SkyGirl Posted May 3, 2021 Report Share Posted May 3, 2021 STORY TBD 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 3, 2021 Report Share Posted May 3, 2021 Here to follow! 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted May 4, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Hey guys!!! Guess what!!! Your girl has agreed to take up the mantle of one of the most exciting adventures in her life and become A WIFE!!! My boyfriend Eamon proposed to me two days ago, and I said yes; and here I sit, with a beautiful diamond ring on my finger, screaming YER A BRIDE, HARRY every time it catches the light. What makes my story slightly different than your standard "and he's going to sweep me off my feet and we'll live happily ever after" story, is that I have severe relationship anxiety, as a result of my crippling fear of failure, lack of self-trust, shame surrounding sex and sexuality, and extreme perfectionism, all of which my therapist has given me permission to refer to as trauma responses. (Welcome to the deep end of Sky's story, sorry to dunk you in immediately.) While one part of me knew within a few weeks of meeting Eamon that he was the man I wanted to marry, the process of getting to this point has felt like steering a small boat in a perpetual high wind, occasionally finding coves or islands of peace and happiness for a few weeks here and there, but most of the time bravely keeping the bow pointed toward the lighthouse that is my goal of marrying and maintaining a healthy daily relationship with my boyfriend-fiancé-husband. So the next few months (we haven't set a date yet) are going to look like Level 2 of what I was starting to get the hang of as a girlfriend: Caring for the hurt and frightened parts of myself as they resist moving forward into what scares them, learning to be vulnerable and trust Eamon as he consistently demonstrates that he is here for me no matter what, working hard in therapy, and continuing to support my body's health in the meantime, especially because my anxiety often manifests as distressing physical symptoms. (Today, for example, since I have repressed my regular intrusive / anxious thoughts for a couple of days, they're back to showing up as muscle tension, flushing, trembling, brain fog, and difficulty falling asleep. I need to do some journaling / processing / yoga to release the block so I start to feel better.) The big project for this month is foundational wedding planning. We're hoping not to be engaged for very long, so that will probably be a big part of my focus during this challenge. I already feel slightly overwhelmed by it, but overall I'm really excited - I enjoy event planning and I'm really excited to work together with Eamon and our families on our own special day. It will be surreal to be the center of attention for the next few months but I'm going to try to relax and enjoy it as much as I can. In the meantime, I obviously need to keep my weight stable (I'M GOING DRESS SHOPPING ON SATURDAY!!!!), while doing regular self-care and attending to my normal everyday life. So I'm not going to quantify most of my goals this challenge, but they look something like this: Wedding planning Find a dress!! Set the date, budget, venue, and guest list Track my weight I solemnly swear I will not starve myself or obsessively calorie-count to look skinny on my wedding day. I already struggle with mildly disordered eating under stress and I do not want to do that to myself. That said, I will try to stay within ~4 pounds of the weight I am when I buy my dress, just for ease. Exercise daily This is crucial for physical and mental health. Yoga, pilates, and walking are preferred. Take care of my mind, heart, and soul Prioritize my Bible reading and find nourishing devotionals and reading plans to supplement my current reading Use journaling, exercise, therapy, and talking to friends to release anxious thoughts and keep them from becoming blocked in my body Invest in other things I enjoy besides wedding planning (sing karaoke, do crafts, do things with friends, read, watch my favorite movies) to keep balance and remember that I'm a whole person and the same Sky I always was I will probably think of more, but these are the big ones. It's midnight but I'm going to do a little yoga before bed, and also get a snack - my stomach is growling! 11 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
TimovieMan Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congrats!!! 👍 1 Quote Active challenges: Balancing sleep and gaming | Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) | DailyDare 2023 threads: Challenge VIII | IX 2018-19 & 2021 threads: Battle log | Challenge I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII Link to comment
Mr_Willes Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congrats Sky! I'm so happy for you, as i think this step will surely help in getting some more piece of mind! 1 Quote ... a little odd in the head ... Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congratulations, I have been secretly cheering you both on from the shadows 1 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Recipe Book Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congrats! We found the website The Knot extremely helpful in planning. It was a great way to stay organized and took a lot of anxiety out of the equation. It lets you send out ONE link for all your registries, keeps track of who bought what, whether you've sent thank you notes, addresses for invites, all of that stuff. 2 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Dusk Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congratulations, dear friend!! 🥰 🎉 💜 1 Quote Link to comment
Grizzy Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 13 hours ago, SkyGirl said: YER A BRIDE, HARRY CONGRAAAAATS!!!! 2 Quote Challenge Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congrats!! I second Tank in this one - The Knot was a lifesaver for my wedding. If you have any questions about planning just give me a shout! I'll help where I can ❤️ 2 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
DrFeelgood Posted May 4, 2021 Report Share Posted May 4, 2021 Congrats! 1 Quote He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Spreadsheets Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted May 5, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 18 hours ago, TimovieMan said: Congrats!!! 👍 Thank you, my friend! 18 hours ago, Mr_Willes said: Congrats Sky! I'm so happy for you, as i think this step will surely help in getting some more piece of mind! Thank you so much, Willes! I definitely feel a lot different than I did before engagement - the anxiety is still very much there, but it feels so different because I've answered some of the "what if's" and moved on to a different, much more concrete set of them. 16 hours ago, WhiteGhost said: Congratulations, I have been secretly cheering you both on from the shadows You're the best, Ghost! Haven't seen you around these parts for a while! 12 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Congrats! We found the website The Knot extremely helpful in planning. It was a great way to stay organized and took a lot of anxiety out of the equation. It lets you send out ONE link for all your registries, keeps track of who bought what, whether you've sent thank you notes, addresses for invites, all of that stuff. 8 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Congrats!! I second Tank in this one - The Knot was a lifesaver for my wedding. If you have any questions about planning just give me a shout! I'll help where I can ❤️ So is The Knot better than Wedding Wire? We have an account there but I honestly picked it kind of randomly - they seem to have similar features but I can't tell if there's a significant difference. Also thank you!! ❤️ 2 hours ago, DrFeelgood said: Congrats! Thank you!! 9 hours ago, Dusk said: Congratulations, dear friend!! 🥰 🎉 💜 Thank you my dearest Dusk!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 8 hours ago, Grizzy said: CONGRAAAAATS!!!! THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!! 4 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 I never heard of Wedding Wire, so I can't compare, I just know we were happy with The Knot. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Again seconding Tank - only used The Knot. 2 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
DrFeelgood Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Thirding Tank from a different perspective: wedding-planning sites weren't a thing when I got married back in 2004, but the weddings I've been invited to in the past few years have used The Knot and it was very helpful as a guest/participant to be able to pull all the salient info up on my screen at any given moment. 4 Quote He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Spreadsheets Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 2 hours ago, DrFeelgood said: Thirding Tank from a different perspective: wedding-planning sites weren't a thing when I got married back in 2004, but the weddings I've been invited to in the past few years have used The Knot and it was very helpful as a guest/participant to be able to pull all the salient info up on my screen at any given moment. Reminds me of your kids enjoying the pool on the roof of that hotel. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Maggie-Miau Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 *sends all the hugs* congratulations, Sky! 1 Quote Matthew 25:34-40 Link to comment
Red1263 Posted May 7, 2021 Report Share Posted May 7, 2021 1 Quote Level 25 Final Fantasy Rebel My Epic Quest | My Journey | Currently on the Trial of Orthos Str: 60 | Dex: 23 | Sta: 66 | Con: 28 | Wis: 55 | Cha: 14 Goals for 2021: Spoiler Build my brother a Destiny 2 Lamp Learn how to do a Handstand Play 1 song on the acoustic guitar Clean up the Christmas Decorations and finish setting up my apartment (hang things up, plus some other few things that need to be organized) Re-introduce Pull-ups into my routine Build a shelving unit next to my Desk "No matter what, if you can hold your head up high, you've done the right thing." "When you stand with your family, your family stands with you." "Write what needs to be written." Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted May 8, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2021 I am absolutely exhausted and suffering from more introverted overstimulation than I've felt in years, but I can't begin to describe or explain the deep peace I am filled and surrounded with right now. ❤️ Eamon and I are home with my family in the Midwest; and the last three days have filled me with a calm and quiet of spirit that I haven't felt since before the pandemic started. On Wednesday, Eamon came up to my place so I could be with him while we called a family member about a difficult interpersonal situation that will likely arise at our wedding. It was a hard conversation, but getting to plan it out together and stand on our decision as a team made me feel a little like a young Jedi the first time she uses the Force - it was the first time we got to set a boundary as fiancé / fiancée, and the conversation went smoothly, and we checked in after it was done and found that our intuition of how it went was aligned and we felt the same about the result. ❤️ We've been with my family since yesterday, and wow - if I thought being back home with all seven of my family members was overwhelming the last time I was home, I had no idea how it would feel after eight months of near-total isolation! But in all seriousness, seeing Eamon interact with my family has filled my heart with happiness and peace. He has gone out of his way to spend one-on-one time with each member of my family, even the ones with disabilities or very different personalities; when he's seen me feeling overwhelmed, he's taken me aside for some quiet time; he went with me to campus to see some of the places that were meaningful to me, even when they weren't that interesting otherwise; and as he always does, he's pitched in to help with every meal. I was startled both last night and tonight to realize that, at the end of the night when everyone was getting tired and ready for bed, my instinctual inclination was to turn to him; because more so than ever before, Eamon is home to me. I know a few people close to me predicted that my anxiety would ease significantly once I committed to marrying him and we got engaged, but I didn't really expect that to be true. Yet, while I know it's not magically "gone" and there will absolutely be times when it resurfaces, likely very soon, right now I feel a calm from having chosen my path and a confidence that I have made the right choice. I think this is the first time I've allowed myself to just be in love with Eamon. I really haven't felt this giddy, everything-is-possible, beginning-of-the-adventure feeling before in our relationship. But I really do feel that way. I feel like I'm coming home. I feel like I'm free to fully become myself in a new way, along with him, as we start this new chapter of our lives. ... but I'll stop gushing at you. Food was terrible today, mostly restaurant food with a too-small dinner; but we did walk a little over 4 miles, and I slept great last night. Tomorrow we're going to hang out at a park with some of my siblings, and I hope to try to find some other interesting thing for Eamon to do (there really isn't a whole lot to do in my little town ); and then in the afternoon I'm going dress shopping and I am so freaking stoked. Like, I have no concept of myself as a bride. I seriously can't picture myself in a wedding dress. My family has been a little pushy and tried to make some early wedding decisions for me, but I'm not too fazed by it - the few choices I've made I'm already settled in, and Eamon and I have a process we're following and we're going to follow it. They're just very excited and want to help out, and that's wonderful. ❤️ Okay, I'm falling asleep and still need to shower (I smell like a horse). Goodnight frens!! 7 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted May 8, 2021 Report Share Posted May 8, 2021 Ooh, setting boundaries together is awesome! I'm so happy you have been able to fully enjoy your relationship! 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted May 8, 2021 Report Share Posted May 8, 2021 This is so great to hear! You sound like your time with your family is giving you much joy ❤️ 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
Dusk Posted May 8, 2021 Report Share Posted May 8, 2021 🥰 aaaaa I’m so happy for you! I’m glad things are going well, and that you have that sense of peace... that’s so wonderful. 💜 2 Quote Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted May 8, 2021 Report Share Posted May 8, 2021 That all sounds lovely! So glad you and Eamon both had a chance to visit your family! 2 Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
DrFeelgood Posted May 9, 2021 Report Share Posted May 9, 2021 Gush away! It's nice for you to get to experience, and it's fun for those of us on down the path a ways to relive those early days through y'all. 2 Quote He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Spreadsheets Link to comment
juliebarkley Posted May 14, 2021 Report Share Posted May 14, 2021 On 5/4/2021 at 12:10 AM, SkyGirl said: Hey guys!!! Guess what!!! Your girl has agreed to take up the mantle of one of the most exciting adventures in her life and become A WIFE!!! Congrats so much! The gushing is lovely too; excited and happy and in love makes the world a better place. On 5/4/2021 at 12:10 AM, SkyGirl said: Invest in other things I enjoy besides wedding planning (sing karaoke, do crafts, do things with friends, read, watch my favorite movies) to keep balance and remember that I'm a whole person and the same Sky I always was Yes yes yes! He loves you for you, so nurture that youness! 1 Quote Challenge: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 Link to comment
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