Guinness - Creating Culpability within Calamitous Times

[Guinness2000]

Background:

I've always been very into fitness from an unhealthy standpoint. I've always been overly interested in the appearance and not so interested in the sustainability of that appearance. I've been through a slew of eating disorders and disorderly conduct and found myself in a bad spot. Then I went to college and I found rock climbing and a gym partner and dance – all things I loved having in my life. Someone to nerd out about Star Ward With while 100 feet up on El Capitan. Then college ended and so did the rock climbing and the buddy system. I still had dance though and a job near lots of greenways and a park so I could get an early run in and sweat out any bad decisions on the dance floor. Now we're in a global pandemic. Politics are insane, I quit my job, dance is canceled and I feel back where I was before college. I want to get back on the same track and I want to give myself a sense of culpability. So I am joining this challenge and challenging myself to feel great. I hope I can find support and a community here. So here are my goals:

Diet

• Reduce caloric intake to 1350 calories a day, track daily here and on myfitnesspal application and my workout notebook.

Exercise

• Consistently go to the gym at least FOUR TIMES A WEEK. Performing the Begin the Beginner Bodyweight Workout from Nerd Fitness (https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/) 3 days a week and doing a run at least one day a week.

Leveling Up

• Meditation: Begin meditating post-workout shower for 15 minutes a day, increasing to 20 minutes  a day in two weeks.
• Book Writing: Schedule in a minimum of 30 minutes a day to write or research my book.
  • As a note I am writing an ethical living book about the reasons behind making ethical choices in our daily lives.

[ladymorella]

Welcome and good luck on your challenge goals.

[Qeidren]

Welcome to the Rebellion, glad to have you aboard.

[Chesire]

Welcome!  Looks like a good plan.

 

You completely made me do a cartoonish double take because my cat's name is Guinness.  He's not black, but the eyes are right. 

 

 

[Guinness2000]

57 minutes ago, Chesire said:

Welcome!  Looks like a good plan.

 

You completely made me do a cartoonish double take because my cat's name is Guinness.  He's not black, but the eyes are right. 

 

 

Thanks, I'm doing pretty good today, but the hard part is keeping it up.

 

Personally I think Guinness is a really solid cat name, although mine is based on the color of a Guinness stout. It used to be the theme for my cat's names with a Cornish Rex named Stella and a a brown American shorthair named Irish Car Bomb. She is a real sweetie.

[Chesire]

haha!  Exactly the same reason for ours!  He is tiger who was much more black and tan as a kitten. 

[Guinness2000]

That's just perfect! Very like-minded people it seems. I didn't think about the head on the beer or she might've ended up with a completely different name. Seems like we are fairly like-minded cat-people.

[juliebarkley]

21 hours ago, Guinness2000 said:

Consistently go to the gym at least FOUR TIMES A WEEK.

Consistency: so important yet so challenging. Following along.

[Guinness2000]

Day isn't over yet, but one of my not-mentioned but still important goals is to limit my exposure to screens to between 0800 and 1900 excluding music controls because gym-time without tunes or audiobooks is some kind of torture for me.

 

Today has been okay.

 

Workout this morning happened later than intended, but it did happen. I got through the full basic dynamic workup:

•    100 JJ
•     50 arm circles (big and small each arm)
•     20 supported lunges
•     20 mountain climbers
•     23 hip raises (i just like doing these)

I got through two rounds of the basic beginner workout with a bathroom break in-between and felt exhausted by the end. 

•    Adjustments
  • Kneeling push-ups
  • For the walking lunges I did supported lunges and jumped my legs to switch between each rep
• Weight
  • Just an 8lb dumbbell for the rows - was a little light, moving to a 10 lb on Wednesday

I was disappointed in how much I've let myself go physically. I used to do 50 squats at 150lb without breaking a sweat. And now I can barely get through 20 reps of bodyweight squats without having my glutes shiver. I am just out of shape and that realization was really hard today. 

 

So that was my  0630 workout. For food today:

• Water consumption
  • 2L during/after workout
  • 0.5L on worksite
  • 2L on the way home
  • 2L between return and dinner
• Breakfast
  • 2 pieces of organic grain toast
  • 1 T of homemade vegan butter 
  • 1/4 grapefruit (had an allergic reaction, so I didn't finish the half)
  • 8 oz black coffee
  • 4 oz espresso
• Lunch
  • 1/4 C Almonds 
• Dinner (yet to be had)
  • 2 C roasted veggies (mix of potatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts)
  • 1/4 C. Tumeric Rice (homemade vegan butter, olive oil., onion, garlic, rice, tumeric, cumin, salt, pepper)
• Appx. Caloric total: 1216 according to My fitness pal

Meditation:

Haven't yet. I didn't leave time for it this morning, I will have a 15 minute session before bed.

 

Writing:

Wrote for a full hour after I finished my daily task. I got the skeleton of all of my chapters including rough intro/outros and argument structures. I also have my research item for tomorrow's session.

My emotional trackers so far (emotional trackers go from low to high; 5 being the best and 1 being the worst):

Tracker                         Morning(0900)         Afternoon(1500)        End of Day (1630)

Physical status                       3                                     1                                    4   

Emotional status                    4                                     4                                    4

 

Evidently pretty consistent emotions, but by noon I just wanted to take a nap. Overall I am really happy with how today went, and I am very excited to get up and go to the gym and row a few leagues tomorrow morning.

[Guinness2000]

I worked on a bit of a spreadsheet for myself to keep track of the data tracking and work on progress reports for myself. Here is the link if you want to check it out. https://1drv.ms/x/s!AglgHGBVoz-ygik-KFRPJKPbEvHb

[Guinness2000]

Workout:

 

I decided not to go to the gym today for three reasons.

1. I was very sore from yesterday
2. Usually I fail by going too hard too fast, so I wanted to ramp up my acceleration instead of flooding the tank.
3. I knew I had a very physically challenging day to come and I wanted to be able to do what I had set out to do.

Diet:

 

I was Okay on the diet front. Food summary:

• Breakfast
  • Organic everything bagel
  • 1 T HM vegan butter
  • 2 glasses of water
  • 8 oz coffee 
  • 2 oz espresso
• Lunch
  • 9 almonds
  • 2 tablespoons coconut flakes
  • 1.5 C green beans
  • Quick sauce (PB, thai chili flakes, mirin, soy sauce)
• Dinner
  • Homemade falafel (fried)
  • Homemade Pita bread
  • Cucumber salad (cucumber, spinach, tomato, fresh dill)
  • Tahini sauce (Tahini, water, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper)
• Caloric total: 1241 calories

Meditation

Meditated this morning at 0400. I spooked myself awake and did a 15 minute seated meditation. I am no better on consistency, but It did help me rest. I plan to do another 15 minute meditation before bed.

Writing

Have yet to. Plan to start as soon as this gets posted. Today I am researching how slave labor is financed by consumerism. Very exciting times. 

 

 

Alrighty, there is a table for yah and here's how the day went.

[Guinness2000]

I was very happy with today. Overall I feel really happy and good right now. A little sore, but good.

Workout

Workout this morning happened promptly 0530. I got through the full basic dynamic workup:

•    30 JJ
•     35 arm circles (big and small each arm)
•     20 supported lunges
•     20 mountain climbers
•     20 hip raises

I got through ALL THREE ROUNDS of the basic beginner workout! I slowed down the pace as I went through. For the last rep I took a lot of the dynamic movements out and just did the standard movement. 

•    Adjustments
  • Kneeling push-ups
  • For the walking lunges I did supported lunges and jumped my legs to switch between each rep
• Weight
  • 10lb dumbbell for the rows - was a little light, moving to a 12 lb on Friday.

My legs were so exhausted and sore and they are still exhausted and sore. But I did it, and I am proud of myself.

 

I also danced a whole lot today. I jus felt very energized and happy and I can't help how much I miss partner dance.

 

Diet

• Water consumption
  • 2L during/after workout
  • 2L on worksite
  • 0.5L on the way home
  • 2L between return and dinner
• Breakfast
  • 1 piece of organic grain toast
  • 1 t of homemade vegan butter 
  • 1/2 C almond milk
  • 8 oz black coffee
  • 4 oz espresso
  • 2 scoops of pea protein powder
  • 2 tablets BCA
  • 1 scoop L-glutamine
• Lunch
  • 2 T coconut shavings 
• Dinner 
  • 0.5 C roasted veggies (mix of potatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts)
  • 4 Homemade falafel
  • 1/2 Homemade Pita
  • 1/2 C spinach, 1/8 tomato, and 1/12th cucumber
  • 1 T homemate tahini dressing
• Appx. Caloric total: 1150 according to My fitness pal

Meditation:

Did a 15 minute meditation and was shaken out of it by the timer. First time since I bumped up to 15 minutes! I'm really happy with my progress here. 

 

Writing:

Researched sexual trafficking and modern-slavery today. Super fun. Some awful unnecessary knowledge, but also some of the good bits like how journalistic exposure of human trafficking victims and pathways has lead to legal action and how improved education (specifically women's) in third-world countries changes social and cultural dynamics almost immediately has an effect on the percentage of child trafficking.

 

 

Evidently pretty consistent emotions, but by noon I just wanted to take a nap. Overall I am really happy with how today went, and I am very excited to get up and go to the gym and row a few leagues tomorrow morning. If you are into musicals, SIX is a modern one about King Henry IVths six wives and it is amazing.

Ooh yeah, love a good table.

[Guinness2000]

Today was great until my boyfriend convinced me that fast food was a good decision and now I feel like a whale.

Workout

Workout this morning happened around 0645. I got through this warmup

•    30 JJ
•     35 arm circles (big and small each arm)
•     20 hip raises

Followed my a 20 minute run (closer to an 8 minute warmup and a 10 minute run followed by a cooldown. Did about a 15 minute mile. And then a mile-long walk back home. 

 

 

I actually don't feel too sore today. A little tight, but overall I physically felt the best I have in days.

More dancing today as well.

 

Diet

• Water consumption
  • 2L during/after workout
  • 2L throughout the day
  • 2L after work
• Breakfast
  • 2 pieces of organic grain toast
  • 0.75 T of homemade vegan butter
• Lunch
  • 2 fallafel balls
  • 2 C roasted veggies
  • 1 C ruce
• Dinner 
  • Large Fry
  • Large Hash Brown 
• Appx. Caloric total: 3 million bajillion (1353)

Meditation:

Knocked a 15 minute meditation out easy peasy this morning. I was very happy and peaceful.

 

Writing:

Researched even more sexual trafficking and modern-slavery today.

 

Ooh yeah, love a good table.

[spezzy]

Hi hi great goals! Love the table, too  

[Qeidren]

Don't sweat it too much on the takeout. One burger every once in a while isn't enough to even dent your momentum, and it is perfectly okay to treat yourself. You can still get where you're going without having to be a calorie-counting machine. Ask me how I know

 

I still have a pair of sour worms at least once a day, haven't binged the whole bag yet. The other day I got to work and realised I'd forgotten breakfast, my only real option was to order a burrito (which was super delicious BTW). I used to have a cheat day once a week, but in the past three months the things I like to cheat with have changed considerably. Now, my cheat day consists less of donuts and McDonald's and more of grapes and cherry tomatoes. I still make time for burritos though, that's what they're there for: eating.

 

You totally got this.

[Guinness2000]

As for food, today was worse than yesterday, and that's about all I did. Overall I was minimally productive and only played the piano a bit. I helped a client with some stuff and made sure my little brother voted by dragging him to the poles. During which I went on a nice mile-long walk.

 

I am thinking about getting rid of my fancy smart phone and switching to a bluetooth watch with music storage and a step-counter since that's about all I use my fancy phone for outside of messages. I have an alternative dumb phone I am paying for anyway. 

 

So here is my goals:

Workout:

Nope, Snuggled my partner for about THREE HOURS more than allotted, but I've missed our morning cuddle routine. Plan is to do the third full body workout tomorrow and push what I was going to do tomorrow (run and core workout) to Sunday. 

Diet

Today was rough with a whole lot of thai food and garlic knots for dinner. Even with skipping breakfast I managed to overshoot my goal. Not by much, but by enough that I am seriously rethinking the pastries I am baking tomorrow.

• Breakfast
  • None. 4oz black coffee if you can count that
• Lunch
  • 3 C Massaman Curry (vegetable and tofu)
• Dinner
  • Homemade Garlic Knots with Homemade Garlic Butter

For a nightcap I made a little pumpkin spice drink with almond milk, pumpkin, nutmeg, cloves, ground anise, cinnamon, cayenne, and of course spiced rum.

 

Caloric total: 1410

 

Meditation:

Got a 10-minute one just before writing this.

 

Writing:

Read a bit more about worker wages in thailand, china, japan, indonesia, and vietnam. Then went through and drafted a structural plan for content delivery.

 

[Guinness2000]

20 hours ago, Qeidren said:

You totally got this.

I appreciate the uplifting message. I have a tendency to be pretty hard on myself and have always had a negative relationship with food. I am amazed at your level of self control. I myself am a snacking fiend. Even with healthy things I am bad at blending awareness and appreciation in with my food.

[Qeidren]

2 hours ago, Guinness2000 said:

I appreciate the uplifting message. I have a tendency to be pretty hard on myself and have always had a negative relationship with food. I am amazed at your level of self control. I myself am a snacking fiend. Even with healthy things I am bad at blending awareness and appreciation in with my food.

I was absolutely horrible with self control until I started to internalise this little piece of information: self-discipline is self-love. Flipping the script on a whole lot of that negative self-talk. We beat ourselves up when we fall short, but that critical voice is also absolutely insistent that we don't hate ourselves. So I turn the tables: 'I'm not going on a diet/taking yoga classes/going to the gym because I hate who I am/am not enough/will always be weak, I'm doing this because I care about my health now and into the future.' And so it goes. The way so many of us (me included, oh the stories I can tell) learn from feedback and observation is that if we start behind or fall behind in some way then that is a failure of character, and one that must be corrected either percussively or its psychological equivalent. We turn the medicine of change into poison.

 

We get it plenty bass-ackwards when it comes to doing right by ourselves and we internalise this false idea that the road upward is full of pain and suffering that we have to learn to love. I will never agree to that, no matter how hard I go or where I'm going, I am still an epicurean creature. I do the things I love, but I have been slowly changing what I love, and it happens way faster than you would think, faster than it does by trying to force myself to do things I hate or force them before I'm ready.

 

Making mistakes is called learning, don't sweat it. No matter the size of your steps, motion counts for everything. As for mindfulness and food: Meditate for a few minutes before a main meal. Breathe deep, focus on your breath, slowly relax your body and just watch your sense of taste explode.

[Scaly Freak]

On 10/30/2020 at 5:16 PM, Guinness2000 said:

Workout:

Nope, Snuggled my partner for about THREE HOURS more than allotted,

 

This is the opposite of a bad thing and sounds absolutely wonderful.

 

Also seconding what Qeidren said about takeout food and self-talk. It's only a big deal it the fast food become a daily habit for weeks at a time. Given your attitude about it, that's not going to happen, so don't beat yourself up about having it once or twice. The world is crazy right now. Go easy on yourself.