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The Adventures of Rhovaniel: Vol I


Rhovaniel

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Rhovaniel stood at the window, arms folded across her chest, staring outside but seeing nothing. Thick fog had gradually enveloped the small town, and not even the cobbled roadway, nor the sturdy row of shops and houses opposite, could be seen. In the room behind her, the fire crackled and hissed as someone stirred the embers, coaxing more life and cheer from it, and the hubbub of voices and the clinking of glasses and earthenware mugs was a heady sirens call. She could wait another hour, another night. Eat another meal with these fine folks, these brave souls on their own adventures, hear tales from all corners of the world. How different it all was – how different she was – from the last calendar turn. Would she recognise herself from a twelve-month ago? So much, and so little, had happened. She sighed, turning away from the gloomy prospects outside and reaching for her cloak and large pack, both ready for her on the coat stand. No, it would not do to delay any further. No more last minute scrambles, no more risking her body and sanity as she struggled to overcome poor training. It was time to feel strong again.

Shouldering her pack, she was about to reach for the door when a deep voice called her back. She turned to see the barkeep hurrying towards her, a small parcel wrapped in brown paper and hairy string in his hands.

“For the journey. Not provisions, mind. Well, there might be a little something in there. More of a ‘pick me up’, you see. Least, that’s what he tells me.”

“He?”

“Him who gave it ter me to give ter you. Not saying who, mind. He was quite particular about that. Now, I’ve got a big brunch order just come in, so you’ll excuse me. Fair travels”

He was gone again, always surprising her with how fast he could move when he chose. Rhovaniel looked down at the parcel in her hand. There was no note, just her name written neatly in black ink at the corner. The hand was unfamiliar to her, and for a moment, she had the urge to sit back down and appease her curiosity. But something told her that this was not the right time, and besides, she had a lot of ground to cover. Sliding the parcel into the top of her pack, she adjusted her cloak, settled the pack once more on her shoulders and drew the hood over her head, half concealing her face, though the purpose was to ward off the persistent cold. Finally, she took hold of the doorknob, twisted it and stepped outside before she could convince herself otherwise. The contrast in temperature was relentless, but as she slowly left the town behind and began to cross into the wilderness, she began to relax, and as her breath rose in frozen clouds in front of her, a smile tugged at her lips. Adventure lay ahead.

 

Foggy Day, Meteora, Greece - Travel Past 50 

 

 

So, it is once again a new year – or it will be soon. I’ve had my goals thought about and pinned down for a while now, but I suppose as they are goals for the year ahead, they count as New Year Goals. This is not an exhaustive list of goals, some are private and some I’m having second thoughts on, but I’ll add these to my signature line to remind me always of where I’m going, even when the fog is thick and it’s too cold to think straight:

 

Goals for the Next Twelve Months (so long as that jerk coronavirus behaves itself and lets me play)

 

1.      Run 3 full laps of Oblivion (Nuclear Races). I ran 2 laps last year - well, a couple months ago because it was moved to October – and I think that with a little more training, and having a wonderful ranger pit crewing for me, I can get three laps this time. I want to be as trained for this as possible, and I don’t want to keep having to walk long stretches, or worse fail/skip obstacles because of my lack of strength. Each lap is 12km, so I need to be able to run 36km by May.

 

2.      Run and Complete Man vs Lakes. This is a hilly trail race in the Lake District, of up to 30 miles and no less than a marathon distance (it varies because we have to cross Morecambe Bay and the exact route depends on the tide and weather). I feel like I have such a history with this race, even though I have yet to actually run it. And this year is my last shot because I think there’s rumours of it being the last year. The year I signed up to do it, I had to postpone due to injury/lack of preparation and marshalled it instead. Then, I was meant to run it last year but COVID postponed it, so I’ve been waiting a fair while to do this!

 

3.      Achieve a full, unassisted pull-up and achieve 10 or more unbroken push-ups. I’m putting these two together because of their similarities, and the fact that both are bodyweight ‘benchmarks’ I want to reach.

 

4.      Write at least 90,000 words of a novel. Yikes, there’s the big one. There’s the one I almost didn’t put down on this list and relegated to private. But honestly, it’s not and I need the accountability. I have wanted to put pen to paper and create stories that captivate, transport and enchant people for years and years and I just haven’t. I feel – I fear – that I’ve lost the ability to write, if I ever had it. I loved writing, and now I don’t know where to begin. But I will attempt to find my way, find my voice, and fulfill a dream. Which leads nicely onto number 5…

 

5.      Read at least 20 different books (re-reads are encouraged but don’t count twice). If I want to write, I must read. I must become the avid reader I once was, though without losing sleep and gaining a sore butt from sitting on the bathroom floor at night because that was where it was least suspicious for there to be a light on… Fun fact, my first read through of Lord of the Rings was on that floor. I wasn’t supposed to be reading it because it was ‘too old for me’. 

 

 

See, the thing is that I am actually not that strong, and not that fit, at all. Not nearly as much I want to be, not nearly enough to do the events I want to do, have the lifestyle I want to have, and while in many ways I feel like I’m back at square one, in reality, I have so much more experience and understanding of my own pitfalls and areas of weakness – in a much more objective way – than me simply saying ‘oh, I’m unfit’. I know what I can and can’t do, and I know it’s a lot less than what I want it to be. This year, I aim to change this.

 

So, that’s the 2021 Goals. Now for the 5 Week Challenge. I’m using each one as a handy ‘training block’, where I can evaluate – hopefully with a bit of external insight – what is working, and what is not. My first race should fall within the 4th challenge, so there is time to train and tweak.

 

Vol I: Origin

-         Get to a ‘writing’ stage of a novel. This gives me 5 weeks to research, plan, tweak, despair and grit my teeth enough to have some semblance of a plot to work with. It doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be something I can use to teach myself this craft once more.

-         3- 4 x runs per week. Honestly, this one will be more than I usually do, and I need to take it slow. No mileage goals, I just need to listen to my body, and get it used to this new normal. I will aim for an easy run of at least 5km per week though. I usually work and think in miles. I like miles. Miles make sense to me in a way kilometres tend not to… but Oblivion is tracked in kilometres, and I’m not sure about MvL, so I’m trialing switching to kilometres. We’ll see. I may go out of my mind.

-         Daily yoga and use massage gun after runs. This is my main injury prevention method for now. I am cautious of my hip, and when I ran more, I had a tendency to develop excruciatingly tight calves. I am hoping the increased mobility work as well as the massage gun (think foam roller but slightly less torturous) will ward off any mishaps there.

-         3 x Strength/CF sessions per week. This is mostly subject to Tier restrictions, but I have a set of dumbbells and a pull up bar I can make use of, if the sessions planned on zoom don’t align with my schedule.

-         Read at least 2 books. Simples.

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"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn

 

Epic Quest: In the Footsteps of the Dúnedain: Aragorn's Journey

Current Challenge: Rhovaniel looks Inwards, to change Outwards

Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 1415|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26

 

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I can put in a pre-order for your novel now, right?

 

Heh, seriously though, you know you've got my support in all areas here. And my confidence and belief in your strength, persistence (stubbornness!), and ability to achieve every one of those goals.

 

You've got this.

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

If I want to write, I must read.

 

giphy.gif

 

I really wish more people realized this. You have to study the craft. Yes, nearly everyone can write, but not everyone can write well, and they especially can't write well if they haven't read enough great writing to see what that looks like.

 

2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

See, the thing is that I am actually not that strong, and not that fit, at all. Not nearly as much I want to be, not nearly enough to do the events I want to do, have the lifestyle I want to have, and while in many ways I feel like I’m back at square one, in reality, I have so much more experience and understanding of my own pitfalls and areas of weakness – in a much more objective way – than me simply saying ‘oh, I’m unfit’. I know what I can and can’t do, and I know it’s a lot less than what I want it to be. This year, I aim to change this.

 

I am so damn proud of you for gaining this wisdom and for recognizing it. I know you've overcome a lot this past year, and I am encouraged and inspired by the hope you have for next year.

 

Let me know if I can help in any way.

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Who am I? -- My NF Character

Current Challenge: WolfDreamer, The Mad Poet, Becomes Superhuman

Past Challenges: 

Spoiler

Winter is ComingWolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the PeopleWolfen Strengthens His ChakrasWolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental ToughnessWolfen Joins the Wander SocietySoulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger ThingsWolfen Becomes a Warrior EliteWolfen Goes Here and There and Back AgainWolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior EliteWolfen Returns to His RootsWolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and BodyWolfen Owns the DayWolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His LifeWolfen Hits the TrailsWolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the ResistanceWolfen Goes Back to the SourceWolfen Begins the Hero's JourneyWolfDreamer Returns to the People,  WolfDreamer Pushes BackWolfDreamer PrioritizesBurpees, Books, and BrainworkBurpees, Books, Brainwork, and BodyworkWolfDreamer Masters the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Returns to SpartaWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth AdventureWolfDreamer and the FallWolfDreamer Forges His Own PathWolfDreamer Has HopeWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals MoreWolfDreamer Embraces His Wild PoetThe Mad Poet Becomes Supernatural

I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy

"I feel love rising in my chest again
Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane"

"...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b

 

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I love these goals and I am so proud of you - you really have gained so much wisdom and experience in the past year or two, and I am so excited to see how you use it to boost yourself up toward your next set of goals. You always were, and always will be, a badass Ranger!

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SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART

The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 48

Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek 

"Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers

 

2021 Books in Progress:

How We Love (82%)  |  Talking Back to Purity Culture (64%)  |  Rhythms of Renewal (60%)  |  Beholding and Becoming (19%)  | What Did You Expect? (36%)  |  A Gentle Answer (0%) 
 

2021 Books Completed:
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets  |  Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban  |  Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire   |  Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix  |  Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince  |  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows  |  Lady Windermere's Fan 

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10 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

See, the thing is that I am actually not that strong, and not that fit, at all.

 

First off, let me just say how much I enjoyed your narrative!  I'm glad to have taken a break when I did  :) 

 

Secondly, none of us have achieved perfection because no such Fitness Nirvana is achievable.  So even if we aren't at the 'we all start somewhere' phase, regardless of how far along the journey we find ourselves, it's a journey with a real destination.  I say, embrace the journey!  I'm excited to watch you conquer those goals along the way.

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 [ Level ?? ] Thunderbro Maximus of the Thunderlords Legion

BRUTALITY 13 | FINESSE 12 | GRIT 13  | INSIGHT 15 | MOXIE 13

Challenges1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR.

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wolfpool.

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager.

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7 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

I can put in a pre-order for your novel now, right?

 

Heh, seriously though, you know you've got my support in all areas here. And my confidence and belief in your strength, persistence (stubbornness!), and ability to achieve every one of those goals.

 

You've got this.

 

Lol - I think you *just* about out-stubborn me at times, but it's a close one! I truly appreciate the support :)

 

 

7 hours ago, Salinger said:

Rho, i can not wait to see you reach all these goals!! Excited to see you improve and work hard ❤️ 

 

You are awesome xx

Thanks Sal! Likewise, you are also awesome!

 

 

7 hours ago, WolfDreamer said:

 

giphy.gif

 

I really wish more people realized this. You have to study the craft. Yes, nearly everyone can write, but not everyone can write well, and they especially can't write well if they haven't read enough great writing to see what that looks like.

 

 

I am so damn proud of you for gaining this wisdom and for recognizing it. I know you've overcome a lot this past year, and I am encouraged and inspired by the hope you have for next year.

 

Let me know if I can help in any way.

I think that was one of my main takeaways from creative writing classes at uni. You need to study the craft, and you need to remind yourself what it feels like to lose yourself in a story (and then go back and try and figure out what the author did so you can write about it in your essay ;)) Seriously though, I love reading, I love that slightly disjointed feeling I get when I finish a book and can't believe the time, that so many hours have gone by, and the weird sensation as I get used to the world I am in rather than the one I was just in.  I appreciate the offer of help, thank you! Right now, its a goal I have no idea if I can pull off or not. But therein lies the challenge. 

 

And thanks. Hope and courage and kindness - to myself and others - is how I want to go into this next year. I know that I am in for a really, really rough time in a few months, but I am hopeful that my goals, and my determination to just. keep. moving. will get me through. 

 

5 hours ago, Ann of Owlshire said:

Here for the journey ^_^

So glad to have you along!

 

5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I really want to know what's in that parcel.

You will have to wait for Rho to be ready to open that parcel. :) 

 

2 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

I love these goals and I am so proud of you - you really have gained so much wisdom and experience in the past year or two, and I am so excited to see how you use it to boost yourself up toward your next set of goals. You always were, and always will be, a badass Ranger!

Thank you! That means a lot. 

 

34 minutes ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

First off, let me just say how much I enjoyed your narrative!  I'm glad to have taken a break when I did  :) 

 

Secondly, none of us have achieved perfection because no such Fitness Nirvana is achievable.  So even if we aren't at the 'we all start somewhere' phase, regardless of how far along the journey we find ourselves, it's a journey with a real destination.  I say, embrace the journey!  I'm excited to watch you conquer those goals along the way.

Ah, thanks! I'll try to keep on top of it, not least because its so much fun to write :) 

This is true. There is no 'end point' until they start shoveling dirt on top of the coffin. I'm excited too, excited to see where my dreams and my determination take me. 

 

 

 

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"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn

 

Epic Quest: In the Footsteps of the Dúnedain: Aragorn's Journey

Current Challenge: Rhovaniel looks Inwards, to change Outwards

Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 1415|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26

 

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2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Lol - I think you *just* about out-stubborn me at times, but it's a close one!

 

I am very proud of that, and hey, gotta keep you on your toes!

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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Wriggling in to follow! I like the breakdown of the yearly goals and then the challenge goals. Smort.

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20 hours ago, MindsEye said:

If your forum posts are anything to go by, the novel's gonna be well worth the read! Excited to see how this pans out for you, following :D

Thank you! I appreciate that :)

 

18 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

I am very proud of that, and hey, gotta keep you on your toes!

 

That you do, my dear friend. That you do.

 

16 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Wriggling in to follow! I like the breakdown of the yearly goals and then the challenge goals. Smort.

Thanks! And great to see you here!

 

 

So, I wasn't really going to update this until the challenge start, and actually use Zero Week as a rest week for once, but I'm all fired up and feisty. I won't actually track scores and such until the start of the challenge though. 

 

Cutest kitten ever (from aristocats... ) TOULOUSE -- Memes Funny Pics |  Aristocats, Cutest kittens ever, Kittens cutest

 

 

I went on a lovely dog walk yesterday (no, I don't have a dog, but I went for a social distanced meet up/walk with a friend who does!) and whilst that felt great, and I had no problem doing a yoga session yesterday evening, I got a weird, sharp twinge in my knee as I walked up to bed. At this point, I suspect the twinges are at least partly mental. It's the 'race belly' feeling of the morning before a race when you know you need to eat but your stomach is in knots and you keep needing the loo. I woke up to it too - fine mostly going downstairs and straight, but it gives me twinges going upstairs. I haven't done a thing to annoy it, and the hip is settling down a little, so I'm inclined to ignore it. Or at least, not pander to it. So, I headed for a very easy jog this morning, just a 2km bimble to loosen up the muscles and tell my body that sorry, but we're committed to being an athlete here, phantom niggles or no. It felt very good, and I could easily have gone longer, but I was eager not to push to the point where I do feel the hip pain. I'll work up to distance slowly. 

 

Reading is going well, which gives my competitive brain a challenge. I might finish this book before Jan 1st, so it wouldn't count for the total, and that annoys the impatient brain that wants to start right now dammit. All reading is good, and I don't wish to slow down for the sake of slowing down, so I just started a second book so I can flip between them. 

 

Writing... I have a nucleus of an idea. Well, half an idea. A character, and shadowy forms of at least two other characters. Right now, my head is swimming with if I want to focus on only one character, or follow multiple characters as their lives intersect. It doesn't help that this idea, this thing gripping me right now, is more of a 'coming of age', kinda thing. It's a person's journey through hope, grief, despair and how they find a way through to the other end, set within the First World War. The problem with this, is that I've only really written action/adventure type plots. There's an attacker or a situation to overcome, a fight... I don't know what the story is with this. It's odd, I don't know why my brain has decided to come up with it. I'm going to attempt to write the scene that's in my head and work out if its just a picture in my head or if it has more to it, I think.... 

 

 

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"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn

 

Epic Quest: In the Footsteps of the Dúnedain: Aragorn's Journey

Current Challenge: Rhovaniel looks Inwards, to change Outwards

Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 1415|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26

 

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Sounds like you’ve got the hype!

 

happy d&d GIF by Hyper RPG
 

sorry about the naughty knee, good to hear it didn’t stop your jog ^_^

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3 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Writing... I have a nucleus of an idea. Well, half an idea. A character, and shadowy forms of at least two other characters. Right now, my head is swimming with if I want to focus on only one character, or follow multiple characters as their lives intersect. It doesn't help that this idea, this thing gripping me right now, is more of a 'coming of age', kinda thing. It's a person's journey through hope, grief, despair and how they find a way through to the other end, set within the First World War. The problem with this, is that I've only really written action/adventure type plots. There's an attacker or a situation to overcome, a fight... I don't know what the story is with this. It's odd, I don't know why my brain has decided to come up with it. I'm going to attempt to write the scene that's in my head and work out if its just a picture in my head or if it has more to it, I think.... 

 

That bold bit right there is how I do the majority of my writing. Sometimes there is a story I chase from the beginning, but most of the time it's an idea or two that I put out there and see what I can do with it. And it turns out that if I want to do something with it, I'll figure out a way. I'm sure you will too :)

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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On 12/28/2020 at 12:51 PM, Rhovaniel said:

Read at least 20 different books (re-reads are encouraged but don’t count twice). If I want to write, I must read. I must become the avid reader I once was, though without losing sleep and gaining a sore butt from sitting on the bathroom floor at night because that was where it was least suspicious for there to be a light on… Fun fact, my first read through of Lord of the Rings was on that floor. I wasn’t supposed to be reading it because it was ‘too old for me’. 

Seriously?! Re-reads don't count twice? Mmm... As child I hid with a flashlight under the blankets. Now, I just sit in front of my computer. Printed books are too pricey, so I'm mainly sticking to e-books. If you wrote that introductory story of yours... wow! I love it. Please read some more! (to write more) Also love the castle/town built into the rocks.

 

I'm seriously in awe of what you've come to accomplish w.r.t. exercise and training. You are amazing! Good luck with this challenge's plans. I know you can do it.

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Zechariah 4:6

"Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord."

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22 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Sounds like you’ve got the hype!

 

happy d&d GIF by Hyper RPG
 

sorry about the naughty knee, good to hear it didn’t stop your jog ^_^

Thank you! 

20 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

That bold bit right there is how I do the majority of my writing. Sometimes there is a story I chase from the beginning, but most of the time it's an idea or two that I put out there and see what I can do with it. And it turns out that if I want to do something with it, I'll figure out a way. I'm sure you will too :)

 

I didn't write it, but I will make it a task for tomorrow. 

 

7 hours ago, MrsVan said:

Seriously?! Re-reads don't count twice? Mmm... As child I hid with a flashlight under the blankets. Now, I just sit in front of my computer. Printed books are too pricey, so I'm mainly sticking to e-books. If you wrote that introductory story of yours... wow! I love it. Please read some more! (to write more) Also love the castle/town built into the rocks.

 

I'm seriously in awe of what you've come to accomplish w.r.t. exercise and training. You are amazing! Good luck with this challenge's plans. I know you can do it.

Re-reads don't count towards the twenty. I can re-read a book I've read before and it will count, but not if I read it twice in the same year. And thank you! I did write the introduction, and I'm hoping to carry it on a little throughout the challenge. 

 

 

Honestly, today is a hard day. I went to work, and was thrown in the deep end of stress when it became apparent that my colleague did not really  know the paperwork system for doing COVID swabs, though she was in as the person to handle the paperwork; I just know how to stick a swab round someone's throat and mouth (having done it once before, that makes me competent according to work apparently 😑) so that wasn't fun, but it got done. And swabbing people isn't too hard to be honest. There was much frustration. I got home, made lunch (finished swabs at 1pm, so half day at work) and tried - and failed - to do anything. I ended up watching an old film on TV. I did get the urge to walk though (yay, routine) so I walked a route I know is roughly 5km. 

 

As much as I hate to admit it, loneliness and a sense of isolation is strong today. The government announcement today didn't help. Confirmed at least 2 more weeks of Tier 4, at least 2 more weeks of no gym and even though I am on the fringes of the community, not quite fitting in, not quite 'friends' with people, I miss being on 'hi' terms with people, miss being around other people, miss not having to think about a workout, just follow the whiteboard. I miss having the feelings of a bad day mitigated by a hard workout. Zoom, with limited equipment and constantly knocking into furniture and walls and such, just isn't doing it and as it's early morning only, this time around I'm missing even the interaction of the brief greeting before getting on with the workout. It just... isn't working for me, in the way that Zoom workouts when we first went to lockdown did. I get the need to take measures to control the spread and bring numbers down, but right now, I'm touching on... well, despair, almost. The sense of never-ending. The sense of it dragging on to infinity, and things like gyms and racing and visiting people I love and looking forward to events and holidays will be a distant memory. Trying to stay positive is exhausting me. 

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"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn

 

Epic Quest: In the Footsteps of the Dúnedain: Aragorn's Journey

Current Challenge: Rhovaniel looks Inwards, to change Outwards

Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 1415|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26

 

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May I suggest there is no need to stay positive. Your feelings of despair, sadness and frustration are all valid. It is okay to feel those things, and admitting you have them, processing them, and validating them, is how you can move through them to hope.

 

You are valid and your feelings are valid.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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I'm going to second what Tank has said. Positivity is nice, but it isn't essential. What's essential is the recognition and validation process.

 

Besides, if you do want positivity but can't get there, you know I'm happy to supply some :)

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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16 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

May I suggest there is no need to stay positive. Your feelings of despair, sadness and frustration are all valid. It is okay to feel those things, and admitting you have them, processing them, and validating them, is how you can move through them to hope.

 

You are valid and your feelings are valid.

Thanks, Tank. I kind of feel like I know my feelings are valid, but what's the use of giving way to them? Aren't we all supposed to be shoring up and riding out the storm? There's part of me screaming that I'm so sick of the storm and staying inside, but another part that says that doing so is just... detrimental. It doesn't do anything, and I should be - and I am - grateful for what I do have and am able to do. 

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"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn

 

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3 minutes ago, iatetheyeti said:

I'm going to second what Tank has said. Positivity is nice, but it isn't essential. What's essential is the recognition and validation process.

 

Besides, if you do want positivity but can't get there, you know I'm happy to supply some :)

 

Thank you. I guess today was the first time the thoughts went from bubbling under the surface to 'How am I going to bear this? It feels insurmountable and I don't have the things I'd use to cope with it.' I mean, yes I can run but even then I need to be slow and shorter sessions to make sure I don't injure something, so no pushing hard, and I have dumbbells and a pull up bar but no real idea of how to structure my workouts, what to do, no... no heart to it. If that makes sense at all. 

 

The fired up feeling of cracking on with my goals seems like a fleeting flame, quickly extinguished by the wind. 

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"What does your heart tell you?" - Aragorn

 

Epic Quest: In the Footsteps of the Dúnedain: Aragorn's Journey

Current Challenge: Rhovaniel looks Inwards, to change Outwards

Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 1415|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26

 

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1 minute ago, Rhovaniel said:

Thank you. I guess today was the first time the thoughts went from bubbling under the surface to 'How am I going to bear this? It feels insurmountable and I don't have the things I'd use to cope with it.' I mean, yes I can run but even then I need to be slow and shorter sessions to make sure I don't injure something, so no pushing hard, and I have dumbbells and a pull up bar but no real idea of how to structure my workouts, what to do, no... no heart to it. If that makes sense at all. 

 

The fired up feeling of cracking on with my goals seems like a fleeting flame, quickly extinguished by the wind. 

 

That all makes sense. Running you've got covered, it seems, and for structuring workouts, keep it simple. Plenty of nerds around here who can help you with that :) Really, the trick is learning to do it without being incredibly keen on doing it. Treat it like brushing your teeth until such time as you can afford to invest the energy heart and fire requires.

 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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23 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

Thanks, Tank. I kind of feel like I know my feelings are valid, but what's the use of giving way to them? Aren't we all supposed to be shoring up and riding out the storm? There's part of me screaming that I'm so sick of the storm and staying inside, but another part that says that doing so is just... detrimental. It doesn't do anything, and I should be - and I am - grateful for what I do have and am able to do. 

There is no supposed to with feelings. They aren't good or bad. They simply are. Now, some may be more fun than others, but that has no bearing on the feelings themseles. There is a middle ground between ignoring them and giving way to them, and that's to feel them then move on. Holding them down only works for so long (years even) but when the damn bursts, it's super ugly and often life altering. Dwelling in them isn't healthy either, I know I have stayed in feelings such as anger or frustration as an excuse not to move forward from a situation. 

 

What has worked for me is to neither feed them nor starve them, but to observe them. For example, I feel x. It's normal to feel x in this situation. It isn't bad or good, it's just how I feel.

 

You can be grateful for what you have and still feel feelings, the two can live in the same space.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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I’m sorry you’re struggling with isolation, we’re here for you ❤️

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You've got some great goals for this year - I have no doubt you're going to crush them.

 

On 12/28/2020 at 10:51 AM, Rhovaniel said:

Write at least 90,000 words of a novel. Yikes, there’s the big one. [...] I don’t know where to begin.

 

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Begin with a sentence, or even just a word.

 

On 12/28/2020 at 10:51 AM, Rhovaniel said:

See, the thing is that I am actually not that strong, and not that fit, at all.

 

I strongly disagree with this. Two months ago you completed two laps of Oblivion for goodness sake, and that course was tough! I've seen your Crossfit numbers, I've seen you run, you are both fit and strong. By all means strive to be stronger and fitter, but don't sell yourself short.

 

16 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

As much as I hate to admit it, loneliness and a sense of isolation is strong today.

 

Don't hate to admit it, it's good to recognise your feelings and it's good to share them with people. Tank's given better advice than I ever could, and iagreewithtank™, but just know that we are here for you, and you're not alone.

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"Shit is going down, but I am not." - iatetheyeti

Don't say "I don't have enough time", say instead "that's not a priority right now" and see how that makes you feel.

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