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Hi hey howdy ever-body!

 

Hope you're doing all right.

 

I'm sorry I didn't step up sooner, but after last challenge, I didn't really know where to go. I know I wanted to do another challenge, but everything had got so well locked in place at the end that I didn't really know what to do. I wanted to take some time, if not to think, then to observe and consider, and try to figure out what next steps were necessary, if any. It took all week for me to figure out where I wanted to go next.

 

Basically, things didn't stumble into clicking just right until I made a point of scheduling things. I responded well to that - swings every hour actually turned out to be a good way to break up the day and get my other training done. I'm pleased to report that it hasn't caused me to hurt worse. If anything, I'm feeling better. I want to keep that going, and with diet and exercise mostly under control, it's time to turn to sleep and mental stuff.

 

Goal 1: Honor My Bedtime

Basically, I want to start getting more sleep. I know I do better when I have a concrete bedtime, but for too long I've been letting it be dictated by my waking time. I want to break that if I can. Bedtime for me is most realistically 01:55 for now. Further edits to be made as needed but for now, let's start with something that'll be easy for me to keep.

 

Goal 2: Wim Hof Method

This is a breathing technique by Wim "The Iceman" Hof, a famed figure for feats of inhuman endurance. I've done this before with good results, and I want to get back to it. Goal is to actually take my lunch break (since I'm writing first thing in the morning, still making sure that's locked in) and to go do my practice. It's not exactly lengthy work or anything, but it'll take long enough that doing it in the morning would be prohibitive.

 

Goal 3: Meditate

Want to come back to this again. I'm a better me when I do this. So! Goal is to do this at the end of the working day. It fits in well there when I've done it before; the reason I haven't been is because I've been too wrapped up in trying to get other stuff done. Gonna start at 1:00 per day for the first week and add a minute per week.

 

And that should do it, I think. Sci Fi got moved to Tuesday Nights, which in the long run is good for me because when I'm cleared to get back on the mats again, the MMA place will be having strike work on Wednesdays, so it'll be nice to have that time open.

 

That's the way it's gonna be. Today's goals will be something of a wash on account of just really only having crystallized this stuff in the past 20 minutes, but what can you do?

 

BTW, quick shoutouts to @Tanktimus the Encourager, @Rurik Harrgath, @Mistr, @WhiteGhost, @Treva, @Kyellan and anyone else I missed for stopping by last challenge to cheer me on. I appreciate the work as always, although I'm not always good at saying so.

 

Let's get to it.

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Here to stop by and cheer on again :) 

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Current Challenge Original 1,2,3, R 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51

52,53

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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also here to cheer on again!

3 hours ago, Kishi said:

. Bedtime for me is most realistically 01:55 for now.

*transdimensional shrieking* I am infinitely jealous of your ability to set a bedtime that humans can keep.  

 

yay for meditation goals! looking forward to seeing what you cook up for this challenge.

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Battle Log

Breathe deep.  Seek peace.  Bring a sword.  ---Kishi

Playlist for the Zombie Apocalypse

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14 hours ago, Kishi said:

Goal 2: Wim Hof Method

This is a breathing technique by Wim "The Iceman" Hof, a famed figure for feats of inhuman endurance. I've done this before with good results, and I want to get back to it. Goal is to actually take my lunch break (since I'm writing first thing in the morning, still making sure that's locked in) and to go do my practice. It's not exactly lengthy work or anything, but it'll take long enough that doing it in the morning would be prohibitive.

 

I'm excited to see how this goes for you.  I've always been more than Hof-curious but have never taken the next step beyond fairly regular cold showers.

 

14 hours ago, Kishi said:

BTW, quick shoutouts to @Tanktimus the Encourager, @Rurik Harrgath, @Mistr, @WhiteGhost, @Treva, @Kyellan and anyone else I missed for stopping by last challenge to cheer me on. I appreciate the work as always, although I'm not always good at saying so.

 

Thank you for for helping me locate you!  I always enjoy our discourse on martial arts and kettlebellology ;) 

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 [ Level ?? ]  Thunderlord of the Legio Thundaris 

BRUTALITY 13 | FINESSE 12 | GRIT 13  | INSIGHT 15 | MOXIE 13

Challenges1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR.

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wolfpool.

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager.

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19 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Here to stop by and cheer on again :) 

 

I'll take it!

 

18 hours ago, Treva said:

*transdimensional shrieking* I am infinitely jealous of your ability to set a bedtime that humans can keep.  

 

:D I have to admit, when I first wrote it up I thought the reaction I'd get was, "Kishi, that's crazy. You should set something earlier."

 

18 hours ago, Treva said:

yay for meditation goals! looking forward to seeing what you cook up for this challenge.

 

Me too! So far so good, but we're at the start of 5 weeks and there's plenty of time. :'D

 

7 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

I'm excited to see how this goes for you.  I've always been more than Hof-curious but have never taken the next step beyond fairly regular cold showers.

 

I mean, cold showers is pretty good. I find that the breathing practice makes me harder to choke in grappling. I can still be choked, mind, but the margin for error is a lot smaller when I engage regularly in this practice. It's funny; the opponent will have everything right and squeeze, and squeeze, and squeeze, and here I am just breathing nice and slow, and then they start to freak out because they're not sure if I'm dying or not and they loosen up and I explode out.

 

Except for when they get it in right. Then, there's really not much I can do but tap and reset. ^_^;;

 

7 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

Thank you for for helping me locate you!  I always enjoy our discourse on martial arts and kettlebellology ;) 

 

Hey, no problem! I just appreciate it when people stop by, and I'm not always good at saying thank-you for that. But always happy to talk. :)

 

2 hours ago, Kyellan said:

giphy.gif

 

Accept Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia GIF

 

I mean, gosh, you know, if you say so.

 

*

 

1: 1/1

 

2: 0/1

 

3: 1/1

 

So the numbers weren't as wonky as I thought they might be. Having the external motivation to keep my bedtime was good, and I figured that it'd be kind of silly to skip out on meditation if it was only for a minute, even if it was relatively late at night for that kind of thing. Didn't make time for the breathing, which, eh. Is what it is.

 

My weekend leading into the challenge was a relatively quiet one. Wound up getting breakfast with my folks on Saturday which blew my macros something fierce, but no regrets because good food and good company. I spent the day playing Hades and being relatively vegetative beyond my swings and the accompanying shadow work (although this too was at a reduced intensity).

 

Sunday was interesting as it involved some heavy political talk apropo of nothing as well as finishing Dark. I'm drawn to comment, but I'll spoiler it for those who want to avoid:

 

Spoiler

So, for those who have been keeping track, we had us an insurrection attempt on 1/6 which highlighted a whole load of things that would require way more space and brain power than I have personally to unpack. I wound up talking to my friends after the word had got out that Trump was to be acquitted again after being impeached again, and all this with the accompanying survey data about how willing the Republican party and conservatives at large were willing to go along with it, etc.

 

Two of my friends on the chat on Sunday kinda got into it with each other. One is a (the?) Librarian Friend from SC, and the other is a bi-white passing-POC who I do sci fi with; he shall be referred to henceforth as the Spaniard for purposes of differentiation. The Spaniard made a comment in passing about how he wouldn't have lost any sleep if the rioters had all been gunned down in the streets. The Librarian was very uncomfortable with this and said that he thought this was dehumanizing language. The Spaniard said yes this was, and no he did not care, because as far as he was concerned, Trumpists have devolved in their thinking to the point that they're no better than robots; an ongoing bunch of Kantian suicides who are just waiting to explode.

 

I use the phrasing deliberately, as the Spaniard served overseas during the War on Terror and had to deal with the real possibility of insurgents and suicide bombers and the like; I suspect that his training and conditioning are very much at the front of his mind these days. He also has some diagnosed emotional problems after his time in the service, and while he's managed it well, his identity as a bi-POC living under a white-fascist Presidency for the past 4 years has been really hard to shoulder. Given that the whole country right now is kind of in the throes of an ongoing trauma response, I'm not inclined to expect much in the way of cold reason from people; to the contrary, I expect feeling first, and reason thereafter, especially from this guy. The Librarian's response - to try to solve the problem first rather than making and holding space for people to have and process their problems - is not new for him; he's not malicious, but he's a little too bookish for his own good. He reads prose better than a room.

 

As for me? Well, I think the Stoicism served me well, and in particular this in combination with my attempts to be more emotionally mature. I spent my time listening and trying to understand and engage on a mental-emotional level as opposed to trying to argue with people and impose my will on the situation. I think this was probably for the best, as I don't think that my arguing with folk would have been terribly useful. My frame of reference is very different from  most people's and also from these two in particular; I would have said to the Spaniard that, as an anarchist, it would behoove him to remember that the cops are the sword of the state, and that the sword is double-edged. Much like him, it swings both ways, and it's generally a bad idea to advocate for and peaceful with the use of power that can be used against him over a long enough period of time. I think I probably would have asked him to clarify if he meant that he just wanted consistency of treatment, as we all know that if Trump had kept power despite his losses on a popular and electoral level that if black people had protested, they would have been gunned down in the streets with the survivors to be rounded up and shipped off to prison for the rest of their lives. I don't know if he would have been in a place to accept my reasoning on the matter. I'm tempted to say no, but that's because my points of reference are generally different enough that my reasoning comes across as incredibly strange to most and dismissed as such. He might have understood me, but he might have rejected it anyway because of his pain, and while this rejection would sting, I don't really know that I could hold it against him.

 

As to the Librarian, I probably would have said that his discomfort with dehumanizing people and his desire to see the good in people is fine as far as it's concerned, but it's kind of infantile because the kind of reconciliation and recognition of humanity he envisions requires a shared consensus on reality which doesn't exist anymore and may be gone beyond all hope of getting it back. We are ideologues first and most, I think, and it's way more than just a leftist versus rightist ideology. It's all undergirded by an ideology of consumption - you think these things, and someone will take your money to tell you that you're not wrong and you're very special for thinking these things and you're on to something that nobody else understands, and won't you please consider donating to our Patreon so we can get paid to tell you so? (and I'm not immune to this either! but just because I have the pathology doesn't mean I can't recognize it). There isn't enough money to be made in building bridges and uniting around common interests, and until that changes, we're gonna be stuck in a systemic Panopticon, a perpetual low-level conflict of all versus all.

 

At least, that's what I think. But I doubt I would have done so well in saying so, and like I said, if one of the parties in the argument is rationalizing a trauma response, which I think he was, argument wouldn't have been the prudent course. Holding space and understanding would have been the better thing to do. I only really picked up on that as I listened, and if I hadn't really begun trying to take some Stoic practices to heart in addition to the lessons that came before, I don't really know that I would have recognized it and done my duty to my friends. That was cool. I should pray for them. They need it.

 

Anyway, we considered what to watch after Dark and I was able to mention that we like each other and that we don't necessarily need media to mediate that relationship, and everyone was like, "Oh, dude, Kishi's right, we can be just fine and talk with each other." And since being validated is all I want, I got what I wanted out of all this with only a fraction of the work that everyone else put in. I win. :D

 

As to Dark, well, we finally finished it up, and I gotta say, it's a damn good ending to the show. The first couple seasons were really compelling, but it takes a hard turn in its third season that gets really convoluted. I was genuinely impressed with the finale, though; one of the main themes in the show is a kind of essentialism in that people are who they are and even given a choice they will always choose the things that make happen what got them to be who they are. The finale turns the whole thing upside down and finally gives its characters a meaningful choice, and given the freedom to choose something else they do, and there's something so poignant their doing so. My Librarian friend said that afterward that it's worth finishing, although he thought that the third season meant the show took a few too many laps to get there. I'm inclined to agree; as to whether I recommend the show on the whole... I mean.

 

Here's the thing: the ending only works because of the third season; another theme is duality, that things have to be one way or the other, that there's a thesis and an antithesis and that the conflict of the two makes things as they are and it's not until a kind of synthesis occurs that any real forward progress can be made. The first two seasons kind of lay out this duality; the third season then is this in-depth exploration of it, and it goes for a while. I think that if you're willing to sit through that, it's worthwhile, but it's bleak to the point of parody and I'd respect it if a viewer didn't make it through.

 

Ummmm. Let's see. Did S&S; I've jumped up to another couple sets with the 24, which is good. Played some more Hades; finally made it past the Elysium section to the Styx section, which is the last before the last section of the game. It beat me, but TBH it's kind of nice to know that I'm growing in skill to the point that my problems are more related to build than to skill.

 

In real life news, one of my upstairs neighbors decided to take a shower and her pipes decided to leak on my work PC. That wasn't great, especially since my landlord told me that was an issue that was dealt with. I documented it via photos and video and sent it along and the landlord said he'd look into it if it happened a second time. I was able to get my shit moved and get a bucket under it, but y'know. That was a thing that happened.

 

Anyway. GMB tonight. Nothing tomorrow. Traveling Nurse Friend wants to start meeting for writing again, and wants to do it on Monday nights, which I'm cool with, but means I'm going to have to adjust my training for. Can do; nothing is set in stone, but it's all gonna be a set of adjustments. Neato.

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25 minutes ago, Kishi said:

 

:D I have to admit, when I first wrote it up I thought the reaction I'd get was, "Kishi, that's crazy. You should set something earlier."

 

I mean, while that was my gut instinct, not-idiot brain said "you know, this could be a thing that works for his body and schedule, and he would know that better than anybody."

Also I prefer 28 hour shifts over the traditional call schedule, so I shouldn't really talk.

 

Re: shenanigans

Spoiler
28 minutes ago, Kishi said:

He also has some diagnosed emotional problems after his time in the service, and while he's managed it well, his identity as a bi-POC living under a white-fascist Presidency for the past 4 years has been really hard to shoulder.

That sounds impossible.  Good lord. 

 

30 minutes ago, Kishi said:

As to the Librarian, I probably would have said that his discomfort with dehumanizing people and his desire to see the good in people is fine as far as it's concerned, but it's kind of infantile because the kind of reconciliation and recognition of humanity he envisions requires a shared consensus on reality which doesn't exist anymore and may be gone beyond all hope of getting it back.

Word.  I am not sure it is beyond all hope of getting it back, but given the level of extremism that exists (and I don't think it's controversial to call it that), it may be very hard to get all people onto the same page.   From a legal perspective, people are still spouting falsehoods that have not stood up in the 99% of courts they've been put into.  It will be hard to get people believing The Big Lie onto the block that is "reality".

 

I think it was pretty smart of you to not go with the argumentative or rationalization approach, and recognize that your friend was responding emotionally.  It's really hard to use that reasonable person argument with a person who doesn't feel reasonable.  I'm glad all your training served you well in making you a cool head and keeping you from instigating or igniting an already moderately volatile (?) situation.

 

34 minutes ago, Kishi said:

In real life news, one of my upstairs neighbors decided to take a shower and her pipes decided to leak on my work PC. That wasn't great, especially since my landlord told me that was an issue that was dealt with. I documented it via photos and video and sent it along and the landlord said he'd look into it if it happened a second time. I was able to get my shit moved and get a bucket under it, but y'know. That was a thing that happened.

*shrieking like a goddamned eldritch banshee* that is bad bad bad.  Are they going to fix it and pay for damages?  Is your computer ok?

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Breathe deep.  Seek peace.  Bring a sword.  ---Kishi

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4 hours ago, Treva said:

I mean, while that was my gut instinct, not-idiot brain said "you know, this could be a thing that works for his body and schedule, and he would know that better than anybody."

Also I prefer 28 hour shifts over the traditional call schedule, so I shouldn't really talk.

 

Yeah. I mean, for me at least, it works out to an extra half hour of sleep. More from there, I hope.

 

Spoiler
4 hours ago, Treva said:

Word.  I am not sure it is beyond all hope of getting it back, but given the level of extremism that exists (and I don't think it's controversial to call it that), it may be very hard to get all people onto the same page.   From a legal perspective, people are still spouting falsehoods that have not stood up in the 99% of courts they've been put into.  It will be hard to get people believing The Big Lie onto the block that is "reality".

 

I mean, I don't think it's beyond all hope. The more I study this, the more convinced I am that the present hold of fascism in our country has a material basis. Trump's base feels like the jobs are gone, the healthcare and benefits are going to too many nonwhite people, and the opposition party isn't providing solutions so much as it's actively insulting them every chance it gets.

 

And I'm not so crass as to say that things like Medicaid For All, a Green New Deal, student debt forgiveness, or a $22 minimum wage would necessarily solve the problems on a 1:1 basis (or even some of the really out there stuff like nationalization of industry and seizure of the means of production by labor). A fascist wouldn't get free medical care and suddenly not be a fascist anymore. But I do think that such changes would establish the kind of environment that makes fascism harder to grow and thrive. Or at least, I think it would.

 

5 hours ago, Treva said:

I think it was pretty smart of you to not go with the argumentative or rationalization approach, and recognize that your friend was responding emotionally.  It's really hard to use that reasonable person argument with a person who doesn't feel reasonable.  I'm glad all your training served you well in making you a cool head and keeping you from instigating or igniting an already moderately volatile (?) situation.

 

Eeh, it wasn't that volatile. Or at least, I didn't feel it was. The Spaniard's just at the most recent stage of a 4-and-more-year process of dehumanization, and folx have their limits. He might find his way back in time. Or he might not. We're barely a month after everything and we're still in the aftershock stage of things. Don't think it's right to force a performance just for the sake of my peace of mind, you know?

 

5 hours ago, Treva said:

*shrieking like a goddamned eldritch banshee* that is bad bad bad.  Are they going to fix it and pay for damages?  Is your computer ok?

 

Well, you might be able to tell by how easy I'm being about it all but yeah, it wasn't that bad. I've switched over to a laptop set up, so when the leak happened, I was able to get everything fixed pretty quick. Fortunately, the water didn't get on a keyboard or any open surfaces. Just a little bit on the power supply, but not at a plug point or anything. Everything was okay. No damage beyond a wet spot on the carpet - got a bucket underneath it and the leak didn't last that long.

 

So, no worries! I got very, very lucky.

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On 2/15/2021 at 9:23 AM, Kishi said:

Bedtime for me is most realistically 01:55 for now

You just couldn't round if off to be 2am like a normal person?  

 

7 hours ago, Kishi said:

"Oh, dude, Kishi's right, we can be just fine and talk with each other." And since being validated is all I want, I got what I wanted out of all this with only a fraction of the work that everyone else put in. I win. :D

Best possible outcome  :) 

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14 hours ago, Kishi said:

In real life news, one of my upstairs neighbors decided to take a shower and her pipes decided to leak on my work PC. That wasn't great, especially since my landlord told me that was an issue that was dealt with. I documented it via photos and video and sent it along and the landlord said he'd look into it if it happened a second time. I was able to get my shit moved and get a bucket under it, but y'know. That was a thing that happened.

I"m sorry, but if this happened before THIS IS THE SECOND TIME! I know what the landlord meant, that since the issue was "fixed" before this counts as a new occurence, but I think that line of reasoning is BS and the landlord being lazy. 

 

I am perturbed.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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16 hours ago, Kishi said:

Anyway. GMB tonight. 

 

I'm not sure I've seen nor asked yet myself, but which program are you working on?  I've dabbled in paralettes and legit loved that bit.

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 [ Level ?? ]  Thunderlord of the Legio Thundaris 

BRUTALITY 13 | FINESSE 12 | GRIT 13  | INSIGHT 15 | MOXIE 13

Challenges1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR.

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wolfpool.

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager.

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19 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

You just couldn't round if off to be 2am like a normal person?

 

No. No I could not.

 

19 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Best possible outcome  :)

 

I think so. Who knew that being an attentive listener without need for reward would lead to reward? Someone shoulda told this to me a long time ago. :D

 

13 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I"m sorry, but if this happened before THIS IS THE SECOND TIME! I know what the landlord meant, that since the issue was "fixed" before this counts as a new occurence, but I think that line of reasoning is BS and the landlord being lazy. 

 

I am perturbed.

 

And I am resigned. For better or for worse, this is the Landlord I have. I do think, FWIW, that if he's the kind of guy who's going to insist on remote control of our central heating and air that he'd care a great deal about his property, but I guess that only goes as far as he can wring money out of us for it.

 

11 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

I'm not sure I've seen nor asked yet myself, but which program are you working on?  I've dabbled in paralettes and legit loved that bit.

 

I'm working on Elements myself. I got into it at the start of the Pandemic and liked it; they made some massive updates to it for its rollout on their app and it's even better now than it was then. Parallettes isn't available anymore for us; I got in too late, but I'm having fun anyway! :)

 

*

 

Day 3, reporting up to day 2:

 

1: 2/2

 

2: 1/2

 

3: 2/2

 

And that was really it. Got everything done ahead of time in terms of writing and shadow boxing and swings over the course of the day, and did GMB and all that stuff. It was fun. We're getting back into bent arm work at last, which is so... humbling, even at this stage. That or I'm weaker than I thought. Or heavier than I thought. Or all three! Or a combination thereof.

 

One thing yesterday was that the breathing training at lunch time actually conflicted some with swings, because I didn't want to enter into one training carrying 'contagion' from another (in terms of elevated heart rate, etc). I wound up losing a set to that, which I don't mind and was able to adjust for today by hitting the swings a little earlier and then waiting for everything to recover back to normal over about 10-15 minutes. I would have felt fine sooner, but that kind of wait time feels right based on some prior test work and... I don't have anything more scientific than that to base it on. For now, it works. When it stops, it'll be changed.

 

I have to admit, life feels kind of weird at the end of the day. Like I've been rushing and rushing and rushing, and instead of having the tension of things to do before bed, now everything's done and there's this wide-open space. The meditation helps with that a bit already, but it's still a major gear shift to get used to.

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15 hours ago, Kishi said:

We're getting back into bent arm work at last, which is so... humbling, even at this stage. That or I'm weaker than I thought. Or heavier than I thought. Or all three! Or a combination thereof.

 

I feel this in my soul🤣  In basically everything I do!

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 [ Level ?? ]  Thunderlord of the Legio Thundaris 

BRUTALITY 13 | FINESSE 12 | GRIT 13  | INSIGHT 15 | MOXIE 13

Challenges1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR.

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wolfpool.

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager.

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5 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

I feel this in my soul🤣  In basically everything I do!

 

I am both sympathetic and glad to know I'm not alone. 🤣

 

*

 

1: 2/3

 

2: 2/3

 

3: 3/3

 

So, it only took me 3 days to lose some sleep. Nice. That was more time than I thought. :D

 

Happened by accident. Sci-Fi got moved to Tuesday nights like I said so I got over to visit my friend; he made banh mi which was delicious. We stayed up talking about life and things and stuff for a while, and then that was it, because our 3rd - the Spaniard - was absent. Afterward, came back home, had time, and decided to play Hades. Made it about as far as I normally do on my first run, looked at the time, and I thought, "Oh, I can get rekt in the amount of time I've got left." And anyway, I almost beat the game on accident. So, you know, that took a lot more time than I thought it would. I don't regret it, but I'm not going to pretend that I did anything like honoring my bedtime either. It just kind of... happened.

 

I'm going to try to be more careful about that going forward; mostly, I suspect, that'll mean getting more things done earlier in the evening so that I can spend a satisfactory amount of time engaged with this thing that captivates me so.

 

At least the other stuff carried off yesterday.

 

Today, breathing and meditation are done. I noticed that it's Ash Wednesday today, so Lent's on. Decided that I'd go ahead and take up some kind of prayer prior to meditation, just to get that old discipline started up again. I guess it's either laziness or serendipity. Maybe a bit of both.

 

In any event, swings are done, GMB is yet to be done. Life goes on.

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I've done Elements, but not with Praxis. I'm excited to try it.Right now I'm doing Vitamin on Praxis app and I really like it. One thing I like about it is I can  say whether I want to spend 15 minutes or 30 minutes

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Wisdom 20   Dexterity 11   Charisma 12   Strength 16  Constitution-12

Elastigirl Endeavors, Experiments, , and Explains - Current Challenge: May 9 to June 12 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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21 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I've done Elements, but not with Praxis. I'm excited to try it.Right now I'm doing Vitamin on Praxis app and I really like it. One thing I like about it is I can  say whether I want to spend 15 minutes or 30 minutes

 

Yeah, that scheduling flexibility is really great. I should probably take more advantage of it than I do; I tend to wait until I've got 45 minutes before I get to work, but TBH that's kind of limiting on my part.

 

*

 

1: 3/4

 

2: 3/4

 

3: 4/4

 

And another one bites the dust. The change in rhythm for the week is actually really weird; I kept feeling all yesterday like I needed to get my GMB done and then the workday was done and I had all this free time. Dude, go figure on that. I could definitely get used to it, though.

 

Today looks like it'll be more of the same. Gotta get my swings and get ups in before headed out to the store. Feeling like I need a shave and a haircut - fortunately, I'm in a position to receive both.

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1: 4/6

 

2: 5/6

 

3: 6/6

 

And the next couple days came and went.

 

It's actually been a pretty quiet week for the most part. The only really notable thing that happened is honestly so bizarre that I'm not really sure how to talk about it. I think it was Wednesday, Thursday night I got this anonymous text. "Hey, is this [Kishi]? Well if it is, just want you to know that you're a sniveling little lier (sic) whose ego is obviously too big. FUCK YOU"

 

That was nice to receive.

 

It's an anonymous number, but given the one incident I can think of where those elements come together, I'm pretty sure I know who it was. For those of you just tuning into this program, one of my friend groups picked up this damaged girl a while ago, who we didn't know was damaged at the time. She wound up moving here, left her husband behind, then broke up with her husband for another guy, and fell on hard times there because I think the new guy was an ace or something? Wasn't having sex with her like she wanted to, and one night when I was driving her out to Chapel Hill to visit with some friends we got to talking about relationships - she with hers, and I with my lack - and she jokingly suggested that maybe we should have sex so that everyone gets what we wanted. Something about that struck me really wrong (specifically, it felt to me like this was how she'd got into her troubles, by making comments that were framed as jokes but would allow her to gauge interest and which she'd pursue if she wanted to) and I felt really uncomfortable with that. I kind of felt like I was getting ready to get pulled into something I didn't want to be a part of, so I distanced myself. I eventually told my friends about it, and they decided that this wasn't something I should have to put with either, so we ended up getting separated out from each other.

 

This turned out to be the wise call because she eventually got back with her husband and then she moved the whole posse up here to NC, so. If I have to pick between being a sniveling little liar with an outsize ego and an accessory to adultery, well, I think I can live with the former.

 

Except that all assumes it was her. Like I said, anonymous number. Could have been anyone for anything, and Lord knows I've failed often enough to be what people wanted that I could have some bad blood lying about somewhere. Totally plausible that it's someone else. But like I said, this swing came out of nowhere, and I've been reflecting on it and trying to figure out who it could be or what I've done that could make someone feel that way.

 

Which... I mean. End of the day, I can live with who I am. I can easily live with the choices I made; I can't control anyone else's peace with them.

 

So, that's been my week. Meditation and training and eating well and all that stuff. I took my weight and measurements today and I'm at the lowest body fat percentage I've had since I started measuring. Down to 25.2%, which is nice. I was a little afraid when I gathered the numbers, but the calculator says I'm on track, and the mirror says I'm on track too. So, no complaints there.

 

Missed bedtime last night because I had an opportunity to pick up a piece in Hades that I really, really wanted, and I was able to make it happen. Dunno what that's gonna do to the gameplay over the long haul, but no complaints. Texted some relations living in Houston; hope they're okay.

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Things like that text are why the block function was invented.

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On 2/21/2021 at 8:33 AM, Kishi said:

I'm pretty sure I know who it was

When I saw that message, that was my immediate thought.

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On 2/22/2021 at 10:35 PM, WhiteGhost said:

When I saw that message, that was my immediate thought.

 

Oh, good! Glad to know I'm not crazy.

 

*

 

Ah, wow, geez, it's been a minute, huh?  Didn't mean for it to work out that way, but life got a little socially busy (don't worry! I was a good boy about everything, I promise!) and I ran out of time to come back here and post. Sorry for that, everyone.

 

Let's catch up.

 

1: 6/10

 

2: 7/10

 

3: 10/10

 

As you can see, the goals are kind of troublesome this time around. I didn't really honor my bedtime very well over the weekend, and when Monday rolled around I wound up going to hang out with my Traveling Nurse friend and we stayed up talking and catching up on life and stuff. She and I are going to collaborate on a writing project, I think, which is super-exciting and makes me feel like I wanna bring my A-game. I had enough time to come back and play Hades, but I miscalculated again because I'm getting good enough to last a while, and that throws things a bit.

 

It's weird, because I like the world more when I go to bed on time, but I also feel like I'm doing so much between work and writing and all the other things that having some dedicated time to unplug from the world just feels good. I think the trick is to probably just try to get my gaming done earlier in the evening along certain scheduling lines, which I did last night to great effect.

 

Breathing training is going well, despite what the numbers might say. Truthfully, I know that for me that the effective dose is a lot lower than what I set the goal at, but I still think it's good to do daily. I've found that the work day is way easier for doing this, just because it's structured and gives me time. Then again, if I was getting down earlier and being up earlier, maybe that'd make it easier? I dunno.

 

Meditation's been happening. Bumped it to 2 minutes this week, so it's still ridiculously small but that makes it easier and I don't feel right closing out the day if I miss it. The fact that I tied Lent to it - and took up praying again - has been really helpful for keeping this up.

 

But, uh, yeah. Saturday and Sunday were the weekend, and I was off-schedule enough that I didn't make my way back here so much. Monday was with the Nurse friend. Tuesday was with sci-fi friends; we made it through a couple more eps of Legion and ate drumsticks with gochujang sauce. Good stuff.

 

Today, so far everything's on track. Weather was nice enough to be worth a walk, so I went. Felt good to get out of the house for a bit. Reckon I'll go to meditate for a bit before getting the other things done.

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The important factor is you make it back when you can.  Even when the drama is raging (thank you for reinforcing my hermitage).

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On 2/25/2021 at 12:39 PM, Rurik Harrgath said:

The important factor is you make it back when you can.  Even when the drama is raging (thank you for reinforcing my hermitage).

 

Eh, it's not much of a rage. I blocked the dramatic person and spent time with friends. Fortunately, nothing's blown up with these people. Yet.

 

*

 

1: 8/12

 

2: 9/12

 

3: 12/12

 

So, the past couple days have been more... on schedule, I guess. Hell of a hole I've dug for myself so early in, but I reckon I can get out.

 

I have to admit, going to bed feels boring. Even if I wake up feeling better, having even dreamed so vividly to the point of remembrance, I still struggle because I feel like my days are so full. I spend all day working and listening to the news and propaganda for my views, and by the end of the day, it feels like my brains are leaking out of my ears. In a good way? In a good way. Yes. But then the day is done and it's like the steady pull of things to do disappears. Instead, I'm pulled toward other things, and I resent how little time I get to spend on those things compared to what I have to do for work.

 

It's... childish of me, I think. Life is so much better with some discipline, and I make what I want harder on me when I don't stick to it. But it does have to be stuck to, and it's a struggle sometimes.

 

Today, I missed my window on WHM breathing. This is negotiable. Still need to meditate and get to bed, after dinner.

 

Trailer dropped today for Shadow & Bone on Netflix. It's based on a book series that my Traveling Nurse friend got me into, and I think it looks really good. Better than I thought it would look. I'm actually looking forward to it, although this does mean I'm going to have to speedread through some books to catch up (there's a trilogy and a duology that are apparently on track to be adapted, and the trilogy's not that great, but the sequel duology? Worth it).

 

And, let's see. Lately, I'm finding more use for the Daily Stoic. I'm exploring a lot of that tension in terms of my feelings and my reactions to stuff, and I'm becoming aware of the feeling of being pushed toward something or pulled into something (a la, endless doom scrolling or an anxiety to perform myself). Being aware of those things and being wise enough to engage with and question them is doing me a lot of good, I think.

 

Of course, I did trip my way into another social media fight with a friend of mine, but I'm going to treat it as a spar rather than as some kind of ideological sermon (as I'm prone to doing). Should be a good test. Suppose it was going to happen sooner or later.

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1: 9/13

 

2: 9/13

 

3: 13/13

 

Woot, got to bed on time! :D

 

And then passed out for 11 hours. :D :D :D

 

That was dope as hell.

 

Um, it occurs to me that I haven't spoke up about training much. That's been happening as I wished it would. GMB rehashed their Elements program recently, which @Elastigirl has mentioned, but that's actually kind of underselling it. The original program was built around a set of animal-style mobilizations with a couple variations of each of those. This new version of the program turns that up to 11 - there's a new mobilization, and new transitions into and out of it, and even if that new one wasn't there, they still found a bunch of new riffs on the original three. It's proven to be a lot of fun; I tend to combine them with what I found in the old program in terms of going forward and back with limited space, and I'm enjoying myself a lot.

 

S&S is also coming along well. It's slow, but that's to be expected, and I don't mind. I realized just this week going over my logs and going back over the book that I'm missing the bi-weekly challenge, "something that challenges the mind without breaking the body." I thought about going for a ruck today but all my stuff is buried in a mess, and I realize now that I've got to get to this. So I found a free workout book by Pat Flynn, who's RKC-certified; this will work just fine, because Pavel set up the SFG program because he wanted to bring all of his knowledge - kettlebell, barbell, bodyweight training - under a single banner, and RKC-style training definitely falls under that. So I'll be getting that underway today.

 

Also, the weather's been nice enough lately to go walking in, so I've been doing that, and when I've done so, I basically skip out on the kettlebell program I took up. So, like, say I got 6 sets done of 8 and then I go for a walk. I don't come back and do the other 2, because the original intent of the program was to substitute for walking, and I don't see a reason to sink more time into it when I'm walking. The only downside to it is that this approach interferes with my other training; then again, I'm putting in enough rounds over the course of the week that dropping back a little on weekends/holidays/whatever probably isn't that big a deal.

 

Anyway. Another walk today, with a swing by the grocery store, then the RKC training to shock the system. Need to breathe and meditate too.

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Good to know about Elements.I figured it was mostly the same. Now I'm more excited to try it

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Wisdom 20   Dexterity 11   Charisma 12   Strength 16  Constitution-12

Elastigirl Endeavors, Experiments, , and Explains - Current Challenge: May 9 to June 12 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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