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TheGreyJedi-Ranger

The Jedi Chronicles Ep. 7: The Jedi Menace

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I am a menace to my own health, I swear.

 

Kylo Ren Star Wars GIF - KyloRen StarWars AdamDriver - Discover & Share GIFs

Yes this is technically a Ben Solo themed challenge. Y'all leave me and this poor cinnamon roll be

 

But for real, I've been slowly crawling my way back to decent healthy behaviors. I've been held back by:

  • My oven being on the fritz
  • The internet being out regularly, causing me to be stuck doing my work on my husband's work schedule
  • Exhaustion and Overwork
  • Anxiety about exercising at home
  • Straight up bluesiness

 

There's not a lot about this that I can control. So I'm trying to figure out how to work within what I can control. So my goals for this challenge are going to be primarily things that I can control one way or another. Except the cooking. Ultimately, I'd like to:

  • Start the process to fix my oven (pre challenge)
  • Be regularly cooking 3x/week (unless we legit don't need more food because my recipe made more than we needed)
  • Get my step numbers up regularly whether that be by just walking around more inside and out or doing dancing classes
  • Work on finding healthy rest and coping mechanisms

 

Well See The Force Awakens GIF by Star Wars - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

So my goals for this challenge are thus.

 

Get Cooking

Cook three meals a week from home. I get extra credit if I prep another meal ahead of time - like I did with breakfast burritos this week- but it's not a requirement. But I generally eat healthier if I eat at home. I tend to put it off because between cooking and everything else I am much busy.

 

Hopefully, we can get the oven fixed this challenge and I can open up to more dishes. Plus there are some tasty homemade treats I've been DYING to make, and fall is basically here. There are fall treats to make (like sweet potato dumplings and pumpkin crumb cake and apple dishes) and enjoy.

 

Week 1: 1/1

Week 2: 2/2

Week 3: 1/3

Week 4: 2/3

Week 5: 1/3

 

ben solo gif | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgir

 

Get Moving

I'm going to slowly increase my daily step goal over the course of the next five weeks. Most days, I get around 2000 steps. So I'll start with 2k steps for a week, then increase by 500/day every week. Workout days are going to be fairly easy. But this will also encourage me to take more frequent breaks. Like every 20 mins I get up and do a lap around the room. it gets my eyes off the screen as well! The goal will be to do so 6 days a week.

 

Week 1: 3/6 (2000 steps)

Week 2: 4/6 (2000 steps)

Week 3: 5/6 (2000 steps)

Week 4: 5/6 (2000 steps)

Week 5: 2/6 (2000 steps)

 

Animated gif about gif in Adam Driver by Serendipity

 

Get Dancing

Easy one! I'll be going to a dance class once a week, and then doing one other day of 'dance class' at home. I can do more to help work on my steps and get workouts in, but that's the bare minimum. I love the dance classes, they not only cheer me up but they get me out of the house. I want to be able to go to two a week next challenge. I've been doing this weekly for almost a month now and adding another workout sounds fun!

 

Week 1: 0/2

Week 2: 0/2

Week 3: 2/2

Week 4: 2/2

Week 5: 0/2

 

Star Wars: The Last Jedi - The Battle In Snokes Throne Room GIF | Gfycat

 

I think that's going to be all we have. A simple challenge to help me get through a challenging time in life.

 

I hope everyone has a great challenge!

 

May the Force Be With You!

 

ben solo deserved better | Tumblr

Shhhh don't judge my Ben Solo obsession, I swear he deserved so much better

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16 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Here for your Draco in Leather Pants challenge.

Am highly offended, can confirm 😛

 

More under the spoiler. If by some chance someone hasn't seen The Rise of Skywalker or doesn't want spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, don't open the spoiler.

 

Spoiler

But for real, after reading a lot of the wookeepedia info on Ben, I suspect that Palpatine was manipulating him as much, or more, than he did Anakin.

 

I don't necessarily think he's good from his choices, as much as he was pushed down a path. I also don't think the idea of Luke attacking him is any more character compliant than Harry basically disowning his middle child. Like really? Not Mr. 'I have to protect everyone.' and DEFINITELY not Mr. 'my father has done so many terrible things including torture my twin sister.' It just doesn't make sense. If Luke hadn't attacked him and he hadn't seemed to be betrayed by his entire family, where would he have gone? 

 

From a writer's perspective I understand why what happened did (except that luke bit, that felt lazy and wrong tbh, v out of character). But as a person, I do think Ben could have made different choices if he hadn't been manipulated by Palpatine. 

 

For more on that, see Far from Perfect/But Perfect As We Are

 

 

 

15 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Not having an oven is a pain. Hope it's fixed soon. Your fall treats sound delicious!

For real. I'm about to call the oven repair folks to start the process

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45 minutes ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Am highly offended, can confirm 😛

I mainly wanted to tease you.

Spoiler

I don't care what JKR says, The Cursed Child remains the only thing across all my nerddoms where I refuse to accept something the creator says is canon as canon.

 

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5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I mainly wanted to tease you.

I figured :)  

 

I do obviously have very strong feelings about the way that whole thing went though xD 

 

Spoiler

SAME about Cursed Child. It was a trainwreck from start to finish

 

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Ooof yesterday was rough. 

 

I was just super blah and was eating like an idiot. Like, no real excuse I just was. I was in a terrible mood when I went to my fitness class (but I did go!) though afterwards I felt better. But only temporarily unfortunatly.

 

Today I'm feeling a little better?  I woke up with a throbbing headache but a couple ibuprofen kicked it for the time being. I also ate breakfast and am working on coffee in case either of those was the issue.

 

My back is also killing me. It was hurting yesterday for some reason and then my fitness class most def made it worse. I really think it's tied to being out of shape. My back tends to hurt a lot when I'm on my feet quite a bit. But I don't know. It's not incapacitating so I'll just keep living my life.

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HI I realized I've been lurking and forgot to comment OOPS xD

 

I hope your back feels better soon :( that sucks.

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On 9/8/2020 at 2:31 PM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

More under the spoiler. If by some chance someone hasn't seen The Rise of Skywalker or doesn't want spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, don't open the spoiler.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I agree with these thoughts SO. MUCH. Also Ben is a cinnamon roll and he absolutely deserved better and I am STILL MAD.

 

I'm here to follow along and I very much hope your head and back are feeling better soon!!  ❤️ 

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On 9/9/2020 at 1:01 PM, Dusk said:

HI I realized I've been lurking and forgot to comment OOPS xD

 

I hope your back feels better soon :( that sucks.

It's all good, I'm a major lurker xD

 

I do too. It's definitely frustrating, but if it gets too bad or doesn't get better, I'll just go see my husband's awesome chiropractor! I might do it anyway just to see what I can do to help.

 

16 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

 

I agree with these thoughts SO. MUCH. Also Ben is a cinnamon roll and he absolutely deserved better and I am STILL MAD.

 

I'm here to follow along and I very much hope your head and back are feeling better soon!!  ❤️ 

THANK YOU. He really is. That smile he gave Rey murders me every time I see it. That file linked in the spoiler is a Fanfic that I wrote that's basically "what if someone could see that Ben needed help?" and I'm very proud of it despite it not being quite done (at 24k words you'd think I'd be done but no)

 

For your enjoyment, the Rey/Ben playlist I've been building since The Last Jedi came out:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Wpx9IOJpqmXRxrZM2YGol?si=6gv6YqfMQgCwjrTVVxHliQ

 

My headache never came back yesterday thankfully, and I'm just kind of... ignoring my back xD I'm putting serious thought into calling a chiropractor though.

 

50 minutes ago, doctorake said:

Following! 

Nice to have you!!

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The past couple of days (including challenge day 1) have been pretty rough. I've been pretty hardcore stuck in my own brain for the past few days, and possibly disassociating hard. Likely from not taking the time for myself that I need to. 

 

I think I'm starting to get past it though. 

 

The oven repair guy is coming on the 23rd, which is further away than I hoped but it's better than nothing. I also have an optometrist appointment tomorrow to see why I can't wear my contacts all of a sudden. 

 

One of my best friends is coming up starting this weekend and we'll be doing all sorts of fun things! She already asked me to make chili one night, and I might see if my friend's mom will let me use my friend's old apartment to make cornbread. 

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Okay, I didn't get my steps yesterday, but I have a better idea of how to get them moving forward. I was like 400 short but I literally didn't get time before the clock flipped. 

 

And my watch died overnight and I didn't realize it didn't catch all of my lovely wandering this morning during breakfast 😕 But that's okay. Even unrecorded steps still exist. If I come close today I'll count it because I missed some.

 

Yesterday I did some whiteboarding with a friend about my fanfic that I've been working on slowly for months. I realized that my conflict adverse nature makes it REALLY hard for me to give my characters any conflict, even necessary conflict. I hate hurting them. But pain is part of life and helps us grow. 

 

Her advice to me kinda made me laugh, but it's such a good writing nugget: Basically, figure out the central theme of your story, what matters to your main character... then take it away and see what happens. I'm about halfway through the story and honestly it's about time to start handing my character some challenges. 

 

After that whiteboarding session it really made me want to take my finished novel, shred it, and start fresh 😅😅 But I want to finish this story first. It's been a major love child of mine and it's grown my writing ability by SO MUCH. It may only be fanfiction, but it's well thought out and developed fanfiction. And I love it.

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50 minutes ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Even unrecorded steps still exist.

Nope.Sorry , unrecorded steps do not exist. It would be better  if you had just laid in bed until your watch was recharged. At least, that's my theory😁

Way to go on the steps, and the story

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Hey, it may be “only” fanfic but it’s still fun fun!! And good writing practice. I’ve never written any myself, but I love reading it. One of my irl friends writes a ton of fanfic and it’s been so cool to see her writing improve. :)

 

I hope you feel less dissociated soon 😕 that’s not a fun feeling at all. 

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On 9/15/2020 at 12:51 PM, Elastigirl said:

Nope.Sorry , unrecorded steps do not exist. It would be better  if you had just laid in bed until your watch was recharged. At least, that's my theory😁

Way to go on the steps, and the story

Lol I should have xD 

 

5 hours ago, Dusk said:

Hey, it may be “only” fanfic but it’s still fun fun!! And good writing practice. I’ve never written any myself, but I love reading it. One of my irl friends writes a ton of fanfic and it’s been so cool to see her writing improve. :)

 

I hope you feel less dissociated soon 😕 that’s not a fun feeling at all. 

True ❤️ I read a lot of it, but I also catch a lot of crap from people about it sometimes.

 

I'm starting to pull out of it, thankfully! It actually helped that I had to put myself on restriction from reading on my phone because I'm having a lot of issues with dry eyes and wearing contacts all of a sudden. I realized my screen time was somewhere between 8 and 10+ hours in a day, and that's causing some major contact lens issues.  

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Wow this has been a garbage week as far as goals are concerned. 

 

I'm probably going to push my 2k steps for a second week, just to keep pushing on getting in the habit because I'm epically failing presently. I keep missing the goal by a couple hundred steps >.< which means I don't need to do much pushing for this. I do think that I'm going to find a stack of things to put on my desk sometime soon so that I can use my desk as a standing desk sometimes... which will help because I can't stand still to save my life.

 

I haven't actually been doing a lot of eating out this week, I've just had SO MUCH FOOD that I'd cooked previously. I'm going to be going out with my visiting friend a few times, but I'm not mad about it. It's fun with a friend and I'm just going to enjoy the tastes and flavors of the things I'm eating. I also plan on making her some chili, preferably with ground elk if I can put my grubby little hands on it.

 

 Dance class didn't happen this week because I didn't jump the gun fast enough to get signed up for a class. Next week, however, will be different. I'm going to sign up probably tomorrow so I'm ready. I might try to get a second class in because there's another class I want to try. 

 

Another goal I have for next week is to get my sleep schedule straight again. I've been going to bed around 2am and getting up around 10 or 11, and it doesn't help me mood wise. 

 

Now to get some work done before my friend gets up, so we can enjoy the day together ^_^

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On 9/7/2020 at 6:58 PM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Get Cooking

Week 1: 1/1

Week 2: 0/3

Week 3: 0/3

Week 4: 0/3

Week 5: 0/3

 

 

Get Moving

Week 1: 3/6 (2000 steps)

Week 2: 0/6 (2000 steps)

Week 3: 0/6 (2500 steps)

Week 4: 0/6 (3000 steps)

Week 5: 0/6 (3500 steps)

 

 

Get Dancing

Week 1: 0/2

Week 2: 0/2

Week 3: 0/2

Week 4: 0/2

Week 5: 0/2

 

 

Last week was... iffy. But not the worst? 

 

Cooking was a success because I didn't go out to eat a bunch randomly. I cooked food and ate it, and there was plenty! I did go out to eat twice this week, but we have company who loves our local food so we're sharing. Today I'm making a grocery list and my friend is hopefully going to go to the store with me tomorrow. 

 

I got some days with my steps, but I only got half so I'm pushing the goal to next week. I need to find ways to get into the habit of moving more even though I have a sitting job that I do at home. Maybe a box to make my desk into a standing desk? Not sure. But we'll see how this goes. But I'll be getting back on track this week!

 

Wednesday the oven people come so fingers crossed it's not a super expensive fix >_> But that'll be super exciting. I have two different recipes that I want to make immediately! Actually three. Melt-in-your-mouth chicken is one, chicken casserole is another, and I really want to make a delicious homemade dessert. I'm thinking of buying a cake pan and making the pumpkin toffee cake my mom sent me on pinterest a few months back. 

 

But leggings season is back, my fall candles are out, and it's nippy outside so really, all is well ^_^

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I feel like GARBAGE today holy crap.

 

It's partially my own fault. My friend is nocturnal (night shift L&D nurse) and doesn't have a spouse or SO at home to require her to need to run on a normal human schedule. So she tends to sleep between 3-5am and 1-2pm (later when she's on shift). Mr. Right and I are doing our best to spend as much time with her as possible so we're both staying up late. 

 

Yesterday we stayed up until 5am playing Among Us (HOLY CRAP THAT GAME IS HILARIOUS) with our friend and Mr. Right's cousins in our amazing fun discord clan of nepotism (if you're looking for a fun, family friendly discord family, hit me up!). And Mr. Right had to get up around 11:30 for work, and my boss texted me at 8am with some stuff he needed. I ended up waking up around 10:30 and catnapping until 11:30ish. So I'm working with about 5 hours of sleep, which is highly tricky. Especially given that I don't really have any food in my house to eat so I'm subsisting on water, coffee, and energy drinks until my friend wakes up and we can go eat and run errands. 

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oh hey it's your resident actual trash panda.

 

Yesterday started out horrific and ended up amazing. I was struggling at work, there was zero food in the house, I was exhausted,  one of my 2 pairs of jeans ripped beyond repair, etc. But my friend woke up, got me food, took me clothes shopping, and got my groceries >_> We had a lot of fun.

 

Unfortunately, for some odd reason, I couldn't sleep to save my life last night. I was supposed to go to an exercise class at 6am today, so I went to bed around 10:30/11 last night. I laid in bed until 12:30, then just got up to be with Mr. Right and my friend. I stayed up until 2:30ish, and didn't fall asleep for at least another 2 hours aside from a random catnap. 

 

So we're on day 2 of 5ish hours of sleep, and no catchup. My body is on the most atrocious sleep schedule ever, and I don't know how to stop it. 

 

I feel awful for skipping my class, but I suspect that I really really needed it. I wouldn't have been worth much then, or now. And I've got a meeting in like 15 mins. UGH.

 

I am on track to get my steps, and I'm cooking tasty homemade chili tonight so that'll be a good time. And I'm wearing my new clothes, and they're so comfortable and look nice. 

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Wow I have a lot of feelings right now. Not a lot of good ones. 

 

The short version is that I've been going through a lot recently, a lot of which has been tied to having insanely high expectations of myself and those around me. My friend had a chat with me about it on the way to breakfast, and I'm still processing some things. It was a painful conversation but honestly, I've never had a friend who would call me out like that and I'm so so grateful for it. I'm going to use this as the push to get through some of the things I'm struggling with. Because I deserve better than the way I've been treating myself. 

 

Now I'm going to go focus on work, and get things done there until our oven repair man gets here. And find a few things to be thankful for. 

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Okay so I'm going to go on a rant about anxiety and work and y'all are welcome to skip it but I need to get this out.

 

So work has been an incredible struggle the past couple of weeks. My boss and I are scrambling to do the work of twice the people we are (me with mental health issues and him with physical health issues). Things are falling through the cracks and clients are unhappy. This week, and today in particular, have been especially bad. 

 

After everything he said, I went into full shutdown and panic mode. I've had not one, but TWO out of my five employers, both of which being jobs in my supposed field of experience, have fired me with basically no notice. Or rather "Let Me Go" with no notice. Every time things start to go wrong, I start to freak out and wonder if I'm being fired. Which puts my mental health in an even worse spot, and fuels a spiral where I become a self fulfilling prophecy. 

 

As of now, I'm trying to defeat the spiral. I'm trying to be truthful with myself, but treat myself with kindness. It's tricky. I want to feel like it's absolutely vital that I do everything right every time. But not only is that wrong, that gives me anxiety and makes me afraid to do anything. Analysis Paralysis if you will.

 

But my friend had a chat with me this weekend about unrealistic expectations on myself leading to unrealistic expectations on others and I'm... working on that. Because my unrealistic expectations were making me bitter and angry, and anytime I opened myself up to be teased (even just in good fun), I took the opportunity away from others by completely downing on myself and basically 'saying it for them.' Which isn't good at all. And only recently realized. 

 

So I'm working on relaxing my performance anxiety, and trying to feel like enough just as I am. Thorns and all. 

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So my watch died night before last and I didn't track really any steps yesterday 😕 Oh well. I gave it a power boost last night to get through the night, and I'm charging it presently. It won't be long before it's charged. 

 

Today is more work related stuff (because I'm basically always working) and also dealing with both laundry and making dinner. I'm' going to make a dinner dessert as well to test out the oven. Then I can make the grocery list

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12 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

Wow, basically two weeks in and no one has made a Kylo Ren high pants comment yet?

 

Allow me then.

 

9881126f79c128641786faf02d38135e.jpg

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE.

 

Bless you. That's hilarious and I love it

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