Heidi: Leap of Faith

[Heidi]

Not sure what this challenge holds for me, so I'm coming in with an open heart.

Stay tuned, because this is the mindset that usually means the doors get blown off.   

❤️

[sarakingdom]

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

The doors were looking shabby anyway.

[Heidi]

4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

The doors were looking shabby anyway.

I mean, you're not wrong . . . .

[Scaly Freak]

15 hours ago, Heidi said:

Stay tuned, because this is the mindset that usually means the doors get blown off.   

 

 

In the best way possible.

 

You're supposed to keep them open for ventilation while people congregate indoors these days anyway.

[Heidi]

Whew, with all the guild chat, I haven't posted a thing here yet.

 

The coming four weeks have a denouement feeling, very appropriate for the waning of the days. This is a time to take stock and tie up loose ends in all my endeavors, mind body and soul.

 

 

 

Mind

Republic Books 8&9 paper December 10

Families paper December 10

Ongoing vision setting and Grant identification with SOPHIA leadership

Agraphia Writing Accountability Group December 4, 11

2 New Book Spotlight articles for Philosophy

Philosophy of Time interview

Climate Matters series development

Appeal letter for University of Kentucky registrar

Creative Writing Workshop December 3, 10, 17

Body

Acupuncture: December 10

Massage: December 8, 15, 

Housekeeping; December 21

Eating -- I keep forgetting to do this, so the only smart approach is to check @Tanktimus the Encourager's thread regularly.

Soul

Rest, Meditation, especially whenever the headaches threaten

Visits with Vivian December 5, 19, 26

Meeting with Stacy, Vivian's therapist December 3, 17

Meeting with Martha

Morning calls with Jimbo

Memoir Writing

 

Tracking

Medication days: 12.5; 12.6; 12.10x2

N.B. I had a respite from medication days from the 11th until [21st and counting], which is a new thing altogether. Thank God for my acupuncturist. I had a serious Headache Morning on the 27th, but didn't have to take the rx: aspirin-tylenol cocktail and rest seemed to do the trick. More Acupuncture.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

5 hours ago, Heidi said:

Eating -- I keep forgetting to do this, so the only smart approach is to check @Tanktimus the Encourager's thread regularly.

Mesa accepting this responsibility with muy muy humility and...

[Heidi]

7 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Mesa accepting this responsibility with muy muy humility and...

The gratitude is mine.

 

[Heidi]

"To the mind that is still, the whole Universe surrenders."

I Ching

[Rurik Harrgath]

12 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Mesa accepting this responsibility with muy muy humility and...

 

This is the oddest thing as I just quoted a Gungan in another thread just now.

 

5 hours ago, Heidi said:

"To the mind that is still, the whole Universe surrenders."

I Ching

 

If the entire planet needed a quote of the day... this would surely be it.

[Heidi]

2 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

If the entire planet needed a quote of the day... this would surely be it.

This is true.

Well met, Friend, and welcome.

[Heidi]

I'm feeling the pull of solitude again, not odd for me but strange given the year we've all had. The town I'm living in again has no concept of personal space, let alone social distance; masks are right out.

 

I'm feeling out of step with the world more than ever.

If it weren't for my daughter, I would pack everything back up and move to a Hermitage cabin for the next few years.

https://www.lorettocommunity.org/about/motherhouse/retreat-centers/

[darkfoxx]

I feel ya. I had very little patience to deal with other people and their bullshit before ... I have an active desire to not do so now. 

[Scaly Freak]

4 minutes ago, darkfoxx said:

I feel ya. I had very little patience to deal with other people and their bullshit before ... I have an active desire to not do so now. 

 

I feel the same way. I have noticed that other people's bullshit has become worse since the pandemic started, and I am undecided if it's because it has become worse, or if it is because my tolerance is substantially lower.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

15 minutes ago, Heidi said:

 

I'm feeling out of step with the world more than ever.

If it weren't for my daughter, I would pack everything back up and move to a Hermitage cabin for the next few years

Being a Hermit does have a certain appeal. It's essentially being a professional introvert.

[darkfoxx]

18 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

I feel the same way. I have noticed that other people's bullshit has become worse since the pandemic started, and I am undecided if it's because it has become worse, or if it is because my tolerance is substantially lower.

I think it’s a little of both - Some people have ramped up the shenanigans and crazybananas  lack of critical thinking - especially on social media - and also, for me personally, once I quit forcing myself to be social - I returned to having an adverse desire to do so. 

[sarakingdom]

36 minutes ago, Heidi said:

I'm feeling the pull of solitude again, not odd for me but strange given the year we've all had. The town I'm living in again has no concept of personal space, let alone social distance; masks are right out.

 

I'm wishing I had a larger bubble, in a far more remote location.

 

23 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

I feel the same way. I have noticed that other people's bullshit has become worse since the pandemic started, and I am undecided if it's because it has become worse, or if it is because my tolerance is substantially lower.

 

Probably a little of everything. I'd imagine everyone's kind of in a heightened state of crazy, whatever their personal flavor of crazy is, and has decreased mental resources for dealing with anything else a result. I mean, 2020 is a lot, man.

[Heidi]

11 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

I mean, 2020 is a lot, man.

It is, Friend. It truly is.

 

11 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

I think it’s a little of both

Yes. And some days it's a lot of both.

 

12 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Being a Hermit does have a certain appeal. It's essentially being a professional introvert.

"Professional introvert" -- you mean you get paid for it?!?!

But seriously, this is why I am a Philosopher-Writer.  

 

12 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

I feel the same way. I have noticed that other people's bullshit has become worse since the pandemic started, and I am undecided if it's because it has become worse, or if it is because my tolerance is substantially lower.

I had a friend who used to say "my crap-capacitor is blown." 

 

Yesterday's visit with Vivian at the museum was delightful.

 

I woke up yesterday with a headache at 3 and took some medicine at 5, because one of the weird things about my particular headaches is that they come with a weird inability to problem-identify and problem-solve. Basically higher order executive functioning is absent. It takes an hour of sitting in a chair and feeling uncomfortable to recognize "hey, I'm sitting in a chair and feeling uncomfortable." And then another hour to say "hey, I should probably take some medicine." Anyway, I did, and it helped. I slept from 7-9 and was slow moving but on time and painfree for the 10-12 visit. 

 

I didn't do much afterwards other than clean the kitchen and heat up leftovers. This is a win.

 

I started watching Sharp Objects, and I'm really liking it, and I chatted a bit with a West Coast friend late at night.

 

Today dawned with another round of "hey I could take some medicine" and so I took a bath first (because they really help) and then afterwards I set up some rice to cook in the pressure cooker. I might be asleep by the time it's ready, but God love the keep-warm feature.

 

I had a good conversation this morning with Jimbo that ended on "What is Philosophy for?" "Because not all answers are solutions."

 

The urge to go to the hills is still strong, but my commitment to my daughter is my Purpose.

[Heidi]

On 12/5/2020 at 12:07 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Mesa accepting this responsibility with muy muy humility and...

Thanks again to @Tanktimus the Encourager for the inspiration-reminder for food.

“Representative Binks, I know I can count on you.”

[Rurik Harrgath]

13 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

I feel the same way. I have noticed that other people's bullshit has become worse since the pandemic started, and I am undecided if it's because it has become worse, or if it is because my tolerance is substantially lower.

 

It's both, or a lot of both like Heidi mentioned.  2020 has transformed so many otherwise normal people into utter morons that the statistics are truly staggering to contemplate.

 

12 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

I'm wishing I had a larger bubble, in a far more remote location.

 

My problem is I still like knowing there are people nearby, just not within my bubble.  Mostly so I can look down and be glad I'm not one of them, nor am I out with them 🤣

 

2 hours ago, Heidi said:

"Professional introvert" -- you mean you get paid for it?!?!

 

The urge to go to the hills is still strong, but my commitment to my daughter is my Purpose.

 

Yesterday I found the term "swashbuckling introvert" for folks who can be rowdy and outgoing at times, then retreat into their shell in an instant.  It really resonated.

[Scaly Freak]

13 minutes ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

It's both, or a lot of both like Heidi mentioned.  2020 has transformed so many otherwise normal people into utter morons that the statistics are truly staggering to contemplate.

 

I don't think it made them utter morons, so much as enhanced blind spots and warped thinking that was already there. People's true nature reveals itself in times of high pressure/stress... someone who is naturally unselfish and generous becomes more so, while an inherently selfish person justifies becoming more selfish.  The pandemic has been going on for so long that these behaviors that normally are brief and temporary, have cemented themselves and people now are more extreme version of themselves. Ora truer version of themselves.

 

19 minutes ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

Yesterday I found the term "swashbuckling introvert" for folks who can be rowdy and outgoing at times, then retreat into their shell in an instant.  It really resonated.

 

That would be me. 

[Heidi]

1 hour ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

swashbuckling introvert

 

43 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

That would be me. 

What ho, does my tribe have a name?

🙂 Have you guys read Name of the Wind? I'm basically the acquisitions librarian from that story.

[Heidi]

Food today: 

2 c brown rice cooked in broth with an extra dollop of  olive oil, then seasoned with rosemary-oregano-salt-pepper and red wine vinegar. Milk of course. And I have a bowl of raw almonds nearby for snacking (it really needs some black mission figs but this is enough for now).

 

I see a kale salad in my future. Edit: probably after a post-meditation nap

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

3 hours ago, Heidi said:

 

I had a good conversation this morning with Jimbo that ended on "What is Philosophy for?" "Because not all answers are solutions."

 

As with Theology, sometimes the point is not to get answers, sometimes the point is to wrestle with the questions so we at least understand the questions better. Sometimes the strength gained from the wrestling is the point.

 

If there's a verb for paladins the way swashbuckling goes with pirates I'm a [present participle of that verb] Introvert.

[Scaly Freak]

6 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

If there's a verb for paladins the way swashbuckling goes with pirates I'm a [present participle of that verb] Smiting Introvert.

 

Obviously.