Mistr works on weekends

[Mistr]

Mistr works on weekends

 

My major goal this challenge is to get back in shape for aikido. The weather is getting warm enough that aikido in the park will start soon. Hopefully we can go back to training in the dojo by summer. I have put on weight and lost strength and aerobic condition. Lots to work on there.

 

My second goal is to keep balance in my life as the world opens up again. There are some good things about this enforced time that I want to maintain.

 

The third goal is the one in the title, work on my weekends. Which includes doing work for my day job on weekends. We are still short-handed. Unless by some miracle the incoming work flow lightens up, I need to put in a few hours on weekends to keep from feeling like I'm drowning. I also need to change my planning to make time for zen and exercise on weekends. I always want to do more than is feasible, so I need to make better choices.

 

Details:

I. Exercise and food.

A. Alternate strength and core exercise/yoga days.

1. Strength alternates between days A and B

a.  bodyweight exercises and back roll practice

b.  TGUs and sumo shiko (combination bodyweight squats and side leg lifts)

2. Yoga rotates between core routines with other practices thrown in for variety

B. Start the NF Journey biking challenge in April. I just dropped off my bike at the shop for a long-needed overhaul. It should be done by the second week of April, just in time to get outside.

C. Eating improvements

1. No snacking between breakfast and lunch

2. Protein and produce at every meal

3. Take breaks instead of stress eating.

4. Portion control at meals

5. Take-out must include salads

 

II. Balance

• Keep a regular schedule. This is easier because my adult offspring, Elf, is working a regular job with an early start time. I can't bargain on sleeping in if I stay up late. So all I have to do is go to bed on time. Still a challenge, but I've been better about it this year than ever before.
• Stick to the regular schedule on weekends. Staying up late and sleeping in contributes to me not doing zen and exercise.
• Stay on task at work and stop by 5:30pm. I may not be done, but I can have a plan of what I need to do the next morning. Plan what to do on the weekend ahead of time. 
• Pick one task from my wish list to get done every weekend. Feeling I'm making progress is important.
• Take breaks to spin or knit to deal with stress at work. This is one of the major benefits of working from home. Take advantage while I can.
• Clean one thing or do 15 minutes of yard work most days.
• Sit zen for 10 minutes on days when I feel like I want to do other things and leave it until the end of the day.

[sarakingdom]

10 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I have put on weight and lost strength and aerobic condition. Lots to work on there.

 

God, I know. I can't even.

[Xena]

It makes me really happy to think about your being able to practice aikido in person with other real people again in the foreseeable future.

[Harriet]

Aikido in the part sounds lovely. Yoga and strength sound good, too. A successful challenge to you!

[iatetheyeti]

8 hours ago, Mistr said:

I have put on weight and lost strength and aerobic condition. Lots to work on there.

 

...yep. Same.

 

Akido in a nature rich environment sounds like an actual delight, I have to say.

 

[RES]

22 hours ago, Mistr said:

Eating improvements

All of these sound like great ideas!

Following  

[Mistr]

Family update

 

For those just joining the party, Dumbledore is my partner, Elf is our adult offspring and Hermes is/was our roommate and close friend.

 

Health items

Spoiler

Dumbledore is type 2 diabetic. He has been worried about his health for a long time, but has been inconsistent in taking action about it. I do what I can to be supportive, but keep at arms length because anything perceived as nagging would be counter-productive. We talk about eating healthier and making different food choices. What this has meant is that instead of me buying potato chips at the grocery store, Dumbledore goes to the convenience store a couple times a week to get chips and treats for himself. He understands the concept of low carbs, but has not put it in action. 

 

Recently he started testing his blood sugar a couple times a day. This is huge. He gets direct feedback on how his eating from the previous 8 hours is affecting his body. He already knew that snacking in the evening was a bad idea, but now he has more data to back that up. I hope this is part of a positive trend. Last night he made a chicken wrap for dinner and packed up half of it because he was full. Now if I can just get him to cook healthy food for us instead of getting take out...

 

Elf is still juggling a variety of brain chemistry and childhood trauma issues, along with asthma, plantar fasciitis, and a knee injury. They are non-binary and considering surgical transitioning to female. Last week they told me that they were tired of always being the odd one and wanted to just be treated like a cis girl. Most of the time they pass as female as it is. I do not have an opinion on all this, I just want them to take enough time to be sure of their decision.

 

Elf is in a long-distance relationship that has been going well. Well enough that they are worried about how attached they feel and not wanting to give their boyfriend too much emotional power over them. This is the first relationship they have been in that has the potential to be serious. I think they are being prudent in taking things slowly. They will be going to visit their boyfriend for a week in April. To be continued...

 

Household chores

I'm not feeling like I have to do everything, which is an improvement. Lots of things are not getting done, which is not. I am not getting better at ignoring the clutter and dirt, I'm just getting better at choosing to do other things.

 

Elf posted a schedule of which days they have time set aside to do dishes, cleaning and cooking. In theory this is good. The practice has not matched the theory. That said, Elf is doing batch cooking once a week. They were unhappy with our sponge mop, so they looked at reviews and went out and bought a rag mop with a spin-wringer bucket. They have good intentions for cleaning the bathroom and eventually they will get it done. Mostly.

 

Dumbledore has been doing a ton of work getting his small business off the ground and is not leaving time for household stuff. He has been sorting papers and picking things up fairly often. He has not been doing his weekly day of cooking. We have been taking turns doing the laundry. When it is my turn, I do about three loads a weekend for two weeks. I fold the clothes and put them away fairly quickly. Not always the same day, but within a couple days. Dumbledore waited two weeks before he started his turn. He took the dirty clothes to the laundry room before that, because the clothes monster was taking over our bedroom. He has a good system for getting clothes through the washer and dryer, but the folding and putting away part is a challenge for him. I could put up with this better if I had plenty of clothes. As it is, I can't zip up any of my jeans and am wearing yoga pants. Which are all in the wash. Some are on the drying rack, so I can find something to wear to work tomorrow.

 

Last week I noticed that there was a sticky spot on the floor in the downstairs bathroom, so I got out the scrub bucket to clean it. I also cleaned the toilet while I was at it, because if I'm going to be on the floor by the toilet, I want to clean it first. I was just starting when Dumbledore noticed what I was doing. He told me that the downstairs bathroom was his responsibility and he would take care of it. He said to just leave the scrub bucket there. Okay, that is a positive thing. Except that it is a week later and the scrub bucket is still sitting next to the toilet.

 

I am choosing my battles and focusing on getting both of them to do more cooking. I get anxious when there are not enough meal items to eat in the house. We have lots of food, that is not an issue. Coming up with ideas for meals is a challenge for me. I fall back on making the same things all the time, and am tired of those.

 

For my part, I am going to use my  cleaning energy on the yard. I might be able to rope Dumbledore and Elf into helping with raking. Neither of them is into gardening, so that all falls to me. I got in one round of pruning before it started raining on Monday. I'll see if I can do more this weekend. On the rainy days, I can work on sorting my stuff.

[sarakingdom]

Spoiler

 

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

Last week they told me that they were tired of always being the odd one and wanted to just be treated like a cis girl.

 

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

Elf posted a schedule of which days they have time set aside to do dishes, cleaning and cooking. In theory this is good. The practice has not matched the theory.

 

Much of being treated just like a cis girl, about 99.83% at last estimate, is people assuming you're basically there to do all the cleaning, judging your cleaning, getting angry when the cleaning isn't done, and then being annoyed you think so much about the cleaning. As a cis girl, I would welcome a respite from this, because cleaning is the worst, and no amount of Zen monks can convince me otherwise, though they're having a good try. 😛

 

 

[Xena]

Gahhh! I just want to shake your family members and start bossing them around. 

[Scaly Freak]

11 hours ago, Mistr said:

I am choosing my battles and focusing on getting both of them to do more cooking. I get anxious when there are not enough meal items to eat in the house. We have lots of food, that is not an issue. Coming up with ideas for meals is a challenge for me. I fall back on making the same things all the time, and am tired of those.

 

I am reading this and wondering if prepping a number of frozen meals might help?

 

I'm hoping that one of the ways 2020 goes down in history is as The Year We Learned It's Okay Not To Be Perfect In Every Way. An unrealistic hope maybe, but all hope is, to some extent.

 

I will now go back to staring at the small mountain of clean yet-to-be-folded laundry. 

[RES]

21 hours ago, Xena said:

Gahhh! I just want to shake your family members and start bossing them around. 

Beat me to it, but same!!!

[RisenPhoenix]

On 3/22/2021 at 10:07 PM, Mistr said:

. Eating improvements

1. No snacking between breakfast and lunch

2. Protein and produce at every meal

3. Take breaks instead of stress eating.

4. Portion control at meals

5. Take-out must include salads

 

Yea I think I'm going to be stealing this methodology.

 

Also hi.

[sarakingdom]

18 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Also,

 

FTFY.

[Mistr]

Family update, part 2

 

A while ago when we decided to each cook one day a week, Elf took Mondays, Dumbledore took Fridays and I took Sundays. Mine just got shifted to Saturday because we found that Sunday night dinner was not working well for any of us (more on that later).

 

So on Thursday, I mentioned that I was looking forward to Dumbledore making dinner on Friday. He got that "oh yeah, I said I'd do that, didn't I?" look. Friday morning I had to start work early because one of my people called in sick. Dumbledore was a gem and volunteered to make breakfast for me. Normally I can take a few minutes to heat up food, but stepping away from my desk when I'm the primary person practically guarantees that someone will need me.

 

As Dumbledore was making eggs and bacon, he commented that he was having an awful time coming up with any ideas for dinner. I told him that I understood exactly how he felt. And so did all the women who were responsible for cooking for their families every day. He immediately got it. There is a huge difference between understanding unequal gender roles, and feeling the weight of them oneself. 

 

Elf was home from work on Thursday because they had to get negative COVID test results before they could go back to work. They scrubbed the toilet and washed all the dishes by the sink, all on their on initiative. Today they washed their pans after cooking breakfast because the counter and stove were clean when they got up and they wanted to keep the kitchen looking good.

 

Last week our family dinner was full of drama. The food was good, and that is the best that can be said about it. The next day Dumbledore and I compared notes and wondered if sitting down at the dining room table in the evening might be triggery for Elf. Elf's birth family always had sit-down family meals with some sort of expectations that we don't entirely know about. So the three of us talked and agreed to move our household dinners to Saturday and in the kitchen. We did that yesterday and it went well. Observation and communication FTW!

 

Challenge progress

I did zen twice this weekend. I made it a priority because of my goal here. I think that was a good thing. I missed both zen and exercise in the morning on Friday because I started work early. By the end of the day I was out of sorts and not willing to do anything responsible. Saturday I just did zen and not exercise. I got in some walking shopping at Costco, the large grocery store and a clothing store. The number of people shopping on Saturday at the first two stores were back to pre-pandemic levels. Much more of an endurance event than a speed event. That took my whole afternoon.

 

Today I did my bodyweight day A. I also finished splicing together a new driveband for my spinning wheel. It is just kitchen twine, but sewn in an overlapping joint so there is no lump. Part of my frustration was because I finished my knitting project and couldn't spin on my wheel. I did some spinning as a break from work. I did indeed do a few work tasks. Not as much as I planned, but enough that Monday will be a bit better.

 

I am trying to make peace with having to pick and choose what I'm going to get done. So many things! That said, I'm happy with what I have done so far. Still do to today:

• Fertilize the houseplants
• Make chocolate pudding while talking to my mom
• Go to bed on time

That should about do it. I can read or spin if I somehow get done early. 🤠

 

[sarakingdom]

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

As Dumbledore was making eggs and bacon, he commented that he was having an awful time coming up with any ideas for dinner. I told him that I understood exactly how he felt. And so did all the women who were responsible for cooking for their families every day. He immediately got it. There is a huge difference between understanding unequal gender roles, and feeling the weight of them oneself. 

 

It boggles my mind that there are adults who don't have the experience, for at least part of their lives, of having to feed themselves every day, whether they want to or not. Forget the gender roles (don't forget the gender roles), but I can't wrap my head around an adult who has always been taken care of that way. Even my dad and grandfather had the experience of sharing cooking with roommates in college and having to produce a meal on a given night and handle complaints about it and so on.

[Scaly Freak]

I hope Elf's Covid test is negative and they can go back to work soon!

 

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

I am trying to make peace with having to pick and choose what I'm going to get done. So many things! 

 

Marathon, not sprint?

[Mistr]

14 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

It boggles my mind that there are adults who don't have the experience, for at least part of their lives, of having to feed themselves every day, whether they want to or not. Forget the gender roles (don't forget the gender roles), but I can't wrap my head around an adult who has always been taken care of that way. Even my dad and grandfather had the experience of sharing cooking with roommates in college and having to produce a meal on a given night and handle complaints about it and so on.

 

The issue is not that Dumbledore doesn't have the experience of cooking for himself. He did that for years when he was in grad school. He is actually a good cook. 

 

The real issue is the pressure of having to produce a meal at a regular time for other people. That is very different than whipping up something or scrounging leftovers for oneself when one gets hungry.

 

13 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

I hope Elf's Covid test is negative and they can go back to work soon!

 

Yes, it turned out fine.

[Scaly Freak]

7 minutes ago, Mistr said:

The real issue is the pressure of having to produce a meal at a regular time for other people. That is very different than whipping up something or scrounging leftovers for oneself when one gets hungry.

 

The pressure can be lessened by being flexible with when exactly meal-time is. If it can be "when the food is done" instead of when the clock says a specific time, that reduces the stress. Whether that is practically possible... that's a different story.

 

Good news on the Covid test!  

[sarakingdom]

4 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

The pressure can be lessened by being flexible with when exactly meal-time is. If it can be "when the food is done" instead of when the clock says a specific time, that reduces the stress. Whether that is practically possible... that's a different story.

 

The time when I was regularly cooking for others, this was the meal culture. Dinner was sometime between 7:30-9, depending on the vibe of the night and how long it took to cook. (Mostly it was in the 8-ish range, but it did vary.) But we had the advantage of all working the same basic hours, so we didn't need to fit dinner between when someone got home and another person left.

 

Cooking for other people is, strangely, a bit easier for me. I plan better when it's a Meal, rather than a meal.

[Mistr]

8 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

The pressure can be lessened by being flexible with when exactly meal-time is. If it can be "when the food is done" instead of when the clock says a specific time, that reduces the stress. Whether that is practically possible... that's a different story.

 

Yes, we did that. Dumbledore went to the store and got things to cook when he was done with work. He said he was spoiled by living next door to a grocery store when he was in grad school. When he got home he put chops in marinade. We went for a walk, and then he cooked them. I had chips and salsa after work so that I wouldn't be starving. We ended up eating dinner at 8pm.

 

In some ways that was fine. In physiological terms, it caused problems for both of us. Eating late in the evening makes me tempted to stay up too late and have trouble sleeping, which is exactly what happened.

 

We will see what Friday dinner looks like this week.

 

Tonight was Elf's night to cook. They noted that we have plenty of protein cooked, so they made veggies. Kale with bacon and garlic and plain cooked broccoli. They also made stromboli to take for their lunches.

[Mistr]

Project Completion Report

 

This really should have been with the last challenge, since I did all the work in February and the first three weeks of March. I'm just slow to upload photos.

 

Starting fiber (on the right):

 

Yarn:

Knitting photos under a cut for size reasons

Spoiler

 

Lace hat before blocking:

 

Blocking (washed and stretched on a dinner plate), top view:

 

Blocking, side view:

 

Finished hat:

 

 

I made this for Elf, because they liked the colors. They also wear this type of slouchy hat.

 

I'm really happy with this project. The yarn was fun to spin and lovely to knit. The hat used all the 134 yards of yarn. Total mass is 29g. I like the way the color gradation moves through the hat.

 

Posting photos here completes my NF Journey creativity challenge to finish a project and show people. I'm doing spinning for the rest of the Creativity challenge.

 

My next knitting project will be a lace summer vest with the yarn my mom brought back from New Zealand for me. It is just one skein of 434m, which is not much for a garment. The easy thing to do would be a scarf. Scarves are nice because you just keep going until you run out of yarn. A shawl would be a similar option. However, I just made myself a scarf a couple years ago and I have plenty of pashima shawls. My spinning project is destined for a large lace shawl. I could actually use a pretty lightweight summer vest or sweater. I have a sketch of the shape I want, now I just need to figure out the lace patterns to use, the measurements, and knit some test swatches. I've done plenty of flat lace projects. Making a garment with shaping will be a new challenge for me.

[RisenPhoenix]

On 3/28/2021 at 8:22 PM, Mistr said:

As Dumbledore was making eggs and bacon, he commented that he was having an awful time coming up with any ideas for dinner. I told him that I understood exactly how he felt. And so did all the women who were responsible for cooking for their families every day. He immediately got it. There is a huge difference between understanding unequal gender roles, and feeling the weight of them oneself.

 

23 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

It boggles my mind that there are adults who don't have the experience, for at least part of their lives, of having to feed themselves every day, whether they want to or not. Forget the gender roles (don't forget the gender roles), but I can't wrap my head around an adult who has always been taken care of that way. Even my dad and grandfather had the experience of sharing cooking with roommates in college and having to produce a meal on a given night and handle complaints about it and so on.

 

When my mother had double knee replacement surgery, my father was in charge of taking care of.... well everything.

 

At one point he commented how HARD it was to remove the *pre made meals* family and friends made to help him from the freezer to remember them for dinner.  I looked at him like he had 8 heads, and my mother and I laughed at how typically male his reaction was.  And looking back on when he had to take care of me or my brother, it was usually dinners that he bought out on his way home from work, or meats he grilled that my mother specifically got for him to cook.

 

Like, I know I'm all Y-chromosomed up and all, but even I find that insane.

[sarakingdom]

6 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

At one point he commented how HARD it was to remove the *pre made meals* family and friends made to help him from the freezer to remember them for dinner.  I looked at him like he had 8 heads, and my mother and I laughed at how typically male his reaction was.  And looking back on when he had to take care of me or my brother, it was usually dinners that he bought out on his way home from work, or meats he grilled that my mother specifically got for him to cook.

 

Like, I know I'm all Y-chromosomed up and all, but even I find that insane.

 

Gah! It is insane, man.

 

Honestly, I think part of it is that our parents' generation married much earlier, so it was much easier to lean on those gender roles. There's a lot of adult socialization (conflict resolution, doing a little of all the jobs) that doesn't doesn't happen unless you get some time functioning as an independent entity, either with roommates or alone. And also simply having to do something every day, rather than occasionally. A lot of traditionally female chores are the daily work, while a lot of traditionally male chores are the weekly work. It's not that a given job is hard, it's that it's endless.

 

Hasn't your Y chromosome been baking bread lately?

[RisenPhoenix]

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

Hasn't your Y chromosome been baking bread lately?

And scones. 
 

<.< >.>
 

I am a stress baker as it turns out. 

[Mistr]

I do a lot of baking, regardless of how I feel. I just believe in having food I like in the house.