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Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos - No good name


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Backstory

 

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Mom to 2 human Agents of Chaos (Children (almost 13 and 17)), 3 Furry Cat agents ( Agent Black 3,  Agent White 2 yo and Agent Twilight 1year old), 1 Dog Agent K9 (5) and might as well be mine Dog Agent Yappy (He’s been here 6+ months, 11 yo).  My Dad died 18 months ago and my mom is not functioning physically or emotionally so I am a caregiver now. I also got a new job last August and while it has been stable, learning new job is hard, but add Plague world and it’s harder.  Things here are not necessarily improving, but I am just trying to keep going.

 

Last challenge I did better than I have in a few challenges. Instead of skipping days a time now checking boxes, I only had 1 point where I missed 2 days in a row. I may have missed 2 days out of 3, but there was a day I did get my boxes in the middle. I don’t see the improvement in lost weight or more energy, but my average steps have increased daily. Hubby tells me he sees me doing more, so I may be increasing my number of spoons/mana a day, but I am using more spoons/mana a day so it’s a net gain of zero.

Mentally and emotionally, I am still not in a good spot, there is stuff going on that I have no control over, but it is upsetting and makes me angry and I can’t change any of it. Things that could help, must be done by others and due to their “lack” of togetherness, its been pushed back 6 months. But I am trying to accept that this is the world and that sometimes things just suck. My depression and anxiety may be “better” but I really think the answer is less bad.

I have a couple of “goals” for the next few weeks. Really, they may not mean much, but it’s a start. I want to see if I can walk 2 miles at lunch before “summer” that gives me till about end of May to make that goal. Right now, I can do about 1.5 to 1.75 over my lunch without being tired. Goal 2 is don’t miss 2 days in a row. I am getting better than I have been, but I still need to stay on track.

Here is the actual goals list. I don't have to do every single thing, but I do need to get the whole "box".To get the box, I need to do the number in red for that section. The bigger number in black is the max I can get in that category. If I get all 7 of the boxes, I did what was needed to that day. I can always do more, but I need to do the required number per box. 

Goal

Value

Description

Strength

1

Calf raises

 

1

Squats

17

1

Wall Sit (sec)

 

1

Side kicks

Do 6

1

Leg lifts

6

1

 Reverse sit ups

 

1

sit ups

 

1

Knee to Elbows

 

1

raised Arm circles

 

1

Torso Twists

 

1

Bicep extensions

 

1

Table plank

 

1

Bicep curls with weights (1 lb)

 

1

Backward Leg Raises

 

1

Step ups

 

1

Side lunges

 

1

Desk push ups

Flexibility

1

Wrist Extension Stretch

 

1

Wrist Flexion Stretch

21

1

Upward dog/Child pose

 

1

Meditating Groot

 

1

Lord of the dance Yoga (ankle above head)

 

1

Lower back stretch (One leg across body)

 

1

Chair Pose

 

1

Butterfly

 

1

Triceps stretch

 

1

wall stand

 

1

Bridge

 

1

Calf stretch

Do 8

1

Ballet/toe Touch

 

1

Crescent Moon pose

                                                8.00

1

Sitting Fix/Shoulder stretch

 

1

Warrior 1

 

1

Ankle Circles

 

1

Warrior 3 (Eagle bird thing)

 

1

Quad stretch

 

1

Side stretch

 

1

Forward bend

Life and Family

1

1 thing for mom a day

 

1

NF status update

 

1

NF reply one other thread

 

1

Check Yappy Dog's night water bowl

 

1

Brush Yappy dog

 

1

Put lotion on legs

 

1

Take Calcium in AM

25

1

Spend time with Agents

 

1

Nightly Downtime

 

1

Walk garden once a day

 

1

Text/Talk to one family member a day (Chosen or Blood)

 

1

Water an inside plant

 

1

Read a book

 

1

Soak up the sun

 

1

Plan

 

1

Be in bed by 10:30

 

1

Floss in morning

 

1

Floss after work

Do 12

1

Floss before bed

 

1

Walk across beam once a day

 

1

Check Seedlings

 

1

Check Dad's email

12

1

One good thing

 

1

Give Agent K9 5 minutes playtime

 

1

Play with Cats

Fight Chaos

1

Peninsula/Island

Clean all these daily

1

Table / Half wall

14

1

Desk

 

1

Computer room ottoman

 

1

Bathroom up

 

1

Clean off file cabinet

Do 8

1

Bathroom down

8

1

Clean off door to basement

 

1

Grandpa's table

 

1

Clean off Stairs and landing

 

1

Clean off tall dresser

 

1

Clean off nightstands

 

1

Clean off Dresser

 

1

Counter over dishwasher

At least 5 minutes per room (at least one)

1

Garage

 

1

Dust one surface

 

1

Computer room

12

1

Basement

 

1

Random organizing project

Do 5

1

Pick up one furtumbleweed a day

 

1

Cull Pjs

 

1

Clean up plants

 

1

Wash window or mirror

5

1

Clean 2 papers out of paper organizer

 

1

File 1 thing a day

 

1

Purge 1 thing a day

Walking

1

Walk 9500 steps

8

1

Walk 15 minutes a day

 

1

Walk 10 minutes at lunch

 

1

Walk 5 minutes after dinner

 

1

Walk  5 minutes in morning

do 5

1

Take Agent K9 for a walk

5

1

7 hours with 250 steps

 

1

Walk to Mordor

Fuel

1

No eating after dinner

17

1

No stupid sugar

 

1

Track breakfast

 

1

Track Second breakfast

do 10

1

Track Elevensies

 

1

Track lunch

 

1

Track Dinner

 

1

Track Supper

 

1

Eat A Salad

 

1

Take Probiotic

10

1

< 3 bottles of tea

 

1

Eat Dates Daily

 

1

Eat dried Apricots

 

1

Eat Breakfast

 

1

Eat Lunch

 

1

120 oz of water

 

1

Record sugar in G

 

114

Did I complete 5 minutes in room

Total points for day

           54.00

 

 

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

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22 hours ago, Teros said:

Looking at that list gives me anxiety.  Rooting for ya

You Got It meme -

Sadly, I would love to be doing that whole list each day, but right now, I only need to do parts of it every day. I am trying to not thinking of doing them all right now, just some.  My bigger problem comes from no day is ever "easy" any more which makes something simple like this that much harder.

Thanks for the support.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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So update since I didn't get a chance to do it earlier

This week I am nominally on vacation> Basically, my job as a "spring break" but I still have work to do. I haven't done it yet, but if I don't do it, well that is that.  I am very conflicted on it since it needs done, and if I don't it will be overtime when we get back, but Office Roomie was very pissy about it since Mentor and I working over break will cause her to lose her break in the future (Me and Mentor are working. the other 20 people in the department aren't, but whatever). Anyway, I feel like its a not good spot and the guilt trip is sucky.  It is very like stuff I get from my mom and nothing I can do about it. She only said it like 4 times the last 2 days before break.

 

Also, Yappy dog is acting odd. He has a bad hip/knee or something and is favoring a leg. When I gave him some of Agent K9s arthritis meds, he was literally falling over for about half a day. Without the meds, I can tell he is in pain, but hes getting around better. Hes seeing the vet on Friday. I told Mom (since its her dog) and was basically told that if its going to be a big deal to just put him down.  It was a rather harsh text. I think she wasnt to not feel guilty hes been here since August and she doesn't pay for food or vet or anything. I don't ever see him going home to her, so I am taking care of him like my own dog. I won't let him be in pain, but if its something that a small pain pill, or easy to treat, then we will do it. Its about QUALITY of life as far as I am concerned.

In other news, my brother came up and talked to my mom. He talked to her about a nursing home and she told him she was "A long time away" from needing one. She is also dragging (not picking up) one foot now. He told her the will needs signed, but retreated home so now I get to set it all up and make her go. 

 

In good news, Tuesday I took Agent Eldest to look at a college. Not sure its the right fight, but I didn't feel like the fatso that couldn't keep up and I did the whole thing without needing to stop for air or sit down. However, it was a smaller campus.  I also helped Hubby move 42 concrete bricks this afternoon for a new landscape border around a tree. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard.  I have also been able to sleep in since Sunday, so yay. And covid shot 2 is tomorrow so hopefully I don't get too sick.

 

Challenge wise:
I started the new challenge on Sunday and have done pretty well for 3days in. So far I got all the boxes and 75 pts, 85 pts and 79 pts. I am getting at least 3 walks in and my steps have been 15221, 17477 and 13074.

I have been recording my sugars. I am not entirely sure how to read MFP because the sugar goal keeps moving. I know I am at a HUGE risk for diabetes which is why I am recording it, but the number of sugars I am allowed over the last 3 days is 114, 120 and 107. So I have had an 81 day, a 90 day and a 113. I am not trying to stay under a number, but rather figure out if I am going way over or anything. I could  should research this, but I am just trying to get an idea for a baseline I guess. Really, I just want to see what I normally get and then when I do a dr appt in a few months (I need to schedule this), I will know what my sugars look like. But since Diabetes killed my dad, I should probably start taking this seriously.

I think I am off to a good start, but I am only 3 days in and Thurs and Friday will be the curious days right off the batch. We will have to see how it goes.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Thank you for taking care of yappy dog like your own and not writing him off. ❤️ 

 

related, Bean you are so full of love and I am in awe. You care for so many animals, it’s more than clear that you love your kids and hubby, and you want the best for everyone even though the world hasn't been kind to you. To you it might just be how you roll, but from the outside it just makes you extra incredible and I want you to know that. 

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21 hours ago, fleaball said:

Thank you for taking care of yappy dog like your own and not writing him off. ❤️ 

 

I don't fathom how you "write" something off like that. I mean poor Yappy Dog tore his ACL in his leg a 3 or 4 years ago. My mom was having extensive dental work at the time, and said that the dog didn't need surgery and she wasn't going to do her and him both. So he spent like 6 months limping and crated more than not to "heal" it. I don't understand how you do that. I mean my furchildren are just that. MY CHILDREN.  And Yappy Dog may not be mine, but he is now (for all intents and purposes), so he is going to be treated like one of mine. He may even get more attention than some of my critters.  I mean I am brushing him most days to deal with mats in his fur,  he has a separate water bowl at night to drink from when we try to sleep. In a few weeks I will be shaving him since its the best way to get rid of the fur I can't get the mats out of and then it will  be kept up on. Plus, part of me is horrible and doesn't want to put him down since it will upset Youngest Agent and then the way my mom will handle it.

 

21 hours ago, fleaball said:

related, Bean you are so full of love and I am in awe. You care for so many animals, it’s more than clear that you love your kids and hubby, and you want the best for everyone even though the world hasn't been kind to you. To you it might just be how you roll, but from the outside it just makes you extra incredible and I want you to know that. 

Thank you. I really just treat people the way I want treated. I mean yeah, I will be the first to hold a door for someone, hoping they pass on the favor to someone else. I daydream on Petfinder sometimes about bringing home more kittens and puppies to have wonderful lives. There is so much bad stuff in the world, and having been through it, I just really want do what I can to stop it. The same reason my biggest goal in life is to be Aunt Meg from Twister combined with the Aunts from Practical Magic.  Where the kids and the nieces and the nephews and my choosen family love to come and visit and never leave hungry or sad. And more than willing to fight for my family when it comes down to it.

Aunt Meg from Twister 8643e60a02f44d0e6e110b495294242d.jpg

the Aunts from Practical Magic

f91ef1c1db3a4ed9743ec68cbfe25369a5d3dc791TM5vR.gif

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

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First off. Covid shot 2 was done about 10:45 Am. It is now 5 Pm and I feel like hell. Brain fog is a thing, I am cold, I am tired and I hurt (the last 2 could be from a monthly issue). But either way, I am downing Gatorade (which I hate and is bad for my calories) but I am trying. So this may be a short update.

Other thing of confusion. I got an email from my school. The one I graduated from almost a year ago. They wanted to know If I still wanted to walk across  a stage in a small group this year, or wait for the the full thing summer of 2022. I voted small stage thing since I am ready to be done.  I had actually given up on hearing anything from them. But hey, we will see what the masses choose.

Wednesday, I did really well on my challenge. New high point total of 87 pts with all seven boxes.  I will admit I am glad it is going so well, but the way I feel right now, it may be more of a Minimum day.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

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I read that for most people shot 2 evokes a stronger reaction because your body is already going “hey what the fuck is this thing?” and responds harder. 

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49 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I read that for most people shot 2 evokes a stronger reaction because your body is already going “hey what the fuck is this thing?” and responds harder. 

It's also why people who may have had it (mild or no symptoms) last year react more strongly....

But then some people show almost no reaction.

What I LIKE is that maybe people will stop calling me a frickin' liar when I report a strong immune response to the seasonal flu vaccine. Low grade fever and feel like crap for about 24 hours. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Feel better soon @Bean Sidhe

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On 3/25/2021 at 5:42 PM, Whisper said:

Hopefully the brain-fog passes quickly and you start feeling better.


Still waiting for fog to clear. But I am betterish since yesterday.

 

 

On 3/25/2021 at 5:44 PM, fleaball said:

I read that for most people shot 2 evokes a stronger reaction because your body is already going “hey what the fuck is this thing?” and responds harder. 

That would line up. But really, I would like the chills to go away now. I am tired of being cold.
 

 

On 3/25/2021 at 6:35 PM, Athaclena said:

It's also why people who may have had it (mild or no symptoms) last year react more strongly....

But then some people show almost no reaction.

What I LIKE is that maybe people will stop calling me a frickin' liar when I report a strong immune response to the seasonal flu vaccine. Low grade fever and feel like crap for about 24 hours. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Feel better soon @Bean Sidhe

Hubby and I think that Youngest Agent and I may of had Covid the December before it was really a thing.  Youngest agent had a super high fever adn about passed out at the dr to have a "random Virus" I went down about 2 days after. Either way, I am ready to be done with this.  I don't normally react to much. Hubby gets sick and just sleeps for 24 hours. And me, well I am doing what I normally do and powering through, but I am tired nad cold and done. I am 33 hours post shot 2. I am ready to be done any time.
 

 

7 hours ago, Countess D'If said:

Man, shot #2 knocked me on my butt for 24 solid hours. Then I was fine. It was night and day black and white, however you want to think about it SICK!! NOT SICK! SO flipping weird. I hope you're feeling a bit better 

My hope is I wake up tomorrow and feel like a person. I doubt it though since other monthly stuff is here and adding on to the process.
 

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

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So I also read in various places on the internet that the reactions are generally in the first 48 hours so there's hope there... but apparently hormones can make it worse depending on where you are in your cycle so that's really fucking unpleasant.

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Update while I wait on the one food that has sounded that has sounded like something I could eat in the last 24 hours to get here.

Yappy dog's vet visit is basically he has a bad knee. His ACL tear (that was never treated) from 4 years ago is now allowing the patella to move a bit. so he gets joint meds and now a pain reliever.  I knew I should of put Yappy Dog meds as a point on this challenge. Now I am being lazy since I don't want to reconfigure the spreadsheet to add it (or I might since it will be an easy point in the AM).  Other than that, the dr said he was in great shape for being almost 11 years old. Although he was supposed to get shots in September I didn't know about, but those are done as well.  This has become a maintance thing of it won't go away, but if we treat it, it won't get worse.

I then told Mom since she was being annoying about it. While I am at the vet, she is texting and said the vet would confuse the green dye we put on him as mold, and then told me I abused him somehow by dying him. (She approved it, so whatever). Once I was out of there I went over the basics via Text, then I went to her house to explain it better. I got a ton of "Well, if they will treat dogs that fast, why not humans." a lovely whine and eye roll when I said meds for the rest of his life. "Why Can't I get a doctor to treat me that well" and a bunch of other Mom moments. Plus she told me he fell in the yard and tore the ACL, not the "He fell off the couch when Dad and I were watching basketball adn got loud" story. Which I think is her getting confused again. I remember my dad falling in the yard, but not him. And I have proof in email that the knee was from the basketball game.  So I came home in a mood.  (Oh adn I went over there looking like death, and not a word of "Are you okay?" MIL however texted remembering I had a shot and asking. Not sure how I feel about either reaction since I don't take being Mommed well, and I am more made that I looked sick and tired, and got bitched at about her work).

Which didn't help since the covid shot has kicked my arse 2 days in a row. yesterday was cold, tired, foggy, migraine and back ache. today is Migraine, backache, foggy and less cold. Also challenge was kinda a fail yesterday. I got all the boxes except stretches and exercise since I am blaming Covid. I was too tired to do it. Not going to lie. So today, I am at 5 boxes again and hoping after food I will have the energy to do the other 2. Then back to bed early.

Food came. now to hope I want to eat said food.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Your list both intimidates and inspires me. So much respect.

 

Also as someone with a dog on daily medication for the rest of his life - just echoing what others said before with a thank you for caring for Yappy dog and giving him as much care as you do. Hopefully he doesn't make it too difficult to take his medication.

 

Hope you are starting to feel better and more human after shot #2.

 

dog hug GIF

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On 3/26/2021 at 7:41 PM, Legolas "Cap" Greenleaf said:

Now that is a list!

 

That is the "What I would like to do per day" but really, I only need the number in red for each section to get what I need to do in a day. However, some days some things will just not happen while others will be easier.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

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