dusk: burnout

[Dusk]

Hi again. again.

 

I'm so tired.

 

I'm working on finishing my master's report, but I'm battling pretty gnarly burnout. At the same time, my health is... not that great. I'm overweight, and I just found out today that I've got slightly elevated cholesterol. So I need to take steps to improve, like, soon. Regardless of the school situation. Before my health gets worse.

 

- I'm meeting with a nutritionist in my student health center later this week, to get some guidance on specific dietary changes to bring my health into line. So, nutrition goals pending.

 

- I'd like to start being physically active too. Any amount is fine, after spending the past year essentially sedentary... Oof. I'm trying to go to my campus office more often, since it seems l can focus better there; so as long as I can keep myself doing that regularly (and get myself to walk rather than drive!) that will be good. Aiming for 3x/week.

 

- Lastly, trying to get my sleeping in line. Goal is to try and be in bed by 9pm every night. Ideally even earlier than that, since my beloved spouse has to wake up at 4am to get ready for work; but 9pm bedtime is doable. My doctor gave me a medication to take as needed that's supposed to help with anxiety, with the side effect of drowsiness; since I have trouble falling/staying asleep because of my brain racing around at 1,000,000 mph finding things to be anxious about, it should kill two birds with one... tiny digestible medicated stone.

 

Tagging myself as a rookie for this one, since I'm considering this a respawn. Let's gooo-

[Dusk]

Gosh, apparently I don't know how to computer anymore. I accidentally quoted my own post rather than editing. Oops.  Maybe I'll use this space for tracking my goals later on. *shrug*

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

Dusk!! Lovely to have you back ❤️ 

 

Burnout is a struggle. I hope you can get things figured out ❤️ I believe in you!

[Dusk]

17 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Dusk!! Lovely to have you back ❤️ 

 

Burnout is a struggle. I hope you can get things figured out ❤️ I believe in you!

Thank you Jedi 🥰 it’s good to see you! 
Yeah, it’s been tough, but I think know I can do it. Being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel helps! I WILL be finished with school in August, and then I can have a breather.

[Alanna]

Following! I respawned last challenge and have similar goals (even down to the 3x/week walk!) as I'm finishing up grad school, too. It's great that you're taking advantage of nutrition resources at your university while you are still a student. Good luck with your goals!

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

4 hours ago, Dusk said:

Thank you Jedi 🥰 it’s good to see you! 
Yeah, it’s been tough, but I think know I can do it. Being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel helps! I WILL be finished with school in August, and then I can have a breather.

You can, I believe in you ❤️❤️ 

[sarakingdom]

Ugh, burnout peeps unite. That's at least three of us.

[Rookie]

Hi Dusk! Thats awesome you have access to a nutritionist on campus 😮

Happy respawn

[Dusk]

5 hours ago, Alanna said:

Following! I respawned last challenge and have similar goals (even down to the 3x/week walk!) as I'm finishing up grad school, too. It's great that you're taking advantage of nutrition resources at your university while you are still a student. Good luck with your goals!

 

Eyy grad school gang ✌️  what are you studying? When are you aiming to graduate?

And thank you! Good luck to you as well!

(I almost typed "good lunch" 😂  )

 

2 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

You can, I believe in you ❤️❤️ 

 

Thank youuu 💜  💜

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

Ugh, burnout peeps unite. That's at least three of us.

 

 

1 hour ago, Rookie said:

Hi Dusk! Thats awesome you have access to a nutritionist on campus 😮

Happy respawn

 

Yeah! I'm super grateful that my university has so many resources available to students. I hope to make the most of them before I graduate!

[Alanna]

1 hour ago, Dusk said:

Eyy grad school gang ✌️  what are you studying? When are you aiming to graduate?

And thank you! Good luck to you as well!

(I almost typed "good lunch" 😂  )

 

Computational neuroscience, and I'll be submitting my thesis during this challenge 😬. After that, it will be 2-3 months until my viva and then hopefully I'll pass and any corrections won't take too long.

 

I'll take a good lunch, too 😂

 

[Dusk]

1 hour ago, Alanna said:

 

Computational neuroscience, and I'll be submitting my thesis during this challenge 😬. After that, it will be 2-3 months until my viva and then hopefully I'll pass and any corrections won't take too long.

 

I'll take a good lunch, too 😂

 

Oh dang, thats rad!! Neuroscience is so cool!! So computational neuroscience... like modeling brain stuff? 

I’m doing particle physics, but I never actually did any of my own research so I’m just doing a master’s report so I can get my degree and get the heck outta dodge 😂 it turns out I like learning about physics much more than actually doing physics. At least now I know which careers are not for me, lmao.

[Alanna]

10 hours ago, Dusk said:

Oh dang, thats rad!! Neuroscience is so cool!! So computational neuroscience... like modeling brain stuff? 

I’m doing particle physics, but I never actually did any of my own research so I’m just doing a master’s report so I can get my degree and get the heck outta dodge 😂 it turns out I like learning about physics much more than actually doing physics. At least now I know which careers are not for me, lmao.

 

More data analysis for my project - mostly time series analysis of brain activity. I've done some modelling (in the "building a simplified biophysical model" sense) in the past, though! There are some free online Computational Neuroscience courses - I think Coursera has one from the University of Washington - if you want to learn more about comp neuro some day  

 

Particle physics sounds really interesting, too! I like research (at least the computational stuff - wet lab wasn't my cup of tea), but don't want to stay in academia long-term. Do you know what you'd like to do after you graduate?

[Dusk]

12 hours ago, Alanna said:

 

More data analysis for my project - mostly time series analysis of brain activity. I've done some modelling (in the "building a simplified biophysical model" sense) in the past, though! There are some free online Computational Neuroscience courses - I think Coursera has one from the University of Washington - if you want to learn more about comp neuro some day  

 

Particle physics sounds really interesting, too! I like research (at least the computational stuff - wet lab wasn't my cup of tea), but don't want to stay in academia long-term. Do you know what you'd like to do after you graduate?

 

Oh ok, cool! My research group is doing pretty much 100% data analysis right now, and I am... not cut out for it lol. I will definitely look into that course someday though, that sounds super interesting! The closest I've gotten to learning about neuroscience was in undergrad when I took a class on biopsychology... that was probably one of my favorite classes I've ever taken!

 

I'm gonna take a short break after I graduate, and then just look for something around town to pay the bills for the short term. Long term... I dunno, it'll depend how much I like or dislike the less... intellectual?... jobs. Right now, keeping my intellectual energy to myself sounds real nice.

[Dusk]

Zero week update!

 

I met with the nutritionist earlier today, and she sent me some pamphlets: several generic meal-ideas type charts; one packet on cholesterol, detailing what foods to avoid and what you can substitute them with; as well as one on mindful eating, along the same lines of the book Intuitive Eating. So, over the next couple weeks I'm going to read through those and start coming up with a plan; and we're going to have a follow-up meeting where I can ask questions and maybe refine some of my ideas.

 

I'm excited (and also quite nervous) to try eating healthier without my weight as the goal/sole focus. In previous tries at healthier eating, I have inadvertently honed in on my weight, which led me to some... mmm unhealthy behaviors, we shall say. I don't want to go down that road again, so I'll be putting special emphasis on the mindful eating ideas, as well as specific non-weight health outcomes (lower cholesterol, less fat around my waist so that bending over is easier, etc.). I'm also in a much healthier headspace now than when the aforementioned unhealthy behaviors occurred, so hopefully that will help.

 

I haven't gone in to my campus office at all this week... ripperoni. I've had several doctors appointments and other meetings, and I quite easily fall into the trap of "there's something scheduled later today so I can't do anything until then". Not sure how to overcome that one 😅  anyone have any tips?

[aquadwayne]

25 minutes ago, Dusk said:

I'm excited (and also quite nervous) to try eating healthier without my weight as the goal/sole focus.

I've also been practicing this lately. Years ago I tracked calories meticulously which I don't think was very healthy (mentally). I've found that focusing on eating the right things and asking myself if I'm actually hungry or just bored has not only led to lower stress levels, but also allowed me to be more consistent on my diet while still enjoying life with a wife and two kids, and taught me that this isn't an all-or-nothing deal. I generally feel better, have a better self-image because I'm not just beating myself up about my weight or diet, and it seems like I'm more focused on the long term goal of being healthy rather than just making the scale go down for the week at all costs.

 

29 minutes ago, Dusk said:

I haven't gone in to my campus office at all this week... ripperoni. I've had several doctors appointments and other meetings, and I quite easily fall into the trap of "there's something scheduled later today so I can't do anything until then". Not sure how to overcome that one 😅  anyone have any tips?

As far as this is concerned, I'm not sure what you're falling into that trap with. Diet? Exercise? Both? Other things?

 

I don't remember where I read it, but it said if you don't feel like going to the gym put your clothes on or hop in the car and get on the road. If you get on the road and still don't make it to the gym then maybe there's something going on, but most of the time if you just start heading in that direction you'll find your way there. I've also read other things such as "if it takes less than 5 minutes, just do it." There's no point in putting it off if it only takes 5 minutes because you'll be done with it and then it's off your plate. Another thing I've heard is that if you can "be brave for 20 seconds, it can change your life". While this doesn't apply directly here, the same principle could be applied. Rather than being brave, replace it with "healthy". If I can make the healthy choice for the next 20 seconds, it could change my life. Do this enough times and it will have real impact.

 

Just remember, a cathedral is built with lots of small bricks just like your epic story is built on lots of little choices. Don't worry about what's coming or what you've done earlier. Just focus on making the right choice in this moment and go from there. Much less overwhelming that way because you don't feel like you have to make up for what's already done, but you also don't have to shoulder the weight of planning for the unknown. Trust yourself. Make good choices even if they're boring or not as easy as being lazy. You can do it!

[ninjakitten]

Always curious to see how fellow respawners are doing. 💚

 

44 minutes ago, Dusk said:

I haven't gone in to my campus office at all this week... ripperoni. I've had several doctors appointments and other meetings, and I quite easily fall into the trap of "there's something scheduled later today so I can't do anything until then". Not sure how to overcome that one 😅  anyone have any tips?

 

I guess it does depend on the reason. I sometimes get this myself because I can get quite anxious about being late to my appointments etc. So for me just making a good plan with specific times and allowing for a bit extra helps. (So I'd probably try it out on a day without too much going on, check how long it exactly takes me and go from there.) Otherwise it sometimes just might take me a few times of being uncomfortable and doing it anyway, just to get over it. Eventually it does get easier. But to get a good idea you probably need to figure out why you feel like you cannot do anything before your appointments are done.

[Maggie-Miau]

*waves pompoms* following! How is the sleep coming, if i may ask?

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

15 hours ago, Dusk said:

Zero week update!

 

I met with the nutritionist earlier today, and she sent me some pamphlets: several generic meal-ideas type charts; one packet on cholesterol, detailing what foods to avoid and what you can substitute them with; as well as one on mindful eating, along the same lines of the book Intuitive Eating. So, over the next couple weeks I'm going to read through those and start coming up with a plan; and we're going to have a follow-up meeting where I can ask questions and maybe refine some of my ideas.

 

I'm excited (and also quite nervous) to try eating healthier without my weight as the goal/sole focus. In previous tries at healthier eating, I have inadvertently honed in on my weight, which led me to some... mmm unhealthy behaviors, we shall say. I don't want to go down that road again, so I'll be putting special emphasis on the mindful eating ideas, as well as specific non-weight health outcomes (lower cholesterol, less fat around my waist so that bending over is easier, etc.). I'm also in a much healthier headspace now than when the aforementioned unhealthy behaviors occurred, so hopefully that will help.

 

I haven't gone in to my campus office at all this week... ripperoni. I've had several doctors appointments and other meetings, and I quite easily fall into the trap of "there's something scheduled later today so I can't do anything until then". Not sure how to overcome that one 😅  anyone have any tips?

Oh that's awesome! That's how I try to handle things with food in general. It's so much better of a mindset. 

 

Also with the office stuff - maybe it would work to have it all planned out together? I like to go out once and do everything all at the same time. So I don't go home between appointments and such. Like if you have a doctor's appointment then you go before or after your appointment?

[aquadwayne]

16 hours ago, ninjakitten said:

But to get a good idea you probably need to figure out why you feel like you cannot do anything before your appointments are done.

Definitely. I think addressing the cause rather than the symptoms is going to be the best way to fix it.

[Rurik Harrgath]

18 hours ago, Dusk said:

I'm excited (and also quite nervous) to try eating healthier without my weight as the goal/sole focus. 

 

That's such a healthy mindset that pretty much everyone should benefit from.  There's no punishment or denying philosophy there, just health.  Food is fuel and can be fun, you needn't just eating plain salads to reduce calories to the absurd like we do sometimes 🤣 that was a good reminder at the end of Week Zero!

[Dusk]

Thank you all for the thoughtful replies!! 💜

 

19 hours ago, aquadwayne said:

As far as this is concerned, I'm not sure what you're falling into that trap with. Diet? Exercise? Both? Other things?

 

19 hours ago, ninjakitten said:

I guess it does depend on the reason. I sometimes get this myself because I can get quite anxious about being late to my appointments etc. So for me just making a good plan with specific times and allowing for a bit extra helps. (So I'd probably try it out on a day without too much going on, check how long it exactly takes me and go from there.) Otherwise it sometimes just might take me a few times of being uncomfortable and doing it anyway, just to get over it. Eventually it does get easier. But to get a good idea you probably need to figure out why you feel like you cannot do anything before your appointments are done.

 

4 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Also with the office stuff - maybe it would work to have it all planned out together? I like to go out once and do everything all at the same time. So I don't go home between appointments and such. Like if you have a doctor's appointment then you go before or after your appointment?

 

3 hours ago, aquadwayne said:

Definitely. I think addressing the cause rather than the symptoms is going to be the best way to fix it.

 

Yeah, figuring out why this happens is definitely important. It's been a struggle for a while and I have talked with my therapist about it several times. It may be a combo of anxiety, as ninjakitten said, plus not feeling competent/"good enough", plus executive dysfunction, plus the unconscious feeling that if I don't have time to do All of the Task, then I can't do it. Which is bologna of course! And when I'm able to catch myself when it's happening, I'm able to tell myself "ah, no, Dusk, you can use even five minutes toward the task, and it's still five minutes of work you haven't put in before." I'm gonna think of ways to remind myself of this.

 

19 hours ago, aquadwayne said:

I don't remember where I read it, but it said if you don't feel like going to the gym put your clothes on or hop in the car and get on the road. If you get on the road and still don't make it to the gym then maybe there's something going on, but most of the time if you just start heading in that direction you'll find your way there. I've also read other things such as "if it takes less than 5 minutes, just do it." There's no point in putting it off if it only takes 5 minutes because you'll be done with it and then it's off your plate. Another thing I've heard is that if you can "be brave for 20 seconds, it can change your life". While this doesn't apply directly here, the same principle could be applied. Rather than being brave, replace it with "healthy". If I can make the healthy choice for the next 20 seconds, it could change my life. Do this enough times and it will have real impact.

 

Just remember, a cathedral is built with lots of small bricks just like your epic story is built on lots of little choices. Don't worry about what's coming or what you've done earlier. Just focus on making the right choice in this moment and go from there. Much less overwhelming that way because you don't feel like you have to make up for what's already done, but you also don't have to shoulder the weight of planning for the unknown. Trust yourself. Make good choices even if they're boring or not as easy as being lazy. You can do it!

 

I love this! Lots of great reminders in here, thank you  

 

17 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

*waves pompoms* following! How is the sleep coming, if i may ask?

 

Hi Miau! 🥰

Mm, it's going ok! Haven't been getting to bed as early as I wanted, but there were extraneous circumstances, so I don't fault myself for that. The medication my doctor gave me is helping a bit with the racing thoughts as I'm trying to fall asleep, at least!

 

1 hour ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

That's such a healthy mindset that pretty much everyone should benefit from.  There's no punishment or denying philosophy there, just health.  Food is fuel and can be fun, you needn't just eating plain salads to reduce calories to the absurd like we do sometimes 🤣 that was a good reminder at the end of Week Zero!

 

Indeed! Reducing calories to the absurd is definitely not healthy and definitely something I find myself far too inclined to do sometimes. I'm excited to nurture this healthier way of viewing... well, health!  (how many times can I say "health" in one post?? lmao)

[Chesire]

Following!  Don't have much to add to the amazing points made so far.

 

But, geez, the idea of eating simply to eat for a healthy goal, long-term, not weight loss sounds almost restful(?)  I don't even know if that's the word I want!

 

Good luck with all the things

[Dusk]

On 5/8/2021 at 6:07 AM, Chesire said:

Following!  Don't have much to add to the amazing points made so far.

 

But, geez, the idea of eating simply to eat for a healthy goal, long-term, not weight loss sounds almost restful(?)  I don't even know if that's the word I want!

 

Good luck with all the things

 

Hello!  

 

Truly!! I know what you mean, it's a hard feeling to describe... unpressured??

 

Thank you!

[Dusk]

Greetings! It's technically the first day of challenge Week 1! (Even though in my head, weeks begin on Mondays  lol)

 

Goals for the week:

 

1. Think of more dinner ideas. As I'm trying to come up with my cholesterol-friendly meal plan, I'm realizing that I'm terrible at meal planning 😂   Breakfast and lunch are pretty good already, and I've got some healthier snacks for this week, but dinner is ???. I've started a spreadsheet where I can keep track of key nutritional info for various meals I commonly make, and I've got a few that are actually surprisingly okay, cholesterol/saturated fat/etc.-wise. But I need a little more variety, particularly options that are easy to prepare/have on demand on nights I don't feel like cooking.

Edited to add: I also want to read through my mindful eating handout this week.

 

2.  Walk to campus on Monday, Tuesday, and either Thursday or Friday.  That last day depends on a few factors; one of my friends wants to hang out and/or go shopping this week, but she's not sure when she'll be free. Also, Thursday is husband's day off, so I wanna a) spend time with him and b) run some errands together.

 

3. Same "in bed by 9pm at the very latest" goal as in my original post. I need to remember to take my medication at around 7pm, and also thinking I should start winding down conversations with my online peoples at that time so I can wind myself down for sleep.

[ninjakitten]

I'm the most boring person when it comes to planning dinners. I rotate through maybe 16 options, at best with some seasonal changes... But coming up with those when you change something (like watching your cholesterol) is such a pain. Definitely a worthy goal for the coming week. Probably not for everyone but for meals I still really like having my recipes on cards - like actual physical copies - and whenever I have to plan for grocery shopping, I just get the box with my recipe cards out, pick X amount that look decent and pin them to the fridge till next time. I always really disliked planning my meals and this helped me a lot... I know it probably won't help much with finding recipes in the first place. 😅

 

Good luck for the new week! 💚