FatboySuave is focusing

[FatboySuave]

Introduction: My last challenge was mostly a bust as I didn't really invest a lot of time and thought into it. But looking at the bright side, I'm re-familiarizing myself with the forums and thinking about my quests and goals and priorities a lot more. I'm ready to invest more of myself into this challenge. And I'm getting closer to the right mindset, but I'm not all the way there yet. I still feel like I'm waking up from some sort of coma. I had major health and weight loss progress thanks to these forums back in the day, but then the past three or four years have been an unhealthy blur and I just allowed myself to sink into a hole. I used video games as a behavioral health tool to escape reality every once in a while, but I allowed myself to get too absorbed in gaming to the point where I totally left reality behind. But now that I'm waking up, I'm getting re-focused on the things that should be important. For a full introduction, check out my battle log.
 

Main Quest: My journey, for now, is primarily focused on weight loss. In my previous fitness journey, I was able to get down to 200 pounds. I'd like to get back down there again, but I'm heavier now than I ever was before - about 275 pounds - so it's going to take more work, focus and dedication than ever before. For now, I'm going to set a tentative goal for losing 15 pounds in 2 months. I think that's doable, but I'll adjust as needed. 

 

Quest 1: Drink more water (and less liquid calories).  For now, I'm going to aim for at least 64-72 ounces of water per day. 

A = Drink the target amount of water 6-7 times a week (and drink less than 1 sugary drink). 
B = Drink the target amount of water 4-5 times a week (and drink less than 2-3 sugary drinks). 
C = Drink the target amount of water 2-3 times a week (and drink less than 4-5 sugary drinks). 
D = Drink the target amount of water 1 time a week (and drink less than 5-6 sugary drinks). 
F = Fail to drink the target amount  any days of the week (and drink 7 or more sugary drinks)

 

Quest 2: Walk my dogs Booklet and Page daily (and try to complete a cool down afterward). 

 

A = Walk/cool down 6-7 days a week

B = Walk/cool down 4-5 days a week.

C = Walk/cool down 2-3 day a week.

D = Walk/cool down 1 day a week.

F = Fail to walk/cool any days of the week. 

Quest 3: Cook paleo meals more often, eat out less. If I do eat out, I will find healthy/paleo-ish options.

A = Eat out no more than 2 times a week. 
B = Eat out no more than 4 times a week.
C = Eat out no more than 6 times a week.
D = Eat out no more than 8 times a week.
F = Eat out more than 8 times a week. 

 

Quest 4: Complete Awesome Hour every evening before bed. Awesome Hour is my self-care routine (brushing teeth, cleaning face, powering down from screens). 

A = Complete Awesome Hour 6-7 times a week. 
B = Complete Awesome Hour 4-5 times a week. 
C = Complete Awesome Hour 2-3 times a week. 
D = Complete Awesome Hour 1 time a week. 
F = Fail to complete Awesome Hour any days of the week. 

Life Quests: I want to limit my gaming time and increase my reading time. I don't have a specific plan here yet, but I'm going to keep this in the back of my head and try to focus on it whenever possible. 

Motivation: I feel like my lack of self confidence gets in my way of enjoying life and taking chances. I want to look good, so I can feel good and live life to the fullest.

 

"Drink more water. Or you might die." - Mick Jenkins
 

 

[Chesire]

Hey there!  I missed the return of FatboySuave last challenge.  I hope the awakening is like waking on a lovely sunny day after weeks of cloudy and grey.  That moment of simple pleasure for just being here to see it. 

 

Here to cheer you on!  

[FatboySuave]

11 hours ago, Chesire said:

Here to cheer you on!  

Thank you! 

 

In the spirit of Easter, I decided to rise from the dead myself, lol. This morning I took the dogs on a hike on an trail that we used to do almost daily back in the day. It's relatively easy, about 2 miles, but the struggle was real. I tried the same trail a few weeks ago and failed pretty miserably; I had to turn back early. This time, I rocked some new hiking shoes that I bought recently, a new backpack and some new workout clothes. I've been spending a lot of money on gear lately to hype myself up into being more active. I had to take a lot of breaks this time because my legs and especially my feet kept feeling like they were going to give out. It feels like I'm not getting good circulation. I suspect it may be my socks, or it may just be that my legs aren't used to this level of activity. But we made it all the way to the top this time! It's a hogback type formation. The very beginning has some super tough and steep switchbacks. Then the rest of the trail is sort of up and down along the "jagged edge," as its called. I thought about quitting and turning back a few times, but I allowed myself to rest for extended periods of time along the way, and sure enough we made it. The dogs really seemed to enjoy it. Page is full of energy and is still running around like no big deal. Booklet is as tired, if not more tired, than I am, lol. I forced myself to power through the rest of the day without a nap, because I know it would have messed up my sleep schedule. Now I'm ready to turn in early. 

[fearless 2.0]

I always love it when you're here! Glad you're back. 

Im hiking too and hear you on the struggle. Keep on keeping on, dude!!!  

 

[Chesire]

Happy dogs are always worth a little, or a lot, extra push!  Hopefully you aren't feeling it too badly today.

[FatboySuave]

22 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I always love it when you're here! Glad you're back. 

Im hiking too and hear you on the struggle. Keep on keeping on, dude!!!  

Thank you for the support! It's nice coming back and seeing familiar names. 

 

14 hours ago, Chesire said:

Happy dogs are always worth a little, or a lot, extra push!  Hopefully you aren't feeling it too badly today.

I'm feeling pretty good actually! I did a cool down stretch after the hike, and I think that helped a lot. I feel surprisingly well! 

 

I have a quick win to report: I took the dogs on another walk! This time just a short jaunt around the neighborhood, which is about 1.3 miles. But that makes two walks on back to back days, so that's exciting! It's been a long, long time since we've accomplished that. And here are some happy dogs for your enjoyment:

[fearless 2.0]

well done, dude!  

[Chesire]

Rock on!  Is Page the mostly white one? 

[Jayniana Jones]

I’m following along. I thought I recognized you in your photo when you posted on my thread.  I cheered you on for awhile during your first round. At the time you were making great progress and had just adopted Booklet. If I remember right you even tried Zumba? I don’t remember that for sure.

 

Awesome on taking your dogs for a walk. They look happy. Furry friends are great motivators for getting outside. Mine don’t care where we go or how fast I move as long as we go.

[FatboySuave]

6 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

well done, dude!  

Thanks!  

 

5 hours ago, Chesire said:

Rock on!  Is Page the mostly white one? 

Yes! One of my friends refers to her brown spots as coffee stains, lol. 

 

1 hour ago, Jayniana Jones said:

I’m following along. I thought I recognized you in your photo when you posted on my thread.  I cheered you on for awhile during your first round. At the time you were making great progress and had just adopted Booklet. If I remember right you even tried Zumba? I don’t remember that for sure.

 

Awesome on taking your dogs for a walk. They look happy. Furry friends are great motivators for getting outside. Mine don’t care where we go or how fast I move as long as we go.

Yeah, your picture was familiar to me too but I couldn't remember if it was from way back when or more recent. Holy crap, you have a good memory! Yes, I adopted Book around that time and I was also starting out with Zumba! Just yesterday my old Zumba instructor posted a photo of her class because now that the pandemic is easing in our area, she's restarting her classes. I'm so tempted to get back into it, but I don't want to rush in too quickly and hurt myself. That's partly what derailed me back then. It was a lot of jumping and foot strain and I was not taking good enough care of my feet (not enough stretching). It's awesome to reconnect with you! And I'm glad you're back as well (or still in it, whatever the case may be)! 

[FatboySuave]

I was so amped about the walk yesterday that I forgot to report another win. I managed to get some meal prep done yesterday! Roasted chicken breast, broccoli and sweet potatoes. It's been quite a while since I've done my meal prep, so the portions are a bit off, lol. Today I decided to take a rest day from walking the dogs. I did quite a bit of walking while shopping today (I bought a new dresser to level up my lair), and my legs were feeling pretty sore from just that, so I decided to give myself some time off. I've been making a lot of upgrades to my Fortress of Solitude and I feel like I'm close to having things in my bedroom exactly how I want them while making space for exercising in the near future. I'm also trying to make a designated "workout gear space" in my room, so everything is more visible and accessible in the hopes that I'll be more mindful about getting changed and getting active.

 

To make up for the canceled walk and lack of physical exercise today, I will exercise my brain tonight by reading. I really want to start a "completed pile" of books. I don't think I've completed a "real" book in a long long time. The last book I probably finished was a graphic novel. And that was like two years ago maybe. I'm currently reading "The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Madness and the Love of Words" and I'm really digging it so far. Someone told me there's a movie based on it, but I had never heard of it. I bought it on a whim based on the title at an awesome little hidden bookstore in Colorado. It was my first time leaving the city limits in a year and a half, and the first bookstore I've stepped into in years. There's so many things I haven't done in so many years. Again, this all goes back to feeling like I've been in a coma and I'm now barely waking up. I got so excited about that bookstore and another bookstore in the same town that I bought way too many books. I spent at least $200, maybe close to $300, on books in one weekend, lol. So now I gotta read them all and stack them in my "completed pile." That will be a little ongoing side quest.

 

Another form of mental exercise that I've recently taken up is chess. There was a big chess boom on Twitch in early 2020 thanks to a highly entertaining amateur chess tournament featuring streamers, just before "Queen's Gambit" came out on Netflix, both of which coincided with the beginning of the pandemic. I've been immersing myself a lot in chess content on Twitch and YouTube and started taking a couple lessons on chess.com. A friend and I played a couple games online during the pandemic, and now that things are easing up in our area, we decided to play games in person while going out to lunch once a week. So far we've done it two weeks in a row and it's really fun busting out the physical chess board in a public place. We keep joking and saying how at the age of 80 we'll be known as those old guys who are always playing chess at [insert restaurant name here]. Thanks to the lessons and chess content, I currently have the upper hand on him for now, but I'm still learning and making plenty of mistakes, which keeps things interesting, lol. We had a fun competitive match today and I ate a delicious and healthy-ish meal, so overall it was a nice outing.

 

I will make sure to walk the dogs tomorrow. I have to remind myself that it's not just about my own health journey. I have to be mindful of their health as well. 

[Jupiter]

Sounds like you're doing great! Keep it up!  

[Jayniana Jones]

On 4/6/2021 at 11:13 AM, FatboySuave said:

Holy crap, you have a good memory! Yes, I adopted Book around that time and I was also starting out with Zumba! Just yesterday my old Zumba instructor posted a photo of her class because now that the pandemic is easing in our area, she's restarting her classes. I'm so tempted to get back into it, but I don't want to rush in too quickly and hurt myself. That's partly what derailed me back then. It was a lot of jumping and foot strain and I was not taking good enough care of my feet (not enough stretching). It's awesome to reconnect with you! And I'm glad you're back as well (or still in it, whatever the case may be)! 

I have this skill/curse that I remember random details about people I meet. Booklet was adorable and I loved the name. I  also remember your enthusiasm and enjoyed cheering you on. I fell out of the forums for a few years because of life rolls and injuries.

 

The size of your book pile sounds like mine. I have about 90 books awaiting my attention on my Kobo and Kindle. I read quite a bit because I’m a writer. I tease my family about how their phone is connected to them and mine isn’t. However, I barely walk anywhere without one of my e-readers in my hands.

 

Your outdoor chess game reminded me of Pixar’s short about Geri’s chess game. I adore Pixar short films. If you haven’t seen it, I think it’ll make you laugh. Youtube wouldn’t let me link to the file. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IYRC7g2ICg

 

[FatboySuave]

On 4/6/2021 at 10:17 PM, Jupiter said:

Sounds like you're doing great! Keep it up!  

Thanks! 

 

On 4/7/2021 at 8:50 PM, Jayniana Jones said:

I have this skill/curse that I remember random details about people I meet. Booklet was adorable and I loved the name. I  also remember your enthusiasm and enjoyed cheering you on. I fell out of the forums for a few years because of life rolls and injuries.

 

The size of your book pile sounds like mine. I have about 90 books awaiting my attention on my Kobo and Kindle. I read quite a bit because I’m a writer. I tease my family about how their phone is connected to them and mine isn’t. However, I barely walk anywhere without one of my e-readers in my hands.

 

Your outdoor chess game reminded me of Pixar’s short about Geri’s chess game. I adore Pixar short films. If you haven’t seen it, I think it’ll make you laugh

That video was awesome! I'll have to send that to my chess buddy. I also fell out of the forums for a few years, but I'm glad we're both back! You mentioning Kindle just reminded me that I recently downloaded the Kindle app on my phone. I should try to jump back into it. I deleted Facebook from my phone because I realized I just scroll and scroll aimlessly, even if I've already scrolled it a million times that day. So a while back I downloaded a news app that gives me the scrolling satisfaction but feels more productive because I'm keeping up with the world. I think my next jump may be into the Kindle app for my boredom screen times. 

[FatboySuave]

Update: I broke my promise. I did NOT take the dogs on a walk yesterday. I got distracted by other physical activity. I bought a new dresser. It might be my first piece of legit adult furniture. It's the real deal and took quite a bit of effort to get set up and into place. So I counted that as exercise for the day. Then I spent a lot of time trying to move and organize my clothes. As a result, I opted not to take the dogs out. However, we got back out on the pavement today for a walk around the neighborhood. I also sold my old dresser, so again a bit of physical activity. And so far I'm sticking to healthy-ish meals. I think I might already be losing quite a bit of weight - maybe even more than I expected off the bat. I don't want to celebrate too soon though. I'll do a proper weigh-in later. Some days water is a struggle. The other day I found myself almost feeling sick from drinking water. But then other days, like today, I down much more than my goal. I think my body may be freaking out at the changes I've been making. But otherwise, I feel pretty good about all my goals. 

[FatboySuave]

Week 2 Recap

 

Quest 1: Drink more water: A+

 

Quest 2: Walk my dogs: C+

Quest 3: Cook more, eat out less: C

 

Quest 4: Awesome Hour: B-

Life Quests: I've read about 70 pages in my latest book. I've made minimal progress on being mindful of my gaming time. 

Week 2 Total: B-

 

I started this challenge late, so I missed Week 1, but here's what feels like Week 1 for me but is actually Week 2, lol. I feel good about a B-. I feel more mindful about everything, which is definitely an overarching goal. Meal prep helped last week, but there's still room for improvement. Walking the dogs is more of a mental barrier that I need to overcome. There's just days where I don't want to go through all the trouble of getting them ready and getting out the door. I'm also sorta struggling to figure out when it fits into my schedule. Around 5 or 6 p.m. is a good walking time because the sun isn't as intense, but that's also about when I want to eat dinner. I try to get ready for bed around 7 and be actually in bed around 8. I sleep early because I wake up at like 4:30 a.m. So I'm still figuring things out, but I will get better. Looking back at my battle log made me realize I'm not tracking my gaming time. I think I should start doing this concretely. Today, just before I came online to update everything, I allowed myself to game for a while, but I set a timer for 30 minutes. I'm considering getting one of those loud manual kitchen timers. That way when I go to grab my controller, I will see the timer and be reminded to set it. I think going analog will help make it more tangible.

 

I completed my meal prep yesterday, so I should be good for this week. That's always been a good way to rev up for the week, getting a big thing out of the way and knowing that decision-making will be that much easier throughout the week. I used to prep a breakfast meal too, but something about eggs just doesn't sit right with me anymore, lol. So I've actually been sort of skipping breakfast. Today, instead of eating breakfast, I ate my lunch prep early. I'm in the office by 6 a.m. and we finish the day's production by 9 a.m., so I ate around 9:30 or 10. That might be my new strat for the time being, until I figure out something else. I don't know. 

 

On Saturday I went out with friends. We had sushi and drinks for dinner and then went back to my friend's house for more drinks and dancing. In honor of DMX, rest in peace, we played a lot of his songs and jammed out hard. It was very therapeutic. I grew up listening to DMX and was super bummed by the news of his death. I cried pretty much all day Friday and Saturday. I was unsuccessfully holding back tears even while at work. Early this morning on my way to work, they were playing a DMX song on the radio and I started tearing up. But playing his music on Saturday night felt like a celebration of his legacy and impact. It was beautiful. He wore his demons on his sleeve and was incredibly open about his struggles, but he was always fighting to recovery. It even looked like he was on the road to recovery in the past year or six months -- before he ultimately OD'd and fell into a coma last week. So in honor of DMX, if I'm slipping or falling, I will commit to getting back up. 
 

 

[Jayniana Jones]

It sounds like you are having quite a few wins.  

 

The kindle app on the phone is handy when waiting in lines or anywhere else where waiting happens. I’ve read many books in 2 minute increments. When I read for a half-hour some days I get fidgety. 

 

For your dogs, maybe setting the walk time small may be helpful for you to have more yeses. Some mornings my dogs get a ten or fifteen minute walk (no matter the weather) instead of 30+ minutes just because I decided we were going out the door no matter what. In the evenings my ankles hurt like crazy and I want to say no thanks to the walk, but then I look into their eyes... and... well I just have to say yes even though it could be just half a block because of pain.

 

Video games are one of my weaknesses when I enjoy the game. I’ve had to use the oven timer to get me to stop playing because it requires me to get up to turn it off. Otherwise, I silence the timer (digital or analog doesn’t matter) and do “one more thing” in the game followed by one more thing or a repeat of what I tried to do before.

[FatboySuave]

Week 3 Recap

 

Quest 1: Drink more water: C-

 

Quest 2: Walk my dogs: F

Quest 3: Cook more, eat out less: D+

 

Quest 4: Awesome Hour: D

Life Quests: Made a lot of progress on my current book. 

Week 3 Total: D

[FatboySuave]

Week 4 Recap

 

Quest 1: Drink more water: F

 

Quest 2: Walk my dogs: D

Quest 3: Cook more, eat out less: F

 

Quest 4: Awesome Hour: F

Life Quests: Finished "The Professor and the Madman" and also finished "Flamer." 

Week 4 Total: F

 

I've been quietly updating my battle log the past two weeks. Progress slipped quite a lot. I failed to get my meal prep done this past week, so that really threw me off. And Booklet had a pretty nasty bug bite on her paw that I've been treating. I decided to not take the dogs on walks until she heals. And I've been having some mental/emotional struggles, letting silly things to get to me. But I'm not going to let it derail me completely.

One major success this past week: I finished two books! I read "The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary. " It's about how the OED came together and follows the primary editor as well as one of the biggest contributors, who did work for the dictionary from an asylum that he had been committed to because he shot and killed a man. Very interesting! I later learned that Mel Gibson made a movie adaptation and it was pretty controversial, but it strayed from the true elements quite a lot. The book is worth a read, the movie not so much worth a watch. The book was quite wordy (as you can imagine a book about the dictionary might be) so I chose a graphic novel for a quick read immediately after. "Flamer" is a fictional story about a boy at summer sleepaway camp struggling with acceptance of himself and his sexuality. I cried super hard while reading it and found it incredibly relatable. I highly recommend it! Now I'm reading a book that I started previously but sort of forgot about: "The Angel's Game" by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. I'm not feeling it a whole lot, but I'm going to stick with it. 

 

Today I completed my meal prep, so that's a good start for the week. I've been thinking a lot about my mindset lately. I started a mentality podcast recently (The Mindset Mentor with Rob Dial). I'm not particularly fond of the host, but I do find the messages/themes to be thought provoking. I'd prefer to find a different podcast with similar messaging. I don't know, we'll see, maybe I'll stick with it. But when I was doing therapy a few years ago, my therapist talked about cognitive behavioral therapy, and I've been thinking about restarting it. I think the first time around I wasn't really ready to put in the work and effort into changing how I think. But I believe I'm more open and willing to put in the work now. And that's what the podcast focuses on, how to change the way you think about yourself. For example, he had an episode recently about how people dislike themselves and criticize their selves so harshly. He mentioned some experiment where women were tasked with writing down the things they didn't like about themselves. And then they had the women try to read those things to their younger sisters, and of course they didn't want to say those things because you don't say shitty things to ones you love. So the realization is meant to be that we should stop tearing ourselves down so much and be kinder to ourselves. I really need to learn how to do that for myself. And I fear that I'm taking out that harshness on some of the people I work with, so that's definitely no bueno. 

[fearless 2.0]

loving how you are bouncing back there! Also the part about harshness is very true. If you can, talk to someone you like...therapy changed my life for the better!