Fonzico shakes it off (shake it off)

[Fonzico]

On 1/16/2021 at 9:55 AM, Fonzico said:

To-do's for today are: 

-walk dogs

-clean out fridge

-vacuum

-at least start some laundry

-also get a start on finance stuff for business.

 

If I can manage that, I'll feel good about life. 

I managed the first four, so not too bad. I also told myself I was going to cut myself slack on the business stuff until my class is finished, so I'll let it go. 

I did NOTHING on Sunday though (other than walk the dogs) which was probably not ideal. 

 

On 1/16/2021 at 11:31 AM, Elastigirl said:

Yay for making it to the weekend!

I needed it! This week is going to be better. In a lot of ways. 

 

2 hours ago, RhiaWolfe said:

 

I'm totally down with that. I think I could use an accountabilibuddy right now. Someone to kick me in the ass to reach my goals even when I'm feeling depressed and unmotivated. 

It's on! 

[Fonzico]

Long story short, I ate like a asshole this weekend. Hopefully I exorcised some demons in the process, but I just feel gross today. 

 

BUT remotivated, so that's good. And SO relieved to be working from home again for a couple weeks!! 

 

I'm going to get groceries today and (since I actually did clean out the fridge on Saturday) fill up on healthy food options. 

I'm also going to make an effort to have easy, appropriate snacks on hand, as I'm realizing that not having good options is contributing to my deviance. 

[RhiaWolfe]

I too plan on going to the grocery store tomorrow. Let's talk tomorrow about what healthy choices we made at the store and what our plan is for the week. 

[RhiaWolfe]

Oh darn, I forgot that I have my therapy session and can't do the grocery store tonight. Ugh. 

[Emerald Eagle]

Yes! A fridge full of good food and some accessible on-plan snacks sounds like a great plan. 

[RhiaWolfe]

So I still managed to make it to the grocery store yesterday before therapy. I got some healthy foods. I picked up a rotisserie chicken for dinner. I had chicken, a baked potato, and a salad for dinner last night. What I didn't anticipate is that my husband thought that sounded good and wanted some too.... so I probably will have to go back to the store at some point this week, because I only bought enough for me for the week. lol. I also got stuff to make my egg muffin cups, but I didn't manage to make them last night. I plan on doing that tonight.

 

How did  your grocery trip go? 

[Fonzico]

4 hours ago, RhiaWolfe said:

So I still managed to make it to the grocery store yesterday before therapy. I got some healthy foods. I picked up a rotisserie chicken for dinner. I had chicken, a baked potato, and a salad for dinner last night. What I didn't anticipate is that my husband thought that sounded good and wanted some too.... so I probably will have to go back to the store at some point this week, because I only bought enough for me for the week. lol. I also got stuff to make my egg muffin cups, but I didn't manage to make them last night. I plan on doing that tonight.

 

How did  your grocery trip go? 

Great job making it there anyways! Rotisserie chicken is one of the best quick meal options ever. 

 

I'm going to have to make another trip too, because I went to the little bitty store near by instead of going into the city, and their produce department is pretty limited. 

 

But still! 

I got ingredients to make keto lasagna (you make the noodles out of a mix of eggs, cream cheese and mozza! I've never tried it before). and pizza soup (Italian sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and onions in a beef/tomato broth. You can be fancy and melt the cheese on top, French onion style). 

 

I also got stuff for salads. I made one for dinner last night, with some chicken thighs that I already had on hand. Added tomatoes, Red Onion, cheddar cheese and caesar dressing. 

 

Also grabbed a spaghetti squash, which I'll probably use with some meatballs that I froze a few weeks back. I love it when I remember to do stuff like that! 

[RhiaWolfe]

4 hours ago, Fonzico said:

Great job making it there anyways! Rotisserie chicken is one of the best quick meal options ever. 

 

I'm going to have to make another trip too, because I went to the little bitty store near by instead of going into the city, and their produce department is pretty limited. 

 

But still! 

I got ingredients to make keto lasagna (you make the noodles out of a mix of eggs, cream cheese and mozza! I've never tried it before). and pizza soup (Italian sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and onions in a beef/tomato broth. You can be fancy and melt the cheese on top, French onion style). 

 

I also got stuff for salads. I made one for dinner last night, with some chicken thighs that I already had on hand. Added tomatoes, Red Onion, cheddar cheese and caesar dressing. 

 

Also grabbed a spaghetti squash, which I'll probably use with some meatballs that I froze a few weeks back. I love it when I remember to do stuff like that! 

 

Oh man, that sounds delicious! Way to go on getting to the store, even if it's just the local small shop. I go to one like that sometimes. 

[Fonzico]

Okay, so Monday and Tuesday were still a bit off track, but I got it together yesterday. 

 

Hit my carb goal AND did 25 minutes of yoga! 

 

I did up an online order for the produce and a few other things I missed out on on Mondays grocery trip, so I have to go into town tonight to pick it up. I'll also stop by the library and pick up the Primal Gourmet cookbook that I have on hold - it's not keto, but I bet lots of it will be modifiable for it! 

 

I'll probably make the meatballs and spaghetti squash tonight.

 

Yesterday I ate the same thing for lunch and dinner - shrimp, sauteed with veggies, on top of coleslaw. Super tasty. I have a little bit of leftovers for lunch today. 

 

 

I haven't read any new chapters for my class this week, but my midterm is tomorrow, so the focus is on review. I'll go hard on the new content starting this weekend. 

 

 

Now I just need to get through today! I have a couple of mildly anxiety-inducing meetings today, but at least they are in the morning and will be out of the way with soon enough. And then tomorrow off to study and write the test. 

Still grateful for a 3 day weekend, even if it's not going to be relaxing. 

[Emerald Eagle]

I hope your meetings went OK! We have a long weekend here too. What are your plans?

[Fonzico]

On 22/01/2021 at 2:31 AM, Emerald Eagle said:

I hope your meetings went OK! We have a long weekend here too. What are your plans?

The meetings themselves went fine (one of them I had to lead, and I actually did get some positive feedback after that one, so that was nice) but my anxiety got WAY out of control around it anyways.

 

I actually came here to see if I had said what my plans were 😂😂😂 because I felt like I was forgetting something! Apparently I actually have none. 

 

That being said, there's still stuff to do - I DO need to get caught up on our business financial stuff for last year, we need to put a new apparel order in, and do some promoting, as we've been totally slacking on that lately. And I should read a bit for my class. 

 

But it's going to be a cold, snowy weekend, so I'm cool with hibernating and doing a combo of productivity and relaxing!

[Fonzico]

Thursday and Friday update:

 

Carbs: under 30 both days

 

No new workouts

 

Class: studied and wrote my midterm. It went well - if I had to guess, I probably got in a "B" range. It was tiring though, it took me almost 2 hours to write. 

 

Fortunately my ridiculous anxiety from Thursday dissipated and Friday was much better. I studied for most of the day, but also got in a decently long dog walk (and a shower haha - it's ridiculous how easy it is to forget to shower when you barely leave the house...)

 

And I'm super proud of properly getting my eating back on track the last few days. I've even avoided the evening snacking thing, which makes a huge difference! I'm back down to the weight I was before Christmas, and so ready to actually make some progress. 

 

 

So far today has been a lazy morning, a bit of sleeping in, and some Mandalorian/puppy snuggles/coffee and bailey's - what more can you ask for? 

 

The pups clearly want to go out, but it's gross outside... But maybe it's better to get it over with! 

 

[Elastigirl]

Hooray for finishing the exam, getting your weight down , and slaying the evening snack! I had gotten into the evening snack habit too. I actually sleep much better if I don't eat after dinner, as well as helping the weight. But, eating an evening snack during the long winter evenings is so tempting!

[Fonzico]

22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Hooray for finishing the exam, getting your weight down , and slaying the evening snack! I had gotten into the evening snack habit too. I actually sleep much better if I don't eat after dinner, as well as helping the weight. But, eating an evening snack during the long winter evenings is so tempting!

Thank you! 

The snack thing is tough. Honestly it has been regularly making it into these challenges ever since I started a billion years ago! 

 

But it makes such a huge difference if I can manage it. Eating lower carb definitely seems to make it easier - it is SO hard to power through on willpower alone. I need my dinners to actually sate me, or its just not going to happen. 

 

[Fonzico]

Yesterday was a lazy day. 

I did eventually take the dogs out (and to give myself credit, we went for a longer walk than was strictly necessary, considering the grossness of the weather!) But that was about it for productivity. 

 

Food was on track again - dinner was quite late, so snacking kind of wasn't even on the table. 

I ate up too many carbs earlier in the day (not over my limit, but enough to not be able to have another helping of leftovers if I wanted to stay on track) so I was wracking my brain to come up with something that wasn't eggs. 

 

I ended up making keto maki! It was so insanely good, I can't believe I've been missing out on this the whole time! I need to get more smoked salmon, because this is making it into the regular rotation, for sure. 

 

 

Today I will balance out yesterday's sloth, and actually get some stuff done. I had better report tomorrow that I got some work done on business financials. I'm so behind in entering invoices!

 

[Fonzico]

22 hours ago, Fonzico said:

 

Today I will balance out yesterday's sloth, and actually get some stuff done. I had better report tomorrow that I got some work done on business financials. I'm so behind in entering invoices!

 

I did the thing! I spent a few hours in the morning getting everything that wasn't in QuickBooks entered. I may have missed a thing or two, but it's 95% done. Now we can do inventory, which is scheduled for next weekend. 

 

 

Weekly recap: 

 

Carbs: average was 40g (goal is 30g). BUT the week started off poorly and I improved greatly as it went in, so not too bad. 

 

Workout: 25 mins achieved. Which is my bare minimum goal, but at least that happened! 

 

Class: I am now a bit behind on my readings. But I wrote my midterm and did okay (I think). 

[Fonzico]

On 1/25/2021 at 7:48 AM, Fonzico said:

Class: I am now a bit behind on my readings. But I wrote my midterm and did okay (I think). 

 

BAHAHA ye of little faith. I got an A+!

[Fonzico]

IS THIS WEEK FOUR? 

 

Day One Recap:

 

Carbs: 40g. Too high. Slight justification below, but I don't really want to justify, I want to do better.

Workout: Hahaha no.

Classwork: Nope

 

So I was suffering from some very persistent gastro-intestinal issues yesterday. I worked for a few hours in the morning, but decided to bail around 11:30. (I was WFH, so by bail, I just mean logged out). 

Tried to nap a bit, but kept getting woken up.  Ate some non-ideal things in poutiness. Could have been worse though. 

 

So it was a bit of a wasted day. I did finally get the dogs out for a short walk around 5pm, so that's something, I suppose. 

 

I'm feeling much better today, thankfully. Getting caught up on things at work, slowly but surely, which is helping my stress levels. 

 

I think I mentioned this before, but my schedule is shifting next week to having ever other Wednesday off. Although I'm obviously not thrilled about the accompanying pay decrease, since there's nothing I can do about it anyways, I am VERY much looking forward to this! Basically a free vacation day twice a month! It's going to be good for me, I am certain. 

 

[RhiaWolfe]

Hey! Way to go on getting an A+ on your midterm!!!!! That's awesome! I know I always felt the same way about my papers and tests in school. I always thought I did "ok" or I did poorly but then I'd come back with good marks. lol. 

 

I don't know that I'd call that day "wasted". Maybe you needed the break, especially after dealing with the midterm and anxiety issues. We don't have to be productive all the time. It's ok to have a down day. 

 

Sounds like the schedule change is a bit of a mixed bag. Less money, but yay for more free time!

 

(Also, I responded to your PM about the accountabilibuddies)

[Fonzico]

On 27/01/2021 at 6:20 AM, RhiaWolfe said:

Hey! Way to go on getting an A+ on your midterm!!!!! That's awesome! I know I always felt the same way about my papers and tests in school. I always thought I did "ok" or I did poorly but then I'd come back with good marks. lol. 

 

I don't know that I'd call that day "wasted". Maybe you needed the break, especially after dealing with the midterm and anxiety issues. We don't have to be productive all the time. It's ok to have a down day. 

 

Sounds like the schedule change is a bit of a mixed bag. Less money, but yay for more free time!

 

(Also, I responded to your PM about the accountabilibuddies)

I know - I need to get over my post-industrial capitalist complex that believes my worth is tied to my productivity. It's not true and it's not healthy! 

But the guilt runs deep. 

 

I'm hoping that the extra time off will give me more energy to work on our business, so maybe it won't be a total financial loss. 

But even if it just gives me better mental health, that'll be nice too. 

 

I'm frustrated that my anxiety is flaring up again. I really don't need this right now! 

[Fonzico]

Week Four Days two and three:

 

Carbs: 25g and 43g respectively

Workout: nope

Classwork: nope

 

Tuesday was definitely a better eating day. Yesterday not so much, but then my period arrived early and that made sense! 

 

I'm still struggling with overall energy and will to do anything other than the bare minimum. I napped on my lunch break yesterday, which is not a great sign - that was my go-to habit when I was wildly depressed last year, and while I don't think that's happening again (just anxiety, oh good), it worries me a little. 

 

I'm getting my hair cut this weekend though, so that's exciting and should be a bit of a boost! Just need to make it to the weekend...

[RhiaWolfe]

49 minutes ago, Fonzico said:

I know - I need to get over my post-industrial capitalist complex that believes my worth is tied to my productivity. It's not true and it's not healthy! 

But the guilt runs deep. 

 

 

Oh man, I feel this a lot. Especially right now. I'm on the struggle bus when it comes to my productivity right now. 

 

50 minutes ago, Fonzico said:

 

I'm frustrated that my anxiety is flaring up again. I really don't need this right now! 

 

I'm right there with you, only it's depression rather than anxiety. Ugh. 

 

45 minutes ago, Fonzico said:

 

I'm still struggling with overall energy and will to do anything other than the bare minimum. I napped on my lunch break yesterday, which is not a great sign - that was my go-to habit when I was wildly depressed last year, and while I don't think that's happening again (just anxiety, oh good), it worries me a little. 

 

I'm getting my hair cut this weekend though, so that's exciting and should be a bit of a boost! Just need to make it to the weekend...

 

Hopefully the napping doesn't become a regular habit again. Are you getting enough sleep at night? Do you think you're getting good sleep? Maybe try getting in a little more sleep at night and see if that helps? 

 

Yay for hair cut! I need a haircut so bad. I haven't cut my hair since before the pandemic. It's soooooooooo long and unwieldy. I'm just nervous about getting my hair cut during the pandemic. 

[RhiaWolfe]

(BTW, I responded to your message on NF) 

[Fonzico]

21 hours ago, RhiaWolfe said:

 

Oh man, I feel this a lot. Especially right now. I'm on the struggle bus when it comes to my productivity right now. 

 

 

I'm right there with you, only it's depression rather than anxiety. Ugh. 

 

 

Hopefully the napping doesn't become a regular habit again. Are you getting enough sleep at night? Do you think you're getting good sleep? Maybe try getting in a little more sleep at night and see if that helps? 

 

Yay for hair cut! I need a haircut so bad. I haven't cut my hair since before the pandemic. It's soooooooooo long and unwieldy. I'm just nervous about getting my hair cut during the pandemic. 

I think I'm getting enough sleep at night - I'm just fatigued overall. The napping doesn't even make me feel better, it's just so hard to resist. Especially because my one pup will come snuggle with me, so it's extra comforting.

 

I am just remembering though that I haven't been taking vitamin d pills all this winter - that might help.

 

I've been avoiding most things in public for like a year now! The place I'm going to has super high standards for safety though (my bff manages it) and my hair is literally and figuratively weighing me down.. I decided it was worth the risk. Which of course is only true if pays off haha. 

[Fonzico]

Week Four Day Four: 

 

Carbs: 26g

 

Nothing else to report. 

Yesterday was not a good day. The endless shit show that is my job slid further into the fecal abyss, and my anxiety was revved right up. Some tears happened, which is always super cool.

 

I incredibly enough managed to eat properly despite that (although I did have a few drinks in the evening). 

I DIDN'T nap at lunch, mostly because I made plans to meet my mom at her work - which is the public library - so that I could pick up the book I had on hold (and return a couple puzzle pieces that I missed when I was packing up the last one... Whoops!). I brought the dogs with me, so she could say hi to her fur-grand babies. 

We couldn't really visit or anything, because she was working, but it was still nice to see her. 

 

The book I got is "Atomic Habits", which I'm really excited to read. I read the first chapter already and it was captivating. It's all about the compounding benefits of incremental improvement. 

 

At any rate, I was exhausted from it all by early evening. I fell asleep on the couch at 7. Woke up at 8 and dragged myself straight to bed. 

Naturally that meant I was awake just after 4am today though... At 4:45 I gave up on it and just got up. 

 

I'm not overly optimistic that today is going to be much better but I just need to get through until 4:30 and at least there's a couple day reprive. 

And I'm going to step up my job searching from casual to semi-serious. At some point I have to give up the hope that things are going to get better.