[Renate] 2021: Getting Out of the Tutorial Zone

[Elastigirl]

You absolutely should  class yourself as a multi class warrior. 

[Scaly Freak]

4 minutes ago, Athena said:

The people that took on the task of educating me and the other 2 new employees are not unreasonable btw. Nobody shouted, and as often as I repeated that "not exciting" line in my head, it did not sound accusing or snarky.

 

The person who said that was just observing and immediately offered a solution: to go through the model with me. And when I said it is not perfect how I am working on a day I cannot ask my questions easily, we immediately looked at out schedules and if there is a free desk on another day. 

 

And the other person (with whom I share a room) is happy I am not scared off by a complex case and am happily nerding out with her, and brainstorming, however "well" I remember the study material or not. 👍 As far as I can tell.

 

This is great! Take full advantage of the fact you are surrounded by experienced employees who actually want to help you (within reason, of course, they still have to do their own jobs) and learn as much as you can about everything they are willing to share. There is no such thing as learning too much when you're new. 

 

7 minutes ago, Athena said:

And keep my eyes open for how I am being treated, despite my good impressions so far!

 

Also this. You learn quickly, young padawan.

[Mad Hatter]

13 hours ago, Athena said:

And eff off, Imposter Syndrome!

 

Excellent recovery!

 

I don't know if I've said this already, but sometimes I wish my past self had had the support of people like your mum and @Scaly Freak 🙂 Then again, maybe I wouldn't have listened haha. But it's very inspiring to see how openly and bravely you're fighting your insecurities, and letting people help.

[Scaly Freak]

5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I don't know if I've said this already, but sometimes I wish my past self had had the support of people like your mum and @Scaly Freak 🙂 Then again, maybe I wouldn't have listened haha. But it's very inspiring to see how openly and bravely you're fighting your insecurities, and letting people help.

 

Considering your past self would have received "assistance" from Past Scaly Freak, you should probably be grateful you were spared that special brand of horror  

[Renate]

A part of me needs to read about this type of "outlaw logic" , I think

 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52838315-greenlights?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=N1Ydxg580Z&rank=1

 

I read the Blink of this book and it really stuck with me about how the author's mother told highschool him to enter a poetry competition with someone else's poem. "What is the worse that can happen? they take away your prize?" And indeed he won and kept the prize, I think.

 

I would say it also would mean, if caught, your general integrity would be breaking off every time someone notices such a thing,

 

but I know from experience a lot of people can get away with a lot of things with the innocent big heart "I don't mean bad" aaaalmost-robinhoodesque type of flaire, if they have it.

 

I don't ever want to have outlaw logic, but the spirit of believing everything is conspiring for me to succeed (while I do my thing) isn't a terrible attitude to have 🤷‍♀️

[Renate]

20 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

You absolutely should  class yourself as a multi class warrior. 

 

I guess the votes are counted! I am in! ;D

 

6 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

 

Excellent recovery!

 

I don't know if I've said this already, but sometimes I wish my past self had had the support of people like your mum and @Scaly Freak 🙂 Then again, maybe I wouldn't have listened haha. But it's very inspiring to see how openly and bravely you're fighting your insecurities, and letting people help.

 

❤️

 

It's a bit of a mix, yeah. I actively seek out mentorship, or frame even ill-meant things as lessons if I can,

 

I like learning from other people's succeses&mistakes first, before I conclude I need to make my own to learn something...

 

and have learnt and (with great difficulty ) accepted JUST how much I am influenced by who I have around me. 

 

So I always have my ears open and try to surround myself with those whose traits I admire It sounds a bit opportunistic that way but meh. I always end up using my newly acquired skills and whatnot, when I have the spoons, to support others too so 🤷‍♀️

 

But I think if you would have met my mom by some chance at a job or through social contacts or whatever even back then when you did not ask for help, she had lots of different approaches for all sorts of people. And she would have recognised that wanting to do everything on her own

 

Ahh she had quite a few years where she spent her time and qualities on people who did not deserve it at all so  I always enjoy day dreaming about her having more of the cool people to fill up her extrovert tank  

 

(There were and are cool friends but they were fewer or further away or busy with their own things and my protective daughter streak of course remembers the users more! )

 

 

1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

Considering your past self would have received "assistance" from Past Scaly Freak, you should probably be grateful you were spared that special brand of horror  

 

You mean you were always awesome but simply with less lessons to share?

[Scaly Freak]

16 minutes ago, Athena said:

You mean you were always awesome but simply with less lessons to share?

 

Um. Suuuure. Let's say that is why.  

[Mad Hatter]

15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Considering your past self would have received "assistance" from Past Scaly Freak, you should probably be grateful you were spared that special brand of horror  

Then again, I would've been much stupider then too, so maybe your horror would be my wisdom.  

[Renate]

On 2/18/2021 at 5:42 PM, Athena said:

It's a bit of a mix, yeah.

 

I forgot to say: what makes it a MIX is that I also have the luck of being surrounded with people who are good with people skills, with people from young to old,

 

and also that there is a flip side: my eagerness to LEARN can turn into passiveness and too much looking around me if someone has the answer or not and less DOING and learning and trusting in my base knowledge and competence that I will be able to figure things out,

 

and allowing myself to (wait for it) EXPERIMENT, so what if I could have asked and done it right the first time? Or even the third time? For goodness sake, there are people who literally high risk gamble with people's life savings and keep on doing it even if they fail. 

 

Spoiler

 

And so nowadays I am trying to learn and chill because, especially at this point in life, there is very little that is relevant to me right now that I have left to learn out of books... Or from people even, because the things coming on my path are very casuistic...

 

Most I can learn best from DOING. Yes, checking resource material, reading, but then doing doing doing.

 

 

My point being, it really does not matter what was and what is. There are pluses and minuses to either approaches...

And my confidence is definitely boosted that I inspire, but mostly I find it so awesome that we are all finding things we like in one another, and share experiences, and try to distill something that might work for us, or just read and enjoy. 

 

Graaaaatituuuude is felt today. (It was felt yesterday too but I was so tired so could not find the words  )

[Renate]

On 2/18/2021 at 11:21 AM, Mad Hatter said:

 how openly and bravely

 

Btw thank you 😊 

 

***

 

Finally had the desire to continue in the 7 habits book these days, and this is smth I really need to hear:

 

"I believe that a life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth. I do not agree with the popular success literature that says that self-esteem is primarily a matter of mindset, of attitude -- that you can psyche yourself into peace of mind.

Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.

 

There is also the intrinsic security that comes as a result of effective interdependent living. There is security in knowing that win-win solutions do exist, that life is not always “either/or,” that there are almost always mutually beneficial Third Alternatives. There is security in knowing that you can step out of your own frame of reference without giving it up, that you can really, deeply understand another human being. There is security that comes when you authentically, creatively, and cooperatively interact with other people and really experience these interdependent habits.

"

 

Because I am really good at this, despite being insecure in outside situations...

 

I know how to pick the people close to me, and who to let in, and I am very intrinsically secure in letting other people's views in and Seeking First to Understand & finding third alternatives, as covey calls it,

 

(though I do tend to go for win-loses, lose for me, when I used to misjudge who I let in... I just don't let in people who do not aim to go for win-wins when I communicate to them I am not attacking, if they go in defensive mode.

 

but I am working on this.)

 

but Idk how to get that instrinsic security to be more allround...

 

probably by investing more in myself health wise and mental health wise & keeping my Whys in plain sight...

 

Knowledge (incl. sharing it), Family (chosen regardless of blood lines), Wisdom (through life experiences and allowing it to surface in stillness), Fun, off the top of my head but I will have to check the precise wordings if they differ from what I wrote down when i had sat down to think....

 

Meh, I don't want the week to start. I don't want to face the results of my poor energy/time management: deadline creeping in, not being prepared well enough for the lecture on Thursday because of work on Wednesday (and little time on Monday and Tuesday),

 

e-mail stuff,

 

struggling to get to bed on time.

 

But I will do it all anyway. (Is what I am saying for morale.)

 

And I will try to enjoy the moments and channel my inner nerd and curiosity rather than the Dread.

 

At least I look forward to moving in the morning

 

 

[Renate]

Great, I missed the planning moment yesterday evening, I made a new planning after my team mate and I turned in our assignment... finihed it at 5:40 pm when it was time to go make dinner eat it and play time. Now it is 8 pm and I neeeed to wash my hair and go to bed on time for 6 am wake up time tomorrow

 

oh well

 

It's good to have in a table what I would have wanted to do ideally at least lol. Otherwise it wouldve floated in my brain right?

 

Now to get going with that hair washing. 

[Renate]

Survived the Wednesday. Having trouble getting started with super busy Thursday.

 

Time to do a dance, brush teeth & get my desk set up and DO IT

 

Watching Yulia dance always makes me happy.

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Renate]

Had a real cookie and pasta binge week this week. Probably combo between sharkweek and deadlines and stuff. 

 

I am tired of carrying this extra weight around. Am probably going to engage Salads/veggie pan meals and Proteins mode again next week. I miss the way I felt eating that way. (Now to get to execution of this plan, maybe by... Having a salad with fish with dinner and a smaller portion of the leftover macaroni.)

 

 

[Mad Hatter]

On 2/25/2021 at 9:40 AM, Athena said:

Watching Yulia dance always makes me happy.

Wow great dancers! But such a confusing dance style, have no idea what I just watched. 😄

[Renate]

Yay, I drew a pink-and-purple boat at sea with oil pastels (we had bought to use with my sis) & on my new table easel.  It was fun!

 

After this sharkweeky week with deadlines & presentation &  brain weasels,

 

during which I unfortunately had little desire to care for myself in other ways than allowing myself to eat (almost) whatever I wanted,

 

I feel ready to get back on the nutrition and exercise bandwagon again! 

 

Which will start by me getting to bed in time!

 

Workout in the morning, make a big dent in the freggie pile in the fridge that will otherwise go bad soon...

 

 

[Mad Hatter]

31 minutes ago, Athena said:

Yay, I drew a pink-and-purple boat at sea with oil pastels (we had bought to use with my sis) & on my new table easel.  It was fun!

Sounds wonderful! 🤩

[Renate]

Ohhh work wise a subpar day but I did get a full KB beginner's workout in while trying to stop binge watching a series AND got a 20 minute walk in.

 

AND had a biiiig salad with canned tuna rolls in tandoori sauce!

 

(Breakfast was pancakes with chocolate paste and dinner was first fast good burger and milkshake, then a carrot- then first yoghurt  then milk and lots of cereal.)

 

Somehow it's 11.10 pm again and I know I will procrastinate like yesterday if I try to do smth good-for-me-before-bed sooo... Time to brush teeth, drink water and simply go to bed 😅

[Renate]

Hey, me, I thought we agreed you would give yourself a break from the Judging this year so you can truly Experiment?

 

Yeah, OF COURSE that would lead to the occassional Netflix binge watch in the middle of deadlines. OF COURSE this is the time your resilience would be tested by your mother going on a baking spree after years of not being inspired to do a lot more than the necessary in the kitchen. So what.

 

We carry on 😁

 

[Renate]