Heidi: the quiet strength of balance

[Heidi]

This challenge is all about cultivating the quiet strength of balance, and I can’t think of a better time to set that intention than at the new moon just before the Autumn Equinox. I’m focusing on the core elements that sustain me and bring me peace, security, and the quiet strength to be who I am in the world.

• Heal as I can, when I can.
  • Eating
  • Wellness Wednesdays
  • Sometimes the gym
• Do not give in to despair.
  • Writing (Dissertation is 12, 343 words as the challenge opens)
  • Classwork
  • Connections
• Allow no one to choose combat for me
  • Sleep, regularly but also often
  • Schedule as little as possible by the clock and calendar.
  • Meditation, including small bits of sitting throughout the day.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Here to be a connection. 

[Heidi]

2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Here to be a connection. 

Always grateful to have you along.

[Heidi]

Today is quiet, and I like that.

 

I’ve taken the trash out, gotten the other gallon of milk and read half of The Rise of Universities. The History of Higher Ed Prof and I sent some emails back and forth, and I ended up offering to be a TA for him if he ever needed one for a remote class. He’s looking into it. I took a nap. I might read more, but might just watch something and make tea. I have a tickle in the back of my throat and feel kind of low energy.  Glad i don’t have anything on the schedule for the next couple days.

 

[Scaly Freak]

 

A reminder that balance does not mean "steady" or "unchanging". Often, it means the exact opposite... to constantly adapt and adjust and to stay focused on the goal, not on what is happening here and now. And that reaching out to grab something for extra stability is a part of balance.

[Jessebel]

"Quiet strength of balance" is really poetic. Balance looks like something that is easy to achieve on the surface but is often one of the most challenging things to obtain. 

 

You've got this! Much luck to you.

 

[Heidi]

9 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

A reminder that balance does not mean "steady" or "unchanging". Often, it means the exact opposite... to constantly adapt and adjust and to stay focused on the goal, not on what is happening here and now. And that reaching out to grab something for extra stability is a part of balance.

So much reaching out as things shift, but I stay centered, or at least try to (and fall, and laugh, and get up again).  And to let go of my expectations of what I think it should be.

 

5 hours ago, Jessebel said:

"Quiet strength of balance" is really poetic. Balance looks like something that is easy to achieve on the surface but is often one of the most challenging things to obtain. 

 

You've got this! Much luck to you.

 

It's quite the challenge, actually. And also to let it be weird! This is the essence of Druiding, to me. To be in balance with and within myself.

 

Thanks for being here ❣️

[Heidi]

Yesterday, I finished The Rise of Universities and wrote notes about it.

 

This morning I read an article on campus architecture, especially in the South. Reader, I have thoughts about this. I dropped in on the class discussion boards and read a little, but was too tired to respond meaningfully.

 

I slept on schedule, but man what is up with the dreams? Last night I dreamed that I was eating French toast while putting together notes for a presentation about work I did compiling a documents reader as a companion to a book that I wrote.

 

Readers, I have not yet written this book, let alone the documents compilation.

 

I woke up really disappointed that I haven't written the book yet (it needs to be written) and looking forward to editing the documents compilation, and wow. I'm tired.

[Heidi]

Was thinking about the Southern university architecture, and naming and all that when I realized I hadn’t eaten anything yet today, and — worse — hadn’t eaten anything yesterday either other than a couple large glasses of milk and a cannoli brought from a friend who works at the Fresh Market bakery. I still don’t have much appetite, so I poured a bowl of cereal and ate it while I made a decent-enough post to the class discussion forum for the topic of the week. It’s another check mark, and I like the way @Scaly Freak put it: 

12 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

adapt and adjust and to stay focused on the goal

Yep, this is how we win. 

One small balanced step at a time makes a huge difference when pointed in the right direction.

[Scaly Freak]

So it looks like you'll be doing a Karate kid themed challenge.

 

[Heidi]

40 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

So it looks like you'll be doing a Karate kid themed challenge.

 

Who am I to argue?

When the student is ready, the Master appears.

 

[Heidi]

I'm feeling  blah and have a small touch of fever. I don't usually rewatch things, but I've been missing Battlestar Galactica on and off for a couple years now, so I launched the miniseries and wow, can it really be as good as I remember? Possibly better the second time?

 

Anyway, I'm knitting and I have no idea if it will become something or just be Yet Another Knitting Meditation. The end is irrelevant just now.

 

It's only 5:30, but I'm pretty sure I'm done for today.

 

[Heidi]

So I'm low-key not feeling well, and I can tell that I'm going to be feeling less well before I feel better.

 

The only thing I'm going to want is chicken soup, so even though I'm low energy and have no appetite, now is the time to cook if it's going to happen. I pulled a couple leeks, a potato, and a carrot from the farm bag and chopped them up for a pan with olive oil, garlic, oregano, and rosemary. I added a cup and a half or so chicken stock, just enough to cover, and I'm letting them simmer while a chicken breast thaws.  The potatoes are particularly nice this week, an early harvest Kennebec that is crisp and will keep well. I really like my head gardener. 

 

If I'm feeling pouty, I might add noodles once the chicken is added in and cooked.

 

I'm glad I did my homework earlier today.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I hope the not better is short and the better comes fast.

[Heidi]

20 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope the not better is short and the better comes fast.

Thank you.

 

I'm feeling better today: low energy and tired but not nearly as actually sick as yesterday. I had an afternoon meeting, and I'm knitting and watching Battlestar, and it's just a masterpiece.

 

So far today I've eaten yogurt, cereal, and a tossed salad with ginger dressing.

 

Academically, I've done some research for the next paper and that's about all I'm up for. 

 

Small steps, pointed in the right direction.

[Heidi]

Had a bowl of soup and fell asleep before 6 yesterday, slept until 2:30 and then again from 4-7. What's with those dreams?

 

I'm on the mend for sure. Rest and good food help.

 

Massage and then Communication Session this evening. Knitting and tea now.

 

[Ann of Owlshire]

Following along, your challenges always have a quiet strength I admire.

[Heidi]

It turns out that Battlestar Galactica, knitting, and a massage before a Communication Session are all extremely helpful for facing emotionally charged situations with equanimity. The session started off cranky but got better and ended smoothly.

 

Good job, me.

 

"Lesson Not Just Karate Only. Lesson For Whole Life! Whole Life Have A Balance, Everything Be Better." Mr. Miagi

 

[Heidi]

In keeping with the supportive balancing today, I ordered delivery of spaghetti and meatballs. Because some nights it's okay.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

In keeping with the supportive balancing today, I ordered delivery of spaghetti and meatballs. Because some nights it's okay.

FTFY

[Heidi]

8 hours ago, Ann of Owlshire said:

Following along, your challenges always have a quiet strength I admire.

Thank you, Ann.

This means a lot to me (and also makes me blush a bit, since I am always fumbling my way through). Glad to have you along.

 

16 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

FTFY

Honored and humbled.

Thank you, Friend.

[Heidi]

The dishwasher is humming.

The house has been tucked in for the day, as have I. 

 

Today was a good day.

[Heidi]

Goodnight, Nerds.

 

[Heidi]

Spending this morning remembering that Thursday needs to be renamed to post-WellnessWednesday and treated accordingly. 

 

The massage therapist found some real troubling knots and  overall the inflammation and tension is surprisingly increased. I'm glad I have her on my team. 

 

There's an emotional component to this as well as the underlying neurological condition, and poking around in the muscles releases toxins on all fronts. This requires a day of gentleness and hydration. Pushing ungracefully toward and through a task list will invite a rebellion in my body, most often in the form of a migraine with seizures.

 

I might make it to the gym today, or not.

I'd like to look at the charter for the College of Rhode Island.

 

There is milk.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Continued healing and peace.