Deffy’s 2021 Battle Log: British Rap ft Doja Cat & Far East Movement

[deftona]

Deffy’s 2021 Battle Log: British Rap ft Doja Cat & Far East Movement

 

Where better to find inspiration for nailing my goals in 2021 than from my highly misogynistic workout playlist? If Aitch can be a rap superstar, anyone can be anything ❤️ British rap is a wee bit cringey but just try to deny dem beatz.

 

My main goals are to buy less stuff, look better, feel better and drop some weight because I have spent the last two years getting fat, so I want to focus on getting back to where I was so I can continue dropping the weight. These are always going to be the goals and this theme will run through all of my challenges, but each challenge will take a different approach and have different focuses as I move through the year as it’s hard to know what to expect from the year ahead. But I do have something fun to keep me on track.

 

Anyway, the first step is to get back to this:

 

 

because I would be happy to hang out at that size forever even though it’s probably everyone else’s fat picture.

 

Rain

 

 

“Right wrist to left wrist that’s rain. She said why am I wet? Girl – that’s rain!”

 

This is intended as a fun way I can stay on track with my goals by making there be something bigger at stake.

 

Every week I have £100 up for grabs. Every day I have a certain number of tasks I want to complete (like sticking to eating goals, exercise objectives, and anything else that will change challenge to challenge but after each week 0 which will be used to road test them, these are concrete and set it stone and cannot be changed until the next challenge. Every week I work out my percentage success rate on my goals and this is the percentage of that £100 I can use. This can be used immediately, or saved in my short term savings account to go towards something more expensive than I can afford in a single week. The remainder of the £100 representing the failure percentage rate has to be transferred to my mortgage account and cannot be used for anything fun at all. At the end of the year, I will either have spent £5,200 on fun stuff, or if I completely crap out at least my mortgage account will be £5,200 lighter. It’s kind of a win/win.

 

Further Rules:

 

-          This £100 has to include any fun extras I would normally buy. Lingerie, bougie skin care and makeup (except for my foundation, that’s an essential), clothes, video games, etc. It does not include essentials that I have run out of eg bathing stuff, moisturiser etc – stuff I actually need, but if I run out this has to be replaced by more budget end brands and can come out of my living fund. I can use other funds for travel and experiences, I am not limited on these to how much I have in the fun fund, but all stuff must come out of the £100. If it’s more than £100 then I have to save for it. I cannot use my other monies.

 

-          This is separate and in addition to my other monthly savings, charity deposits and other overpayments. I still have my big savings goal I am working towards so the idea here is with having a limited fund I have to earn to spend on myself, I should be able to increase what I save to hit this goal earlier.

 

-          This will be accounted for in my challenges. Whatever money I have unlocked the previous week will stay in my account for the following week, and anything I don’t spend on fun stuff will be transferred to the short term savings account I have cleared for this purpose on the following Monday morning, when more money is released based on my progress the previous week for the upcoming week if I don’t utterly crap out on my goals. If I spend the money I will declare what I spent it on.  The failure percentage will be transferred to the mortgage account immediately, also on Monday morning.

 

I will know I am there when I make girls wet by being so rich I will know when I am there when I have done this every week and not spent more than I have available on myself.

 

Other Goals:

Strike a Pose

 

 

 

Get sexy! Now I use this as a catchall term but I think as a goal it’s a bit misleading. This whole getting sexy thing isn’t about other’s estimations of my attractiveness and it never has been. It’s about getting back that light I used to have which has gone out and I now look troubled and also unhealthy. Part of this is to get back to my fighting weight, but more so it’s the behaviours that led me to that fighting weight which was eating a healthy diet and exercising a lot. If I feel healthy inside, I look healthy on the outside and this is the “light”. I will measure this in two ways.

 

1)      Looking at my stomach-to-boob ratio because waist to hip ratio is so passé and my hips are very voluptuous (to put it kindly) so it doesn’t really give an accurate reading and always indicates I am a lot healthier than I am so I want to slim down the stomach and this will be tracked by a pre-challenge side-on picture like the one above because it’s an easy pic to take myself and it doesn’t show my face so I can share it.

 

2)      Looking at my face. When I am on it and eating well I look more vibrant. When I am not I look tired and the dark circles under my eyes are more pronounced. If I do track this in public it will be on Insta for privacy reasons.

 

I will know I am there when I am happy with the stomach-to-boob ratio, I get the light back in my eyes and I don’t look like I am being haunted by a better version of myself from days gone by.

 

Run Up

 

 

Finish Couch to 5K. It won’t be three sessions a week but I just want to have completed every run in the programme by 31^st December 2021. Running isn't going to be my prime method of exercise but it'll be nice to have something objective I can achieve that isn't based on subjective estimations.

 

I will know when I am there when all sessions have been done, duh. 

Juicy

 

 

This is a combination of weight loss and booty training. The point of this goal is to have an arse that when you see it from the front you want to see it from the back back back back back back back back back back back back.

 

A great arse is made in the kitchen and the gym so this will be taken care of via other goals, but I also want to prepare it for its moment in the spotlight by exfoliating and moisturising it so it’s peachy af (minus the fuzz) and ready for its internet debut. I have bought some booty shorts and at the beginning of each month I will put them on and see how I feel about them.

 

I will know when I have achieved this goal when somebody spontaneously writes a rap song about it.

 

Own It

 

 

 

Finally achieve my  exercise sessions every week for a year. I have tried to do this every year since 2016 and the closest I got was the third week of December in 2019 but I’d just moved house and I’d have died if I’d tried to exercise. But so close! I will nail it in 2021.

 

The exercise can be literally anything like yoga, stretching, walking, running, weight training, elliptical, swimming – I cannot stress how flexible this is so nothing very little* should be able to throw me off this bullshit. I need at least 30 minutes of exercise, 3 times a week.

 

I will know when I am there when my calendar is all coloured in nice and green.

 

*See I have learned some lessons from 2020. Being in intensive care on a ventilator trying to recover from Covid, for example, would be a perfectly fine reason to fall off this goal but I am writing this plan with the heavy assumption – and also hope – that this isn’t something that’s in my future.

 

Don’t Rush

 

 

I want to get better at goal attainment and I feel this is somewhere I really lost my way. I used to be good at this, good at achieving the things I set out to do but also I did a lot of research into how to make it happen. I haven’t done that for a while and I haven’t really achieved anything for a while either and there must be a correlation so I want to spend some time researching productivity, goal attainment and it would also really help if I could figure out what I want. It’s not about getting there tomorrow, it’s about slowing down, building sustainable habits and growing slowly. Don’t rush!

 

I will know I am there when I feel more prepared as I have approached my goals like the nerd I am.

 

Go To Town (On My Book Stash)

 

 

It’s been aaaaages since I achieved my Goodreads goal, but with all the efforts I plan to put in making sure I know all about goal achievement and stuffs this should be easier. 25 books. The same as last year.

 

I will know when I have achieved this when I have finished 25 books or more.

 

Like A G6

 

 

 

At the end of every month, write down every single worry I currently have. I saw this idea on Twitter, and the person who did it said it was less about reflection and more about seeing how many of his worries dissipated on their own without any action being taken, to show that the majority of worries are in fact fleeting and unnecessary. I want to do the same.

 

Also, if the clubs open up in 2021 I am going to party like I'm 17 again. It's going to be so freaking messy so that's an extra goal for this.

 

I will know when I have achieved this when I feel so fly like a G6.

[Renate]

 

Here for the Deffy effect! Get it!

 

1 hour ago, deftona said:

I will know I am there when I feel more prepared as I have approached my goals like the nerd I am.

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

I love this. You are gonna rule 2021 like the Queen you are!

[Sloth the Enduring]

I’ve got a rhyming dictionary.  Post a vid of your ass and I’ll write a rap about it.  

[deftona]

23 hours ago, Aθena said:

Here for the Deffy effect! Get it!

 

The Deffy Effect sounds great, what is it?!

 

17 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I love this. You are gonna rule 2021 like the Queen you are!

 

Yaaaaargh! 

 

 

3 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I’ve got a rhyming dictionary.  Post a vid of your ass and I’ll write a rap about it.  

 

This doesn't sound very spontaneous but I might take you up on it if it doesn't happen organically in the street or something.

[Renate]

5 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I’ve got a rhyming dictionary.  Post a vid of your ass and I’ll write a rap about it.  

 

I want to be a co-writer! 

[Renate]

2 hours ago, deftona said:

The Deffy Effect sounds great, what is it?!

 

It has several definitions (draft versions):

 

(1) n. form. - long-lasting power-up, during which one is capable of achieving great things, more specifically by using wrestling badasses and music, driven by the aspirations to not-be-a-trash-of-a-human-being (as phrased by Deffy herself, citations needed) & an unapologetic desire to keep it juicy.

 

(2) n. inf. - an area of effect, where one gets spurred on by Deffy's example to do the same (in the way that works for them).

 

Like "mah man" Stic likes to say:

 

Spoiler

"(...)
Good books to read, tea to sip, good vibes and friendship

Wise words, pretty lips, smarty pants and them curvy hips
Back side like, "bong bong", self-aware like Don Juan
She ain't ashamed of her nerd side, her body and her mind fine
And I can't be no wise guy, but her head game is Einstein"

 

And also:

"See, I ain't got to get in your blouse
It's your eye contact that be getting me aroused
When you show me your mind, it make me wanna show you mines
Reflecting my light, when it shines, just taking our time

Before the night's through, we could get physical too
I ain't trying to say I don't wanna fuck, cause I do
But for me, boo, making love is just as much mental
I like to know what I'm getting into"

 

 

 

[deftona]

10 minutes ago, Aθena said:

It has several definitions (draft versions):

 

(1) n. form. - long-lasting power-up, during which one is capable of achieving great things, more specifically by using wrestling badasses and music, driven by the aspirations to not-be-a-trash-of-a-human-being (as phrased by Deffy herself, citations needed) & an unapologetic desire to keep it juicy.

 

(2) n. inf. - an area of effect, where one gets spurred on by Deffy's example to do the same (in the way that works for them).

 

Like my man Stic likes to say:

 

"(...)
Good books to read, tea to sip, good vibes and friendship

Wise words, pretty lips, smarty pants and them curvy hips
Back side like, "bong bong", self-aware like Don Juan
She ain't ashamed of her nerd side, her body and her mind fine
And I can't be no wise guy, but her head game is Einstein"

 

Aw that's lovely - thank you! 

 

Also, if this is your covert audition for resident rapper then you've just been shortlisted. 

[Shello]

Great goals!  2021 is THE year!