NeverThatBored Returns

[NeverThatBored]

Hi All, 

 

It's mid-workday so I'm not going to write a long intro now, but I wanted to post something while I had the motivation. After a multi-year streak of never missing a challenge, I dropped off the forums for a bunch of challenges this year. 2020 has not been kind to me and working on a challenge amidst it all felt futile. 

 

But I miss my NF community and I had a challenge idea that might actually work with where I am right now. So, hi! I'm back. 

 

Challenge Goals:

1. Do something good for my brain every day
2. Journal every day
3. Weekly relaxation session of some sort 

 

I'm not aiming for or expecting perfection here. Even a score of 50% would still be an improvement from where I am now. 

[NeverThatBored]

This may be a more druid-y challenge, but Rangers gonna Ranger. 

[Maigs]

NTB! We've missed you around here. I keep ghosting my challenges this year, it's definitely a rough year, but I'm glad you're here!

[Elastigirl]

Yay, NTB is here!!!!

[kcaleece]

Every little bit helps, right? We're all cheering for you!

[Jarric]

Welcome back NTB! It's so good to see you here

[iatetheyeti]

Good to see you back again

 

[fleaball]

Yay you're back! I keep meaning to text you but I don't know what time zone you're in and don't want to do it at an obnoxious time. -__- Sorry!

[NeverThatBored]

 

I totally remembered that this challenge existed. Yep. Didn't forget about it or anything like that! 

 

 

[NeverThatBored]

15 hours ago, fleaball said:

Yay you're back! I keep meaning to text you but I don't know what time zone you're in and don't want to do it at an obnoxious time. -__- Sorry!

 

Text me anytime! I am great at sleeping and will not be awoken by late night texts.  

 

(I'm in EST though FYI. For now.)

[Sylvaa]

On 10/29/2020 at 2:21 PM, NeverThatBored said:

 

Text me anytime! I am great at sleeping and will not be awoken by late night texts.  

 

(I'm in EST though FYI. For now.)

 

If you are in EST, you are probably near me, which means we need to do something. I miss you (both!)!

[Teros]

22 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

If you are in EST, you are probably near me, which means we need to do something. I miss you (both!)!

EST Represent

[NeverThatBored]

Week 1 Summary

 

......... 

 

 

I took a bath with a bath bomb on Saturday and played Animal Crossing in the bath. I've got a few bath bombs and I'm trying to use them up while I still can. So there's my weekly relaxation goal met, at least.

 

I spent some time today on a lesson in an online mobility course I've been working my way through. Bonus - I did some mobility work as I followed along. So that's one day where I did something for my brain. I spent some time on a textbook one other day this week, so that gets me to a whole 2/7 days.

 

I did a bit of writing some ideas down. Not quite what I meant by journaling, but I'll count it for today....which gets me to a whole 1/7 days. 

 

Next week's goal is to actually remember to do this challenge. 

 

I'm struggling with the journaling a bit. There's a lot of stuff I want to write about but it's all so heavy that I also don't want to write about it. Which is of course WHY I need to do it. 

[fleaball]

25 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

I'm struggling with the journaling a bit. There's a lot of stuff I want to write about but it's all so heavy that I also don't want to write about it. Which is of course WHY I need to do it. 

This is why I set my goal to "journaling for 5 minutes" whenever I do it. Sometimes it's just a straight recap of my day and when the timer goes off I'm done, but it still counts and I'm working toward the habit. Other nights I start writing about whatever and then the unpleasant shit decides to come out on its own and it's like "okay, I guess this is happening even though I didn't plan it." Idk if that would work for you or not. I've found that letting the shitty stuff do its own thing is easier than sort of planning to write about it and then dreading the whole thing in advance.

[NeverThatBored]

So I'm feeling like I can't talk about things here without first sharing a bit more context about the shitpile of 2020. 

 

Spoilers for bad stuff:

 

Spoiler

So, for context, my mom died in August. At the very end of May, she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I flew home to help take care of her, and my sister and I spent the next two months caretaking for her. Managing medicine, food, chemo and other doctor trips, personal hygiene, and covid precautions. And also my father, who's useless at best and pretty much just threw his hands up and stopped helping with anything. 

 

We didn't know how long it was going to be, anywhere from 1.5 months to 1.5 years, although we knew the shorter timeline was much more likely. In some ways it was the longest 2 months of my life, and in other ways it happened in a flash.

 

She was only 60. Over the past two years, she'd lost over 100 pounds. She'd rediscovered her energy and excitement for life and there were so many things she was looking forward to doing, and that I was looking forward to doing with her. So many of my future dreams were built around things I wanted to do with her. Losing her is devastating. 

 

I loved my mom. I'd sort of built my life around being able to go home for months at a time to be with her, even if I lived on the East Coast most of the year. 

 

That was by far the worst thing that happened in 2020, but there's additional bad stuff:

 

Spoiler

My boyfriend got a job offer in Illinois, and it was basically his dream job. We'd talked about it before and I'd said I wasn't willing to move anywhere but a handful of places where I knew people. I've already moved twice in my life to places where I don't know anybody, and that's my limit. I wasn't willing to do it again. But it was a dream job, so he accepted the job.

 

After he'd made that decision, I got the news about my mom. So while I was in CA taking care of her, he was back in VA packing up the apartment and moving away. I have until the end of the year to move my stuff out, so I just got back like 2 weeks ago and I have to deal with that. 

 

We were together for 8 years. We still are for now as we figure things out. 

 

All of this pales in comparison to everything with my mom, but it's still awful. In the same time period, I lost the two people in the world who know me best and make me feel less alone. My life was completely upended, and now I'm struggling with how to move forward.

 

Also to complete the triumvirate, I got a new (virtual) job that started in August. So now I'm trying to figure out how to juggle loss on top of loss on top of new job stress on top of packing up and moving out of an apartment with no idea where I want to go next. It's a lot. 

 

^This totally counts as journaling for today. 

[Elastigirl]

Sending you all the hug. Sorry for the loss of your mom and  your other struggles. 

[Maigs]

I'm so sorry NTB. Sending long-distance virtual hugs

[iatetheyeti]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and sorry for the additional stresses and hardships you're having to endure alongside it.

[Jarric]

So sorry for your loss NTB. I hope everything works out well for you with relationships and work, whatever that looks like in the end.

[NeverThatBored]

I came to this website and got distracted 3 times before I remembered that I meant to post here.

 

On Tuesday I had the day off from work, so after voting I went on my first bike ride since I left VA in June. I was really enjoying riding in the first half of the year, so it was nice to get out and still be able to ride. I did about 9 miles and it was quiet out on the trail that's usually busy. Honestly, it was more relaxing to me than the baths I've been using to "relax."

 

I also got to go feed my friend's cats since she was working late, and I love time with cats so that's a win/win.

 

I didn't journal but I spent some time on that mobility course, so that's a brain thing. 

 

Today (Wednesday) I did some journalling. Not the journalling I've been meaning to do, but some journalling all the same. I spent some time playing the ukulele, which wasn't what I meant by "do something good for my brain" but it IS good for my brain, so I'm counting it. 

[Maggie-Miau]

*sends lots of hugs* I'm glad you're still here despite everything ❤️

[Rurik Harrgath]

36 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

I came to this website and got distracted 3 times before I remembered that I meant to post here.

 

That might be the story of my life...

 

In all seriousness, I am sorry for your loss NTB and I'm very glad to see you're journalling.  That can be a very healthy and fulfiling (and enlightening) therapeutic tool.

[NeverThatBored]

Surprise surprise, I abandoned this challenge! This goal seemed good on paper, but it's not working for me. While journaling and brain food are really good things to do, and things I want to do, I need to focus on something else. 

 

I'm having trouble doing normal things. I keep up with work and exercise, but then I leave the dishes ignored for 5 days or don't fold my laundry. I've been meaning to start packing, and have done a little bit, but then I watched an episode of The Queen's Gambit and found myself bingeing the rest in 2 days instead of doing anything that needs to be done. 

 

It's as if my past, present, and impending life changes are causing me anxiety??? Weird.

 

So I want to change my goal to something like "do something that needs to get done every day." Inconveniently, I'm about to leave to meet my friend at an airbnb cabin for a week for a vacation and I can't take care of any of those things if I'm not here.

 

So NEXT challenge, that will be a great goal.

For the remaining 2 weeks of this one?? I honestly just want to relax. Be kind to myself. Enjoy seeing loved ones (and their dogs). I'm thinking a good goal might be to find some way to move, either yoga or a workout, every day while I'm away. 

 

For the next challenge/stuff I have to deal with, a to do list...

• Pack everything
• Identify and secure a storage unit (of indeterminate size??) 
• Figure out how I'm going to move my desk to said storage unit
• Figure out where I can donate stuff I'm downsizing
• Get my car inspected and renew the registration 
• Start ordering Christmas presents 

Just typing out that list makes me want to spin in circles! Wheeeeee stress!

[Elastigirl]

Enjoy your time at the cabin.Now you've made a list, so you can focus on what you need to do for the trip and just go away and enjoy. More than likely, you will come back and feel like you are  more able to conquer the other stuff.

On 11/4/2020 at 6:02 PM, NeverThatBored said:

I came to this website and got distracted 3 times before I remembered that I meant to post here.

 

 

 

Yep,  been there done that, way too many times. At least you eventually remembered!

[NeverThatBored]

After making this post, I found myself randomly clicking on a link to one of my old challenges. It was from 2017 and I was doing so much! I was at peak Captain Rangerbrain and loving it. 

 

@fleaball do you remember the cat takeover challenge??