DJ Trippy T: I'm an Adult

[DJtrippyT]

Remember when you were a kid - especially when you were around 15-16-ish - and being an adult seemed like something you absolutely could not wait to be? 

 

 

 

Yeah, I know. 

 

Adulthood sounded GREAT. 

 

No testing or homework or grades!

 

Champagne toasts every night!

 

Have an awesome wardrobe!

 

Wear whatever you want -  without getting yelled at by your dad!

 

Eat dessert every day if you want to!

 

Go on exotic vacations!

 

Fuck whoever you feel like!*

 

As it happens, adulthood seems to have become one ongoing ass-chap of petty irritants, like arguing with contractors, being chided about cholesterol, doing your taxes, being forced to watch CNN when you don't want to by well meaning relatives, variable interest rates (never in your favor, either) and other sand in the underpants of my life. 

 

SO BORING. 

 

Where are my privileges? My dream lifestyle? My devoted cadre of friends, willing to jet around the world at a moment's notice? My harem of side bitches, hanging on my every witticism? 

 

Really, why would anyone WANT to be an adult?

 

IT'S TIME TO RECLAIM ADULTHOOD FOR THE FUN PEOPLE 

 

 

I am actually working on my nutrition for this six-week period, which is so boring that I want to drill out my own eyes, so I wasn't going to challenge. But I would miss everybody and I look terrible in a hair shirt, so as an antidote I'm going to do a challenge where I try to embrace all my OTHER vices to distract myself from protein macros and net carbs and other such dull things, as long as said vices don't make me fat.

Fat-er. Whatever. 

 

 

I made a list of all the things that made adulthood seem so alluring to my 15-year-old self, and I will attempt to indulge as many of them as I can without the ATF getting involved. 

 

Here we go!

 

Champagne Toast:

 

I love champagne, more for what it seems to signify than what it is, so I will keep those mini-bottles of champagne in my fridge at all times during the challenge and drink them whenever I feel moved to do so. (But responsibly, of course. I'm an adult, not an idiot.)

 

I don't know why, but drinking an "adult" thing like bourbon has always seemed incredibly sophisticated to me. (Deffy, Tank, and Sloth will now know where this challenge sprang from). I will try one or two types of bourbon per week for the length of the challenge until I find one I like. Or maybe I find out that I don't like bourbon and I decide to never drink it again. That's fine too!

 

 

 

 

Fabulous wardrobe: 

 

 

My job seems to be working out and I did two races in the last three weeks, and after each one I got a bonus, so instead of being "responsible" aka boring, I blew half the bonus money on some new threads and an assload of jewelry, so I get to dress in some nice things. I got a couple of new skirts, new tops, some cool rings, a bunch of makeup (just from the drugstore, nothing fancy) and a set of cashmere socks that were absurdly expensive and impractical but feel amazing on my feets. Oh, and new boots. I'm going to take the time to get dressed in the morning before I get into my office, instead of just going down there in my pajamas and sitting there all day like a slob, which makes me feel awful. 

 

I also dyed my hair super blonde, and I love it and keep pushing it further to white, which is kind of ridiculous but I don't care. 

 

 

 

 

Go on exotic vacations!

 

 

 

I am still hoping to go to the Keys in December to get my diving certification, but if I can't save enough money I might push it to January. Hopefully not. 

 

Fuck whoever you feel like!

 

 

hahahahahaha maybe not this one. I am going to turn 52 exactly at the end of this challenge and I have the sex drive of a houseplant. 

 

I'll just tease people endlessly then go home and wear my cashmere socks. SO SATISFYING.

 

OTHER VAGUELY IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR CONDONED DURING THIS CHALLENGE: 

 

- eating ice cream

- eating all my meals off paper plates to avoid dishes 

- calling/texting friends to discuss episodes of HGTV or equally pointless things

- the "papyrus" font

- sleeping in on weekdays (occasionally)

- "wasting" discretionary income on working out with my trainer, or on guitar lessons, without guilt

- doing street art photography

- ALL THE GLITTER

- refusing to watch tv news unless I feel like it, which is never

 

And probably other shit I'll think of later. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*obviously I came of age in the early 80's, pre-AIDS and things. 

 

 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

That goal before the * threw me and then I was really sad after I saw what you planned for it.

I guess I’m here for the bourbon instead.

Also, there needs to be a hair pic.

[DJtrippyT]

19 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

That goal before the * threw me and then I was really sad after I saw what you planned for it.

I guess I’m here for the bourbon instead.

Also, there needs to be a hair pic.

 

I’ll do a hair pic when I get home, I’m at my moms this weekend. If anything interesting pops up for that other goal, I’ll DM you the details with the names changed to protect the not very innocent. 

[DJtrippyT]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

That goal before the * threw me and then I was really sad after I saw what you planned for it.

 

My benedryl hasn't kicked in yet, so I'm just adding that my nutrition plan I'm about to start is very paleo, carnivore-heavy, and when I am doing well on that... strange things happen to my body chemistry. You know that expression, "fight or flight"? I very rapidly switch over to "fight or fuck". I'm legitimately in a state where I want to either murder people or screw them. (Occasionally, both.) I go about sixteen digits up the assertiveness scale, and shit gets interesting. 

 

I am pleased to announce that I have eaten ice cream today, and it was amazingly delicious. Dulce de leche hagen-daaz. 10/10, would eat again.

 

I also had a good moment today in that I am trying to get better at asking for help when I need it, instead of all Lone Gunslingering everything, and today while I was at the grocery store I had a bit of a panic attack because my throat was a bit sore, and I went straight to ohmyfuckinggodIhavecovidandIbroughtittomymom four-alarm, heart racing terror, so instead of just sitting in my car crying while I freaked out and the ice cream melted, I texted my old roommate and the Mantis asking for help. The Mantis called me back immediately and talked me down, and I was able to pull out of the tailspin and go on with my day (and save the ice cream). I think if I hadn't asked for the assist it would have gone on for far longer. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along. I'm glad the Mantis saved the ice cream.

 

I'm here to help save you from your terrible taste in whiskey.*

 

For starters, no Southern Comfort and no Wild Turkey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*That'll teach you to call me shallow in Sloth's thread  

[DJtrippyT]

10 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

For starters, no Southern Comfort and no Wild Turkey.

 

No Maker's Mark, either. That shit tastes like engine degreaser.

 

11 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

*That'll teach you to call me shallow in Sloth's thread  

 

hehehehehehe 🙂

[Sloth the Enduring]

[DJtrippyT]

Additions to the fun adult list, because why not 

 

- I want to learn bo staff. I tell myself it’s because it’s great upper body training and agility, but actually it’s just because it looks bad ass. 

 

- I’m getting my horoscope read by a friend’s mom who is super into that. I don’t actually believe in such things but R and her mom are awesome and it will be fun

 

- it’s open season on bad puns

 

- SPANISH SOAP OPERAS

 

 

[DarK_RaideR]

 

1 hour ago, DJtrippyT said:

SPANISH SOAP OPERAS

[deftona]

Trippy, this challenge is a bit of me so I am totally following. Let me live vicariously through you, so please furnish me with lots of photos of the new hair, new threads, and new dicks you're fraternising with (I have never been sent a dick pic, and I think I am the only woman who has ever been on the internet who is undickpicable)

 

14 hours ago, DJtrippyT said:

My devoted cadre of friends, willing to jet around the world at a moment's notice? My harem of side bitches, hanging on my every witticism? 

 

Um, I'm right here. 

[DJtrippyT]

38 minutes ago, deftona said:

Trippy, this challenge is a bit of me so I am totally following. Let me live vicariously through you, so please furnish me with lots of photos of the new hair, new threads, and new dicks you're fraternising with (I have never been sent a dick pic, and I think I am the only woman who has ever been on the internet who is undickpicable)

 

 

Um, I'm right here. 

 

You will never be only a side bitch to me. You are so much more. 

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

56 minutes ago, deftona said:

I have never been sent a dick pic

[deftona]

2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

*looks confused in British*

[DarK_RaideR]

2 hours ago, deftona said:

*looks confused in British*

I'm assuming the man's named Dick?

 

*googles*

 

Yup, Dick Clark. Once again, Americans assuming the rest of their world gets their cultural references, especially TV and sports ones

 

[deftona]

24 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

I'm assuming the man's named Dick?

 

*googles*

 

Yup, Dick Clark. Once again, Americans assuming the rest of their world gets their cultural references, especially TV and sports ones

 

 

I made the same assumption. I would have searched myself but I have a strict "no googling dick before 10pm" rule. 

 

37 mins til dick o'clock.

[Xena]

18 hours ago, DJtrippyT said:

My benedryl hasn't kicked in yet, so I'm just adding that my nutrition plan

 

I initially read this as "...so I'm just adding that [benedryl] to my nutrition plan"

The benedryl diet sounded like an interesting choice and I was trying not to judge.

 

17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following along. I'm glad the Mantis saved the ice cream.

 

'bout time he did something useful. Makes up for about 13% of the asshole behavior during that hike.

[DJtrippyT]

7 hours ago, Xena said:

I initially read this as "...so I'm just adding that [benedryl] to my nutrition plan"

The benedryl diet sounded like an interesting choice and I was trying not to judge.

 

I laughed so hard at this that I keep re-opening the notifications so I can laugh at it again 

[DJtrippyT]

17 hours ago, deftona said:

(I have never been sent a dick pic, and I think I am the only woman who has ever been on the internet who is undickpicable)

 

May I present to you Dick Van Dyke, who manages to have not one but TWO American sexual slurs in his name

[DJtrippyT]

OMG Y’ALL MY GLITTER GYM BAG GOT HERE

 

 

[fearless 2.0]

 

thanks for a fun read!

[DJtrippyT]

17 hours ago, deftona said:

 

 

37 mins til dick o'clock.

 

“Dick o’clock” is now the official name for mas- you know what let’s just call it “applied self-care” so we don’t get kicked off the boards

[DJtrippyT]

15 minutes ago, fearless 2.0 said:

 

thanks for a fun read!

 

Also added to the list; reveling in my love of Britney Spears. “Toxic” is like the BEST workout music. Thanks, @fearless 2.0

[Mr_Willes]

On 10/25/2020 at 2:18 AM, DJtrippyT said:

Remember when you were a kid - especially when you were around 15-16-ish - and being an adult seemed like something you absolutely could not wait to be? 

 

 

 

Yeah, I know. 

 

Adulthood sounded GREAT. 

 

No testing or homework or grades!

 

Champagne toasts every night!

 

Have an awesome wardrobe!

 

Wear whatever you want -  without getting yelled at by your dad!

 

Eat dessert every day if you want to!

 

Go on exotic vacations!

 

Fuck whoever you feel like!*

 

As it happens, adulthood seems to have become one ongoing ass-chap of petty irritants, like arguing with contractors, being chided about cholesterol, doing your taxes, being forced to watch CNN when you don't want to by well meaning relatives, variable interest rates (never in your favor, either) and other sand in the underpants of my life. 

 

SO BORING. 

 

Where are my privileges? My dream lifestyle? My devoted cadre of friends, willing to jet around the world at a moment's notice? My harem of side bitches, hanging on my every witticism? 

 

Really, why would anyone WANT to be an adult?

 

IT'S TIME TO RECLAIM ADULTHOOD FOR THE FUN PEOPLE 

 

 

I am actually working on my nutrition for this six-week period, which is so boring that I want to drill out my own eyes, so I wasn't going to challenge. But I would miss everybody and I look terrible in a hair shirt, so as an antidote I'm going to do a challenge where I try to embrace all my OTHER vices to distract myself from protein macros and net carbs and other such dull things, as long as said vices don't make me fat.

Fat-er. Whatever. 

 

 

I made a list of all the things that made adulthood seem so alluring to my 15-year-old self, and I will attempt to indulge as many of them as I can without the ATF getting involved. 

 

Here we go!

 

Champagne Toast:

 

I love champagne, more for what it seems to signify than what it is, so I will keep those mini-bottles of champagne in my fridge at all times during the challenge and drink them whenever I feel moved to do so. (But responsibly, of course. I'm an adult, not an idiot.)

 

I don't know why, but drinking an "adult" thing like bourbon has always seemed incredibly sophisticated to me. (Deffy, Tank, and Sloth will now know where this challenge sprang from). I will try one or two types of bourbon per week for the length of the challenge until I find one I like. Or maybe I find out that I don't like bourbon and I decide to never drink it again. That's fine too!

 

 

 

 

Fabulous wardrobe: 

 

 

My job seems to be working out and I did two races in the last three weeks, and after each one I got a bonus, so instead of being "responsible" aka boring, I blew half the bonus money on some new threads and an assload of jewelry, so I get to dress in some nice things. I got a couple of new skirts, new tops, some cool rings, a bunch of makeup (just from the drugstore, nothing fancy) and a set of cashmere socks that were absurdly expensive and impractical but feel amazing on my feets. Oh, and new boots. I'm going to take the time to get dressed in the morning before I get into my office, instead of just going down there in my pajamas and sitting there all day like a slob, which makes me feel awful. 

 

I also dyed my hair super blonde, and I love it and keep pushing it further to white, which is kind of ridiculous but I don't care. 

 

 

 

 

Go on exotic vacations!

 

 

 

I am still hoping to go to the Keys in December to get my diving certification, but if I can't save enough money I might push it to January. Hopefully not. 

 

Fuck whoever you feel like!

 

 

hahahahahaha maybe not this one. I am going to turn 52 exactly at the end of this challenge and I have the sex drive of a houseplant. 

 

I'll just tease people endlessly then go home and wear my cashmere socks. SO SATISFYING.

 

OTHER VAGUELY IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR CONDONED DURING THIS CHALLENGE: 

 

- eating ice cream

- eating all my meals off paper plates to avoid dishes 

- calling/texting friends to discuss episodes of HGTV or equally pointless things

- the "papyrus" font

- sleeping in on weekdays (occasionally)

- "wasting" discretionary income on working out with my trainer, or on guitar lessons, without guilt

- doing street art photography

- ALL THE GLITTER

- refusing to watch tv news unless I feel like it, which is never

 

And probably other shit I'll think of later. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*obviously I came of age in the early 80's, pre-AIDS and things. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mr_Willes]

On 10/25/2020 at 3:17 AM, DJtrippyT said:

 

I’ll do a hair pic when I get home, I’m at my moms this weekend. If anything interesting pops up for that other goal, I’ll DM you the details with the names changed to protect the not very innocent. 

 

Wondering how to be on this list too, or maybe on the list where the names aren't changed, works either way!

[Mr_Willes]

23 hours ago, deftona said:

(I have never been sent a dick pic, and I think I am the only woman who has ever been on the internet who is undickpicable)