Snarky tries again

[Snarkyfishguts]

Ah yes, the promised update:

 

I took the whole day off today. I played Animal Crossing ALL DAY with my mom. We really goofed off a lot this weekend, and I feel like I can get back to work tomorrow with cleaning and writing. 

 

I have decided to stop feeling responsible for the adult members of my family. My nephews... that's a different story  They're kids, and sometimes they need an auntie. But back to those grown ups...They're adults, they can handle what life throws at them, and when they can't, they'll ask for help. I'm totally here for them if they need me, but they are not my responsibility, and I'm seeing the difference now. So yay for personal growth! YAY!!!

 

 

 

I find meditation to be incredibly awkward still. I'm hoping it gets less awkward. I mean, meditators, does it get less weird feeling?

 

Making my bed is probably the best thing ever, and why did I stop doing it? Oh right, because the world is a horrible place and I couldn't see the point in it. But I see the point now. It's just so comfy. Even my toes feel happy in a well-made bed. Can toes feel happy? my toes are so happy.

 

Journaling Question of the Day was 

What are your favorite sensory rich foods? Use them to help you press pause on your day.

And there were examples listed

Hard Candy

Chocolate

Breath Mint

Hot tea.

 

 

I really like hot tea. It's really hard to rush through a mug of hot tea. I remember hearing stories about my great grandmother and the way she made tea dark with cream and sugar, and sometimes my mom makes her tea that way. 

Also cookies. There's nothing a fresh-baked cookie can't fix. It makes the house smell amazing too and it just feels like a warm hug when there's a tray of warm cookies in the kitchen. 

 

What about you? Do you have a sensory rich food that helps you slow down when things feel hectic and overhwhelming?

 

Also, there is edible glitter. Just saying. Sparkly cookies  

 

[Stronkey Kong]

7 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I find meditation to be incredibly awkward still. I'm hoping it gets less awkward. I mean, meditators, does it get less weird feeling?

 

 

No.

 

You get used to it, but no. Part of the benefit of meditation, I think, is that you learn to just fucking sit still for a while. It's amazing how many people are utterly incapable to just fucking sitting still. Hardly anybody can do it. Little kids are really bad at it.

 

And when I say, just fucking sit still, I mean JUST FUCKING SIT STILL.

 

Don't fidget. Don't sit and think about your problems. Don't watch the TV. Don't bite your nails. Don't read a book. Don't tap your foot. Don't stare at the clock. Don't run from the velociraptors... there are none.

 

Just sit still and breathe.

 

That weird feeling is your stupid human brain undermining the fact that sitting still and breathing for a few minutes is a nice thing. Just acknowledge the feeling and let it be on its way. It'll quiet down.

[Snarkyfishguts]

2 hours ago, Chris Tarly said:

Don't run from the velociraptors... there are none.

 

(Looks to the side, just to be sure) 

 

I totally feel like a little kid trying to sit still. I find myself listening to guided meditations and singing in my head “pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows” 

 

 

[Sylvaa]

Catching up!

 

Re: glitter - my girls were glitter bombs when they were in elementary school. Like everything was glitter. We are (counts to herself) four houses removed from the abundance of glitter and sometimes we will STILL find glitter hidden in things. It's a fun reminder of when they were younger, but also, very hilarious when my husband has random glitter stuck to his forehead.

 

Re: sensory foods - I second hot tea. I actually got a brand new pot for Christmas last year and it is the most amazing thing ever. The whole actual process of preparing tea is super fun and relaxing to me. It gives me a chance to slow down and focus.

 

I missed your first post of your initial challenge, but it seems like taking a step back helped out this time around. I am thankful for you!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

15 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I have decided to stop feeling responsible for the adult members of my family. My nephews... that's a different story  They're kids, and sometimes they need an auntie. But back to those grown ups...They're adults, they can handle what life throws at them, and when they can't, they'll ask for help. I'm totally here for them if they need me, but they are not my responsibility, and I'm seeing the difference now. So yay for personal growth! YAY!!!

Well done. I'm very happy for you.

 

 

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Catching up!

 

Re: glitter - my girls were glitter bombs when they were in elementary school. Like everything was glitter. We are (counts to herself) four houses removed from the abundance of glitter and sometimes we will STILL find glitter hidden in things. It's a fun reminder of when they were younger, but also, very hilarious when my husband has random glitter stuck to his forehead.

I love it! Glitter booby traps waiting to be sprung! 

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Re: sensory foods - I second hot tea. I actually got a brand new pot for Christmas last year and it is the most amazing thing ever. The whole actual process of preparing tea is super fun and relaxing to me. It gives me a chance to slow down and focus.

Yes! That's especially nice when you have a pot of tea. It definitely says "Hey, where you going? Slow down, have some tea. Everything is okay"

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

I missed your first post of your initial challenge, but it seems like taking a step back helped out this time around. I am thankful for you!

Thanks! I am really thankful for you as well!

 

18 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Well done. I'm very happy for you.

 

 

 

Thanks, mister. 

[echoesofwonder]

11 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows

Welp, this will forever be stuck in my head.  
 

😂

[Aquarii]

22 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I find meditation to be incredibly awkward still. I'm hoping it gets less awkward. I mean, meditators, does it get less weird feeling?

 

 

I hear ya. Meditating sounds like one of the easiest things in the world...turns out it is actually pretty difficult. It is why I am starting with a commitment to just five minutes. I think in the past I have worked my way up to maybe 15, but it definitely takes work to just sit there and be. I like to use the app Insight Timer. I usually just use the timer in the app with one of its music options (so not ready for meditation without music), or I do a guided meditation. I find guided meditations really help me when I am struggling to stay focused.

[Snarkyfishguts]

1 hour ago, echoesofwonder said:

Welp, this will forever be stuck in my head.  
 

😂

You're welcome. 

 

I also played it for my parents who were grumpy. They were extra grumpy when I played it, and then they sang it all day and eventually it worked its glittery magic into their souls. 

 

1 hour ago, Aquarii said:

 

I hear ya. Meditating sounds like one of the easiest things in the world...turns out it is actually pretty difficult. It is why I am starting with a commitment to just five minutes. I think in the past I have worked my way up to maybe 15, but it definitely takes work to just sit there and be. I like to use the app Insight Timer. I usually just use the timer in the app with one of its music options (so not ready for meditation without music), or I do a guided meditation. I find guided meditations really help me when I am struggling to stay focused.

 

I use the Balance app and there's this awesome guy with this soothing voice. I like listening to his voice. But sitting still is still very, very, hard. SO HARD Y'ALL. 

 

I'M GONNA WORK REALLY HARD TO RELAX AND SIT STILL!  MAN I AM KILLING IT

an example of my face while I meditate. Notice the "softened eyes" 🤣

 

Well, today I made my bed, and I did a proper job, and not one of those fling the covers around and hope the bed gets covered.  Journaling was...less than fun. Lots of worrying. Tomorrow I get a root canal retreated, which will feel a lot better once the infection is cleaned out. Because it's a tooth that has already had a root canal, it doesn't hurt, it just has an odd feeling of pressure there. It should be a pretty easy process. I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT THOUGH. But I don't have to be. My brother got a root canal by this guy, and he said "It's really nice, and you can listen to music!" and I really hate listening to music during dental work. This is the time I meditate best. I focus on my breathing, relaxing my tense muscles, and clearing my mind. Also, I can listen for anything alarming like "This is stubborn,errrg or "Well, it looks like we'll have to chop off her head"

 

I mean, I could listen to music. What is good dental work music? What would you want to listen to? Something soft and soothing or loud and distracting? I think an audio book would be really nice, but maybe hard to concentrate on.  hmmm hmmmm I'm interested in what y'all would choose to listen to!

 

 

 

 

[deftona]

4 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

What is good dental work music?

 

I mean, I'd probably listen to the Dentist Song from Little Shop of Horrors but that's just me

 

I think an album from a band you really like but you haven't heard yet, but imagine you've been commissioned to review the album so you have to listen really closely. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

5 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I mean, I'd probably listen to the Dentist Song from Little Shop of Horrors but that's just me

When I first saw that I had gone through a lot of dental work (I knocked out a big tooth when I was 8 ) and I fled the room in tears. I watch it now, and I get the joke, but there's a part of me that will always kinda hate Steve Martin a little bit. 

5 hours ago, deftona said:

 

I think an album from a band you really like but you haven't heard yet, but imagine you've been commissioned to review the album so you have to listen really closely. 

OOOOOOOH that's a really good idea. 

[Terah]

On 9/14/2020 at 4:25 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I'm totally here for them if they need me, but they are not my responsibility, and I'm seeing the difference now.

Yes!!!!! ❤️

 

On 9/14/2020 at 4:25 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I find meditation to be incredibly awkward still. I'm hoping it gets less awkward. I mean, meditators, does it get less weird feeling?

I've never found it awkward. But it's pretty much my default state 😛 Whenever my head gets full I start staring through a window if I have chance, clearing my mind. I love guided meditations (the honest guys are really good on youtube). Have you tried those? 

 

On 9/14/2020 at 11:49 AM, Chris Tarly said:

JUST FUCKING SIT STILL

There is such a thing as walking meditation...  

 

10 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Tomorrow I get a root canal retreated

Good luck ❤️ 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Well, the infection is cleaned out, and it was a little nasty and stinky. I'm on a lot of painkillers, steroids, and antibiotics, and I'm surprised my face hurts right now. I was also surprised that I had such a strong emotional reaction to this procedure too. My hands shook as I filled out my paperwork and my handwriting was difficult to read in places. I ended up not listening to music, but meditating and looking at the trees out the window. The endodontist was really nice, reassuring, and did an amazing job. He used so much novacain up to my eyebrow was numb, so I didn't feel anything while he worked. It's just difficult for me, and I'm sure anyone else who would have to deal with that kind of procedure. But it went really well. I'm fine with that. Also, ice cream helps aches both physical and psychological. 

 

I'm hoping I feel good tomorrow because the plan is Mom and I will go hiking and then buy some mums to put in the flower beds. If I don't feel good, the plan is Mom buys mums, and I eat soft foods and sit on the front porch enjoying the cool weather. I'll make some iced tea. 

 

I have stared at this screen for 20 minutes. I may have been sleeping. It's time for bed fer reals. Goodnight everyone. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Leigh]

I nominate frozen gummy candy as my favourite sensory food. And I highly recommend mashed potatoes and those squeeze packs of fruit based baby foods for post dental work snacks. Requires no chewing or even a need to open your jaw at all if your face feels like crap. It worked really well for me after getting a wisdom tooth yanked.

 

Also, I can't meditate at all. I just fall asleep 🤷‍♀️

[deftona]

Well done getting through it! If you can get through that you can get through anything  

[Terah]

Glad that procedure is over, and I hope everything will heal soon.

I recommend Netflix and ice cream to feel better ❤️ 

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

7 hours ago, Leigh said:

I nominate frozen gummy candy as my favourite sensory food. And I highly recommend mashed potatoes and those squeeze packs of fruit based baby foods for post dental work snacks. Requires no chewing or even a need to open your jaw at all if your face feels like crap. It worked really well for me after getting a wisdom tooth yanked.

oh frozen gummy candy is delicious! 

 

The problem I had yesterday was that my face was so numb, anything remotely liquid just fell out of my mouth. I ended up eating soft mac and cheese and bananas  Even ice cream just wanted to slip right out. I've never experienced that level of numbness. My mum said she did once because the tooth was so close to the sinuses that the novocaine got into the sinuses and just numbed up the works. SO WEIRD, LEIGH. 

 

But with full control over my face, I think I'll try your suggestion today.

7 hours ago, Leigh said:

 

Also, I can't meditate at all. I just fall asleep 🤷‍♀️

Yes! it's like there's no in between! Like "I need to relax and calm my mind. Ooh it's workizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

4 hours ago, deftona said:

Well done getting through it! If you can get through that you can get through anything  

Very true. I will tell you what though, I am significantly reducing sugar in my diet. Forget weight loss, I am never want to have dental work done again. 

 

2 hours ago, Terah said:

Glad that procedure is over, and I hope everything will heal soon.

I recommend Netflix and ice cream to feel better ❤️ 

 

What are you watching on Netflix? I'm looking for something new. We're watching Worst Bakers on Hulu and it's so much fun. I thought it would be unpleasant, but Duff Goldman and Lorraine Pascal are the mentors and they are so great at saying "Oh this is terrible" but also being really nice and encouraging. You can see the contestants go from being goofy and silly as a defense mechanism to really working hard and learning. They're not terrible bakers, really. They just never had anyone teach them how to bake. I felt so emotional when a contestant made a delicious cake. I'm tearing up right now. It's so silly

 

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Just a quick update. My mouth is still a little sore, but I feel better. the numbing stuff has all worn off and I can move my face!   I think I can go for a hike today once the painkillers kick in. Or maybe I'll take a nap with the windows open!  Either way, I hope you have an amazing day!

 

[Terah]

55 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

What are you watching on Netflix?

I can highly recommend lucifer.

If you're more in the mood for something really silly try "Legends of tomorrow". And have you watched "once upon a time"? That one is real cute  

Queer eye if you're more into reality shows. And off course "the big bang theory" which is just hilarious  

I'm not really one for baking shows though 🤷‍♂️

[Snarkyfishguts]

5 hours ago, Terah said:

I can highly recommend lucifer.

If you're more in the mood for something really silly try "Legends of tomorrow". And have you watched "once upon a time"? That one is real cute  

Queer eye if you're more into reality shows. And off course "the big bang theory" which is just hilarious  

I'm not really one for baking shows though 🤷‍♂️

I’ve watched Legends, its so good. I still have to waych season 5 of Lucifer. Its so much fun!
i watched once upon a time until they did the horrible Frozen arc, and I was like...I just cant take this anymore. 
Baking shows are not for everyone. I love them ❤️

[Snarkyfishguts]

I took another day off from the challenge to sleep. I woke up feeling so much better, so I'm off the heavy painkillers and back to normal aspirin. It's been a hard week over here.  a couple of women we know passed away. They were well into their 90's but it's still sad. the one especially was a really great friend and we're going to miss her. The other was a distant relative who used to sing badly in church and shake her fist at a small man who quietly went into laughing fits during her solos. There are viewings tomorrow but we're not attending because the steroids I'm taking make me susceptible to illness, and Dad is terrified we'll get Covid and become seriously ill with lasting damage. 

 

Then Dad is projecting a lot of thoughts and feelings about his blindness onto us, and it's like "no one thinks that" and NO one thinks those things. He thinks we wishes he was dead. It's just really sad. I think he knows now we don't think that. Listening and dealing with all that in addition to "the nerve is dead, why does my mouth hurt so damn much?" pain knocked me out today, and now I'm going to spend the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself and just wallowing in that for a bit. Tomorrow I'll wake up and pick up my challenge goals 

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

4 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I think he knows now we don't think that.

One way to approach him when he's projecting like that is to guess that he's really telling you how he feels about himself, he just doesn't know it. 

 

Let's use a silly example to illustrate this.

Let's say he tells you that you think his hair is purple. You know his hair isn't purple. You've never told him you thought his hair was purple. He must be projecting. He's probably worried his hair is purple, and for some reason it's easier for him to talk about it if he fools himself into believing you have the notion about purple hair.

 

Fine, what do you do with the above information?

 

You can tell him, "Dad, I don't think your hair is purple, but are you worried your hair is purple?" 

 

In other words, it's possible when he said everyone wishes he was dead that maybe he wishes he was dead. Even if it's not that severe, he was probably feeling like he was a burden.

 

 

[deftona]

I'm sorry about the friends you've lost. I very much love the lady who shook her fist at the people in church, she sounds like she was a character. 

 

It must be really tough hearing your dad talk about himself like that and I agree with Tank as to the reason why he's doing this. I also think it's a "safe" way to check how you feel about him. Feel sorry for yourself today and know I also feel sorry for you, but not in a pity way, in a solidarity - DENTAL PAIN IS BULLCRAP kinda way ❤️ 

[Terah]

I'm sorry life is so hard at the moment ❤️ 

[Snarkyfishguts]

8 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

In other words, it's possible when he said everyone wishes he was dead that maybe he wishes he was dead. Even if it's not that severe, he was probably feeling like he was a burden.

 

Thank you! Its good advice. We do address his thoughts and feelings every time this comes up. But is it still excellent advice, and a good reminder. Thanks, my friend. You have a good heart, 

 

5 hours ago, deftona said:

I'm sorry about the friends you've lost. I very much love the lady who shook her fist at the people in church, she sounds like she was a character. 

She liked to corner people and talk about her aches and pains. I remember sitting in a park bench With her When I was 12 and her white hair in the breeze seemed regal to me. She talked about getting older, and I said, “i’m sorry you don’t feel well, but I think you look beautiful”  She thanked me and we sat in quiet for a while and she said “you shoulve seen me when I was young,” and I kinda just knew then that she wasnt going to really see herself the way I did, so we sat quietly. 

5 hours ago, deftona said:

It must be really tough hearing your dad talk about himself like that and I agree with Tank as to the reason why he's doing this. I also think it's a "safe" way to check how you feel about him. Feel sorry for yourself today and know I also feel sorry for you, but not in a pity way, in a solidarity - DENTAL PAIN IS BULLCRAP kinda way ❤️ 

It’s really hard to face the people you love and say “i feel broken. Do you still love me when I’m feeling so broken?”  He’s been avoding confronting his Blindness for so long, but now he cant, and the hard work is beginning.
 

Dental pain is total bull crap. Thankfully is it so much better today! 
 

27 minutes ago, Terah said:

I'm sorry life is so hard at the moment ❤️ 

Thank you!