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L'Art De Vivre -- Magdalena's year to create the Art of Living (#2)


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2021 GOALS

 

Goal #1: Musculation (weight lifting) — Continue my  current routine of 40 reps 4-6x a week with a focus only on increasing weight rather than reps  or sets

 

Goal #2: Le régimé (diet) — During my weight loss phase (goal to lose 20-35 pounds), breakfast and lunch is a protein shake and dinner is vegetables w/ lean meat; dessert is 5 squares max of 90% cocoa chocolate.  I would like to reach goal by my birthday (July 1). 

 

Goal #3: Je fais du yoga (doing yoga) — I want to incorporate some sort of stretching routine. My posture is horrid, and I am extremely tight, particularly in my hamstrings and lower back. I can't touch my toes. I can't bend backwards, and my hip flexors are so tight they actually give out every now and then and the pain is so great I am immobilized for a few minutes. I would like to be limber and graceful. 

 

Goal #4: D'eau (water) — I currently drink about 54 ounces of liquid a day, and my goal is to nearly double that (drink 90-100 ounces a day)

 

SIDE QUESTS

  

#1: La Toilette (grooming) — Actually wash my face in the morning and before bed as well as use a day and night cream. I've done a pretty good job of keeping my hair clean and styled ever since I got it cut, so def want to maintain that. I also bought a sugar scrub and have been exfoliating every time I shower . . . and make sure to enjoy the experience.  As I mentioned, I revamped my wardrobe but need to continue putting in the effort to look nice even at home, let alone anytime I leave the house.

 

#2: Le Maquillage (makeup) — Outside of errands, I want to put on makeup if I am going out, particular to an event with people I know. 

 

#3: Maîtresse de Maison (keeper of the house) — Maintain house organization. Particularly keep up with the kitchen and laundry (the banes of my existence).  

 

#4: L'art de table (the art of table) — Keep the dining room table clutter-free and make a point of eating supper there every night (and without commercial packing). 

 

#5: L'auteur (author) — My writing goals for this year are to finish two non-fiction books and one (hopefully two) novel(s).

 

#6: Savior faire (social grace) — I want to read several books on the art of conversation since I basically say nothing when in social situations because I have trouble with chit chat.  

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Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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So first off for this challenge is to resume weight lifting. I did not lift almost all of last challenge. I had been doing well and then everything just went to pot. The most discouraging part is I don't know what triggered it unless it was simply getting too overwhelmed by writing projects and school. My non-fiction project was suppossed to be completed before I created this challenge, but alas, it still isn't quite done. I actually didn't drink last weekend at all (the first time I was successful at this goal!) but my weight still jumped up 5 pounds I guess because I made low-carb sugar cookies and low-carb brownies. But seriously -- 5 pounds??? I am so frustrated right now. I had been 162, now I'm seeing 168 on the scale which is so close to 170 when I was trying so hard to see the 150's, that any motivation to lift weights just evaporated. Especially since I'm about to go on a road trip with my mom. I feel as though it will be impossible to not come back and not be in the 170's. And after that, my mom will be staying with me for several weeks (at least the length of the rest of this challenge). 

 

So . . . . 

 

This challenge:

 

1st Week: Finish Non-fiction project

2nd Week: Don't gain weight on road trip!

3rd-5th Week: Get back into the habit of working out every day / finish 2nd non-fiction project / get dressed, maintain the house, eat supper in the dining room

 

I think, if I can accomplish the above, I will be in a good head place. 

 

And of course, it would be really nice to end this challenge in the 150's.  

 

Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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On 2/16/2021 at 7:35 PM, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:

Goal #3: Je fais du yoga (doing yoga) — I want to incorporate some sort of stretching routine. My posture is horrid, and I am extremely tight, particularly in my hamstrings and lower back. I can't touch my toes. I can't bend backwards, and my hip flexors are so tight they actually give out every now and then and the pain is so great I am immobilized for a few minutes. I would like to be limber and graceful.

 

Oh, that sounds inconvenient. Good luck winning some mobility.

 

On 2/16/2021 at 7:52 PM, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:

So first off for this challenge is to resume weight lifting. I did not lift almost all of last challenge. I had been doing well and then everything just went to pot. The most discouraging part is I don't know what triggered it unless it was simply getting too overwhelmed by writing projects and school.


Sorry to hear about this, and I hope you get your lifting mood back.

Let cheese and bread and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination.

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On 2/16/2021 at 1:35 PM, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:

Goal #3: Je fais du yoga (doing yoga) — I want to incorporate some sort of stretching routine. My posture is horrid, and I am extremely tight, particularly in my hamstrings and lower back. I can't touch my toes. I can't bend backwards, and my hip flexors are so tight they actually give out every now and then and the pain is so great I am immobilized for a few minutes. I would like to be limber and graceful. 

Feel free to join the flexy squad and complain about all the stretching you're not doing. :D

 

How's the non-fiction project coming along?

Challenge:   0   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33  

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I am late to this thread, but looking forward to hearing about the trip!

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29

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The road trip was fun. I gained, but then lost some of it the first week back. But then this whole past month my mom has been visiting and we've been going out to eat several times a week and always have desert. I have no idea how much I gained but even my fat clothes don't fit. I refuse to get on the scale. If I had worked out, it may have helped, but of course I haven't worked out even once. 

 

My mom leaves Monday just as the new challenge starts, so my goal this challenge will just be to get back to where I was.  We go away for a mini vacation the end of April so I'm not going to get on the scale until then . . . this way it doesn't depress/discourage me. 

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Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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Basically been AWOL and didn't even start a new challenge. These past few weeks have been really rough emotionally. Mr. Ravenclaw and I got into the worst fight of our marriage . . . lots of shame . . . at first I thought everything would be different for the worse, then we talked abit and I thought everything would be better than it had, but in reality it mostly seems like it just went back to where it was. Which was just neutral. Not exactly where I want to be. 

 

Anyway . . . 

 

The class I was in during my mom's visit (online college is 1 class every 5 weeks) was a business class.  I LOVED it so much that I am now enrolled in the entrepreneurship certificate program (4 more business classes).  That starts in 5 weeks, so I dropped the class I was enrolled in to start in this week and am taking a 5 week break. Very desperately needed. I'm quite emotionally overwhelmed at the moment. 

 

 

Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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So, I found out something about myself. I am a workaholic. I had no idea because I am what is called an engaged workaholic. Meaning, I love my work so much and it brings me so much joy that I focus on it all the time. Over the years, I've read tons of time management books and how to find balance books all of which have pretty much said cut out what isn't important. Well, that pretty much justified 3 days' worth of dishes piled up on the counter, or unshaven legs, or living out of a laundry basket whenever I went on a writing binge.  But of course the shame of never being able to adult well and someone noticing the messy house or going to get a pedicure and realizing your legs are super hairy (dark, course hair on very pale skin I may add) or always running late because the house is so disorganized would drive me to getting more balance / organize your life books and it's just been a viscous cycle for 20+ years. Then, in 2019 I found out I was ADHD. The reason I could never keep a house organized was because I lack executive functioning abilities. So I read tons of ADHD books on how to set up systems in your house to make it work for you. That helped a little, but didn't solve the problem. But, ADHD also has hyper-focus which explained my writing/research obsessions and binges. 

 

But now, I've discovered it's more than that. I'm actually a workaholic. One study found that "workaholics — or 7.8 percent of the sample — were much more likely to have ADHD (32.7 percent compared to 12.7 percent)" and another that "the demographic most likely to fall under the workaholic label was young,  female, and self-employed . . ." So I'm not young anymore, but this started in my 20's, so apparently I've just never grown out of it. If I was single (didn't have little children I'm supposed to be homeschooling) it wouldn't be an issue. (Mr. Ravenclaw has his own writing projects and other hobbies he enjoys in the evenings after work, so anytime I go on a writing obsession/binge, he happily works on his own stories). 

 

Anyway, I found this out reading a book on work-life balance by Stew Friedman. So now I'm reading books on that subject and they are saying the opposite of the typical organize your life books. The typical ones say cut out what's not important so you can spend more time doing what you want (for me, that is my research/writing). But the workaholic ones are saying I have to work less.  I guess that's a no-brainer, but that honestly never occurred to me. It was always about figuring out how to gain more time and cut more and more out of the other areas. And these new books are pointing out that I only have so many resources. If I spend them all on work, of course family (kids) and self-care are going to fall by the wayside. 

 

I think the biggest thing that stuck out at me was this: if you say yes to something then you said no to something else. 

 

So if I say yes to working first thing in the morning, I'm saying no to spending the morning with my kids, homeschooling them, etc. If I say yes, to writing all afternoon, then I've said no to being present or engaged with my children. I might be home with them (and even in the same room) but I'm not being with them. I'm not engaged. And the little guy (almost 3) has really started to notice (had gone on a 6 week writing binge from the beginning of March to mid-April) and in his meanest, grumpiest voice will say:  NO TYPING ON YOUR 'PUTER.  My other son, almost 5, is autistic so he doesn't communicate like a normal child . . . but his whole life he's been a mamma's boy (only I could put him in car seat, put him in his pajamas, push him in the shopping cart, and now he wants daddy to do all those things. It may just be a coincidence or maybe that's his way of showing he doesn't feel close to me lately. Not sure.)

 

Actually, it wasn't just 6 weeks; I'm sitting here counting up. It intensified that last 6 weeks. But it started in January after my eldest son's visit. I don't *think* I was writing during the day though. That was only the last 6 weeks, and only the last 2 of that (first two weeks of April) was all day long. So about 3 months total with increasing degrees of intensity. (I should point out that I have 3 different non-fiction books about to launch due to all this, as well as 207 content marketing blog posts written scheduled. And I completed a business class during all that, which included writing a business plan for my final. But I digress. 

 

And as this post is too long as it is, I will continue in another. 

Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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So the business class was the hardest class I've taken thus far but it also brought me a ton of focus and clarity.  I had already incorporated by business name back in 2019 and bought the domain (it's an independent media company), but have since then been working on a product mix and have never officially launched. I was suppossed to launch in 2020 but Covid put a halt to that, and then I ended up changing my product mix, so it worked out in the end. Anyway, I should be ready to launch sometime this year. But the point is, the class indirectly helped me realize what my brand is -- and that's what brought a ton of clarity.  I'm also reading the textbooks of two additional marketing classes and I'm now enrolled in 4 entrepreneur classes. 

 

All that to say, I spent most of my mini vacation last week figuring out how to be a business owner but not a workaholic. (I found out about the workaholic thing Sat and we left for vaca on Thurs and came back Mon). 

 

First rule: I can't work on business stuff and/or writing projects until after lunch.  So the morning is dedicated to cleaning the house, working out, self-care, teaching preschool, and playing with the boys. 

 

Second rule: Take 3 gram of Omega 3's daily. Apparently, 40% of nonmedicated ADHD people can get nearly the equal benefits of medication just by taking omega 3's. So, here's to hoping I'm one of the 40%. I just started last week and they said it can take up to 3 months to know if it's working. 

 

Third rule:  Create and Follow a Routine. I have NEVER in my entire life ever had a routine. I've always felt that routines stifle creativity. And even when I found out that I was ADHD and all the books said you can manage it better if you have a routine, I never implemented one.  So, I've been working on creating a manual for adulting. Specifically my life, house goals, weight goals, life goals, managing the house,  meal plans, bill paying, etc. Everything you could possibly think of is in this book (technically it's a happy planner because I LOVE Happy Planners and have tons of Happy Planner notebook paper and project sheets, etc.).

 

So I have a daily schedule that might say something like 9:00 Self-Care (shower, shave, face cream) and 11:00 Life Management (bills, emails, phone calls) and 2:00 Nonfiction projects. Each one is color coded. Then, I can flip to a page called "Self-Care" or "Life Management," and on that page it lists all the things that fall under that category (Self-Care: shower, shave, skin care routine / Life Management: bills, emails, phone calls), because yes, I am so absentminded I would literally forget what I am supposed to do.  I don't even remember what books I am suppose to be reading. So even that is written down and lined up with that months business goals.

 

So for instance, I have a brand book I need to read because I need to blog about my brand to launch; this allows me to realize NOT to read my advertising books yet, but to read them during the month that I will be working on an advertising campaign. Before all this, I would have read whatever seemed interesting at the time and never wrote out any goals, etc.

 

I am hoping that since this is the first time I am doing something different (as compared to doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results) that perhaps this will actually work. That I actually can be an organized, adult-like adult. 

Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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This finally brings me to fitness. And appearance. And all that NFR-related stuff. 

 

I did dead lifts today. First time since January, I believe. (Haha, right before the writing binge). I always come out of a writing binge 10-20 pounds heavier and find myself in a hoarder house. 

 

Anyway . . . 

 

I have worked out 5x since Friday. Considering that included being on vacation (get this: the only dessert I brought was s'mores and 90% dark chocolate. I brought fruit to snack on and rice cakes as compared to the typical stock up on TONS of junk food because it's vacation. And I brought my dumbbells. I have NEVER brought workout equipment on vacation. And I have NEVER not brought tons of junk food and "treat" meals. I didn't even bring pizza. Now, I should admit that I did in fact miss it, I wanted junk food very badly, and when we came home Monday, we got pizza and slices of bakery cake. But at least it was just one day and not Thurs-Mon. 

 

Part of this new found motivation is because 1) I want to do some videos and so need to be mediagenic (which requires confidence, which I do not have at this weight), 2) a picture of me with the kids on vacation which will never see the light of day, and 3) realizing that I am 43 and have spent my entire life hating the way I look in pictures and vowing that the next vacation . . .bikini season . . . jeans and boot season, etc., I'll be thin and saying that year after year after year. If I don't do it, I'm going to still be saying that and realizing I'm about to turn 50. If I am going to lose this weight and actually like the way I look I need to do it NOW. 

 

And 4, and this one will sound weird, but I'm going to die my hair Chocolate Cherry by Feria. I am hoping that it gives my otherwise professional look a bit of an edge and I feel that I can pull that edge off if I look tones. Really toned. Think Ruby Rose meets 40 something. Hahaha. I am so serious about this that I am now only eating 3 squares (1 serving) of dark chocolate a night. (I used to eat 6-8 squares every night at a minimum). 2 days in a row now. 

 

Oh, and other than drinking a few wine coolers on vacation, I've not drank at all since January. And I have no desire too. (Mostly because weekend evenings are spent writing now instead of watching movies and drinking).

 

But I've not gotten on the scale. It shot back up into the 170's after my mom's visit and all my clothes are uncomfortably tight so I'm thinking it's better if I don't get on and discourage myself. But my goal is to lose 1.5 pounds a week from here till end of September when we go away again.

 

I probably won't write again till May 2nd when the next challenge starts. The only other thing I can add is that I am actually going to buy some skin care stuff (Vit C for the morning and Retinol in the evening). I have never gotten in the habit of washing my face at night. If I didn't wear makeup (most days), I don't wash at all. And if I did wear makeup, I might remember 30% of the time to wash it off. I just don't look in the mirror. Avoid them like the plague actually, so I just never remember / got into the habit. Anyway, I'm definitely seeing signs of aging now, so I figure better late than never.  *sigh*

 

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Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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7 hours ago, Magdalena Ravenclaw said:

I probably won't write again till May 2nd when the next challenge starts. The only other thing I can add is that I am actually going to buy some skin care stuff (Vit C for the morning and Retinol in the evening). I have never gotten in the habit of washing my face at night. If I didn't wear makeup (most days), I don't wash at all. And if I did wear makeup, I might remember 30% of the time to wash it off. I just don't look in the mirror. Avoid them like the plague actually, so I just never remember / got into the habit. Anyway, I'm definitely seeing signs of aging now, so I figure better late than never.  *sigh*

 

What else are you buying? Retinol is drying and Vitamin C is sensitizing. Soothing moisturizers are our friends. 🙂

 

As for everything else you wrote... you're figuring out your priorities before it's too late. That's a good thing. Parenting is a full time job, and it only makes sense to schedule time for it.

 

 

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29

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I like your strategies.  You have put a lot of thought into them, and they will help you get succeed in your goals. Remember, that you are learning and putting in place new habits, so you may stumble. But keep going in the right direction.

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Wisdom 21   Dexterity 11   Charisma 14   Strength 18  Constitution-12

Elastigirl Endeavors, Experiments, , and Explains - Current Challenge: May 9 to June 12 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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On 4/29/2021 at 8:29 AM, Scaly Freak said:

 

What else are you buying? Retinol is drying and Vitamin C is sensitizing. Soothing moisturizers are our friends. 🙂

 

As for everything else you wrote... you're figuring out your priorities before it's too late. That's a good thing. Parenting is a full time job, and it only makes sense to schedule time for it.

 

 

 

I also bought a balancing clay face wash. And I've actually washed every day, once in the morning and once at night. I'm trying to do it for the full week at least since it promises results in 1 week, lol. The creams I bought were Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair (day) and Rapid Wrinkle Repair (night).  So far no drying or redness. I have very oily skin so maybe that's why I haven't found it drying. I want to get a hyaluronic acid something or other since that promises to bring moisture. 

 

Have not missed a workout and I've actually done yoga 3x since last week which is unheard of. 

 

Gonna go start a new challenge. 

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Adulting is Hard. Jesus Helps. 

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