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Aθena

Athena gets out of the Tutorial Zone - pt. 1

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After I found the Dr. Wolf chess app, and spend a looot of time on there, I kind of relapsed into old phone habits but still not over the average I used to have before. So that's good. 

 

It's at the forefront of my brain now, to avoid using my mobile as smth other than for phoning and music. And a bit of coloring. :) 

 

I think I haven't done any fysio exercises consequently, nor have I flossed since my dentist appointment. 

 

I did get out my old Medisana fitness tracker the other day. I have bought 2 cheap ones over the years, Medisana connect & "iSport". 

The Medisana one I bought maybe 5 years ago, and they seem to have improved the app so I'm trying it out. I was not pleased with the way it worked back then. It's day 2 today, and I put it on my ankle instead of my wrist :D Because I am not used to having bracelets or a watch on my wrist (anymore), and also because it feels like it will more accurately measure that way. Instead of the movements of my hand?

 

The iSport... I bought in 2018. Was just overall annoying. On the box it said it would have an alarm function, which I'm curious about because my alarm sound is usually very loud. In the manual and when I used to use it, it did not speak of an alarm function. I just watched a Youtube video about its use and the person had an iPhone, the "Istar Fit" app on his phone looked better than when I had it on my android. And it showed an alarm clock function. So I'll ask if I can try it on someone's iphone.

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I think I am finally ready to simplify my goals, since I am not hitting perfect scores on anything BUT the important stuff *is* at the forefront of my mind so I don't need to have the challenge stimulus for that. 

 

* I will keep the Cut down om phone time goal.

* And the journal goal.

* I want a sleep goal. Experiment: how will I feel and look after 30 days of 7,5h of sleep? So hard sleep time at 10pm in the weekends. No more excuses! Only planned getting-to-bed-at-a-later-time moments. Think about it.

* I feel ready to experiment with 16:8 fasting. I will think about the "rules" with regards to that. For sure, I am going to drink a lot of water, and experiment with that, different flavors with fruit & herbs/spices, and experiment with prepping nutritious smoothies. Because omg they have been so awesome this past week that I lost my groove with eating veggies/fruit whole or cut. 

*I want to eat a fatty fish once every week. My mom has a disdain for the smell of fishy fish since she had a fiasco long ago (food poisoning during pregnancy) so I will be cooking when she is gone or going for canned/smoked versions.

 

Tai chi, mobility exercises and such will probably be done & discussed but not as a quest :)  Dental routine + mobility exercises are in my Todoist as recurring every day tasks, so I'll have to consider it.

 

( I switched from bujo to Todoist this weekend, see how that works for me. I skipped my Weekly Review 2 weekends in a row after only doing it 2-3 weekends of 5 total weeks using a bujo. It does not work for me, apparently. Maybe I will try using COLORS for my next try out because writing my tasks out DID help with memory retention & looking at a screen less, but we'll see.)

 

OH SPEAKING OF DOING STUFF w/o TRACKING

 

I casually tried the inline skates and did some balancing exercises with them yesterday.

 

Turns out they are not my size, completely forgot we bought them for mom to skate while we bike but she has not used them. So I will put them up for sale and look for affordable skates in my size. Maaaaybe roller skates instead of inline, to ease into being on tiny wheels lol

 

Also, I bought a weighted blanket earlier this week & last night I tried sleeping with it. It will take some getting used to, I noticed but I slept well! And I suppose I can always switch it up. 

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On 10/13/2020 at 8:05 PM, Aθena said:

 

I am sad that she is not running for another term! I'm not following the news as much as I'd like to but last year she was considering a "successor" but then decided she is not the right person after all :D Or something like that. Interesting wording of the article.

 

I know that if it was easy, everybody would do it/be great etc. but still. I wish the U.S. had a presidential candidate like her haha. With my little knowledge on politics.

teh succsessor was not as good as her. Now we have only terrible candidates. Still the US is in more trouble right now. Cant wait until the 3. ❤️

 

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2 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

teh succsessor was not as good as her. Now we have only terrible candidates.

 

Yesss, so it was too perfectionistic of her. Haha :) Dont let perfect get in the way of good and all that. :D

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Pff. These past days I am being all meh on restricting ANYTHING. Phone use, food, food times. Getting up.

 

And I just cried because I am emotionally processing something from the past.

 

And the first talk with the career coach was nice. She is a good listener. But the report she wrote afterwards... There were a couple of points that really shook me and surprised me she did not *ask* to make sure she understood me well.

 

It was a short shake, I breathed deeply and let go of taking it personal. I talked A LOT and in so many directions. The things in the report I said a few times because they are on my mind but forgot to tell her I don't want to see them on paper.

 

My mom, who has years of experience with local HR and work reintegration people, helped me rephrase the parts I was struggling with not to write a whole novel to replace them. Now I am waiting for her to approve it so I can sign it.

 

I got homework: ask 3 people what they see as my qualities. I will try not to go for family or my partner's more biased views :) They see me as a whole, I want to know from to-the-point friends. I was going to ask a previous class but I am shy.

 

Three more  conversations & reports to go. I am curious!

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You have made good progress over the last several weeks in figuring out what does and does not work for you. Great job!

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17 hours ago, Aθena said:

And the first talk with the career coach was nice. She is a good listener. But the report she wrote afterwards... There were a couple of points that really shook me and surprised me she did not *ask* to make sure she understood me well.

 

It was a short shake, I breathed deeply and let go of taking it personal. I talked A LOT and in so many directions. The things in the report I said a few times because they are on my mind but forgot to tell her I don't want to see them on paper.

 

This sounds like it would be very unsettling, but you're handling it like a champ. And you will learn from this, and figure out tactics from this experience.

 

Is it possible for you to work with your mom, or someone else, to practice for the next interview? 

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On 10/17/2020 at 1:15 AM, Scaly Freak said:

Is it possible for you to work with your mom, or someone else, to practice for the next interview? 

 

Idk what her script is so how would I practice?

 

As our goals for the remaining 3 sessions, I told her I want to get a clear view what my qualities are, and how to formulate them concicely and use that knowledge in an interview.

 

I have the feeling she is going on auto-pilot like with most of her clients, I assume most people do not do an intense (meta) inner search and philosophising and reading about psychology as I do. Like, starting when I was 6 or 7 y.o. or so :D

 

I know TOO MUCH about who I am and how I am and what has shaped me. And a batch full of self-limiting views of self probably.

 

And moreover, a too intense desire to not oversell myself. While also knowing I can be an outright asset for any team. I also realise all too well we are all human. And also that I have a bazillion interests and find my family and friends important. AND also that the future is super unpredictable.

 

So the couple of interviews I have had, I either did not prepare for greatly but even when I did, it seems to have not been enough? And even the questions that were asked that I had prepared,

 

I just go off on too many tangents. I want to cram a full picture of me as a character in one maybe 30 minute interview session.

 

And I thought: we have an hour and this is a PERSONAL career coaching trajectory, I do not have to censor anything. And off my mind went.

 

Although I also complimented her website and therapy concepts. 

 

Hmmm. I will ask my mom first, I think. She has a bunch of experience with how people HR coach and worked in an organisation in the beginning of her career path that helped people get jobs for a couple of years. Yeah. Maybe that will help.

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https://www.nateliason.com/notes/work-clean-dan-charnas

 

This is a book discussed in the latest episode of AoM & "squaring your list with your calendar" is something I have been trying to do :D The author says in the podcast: the list is a product of the mind, using your calendar puts your body somewhere at a specific time or place.

 

I haven't finished listening to the podcast yet. I like the "meeze point" mentioned in the above article and experimenting with finding it. 

Lately I've been looking at my Todoist list and trying to make myself sort my list down to no more than 7-8 "regular to-dos" and 10 small in-between to-dos. I've not been uber succesful with finishing everything,

but using the eisenhower/covey prioritisation system (tagging to-dos with p1/p2/p3/p4) has been helping me find peace of mind while postponing tasks.

Having started to define my roles & think in terms of being & doing things that are in line with what I think I want to End With (beginning with the End in Mind exercise) also.

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7 hours ago, Aθena said:

I just go off on too many tangents. I want to cram a full picture of me as a character in one maybe 30 minute interview session.

 

Why? How will presenting every single aspect of who you are, help you get a job?

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2 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Why? How will presenting every single aspect of who you are, help you get a job?

 

Thanks. I need to hear this.

 

It won't. This is part of my self-diagnosed pathological need to be understood PRECISELY. That means all nuances, that I can think of. It's like during the conversation, I get this need to throw in all sorts bits about me, and of course end up eating up in between parts bc I feel the time pressure, and people end up with question marks.

 

And usually, in my brain, that I am cool and why I am awesome is self-evident or so, ( :D ) so I end up mentioning the "TRULY important things", which are my negative sides.

 

What the other person ends up remembering therefore are the negative bits, maybe, usually? exaggerated because they assume so because why else would I talk so insecurely about myself right? Or maybe not even exaggerated because I tend to use real negative words during such moments. Either honestly (expectation managament) or as a self-depricating joke.

 

(This is based on my (over)analysis after 2 serious student job interviews, one at a legal call center and one at a bank, and other student and life events.)

 

Pfffff. Yes. Thank you. Time to reboot and readjust some of my settings again... 

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1 minute ago, Aθena said:

What the other person ends up remembering therefore are the negative bits, maybe, usually? 

 

Definitely.

 

They will also remember that you felt a need to emphasize the reasons why you should not have this job, which means you never wanted it in the first place. You're at this interview for some other reason, and the sooner we can get this over with so we can move on to interview candidates who actually want to work here, the better.

 

Some food for thought... :) 

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9 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Some food for thought... :) 

 

It was! Even my subconcious told me to listen to you :D (I dreamt you messaged me that you won't have time to always be there to tell me but I can think of you as often as I want through the day HAHA how noble of my dream self to tell me I can use my memory to crowd out my thoughts that serve no purpose :D )

 

That goes for so many mentions in here, I have been trying to keep an Evernote for my personal use to read when my own wisdom is on the low level. ( stuff said to me or stuff I don't think someone would mimd me having, i.e. no personal life stuff info, just the thoughts reflecting the principles.) What a community we have here!

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I agree with @Scaly Freak, you are approaching the interview questions from your point of view. A better approach is to look at the needs of the person and institution doing the interviewing.

 

As a person who interviews job candidates, I can tell you that there is a range of standard questions that you will get for any professional position. The key is to show how your strengths make you a good fit for the job. Here are a few examples from the first phone interview we do with all candidates.

 

  1. What do you know about our company?    this is your chance to show that you actually read our website, and maybe know something about the industry
  2. What interests you about this position?    time to show your enthusiasm and explain how it is a great opportunity for you
  3. How does your previous experience prepare you for this position?    explain how your qualifications relate to the specific job
  4. This will be different from what you have done before, how will you adapt?    show enthusiasm for learning new things, working in a new environment, etc.
  5. What is the biggest strength you bring to this job?
  6. What challenges do you anticipate?    better have answers in hand for how you plan to meet each challenge
  7. Tell me about a time when you had to do X (where X is a challenging task or personal interaction relevant to the job).
  8. What questions do you have for me?   one should be "do you have any reservations about my qualifications for this position?", but first you should ask about other things, like long term growth opportunities within the company.

Pretty much every job that is not retail sales or assembly work will ask you the questions above. There is not one right answer, more of a right attitude and tone. I am looking for a person who has training and skills to fit the job. Everyone we interview will have those if HR did their part in screening the applications. The most important part for my team is attitude. Does the person understand the kind of work and really want to do it? Are they going to get stressed or bored in the first six months and leave? Do they have good listening and speaking skills? How do they adapt to unfamiliar things?

 

I actually do not want to know much about the candidate outside of their work experience. For one thing, it is illegal to ask personal questions of job applicants in the US. I want the person to be attentive to the questions I ask and make a solid attempt to answer them. They lose points if they answer a different question, or go off on a tangent. I am the person they have to convince that they are a good fit for this job. If they don't pay attention to me during the interview, I would not expect if after they were hired, so that's not going to happen.

 

It's great to give your career coach background information about yourself so she can help you find positions that would be a good fit. A practice interview is not the time to have that conversation.

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14 minutes ago, Mistr said:

The most important part for my team is attitude. Does the person understand the kind of work and really want to do it? Are they going to get stressed or bored in the first six months and leave? Do they have good listening and speaking skills? How do they adapt to unfamiliar things?

 

Seconded. Where I work, we look for a background where you did things similar to the things we are going to need you to do. We also emphasize attitude, listening skills, and whether it seems like you really want the job or not. We already know you're qualified and can do the job, because you wouldn't be here at the interview if you weren't, so to go over that again is a waste of our time.

 

We're here to try and determine whether you can do the job better than the other three candidates we're also interviewing for this vacancy. You are here to convince us we'd be making a mistake to let you go. It's not a popularity contest, and it's not about getting to know each other or become friends. Bluntly put, it's about whether you can provide what we are looking to purchase, and also about whether you can convince us of that.

 

23 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I actually do not want to know much about the candidate outside of their work experience. For one thing, it is illegal to ask personal questions of job applicants in the US. I want the person to be attentive to the questions I ask and make a solid attempt to answer them. They lose points if they answer a different question, or go off on a tangent.

 

This too. If you can't stay focused while we're in the same room talking face to face, how do you expect me to believe you'll be able to focus on doing your job? ;) 

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I am always confused about the "what makes YOU special?" question

 

What sets me apart? Well, that's for the interviewer to decide, isn't it? Your first impression is formed in the first 5 seconds. Then you get a feel for me as a person as we talk. That's people skills & intuition :D


For the rest I am just like any person, I do not think myself better or worse than anyone else.

 

...And I just went on to explain to you guys EXACTLY how I think I can set myself apart from the competition. Drat. This self-reflection WITH help is really doing me good. Oh and asking 2 of my friends for feedback. I am just about to call a third.

 

I guess I never really sat down this way. I sort of... waved it off like "I think about myself so much. These questions are silly. Also I hate talking about myself like I am a big deal. JUST LET ME DO THE WORK I LOVE TO DO AND WITH CLIENTS"

 

Also, I am a lot more confident and self aware than I was 4 years ago. Not to forget, I have finally dared opening up on here in the past... 2 years? 

 

Thank you for the insider info. Lots of websites I have read sort of explain what you also said, but Idk. I guess it is different reading it from you than from some flashy looking website that usually is written for sales agents/managers or graphic designers.

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2 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

If you can't stay focused while we're in the same room talking face to face, how do you expect me to believe you'll be able to focus on doing your job? ;) 

 

But but but I am really good at it when I am sat down and really focused on ASSIGNMENTS/a task. Or even a policy dicussion. 

 

Interviews give me oral test vibes & trigger unhappy HS memories & also, exactly: there is no wrong answer. Someone is simply gauging my qualification for the job. So it is difficult to pinpoint what is relevant and my brain throws all sorts of answers at me. (USED TO*) It's a bit of a Russian lottery with most recruiters, on the one hand, 

 

while on the other, most recruiters prefer taking the cookie cutter guy or gal because that is a safe bet.

 

That is what I have seen so far. 

 

But I decided I am the underdog, and the underdog always wins! :)

 

* I have apparently gotten a lot better at answering the 'what sets me apart' question, considering what I wrote (but then deleted) in the above post, and was able to word it quite concisely above, so. Maybe its safe to assume my brain will behave next job interview 👌

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Interviews are a special breed of high pressure situation. You want the job, but you need to look calm and self-assured about it, while showing your most charming side.

 

1 hour ago, Aθena said:

I am always confused about the "what makes YOU special?" question

 

No, no, that is much too broad. The interviewer does not want to know what makes you a special snowflake. She wants to know what makes you a great fit for THIS JOB

 

1 hour ago, Aθena said:

What sets me apart? Well, that's for the interviewer to decide, isn't it? Your first impression is formed in the first 5 seconds. Then you get a feel for me as a person as we talk. That's people skills & intuition :D

 

People skills are exactly what you need. If there are three qualified candidates being interviewed, the one with the best people skills will get the job.

 

1 hour ago, Aθena said:

For the rest I am just like any person, I do not think myself better or worse than anyone else.

 

...And I just went on to explain to you guys EXACTLY how I think I can set myself apart from the competition. Drat. 

 

I guess I never really sat down this way. I sort of... waved it off like "I think about myself so much. These questions are silly. Also I hate talking about myself like I am a big deal. JUST LET ME DO THE WORK I LOVE TO DO AND WITH CLIENTS"

 

Knowing what you can do is a great start. You also want to be able to explain your boundaries. Maybe you like doing new things and hate repetitive work. Maybe you like talking in person, but not writing emails, or visa versa. Do not tell the interviewer you will do anything. She will know you are lying. Be clear about what you like to do and where you will draw the line and not take the job.

 

You will not be talking about yourself like you are a big deal. You will be talking about yourself as a well-educated professional who is considering taking a position in her area of expertise. It is just as much you interviewing them as them interviewing you. You need to know more details about the position and the work culture of the office. They need to know if you have the right skills for the job and will get along with the team. Showing you can get along with the interviewers is where you start demonstrating your people skills.

 

56 minutes ago, Aθena said:

while on the other, most recruiters prefer taking the cookie cutter guy or gal because that is a safe bet.

 

That may be true of recruiters, because they are trying to bring in a range of potential candidates. The actual hiring manager is not looking for just anyone. She is looking for someone who can fill a specific role, become productive quickly, and will get along with everyone in the office.

 

I know that people who are too driven or perfectionistic will be unhappy on my team. I'm looking for someone with the patience to listen and ask questions before giving their opinion. A different job might want exactly those characteristics that don't work for me. These are not value judgements on people, just looking for a good match. You want to find out what the hiring manager wants, and decide for yourself if you are a good match.

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1 hour ago, Mistr said:

These are not value judgements on people, just looking for a good match. You want to find out what the hiring manager wants, and decide for yourself if you are a good match.

 

I felt a lot of resistence to what you wrote, and started a rebuttal but I concluded that my underlying reason is that this process takes so much time.

 

And you have 0 information about the TEAM you will work with to base yourself on as an applicant. (Unless it is one of the open firm days of the big law firms.)

 

I know what teams I work best with, I think. But I don't know this while applying. And if I get rejected, because I would not be a good match,

 

that would feel like being in one of those sitcoms where BOTH people KNOW the relationship is going to end, but one breaks up with the other. And the other's lamenting the fact THEY were not the one to break up with them first :D

 

Thats childish. I will work on that. 

 

I am going to CONQUER Job Interview Doubts,

 

I am going to seek to understand what a firm/company needs, and what the hiring manager is looking for,

 

I will determine if that is where I would want to gain experience, and be an awesome person at, being of value to those around me

 

and, I will showcase how I am the person for the job (and let that speak for, why not the others,

 

who are likely all competent and interesting people, but not (as) right (as) for THIS job (like I AM))

 

with clarity & self-assurance.

 

I will explain my boundaries, if relevant.

 

And I will accept the result if the hiring mg. does not think so. With grace and, the realisation that if nothing else, it was practice for a skill that is essential in the current job market: job interviews and related actions. :)

 

P.S. - the people that I base most of my views of hiring managers being hard to read/not acommodating

 

 are a bit of very strong characters that mutual acquientences, sometimes even friends, tend to feel intimidated by, even though I myself find them reasonable and easy to interact with,

 

so I guess maybe that was A THING. Maybe I, as the easy going and adaptable person that I am, when I finally relax and show myself in the right way, will not have these obstacles. Who knows.

 

I just need to really use my self etc. knowledge and not go in biased. 

 

I rarely take things personal, especially on the "rational level", with the exception of oral tests and interviews apparently. Sheesh.

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3 hours ago, Aθena said:

But but but I am really good at it when I am sat down and really focused on ASSIGNMENTS/a task. Or even a policy dicussion. 

 

A task like a job interview? Or a discussion like... this job interview? 

 

Yeah, trolling a little bit here, but that's actually the kind of thing you need to convince the interview panel about. Yes, it might be a panel.

 

In my department we line up six people behind a table and take turns asking you questions. Everyone will take notes, and we have made a game out of making random thoughtful facial expressions for n good reason, just to see what how interviewee will react. A critically important part of what we do requires you to stay calm and friendly in the face of considerable pressure, and to think fast while you do. So we have arranged the interview itself to create awkwardness and a bit of pressure and we watch their reaction closely. Someone who becomes flustered and begins to lose focus on what they were talking about when someone quickly interrupts them with a follow-up questions, is not going to survive on our team. Neither is someone who tries and fails to conceal their dismay or irritation at a border-line appropriate joke. :) 

 

3 hours ago, Aθena said:

Interviews give me oral test vibes & trigger unhappy HS memories & also, exactly: there is no wrong answer. Someone is simply gauging my qualification for the job. So it is difficult to pinpoint what is relevant and my brain throws all sorts of answers at me. (USED TO*) It's a bit of a Russian lottery with most recruiters, on the one hand, 

 

Well, can't help you with the school memories, but I can tell you there definitely a lot of many wrong answers possible to give during job interviews.

 

Don't confuse a job interview with the recruiting process. To once again give an example from my own company, Human Resources does the recruiting. We provide them a list of qualifications and personality traits, and they read applications and weed out candidates. They do phone interviews with promising candidates, and weed out some more, and then we get the last three or four who made it this far. At this point, it's not about qualifications anymore.

 

It's about this:

 

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

You will be talking about yourself as a well-educated professional who is considering taking a position in her area of expertise. It is just as much you interviewing them as them interviewing you. You need to know more details about the position and the work culture of the office. They need to know if you have the right skills for the job and will get along with the team. Showing you can get along with the interviewers is where you start demonstrating your people skills.

 

Also this:

 

29 minutes ago, Aθena said:

I am going to seek to understand what a firm/company needs, and what the hiring manager is looking for,

 

I will determine if that is where I would want to gain experience, or rather, whether it is NOT so,

 

if it is NOT not-so, I will showcase how I am the person for the job (and let that speak for, why not the others,

 

who are likely all competent and interesting people, but not (as) right (as) for THIS job (like I AM))

 

with clarity & self-assurance.

 

This is the secret recipe for successful job interviews. :) 

 

I would also suggest you make sure to reveal your true personality as much as is possible and appropriate during the job interview, because we are looking for someone whose personality is a good fit for the team. If that goes wrong, everyone ends up miserable, and that's a recipe for disaster.

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23 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

but I can tell you there definitely a lot of many wrong answers possible to give during job interviews.

 

Well, yeah, but in the way like people say "there are no dumb questions", while there ARE dumb questions, right?

 

You can be dismissive, or defensive, or do not show that you have researched the company well, or that you don't know why you are there, or go on tangents, or get all self-conscious and talk a lot about your bad sides.

 

But if you are simply yourself, keep your calm & do what I said above, there are no wrong answers. Just not a good fit, well fine, goodbye then!

 

I suppose that's why the biggest law firms usually have students first do an internship, THEN a sort-of-traineeship, and only then are considered to be able to apply for an actual laywer-or-notary-or-so position.

 

I wish I had the feeling the place I did my internship at was the right place for me, but alas. I really liked what they had going on FOR THEM, I was taking notes, but it was not my jam entirely. (Though they were really good colleagues & good working together energy. It just wasn't "it" yet. I did get REALLY mushy on the last day though, I was so touched by their positive comments :D They looked a bit surprised but fine. The important part was I remained professional and cool during the most part of the internship haha)

 

ANYWAY, the second coaching conversation was today and it was nice. I felt a lot more focused. I felt like a big step was made towards me being more collected.

 

Between then and now (and also because of your posts) I was trying to imagine about how I would be at an interview if I had one soon.

 

I used to do this a lot before all of this process, and the difference is great, wow. Those years before, and even in the past year (when I was considering job opportunities once I finish my first thesis), I felt like I could go on and on about something, questions, and I felt tension building up in my chest as I did not approve of knowing I was not acting like I wanted but did not know yet what my Highest Level Job Interview Skill would look like.

 

These past days, I have vocabulary in my arsenal that feels a lot more 'right' and I can also actually imagine myself talking while being mostly calm, and mostly not-fidgetting.

 

During the conversation today I was again a lot more open and not focused on anything in particular than I would be in a job interview, and just discussing the things my friends said about me, 

 

But I felt more assurance, felt more Idk. I did start gesticulating/fixing my hair/readjusting my seat in an excited manner a few times as I explained to the coach my revelations & how interesting it was to hear "what others in my environment see as my qualities" and also to think about her follow-up questions, but it was different than before. Yeah, I am really benefiting from this.

 

And also not unimportant: during the conversation, I realised that to work a function that fits to my drives the best, and the current "maturity" I have, there is a better option, and which areas of law will put me in situations that work best with these qualities I have atm.

 

(And looking more to the future, I think I would benefit to have some more general "coaching sessions" with her, but that's when I start getting a salary. It's not easy to get a good fit with someone, so it seems like some sort of serendipity.)

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33 minutes ago, Aθena said:

Well, yeah, but in the way like people say "there are no dumb questions", while there ARE dumb questions, right?

 

Oh, absolutely. "Should I drink gasoline directly from the pump, or pour it over ice first?" is a good example. "Will this shoe taste better with garlic?" is another. The world is filled with dumb and stupid questions. ;) 

 

36 minutes ago, Aθena said:

And also not unimportant: during the conversation, I realised that to work a function that fits to my drives the best, and the current "maturity" I have, there is a better option, and which areas of law will put me in situations that work best with these qualities I have atm.

 

WIN. Big win. 

 

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On 10/21/2020 at 11:57 PM, Scaly Freak said:

Yeah, trolling a little bit here, but that's actually the kind of thing you need to convince the interview panel about. Yes, it might be a panel.

 

Thanks for the troll by the way, it helped me frame it. I already had this thing floating in my brain that I cannot help anyone as much as I could if I had the resources of a firm that already has a client base, capital etc. (I'm not interested in starting for myself ASAP, I'll do my professional education and see where I am at that point.)

 

During the conversation with the coach I also explained that during my teens I had this tendency to sit in the background,

 

Spoiler

 

(Which, btw, is not entirely true, because I have a hard time keeping thoughts to myself if I think it will benefit the discussion even when I'm surrounded by catty guys and gals lol

but I DID really try to not mingle and just "sit my time out" in that "institution with teachers that sound like they have enough of their job but nowhere else to go"

and in most the time of the last years of HS, I succeeded, BUT that's when I started trying out different fashion options like super baggy clothes or all-braided hair and colorful earrings. It was fun. 

But when I realised that, I had another win: I stopped myself from correcting myself and taking the conversation on an entirely different tangent than the one I was interested in :) )

 

 

but then, I realised, going into uni, I won't be able to do what I want to do and be of value if I sit with. my insecurities, 

 

And now that point was driven home, by realising that, yeah, it's just another task. This/these interview(s).

 

Moreover, it's a very important task. Finding the right firm to partner with in my efforts to institute positive change/support in my environment. (And, of course, get the bread to support my family, help my mom get us out of this living environment that is NOT for us, and maybe even some luxury desires with regards to living space... Oh, and let's not forget I would be very happy to be the first investor in one of the many business idea mom has, that I'm sure she will develop - as it goes, probably with trial and error - to be something awesome, even after feeling like a car on muddy ground for so many years. Whew!)

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