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Bean Sidhe Vs Chaos - Too many forks and not enough spoons


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Can you take a vacation/sick day and just not tell anyone? 

 

You don't sound whiny. You sound like someone who's having a hard time because people suck. ❤️ 

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Level 69 Battle Kitten

Profile photo is ancient but I'm too lazy to change it. 

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Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie

C'est dit, c'est ainsi

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Level 69 Battle Kitten

Profile photo is ancient but I'm too lazy to change it. 

Battle Log | Current Challenge

MyFitnessPal | Fitbit | Duolingo

                                                                                                                                                                 Ici je vis la vie que j'ai choisie

Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie

C'est dit, c'est ainsi

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On 5/28/2021 at 4:38 PM, fleaball said:

Can you take a vacation/sick day and just not tell anyone? 

 

You don't sound whiny. You sound like someone who's having a hard time because people suck. ❤️ 

I wish. I think they would all find me.

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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OKay, so Last week has done.  We got through the week of crazy with eye drs, dentists and what not. Eldest Agent Graduated and while that went as well as can be, I feel like I had so much to worry about for my mom since she came, I didn't get to enjoy it.  I am SUPER proud and he did great. I just kept having to worry Mom would fall or bitch about pain while we took pictures. As it was, she spent the entire next day telling me it was my fault she gained 3 lbs because she ate at 7 pm because normally she doesn't eat after 2 (Shes not fasting, she is just not eating again).  And how can people eat that late? (Dude, there are days my dinner is at 9, so deal).

In other news, Youngest Agent got braces on Thurs. Shes been miserable, and then Sat, a band popped off the tooth that is WAY behind the others. So now she is freaked out that something is wrong. I am calling the dentist when they open today to see what to do, but she also has her first covid shot, so again, great day for Youngest Agent. She has been sleeping with me shes hurting so bad. Last night was the first night she didn't, so I hope shes sleeping okay.

Also finally spent a GC to a nursery/florist we got from when my Dad died. I spent it all on flowers for my mom's house, but I wasn't planning on going over yesterday when I bought them, so I have boxes and boxes of plants.

Our garden is in, that's a bit of a relief. Some is going to moms since I ran out of room. Not much, but it means I have to go over to care for it. Also got asked to help with school garden since garden club teacher isn't going to be able to do it and due to covid there was no garden club.. (She lives out of town, and they took keys over the summer for something so she can't even get in the building to wash hands after).

 

I restarted the challenge yesterday. Hoping I can at least do this. Total pts a day is 22, and its more a "DO SOMETHING" challenge, which I hate. I know I can do more, but I am running on empty.

Okay, work hours change today for summer, I need to be in 30 minutes early, so I need to run.

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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You are hanging in there, and that is a successful challenge. The ones where you keep turning up and keep going are wins.

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I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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On 6/1/2021 at 6:05 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

Total pts a day is 22, and its more a "DO SOMETHING" challenge, which I hate. I know I can do more, but I am running on empty.

 

Also, please don't hate the "do something" challenge. In a perfect world, we could all do more. In an imperfect world, we have to make tradeoffs about where our time and energy goes. We get injured, pandemics happen, crazy things make demands on our available time and energy. Running on empty is a valid reason to not do more. Taking care of yourself doesn't always mean doing more, it often means doing less. It's leaving enough in the tank to come back tomorrow, the strategic retreat to fight another battle, taking it easier when you're playing injured to help recovery, choosing finishing the marathon over burning out on the sprint.

 

The "do something" challenge is a sign that you haven't given up, and are adapting to keep going for the long haul.

 

On 6/1/2021 at 6:05 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

Also got asked to help with school garden since garden club teacher isn't going to be able to do it and due to covid there was no garden club..

 

Would this be a welcome outdoor respite from your other jobs, or just another responsibility on the list?

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I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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Sorry I disappeared. I honestly just have hit a wall, and it hurts. I do appreciate people checking in and posting support. I come and read them, but lately, logging into NF has been too much work, which is stupid, and well, trolls are loose and that is a bad bad thing.

IndolentBountifulHuman-size_restricted.g

 

Anyway, thank you all for your support of me. I dp really really appreciate it.

 

 

So new challenge if anyone wants to see it
 

 

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Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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On 6/5/2021 at 9:33 PM, sarakingdom said:

You are hanging in there, and that is a successful challenge. The ones where you keep turning up and keep going are wins.

 

This is what I keep hoping is that I will get back to where i was doing better and then I will actually see progress. Maybe.. But by going away, by giving up, I there is no chance of winning.

 

On 6/7/2021 at 8:04 AM, Chesire said:

you got this, Bean! 

 

Thank you

On 6/7/2021 at 9:08 AM, sarakingdom said:

 

Also, please don't hate the "do something" challenge. In a perfect world, we could all do more. In an imperfect world, we have to make tradeoffs about where our time and energy goes. We get injured, pandemics happen, crazy things make demands on our available time and energy. Running on empty is a valid reason to not do more. Taking care of yourself doesn't always mean doing more, it often means doing less. It's leaving enough in the tank to come back tomorrow, the strategic retreat to fight another battle, taking it easier when you're playing injured to help recovery, choosing finishing the marathon over burning out on the sprint.

 

And in a logical way, I get this. But the do something challenges just make me feel more.... off.... useless.... out of balance.... I am not sure how to explain it besides failing. Where if I say "I Need to do X" it feels like it might lead to progress. Part of it is I have never been good with the "Hey, I am hurt, lets slow down" because I was never allowed to as a kid. I went to school so many times with bronchitis, it was normal. Feel like shit, running a fever, go do everything you would on a normal day anyway. Even now, if I  go down, it means it is bad. I am trying to rest as I can, but it seems like the more I try to "rest" the worse things get, which just makes it hard to try and rest.

 

On 6/7/2021 at 9:08 AM, sarakingdom said:

The "do something" challenge is a sign that you haven't given up, and are adapting to keep going for the long haul.

 

I am trying to do just move anywhere but backwards at this point.

 

On 6/7/2021 at 9:08 AM, sarakingdom said:

 

Would this be a welcome outdoor respite from your other jobs, or just another responsibility on the list?

Mostly, the school garden (I haven't had a student there in 3 years) is more another responsibility, but there is no one else, teacher lives an hour away, I am not going to make her drive in to town 3 days a week or more when I live 5 WALKING Minutes away. This is one of those times I feel horribly selfish and rude if I don't just say I will do it and walk up there 3 times a week to spend the 20 minutes watering instead of making her drive in. Plus I walk within 50 feet of at least once a day in the morning walk, and the afternoon ones. But it is also a responsibility for someone who APPRECIATES it. She is so grateful and a friend.  And sometimes it is nice to hear a Thank You that is genuine and that does not have another meaning behind it.

Current Challenge ---> Bean Si Vs Chaos No energy for a title

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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