Miss Marissa

[miss_marissa]

One thing has become abundantly clear and that is the due to the events of the past year I definitely am suffering from some sort of burnout. 

 

1) Try to recover from burnout

- Probably go to therapy or something (how TF does one do therapy???? The last time I saw a therapist was in college when it was as simple as walking to the student health center & seeing someone for free)

- read this book about burnout that I already own a kindle copy of

- figure out some boundaries around work hours

- probably do something for fun or that I enjoy just because

This goal will be tracked by writing here what steps I've taken to do better here. I will also track pages read from the book (out of 275).

 

2) Lose weight / nutrition

It is almost shorts season and my shorts don't fit as comfortably as they did last year. Weight has definitely gotten higher, haven't stepped on a scale in a while, but I can just tell. Will weigh myself in AM which will help further direct this goal, numerically. This will be the first time I am intentionally trying to lose weight in a few years and I am a little nervous about it.

I kind of have the itch to get back into some sort of loose tracking, but worried about putting that on my plate or doing too much. I think maybe doing a rough tracking like precision nutrition method of XX thumbs of fat, XX palms of protein, etc.  I do eat a lot more vegetarian/vegan meals than when I was strictly tracking, so I'll need to do a bit of research on this to figure out how to effectively incorporate vegan protein sources. A big thing for me will be reducing the snacking/junk foods as I have a major sweet tooth.

I've had success in the past with carb cycling, but I think maybe just loose tracking for one challenge would be good before I try to attempt that again. 

 

OK. I weighed myself 5/5 and 5/6 in the morning coming in at 158.8 and then 158.6 lb. This is about where I thought I would be. For the record, when I first decided I needed to start losing weight ~7 years ago, the number on the scale was 161. This is the closest I have been to that number since, and honestly, I'm not as worried about it as I thought I should be. My body composition is vastly different from what it was then. My lifestyle is also vastly different. Back then I did barely any exercise maybe a few short walks/day. My idea of a healthy lunch was a lean cuisine. I drank way too much and ate out way too much.  Alternately, somewhere after that I started that journey when I was at my lowest (~126 lb) I was obsessively counting and weighing my food, spending any free time I had in a gym, working out 4-5x/week, not having any semblance of a social life or hobbies outside of the gym. Now I'm somewhere in the middle. Up until the past ~6 months, I had been pretty comfortably weighing in the 150-153ish lb range for the past probably 3ish years. I think I'd like to aim to be somewhere in the 140-145 range. I'd like to target 145 lb by the end of July. The precision nutrition method says that puts me at ~1700 cals/day which seems reasonable. They also translate this to the following quantities daily: 5 palms of protein, 4-6 fists of veggies, 4 cupped handfuls of carbs, 4 thumbs of fats. Since this is my first time back into any sort of tracking in a long time, I kind of want to just see how it goes the first 2 weeks and see if this is sustainable before I hold myself to these targets. I will also weigh myself no more than 2x/week.

 

3) Move (Ended up adding as a goal because could be an easy win, so why not)

Have been generally consistent with 3x/week workouts with the exception of the 1 week where I had my first COVID shot and was suffering from seasonal allergies and only got 1 workout in. I do have my second shot next week so anticipating some side effects. 

- 3x/week gym workouts, 1x/week doing something outside (hike, bike, golf, ultimate, etc)

 

4) Gardening/Landscaping project(s)

I have many including wanting to build raised beds for veggie gardens (we have a lot of squirrels), landscaping edging and some other stonework surrounding trees. I'd like to get one of these projects done by the end of the challenge.

 

As you can see I have some finessing of my goals before they are trackable, but I figure hopping back here and setting an intention is a start.

 

Daily Tracking will look like

1) Burnout Journal

##/275 pages

2)

☐☐☐☐☐ 5 palms of protein

☐☐☐☐☐☐ 4-6 fists of veggies

☐☐☐☐ 4 cupped handfuls of carbs

☐☐☐☐ 4 thumbs of fat

☑ completed check for copy/paste ease in the future - ok it's going to bug me this doesn't match the same size as those above, but I pasted this from a previous challenge. Anyone have a good blank one I can steal that is the same size? lol

3) ##/3 gym workouts, #/1 outside

4) Landscaping project updates

[Harriet]

I wish you a convincing recovery! May you be rested and rejuvenated.

 

I don't know how to see a therapist in your country. Do you need a referral from a GP or can you call a therapist directly?

 

I understand not wanting to track. It can be scary. But I'm sure rougher heuristics can work if, unlike me, you don't rationalise snacks, all the snacks.  I wish you luck.

[sarakingdom]

Oh my god, yes, how even does burnout work? We need a group.

[Alanna]

Following! Setting boundaries to take care of your well-being is a great goal.

 

Therapy-wise, are you paying privately or does your health insurance cover anything? I'd recommending finding a list of people that have appropriate training/certification (not sure what that is in the US) - in the UK at least, there are directories that just have certified people. You could look for a therapist that has a particular interest or experience with the issue you're dealing with and also look into different therapy modalities and see if there is something in particular that you think would be a better match. That said, a lot of therapists integrate various techniques and your rapport with them will likely matter more. You may need to talk to a few people before you find a good match, too. 

[Stronkey Kong]

 

Burnout...

 

 

<sigh> Nothing lasts forever <shrugs>

 

I have no advice, but endless moral support.

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Compassionfatigue.org has some good resources on burnout recovery. I just got some burnout counseling this year. If your employer has ana employee assistance program it will likely help you get set up with counseling. 

[Scaly Freak]

13 hours ago, miss_marissa said:

- read this book about burnout that I already own a kindle copy of

 

I love this book! And it was very helpful for me because after reading it I felt that I understood stress better, how it works and what happens in my brain when I am stressed.

 

As for how to do therapy... I second the recommendation to look into employee assistance programs. They often have a mental health component where they pay for X number of sessions, and can help you find someone who specializes in specific fields or methods if you have preferences.

[Big_Show]

As a result of the pandemic there seems to be a lot more online options for therapy over Zoom calls and such.  Could be worth a look if you can't find a decent therapist near you?

[miss_marissa]

On 5/4/2021 at 11:41 PM, Harriet said:

I understand not wanting to track. It can be scary. But I'm sure rougher heuristics can work if, unlike me, you don't rationalise snacks, all the snacks.  I wish you luck.

Unfortunately I am also in the all the snacks arena.

 

On 5/4/2021 at 11:45 PM, sarakingdom said:

Oh my god, yes, how even does burnout work? We need a group.

hahah the last thing I need is more on my plate!

 

On 5/5/2021 at 2:33 AM, Alanna said:

Following! Setting boundaries to take care of your well-being is a great goal.

 

Therapy-wise, are you paying privately or does your health insurance cover anything? I'd recommending finding a list of people that have appropriate training/certification (not sure what that is in the US) - in the UK at least, there are directories that just have certified people. You could look for a therapist that has a particular interest or experience with the issue you're dealing with and also look into different therapy modalities and see if there is something in particular that you think would be a better match. That said, a lot of therapists integrate various techniques and your rapport with them will likely matter more. You may need to talk to a few people before you find a good match, too. 

ooo thanks!

 

On 5/5/2021 at 2:36 AM, Stronkey Kong said:

 

Burnout...

 

 

<sigh> Nothing lasts forever <shrugs>

 

I have no advice, but endless moral support.

 

Thanks!

 

On 5/5/2021 at 7:04 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Compassionfatigue.org has some good resources on burnout recovery. I just got some burnout counseling this year. If your employer has ana employee assistance program it will likely help you get set up with counseling. 

Thank you for the resource I will check it out. 

 

On 5/5/2021 at 12:05 PM, Scaly Freak said:

 

I love this book! And it was very helpful for me because after reading it I felt that I understood stress better, how it works and what happens in my brain when I am stressed.

 

As for how to do therapy... I second the recommendation to look into employee assistance programs. They often have a mental health component where they pay for X number of sessions, and can help you find someone who specializes in specific fields or methods if you have preferences.

Great to have an endorsement!

 

 

My company does offer EAP, so I will start there to attempt to find a therapist. Thanks for the suggestions and tips everyone!

 

Original Post updated w/ more details + tracking which took me way too long to write

[Grizzy]

Burnout is a bear. I have commiseration but not a lot of advice! I'm still burnt out 2 months into attempted recovery.

[Harriet]

6 hours ago, miss_marissa said:

Unfortunately I am also in the all the snacks arena.

I really want this palms and thumbs rough counting thing to work out for you because I'd like to think we don't have to count for ever. Let us know how it goes

What body part size of snacks are you allowed? I suppose it depends on the snack density. Black hole snacks like chocolate must be infinitely small, while popcorn can be expansive, like outer space.

[Scaly Freak]

6 hours ago, Harriet said:

What body part size of snacks are you allowed? I suppose it depends on the snack density. Black hole snacks like chocolate must be infinitely small, while popcorn can be expansive, like outer space.

 

 

We have a dilemma.

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

@Harriet

 

This is where the picture is from: https://celebratingsweets.com/dark-chocolate-sea-salt-popcorn/

[Harriet]

21 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

 

We have a dilemma.

 

 

 

Well the average density between infinite and nothingness should be equal to about half of the total range. Which means average. The pigeon is an average sized bird. We should eat a pigeon sized amount of this food.

 

[Scaly Freak]

2 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Well the average density between infinite and nothingness should be equal to about half of the total range. Which means average. The pigeon is an average sized bird. We should eat a pigeon sized amount of this food.

 

I feel like there is a Monty Python joke about what specific kind of bird we are talking about, that could apply here... 😛 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

31 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

I feel like there is a Monty Python joke about what specific kind of bird we are talking about, that could apply here... 😛 

A pigeon sized bird could not carry an eagle sized clump of popcorn amiright?

Am I right?

[Alanna]

On 5/7/2021 at 4:44 PM, Harriet said:

 

Well the average density between infinite and nothingness should be equal to about half of the total range. Which means average. The pigeon is an average sized bird. We should eat a pigeon sized amount of this food.

 

 

Good news - half of infinity is still infinity, so clearly for your chocolate snacks you just need to put the chocolate on something that you're allowed an infinite amount of 

 

Chocolate-covered broccoli, anyone?

 

[Scaly Freak]

25 minutes ago, Alanna said:

Chocolate-covered broccoli, anyone?

 

 

[Stronkey Kong]

On 5/7/2021 at 11:44 AM, Harriet said:

 

Well the average density between infinite and nothingness should be equal to about half of the total range. Which means average. The pigeon is an average sized bird. We should eat a pigeon sized amount of this food.

 

 

 

I've got good and bad news...

 

Infinitely small is not nothingness it is 1 / infinity

And assuming expansiveness is infinity

 

The average here would be: (inf + 1/inf) / 2 =  1/2 * inf + 1 / (2 * inf)

 

Now, though 1 / ( 2 * inf) is exceedingly (in fact doubly infinitesimally) small it is still positive.

 

And, even though we've divided infinity in half, it is still an infinite amount... just half as infinite are regular sized infinity.

 

Thus...

 

A PIGEON WILL NOT SUFFICE!

 

We must consume an infinite amount of this chocolate, sea salt popcorn... that's the good news.

 

The bad news is we're getting fat.

[Scaly Freak]

12 minutes ago, Stronkey Kong said:

 

A PIGEON WILL NOT SUFFICE!

 

We must consume an infinite amount of this chocolate, sea salt popcorn... that's the good news.

 

The bad news is we're getting fat.

 

Only if we eat the entire infinite amount at once. If we can manage reasonable portion control, we should still be fine. 

[sarakingdom]

On 5/7/2021 at 4:15 AM, Harriet said:

Black hole snacks like chocolate must be infinitely small

 

If it helps, the less sugar in the chocolate, the easier it is to regulate intake. Sugar is a bit addictive.

 

1 hour ago, Stronkey Kong said:

We must consume an infinite amount of this chocolate, sea salt popcorn... that's the good news.

 

The bad news is we're getting fat.

 

1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

Only if we eat the entire infinite amount at once. If we can manage reasonable portion control, we should still be fine. 

 

However, that means we must live an infinitely long time.

[Harriet]

7 hours ago, Stronkey Kong said:

 

 

I've got good and bad news...

 

Infinitely small is not nothingness it is 1 / infinity

And assuming expansiveness is infinity

 

The average here would be: (inf + 1/inf) / 2 =  1/2 * inf + 1 / (2 * inf)

 

Now, though 1 / ( 2 * inf) is exceedingly (in fact doubly infinitesimally) small it is still positive.

 

And, even though we've divided infinity in half, it is still an infinite amount... just half as infinite are regular sized infinity.

 

Thus...

 

A PIGEON WILL NOT SUFFICE!

 

We must consume an infinite amount of this chocolate, sea salt popcorn... that's the good news.

 

The bad news is we're getting fat.

 

What? Why would we get fat if we eat the correct amount? No, the correct amount by definition is the amount that keeps us at the correct weight. I accept the rest of your calculations, however.

 

7 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Only if we eat the entire infinite amount at once. If we can manage reasonable portion control, we should still be fine. 

 

The right popcorn at the right time, in the right amount.

 

6 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

However, that means we must live an infinitely long time.

 

Immortality, popcorn, and the right weight forever.

Well that's sorted, then.

[Alanna]

On 5/5/2021 at 4:21 AM, miss_marissa said:

The precision nutrition method says that puts me at ~1700 cals/day which seems reasonable. They also translate this to the following quantities daily: 5 palms of protein, 4-6 fists of veggies, 4 cupped handfuls of carbs, 4 thumbs of fats.

 

That's really cool that they translate your calories and macros to serving sizes. How has this method been working for you? 

[miss_marissa]

4 hours ago, Alanna said:

 

That's really cool that they translate your calories and macros to serving sizes. How has this method been working for you? 

Thank you for checking in!!!!

In short, it hasn't. lol I don't think that is the fault of the system though, I just think my desire to eat what I want to eat is overwhelming my desire to lose like 8 lbs.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think it could work, but I don't think I have the bandwidth and motivation to make it work at this time. Therefore I think I'm dropping this goal (which is why I've been neglecting checking in on my challenge.... funny how that works).

 

1) I haven't really done anything tangible to get to the root of my burnout yet, but I've done a bad job of taking PTO this week, but trying to today and tomorrow actually take PTO and not turn my computer on! Looking forward to just hanging out at home watching DuckTales.

2) Goal dropped

3) I have done 3 gym workouts and 1 hike each week except last weekend it was raining all day Sunday so I didn't get out for a hike when I planned, but I did go for a walk around the neighborhood instead (and got sunburnt -_-) This week I'm at 2 gym workouts so far, and the gym is closed the rest of the week for the holiday, so I'm going to sub the 3rd with an at home workout.

4) I haven't done any landscaping, but I did start removing the gutter covers and cleaning the gutters which has been on the project to do list for a long time!

 

Also, I am getting wrecked by seasonal allergies. Consistently for the past month, this is awful, how do people live like this.

[Big_Show]

On 5/27/2021 at 2:44 PM, miss_marissa said:

Looking forward to just hanging out at home watching DuckTales.

 

Is that show any good then?  I've only watched the pilot and then didn't get round to watching any more yet.

 

On 5/27/2021 at 2:44 PM, miss_marissa said:

Also, I am getting wrecked by seasonal allergies. Consistently for the past month, this is awful, how do people live like this.

 

I know what you mean, I finally got my GP to switch me back on to fexofenadine instead of cetirizine and it's the first time in years I haven't been proeprly debilitated by all the pollen spewing out into the world...