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And maybe always has been?

 

Hello friends its been like...actual years. How goes it.

Knife to see you again.

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With the seasons changing and some of the crises of the last few years calming down a bit (literally covid-19 was like a 4 out of 10 of what’s been happening since I was last here,) I got the urge to work towards some goals!

 

A little over a month ago I was up at 3am and was like “I need to learn to juggle knives” and since I had bought some dulled knives for our Roomba (and they came in a large pack) I dug those out and started messing around. I was, predictably, terrible. I couldn’t even throw them from one hand to the other or flip the knife one time in my hand and reliably catch it.

 

No I don’t know how to juggle other things already.

Should I have looked up a youtube video on juggling?

 

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Anyway I’ve been screwing with that for about a month and sent a progress video to my friend and he was like “I expect to see a Loki cosplay in the future now that you have the skills” and this was on the same day I took a ‘what superhero are you’ uQuiz and got Loki (and a scathingly accurate mental health commentary? uQuiz you don’t need to go so hard.) I hadn’t thought about this character in like 6 years lol, but it keeps sliding into my orbit (especially since the new show came out, which I have Opinions on.) Since it fits all my goals for this challenge I’m going with a Loki theme.

 

 

Skill Goal: Get to 10 reps with juggling three knives

 

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I am currently solid with 3 reps in a row. I have ONE time done 7 in a row. I think it was a fluke, however I believe that with solid practice, I will be able to nail 10 reps in a row at least once, even as a fluke, in 5 weeks.

 

Method:

 

Daily juggling practice, even just for a few minutes. Preferably for about a half hour a day. For reasonableness, I’ll call this a pass at an average of 5 days/week.

 

Motivation (why I want it):

 

I’ve been getting seriously into circus arts lately and a variety of knife tricks is just one of many things I’ve wanted to do since childhood. My eventual year-long goal is to hit 100 reps, which might be a long shot, but I’m taking it in steps.

 

Fitness Goal: 360 Inward Dive Roll

 

fa63d886ee1a52c998570e2edb99c966114be46c

 

Ehhhhh sort of lol.

 

So the roll itself is actually a long term goal. It’s well outside of my current skill level.

 

Fitness Goal: 360 Inward Dive Roll Improve overhead strength so that I do not break my fragile little neck

 

Method:

 

This is a little more free-form than I usually like my goals, but I’m going to be working a variety of things. The Specific and Measurable part of the method is to do a full handstand workout each Monday. It’s a 30 minute routine that really works on the handstand strength, for holding duration and also HSPU work. The less specific and measurable part is when I’m messing around with my tumbling practice (Wednesday Thursday Friday) I’m going to squirrel around with some roll variations, getting my easy dive rolls dialed in, trying different ways to roll out of a handstand, ect. Not too much strength work, but movement exploration/making new neural pathways.

 

Motivation:

 

The 360 inward roll is one of the most advanced rolls in a list of rolls I want to know how to do, to throw into parkour stuff and tricking and just cool looking flows. I’m going to work my way through them piece by piece until I get to the “Final boss” lol.

This video shows a lot of the rolls I want to get locked in:

 

 

 

 

 

Life Goal: Mental Friggin Health

 

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Because we all know Loki is the poster child of a stable mental condition.

 

Interestingly enough, I have just started the therapy that Loki actually needs lol. With all the latest Loki hype on tumblr I’ve been seeing a lot of meta, and many by actual psychologists that say he has all the diagnostic criteria for Borderline personality disorder (not narcissism, frell you Michael Waldren?) And I just got officially diagnosed with BPD this week (*worlds most pathetic party sounds* yayyyy…….)

But while that sucks, I have been told that if someone takes therapy seriously and does the work, symptoms can be reduced to almost none in an average of 5 years.

I am nothing if not a hard worker. So.

 

Method:

 

It’s a two-parter.

 

1. I’m supposed to do the mindfulness thing. Back on the headspace app I go.

I need to restart this habit into something long-term and really focus on making it happen EVERY day.

2. Do all my therapy homework. It looks like this therapist is into that pretty often.

 

Motivation:

 

While I’ve always been hostile toward therapy, honestly I’m really ready to stop being everyone’s problem. So I’ll even try this. And any scientific endeavor is useless if you don’t commit to the experiment.

 

 

 

Alright guys,

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Juggling knives?!??!?! and LOKI?!?!?! count me in!

 

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3 minutes ago, Salinger said:

If you need to chat, or have any questions, im here ❤️ xx

 

Thanks! It's good to hear from someone who's going through/gone through similar things! 

In my case it kind of went in the opposite order-- each new psychiatrist was like "you might be bipolar" and i'm like whatever, are there meds for that? And then they either tried meds, which did nothing, or actually went over the diagnostic criteria more carefully and were like "nevermind, it actually doesn't fit." And that cycle happened like 7 times every time I moved to a new city. My newest psych tho was like "wait you have trauma history, has anyone talked about BPD?" and I was like 

whatthatmeans.gif

 

and turned out I hit ALL the criteria for that, soooo

here we are.

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8 minutes ago, RES said:

Juggling knives?!??!?! and LOKI?!?!?! count me in!

 

4 minutes ago, Jupiter said:

I'm with Res, Loki and juggling knives? Here for this. :) 

 

Shennanigans WILL ensuAHH hold on my cat is eating my cchickensss

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CHARACTER determines your DESTINY
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6 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

 

Thanks! It's good to hear from someone who's going through/gone through similar things! 

In my case it kind of went in the opposite order-- each new psychiatrist was like "you might be bipolar" and i'm like whatever, are there meds for that? And then they either tried meds, which did nothing, or actually went over the diagnostic criteria more carefully and were like "nevermind, it actually doesn't fit." And that cycle happened like 7 times every time I moved to a new city. My newest psych tho was like "wait you have trauma history, has anyone talked about BPD?" and I was like 

 

 

and turned out I hit ALL the criteria for that, soooo

here we are.

 

I was in hospital (psych ward) for a bit, in 2014...it was there that they discussed BPD with me...so i accepted that for years, and then saw on my doctor notes later on (2017) that they had me down as bipolar?!

 

I am on medication which helps, and I had a lot of therapy which (once I had finally got the right therapist) was transformative for me. 

 

I now run an art organisation exploring ill mental health! 

 

Its definitely a process, up and down as you can imagine, but the difference i see in myself is massive. xx

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3 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I was in hospital (psych ward) for a bit, in 2014...it was there that they discussed BPD with me...so i accepted that for years, and then saw on my doctor notes later on (2017) that they had me down as bipolar?!

 

That's wild that it was never mentioned to you! Doctors can be SO weird about things sometimes.

 

6 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I am on medication which helps, and I had a lot of therapy which (once I had finally got the right therapist) was transformative for me. 

 

I now run an art organisation exploring ill mental health! 

 

Its definitely a process, up and down as you can imagine, but the difference i see in myself is massive. xx

 

Wow that is so encouraging to hear! Also I'm intrigued by your art organization just cuz that sounds neat, what do you do?

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3 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

 

 

 

Wow that is so encouraging to hear! Also I'm intrigued by your art organization just cuz that sounds neat, what do you do?

 

Thanks!! :)

 

This is the org.... https://www.brokengreywires.co.uk/about

 

I am an artist, and also through Broken Grey Wires, I curate exhibitions and live gigs, and run workshops - all in response to mental illness, and recovery. xx

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3 minutes ago, Salinger said:

This is the org.... https://www.brokengreywires.co.uk/about

 

I am an artist, and also through Broken Grey Wires, I curate exhibitions and live gigs, and run workshops - all in response to mental illness, and recovery. xx

 

Very cool!!

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7 minutes ago, Jupiter said:

Awww, he's so cute. :) 

 

They have to make them cute so they survive LOL

He knows exactly where all my buttons are and we have many battles of both wits and will. 

He has drawn some of my most creative polylingual curses and yet I love him to bits haha. 

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Part of me says juggling knives, that is so cool, but the other part of me is worried about you cutting off fingers and saying , be careful! Anyway, all of me is glad to see you!

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7 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Part of me says juggling knives, that is so cool, but the other part of me is worried about you cutting off fingers and saying , be careful! Anyway, all of me is glad to see you!


good to see you too! Yay!

Don’t worry, the knives are dulled lol. I bought them for our roomba. 

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Idk if this actually counts as doing therapy homework 😂🤣😆 but my therapist mentioned a book that she wanted me to try a few techniques from (and she walked me through them) but for some reason I decided I need to acquire and read the entire book before our next session (which was only split up by four days this week)


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and anyway im halfway done with it and I have 36 hours to finish so that’s going to take up a lot if my spare time today 😂 

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Since I usually use zero week for planning,  I made up a pdf for my general workout structure:

 

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and set check-off-able reminders on my phone for mindfulness and juggling practice

 

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so i hope these will help me stay on track

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1 hour ago, Ann of Owlshire said:

Welcome back to NF! Juggling knives sounds epic!

 

It is SO much fun!! 

And honestly is building a lot of confidence and gets a ton of aggression out? Which I find odd because it made sense with like, my archery or when I dabbled in knife throwing (a future challenge will be dedicated to this) because you're actually being aggressive. But the juggling? It seems so strange, but the other day I was ready to put my fist through a wall over something and I was like "Ok, time to go juggle" and messing with the knives just totally released all the anger. 

 

I'm wondering if it's just because getting to the point of juggling them necessitates getting very comfortable with dagger work?  I haven't practiced any stunt fight techniques with the daggers but my roommate started one with me the other day when I was out juggling and I demolished him just because I had built up some muscle memory with manipulating the knives. 🤷‍♀️

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13 hours ago, Happienumber said:

I had bought some dulled knives for our Roomba

 

okay what now

 

HI! How great to see you! 

 

This is an amazing ambitious challenge and I can't wait to hear how it goes. I have done therapy for years (generalized anxiety disorder) and it can really be great! See if this helps: You're paying someone so they have to listen to you no matter what you decide to show up and talk about, and they can't leave or tell you to shut up.

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Just now, RogueLibrarian said:

okay what now

 

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5 minutes ago, RogueLibrarian said:

You're paying someone so they have to listen to you no matter what you decide to show up and talk about, and they can't leave or tell you to shut up.

 

HAHAH this DOES help lol. It's a captive audience! I can be as dramatic as I want.

 

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WORDS become ACTIONS
ACTIONS define your CHARACTER
CHARACTER determines your DESTINY
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