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Respawning... and Shame is my first Boss Battle!

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Hello fellow NF rebels!


I'm respawning after a three-year gap -- and a number of unsuccessful non-NF attempts to become a healthier, fitter me in the intervening time. I have learned a lot during the journey, but so far none of my efforts have 'stuck' in the form of permanent changes in lifestyle. Sadly, I am weaker at this point in my life than I have ever been before now -- and that is very, very discouraging!


So, as part of my respawning process, I have "taken a look at what didn't work last time" and realized that I consistently get hung up when dealing with two of the Academy's challenges:  anything to do with sharing and customizing my Batcave.  When I started digging into why these two missions are so consistently uncomfortable for me, I realized that they are actually symptoms of the same issue:  I am deeply ashamed of myself!


Because of my sense of shame, I want to hide my efforts to become healthier "just in case I fail again." I don't want to be accountable to the people in my life because I don't want to face the doubts and questions, and I definitely don't want to deal with the awkward conversations that happen after I "fall off the fitness wagon"!  Similarly, I don't want to make changes in my environment, because they signal to the other people in my life that I'm "trying to get fit again" ...leading to the doubts, questions and discussions that I don't want to have.  


I know it's a self-defeating mindset -- but I'm still figuring out my plan to conquer it.  I need to defeat Shame in my  first Boss Battle -- or I'll never successfully reach any of the others!  


Wish me luck!! 🤞

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Welcome back!Great observations about yourself. I think a lot of people can feel that way. One thing that helps me is  reminding myself of the things I did do.It's so easy , especially for me with food, to focus on all the poor choices, but I try and remember the choices that I made that line up with my goals.That, and the fact that people on this forum are amazing. Having people cheer for you is  a great encouragment-though the trick  is you have to actually believe what they say.

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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