sarakingdom Posted March 16, 2021 Report Share Posted March 16, 2021 SYRRAN: [My name is] Arev. T'POL: That means 'desert wind'. SYRRAN: Does it. Why are you here? ARCHER: We could ask you the same thing. SYRRAN: I follow the path of Surak in meditation and study. Challenge goals: Walk Meditate Study Bonus: Do logical things when there is emotional resistance. Challenge Tasks Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat Sun Walk Meditate Study Cleaning Meditation Intermittent Fasting Logic Over Emotion (stretch goal) Yoga (stretch goal) Mindful Sleep Don't Forget Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat Sun Meds Mail Monday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ Trash Tuesday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ Wash (clothes) Wednesday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ Food Friday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ 13 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2021 Zen and cleaning: My cleaning took a huge hit this winter, probably a SAD-exacerbated lockdown slump. (Don't ask. It was bad. But I'm coming out of it.) And, honestly, I wasn't that tidy before that. I'm super ADD. (I can be organized. I can't be organized on demand.) So I need to make cleaning a bigger part of my life. And I need to reframe my thinking about it, and how to think about the value of it. I don't know if I'll reach cleaning as a contemplative practice or moving meditation, because it may take audiobooks to do it, but I could definitely enjoy it more and appreciate how more organization helps the ADHD. 7 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 19, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2021 The Needs of the One Having wrapped up the previous challenge, I've noticed two trends. I'm more ready to make these changes than I was, but I'm also just about at the limit of the useful pressure I can put on myself with tracking and so on. So I need to find a way to take the pressure off a little, while still supporting doing the work. On the one hand, I had the good sense to make my core goals very simple this time. Walk, study, meditate, sleep. Using mindfulness in activities to count towards that goal. However, I have laid it out very like the usual high-tracking challenge, and there's some appearance of mission creep over the first iteration of this challenge. (Though I think it's less mission creep, and more putting in writing the options that were in my head and the things I've been making progress on.) So I want to steal an idea from a previous Avatar challenge and (mind) meld it with this one: I had a challenge on flow that was goalless, and purely centered on "do what needs to be done now". Reaction to the current situation. Perceiving need and solution. Listen to the smarter-but-quieter bits of my brain. Train instinctive action. It was a good (if difficult) challenge; it stretched my brain usefully, and I should do it again some time. But this challenge, I will use it to moderate the goals I've set, because they're really very much the same thing: do the basic things I need to do for the good of my mind and body, but do them in a mindful way. I will track when I need to track, and not track when I need not to track. I will sleep when I need to sleep, and not sleep when I need not to sleep. I will work when I need to work, and not work when I need to not work. I will exercise when I need to exercise and not exercise when I need to not exercise. I will drink water when I need to drink water, and not drink water when I need to not drink water. This challenge, the goal is the wisdom to know when my mind or body is disguising my needs and when they're revealing my needs. Thus, no penalty or guilt for not hitting daily goals. This challenge is not about doing what is right or expected, but about doing what is needed. Bedtime isn't consistent? Not my concern, until the day it is. I'll use the hours I'm alert alertly. Got everything done one day and got less done the next? Who cares, that's recovery time. There are cycles to these things. Make it work. Hydration is poor? Actually, that's always a problem, always do that. Basically, routine is good. But just because it's good doesn't mean it's the logical solution to everything. 6 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 19, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2021 Anyway, I've been thinking lately that lockdown has really cut down on outdoors time. Admittedly, that's harder than it was in the Before Times, because I'm more hemmed in by poor masking decisions, but I am all about the fresh air and sunlight. I do have my windows open for air, and now that it's daylight savings, I want to go save some daylight for my personal use more often. 1 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 20, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2021 Hey, it's aikido time! The reason my flow/instinctive action challenge was Avatar was basically martial arts. It was training the outside version of the traditional dojo mindsets involved in responding to attacks, no-mind and continuing-mind. And there are some useful metaphors there. From the start of lockdown, I've been thinking about radical acceptance, and that comes a lot from martial arts training and the various traditional meditation influences that have crept in. See the problem clearly. Respond without judging it. It's not useful to spend my time dwelling on whether I like the incoming attack, or remember its name, or resent being attacked, or am frightened of being attacked, or on ruminating on how the attack will evolve. The useful thing to do is to perceive it and get moving. It is what's happening now. It's better to accept things and move with the changes. The pandemic was one of those things from the start; it was an utter waste of my time and energy to spend time judging it or resenting it or fearing it, because it's happening regardless. What was a good use of my time was determined best practices, sharing information, buying masks, making changes that fit the problem in front of me. And sometimes that's true of the unexpected complications of lockdown, too. Not only can't you fight every battle, but some are really just a waste of energy. They're not that important. A lot of them aren't even really problems, they're just what we're accustomed to, and the reality of the situation has moved on. Sometimes it's choosing your battles, and sometimes it's knowing what isn't really a battle at all, but just internal commentary or expectation. In aikido terms, know how not to get in your own way. Another thing I think about a lot in learning to resolve obstacles is that there are two basic aikido movements in responding to incoming attacks: irimi, or moving through the person coming at you, and tenkan, or pivoting around the person coming at you. And in life obstacles, we tend to be trained to power through, but it's useful to learn to do both. Sometimes you should tenkan around the obstacle rather than going through. (I have not yet learned how to go under a life obstacle's armpit. I'm a simple girl, I just like a nice tenkan and a slam to the mat.) Experience is knowing when to use which approach. This is a particularly good one for me to practice, because ADHD causes me to expend a lot of effort doing mundane things. Aikido spends a lot of time training how to do things effortlessly. It would be well worth my time to know how to get my mind out of my own way when responding to things, and when to pivot around and when to power through. How does this work with the Vulcan theme? Pretty well, actually. Like the Jedi, Vulcans have more than a little poorly filtered "Eastern philosophy" influence. (I mean, let's be honest, they're both flavors of awkward space Buddhists written by people who didnt totally get non-space Buddhism.) When you look at all the lazily translated stuff versus the better translated stuff, look what you've got: See the problem clearly. Respond without judging it. It's not useful to spend time dwelling on whether you like it, or resent it, or are frightened of it, or on ruminating on how it will evolve. The emotions are there, but I do not have to make them the basis of my response. They're informational features of the problem and I need to know how to work around or through them, but they are neither an accurate representation of the problem or of the solution. 5 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted March 21, 2021 Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 Granny Weatherwax would approve. "Do the job that's in front of you" with some headology to make a useful framework for getting things done. 2 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Granny Weatherwax would approve. "Do the job that's in front of you" with some headology to make a useful framework for getting things done. Granny Weatherwax usually knows what's what. Doing the job that's in front of you is surprisingly powerful advice, once you realise the hard part is knowing what the job in front of you actually is. (Then you get the same advice from Vimes, and realize the other hard bit is being able to concentrate on the job in front of you while the world burns down.) 2 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 Week 0 Day 0 The other thing sort of useful for these aikido concepts of no-mind and continuing-mind is the now/next framework. The essence of no-mind is responding to a situation without losing time to thought or analysis (whoa, it's me), while the essence of continuing-mind is keeping one eye on the big picture, the path out of the situation. When one obstacle goes down, already be starting your next pivot, don't stop to consider which way to turn. No wasted effort. Get the maximum results from the minimum of effort. Another aikido principle I could stand to take to heart, given how much effort I need to expend doing things. In my terms, I need to put the full to-do list out of my head, but I can't be stopping after every task to evaluate the full list for what the next one should be. I need to have my next step ready. Just the one. Not the full list. Always know what I'm doing. Decide what's now and what's next, and that's it. The current needs of the one: Take out the trash, including the bin I usually forget about Prepare the recycling to go out Done: Rest when tired Tidy and refresh myself Take meds Rewatch my Zen cleaning propaganda Drink 1L of water Rest when tired Start food to be eaten later Rest when tired Eat 2 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
spezzy Posted March 21, 2021 Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 First, always in for a Vulcan themed challenge Second, your tracker makes my brain happy. On 3/19/2021 at 8:39 PM, sarakingdom said: From the start of lockdown, I've been thinking about radical acceptance, and that comes a lot from martial arts training and the various traditional meditation influences that have crept in. See the problem clearly. Respond without judging it. It's not useful to spend my time dwelling on whether I like the incoming attack, or remember its name, or resent being attacked, or am frightened of being attacked, or on ruminating on how the attack will evolve. The useful thing to do is to perceive it and get moving. It is what's happening now. It's better to accept things and move with the changes. The pandemic was one of those things from the start; it was an utter waste of my time and energy to spend time judging it or resenting it or fearing it, because it's happening regardless. What was a good use of my time was determined best practices, sharing information, buying masks, making changes that fit the problem in front of me. And sometimes that's true of the unexpected complications of lockdown, too. Not only can't you fight every battle, but some are really just a waste of energy. They're not that important. A lot of them aren't even really problems, they're just what we're accustomed to, and the reality of the situation has moved on. Sometimes it's choosing your battles, and sometimes it's knowing what isn't really a battle at all, but just internal commentary or expectation. In aikido terms, know how not to get in your own way. Another thing I think about a lot in learning to resolve obstacles is that there are two basic aikido movements in responding to incoming attacks: irimi, or moving through the person coming at you, and tenkan, or pivoting around the person coming at you. And in life obstacles, we tend to be trained to power through, but it's useful to learn to do both. Sometimes you should tenkan around the obstacle rather than going through. (I have not yet learned how to go under a life obstacle's armpit. I'm a simple girl, I just like a nice tenkan and a slam to the mat.) Experience is knowing when to use which approach. This is a particularly good one for me to practice, because ADHD causes me to expend a lot of effort doing mundane things. Aikido spends a lot of time training how to do things effortlessly. It would be well worth my time to know how to get my mind out of my own way when responding to things, and when to pivot around and when to power through. How does this work with the Vulcan theme? Pretty well, actually. Like the Jedi, Vulcans have more than a little poorly filtered "Eastern philosophy" influence. (I mean, let's be honest, they're both flavors of awkward space Buddhists written by people who didnt totally get non-space Buddhism.) When you look at all the lazily translated stuff versus the better translated stuff, look what you've got: See the problem clearly. Respond without judging it. It's not useful to spend time dwelling on whether you like it, or resent it, or are frightened of it, or on ruminating on how it will evolve. The emotions are there, but I do not have to make them the basis of my response. They're informational features of the problem and I need to know how to work around or through them, but they are neither an accurate representation of the problem or of the solution. This whole emotions / accepting emotions for what they are / respond without judging thing has been a game changer for me, and one of the biggest things 2019/2020 taught me. I used to always think that I had to FIX negative emotions, when in reality, sometimes I need to accept they're there, learn from them, and move on. I'm still practicing all of this (I think I always will, to be honest) - but one thing that really helped me is that when I found myself responding with judging, or focusing on reacting quickly due to emotion, I'd try to treat that like data, too. So not so much to analyze what happened and why, but why I'm having that set of emotions with it and what that means. Am I super resistant? Why? Does it make me angry? Why? And then I started to see themes. Kind of like you mentioned a lot of things aren't even problems, just things we're accustomed, to, and that probing allowed me to see "I'm resistant to that because it makes me uncomfortable, and I don't want to accept that this is what is happening". Also. ADHD maintenance = so much energy I try to look at it as a superpower - and the maintenance is just the price I have to pay for that superpower ha. I used to get down on myself for 'having' to do things like set timers and have whiteboards everywhere, but hey, whatever makes it work! 1 Quote Current Challenge - Instagram “There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.” Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 43 minutes ago, spezzy said: First, always in for a Vulcan themed challenge 43 minutes ago, spezzy said: Second, your tracker makes my brain happy. Saaaaaame. I realized I was not extracting trends well, and days are out of sight, out of mind when they're over. This let's me see them. And because it's just a week, I still get fresh starts. 43 minutes ago, spezzy said: This whole emotions / accepting emotions for what they are / respond without judging thing has been a game changer for me, and one of the biggest things 2019/2020 taught me. I used to always think that I had to FIX negative emotions, when in reality, sometimes I need to accept they're there, learn from them, and move on. One of the interesting things in life is figuring out what these short bits of wise advice actually mean. The thing about accepting emotions that you don't know before you do it is that it doesn't mean you just have to live with them and endure them. It often means they stop being all that significant. Like, okay, so I'm angry. And? Not my problem or anyone else's problem, unless I make it a problem. Same with "let it go". Knowing that's good advice and understanding it are two different things. And I say this as someone who knew and "understood" the story about the two Buddhist monks helping the woman across the river for decades before really in practice understanding it. 43 minutes ago, spezzy said: but one thing that really helped me is that when I found myself responding with judging, or focusing on reacting quickly due to emotion, I'd try to treat that like data, too. So not so much to analyze what happened and why, but why I'm having that set of emotions with it and what that means. Am I super resistant? Why? Does it make me angry? Why? And then I started to see themes. Kind of like you mentioned a lot of things aren't even problems, just things we're accustomed, to, and that probing allowed me to see "I'm resistant to that because it makes me uncomfortable, and I don't want to accept that this is what is happening". In theory, agreed. In practice, I can't let myself fall down the rabbit hole of "it's turtles all the way down" (to mix an animal metaphor). I can too easily get caught up in a self-analysis loop, and that's where I'm likely to struggle with actually letting things go. That's the punchline of the monk story: the monk who broke his chastity vows to carry the woman across the stream tells the fuming younger monk, "I put her down on the other side of the stream. You're still carrying her three hours later." I am by nature, especially with the ADHD, that second monk. I'm still carrying things three hours later, and learning how to handle what needs to be done now and then put it down on the other side of the stream was my lesson. If solving my problem means digging into my reaction, great, but know when that's just not my problem. Unusual stress response during a pandemic? Congrats, I'm a normal human being. Understanding the source of my stress deeply is not my problem, because I can't fix a pandemic. That unexpected stress reactions are on the table right now is just a feature of the situation. The problem is responding to their impact, not their existence. Like my recent sleep issues. Fighting the existence of the sleep issues was the wrong problem. I know this is not a normal pattern of sleep dysfunction for me, and I know the only time I've had a similar issue was also in the pandemic. They're probably a pandemic problem, and they will go away. My problem is working around them given that I occasionally have them, not that I have them. I thought that was the problem because I forgot that I was not operating under normal conditions. I actually think I didn't truly get it until the Pratchett quote Tank pulled out (though mine was Vimes in failed revolution, rather than Granny): you do the job that's in front of you. And I picked up on this one because it was closely connected in context to another Buddhist phrase I knew but didn't understand: be here now. We are here, and this is now. I don't need to know why I'm here, I just need to deal with problems that being here creates. (Which, come to think of it, is also pretty close to something Vimes says in that book. He doesn't understand a word of what the monk is saying about how he fell backwards in time and why he can't go back. But he decides doesn't need to. This is where he is, and he's getting on with what has to get done.) Understanding myself can be really useful, but it's also incredibly valuable for me to know when understanding why something is happening right now is not relevant to finding a solution and it's enough to simply know that what's happening right now is what's happening right now. Speaking of things that people know but don't understand, "what's happening right now is what's happening right now" sounds obvious. It's not. 1 hour ago, spezzy said: Also. ADHD maintenance = so much energy I try to look at it as a superpower - and the maintenance is just the price I have to pay for that superpower ha. I used to get down on myself for 'having' to do things like set timers and have whiteboards everywhere, but hey, whatever makes it work! I have yet to really figure out how to make it work, and that's where I get hung up on appreciating my superpower. But oh my god, yes, such an energy sink. 1 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Rurik Harrgath Posted March 21, 2021 Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 On 3/16/2021 at 1:26 PM, sarakingdom said: So I need to make cleaning a bigger part of my life. And I need to reframe my thinking about it, and how to think about the value of it. I don't know if I'll reach cleaning as a contemplative practice or moving meditation, because it may take audiobooks to do it, but I could definitely enjoy it more and appreciate how more organization helps the ADHD. One strategy I've been employing is picking up, organizing, or trashing two things whenever I'm in a room. Usually that becomes more, but if nothing else... that's two hands of tidying managed. At least I've put two pieces of laundry in the basket or taken two dishes off the island or put away two toiletries from the sink to the cabinet, etc. Your mileage may vary but I found it very simple to enter a flow state with that habit now. On 3/19/2021 at 5:39 PM, sarakingdom said: In aikido terms, know how not to get in your own way. Another thing I think about a lot in learning to resolve obstacles is that there are two basic aikido movements in responding to incoming attacks: irimi, or moving through the person coming at you, and tenkan, or pivoting around the person coming at you. And in life obstacles, we tend to be trained to power through, but it's useful to learn to do both. Sometimes you should tenkan around the obstacle rather than going through. (I have not yet learned how to go under a life obstacle's armpit. I'm a simple girl, I just like a nice tenkan and a slam to the mat.) Experience is knowing when to use which approach. This needs to be carved into a mountain or at the very least shouted from a mountaintop. Not all issues can be obliterated but they likely can all be redirected one way or another, and perhaps that is the key to overcoming them. 2 Quote [Level ??] Rurik, Templar-Marshal Class: Paladin of the Order of the Sacred Flame (Conquest Paladin/Champion) BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13 Equipment: Leather armor, questing longsword, and adventurer's pack with alchemist's kit. "Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR "Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf "By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager Link to comment
Mad Hatter Posted March 21, 2021 Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 50 minutes ago, sarakingdom said: I don't need to know why I'm here, I just need to deal with problems that being here creates. I tried understanding the whys, it led to spiralling existential dread. Focusing on the latter makes a lot more sense to me these days. Lots of great thoughts here! 3 Quote Link to comment
fearless 2.0 Posted March 21, 2021 Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 love the simplicity! have a great challenge! 1 Quote be fearlessly yourself! Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 A thing I'm reminded of today: the value of doing things slowly. It's rare for me to do things without feeling time pressure. In part that's deadlines or the sometimes grueling schedule control I need to exert due to ADHD, but mostly it's the internalized concept of deadlines, or of having fallen behind. One of the benefits of now/next framing on a weekend is that I can just let myself go through my list at my pace, and do jobs slowly. Not in the sense of wasting time, because that is neither now or next, but in the sense of doing them deliberately. I'm not trying to escape my jobs and do the next thing, I'm trying to just do it now as much as I can until my needs change. And that means that my mind has time to notice all the details of what doing the job means that I might skip when feeling time pressure. It's bringing home what I knew, which is that a lot of my skimped habits or procrastination actually exists because I'm feeling the time pressure of everything else that needs to be done. For instance, why take the time to refill my water carafe when there are many important things to be done? I may know I need water soon, but the clock is ticking, and that takes time. Or I'll do thing, and bash through the bare minimum, and not even realize that it's a good time to do these other parts of the job. ADHD creates such an odd relationship with the concepts of now and later. On the one hand, you're almost always in the now, because now exists and later might as well not exist. It's like an extension of "out of sight, out of mind" that exists in time. It's never later. On the other hand, everything that has to happen also exists now, because you're aware there's no later, and tasks that are put there will never happen. Which means you're trying to contain ten, twenty things all now, and not only can't focus on any of them, but feel time pressure to not focus on any of them. Trying to do one thing now is like a deer in headlights moment with ADHD, the concept almost doesn't compute. 2 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said: I tried understanding the whys, it led to spiralling existential dread. Focusing on the latter makes a lot more sense to me these days. Ah, yes, as I recall you were the person I advised to stop going down the "turtles all the way down" spiral. I suddenly recalled making the coding analogy of recognising when you're still debugging the problem and when you've gone too far from it. Situational acceptance. I'm a fan. I have this theory that the real cause of emotion is attentional residue when situations change. They're the cognitive dissonance between the situation you thought you were in and the one you find yourself in; once you accept the new situation, they resolve. (This is the root of the hedonic treadmill and people rapidly returning to base happiness levels after major negative life changes so on.) Digging backwards to resolve them is often the wrong direction; you're just reopening resolved dissonances. Looking forwards is the way to go to resolve them. The main reason for understanding them is if you don't know what change has just happened and need clues about where you are and which way is actually forwards. (Which is common enough; we're human and our brains have some limits on the reliability of perception, especially self-perception.) 3 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 Today has been a high rest day. This is understandable, because lately I've been doing three-hour nights and ran up 16 hour deficit. It was not the plan, but I have been going down the list doing the things that are most important at the time, so there's that. Rest, by the way, is very nice. You guys should try it. 1 1 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Harriet Posted March 22, 2021 Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 On 3/20/2021 at 1:39 AM, sarakingdom said: From the start of lockdown, I've been thinking about radical acceptance, and that comes a lot from martial arts training and the various traditional meditation influences that have crept in. See the problem clearly. Respond without judging it. It's not useful to spend my time dwelling on whether I like the incoming attack, or remember its name, or resent being attacked, or am frightened of being attacked, or on ruminating on how the attack will evolve. The useful thing to do is to perceive it and get moving. It is what's happening now. It's better to accept things and move with the changes. The pandemic was one of those things from the start; it was an utter waste of my time and energy to spend time judging it or resenting it or fearing it, because it's happening regardless. What was a good use of my time was determined best practices, sharing information, buying masks, making changes that fit the problem in front of me. And sometimes that's true of the unexpected complications of lockdown, too. Not only can't you fight every battle, but some are really just a waste of energy. They're not that important. A lot of them aren't even really problems, they're just what we're accustomed to, and the reality of the situation has moved on. Sometimes it's choosing your battles, and sometimes it's knowing what isn't really a battle at all, but just internal commentary or expectation. Excellent insights. I'll try to remember that for my own challenges, too. 18 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Granny Weatherwax would approve. "Do the job that's in front of you" with some headology to make a useful framework for getting things done. I thought that was Vimes, but I wouldn't be surprised if they both said it. Pratchett had some great themes, and Vimes and Weatherwax are my favourites.... Now that you mention "headology" it occurs to me that Weatherwax's practice of headology is pretty much exactly how pagan "magic" is explained in Drawing Down the Moon (a book on the practice of neo-paganism in America). I guess Pratchett knew a lot of things. Really a lot of things. Such a sublime weaver. 9 hours ago, sarakingdom said: Situational acceptance. I'm a fan. I have this theory that the real cause of emotion is attentional residue when situations change. They're the cognitive dissonance between the situation you thought you were in and the one you find yourself in; once you accept the new situation, they resolve. (This is the root of the hedonic treadmill and people rapidly returning to base happiness levels after major negative life changes so on.) Digging backwards to resolve them is often the wrong direction; you're just reopening resolved dissonances. Looking forwards is the way to go to resolve them. The main reason for understanding them is if you don't know what change has just happened and need clues about where you are and which way is actually forwards. (Which is common enough; we're human and our brains have some limits on the reliability of perception, especially self-perception.) Sometimes I dwell on causes because I haven't given up the hope that a situation is beyond my control. If I can find the cause, I can find the cure. But searching for cures sometimes stops me building the more boring, slow, but tested habits that are known to help. I'm inching towards accepting fatigue as a permanent feature, and trying to build my days around it. 3 Quote Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru Link to comment
Renate Posted March 22, 2021 Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 Oof, I feel like the world is passing me by Luckily on the forums I can just read back ❤️ Awesome challenge! Here! Quote Level ☆ human [uncategorizable] STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Athena said: Oof, I feel like the world is passing me by Look, if you let 24 hours go by, that's what happens. 1 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 Week 0 Day 1 Onwards to Zero Week! Yesterday was a very nice rest day. Not the day I wanted, but the day I needed. It was my first day of more than five hours of sleep in about a week, so I really did need to chip away at that sleep backlog. Today's challenge: clean mindfully. I don't have to like it, I just have to observe it. The Needs of the One: Make food Hydrate with meds Done: Look less like I stuck my finger into an electrical socket, and more like a respectable professional Put music and ambient noises onto things Challenge Tasks Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat Sun Walk Meditate Study Cleaning Meditation Intermittent Fasting Ish? Logic Over Emotion (stretch goal) Yoga (stretch goal) Mindful Sleep ✔ Don't Forget Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat Sun Meds Mail Monday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ Trash Tuesday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ Wash (clothes) Wednesday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ Food Friday ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ 3 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 9 hours ago, Harriet said: I thought that was Vimes, but I wouldn't be surprised if they both said it. Pratchett had some great themes, and Vimes and Weatherwax are my favourites.... Vimes and Granny Weatherwax shared a lot of their personal philosophies. You devour the books back to back, you start to see some of the same personal codes showing up for them. It's a little bit of fourth wall breaking that Pratchett gets away with because he's Pratchett. It's definitely in Night Watch, though. It's one of the defining themes of the book in some ways. Come to think of it, next challenge is the annual Night Watch challenge, isn't it? I've never done a Night Watch challenge that simple, but maybe I will this year. 9 hours ago, Harriet said: If I can find the cause, I can find the cure. This is the premise I'm beginning to challenge more. It's one of those things that's profoundly true in theory, but I'm less certain it's quite as true in practice. Sometimes the cause is simply "I have an ape brain designed to live in jungle canopies, and some of the most primitive behavior patterns are locked in once triggered by random modern elements". The connection between cause and cure is, not to put too thematic a word on it, logical. The behavior of primitive monkey brains in a modern world is not necessarily logical. Sometimes I can statistically model what that brain will do in the big picture, but I can't guarantee it's going to be a reliable narrator of its own behavior and triggers. Sometimes being wiser than my brain means not trusting it to diagnose itself, but working around what I know of the model. I think there's some influence from meditation practice coming I there, too. The recognition that a lot of brain activity is often closer to instinctive noise and triggered patterns than it is to the rational and purposeful thought we presume it to be, and the limits of using it to diagnose itself. When the cause is fundamentally "the human brain is flawed", what is the cure? It's not really a curable cause of the problem. Sometimes the cause is not the problem to be solved, but the permanent parameters that need to worked around. 10 hours ago, Harriet said: I'm inching towards accepting fatigue as a permanent feature, and trying to build my days around it. I would do this. It's not the same thing as giving up on fixing it medically. It's not the same sort of acceptance. It's just agreeing that this is how things are right now, and it's something that needs to be dealt with. No amount of wanting to cure the fatigue or using willpower to try to live by pre-fatigue norms is going to mean you are not dealing with fatigue right now. It's simply true that you are dealing with fatigue. Pre-fatigue norms are not very useful to you at the moment. One day, but not now. (It's like people resisting resting injuries and wanting to train at normal levels too soon. Like, my dude, that ankle is sprained, and trying to train like it's not sprained, just because your trainer gave you a plan to get jacked in three months and you don't wanna fall behind, it isn't going to change that. Pretending the training conditions and needs are the same as they were pre-strain is not useful. It doesn't work, and it also keeps it from healing.) 3 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Harriet Posted March 22, 2021 Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 46 minutes ago, sarakingdom said: Vimes and Granny Weatherwax shared a lot of their personal philosophies. You devour the books back to back, you start to see some of the same personal codes showing up for them. It's a little bit of fourth wall breaking that Pratchett gets away with because he's Pratchett. It's definitely in Night Watch, though. It's one of the defining themes of the book in some ways. Come to think of it, next challenge is the annual Night Watch challenge, isn't it? I've never done a Night Watch challenge that simple, but maybe I will this year. The Night Watch Challenge sounds intriguing! Does it involve walking around the city at night in thin boots? 46 minutes ago, sarakingdom said: This is the premise I'm beginning to challenge more. It's one of those things that's profoundly true in theory, but I'm less certain it's quite as true in practice. Sometimes the cause is simply "I have an ape brain designed to live in jungle canopies, and some of the most primitive behavior patterns are locked in once triggered by random modern elements". The connection between cause and cure is, not to put too thematic a word on it, logical. The behavior of primitive monkey brains in a modern world is not necessarily logical. Sometimes I can statistically model what that brain will do in the big picture, but I can't guarantee it's going to be a reliable narrator of its own behavior and triggers. Sometimes being wiser than my brain means not trusting it to diagnose itself, but working around what I know of the model. Yes to the primate brain. Very much so. I have no doubt I could have been a different and less damaged person in a different society. But it is, as you say, more or less fixed now (apart from habits I hope to slowly change). Though there are tested practices, like meditation, whose efficacy is proven, even though we don't understand the exact mechanisms. Same for exercise and depression. Time to stop being theoretical and start being practical. And to focus on the big rocks first, not the little pebbles. Exercise, fresh diet, meditation are big blocks. I should probably stop hoping for cures in the little pebbles like zero caffeine or home made bone broth or the maximally optimal rest period between sets. 46 minutes ago, sarakingdom said: I would do this. It's not the same thing as giving up on fixing it medically. It's not the same sort of acceptance. It's just agreeing that this is how things are right now, and it's something that needs to be dealt with. No amount of wanting to cure the fatigue or using willpower to try to live by pre-fatigue norms is going to mean you are not dealing with fatigue right now. It's simply true that you are dealing with fatigue. Pre-fatigue norms are not very useful to you at the moment. One day, but not now. (It's like people resisting resting injuries and wanting to train at normal levels too soon. Like, my dude, that ankle is sprained, and trying to train like it's not sprained, just because your trainer gave you a plan to get jacked in three months and you don't wanna fall behind, it isn't going to change that. Pretending the training conditions and needs are the same as they were pre-strain is not useful. It doesn't work, and it also keeps it from healing.) Very true. Thank you for typing this out. It's not so bad. My family like me (!) even with my fatigue (!) and despite the fact that I don't do as much as them. It could be worse (there could be scorpions). Time to accept and settle in for some long slow changes while maybe trying some things without getting too excited about them. 3 Quote Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 42 minutes ago, Harriet said: The Night Watch Challenge sounds intriguing! Does it involve walking around the city at night in thin boots? Usually it's a set of five or so character-based goals with assassins and cake and so on, but I may just make it "do the job that's in front of you" this time. With, of course, walking, because teaching people how to walk as a lifestyle is a big part of the book. We'll see what I feel like when we get to the next challenge. The one rule is I do it every year for May 25th. 42 minutes ago, Harriet said: Very true. Thank you for typing this out. It's not so bad. My family like me (!) even with my fatigue (!) and despite the fact that I don't do as much as them. It could be worse (there could be scorpions). In my experience, there's less conflict over suboptimal situations when everyone is on the same page about accepting that they're in suboptimal situations. The conflict comes from people applying expectations that fit the previous situation. So I think it can only improve general family contentment to be explicitly working from acceptance of how things are looking at the moment. Scorpion venom is probably used to cure a lot of things, the way bee stings are. Maybe it'd be better if there were scorpions. You could try scorpions. It's faster than making bone broth, for sure. Just for you, a German scorpion advocating radical acceptance of situational change. Sometimes my meme game is super on point. Spoiler 1 1 2 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2021 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2021 Another observation: I'm hungry a lot this week. Like, every day, multiple times a day. This is not usual for me. I don't know if I'm eating enough, and may have to check that. I do have a history of chronic undereating. My hunger levels are usually below my estimated maintenance calories (which, ironically, seems to have a role in my not losing/gaining weight), and cooking has been hard lately, which likely also affects whether I'm actually eating enough. I might need to do a corrective period of overeating healthy food and keeping stable calorie levels rather than having them cycle all over the place. 3 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Mistr Posted March 23, 2021 Report Share Posted March 23, 2021 Your plan makes a lot of sense. I like the aikido attitude towards issues. Some things are easily faced head-on, others benefit from getting out of the way. Lots of things are easier to deal with if you see them coming and move to meet them at a better spot. If your body is giving inconsistent hunger signals, how would it work to just have meals that meet your macros ready to eat? @RESmentioned that she has been buying frozen meals which has been helpful for her goals with portion control. You might do the same thing with meeting your daily calorie target. You could make things you like or buy them, whatever makes most sense. Quote Level 68 Viking paladin My current challenge Battle log Link to comment
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