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Maggie: *elevator music*


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 Heyoo good evening hello hi i am 24 now :3

 

and have a very wigglysquirmy brain which refuses more and more to cooperate more often than not. i feel i've a limited number of braincells to work with in a given day and sometimes something as simple as watching (actually watching and paying attention to) a movie can take up the entire daily allotment.

 

 

actual footage of the inside of my head
anyway

 

not doing a Challenge so much as a "I made an effort today!" checkbox. like putting stickers in my plannerbook.

stuff i really do have to do:

 

schoolwork - i procrastinate on getting to assignments because i often feel very stupid and as if i've forgotten how to read. fully just stare at the page without comprehending a thing no matter how simple the language. when i force myself to push through it, i get an A (i have all A's so far. they almost gave me a B on my first writing assignment, but i noticed some incorrect things in the instructor feedback and got brave enough to email them about it, and i had an A  after all :3) it's just a matter of actually doing it.

 

stuff it would really help to do:

  • exercise
  • drink water/eat good food (ive been. forgetful about this)
  • go to sleep at a normal hour and stop sporadically staying up until 3:30am a few times a week
  • avoid sugar and caffeine as much as possible (not today bc it is my birthday and i am going to have cookies and chocolate almond milk >:3 )
  • practice my instruments
  • do puzzles (can't make things worse)
  • practice language lessons and math exercises
  • read! books!
  • stay on top of household tasks
  • on that note, don't leave tasks unfinished.
  • i'd like to try something new every week, too. whether that's a new food or new Anything really.
  • prep my writing for NaNoWriMo. i have an actual Book outlined and i want to have it ready by the christmas for momsauce's present.

 

and yeah, so, in other news,  my church is meeting in person again (with restrictions in place) and i'm signed up to be on the Broadcast Team and learn how to do robotic cameras and lighting and audio and such, so that's neat. i've finished sewing a quilt top and have made some drawings, and have been just over one month since last self-harming, via one method anyway. i think that's it :3 here's the quilt top :3

 

Spoiler

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On 9/20/2020 at 3:07 PM, Salinger said:

MIA MIA MIA MIA :)

 

Happy you are here! 

 

So proud for your self harm free month ❤️ xx

On 9/21/2020 at 7:18 PM, SkyGirl said:

Hi Miau!!! So glad to see you and I'm here to follow your lovely gold-star challenge!

On 9/22/2020 at 7:26 AM, Salinger said:

How you doing this week Mia?Xx

 

Heyoo, both! It's lovely to see you ❤️ ❤️

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off to a bit of a slow start. internet connection has been particularly spotty, and i forgot to mention in the first post that something else that's on right now is the return of my Special Headaches. They sometimes throw a bit of a wrench into the plans for any given day, and have done a fine job of doing just that for the past couple of days :lol:  Just picked up some extra strength tablets to try to see if those will help so, Hopefully that'll do something. :3 

 

in other news, here's a drawing:

Spoiler

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( Grinpayne from the musical The Grinning Man.  his face is bandaged due to an unfortunate run-in with a very bad person when he was like 7 years old but dw the red on the bandage is Mostly stage makeup as part of the show that he performs in. )

 

and cats!

 

Spoiler

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cat norrell just sometimes looks like he wants to listen to everybody's problems and offer really kind and patient advice or something
cat chelly always looks like he's Seen Things

 

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unnecessary update: the extra-strength tablets so far seem to work well enough to put the headache allllllmost on Mute. it's still There but it's muffled and i can almost forget about it most of the time. so that's a win!


yesterday was a touch interrupted by another spell of feeling quite unable to think, which turned into feeling stupid and generally hating myself a lot. all attempts to get myself out of it just made it worse, because it would be like, "I'll assign myself a task and then feel good about getting the task done" except, couldn't then think through and understand how to do any of the tasks i tried assigning myself, hence feeling stupider. gotta work on that. i did, however, avoid the urge to just sleep all day as a result. stayed up until bedtime. made fried rice and garlic bok choy at some point. rewatched the broadway version of Amelie and this time actually understood most of the words that were being said (the first time around might as well have been in another language for all i was able to follow...which i guess made for an experience more authentic to if i'd watched the movie :lol: ) i think i did laundry?

 

today is okay and feeling more like i can probably actually do something, provided it's broken into small bits. i'll have the house entirely to myself for a time as grandad and broski are going fishing, so that makes it a great time for some cleaning. :3

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1 hour ago, Salinger said:

Hey Mia, how are you ? Hows your weekend been?xx

 

Pretty good! Friday i did some cleaning and had a nice bath :3

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Today was Sunday and it was my first day on the Broadcast Team! It went very well! Everyone on the team is friendly and helpful, and they made it easy to learn what to do, so that was fun. Headaches are still being problematic. I'm not sure what to do for tomorrow's Jobs, except of course to get at least a reading assignment done for school, but will make it today's job to get that decided before bed.

 

Also, utterly irrelevant but i had a dream the other night where i was attempting to clean the stove, only to keep making it worse, and eventually figured out that the reason the mess was getting worse was because i was using not spray cleaner, but spray paint :lol: 

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On 9/27/2020 at 4:51 PM, Maggie-Miau said:

 

Pretty good! Friday i did some cleaning and had a nice bath :3

-----------------------------

 

Today was Sunday and it was my first day on the Broadcast Team! It went very well! Everyone on the team is friendly and helpful, and they made it easy to learn what to do, so that was fun. Headaches are still being problematic. I'm not sure what to do for tomorrow's Jobs, except of course to get at least a reading assignment done for school, but will make it today's job to get that decided before bed.

 

Also, utterly irrelevant but i had a dream the other night where i was attempting to clean the stove, only to keep making it worse, and eventually figured out that the reason the mess was getting worse was because i was using not spray cleaner, but spray paint :lol: 

 

at least it was just a dream 😂 also I read skygirl's comment too quick and thought it said "scrub a stove with spaghetti" and got the best mental image ever. 

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On 9/27/2020 at 10:20 PM, Salinger said:

That dream is frustrating hahah funny though!! 

 

Hope you are able to rest tonight :) xx

22 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Agreeing with Sal, I laughed out loud at the thought of trying to scrub a stove with spraypaint!!  :D

 

Sending hugs and love for the headaches!!

22 hours ago, spezzy said:

at least it was just a dream 😂 also I read skygirl's comment too quick and thought it said "scrub a stove with spaghetti" and got the best mental image ever. 

 

:lol: i definitely had a good chuckle on waking up, like, "of course i would dream something like that" followed shortly by "and i would totally do something like that, too"   sfhdsfjshjk spaghetti would be even worse than the spraypaint tho XD

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TODAY: i have not done much at all due to feeling genuinely Not Good At All thanks to the Headache™️ which is not just a headache but also a head-full-of-stuffing-and-tingles and making feel weak and trembly all over. That last partly being because i've not really eaten enough today (or yesterday) but that's also due to feeling too queasy to want any food. I'll have to put something together for a reasonable dinner.

 

tomorrow is Grocery Day, and i have the order all ready to go. i'll be getting some nice bits like celery and hummus and avocados.

 

in other news, cats Norrell and Chellers have been introduced to the concept of not having to go in their kennel at night and just being free to roam the house as they choose while the humans sleep. last night was only their second time to do so, and they both decided to come up on my bed and stay with me all night :3 Cat Norrell slept at the end of the bed, and Cat Chelly slept right up next to my pillow. i was very happy with that development :3

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*lays on floor* good afternoon hi hello it's the last day of September woohoo tomorrow's October 👻

 

so far i've not done anything today except place the order for groceries. this fortnight's order has gone interestingly according to the email about substitutions and unavailables. apparently they were out of a bunch of stuff, so there's like eight or so things that will need to be picked up later. i feel like i've not done a good job on grocery orders lately u-u but i think it's actually fine.

 

not to keep going on about it, but i've found another descriptor for the headache. naturally can't find a gif for it at the moment but it's that scene in Gone With the Wind where Rhett grabs Scarlet's head and threatens to crush her skull. so now the headache's name is Clark. :lol:🏳️   

 

anyway, it's already 2pm but today's job, which i should really get started on, is to get my room straightened up. I'd like to get all set up to make a really good first day of October. :3
edit: cleaned room :3 it's not perfect but it's Better :3

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13 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Mia...how are you feeling today? October the 1st!!

 

Hope your head clears up, have you been to a doctor about it?xx

 

It's been better today! Dialed back from how it's been ^_^ yeeeeee October! I love first days of months and weeks and years :3 Here's wishing you a good October :D

 

Due to a lack of insurance, doctors aren't really an option unless it escalates to a very definite emergency situation. I could theoretically go to an Urgent Care, but that would also be something of a last resort since it would be Expensive.

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TODAY: 🍁🍂 first day of October! :D as mentioned above, headache hasn't been quite So Much today. It's in the behind-the-ears region and subdued enough that i can just about forget about it when sufficiently absorbed in a task. Actual doing of tasks has been a bit scattered and hit-or-miss, but i have done a workout (yay!), done some stretching, mealprepped for momsauce, done some laundry...i've been reading through my school assignments. Practical English at the moment, which just talked about Creative Writing. The Exam's going to  want me to write a Complaint Letter and a three-paragraph little essay thing. I've also started to get my Scrivener doc set up for NaNoWriMo (i cannot. believe. it's almost November. this has been the longest shortest year)

 

moodwise a bit up and down, keep slipping into the kind of nervous "i'm a useless waste of sentience" feels. Had a dream the other night in which momsauce said i'm a disappointment, don't know if that's more Cause or Effect for the Feels but tbh it's probably a bit of both.  anyway, aside from that recurring 😐 i'm actually really looking forward to Sunday and getting to work with the cameras again! it's just a volunteer thing and not an actual job, but i liked it a lot. Also might get to go by the library sometime this week or next and pick up a couple of books :D i want to re-read one of my old favorites, having recently found out it was actually the first in a series. oh! Also! The weather is now definitely turning cooler, not quite crispy autumn yet but getting there! Autumn is my favorite time of year and i'm !!!! :lol: people have been posting about Halloween since September and prior and, even though i don't observe it, i'm finding it all weirdly charming this time around ❤️

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Hey Mia, i just can not fathom how it must be to not be able to go to the doctors because of the cost. Thank god for the NHS, here. 

 

Sending healing vibes to your poor head ❤️

 

Oooooh excited to see what you write in November!! xx

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18 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

 

It's been better today! Dialed back from how it's been ^_^ yeeeeee October! I love first days of months and weeks and years :3 Here's wishing you a good October :D

 

Due to a lack of insurance, doctors aren't really an option unless it escalates to a very definite emergency situation. I could theoretically go to an Urgent Care, but that would also be something of a last resort since it would be Expensive.

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TODAY: 🍁🍂 first day of October! :D as mentioned above, headache hasn't been quite So Much today. It's in the behind-the-ears region and subdued enough that i can just about forget about it when sufficiently absorbed in a task. Actual doing of tasks has been a bit scattered and hit-or-miss, but i have done a workout (yay!), done some stretching, mealprepped for momsauce, done some laundry...i've been reading through my school assignments. Practical English at the moment, which just talked about Creative Writing. The Exam's going to  want me to write a Complaint Letter and a three-paragraph little essay thing. I've also started to get my Scrivener doc set up for NaNoWriMo (i cannot. believe. it's almost November. this has been the longest shortest year)

 

moodwise a bit up and down, keep slipping into the kind of nervous "i'm a useless waste of sentience" feels. Had a dream the other night in which momsauce said i'm a disappointment, don't know if that's more Cause or Effect for the Feels but tbh it's probably a bit of both.  anyway, aside from that recurring 😐 i'm actually really looking forward to Sunday and getting to work with the cameras again! it's just a volunteer thing and not an actual job, but i liked it a lot. Also might get to go by the library sometime this week or next and pick up a couple of books :D i want to re-read one of my old favorites, having recently found out it was actually the first in a series. oh! Also! The weather is now definitely turning cooler, not quite crispy autumn yet but getting there! Autumn is my favorite time of year and i'm !!!! :lol: people have been posting about Halloween since September and prior and, even though i don't observe it, i'm finding it all weirdly charming this time around ❤️

Im furchtloser Bach at NaNoWriMo if you want to get together!!!!! :)

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On 10/2/2020 at 11:53 AM, fearless 2.0 said:

Im furchtloser Bach at NaNoWriMo if you want to get together!!!!!

 

oh yes, thanks! i'm majorxwriteyxboy on the nanowrimo site^_^ 

 

On 10/5/2020 at 12:12 AM, Salinger said:

Hey Mia, how are you ? xx

 

Much better these past couple of days! :D

On 10/6/2020 at 5:39 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Here late but following.

 

Heyooo! Good to see you :D

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not much going on. Headache has finally really eased off :3 i've only missed one day of exercising so far. not done a whole lot other than try to exercise each day. feeling a bit locked out of Thinks. but i did a bit of school-related stuff today, maths and whatnot. prepped some black bean/chickpea burgers and vegetables. not been keen on eating lately so having stuff pre-cooked is helpful. it's getting time to properly get to work outlining my NaNoWriMo project.

 

On 10/2/2020 at 12:52 AM, Salinger said:

Oooooh excited to see what you write in November!!

 

I'm excited to get started on writing it! It's a slightly canon-divergent written adaptation of the musical The Grinning Man, which itself is a musical adaptation of L'homme Qui Rit, or The Man Who Laughs, by Victor Hugo, and i'm writing it pretty much just bc i know momsauce would love the story but wouldn't enjoy the style of either the musical or the original book. So i'm basically just writing it for my mom, no intent to publish or anything apart from maybe posting it on tumblr or something. (ngl i'll probably work on a couple of other projects as well just so i can procrastinate on one by working on the other :lol: )

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TODAY: ngl Stuff's got me Down but also in that kind of frantic MUST DO ALL THE THINGS way but it's too evening to actually make a start on Doing All The Things so if i'm still !!!!!! in the morning, tomorrow will be an Interesting time. but on a happy note the camera stuff went well again today, though there wasn't much to it this time. also on a happy note, my absentee ballot arrived yesterday  and i'll get to mail it either tomorrow or Tuesday :3 also also, it is nearly Grocery Day and while the fam haven't given me their orders yet, mine's mostly sorted. i'll be doing this meal prep in addition to some salad-y bits. also happier note, i'm trying my best to get to the library this week because i've decided i must read a whole entire book and only this one specific book will do. given how much trouble i have reading lately i wonder if  revisiting some of the books past!me used to blow through might help.

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