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LostValkyrie19

Valk's Mind Valhalla

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Hi guys, this will be my third challenge. It has been a while!! I fell of my routine pretty hard a little before Covid and since then my life has been kind of in a rut. I know everyone's mental health is probably at an all time low with the current state of the world, and it is no different for me. 

When I first joined with Nerd Fitness I was at my highest weight ever, 270. I decided to make a change and right now I am 212. 

 

I had just started to get my health on track and then finally got to a doctor (insurance woot). The doctor I was with wanted me get on some medication for weightless. I was hesitant, but thought ok we can try it out. So, I got on that and it went fine for a little while, the last month that I was on it I has bad insomnia. I could not sleep at all. I was irritable, under a lot of work stress, and was miserable. I gained about 15lbs back while on the meds and my binge habit got worse. I had a binge issue in the past, I thought I was over it. So, that happened, I went into a depression spiral and basically shut down. 

 

This week I am getting back to it. I have been able to get up 2 days so far this week and actually exercise before work. It was a really good moment for me. 

 

Sooooo.....
 

My goals for this challenge: 
 

  • Exercise at least 3 times a week (Get it in! Don't push too hard all at once)  
     
  • Reduce/measure the amount of coffee creamer i am using
     
  • Get more veggies into my meals
     

Level up life - Work on binge eating/cbt, maybe get a real therapist about this and depression

 

I want to check in at least once a week. 


 

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28 minutes ago, LostValkyrie19 said:

This week I am getting back to it. I have been able to get up 2 days so far this week and actually exercise before work. It was a really good moment for me. 

 

That would be a really good moment for anyone!

 

This pandemic is a mental health pandemic as much as anything else. I was in a virtual social event with some colleagues last week, and we spent some time discussing that none of us really are okay. In fact, the point was made that a person who genuinely has been completely okay through the entire pandemic, is probably a person we should be seriously concerned about. ;) 

 

(Above does not apply to people who have adjusted and gradually become okay compared to where they started out six months ago. We are a resilient and adaptable species.)

 

Speaking from personal experience, therapy is like any other medical treatment in that if it's used properly, it can make a huge difference. It only helps if the patient is willing to honestly work at it though. If a person is not ready to do that, my personal opinion is that they should work to get to that point, before starting therapy.

 

Welcome back!

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Yeah! It is a great feeling, getting back up and going forward. 

 

I want to get myself back on track mentally. I am hoping that I am able to work through some cognitive behavioral guides on my own, and then if needed seek outside help. 

 

I agree with your statement - I am ready for this change and am going to do everything I can to make it work. 

1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

Speaking from personal experience, therapy is like any other medical treatment in that if it's used properly, it can make a huge difference. It only helps if the patient is willing to honestly work at it though. If a person is not ready to do that, my personal opinion is that they should work to get to that point, before starting therapy.

 

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OK - Update 1

 

 

 

My goals for this challenge: 
 

  • Exercise at least 3 times a week (Get it in! Don't push too hard all at once)  
    I was able to get it done 4 times this week (mon-thur, mon and wed - bodyweight, tue and thurs - yoga). It was my first week back in the office at work and I was just exhausted on Friday, so I took the morning to just relax a little. I was able to get a daily walk in and  I feel pretty good about my progress. 
     
  • Reduce/measure the amount of coffee creamer i am using
    I was able to limit this for myself by pouring my creamer in a stainless steel tervis and only bringing that to work. I think this is going to help a lot, no more free pours!!
     
  • Get more veggies into my meals 
    This I struggled on a bit, my husband closed more days than he was supposed to, so I didn't make proper meals. 
     
  • Work on binge eating/cbt, maybe get a real therapist about this and depression
    I am working through a book, "Overcoming Binge Eating, Second Edition: The Proven Program to Learn Why You Binge and How You Can Stop," I am on page 70 in section one and just learning about what binges are. The book is written really well. 
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3 hours ago, LostValkyrie19 said:

Reduce/measure the amount of coffee creamer i am using
I was able to limit this for myself by pouring my creamer in a stainless steel tervis and only bringing that to work. I think this is going to help a lot, no more free pours!!

 

Creative problem solving if I ever saw it. I hope it works out long-term for you. 

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3 hours ago, LostValkyrie19 said:

I was able to get it done 4 times this week (mon-thur, mon and wed - bodyweight, tue and thurs - yoga). It was my first week back in the office at work and I was just exhausted on Friday, so I took the morning to just relax a little. I was able to get a daily walk in and  I feel pretty good about my progress. 

 

Great job getting in those workouts! Following. :) 

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Update for last week - 9/21 - 9/27

 

Exercise at least 3 times a week: 
I was able to get 3 days in, but I feel like I was more productive in the morning. 
I had recently switched from mornings to after work. 
I just started going back to the office and though that if I did my exercises in the afternoon, I could sleep in a little more, have some structured time and not be drawn to snacking, and could get more into it. I was wrong. It seems like something always throws a curveball in my afternoons (husband gets home early, have to go to rental office about something, really stressful day at work), so I am not getting to it like I want to. It seems like there is too much to accomplish in the afternoon. 

I am going back to my get up and get to it routine. It was working. This morning I got up, did yoga, got breakfast, and had a me moment before having to leave for work. 

 
Reduce/measure the amount of coffee creamer i am using

I am doing alright here, have been measuring it into my cup and only bringing that much to work. It doesn't seem like enough still, so I have been padding it with some almond milk. 

It was really hard to give up sugar, but I just don't know if I can do it black. Maybe a smaller cup. Need to think about some ideas here. 


Get more veggies into my meals

Failed on this front again. But this week I am doing pretty good so far, broccoli and some greens with dinners and lunches. 


Binge book 

I didn't get to read any of this last week, it was a busy week. But, I was able to reflect and think back to the items I had already read and keep it in my mind. 


Meditate

I think I forgot to add this to my challenge, but I really want to start on this. I was able to meditate a couple of times last week and I think I found the perfect time to get a few mini sessions in - right after work while waiting for my husband to get home. I have been going into the room, away from sound and cats and just relaxing against the closet wall. A mini meditation cave. 


Overall I am happy with how things are going and I have been feeling a lot more upbeat, the exercise and self reflection are really making me feel better. And October is almost here! Very excited for the season and focus on me. 

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1 hour ago, LostValkyrie19 said:

Need to think about some ideas here. 

My goto is oat milk. It tastes ten times better than almond milk when combined with coffee. Also I add a drop of vanilla extract to make it taste extra fancy :D

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18 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

Oat milk is good for cooking too. :) 

Try to make pancakes with it. They will be the best you'll ever have! :D

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3 minutes ago, Terah said:

Try to make pancakes with it. They will be the best you'll ever have! :D

 

Disagree. I have tried, and lactose free milk with a few percent milk fats in it, is still the best for pancakes ;) 

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8 hours ago, LostValkyrie19 said:

Update for last week - 9/21 - 9/27

 

Exercise at least 3 times a week: 
I was able to get 3 days in, but I feel like I was more productive in the morning. 
I had recently switched from mornings to after work. 
I just started going back to the office and though that if I did my exercises in the afternoon, I could sleep in a little more, have some structured time and not be drawn to snacking, and could get more into it. I was wrong. It seems like something always throws a curveball in my afternoons (husband gets home early, have to go to rental office about something, really stressful day at work), so I am not getting to it like I want to. It seems like there is too much to accomplish in the afternoon. 

I am going back to my get up and get to it routine. It was working. This morning I got up, did yoga, got breakfast, and had a me moment before having to leave for work. 

 
Reduce/measure the amount of coffee creamer i am using

I am doing alright here, have been measuring it into my cup and only bringing that much to work. It doesn't seem like enough still, so I have been padding it with some almond milk. 

It was really hard to give up sugar, but I just don't know if I can do it black. Maybe a smaller cup. Need to think about some ideas here. 


Get more veggies into my meals

Failed on this front again. But this week I am doing pretty good so far, broccoli and some greens with dinners and lunches. 


Binge book 

I didn't get to read any of this last week, it was a busy week. But, I was able to reflect and think back to the items I had already read and keep it in my mind. 


Meditate

I think I forgot to add this to my challenge, but I really want to start on this. I was able to meditate a couple of times last week and I think I found the perfect time to get a few mini sessions in - right after work while waiting for my husband to get home. I have been going into the room, away from sound and cats and just relaxing against the closet wall. A mini meditation cave. 


Overall I am happy with how things are going and I have been feeling a lot more upbeat, the exercise and self reflection are really making me feel better. And October is almost here! Very excited for the season and focus on me. 

 

Doing good!

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Update for last week - 9/28 - 10/04

 

Pre-update vent - tldr: work sucked

Spoiler

This week at work was ridiculous. I had to come back into the office twice this week after hours, for the same project, because with out making modifications to the document the product wouldn't ship. So I came in after work on Wednesday and stayed about 40 minutes making changes, because it needed to be final for production and to get it to the warehouse. Cool, got it done. The sad thing is, this project had already been approved and given the final go ahead. So, I closed my documentation task for it. Someone started making comments and request changes on the closed project, which doesn't send out emails. Why would anyone ever check on a closed project??? 


Friday came around and my supervisor said I could duck out like 15 minutes early because I had come in late. So I drove home, got my husband, and we were about to start our grocery shopping, when I get a call. They need me back, to work on the same document, to add one note that should have of been obvious. So I came back to the office, husband in tote, to make the change, waiting for 30 minutes for direction. 


I am so glad that I had to come in late Wednesday and make changes that had to be done for production, when apparently we didn't send it out until the weekend... 

 

I tried oatmilk and have been using it in my overnight oats and protein shakes. Next is coffee!! 

 

Exercise at least 3 times a week: 

I was able to get 3 days in this week, but I am not sure they were all quality sessions.  Switching from attempting afternoons back to morning kind of threw a wrench in my sleep and work pattern. I only went on 2 walks after work because of rain and feeling exhausted from work. 

 
Reduce/measure coffee creamer 
I switches to tea in the morning for a few days, but then went back to coffee and fell off the wagon. My sleep and work schedule were so jacked up this week about half way through I just didn't want to worry about it. 


Get more veggies into my meals
I was pretty good about this! Actually a win for me here. We did a breakfast for dinner night, made a bag of frozen veggies and had them mixed into an omelet, saved the other half of the bag for the next day and mixed it into my soup. 
I bought a bag of greens to start mixing in with food for this week and a few more frozen veggie bags to add to my meals. Padding the meal with the extra veggies is really helping me feel full. Also - who knew that butternut squash was delicious??


Binge book 
I read through this book until I hit the 2nd half, the self help and guided cbt section (stopped on page 145). I started to work through the first section and and going to be working through this for a while - at least the week for step 1. I have really high hopes and am giving it my all. 
The first week is basically filling out a chart each day as you. 
What time, what did you eat/drink, where, was it a binge, did you purge, comments

I have been using myfitnesspal to track calories, but writing it all out in the chart is actually different, it helps me realize exactly what I ate and other details about and why. A more in-depth logging. 

Meditate

I only meditated once this week. My mind was a mess. 

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17 hours ago, LostValkyrie19 said:

I tried oatmilk and have been using it in my overnight oats and protein shakes

Did you like it?

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On 10/5/2020 at 7:58 AM, LostValkyrie19 said:

 

Pre-update vent - tldr: work sucked

 

I totally feel you on the sucky work situation. Hopefully it will ease up this week. *hugs* 

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Update - 

 

Exercise at least 3 times a week: 
I got this done, it was mostly yoga and walking this week. I want to squeeze in some body weight exercises in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I missed it this morning, I had a doctor visit, but looking forward to Thursday. 


 
Reduce/measure coffee creamer 
This got weird this week. I gave up coffee a few days and tried cold brew, I like it hot too much. So, I also tried oatmilk, but it had a weird almost chalky flavor. It might have of been the brand I tried, silk the 0 zero sugar one. 

Anyway, just trying to pre-measure the creamer and only bring that to work. 


Get more veggies into my meals
I have been good about this. I batch cooked some veggies over the weekend and have them ready to just add to whatever I am eating. Making an omelet? Throw some in! Making a salad, toss some in. This is going really well. 


Binge book 
I just started the week 2 exercises. I did well with week one and am starting to notice some patterns. I tracked all week and now trying to introduce "normal eating" into my day. It is basically scheduled meals at pre set times, this lets me know when I will be eating and with snacks in the middle of meals, it should help keep down my hunger. This is day 2, so we shall see. 

 

Meditate
Skipped that last week. I was able to get 2 sessions in so far this week, so I am making some headway here. 

 

Annoying health stuff/doctor/mental crap here - tldr: I don't know what I am doing anymore, confused. 

Spoiler

I had a doctor visit today - cardiologist. My normal doctor said that my cholesterol was a little high and wanted me to get checked out, so they referred me to a cardiologist. 

My ekg was good, he said he wasn't as worried that much but I was in a double edged sword situation with my weight loss and cholesterol. 

Focusing on one would make the other raise. 

  • for weight loss - eat fats to feel satiated, can cause higher cholesterol
  • for choletestor - eat no fats and more carbs/protein, can cause weight gain

He wants me to focus on weight loss and recommended keto. 


I am so confused about everything here. 

I am trying not to do "diets" like keto, because I am honestly trying to learn how to just eat healthy and I am afraid once I do that, when I stop I will go back to my habits and not how to eat/what is healthy. 

 

He also recommended fasting, which I have heard a lot of good things about, but the way he suggested it didn't seem right. He said he would have his protein shake with almond milk at breakfast and be good all day until dinner. There is no way that I can do that. I know intermittent fasting is limiting the hours in the day, like only from 12 to 8, but his suggestions just seemed out there. 
 

So now I don't know what to do. Do I listen to him, the binge book, a little of both, or  what...I am so confused and just kind of feel like a failure right now. 


 

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About what you put in the spoiler:

 

Spoiler

You are not a failure. You're facing a difficult situation, and I'm guessing you probably also feel a bit overwhelmed? That's okay. That's normal in your situation, and it's also completely normal to be confused. It's also okay to just let yourself be confused for a while. In fact, allowing yourself to just react for a while might make it easier to move on towards Phase 2, when you need to start making decisions.

 

When you do start making decisions, make sure that whatever course of action you decide on will work for your life style.

 

And, with all due respect to your doctor, perhaps talk to a nutritionist about cholesterol-healthy foods? The statement "for weight loss - eat fats to feel satiated, can cause higher cholesterol" is technically accurate, but it is very incomplete. Eating fats is far from the only thing that can cause high cholesterol, for one, and eating primarily protein won't by itself make you gain weight. Eating too much protein for your body and lifestyle, will. It's not nearly as easy and clear-cut as what it seems your doctor made it sound like

 

Bottom line: You don't have to make any decisions today. Take a few deep breaths until you feel a bit less overwhelmed, and then start to think about what you want your end goal to be and what you are willing to do and/or sacrifice to get there, and stay there. You've got this.

 

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Agree with Scaly Freak, take a breath, then think on it a bit and do some research and see what you can do. You got this. :) Also, you're doing great on your challenge, nice job. :) 

 

 

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Scaly Freak - Yeah, I feel very overwhelmed. Thank you for reading through this and offering some advice. Per your comment about the nutritionist, I feel like that would really help. I can learn and work toward what I need to through them. 

 

Jupiter - thank you ❤️ 

 

Need to just let myself be for a little while. 

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