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[Athenα] A Woman Who Conquers Herself is Greater


Athena

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Week 2

 

Sunday

Cravings reflection: ... Bit of a mindless eating day, probably because my reflecting was more aimed at the above self-analysis...  And also a tiny bit of FOMO, again. Even though I managed to think a few times: "It doesn't make sense to give myself even less of a good start tomorrow". Breaaathe, me, breathe! Oh, now I remember I did avoid eating ALL theice cream today. Cool. I only snacked on some handfuls of these corn flower flips. Okay, wait a minute. We had pizza for lunch and I ate 3/4ths of one :D  It is what it is.  

 

Does the protocol work? Did not initiate it because I gave myself a pass.

 

Did I stretch/mobility train? No. Giving myself another rest day? Also, today was girls' night with am attempt at a sleepover with my sis. Should've done the stretches during the day.

 

EDIT: Wait, I forgot that I DID do some mindful stretching but it was not my designated stretch sequence. I tried to do some ballet stretches/meant for a barre, because I discussed my new goal with mom of wanting to be able to stand on one leg with my other leg raised and she has some of those in her mental stretching repertoire database haha.

 

Nutrition reflection question: What will I have for breakfast? What iron rich & calcium rich thing am I going to eat tomorrow?


Daily Dare? :  No.

 

Monday

 

Cravings reflection: Lots of cravings, we made waffles for my sister :) DAT SMELL.

 

But i managed them. Drank water. Did different things. Was so tired at the end if the day. (Not hungry though, did not feel pangs of hunger at any point besides the meal times.) Only the end, during the day itself I felt alright. Did myself a favour and went to bed on time instead of insisting on doing my stretches and Daily Dare half-assedly.

 

Does the protocol work?

Yes!

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

No.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

The next two weeks I will be relying on my vitamines to get the necessary nutrients, I need not forget to take them.

This is because I will be foowing a diet with my mom, to have solidarity and do it together, and we want to do it strictly. It's basically low carb tea or coffee (no milk no sugar for breakfast), sometimes a slice of toast with nothing,

 

for lunch usually 2 eggs a day, and dinner is all sorts of salad, e.g. ijsberg or carrot and cabbage, with lean protein, sometimes yoghurt.

 

There might be red meat, if I get some, but there are no usual iron rich foods. Afaik the only calcium rich food will be yoghurt on some days.

 

I look forward to learning how to see "junk food" as a one-meal-a-week-treat. (There is a weekly cheat meal, not day.)


Daily Dare?

No.

 

Tuesday

 

Cravings reflection:

 

13:00 I slept well during the night. No real cravings besides when I smelled the steak we prepped for dinner. I had a couple of small bites and then I was good.

 

Does the protocol work?

 Yessss. Though I do think the general mindfulness about food I have been working on  is helping along tons.

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

Yes! Plus progress pictures. Only one set of progress pictures to go.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

I was wrong yesterday! I had an almost overfilled plate with broccoli (lots of iron) and before that a bowl of blueberries (had vitamine C).


Daily Dare?

Yes! Three, even. I find it fun to "catch up", and this is the only thing I am doing besides stretching and the warmup for the stretching, so.

 

Wednesday

 

Cravings reflection:

 

none had today, though I did reflect on how it felt that I couldn't share some chips with my sis and so on.

 

It helps that mom and I are alternating who preps the salads, and fruit. And both on the same regime and checking in with each other.

 

I did remember to keep drinking water and had two cups of tea.

 

Does the protocol work?

 

Yes. 

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

 

Hmmm, I was really dead set on finishing my puzzle today, so i did not do my mobility training.

 

I did do my fysio exercises for my feet like a total bawse today, kept doing balancing exercise whe standing, checked out how a graceful dance move might look, so I count today as a win in this regard as well. Need to do the mob. training vid tomorrow though.

 

DID do stretching & got photos for my last benchmarks... Despite it being midnight when I started.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

Feelin' good, tomorrow day 4 of the diet. Though I haven't tried concentrating today, called it a day off, spent time with family and on a walk and read a bunch (for my doing)

 

I am looking forward to continuing the veggie focused eating after thesr 2 weeks and making into a 28-day reset like I was considering but I need to chill out and really see how I feel at the end of week 2.

 


Daily Dare?

Yes.

 

Thursday

 

Cravings reflection:

 

Does the protocol work?

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

 

Nutrition reflection question:


Daily Dare?

 

Friday

 

Cravings reflection:

 

Does the protocol work?

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

 

Nutrition reflection question:


Daily Dare?

 

Saturday 

Cravings reflection:

 

Does the protocol work?

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

 

End-of-the-week nutrition reflection:

 

Nutrition reflection question:


Daily Dare?

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On 1/10/2021 at 10:13 AM, Athena said:

But is caring possible without feeling the care? I am used to reacting very emotionally. When I don't feel it, like this week, I don't know if I truly care or not, if that makes sense? 

 

It makes sense, and I think you are absolutely correct that you are overthinking this. :)

 

I look at it this way: When I married Husband, we stood together in front of the officiant and promised to love each other for the rest of our lives. This doesn't mean we promised to feel the excited butterflies of being in love every day for the rest of our lives .We didn't promise to feel specific emotions towards each other for the rest of our lives.  "Love" is a verb, which means we promised to behave in a specific way towards each other for the rest of our lives. Feelings are great and pleasant, but we didn't promise to feel feelings. in fact, we couldn't have realistically made that promise, because feelings aren't rational that way.

 

Similarly, "care" is a verb, which means when you care you don't feel certain emotions, though if you do that's a bonus and it helps. When you care about a cause you perform actions that help that cause. And you can feel like shit and like it's totally hopeless while you do that (though I do not recommend this as it leads to burn-out), but feeling like it's hopeless doesn't mean you don't care anymore. If you didn't care, the notion that what you do doesn't matter wouldn't bother you so much, now would it?

 

On 1/10/2021 at 10:13 AM, Athena said:

And you all cannot look into my head and see some screen that says "Status: Compartmentalising" or "Status: Ostrich", I know. I'll find it out eventually. After all, if nothing else, once I am back up on my feet Scaley will 100% still be at it and I'll see you, and I'll either think: it is time for me to look how I can do something too. Or my first thought will be: uhhh let's go back to reading a fun book. And THEN I'll know if the part of me that thinks about big issues is being an ostrich or not. 

 

Damn right I will, and you will be joining me.  Ostrich status only lasts long-term if you actively make an effort to stay away from caring actions and you are not that kind of person. :) 

 

I'll see you in the trenches!

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On 1/10/2021 at 6:24 PM, Athena said:

Monday

 

Cravings reflection: Lots of cravings, we made waffles for my sister :)

But managed them. Drank water. Did different things. Was so tired at the end if the day. (Not hungry though, did not feel pangs of hunger at any point besides the meal times.) Only the end, during the day itself I felt alright. Did myself a favour and went to bed on time instead of insisting on doing my stretches and Daily Dare half-assedly.

 

Does the protocol work?

Yes!

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

No.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

The next two weeks I will be relying on my vitamines to get the necessary nutrients, I need not forget to take them.

This is because I will be foowing a diet with my mom, to have solidarity and do it together, and we want to do it strictly. It's basically low carb tea or coffee (no milk no sugar for breakfast), sometimes a slice of toast with nothing,

 

for lunch usually 2 eggs a day, and dinner is all sorts of salad, e.g. ijsberg or carrot and cabbage, with lean protein, sometimes yoghurt.

 

There might be red meat, if I get some, but there are no usual iron rich foods. Afaik the only calcium rich food will be yoghurt on some days.

 

I look forward to learning how to see "junk food" as a one-meal-a-week-treat. (There is a weekly cheat meal, not day.)


Daily Dare?

No.

 

Embarking on 2 week adventure, and going to keep on logging my findings & being mindful. I feel like the first 2 weeks of reflecting made yesterday's smooth going possible :)

 

It might be the perfect start to go on the 28-day reset earlier than I planned but I will see how I feel in the weekend of 24-25 January.

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Some thoughts because of shaar's thoughts on dry january:

 

Spoiler

Growing up I was one of those kids being all snobby that I could "have and be fun without getting tipsy or drunk" but then I realised that is a shitty way to be and all paths are valid.

 

My main reasoning for not drinking was because not being completely in control of my actions - esp around more than a couple of close people - makes me very very panicky.

 

Also I love sleep and I never slept well after drinking. (I do like to try lots of types of drinks.)

 

Moreover,... I can ride the wave of tipsy people around me just fine, it is super fun to be around gradually randomer/more giggly and so on people (and it's cheaper) :D And I don't want to be around people that start climbing onto stuff and/or getting sick, so I need to be able to leave when I want.

 

It probs does not help that I know alcoholists, and one of my sort of traumatising childhood memories is of my exstepdad saying some really terrible things while intoxicated. Buuut that is only secondary afaik.

 

I also kind of feel like a spy when I take heed not to drink a lot and therefore be more likely to say thing that should remain unsaid 😆

 

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3 hours ago, Athena said:

I also kind of feel like a spy when I take heed not to drink a lot and therefore be more likely to say thing that should remain unsaid

 

I always feel like a spy when I'm the sober one around a bunch of drunks because I'm the only one capturing the entirety of the conversation.  ;) 

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4 minutes ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

I always feel like a spy when I'm the sober one around a bunch of drunks because I'm the only one capturing the entirety of the conversation.  ;) 

 

I did not say this, but yes 😁

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On 1/10/2021 at 6:24 PM, Athena said:

Tuesday

 

Cravings reflection:

 

13:00 I slept well during the night. No real cravings besides when I smelled the steak we prepped for dinner. I had a couple of small bites and then I was good.

 

Does the protocol work?

 Yessss. Though I do think the general mindfulness about food I have been working on  is helping along tons.

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

Yes! Plus progress pictures. Only one set of progress pictures to go.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

I was wrong yesterday! I had an almost overfilled plate with broccoli (lots of iron) and before that a bowl of blueberries (had vitamine C).


Daily Dare?

Yes! Three, even. I find it fun to "catch up", and this is the only thing I am doing besides stretching and the warmup for the stretching, so.

 

:)

 

I feel satiated, and am going to have my bowl of plane yoghurt later in the evening. I think eating SOMETHING later is helping me with only drinking tea and water in the morning... 

 

Discussing things with mom as we go through the day and how we feel snd the solidarity is helping her too, I am sure, which is cool.

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Hmmm, we are considering trying Amazon Prime instead of Netflix. We used Netflix with a gift card, to not give financial details but Prime seems to want them. 

 

Anyway, I wonder if Amazon Prime have more of the new films and shows/more complete collections :)

 

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15 hours ago, Athena said:

Some thoughts because of shaar's thoughts on dry january:

 

  Hide contents

Growing up I was one of those kids being all snobby that I could "have and be fun without getting tipsy or drunk" but then I realised that is a shitty way to be and all paths are valid.

 

My main reasoning for not drinking was because not being completely in control of my actions - esp around more than a couple of close people - makes me very very panicky.

 

Also I love sleep and I never slept well after drinking. (I do like to try lots of types of drinks.)

 

Moreover,... I can ride the wave of tipsy people around me just fine, it is super fun to be around gradually randomer/more giggly and so on people (and it's cheaper) :D And I don't want to be around people that start climbing onto stuff and/or getting sick, so I need to be able to leave when I want.

 

It probs does not help that I know alcoholists, and one of my sort of traumatising childhood memories is of my exstepdad saying some really terrible things while intoxicated. Buuut that is only secondary afaik.

 

I also kind of feel like a spy when I take heed not to drink a lot and therefore be more likely to say thing that should remain unsaid 😆

 

 

I like the taste of wine, but I also like being in control and not being drunk. I find it's good to know how much you can have, if any, before it impacts your sleep or lucidity.

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44 minutes ago, Harriet said:

I like the taste of wine, but I also like being in control and not being drunk.

 

Same! I drink alcohol, but I aim to not do it often and not to the point I start getting woozy.

 

Also, you usually drink in the safety of your home, perhaps with Mr. Harriet, right?

 

Quote

I find it's good to know how much you can have, if any, before it impacts your sleep or lucidity.

 

Yes :)

 

Spoiler

 

The problem is, in my brain, same like with my smoking before I completely eliminated it. It is easier to overdo it because it is socially acceptable. I did feel like I was in control of my habit, mainly being social and the rare cig when I am alone.

 

But I do likely have an addiction gene. And some less mental stability in my family history. And a tendency to overthink & go for either self-sabotage or nice feelings rather than face problems head on.

 

So it is easy to think; it's a bad idea to drink regularly :) 

 

(My partner spiked our hot drinks - just lightly - every time I visited at first. I did not feel anything but it was still so tasty ;O At one point my super risk averseness kicked in and ruined the fun 🙄 It felt like only a matter of time that I get used to it and start wanting to drink glasses of the stuff and it unwinds from there )

 

 

Anyway, all is good :) I don't think everyone participating in dry jan is an alcoholic to be, or all sleeping bad, or all having tipsy evenings regularly - not even if their circumstances are similar, they are not - I am just afraid *I* would become one if life gets bad and I was drinking as often. I don't trust future me with intoxicating things :D

 

Spoiler

 

(Regulating my withdrawal symptoms for the sexy times was bad enough 😂)

 

Oh and I do believe the only reason I don't go on actual food binges is because my stomache isn't strong and I hate the idea of sickness more than the snooping in the cupboard... Which is prooobably why I snack SO MUCH, I am spreading the binges out so they don't hurt me? 😅

 

 

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15 minutes ago, Athena said:

 

Same! I drink alcohol, but I aim to not do it often and not to the point I start getting woozy.

 

Also, you usually drink in the safety of your home, perhaps with Mr. Harriet, right?

 

 

Yep. I have to be super careful when I go out with other people because I tend to drink to mitigate social awkwardness and just to have something to do, and there's a real danger of me drinking too much.

 

15 minutes ago, Athena said:
Spoiler

The problem is, in my brain, same like with my smoking before I completely eliminated it. It is easier to overdo it because it is socially acceptable. I did feel like I was in control of my habit, mainly being social and the rare cig when I am alone.

 

But I do likely have an addiction gene. And some less mental stability in my family history. And a tendency to overthink & go for either self-sabotage or nice feelings rather than face problems head on.

 

So it is easy to think; it's a bad idea to drink regularly :) 

 

(My partner spiked our hot drinks - just lightly - every time I visited at first. I did not feel anything but it was still so tasty ;O At one point my super risk averseness kicked in and ruined the fun 🙄 It felt like only a matter of time that I get used to it and start wanting to drink glasses of the stuff and it unwinds from there )

 

 

Spoiler

Definitely. Sometimes avoiding it entirely is easier than trying to find that perfect "moderate" amount.  I also have a family history of addiction, and it's for that reason I won't start any new... habits... not even those ones that other people seem to manage harmlessly and in moderation.

 

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On 1/12/2021 at 10:54 AM, Athena said:

Some thoughts because of shaar's thoughts on dry january:

 

  Hide contents

Growing up I was one of those kids being all snobby that I could "have and be fun without getting tipsy or drunk" but then I realised that is a shitty way to be and all paths are valid.

 

My main reasoning for not drinking was because not being completely in control of my actions - esp around more than a couple of close people - makes me very very panicky.

 

Also I love sleep and I never slept well after drinking. (I do like to try lots of types of drinks.)

 

Moreover,... I can ride the wave of tipsy people around me just fine, it is super fun to be around gradually randomer/more giggly and so on people (and it's cheaper) :D And I don't want to be around people that start climbing onto stuff and/or getting sick, so I need to be able to leave when I want.

 

It probs does not help that I know alcoholists, and one of my sort of traumatising childhood memories is of my exstepdad saying some really terrible things while intoxicated. Buuut that is only secondary afaik.

 

I also kind of feel like a spy when I take heed not to drink a lot and therefore be more likely to say thing that should remain unsaid 😆

 

 

I'm also definitely at the point where learning to drink in moderation - being able to have fun one or two nights here and there and NOT overconsume - is going to be a learning point!  Like you I honestly prefer being one of the more sober ones to click into Mom Mode when friends go over their limits - and also remembering parts of conversations/events to retell to hungover friends the next morning when they ask me because they've forgotten is DEF one of my favorite things!! 😆

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On 1/10/2021 at 6:24 PM, Athena said:

Wednesday

 

Cravings reflection:

 

none had today, though I did reflect on how it felt that I couldn't share some chips with my sis and so on.

 

It helps that mom and I are alternating who preps the salads, and fruit. And both on the same regime and checking in with each other.

 

I did remember to keep drinking water and had two cups of tea.

 

Does the protocol work?

 

Yes. 

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

 

Hmmm, I was really dead set on finishing my puzzle today, so i did not do my mobility training.

 

I did do my fysio exercises for my feet like a total bawse today, kept doing balancing exercise whe standing, checked out how a graceful dance move might look, so I count today as a win in this regard as well. Need to do the mob. training vid tomorrow though.

 

DID do stretching & got photos for my last benchmarks... Despite it being midnight when I started.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

Feelin' good, tomorrow day 4 of the diet. Though I haven't tried concentrating today, called it a day off, spent time with family and on a walk and read a bunch (for my doing)

 

I am looking forward to continuing the veggie focused eating after thesr 2 weeks and making into a 28-day reset like I was considering but I need to chill out and really see how I feel at the end of week 2.

 


Daily Dare?

Yes.

 

1. Progress vid/pic for trunk rotation is not really possible, at least not in a way I think I will be able to compare.

 

Then I realised I care for it minimally. I am noticing nice improvement in my supine twist, a pose I find very pleasant to have in wake up yoga sequences. Might make a photo of that sometime.

 

2. Hmm... It is nice being fairly consistent with SOMETHING. Finding ways to be so. And noticing the results.

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It's Thursday 10:20 AM and I don't feel any physical cravings but I am fondly planning for my "eat whatever" time slot on Sunday.

 

It feels cosy. And measured. Unlike anything I have done before. I think this is attempt 4 of me trying to do this diet with my mom. Granted, I still have absobolutely zero other obligations -besides finally calling that firm that emailed me two days ago saying I have got the job (for 1 day a week) - but I think it is more all that food journelling and mindset work I have been doing.

 

Speaking of that job, did I mention I feel like they were just a tiiiiiny bit disingenuous? Because of me, they finally fixed their website, and around the same time I officially applied I saw a LinkedIn job offer pop up for someone that can do the work.

 

They did not tell me about it, and part of me feels like they put the job interview just on the date the deadline of the Linkedin job offer for a reason.

 

If I would have done it, I wouldn't tell the student either probably. And it is their right to spend their budget on someone with experience that can take on the job for more days a week (i.e. at least 3). So I do not hold it against them. But I had a moment when I made the connections. 😋

 

Anyway, they will (per contract?) assign me mostly family law cases is the plan, because the real estate dpt has more deadlines and that does not work with my two days a week offer.

 

But I will start out as one day a week - reasonable, since the process took quite a while and I will have a course starting on 8 Feb., - and I get to work up the two days a week.

 

It is a 1 hour commute (by train from door to door), something I was only going to do for a super desired job, but hey. I kind of like the people & the way they have their things set up.

 

And it will soothe my nerves that I am not starting out in a city-city, for some reason. It is emotional, not logical. They have a pretty solid clientelle.

 

I always want to figure out my footing in places that do not FEEL so grandiose. But if they are as they say they are, they might also turn out to be a place I want to stay, even after the half year contract finishes.

 

Any quests relating to bigger firms be damned, since those usually go for people that start out at bigger firms, I have heard. Then again, it won't be the first time I disprove assumptions.

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Thursday, w2

 

Cravings reflection:

 

Quite a few of them, which is not weird givn the caloric deficit mom and I are running on probably, 

 

BUT not as intense as they could have been, especially given the fact I ate some metaphorical frogs today and was a bit frustrated at some family things,

 

AND not getting any thesis work done. I mean, that is not her fault. but yeah, the combination usually leads me to comfort snacking.

 

Now I tried to find my center and enjoy other sensations, like breathing, stretching... A hot shower. Soft hair. and so on.

 

Also there were lots of healthy snack options. I went for rasped carrots + ham blocks & pomelo pieces.

 

Does the protocol work?

I did not apply it too much. Not drinkinh enough yesterday and today. 

 

Did I stretch/mobility train?

Yes, mobility training done, minus the left leg prepping for front splits... I got sleepy and decided I can sit and mope about not wanting to do it or make use of my sleepiness, get a head start on tomorrow by going to bed on time, i.e. before 11 pm.

 

Sidenote: tightening and spreading my toes is so frustrating. The big and pinkie toes do it greatly but when I try to WILL the middle 3 to do so, all I do is hurt my pinkie toe. So today (round 3 of mobility training) I did my best to both WILL and only normally spread my already willing toes.

 

Nutrition reflection question:

Same ol' same ol'. Following the program for solidarity, yo. And I feel good, not hungry at all. Might need to start documenting specific cravings moments if I have the same amount as today, though.

 

Tomorrow will be a fish day for lunch!


Daily Dare?

No! Drat. Forgot it.

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Gratitude spill-over effect

Ohh. The other day and today I started waking myself up gently after I was only lightly woken up by my light alarm and watch. Sleepily rotaring my ankles and wrists and stretching, tightening my eyes amd opening them etc. It's quite a nice middle way between waking up naturally and just flinging myself to sitting position despite sleepiness (which gets me dizzy some days).

 

But generally I am feeling spill-over effect from the mindfulness aimed at the cravings. Not weird considering my hypothesis the snacking and eating has a direct correlation to my mental state. But it's such a all encompassing spill-over!

 

Even down to sleep! Last night I was able to leave my phone alone, and I felt my body; of course I was in this scrunched up position. I made space between my shoulders and laid my back so it was somewhat supported by my leg position. I noticed I feel much less overall strain in my body because of all the morning warmups and stretches and mobility.

 

Since the end of december I have been straightening myself into a better posture on my own, that was because I got out of my head too of course with the gratitude.

 

Thoughts about adding running to my challenge goals

Yesterday, I uploaded a workout to my watch, i.e. 5k training. It goes on until the end of March but it's dynamic, it will change to shorter or longer depending on how I do. But then, I am also thinking: Will I keep making time for my stretches etc. if I add sports to it? And what about my writing my observations down for the day? When will I do that? I want to keep sleeping 7-8 hours ;D

 

We will see. I do feel like the daily dares have been nudging me to remind me exerting myself a little helps with mental health. But then again, the mobility training sessions aren't a walk in the park either. They have been requiring some mental forte of me to not pause 100 times, and upping my heart rate here and there, too. Since I do them twice a week while the videos are for 6x a week.

 

We will see. Benchmark run tomorrow morning, 10 mins including warming up and cooling down. (Btw, I clicked "I don't run" when asked by the app since I haven't run any substantial in over a month.)

 

 

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STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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21 hours ago, Athena said:

besides finally calling that firm that emailed me two days ago saying I have got the job (for 1 day a week)

 

I don't know if 1 day per week is exactly what you wanted, but congrats on the job offer!

Let cheese and bread and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination.

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1 minute ago, Harriet said:

I don't know if 1 day per week is exactly what you wanted, but congrats on the job offer!

 

Thank you! No, I wanted 2 days a week. Maybe to be raised to 3 when needed, but I said I did not want to overestimate how much work my thesis is. And besides, I also am a student that really needs her time for course work that is coming between Feb-April. Not because I am a slow learner but because I keep getting side-tracked. Random hour(s)-long thoughts, and also admittedly the monkey brain of course.

 

Maybe having 3 work days and only the rest of the week for studies would kick my derriere into being more disciplined but the other risk is that I get tired and stressed and I don't want to risk that. Of course, it is a luxury I can think this way but there is no reason but "productivity mentality" & masohism to not make use of it. One step at a time easing myself out of the tutorial zone lol

 

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Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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5 hours ago, Athena said:

But then, I am also thinking:

 

Haha, alright, I have another doubt for tomorrow's benchmark run:

 

after doing the fysip exercises and pushing myself juuust a little, I thought, I started getting a muscle ache in my calves that is still 2 days later so intense :D I had a paracetamol and lots of lemon water, I did stretches, and am going to keep giving my calves shakes today :') I never realised ankle raises could give you such DOMs

 

EDIT: I just read that DOMs, unlike acute muscle aches, are not caused by lactic acid. Or, "it is as good as excluded that they do". I seeee. And they last between 24 and 72 hours. Okay.

 

EDIT2: Fiiiiiinally made a fysio appointment for my shoulder and wrist(s). Yay.

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9 hours ago, Athena said:

But generally I am feeling spill-over effect from the mindfulness aimed at the cravings. Not weird considering my hypothesis the snacking and eating has a direct correlation to my mental state. But it's such a all encompassing spill-over!

 

Awesome, isn't it?

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30

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37 minutes ago, fearless 2.0 said:

what app are you using for running?

 

It came with my Garmin watch, Garmin connect. Idk , maybe you can use it without having a watch? It certainly let me check out lots of workouts where it wasn't possible to send them to my watch (some watches have a screen where they show you yoga poses etc.) 

 

Before this I was using None 2 run + the audio files, but some time ago I went on a run with a friend and (slowly) ran more than 30 mins with only walking fast maybe 2 minutes even with a couple of (albeit short and not super steep) escalations (but other running people passing me were also having trouble with them)

 

so I figured I had levelled up from that program :) Wait, does that mean I get a +1 endurance? I'd say yes :o

 

1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Awesome, isn't it?

 

doctor who yes GIF

 

So much yes!

 

My old self is still (barely) trying to utter the words: "But what if I lose the momentum again?"

 

But those words are meaningless to meee. This feels like something that is internalised and mine now. I FEEEEEEL it. I looked at the moon instead of the finger. I can see its heavenly glory. I know how to look back at it if the finger distracts me again.

 

***

 

Okay so I actually came on to say I am making a lot of progress with getting my gear on and planning my rout to Mt. Second Thesis,

 

and sitting with the discomfort and being supercritical about not leaving todos that are TOO BIG and cause more resistence than necessary and  such.

 

Some resistence will always be there, especially with getting started and the engine running but leaving todos to be vague or big... Like seeing them next to much smaller tasks while they take up equally as big lines in my task list... Is just asking for trouble with my brain.

 

Tomorrow... Will be even better. Must be. It's already half through the academic year and I need to email a superviser if I want to graduate this year dammit. Preferrably with a thesis plan. (Last ac. year I at least had a draft thesis plan by Jan. But at least I have two topic contenders. And I also was with a group and external accountability and no pandemic measures yet Jan. 2020 sooo, it is what it is.)

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
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