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Countess D'If

Countess D'If Doesn't Try

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On 9/18/2020 at 5:37 PM, Tateman said:

Hopefully, air quality get better there soon. If we could just have the entire west coast to stop being on fire. 

Two clear sky days. Can you believe?

 

I took my vitamins tonight. I haven’t gotten out of bed all weekend. What a miserable week. Is it 2021 yet? 

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14 hours ago, Countess D'If said:

Two clear sky days. Can you believe?

 

I took my vitamins tonight. I haven’t gotten out of bed all weekend. What a miserable week. Is it 2021 yet? 

We've had some good days here, then saw an article saying the smoke may be coming back this week 😭 yeah, I am ready for 2020 to go away. Just needs some signs of things getting better I suppose. 

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20 hours ago, Tateman said:

Just needs some signs of things getting better I suppose. 

Well, we just decided to start planning good stuff. Example, The Marine and I just planned Christmas. Because it sounded fun and it gives us something to look forward to. He's buying the tree and the roast beef. I'm giving the gorls $100 each to go to the mall and lose their minds buying presents for each other and grandmothers and such. And we'll get gifts for the gorls. I want a plant. The Marine wants some cologne. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

 

NpYt.gif

 

I am also going to Disneyland in January 2022. If anyone wants to join me. Assuming Disneyland is open by January 2022 and the "Supreme" "Court" hasn't had me executed for being female. 

 

Because I'm tired of just waiting for the bad news to keep rolling on in. I'm sick of it. I hate it. I hate this year. I hate Hate HATE everything right now. So. I needed something nice to look forward to. I'm tired of being mad. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of waiting. 

 

So I'm instituting mandatory fun. 

 

God damn it.

 

Also - I've been good about taking my vitamins. Yay!

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3 hours ago, Countess D'If said:

Well, we just decided to start planning good stuff. Example, The Marine and I just planned Christmas. Because it sounded fun and it gives us something to look forward to. He's buying the tree and the roast beef. I'm giving the gorls $100 each to go to the mall and lose their minds buying presents for each other and grandmothers and such. And we'll get gifts for the gorls. I want a plant. The Marine wants some cologne. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

 

NpYt.gif

 

I am also going to Disneyland in January 2022. If anyone wants to join me. Assuming Disneyland is open by January 2022 and the "Supreme" "Court" hasn't had me executed for being female. 

 

Because I'm tired of just waiting for the bad news to keep rolling on in. I'm sick of it. I hate it. I hate this year. I hate Hate HATE everything right now. So. I needed something nice to look forward to. I'm tired of being mad. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of waiting. 

 

So I'm instituting mandatory fun. 

 

God damn it.

 

Also - I've been good about taking my vitamins. Yay!

This all sounds quite excellent. 

 

We had planned to go to Disney twice this year. I watch a few Disney vloggers and such. It actually is starting to look promising that Disney will open soon. To what extent I don't know. But things are getting positive. 

 

Let mandatory fun commence! :D 

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I've been really good about taking my vitamins! I believe I am at 100%. Yay. 

 

I'm still waiting for nevada to approve my unemployment claim and give me some money. Less yay.

 

I am FIVE HOURS AWAY from freedom from THE WORST training I have ever EVER had to suffer through in my entire life. (And I took the bar exam two years ago, so. . . )

 

The Marine turned 40 yesterday. I ❤️ him so much 🙂

 

That's all. That's the update.

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On 9/22/2020 at 12:05 PM, Countess D'If said:

So I'm instituting mandatory fun. 

 

God damn it.

Space Ghost: Kevin Smith FUN, DAMNIT

 

 

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Got into a massive fight with Midget Mayhem last night and went to bed pissed off and exhausted and forgot to take my pills. Then I couldn't sleep at all last night and I know I was awake until at least 4 am. Then, this morning, The Marine said something god damn stupid (I asked where his insurance cards were. He said they were probably at home in the key holder thing. I said why did you do that? [I feel like I conveyed the proper "I'm teasing you" tone here] He said he probably did it because it was one of those times I yelled at him to come help me right now! [There was a tone. A SUPER bitchy tone I felt like didn't deserve right then and there].That was irrelevant information and it seemed like he was blaming me that the cards were at home. I did not appreciate that) so I snapped at him (I said "That's fine. It can be my fault. That's fine.") and now we are fighting (by which I mean we didn't speak to each other for the rest of our commute).

 

Oh well. Also, welcome Friday - you certainly took your sweet time getting here

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I hate when frayed nerves meet frayed nerves and escalate on each other.  As much fun as it isn't, silence was probably the best option. Hopefully you both can have time and space to cool down and approach one another with grace.

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On 9/25/2020 at 5:32 PM, Whisper said:

I hate when frayed nerves meet frayed nerves and escalate on each other.  As much fun as it isn't, silence was probably the best option. Hopefully you both can have time and space to cool down and approach one another with grace.

That's exactly what happened. We were both fine by the end of the day.

 

On Saturday, MIL took the 17-year old™ for the day. The Marine and I took Midget Mayhem to go see Gremlins at the movie theatre for ONE DOLLAR! The Marine and Midget Mayhem have a yearly Halloween scary movie marathon. I told MM that Gremlins is a super scary horror movie and that she better be prepared. After the movie she told me I was a "liar" and told me that she is SUPER annoyed with me. I just laughed at her. The Marine was very proud of me.

 

Sunday I trimmed and washed Archie Dog. It took ALL DAY (For reals, Midget Mayhem told me it took five hours). He is currently not speaking to me. 

 

Last night I set out my work clothes like a whole ass grown up. Today I managed to get out of bed on time and brush my teeth and make my coffee. I grabbed my gym shoes and a change of clothes to take a walk at lunch. I took Midget Mayhem to her Nana for Monday distance learning. I dropped The Marine off at work on time. I was on time. I'm listening to the legislature talk about juvenile justice reform. Holy carp. Look at me go.

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21 hours ago, Tateman said:

It's been quite a long time since I saw Gremlins.  Glad you and The marine are good to go :)

It's so silly. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. I forgot how silly it is. 

 

21 hours ago, Tateman said:

And quite excellent start for the day.

And I mostly did it again today!

 

 

Yesterday continued to be good. I went for a mile(ish?) long walk around my new work neighborhood. I Didn't manage to keep up with my hourly steps goal for some reason? I usually don't ignore the alarm on my fit bit, so I have no idea what was going on there. I did forget my lunch yesterday, so I ended up with a headache and I was super crabby. So I took  my pills, ate some dinner, and went to bed at 7 - after I BRUSHED MY TEETH! I am so flipping proud of myself! I know that like, baseline human-ing, but I'm taking as much credit as I can get while I'm not cripplingly depressed. 

 

Calories in = 1,489

Calories Out = 2,348

Deficit = 859

 

This morning was a little less on timey. I didn't set out my clothes, but I knew what I wanted to wear. I brushed my teeths AGAIN! I'm on a flipping ROLL! And I made myself a quick lunch because no lunch is not working for me. Then The Marine caused a delay so I was about 5 minutes late to work.

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Just got caught up. Digital hugs. 

 

It sucks that so many of us can all relate to these thoughts.

 

I know some people that should maybe relate to these thoughts, or at least their level of darkness, and get a wakeup call, but don't. They carry on on their merry way and do not, for a second, think they are not worth it.

 

Why do we? It is what it is, and I agree they should come out, but yeah. What if we, with our principles and plans and character, had that unshakeable confidence that we have a right to this world's oxygen, and space and time, regardless of our abilities to realise them at this very moment, to shake off at least those thoughts that pull us down without ANY constructive feedback? 😋

 

Rooting for you, Countess. :)

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22 hours ago, Tateman said:

Hell yeah! :)  How's the new work area neighborhood? 

 

It is so nice. there's a very busy street out front, but then the other direction is a quiet residential neighborhood. Perfect for lunchtime walkies.

 

14 hours ago, Aθena said:

Just got caught up. Digital hugs. 

 

It sucks that so many of us can all relate to these thoughts.

 

I know some people that should maybe relate to these thoughts, or at least their level of darkness, and get a wakeup call, but don't. They carry on on their merry way and do not, for a second, think they are not worth it.

 

Why do we? It is what it is, and I agree they should come out, but yeah. What if we, with our principles and plans and character, had that unshakeable confidence that we have a right to this world's oxygen, and space and time, regardless of our abilities to realise them at this very moment, to shake off at least those thoughts that pull us down without ANY constructive feedback? 😋

 

Rooting for you, Countess. :)

World's most amazing sentence. Thank you. And thanks for the encouragement. At least now that I've been living with me for so long, I have a few coping mechanisms. But (a) they were hard to come by and I had to fight hard to figure them out, and (b) SOMEtimes my brain just goes right around them. Or sometimes blasts right through them.

 

 

 

 

Yesterday was OK. I didn't go for a walk because the smoke is back. I did take my pills and prep my work clothes and brush my teeth. This morning I had to deal with a "sick" Midget Mayhem who is actually not sick but who is having a full blown anxiety attack because she is scared of her teacher. (Because her teacher has been a BITCH). I'm working on it. I just learned that the school lifted MM's IEP without consulting me or The Marine. So, yeah - The Marine is on a rampage and I'm super glad I don't work for that school. After bribing my 9-year old with promises of a Target run tonight, I got my teeth brushed, got my coffee and the lunches I prepped last night (SRSLY way too much food) and now it's noon and I'm at work. I got paid so I paid all my bills. Boo. And I'm not going to be able to go for a walk because of the smoke. Double Boo. ALSO, I haven't been going for my hourly steps because I read a whole bunch of news articles about the Debacle last night and I am so so so exhausted. I'll try to do better for the afternoon.

 

 

Calories in = 1,588

Calories Out = 2,783

Deficit = 1,195

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17 minutes ago, Countess D'If said:

I just learned that the school lifted MM's IEP without consulting me or The Marine. So, yeah - The Marine is on a rampage and I'm super glad I don't work for that school. 

WTF? Why the hell would they do that? If my kid's school did that, I would be so angry too. My kids school teacher/principle/counselors have been great. Pre-Covid, we met with them often enough to make sure we were all on the same page. Thankfully, we haven't had many issues this year with the distance learning. I hope they get the IEP back in place for MM.

 

It sucks about the smoke. We have had more fires in the area too, so I am sure more is heading that way too. Smoke wasn't too bad here today. Hopefully, it clears up there too. 

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17 hours ago, Tateman said:

WTF? Why the hell would they do that? If my kid's school did that, I would be so angry too. My kids school teacher/principle/counselors have been great. Pre-Covid, we met with them often enough to make sure we were all on the same page. Thankfully, we haven't had many issues this year with the distance learning. I hope they get the IEP back in place for MM.

 

So much this! I'm glad that MM has your support to get everything turned around. Also, I'm super sorry that she's gotten herself worked up over going to school (though, I'm glad a Target run helps). 

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22 hours ago, Tateman said:

WTF? Why the hell would they do that? If my kid's school did that, I would be so angry too. My kids school teacher/principle/counselors have been great. Pre-Covid, we met with them often enough to make sure we were all on the same page. Thankfully, we haven't had many issues this year with the distance learning. I hope they get the IEP back in place for MM.

 

It sucks about the smoke. We have had more fires in the area too, so I am sure more is heading that way too. Smoke wasn't too bad here today. Hopefully, it clears up there too. 

 

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

So much this! I'm glad that MM has your support to get everything turned around. Also, I'm super sorry that she's gotten herself worked up over going to school (though, I'm glad a Target run helps). 

 

 

She actually had a really good day at school yesterday, and she was so so happy to tell me how everything went. I was so relieved. I hate seeing her so disheartened. 

 

Pill and pm/am tooth brushing streak continues. 

 

 

Calories in = 1,749

Calories Out = 2,703

Deficit = 954

 

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Ok, probably not a kidney stone. Probably just horrendous PMS cramps. I've been good all week about my vitamins. But U G H nothing else is going right right now (this is not true at all, everything is actually clicking along just fine). I feel COMPLETLY wiped out. 

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um. . .  weirdness. . . the spin studio I go to just shit canned all its morning classes and now I can't use that gym anymore because schedule? WTF? I'm kind of super pissed off

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On 10/9/2020 at 12:38 PM, Countess D'If said:

um. . .  weirdness. . . the spin studio I go to just shit canned all its morning classes and now I can't use that gym anymore because schedule? WTF? I'm kind of super pissed off

Just kidding. All the a.m. classes are back on the schedule. That was weird.

 

 

I took my pills Friday and Saturday. I scrubbed my shower, took a shower and washed my hair, plopped my hair, and then fell straight to sleep without taking my pills last night because I'm a twit. Last week of the challenge, here we go

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