Hangrybear's journey from chonk to stronk #4

[Hangrybear]

Hello everyone!

 

These challenges have been phenomenal and I'm very happy to be able to participate.

 

Main Events since challenge #1

The first challenge was a little bit of a false start and I've had several binge-eating episodes and emotional turmoil. The warm welcome and positive feedback of this awesome community made me push through though.

I decided to find help in online forums and support groups for my eating disorder and am happy to report to be binge-free since the begin of challenge #2 which is now 11 weeks ago. 77 days no bingeing made me drop 7kg and has lead to the best physical shape of my life. Been struggling to meet all the goals in challenge #3 as low emotional states held me back from doing the inconvenient work, such as stretching and preparing properly for my long distance hike coming up.

 

Current struggles

Mentally, I've been dealing with the isolation of having moved to a new city at the start of the lockdown, renting an expensive 2 person apartment to have the gf break up on the first day of moving in and thus have occasional depressive episodes where I find it really difficult to speak to anyone around me. Recently, it's been helping to talk to people at the gym and go bouldering with friends and if the sport facilities remain open, life will be better.

 

Big goals

• Have a 53km hike coming up this Saturday, for which I've trained 12 weeks and walked about 300km. The last 2 times my legs walked above 30km, I suffered overuse injuries, so this will be an interesting hike, especially considering I probably have lyme disease and will likely get prescribed antibiotics this week.
• Saving money and trying to be responsible (cut down on those 25€ food deliveries) for a 20hour tattoo appointment.
  I'll be getting my entire quad tattooed with a dark souls motif by a dream artist (Praise the Sun!).
• Want to drop another 2kg and get to 15% bodyfat and maintain there.
• Want to break the weighted-chin up record in my gym, which is bodyweight + 70kg (154 lbs) of added weight
• Tired of the conventional gym, machines and pumping. Will transition to more acrobatics, skill-based movement, bouldering and maybe circus/silks after dropping more weight. Currently still a bit heavy for those exercises.

 

Challenge 4 tracking:

Physical:

• 2x stretching per week 
• 2x skill based mobility work per week
• 2x core exercise per week
• 2hr+ standing desk on workdays
• burn at least 500kcal with low-impact movement 6x a week

Mindset:

• 1x daily talk to friend or family, ideally in person.
• try making more eye contact, I've been avoiding it my entire life

Nutrition:

• 1x daily anti-inflammation smoothie
• avoid binge-eating at all costs, this is the prime objective
• no milk products as they have been proven to be terrible for my skin genetics
• no beer as it upsets my stomach and affects mood negatively. Dry wine , or clear liquor is fine.

 

Tracking of the last and current challenge in spoilers.

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Hangrybear]

Was sore and tired all day but forced myself out the door. Once the first steps are taken it's easier to move.  having very weird bumps on my skin making me think Lyme disease for which I am getting my blood taken this morning. 

 

Training Sunday:
80min walk
30min hiking prehab
15min core
30min biking outdoor
125min gym (shoulder, back, mobility)
=4hr40min

[Harriet]

It's great that you're able to chat to people at the gym and meet friends for bouldering. Anyway, happy challenging!

[Hangrybear]

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

It's great that you're able to chat to people at the gym and meet friends for bouldering. Anyway, happy challenging!

Thank you for your lovely support.

 

Yeah, switched gyms specifically for the community-aspect.

It's one room, a large industrial hall with dust and sweat and iron and lots of good athletes, really inspiring environment.

 

Had my blood taken today but the dr. said she doesn't believe it's lyme. Unfortunately all dermatologists are fully booked until september, 

so I hope the regular doc is able to figure it out, first time I've had solid anxiety in a good while. 

 

Today was actually quite tiring, I usually don't train at 100% but did so during a personal training leg session.

Eating maintenance and lots of carbs today to give the body proper fuel to heal itself. 

 

Training Monday:
20min walk
30min hiking prehab
15min core
100min biking outdoor
15min Mobility
60min Gym (HIIT Legs)
=4hr

[SkindianaBones]

Just wanted to drop in and say that I'm subbed. I am taking some time for myself tonight as I worked a bit late and want to be fresh in the AM, when I can take some coffee time and read your posts.

 

 

 

Best of luck mate!

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

That sounds like a good gym. Congratulations on finding it!

 

Also, following.

[Hangrybear]

16 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

That sounds like a good gym. Congratulations on finding it!

Yay! Thanks.

 

Here's some pics 

 

[SkindianaBones]

On 6/13/2021 at 4:53 PM, Hangrybear said:

Physical:

• 2x stretching per week 
• 3x skill based mobility work per week
• 3x core exercise per week
• 2hr+ standing desk on workdays
• burn at least 500kcal with low-impact movement 6x a week

 

 

Through reading this I'm glad to hear that this community has been helpful in pushing you forward. Despite you being uhhh... way bigger than me it looks like we have pretty similar goals for our challenges! Standing desk team! Would you mind sharing what you are doing for your skill based mobility, stretching, core, and low impact movement stuff? It would likely be very useful for me to see what others are working on.

 

5 hours ago, Hangrybear said:

Yay! Thanks.

 

Here's some pics 

 

 

This place is badass!!! Maybe if I'm ever in Germany. Might have to recommend to a friend in country atm.

[Big_Show]

Good luck for the big hike mate!

[Hangrybear]

Will answer and write more after the 50k hike tomorrow. 

 

Training Tuesday:
70min biking outdoor

Training Wednesday:
70min Gym (Chest Back)
50min hiking prehab
20min Foam Rolling
70min biking outdoor
=3hr30min

 

Training Thursday:
70min Gym (Shoulder Arms Mobility)
40min hiking prehab
50min biking outdoor
=2hr40min

 

Training Friday:

60min Gym (Pull ups)
60min biking outdoor
60min Walk
60min Stretching
=4hr

 

Pullups Friday
98kg x2
(98kg + 23kg) = 121kg x 2
(98kg + 35kg) = 133kg x 2
(98kg + 46kg) = 144kg x 2
(98kg + 57kg) = 155kg x 1 [PR]
(98kg + 62.5kg) = 160.5kg x 1 [PR]
(98kg + 48kg chains) = 110kg-146kg x 3
(98kg + 40kg chains) = 108kg-138kg x 5
(98kg + 32kg chains) = 106kg-130kg x 6
(98kg + 24kg chains) = 104kg-122kg x 10

[SkindianaBones]

Enjoy your hike!

[Hangrybear]

On 6/16/2021 at 12:31 AM, SkindianaBones said:

it looks like we have pretty similar goals for our challenges! Standing desk team! Would you mind sharing what you are doing for your skill based mobility, stretching, core, and low impact movement stuff? It would likely be very useful for me to see what others are working on.

 

it's all a relatively new set of skills I'm trying to develop, so nothing is set in stone yet. Definitely should do more research, most of these are picked at random - so there probably aren't many take-aways for anyone else, which is also why I'm not writing more. every individual has to find the correct exercises suiting their specific issues. 

 

 skill-based mobility: 
Single-leg romanian deadlifts (balancing, core, hamstrings)

Very deep paused static air squats (hold at bottom for 30-60s at lowest possible ROM)

Progression towards pistol squats

underhand grip dead hangs / scapula pull-ups

 

 stretching: 

90 degree hip stretch

the pancake

butterfly stretch

hamstring stuff

quad stuff

biceps stuff 

shoulder stuff

 

 core: 

superman

single leg hip bridge

raised head flutter kicks

side planks

banded psoas march

kneeling T-spine rotation 

 

[Hangrybear]

Threw this in deepl translator from german and only corrected mistakes once, forgive me if some grammar sounds goofy. 

 

 50k hike report

The day began at 6:45, at which point I directly inhaled a coffee to be able to visit the toilet before it went into the forest. Spent 20 minutes to tape several toes preventatively and tape problem areas with gel pads. Thin toe socks and over that a pair of thin, breathable merino socks. Jumped on the train at 7:30, rode 60km, inhaled a Monster, visited the customer restroom at the local market and then checked in.

 

Start:
There were 5 groups of 45 people each, we started in the last one at 9:00 .
We started right at the front and didn't see anyone from the group for the rest of the hike. A friend started in front of us and we wanted to catch up with her. The pace was 6.2km/h and it took us 3 hours to find her. We collectively all missed the first aid station and at 31 degrees C already sweated out our water reserves. Then made a quick push to the next Aid Station. 13:00 24km. I had to lie down on the ground to calm the heart. After about 10min the circulatory system relaxed, so I was able to have a bit of breakfast and treated myself with a pre workout Booster.
Noticed here that the right foot was swollen and throbbing brutally and realized the rest of the day was going to be less fun.
The shoe was likely laced too tight, I loosened it but the damage was already done.
From here on, however, there were numerous aid stations and we stopped at each to drink water briefly in the shade.
14:00 - surely already consumed 5 liters without peeing and it was time to open the race milk:

• 1.5l oat and pea milk
• 3 aspirin
• 10g sodium
• 2.5g potassium
• 1g magnesium
• 400mg caffeine
• Cocoa

The race milk then got me through the next few hours without a problem, also stopping at every stream to fill my baseball cap full of water. At 40km around 16:30  we passed the front yard of our friend, there was water and beer provided, we gathered our 4 people, the fifth person had already given up. We decided there, however, against alcohol, wanted to wait until the finish line  and overtake as many people as possible during the last 11km. During the last 2 hours we then jogged 20% of the time and passed around 30 more people, guessing a total of 80 from the groups that started before us. It was of course not a competitive race, there were no placings and no tracking, but it definitely made for a very exciting last hour that left us no time to confront our pain.
At the finish line at  18:30 and 51km then one-shot a can of beer but half of it landed in my face and beard, quite embarrassing and filmed by several strangers.
After that stretched for 15min (hell), ate protein bars, bifi and beef jerky and drank wine and beer the rest of the evening and night.

 

Stats:

• 6500-7000kcal burned,
• only 4500kcal consumed and of that over half alcohol and accordingly I feel today of course (bad lol)
• Length: 51km
• Pace without breaks: 6.1 km/h
• Effectively moved: 8hr21min
• Total time: 9hr30min
• Drank: 12 liters
• Peed out: 2l 
• 150/220 people finished

After-effects:

• Feet swollen, red, throbbing, climbing stairs is hard, generally just limping.
• No blisters, no ligament problems, no injuries
• 2cm circumference lost 1kg lost (glycogen depleted, will come back)

[Hangrybear]

Training Saturday:

100min Walk

30min biking outdoor

500min Hike
=10hr30min

 

Training Sunday:

Rest

 

Training Monday:

30min Walk

30min biking outdoor

10min core

20min stretching

90min Gym (chest arms shoulder back)

=3hr

 

Training Tuesday:

30min biking outdoor

70min Gym (shoulder glutes back)

15min skill-based mobility

15min stretching

15min core

=2hr25min

[Hangrybear]

the hike is done and my brain is not happy without new goals:

 

new main goals are:

• diet to 15.0% bodyfat
• Maintenance at 94-95kg
• break the weighted chin-up record in my gym (bodyweight+ 70kg plates)
• 1 clean Pistol Squat
• 1 static ring Muscle Up 
• 1 static bar Muscle Up 

new training regimen:

• Powerbuilding 4-5x /week
• 1x bouldering / 10 days
• 2x skill-based mobility / week
• 2x core / week
• 2x stretching / week
• >500kcal burnt through low-impact exercise 6x / week

 

[Harriet]

The hike sounds hardcore. New goals look good. Good luck with them 🙂

[Big_Show]

Properly epic trek mate, and in brutal heat! Nice one!

[Scaly Freak]

14 hours ago, Hangrybear said:

• Drank: 12 liters
• Peed out: 2l 

 

I'm afraid to ask how you measured this output, but the dark side of my brain is refusing to let go of this riddle.

[Hangrybear]

15 hours ago, Harriet said:

The hike sounds hardcore. New goals look good. Good luck with them 🙂

 

I was definitely worried of injury but the training and preparation paid off.

I don't even enjoy hiking that much, but it was a great goal to have during the prolonged lockdown.

Thank you!

 

14 hours ago, Big_Show said:

Properly epic trek mate, and in brutal heat! Nice one!

 

It was a bit sweaty but fortunately the 50-strength sun cream applied 3 times did the trick to save my gothic pale vampire skin from bursting into flames.

 

9 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

I'm afraid to ask how you measured this output, but the dark side of my brain is refusing to let go of this riddle.

 

Recently had to track my exact input and output for the urologist and my estimates were always pretty close to whatever the cup showed, so you could say I have a trained eye!

[Hangrybear]

Next challenge I might have to address my exercise addiction.

I've managed to beat binge-eating disorder but intrusive thoughts about over-consuming food happen every day that I don't work out.

 

Working out as my first priority serves several purposes and

has many upsides:

• Fills my loose skin, that would otherwise look horrid,  with muscle mass
• Helps reduce my chronic back-pain
• Main source of serotonin and dopamine
• No hunger during exercise
• New gym is an avenue for socializing
• Burns calories both actively and passively
• Increases self-confidence
• Opens up the world, the fitter I become, the more possibilities I have for adventures
• Decreases my cravings and urges for food, since it makes my day feel productive, leading to less emotional eating.

but also some downsides:

• Spikes my cortisol, leading to worse sleep quality
• Constant state of muscle breakdown and recovery lead to lower energy
• I am dependent on exercise calories to eat in a deficit, so off-days are very difficult to handle
• Very time-intensive and low-energy post-workout, leading to neglecting socializing, studying, other hobbies.

Most days I barely have time to chat with my friends or look through the forum because I just work, then exercise, then cook, and suddenly it's midnight.

I am developing incredibly well physically and am also becoming emotionally more stable through beating my disorder, but this comes at the cost of my

professional and social development.

 

I am currently enrolled in an university course on full-stack web development and would like to make progress several times per week,

but typically just get restless/hungry/dissatisfied with sitting and leave the house to work out instead.

 

 

 

[Hangrybear]

I fundamentally have a problem with balance, my entire life has been leading deep into one or two specific paths, becoming very proficient at them and neglecting the others.

• During school I played World of Warcraft so much that I earned money with it but only attended classes 2/3 days a week.
• During my bachelor's degree, I partied, gamed  and drank so much that I made lots of friends and great memories but  it took 8 semesters to finish.
• During the end of my masters I studied 14 hours every day to ace my exams and thesis but got fat as shit and burnout.
• During the first year of my job, I worked a lot of overtime to perform well and learned a lot but sacrificed my athletic performance.
• Now during the second year of my job, I am in my athletic prime but am neglecting learning more coding skills as frequently as I'd like.

Let's try to phrase the current situation in terms of an RPG:

Hangrybear gets to level up soon and receives 4 stat points.

He puts 2 into strength, and 2 into Dexterity.

Strength ++

Constitution

Dexterity ++

Intelligence

Charisma

Wisdom

 

He now feels very accomplished in the physical realm but is unhappy with his stagnating personality, insight and knowledge.

For his entire life, Hangrybear has alloted his 4 points into only one or two main stats, all of them have come up over time but

many get neglected for long periods of time before becoming prioritized themselves.

Am I destined to be a specialist who puts all ability points in only 2 of 6 stats, rotating between which ones are prioritized after longer periods of dissatisfaction?

How do you mentally accept sacrificing performance in your current main priorities in order to have a more balanced set of skills if you have a competitive mindset?

[Harriet]

4 hours ago, Hangrybear said:

Next challenge I might have to address my exercise addiction.

I've managed to beat binge-eating disorder but intrusive thoughts about over-consuming food happen every day that I don't work out.

 

It's tricky, for sure. Before lockdown I used exercise to cope, and had little time or energy for anything else. (It's not as though I had energy for anything else before I did exercise, though). Trying to manage my health is pretty much my job, unfortunately.

 

3 hours ago, Hangrybear said:

Am I destined to be a specialist who puts all ability points in only 2 of 6 stats, rotating between which ones are prioritized after longer periods of dissatisfaction?

How do you mentally accept sacrificing performance in your current main priorities in order to have a more balanced set of skills if you have a competitive mindset?

Hmmm. I guess they can't all be main priorities. Maybe you have to make some tough decisions about what you're going to do to a 'good enough' level, and what you're going to focus hard on. Or maybe there's some magical wisdom we need to find so we can balance everything perfectly.

[Deckard Gainz]

4 hours ago, Hangrybear said:

Am I destined to be a specialist who puts all ability points in only 2 of 6 stats, rotating between which ones are prioritized after longer periods of dissatisfaction?

How do you mentally accept sacrificing performance in your current main priorities in order to have a more balanced set of skills if you have a competitive mindset?

 

To be fair, this is exactly how I play RPGs. I adapt to the situation and increase stats accordingly, occasionally overcompensating some places and allowing others to languish. It's a very human way of dealing with things. We're an adaptable species, and we're often prone to overcorrection. If your main complaint with yourself is that you're waiting and allowing yourself to be dissatisfied for too long, then it sounds like your course of action should be to evaluate your wants and desires, and make necessary adjustments, on a more frequent basis. Even if you are overcorrecting, more frequent calibrations should overall lead the trend lines towards the directions you want with less meandering. One thing this requires is confidence: confidence that you know what you want and need and that you know the steps to take, or have the means to find out, in order to achieve those things. In my experience, a lack of confidence has been the primary obstacle to assessing a situation and making the necessary changes to fix or improve that situation. You can't let opportunity costs get in the way of that. The grass will always be greener over in the "higher INT" camp, or wherever you're not currently.

[Hangrybear]

5 hours ago, Deckard Gainz said:

it sounds like your course of action should be to evaluate your wants and desires, and make necessary adjustments, on a more frequent basis. Even if you are overcorrecting, more frequent calibrations should overall lead the trend lines towards the directions you want with less meandering.

This is quite helpful and I'll put it to action immediately: in the next 2 weeks I will try to study daily and sacrifice socializing, due to having an infectious parasite, I have to isolate anyways. If that isn't enough time saved, then I'll cut down exercise from 3 to 2 hours. 

 

The rest day today almost ruined me. Restless and insatiably hungry all day, I had consumed my allotted calories before dinner. Started drinking wine and considered bingeing but then took 2 scoops of preworkout, biked for an hour, and trained for two. Burned 1200kcal, decided against KFC and had room for a healthy dinner. 

From now on, the only rest days are those that I actively desire, none will be planned, I just can't deal with them right now. 88 days binge free but the streak almost ended today. 

 

P. S. Bonus points for studying 7 hours today Shifting points towards WISDOM. 

[Hangrybear]

Felt horrible all day, took half the day off work, didn't study and the only exercise was a 90min walk in the rain to buy binge food. 

Ended up staying within an acceptable kcal-range of my maintenance, which is 20%. This is the limit I set for myself on bad days, to account for emotional eating without calling it a binge. 

 

Did end up eating some bread with butter, tortellini with bechamel and a kebab wrap with salad sour cream and chicken. It will likely make me feel even worse tomorrow, so I'll have to focus my energy on not restarting the self-destructive cycle that has ruined the last 10 years of my life and in consequence me to never once reaching my goal weight. 

 

All of the work of the last months could be gone in an instant if I lose track of my goals and go dark on forums and to my friends, as has happened many times before.