Maggie Eats Food (and does some other stuff)

[Maggie-Miau]

*waves tiny flags*

 

context: i have a fairly low appetite most of the time and am adapting to a Pretty Physical Job (on feet for most of 8 hours, mandatory 12-hour shifts multiple days a week, constant motion and moving heavy stuff) which makes my food disposition Inconvenient. i'm gluten free bc allergies and vegan by choice as well as milk/egg allergies and also just. periodically hate eating.

 

goals:

• eat the food - current plan is to have a jacked-up protein smoothie for breakfast. i've got the stuff to make a smoothie with like 57 protein in it. then do my usual reliance on little snacks at work, including one pre-made protein shake and like. nuts and fruits and stuff. carrots and hummus and such. and then eat Real Food when i get home instead of Going Straight To Bed like i usually do. i found some vegan ready meals on sale today, which i know aren't ideal, but they'll be Something for the days when i would rather be stabbed than cook. which lately is Most Days. the actual goal is just to. Actually Eat The Food I Prepare.
• do the school: hi i'm working on my high school diploma and would love to finish before i turn 25 thanks. i have Physical Science, Literature, and 5 Electives left to do and then i'll be done. i don't usually have braincells left for school when i get home in the evenings and so have been doing most of it on the weekends, but would prefer that i should step it up and get done.
• ?

ngl that's it really, apart from clinging to this job and saving up to get momsauce out of the nasty contract (for anyone who doesn't know, just know my family's in a $7000 hole and will be there until 2023 unless i save up the funds to expedite escape) and trying to do stuff like crochet and write and read stuff in free time.

 

things are rapidly Changing around here and pretty precarious, so a background goal is to just tackle things one day (or one week, really) at a time and not worry about the rest.

[Maggie-Miau]

i got my food packed for tomorrow and completed a crochet project, as well as made considerable progress on another crochet project. one is a little white pouch requested by coworker D, and the other is a stuffed frog for New York Friend, who loves frogs. i just have to add toes and eyes to the frog and it'll be ready to send. i really need to get back to work on the scarf i've been working on.

 

ngl i'm ridiculously sleepy and will 100% be going to bed entirely too early this evening. if i make it to 8pm it'll be an act of God 🤣

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along. Life's hard if you have a physically demanding job and don't enjoy eating. You can do it.

[TimovieMan]

Following along too. You got this! 👍

[SkyGirl]

I'm here to follow along, Miau!!  ❤️  And so very proud of you, as always!!

[Salinger]

Love you Mia xx

[Maggie-Miau]

Thanks all! Will reply properly later but just a note that i won't be around much this week bc I've got 12hr shifts every day and might have to work Saturday. We get home just in time to go to bed within the 8hrs of sleep range. Just got through Monday and im already 😫😴

[Maggie-Miau]

Also another thing to work on this challenge- I never sleep through the night anymore and i have terrible anxiety every morning to the point of feeling sick and weepy which is. Not great at work. Idk how to Calm Down but i need to.

[sarakingdom]

40 minutes ago, Maggie-Miau said:

Also another thing to work on this challenge- I never sleep through the night anymore and i have terrible anxiety every morning to the point of feeling sick and weepy which is. Not great at work. Idk how to Calm Down but i need to.

 

Working on sleep would help with that. I think it's very hard to apply good emotional management to sleep deprivation emotions.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

2 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

Also another thing to work on this challenge- I never sleep through the night anymore and i have terrible anxiety every morning to the point of feeling sick and weepy which is. Not great at work. Idk how to Calm Down but i need to.

It's most likely anxiety about work, possibly fear of Making A Mistake. 

[Dusk]

Hi Miau 💜 I’m sorry you’re not sleeping well  I haven’t been either. That job sounds horribly exhausting... props for even surviving to the end of a 12 hour work day!!

[Maggie-Miau]

Heyoo all, will reply properly tomorrow. We've actually been given Thursday and Friday off- so a four-day weekend. Ngl im somewhat sad about what that means for my paycheck- the overtime i worked will basically just make up the difference for the two missing days, but also like. Heck yeah some recovery time. I've been feeling like the weekend isn't long enough to really stabilize and I'm kind of scrambling to keep up every week. Maybe i can actually get some energy back.

 

But also have to make the most of time off so:

 

- need to clean my room, first and foremost. It's a solid mess in here.

 

- catch up on schoolwork

 

- finish my JobCorps paperwork

 

- catch up laundry

 

- grocery list

 

- finish more crochet 

 

I think that's all the important stuff. For now though, sleeps 😂 it's after 9pm- at this point, that's late for me! 😅

[Salinger]

Hey Mia, sending love and solidarity xx

[Dusk]

I'm glad you get some more time to rest!! I hope you get some energy back 💜

[Maggie-Miau]

- need to clean my room, first and foremost. It's a solid mess in here.

- catch up on schoolwork

- finish my JobCorps paperwork

- catch up laundry

- grocery list ( in progress )

- finish more crochet  ( i have to put some toes and eyes on crochet frog )

 

started off today going to be a Nothing Day, just didn't feel like doing anything. finally perked up around noon and knocked out the above to-do list items. ran slap out of energy but. i feel like i can definitely get the rest done tomorrow and then! i have Saturday and Sunday still to recombobulate before work

[Maggie-Miau]

On 5/5/2021 at 6:29 AM, Dusk said:

Hi Miau 💜 I’m sorry you’re not sleeping well  I haven’t been either. That job sounds horribly exhausting... props for even surviving to the end of a 12 hour work day!!

 

Heyoo, Dusk! Sorry about your bad sleep hopefully we can both get to sleeping better soon! The job is exhausting, but i do like it a lot even with its assorted challenges i think the fact that we rotate stations every two hours helps- no matter what station i'm on, i only have to survive two hours at it before switching to a different one.

 

8 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Mia, sending love and solidarity xx

 

Thanks, Sal! Sending hugs in return! ❤️

 

On 5/4/2021 at 8:33 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

It's most likely anxiety about work, possibly fear of Making A Mistake. 

 

For sure! I've gotten in my head to be nervous of Team Lead. He's never shouted at me personally but he has had raised-voice arguments with other team members and i am not someone who handles being yelled at. I don't think he would yell at me but i also just don't like making mistakes. There isn't the same pressure like there was at The Other Job, but there's definitely some push.

 

On 5/4/2021 at 6:27 AM, sarakingdom said:

Working on sleep would help with that. I think it's very hard to apply good emotional management to sleep deprivation emotions.

 

I know you're right because every time there's an unexpected delay in getting home after work or something abruptly comes up to knock down the buffer between me and the 4am wakeup time, my nerves enter toddler mode. bursting into tears over tiny inconveniences is Irritating and i would like to not do it XD

[Maggie-Miau]

..........just noticed my hands didn't lock up so terribly as normal. usually they are Worse on the weekends (probably due to not being forced to get over it and get going like when i go to work) but also tho today after doing well all day they're locking up again XD not as much on the left hand but on the right i can't bend my fingers and when i manually bend them they just Lock. they only Look a little bit swollen. i'm curious as to when my body will stop trying to reject this job, though coworker L tells me it doesn't get better for the hands.

[Maggie-Miau]

- need to clean my room, first and foremost. It's a solid mess in here.

- catch up on schoolwork

- finish my JobCorps paperwork

- catch up laundry

- grocery list

- finish more crochet  ( i have to put some toes and eyes on crochet frog )

 

yay almost done with Long Weekend Checklist. not going to formally add anything else. the grocery list bit is muddled up- i have plenty of Real Food at home since i haven't been eating it (no perishable stuff, it's like, frozen veg and dried beans and stuff of that sort) so really all i need to get for groceries is like. stuff i can realistically eat at work. i have Saturday and Sunday to meal-prep so i will be set up to eat properly in the evenings next week.

 

i got a Physical Science exam done today. the first of 5. i'm looking forward to being done with this section because i am not skilled at scientific mathmatical braincell useage and it is all meaningless to me. i would like to change that about myself and have it 'click' but have yet to figure out how to make it happen. so i'm looking forward to the next section, which is Literature.

 

haven't eaten well today. it's 2pm and i've had a slice of vegan cheesecake and some water. there are brussels sprouts in the freezer. i might roast some of those.

 

will be out of the house tomorrow and part of Sunday, so no concrete plans yet.

[Maggie-Miau]

Back to Goal-y stuff, though:

 

current daily routine is like so:

 

- wake up around 4am
- get ready for work (shower/brush teeth/fill water jug, etc.)
- do some light exercises either before or after shower

- morning advil and rub hands with tiger balm so fingers will work

- in car by 5am

- at work by 6am, sometimes a little earlier

- put away lunchbox, add ice to water jug, either drink protein shake or try to eat something

- clock in usually around 6:15

- Work starts at 6:30am

- go on break between 7:30 and 8:30 depending on how they decide to do break on any given day. this is 10-min break.

- go on second break somewhere between 9:30 and 10:10 depending on how they're doing break that day. this is 20-min break.

- go on third break (10-min) idk somewhere after 12?

- on overtime days i also get a 10-min break around 2:20-30, and again somewhere after 3:30.

- on non-overtime days, between 2 and 2:40 pm work ends and i go wait in the foyer for momsauce.

- sometimes use that time to finish off lunchbox contents, read, whatever.

- usually in car by 5pm, home  by 6pm if we don't have to stop anywhere on the way home.

- v particular during work week to be in bed no later than 8:30pm, so roughly two-hour window to

- clean lunchbox, sort out clothes for next day, eat something, try to cram in some schoolwork, etc...

- that's rare now tho bc i'm one of only three people on the team who do overtime via staying over rather than coming in early, so most days it's going to be

- work ends at 6:30

- in car immediately bc momsauce has been Waiting, home around 7:30pm

- try to do Clean Lunchbox Speedrun fall in bed and die

 

edit: also the Breaks are somewhat shortened by the location of the breakroom and bathroom in relation to the work area. the breakroom is across the room and upstairs, and the bathroom is just way across the room from the work area. we're Allowed to request bathroom breaks outside of normal breaks, but Team Lead is moody about that and i usually avoid doing so and just wait until normal breaks. so the 10-min breaks are also a speedrun of, visit facilities, refill ice in jug  because it melts immediately upon getting back to work area, chug a shake or nibble some bites, zoom back to work station.

 

also still waking up 2-3-4 times per night.

[Maggie-Miau]

I'm here at Former Employers new office. Momsauce is being transferred to the new building and needed help moving her stuff from the old one. I could and should have stayed home. My brother was able to provide as much assistance as required and im about two minutes away from McLosing It for No Reason. Had to come sit outside just to be able to breathe. I could have stayed home and worked on schoolwork but didn't think to say no. Now stuck here until whenever we get to leave. Doesn't help that I really need some water and there's none available. Unpleasant feels at the moment. 😔 

 

Edit: just to get the grouchiness out. Now momsauce is on the phone with Former Employer and the entire day is on hold while he goes on and on and i can hear his voice and mom's faking nice with him because at the moment she's semi back in favor because he's mad at other employees right now. I hate this man's voice. 

 

#negativity over I'll be good now. Just need some water and to get home.

 

Edit: McHeckin' lost it when mom got off the phone with Former Employer. Could cry again now but it's like. Hrrrrrrrrg that man

[Dusk]

My word, that sounds awful I hope you're feeling better now *huuug*

[Maggie-Miau]

2 hours ago, Dusk said:

My word, that sounds awful I hope you're feeling better now *huuug*

 

*hugs* thank you, Dusk. Better now, yes ♥️

[Dusk]

1 minute ago, Maggie-Miau said:

 

*hugs* thank you, Dusk. Better now, yes ♥️

I’m glad 💜

[Maggie-Miau]

today:

 

been out allllll day on errands. got some snacks for work. would like some apples but didn't see any good ones today.

 

i'm strongly considering ordering Huel to help with the food situation. it actually has calories and carbohydrates and isn't marketed specifically for weightloss- some people do use it for that, but i've also seen people using it for gains. i know shakes aren't 'real' food and it's not ideal by any means, but so far it looks like my best option for boosting nutrition during my weird annoying low-appetite times.

 

finishing up the crochet frog now and then i'm hoping to get a little more schoolwork done before bed, but i do also have to be at work at 5:30am. pretty sure it'll be a 12-hour day again, too. so early night if at all possible.

[sarakingdom]

If it has calories, it's real food. There's nothing wrong with being pragmatic about what fits your life and needs. Check the cost per serving against some competitors, because I suspect you can do better than $2 per serving. There are really good shaker cups for mixing powdered shakes well on the go. (Also, if you're at home, yogurt and frozen fruit in a blender is a great way to go for meal replacement shakes, and will bring your costs down. Not that doable out of the house, though.)