Adventurers of the Lucky Vale XXII

[Sciread77]

Greetings, and welcome to all! I’m a married parent of 4 kids aged 0-8. I’m ultimately an adventurer at heart, though I train similar to a lot of Rangers (and I’m something of a Druid Paladin which is also something of an equivalent to a Ranger).  I love hiking, exploring, traveling, and other fun things with the family.  Since shortly before joining Nerdfitness, my physical training is typically built around injury rehabilitation (which happens a bit more often due to autoimmune arthritis) and training to be able to travel, explore, and play with my family. I have a pretty effective Disney World training system, and try to ensure that at any point I’m strong enough to carry my whole family somewhere. That has become more difficult as the years go on but I can still do it for the most part.  I am also an enthusiastic suburban homesteader bent on establishing an orchard and vegetable garden, so things can get pretty out-doorsy depending on my goals. My needs mean I do a variety of types of training, and my earliest two physical training goals were “run fast” and “be able to competitively play any sport I come across.”  I prefer to avoid gyms and do a lot of body weight training. 
 

At the beginning of the year, we welcomed baby 4 into the family, my cat was diagnosed with feline dementia a few

months ago, we adopted a kitten (our third cat and Rex’s first), and we have returned to school.  At the beginning of this year, we started shopping for an existing business with a professional kitchen  to give a physical location to our small bakery. I’m not at liberty to discuss much more at this time, only to say it’s a thing that we are working hard on and I expect this challenge to bring several major changes to our lives. 
 

The fruit trees and bushes are all doing well, minus the Methly Plum tree which is alive but a deer broke the largest, tallest branch AGAIN and that part is dead. The rest of the branches are healing well. Last challenge we had our first fig, which was awesome. I’ve never had a raw dig before and as Bo Peep almost immediately ate said fig, nothing has changed. Deer chomped my kumquat tree, , my serranos, and my Carolina Reapers  a couple of challenges ago but they appear to have regretted that and haven’t bothered anything on my front porch since. I have 2 serranos, my all-time favorite peppers, ready to pick. I am losing hope on the Carolina Reapers; the plant seems to be ok but no fruit  . We have several wild pumpkin plants growing including one enormous one that started under our deck and has grown around the stairs. No pumpkins and sadly, I don’t think we have any female flowers. My dreams of a fall homestead surrounded by a bountiful crop of squash will likely need to wait at least another year, though if I possibly can I’ll make it happen this year. 
 

The other fruit trees in the back are going fairly well. The Rainier’s replacement will arrive the week of September 19th and I am looking forward to that. Our next door neighbors said they’re looking to get a peach tree, too. Yes, yes, come to the Dark Side (we have orchards!). Their Apple tree is doing well too, and apparently it lost all its leaves last month. 
 

The vegetable garden is basically dead. I have only myself to blame. The weeds got totally out of control and choked out pretty much everything. I have some surviving tomatoes and that’s it. The berries are all doing well and provides a decent harvest this year, enough to reasonably blunt out fruit bill. I think we’re going to torpedo the veggie gardens after this season and try again when we can get the cinder blocks and seal off the bottom; the weeds have been atrocious and I don’t think I ever really blocked the root systems underneath them. I want a veggie garden but what we’re doing isn’t working well without a larger amount of maintenance than we’ll be able to provide with society being restarted. Jessie wants to move the whole thing to the deck, which requires more care as far as watering and soil quality go but is virtually weed free.
 

Part of the problem this year has really been mosquitoes. They don’t touch me but they persecute the rest of the family and le bébé is not fully vaccinated against stuff and the love him so I can’t even really wear him in the harness for anything less than actively mowing the lawn. Which, I might add, has looked more like a field or jungle. Between those,  the wasps I finally got rid of, and the vicious dogs living behind us, we haven’t really been able to use our back yard this year and that makes me sad. 
 

There IS and update I can share, though. The people with those dogs sold their house and they’re moving. They had an open house Sunday and received a pending contract almost immediately.  This brings a great relief to me and basically all the neighbors. For those who don’t know, we were warned about the dogs when we moved in. Then one of them came over the fence and attacked my dog out of the blue, and my precious Mama Dog lost half her ear. Turns out that the pair of dogs 1. Gets out regularly and 2. Attacks other animals, children, and even adults. 3. The owners take zero responsibility and gaslight people about it. These are the only neighbors here I don’t like, because they’re an actual danger. I am relieved they’re gone, because it means soon I’ll be able to remove the rabbit fencing I’ve kept at the very back to keep our dogs and kids several feet away from that back fence. I’ll have the freedom to establish a real garden at the back, since my attempts to grow an espaliered tree hedge have largely failed. We do have a thriving Crapemyrtle and blackberries along the back and I look forward to basically making those and the lilac bush  a full hedge without the threat of a dog attack. 
 

Healthwise, we’ve been living the keto lifestyle for a little over 6 months, and we’ve found it to be incredibly easy to stick to 99% of the time, meaning we’re seeing more success and I’m burning less willpower on food-related stuff. I am past my arbitrary goal weight, and I’m focusing hard now on maintaining around this weight while achieving my goal composition.  The last time I was this weight was before I met Jessie and when I was in my student teaching (yeah, before the wrestling coach gig!) That is, one of the best shapes of my life. I want to be lean and strong, not skinny and weak. (Tried that and hated it).  I fell off the wagon a bit when it comes to strength workouts.  I do push-ups in people’s name as a form of prayer and last challenge saw a lot of sickness and worry, so it sort of took over everything else. 
 

I would like to get back into doing squats and deadlifts at the YMCA gym but I think it’s going to take getting the house and routine into order. I have, quite frankly, been struggling with the return to school. Jessie works really long hours, the kids have their school and activities, and I have my job as well as the responsibility to clean and organize everything possible at home. We’re not yet at something sustainable. 
 

Further, therapy has been generally going well but I still have been snapping and yelling at people, and that has to end. It isn’t healthy for anyone, including me, and I need to practice healthier ways of expressing myself. So that is a new challenge goal. Feel emotions, and express them in appropriate ways at appropriate times. 

 

Goals: 

1. Sleep. As best as possible. I’m a nonfunctional mess without sleep and can sacrifice it for a few days ok but then I have to make it a super high priority to regain it. This is critical to managing my emotions as well. 
 

2. Basic calisthenics routine at the least. Preferably with 1-2 big weights sessions at the gym, and I’d like to find home alternatives to the barbell squats and deadlifts. Woody is practicing and building his upper body strength for a ballet lift in his winter duet. The older boys are both in cross country. The oldest 3 are taking dance classes and Rex is back in gymnastics. Jessie and I proposed working out remotely with Marinara since his girlfriend takes zero initiative and doesn’t give him the boost he needs to do it. So we might start that as well.
 

3. Take one concrete step forward per day- at least one tangible, visible thing to make life better. This ranges from things as small as “dig out the replacement toaster” to as big as “reorganize the playroom.” I don’t have to complete the bigger ones as long as I make progress. 
 

4.  Take one concrete step forward per day career-wise. I need my job but I’m not satisfied in it and otherwise need a change. I need to hone/adapt skills and look for other opportunities. -> Currently, this involves working towards dramatically expanding a part-time business into a full-time business, which would have Jessie running that business full-time and likely have me also working it full time within the next few years. I’ve also continued to interview elsewhere to help give us options. I really want the business to work though. 
 

5.  I need to retake the yard and the garden. It’s been overgrown for too long and I want it back. 

6. Therapy.  I have a new diagnoses and new medication that have been, it feels, pretty life changing. I finished intensive therapy that was also insanely helpful prior to that and I am continuing with less frequent sessions. My goal is to better learn how to manage ADHD and how to be a more connected, present, and supportive husband and father. I think I have been progressing well. I feel healthy. I am excited about how this has gone. I am

working on anger management and taking a page from the book of Mr. Fred Rogers. I had no idea that he struggled with a strong and volatile temper. He never wanted to be remembered as a saint because he didn’t want his example to be unachievable but I do think he is probably the best person who ever lived a full life. I will be looking to him as an example and we’ve decided to introduce the show as a regular part of our kids’ lives. Gods know it’s as helpful to me as it is to them. 
 

The kids love D&D and making movies. Woody destroyed my workstation this weekend and built an art and stop-action animation studio. He and Rex made a short film AND layered voiceover so I’m super proud of him. 
 

I am excited for this challenge and what life has to offer next. 

[Aquarii]

Sorry to hear that your plants are struggling so much this year. I hope you will still be able to get some crops out of them this fall. But I am so happy to hear about the neighbor with those dogs moving. I know that having those dogs around were really worrisome. 

 

I still really love your concept of "take one concrete step." I don't always approach my challenges that way, but it has been something that I occasionally think about when I am feeling stuck or am particularly struggling with motivation.

 

I will definitely be following along again this challenge!  

[Sciread77]

21 minutes ago, Aquarii said:

Sorry to hear that your plants are struggling so much this year. I hope you will still be able to get some crops out of them this fall. But I am so happy to hear about the neighbor with those dogs moving. I know that having those dogs around were really worrisome. 
 

 

Thanks! Me too. I can’t wait. Part of me is really nervous that there will be one more incident before they’re fully gone. 
 

Quote

 

I still really love your concept of "take one concrete step." I don't always approach my challenges that way, but it has been something that I occasionally think about when I am feeling stuck or am particularly struggling with motivation.

 

It’s not been “enough” but it’s also really been the only thing that actually works for me. 
 

I read an article last night about making the commitment to finish whatever you start, which includes starting less. I know I tend to flit from thing to thing and leave a dozen jobs half-finished, and I think that while one might be inadequate overall, that it has been an improvement simply because I do actually finish something.  Our house mostly doesn’t look like a frat house anymore and are carpets are staying relatively clean, which are what I would call major victories. 

 

 

Quote

 

I will definitely be following along again this challenge!  

Thanks! Glad to have you. 
 

BTW, what is the certification you’re working on/who is it through? Jessie and I considering something that may be similar?

 

Between forgetfulness and temper, I alienated most of my family this weekend. We’re back to better terms but I was already thinking hard about my temper and yelling. Then I promised Rex, our chef, a BBQ yesterday but I was so mopey from guilt over snapping at people I completely forgot. So today, I will be fixing BBQ and having it ready to go at his grandma’s so he can eat it between cross country and dance. 

[Aquarii]

1 minute ago, Sciread77 said:

I read an article last night about making the commitment to finish whatever you start, which includes starting less. I know I tend to flit from thing to thing and leave a dozen jobs half-finished, and I think that while one might be inadequate overall, that it has been an improvement simply because I do actually finish something.  Our house mostly doesn’t look like a frat house anymore and are carpets are staying relatively clean, which are what I would call major victories. 

 

I have been trying to be better about finishing what I start and on starting fewer things (or at least delaying them until other things are finished). It can be a challenge. One of the things I tend to do when swinging more towards the manic side of things is start ALL THE THINGS. And then not finish any of them. But, being more aware of that is definitely helping me to learn to mitigate it some....some. And part of that has been remembering your "one concrete thing."

 

5 minutes ago, Sciread77 said:

BTW, what is the certification you’re working on/who is it through? I’m considering something that may be similar?

 

I am currently working towards the certification test for the Personal Trainer through The American Council on Exercise (ACE Fitness Personal Trainer). I also plan to do their Health Coach Certification. My main goal was always the health coach, but it required that I first be certified in personal training or have a exercise science degree. Now that I have actually worked through most the materials for the personal training cert, I am also a lot more interested in the fitness and training aspect of things than I thought I would be originally. 

 

If you decide you want to do one of their programs, wait till they are running a 50% off sale on their certificate programs. They run the sale pretty frequently. I also looked at NASM when I was considering a program, so you might want to look at them as well, as I know they are also accreditted and a big name in the fitness space as well.

[Snarkyfishguts]

5 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

The vegetable garden is basically dead. I have only myself to blame

I would like to blame the pandemic, the man-eating dogs, the bugs and horrible weather too.  "only myself" I SCOFF AT YOUR STATEMENT, SIR. 

 

My yard is a mess too.  And the bugs are really bad. I had to scare away a couple bats that would come under our porch for lunch because they poop EVERYWHERE, but they were really helpful with the bugs... sigh. My cousin in atlanta has an army worm infestation, some kinda spider problem AND flies. It's just bonkers. We need a really good winter where everything freezes up beautifully and kills off some bugs!

 

Those dogs and neighbors sound awful. Good riddance to them!

 

 

 

[Sciread77]

10 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I would like to blame the pandemic, the man-eating dogs, the bugs and horrible weather too.  "only myself" I SCOFF AT YOUR STATEMENT, SIR. 
 

 

Well, I agree that those are contributors. 

 

10 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

 

My yard is a mess too.  And the bugs are really bad. I had to scare away a couple bats that would come under our porch for lunch because they poop EVERYWHERE, but they were really helpful with the bugs... sigh. My cousin in atlanta has an army worm infestation, some kinda spider problem AND flies. It's just bonkers. We need a really good winter where everything freezes up beautifully and kills off some bugs!

 

See, I love autumn and winter because I hate bugs. 
 

Actually, I hate aphids, wasps, and mosquitoes. I’ve actually been cultivating the local mite population (the ones that look like a spider and a blueberry had babies) because they don’t bother us and they absolutely decimate the things I hate, especially as they near the house. 

 

10 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

 

Those dogs and neighbors sound awful. Good riddance to them!

 

 

 

Thanks. I’m very excited!

[Sciread77]

Today was a pretty good day. I got a good amount of stuff accomplished. I added two “pots” to the front. The first between the existing corner bed and the garage door. The second around one of our other big tree in the front. 
 

I also almost concussed myself. I whacked my head on a branch. Got a nice knot. 
 

I had bloodwork done for my health insurance and I’m annoyed that my blood pressure was high. I knew it would be. Early morning work exploded, I was late, had a minor panic attack about a bill I didn’t remember I’d paid (I did), and then ran inside. Yeah. But otherwise I hope it’s gonna look good. 
 

Jessie’s school situation is not optimal. The hall outside of her room is basically the prime spot for fights, and kids keep bringing  weapons to school. The one who brought a gun had a hit list of girls. So it’s totally possible that something happens and she goes full time into the business early. 
 

I now have a Stupid Log I can throw. It has been helpful so far. 

[Aquarii]

11 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

I also almost concussed myself. I whacked my head on a branch. Got a nice knot. 

 

Oof. Just reading that felt painful. I have done similar things in the past and...never a good time. I hope you are alright.

 

 

I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your wife's job. That sounds extremely stressful for both her and you. That kind of thing going on in schools is just so sad.

[sarakingdom]

On 9/7/2021 at 7:52 AM, Sciread77 said:

The vegetable garden is basically dead. I have only myself to blame. The weeds got totally out of control and choked out pretty much everything. I have some surviving tomatoes and that’s it. The berries are all doing well and provides a decent harvest this year, enough to reasonably blunt out fruit bill. I think we’re going to torpedo the veggie gardens after this season and try again when we can get the cinder blocks and seal off the bottom; the weeds have been atrocious and I don’t think I ever really blocked the root systems underneath them. I want a veggie garden but what we’re doing isn’t working well without a larger amount of maintenance than we’ll be able to provide with society being restarted. Jessie wants to move the whole thing to the deck, which requires more care as far as watering and soil quality go but is virtually weed free.

 

1. Charles Dowding's no-dig beds, which involves covering weeds in one or two layers of cardboard, putting a couple of inches of compost on top of that, and planting directly into it. By the time the plants get down to the cardboard and break through, everything under it will have been killed from lack of light. It's like laying down plastic, but biodegradable.

 

2. Things happen. Sometimes even when you do it all right, it's a bad year. It takes some time to get there. Diversify. Herbs and green leafs are always going to be more bulletproof than the more interesting stuff. Green onions. Have I mentioned green onions lately? (Really, what you want is the bunching ones grown from seed, because the green onions in the store could be anything, but they're a decent start.)

 

3. Stick in some perennials that aren't much to look at now. Rhubarb. Asparagus. Green onions. Someone should really tell you about green onions.

 

4. Clear some space, and just chuck in a whole bed of leafy greens for autumn. Heavy on the chard. Chard is a winner. Beets. They're almost chard. Lettuce. The season isn't over, it's just not summer. Just scatter things.

 

5. Speaking of summer, IMO it's one of the least reliable growing seasons in most climates. Especially in the south, where I presume you are. The summer is not your friend as a gardener. It looks like it is, because you want tomatoes and zucchini, but it's a lie. Spring and autumn are your friend, and you can negotiate productively with winter.

 

6. Asian vegetables will probably work very well for you. Super hardy in heat and cold. Asian squashes and greens and other varietals may be worth it until you figure out what's growing well. Garlic chives, while technically an herb, are used as a vegetable there, and grow like anything. indestructible.

[Sciread77]

4 hours ago, Aquarii said:

 

Oof. Just reading that felt painful. I have done similar things in the past and...never a good time. I hope you are alright.

 

 

I think it hurt my pride more than my body.  Got a nice cut and welt but that seems about it. 

 

4 hours ago, Aquarii said:

 

I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your wife's job. That sounds extremely stressful for both her and you. That kind of thing going on in schools is just so sad.

I’m  worried, of course, but also disappointed.  I’d hoped this school wouldn’t have an environment quite like this. And that maybe this year would be better than last year. Still hoping that. The coworkers here awesome. 

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

1. Charles Dowding's no-dig beds, which involves covering weeds in one or two layers of cardboard, putting a couple of inches of compost on top of that, and planting directly into it. By the time the plants get down to the cardboard and break through, everything under it will have been killed from lack of light. It's like laying down plastic, but biodegradable.

 

 

That’s how I made these. I love them but there are a few issues. One was that a surprising number of cardboard boxes had a plastic layer, another was drainage issues with the border I made to keep rabbits out, and the last is that you need to put the cardboard down every year or else weeds start to take over. They’re all solvable problems, but I didn’t fix them this year and once I let the weeds get out of hand, they killed a lot of the stuff and other things drowned. 

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

2. Things happen. Sometimes even when you do it all right, it's a bad year. It takes some time to get there. Diversify. Herbs and green leafs are always going to be more bulletproof than the more interesting stuff. Green onions. Have I mentioned green onions lately? (Really, what you want is the bunching ones grown from seed, because the green onions in the store could be anything, but they're a decent start.)

 

I think that’s where we’re at now. 

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

3. Stick in some perennials that aren't much to look at now. Rhubarb. Asparagus. Green onions. Someone should really tell you about green onions.

 

Sadly, Rhubarb was one of the casualties. I think we’re gonna bulldoze this garden and start a more permanent one from scratch. 

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

4. Clear some space, and just chuck in a whole bed of leafy greens for autumn. Heavy on the chard. Chard is a winner. Beets. They're almost chard. Lettuce. The season isn't over, it's just not summer. Just scatter things.

Music to Rex’s ears. I’m clearing some space right now, but once the weeds are back under control we have a great spot for beets and leafy greens by our strawberry and boysenberry bushes. 

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

5. Speaking of summer, IMO it's one of the least reliable growing seasons in most climates. Especially in the south, where I presume you are. The summer is not your friend as a gardener. It looks like it is, because you want tomatoes and zucchini, but it's a lie. Spring and autumn are your friend, and you can negotiate productively with winter.

 

Summer is not my favorite,  I’m in Missouri, not quite the South but it still gets hot for a pretty sustained period, especially the last 10ish years. 

 

2 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

6. Asian vegetables will probably work very well for you. Super hardy in heat and cold. Asian squashes and greens and other varietals may be worth it until you figure out what's growing well. Garlic chives, while technically an herb, are used as a vegetable there, and grow like anything. indestructible.

I’ll have to try those.  Once in a while I grow onions by the sink. They tend to last a few months and we get some green onion every day from it. But I’ve never planted onion in the yard due to Dogs. 
 

 

[Teros]

On 9/7/2021 at 8:52 AM, Sciread77 said:

I am losing hope on the Carolina Reapers; the plant seems to be ok but no fruit

Are they still growing though? Like is the plant itself getting taller, more branches, etc? Or is it stunted and doing nothing?  I read that some tomato plants have an issue with this where if they can, they choose to grow the plant itself and neglect bearing the fruit unless you intentionally stunt their growth: then they have no other option but to produce.

 

On 9/7/2021 at 8:52 AM, Sciread77 said:

we’re seeing more success and I’m burning less willpower on food-related stuff.

 

I'm hitting that stride with my measuring stuff.  Batch cooking and then meausuring all the amounts and then eating out of my glass bowls makes it more auto-pilot and less need to use willpower.

 

Good-o on the hellbeasts moving.

[Sciread77]

On 9/9/2021 at 2:40 PM, Teros said:

Are they still growing though? Like is the plant itself getting taller, more branches, etc? Or is it stunted and doing nothing?  I read that some tomato plants have an issue with this where if they can, they choose to grow the plant itself and neglect bearing the fruit unless you intentionally stunt their growth: then they have no other option but to produce.

 

It’s been stunted and doing nothing. Still alive, but not producing flowers or fruit. It isn’t dead, which is good, I’m just not sure I’m gonna get a reaper out of it. 

 

Quote

 

 

I'm hitting that stride with my measuring stuff.  Batch cooking and then meausuring all the amounts and then eating out of my glass bowls makes it more auto-pilot and less need to use willpower.

 

It’s been super nice.  I love cooking. But I hate meal planning. 

 

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Good-o on the hellbeasts moving.

Yes. I have word that they’re moving in about 3 weeks. I am stoked. I went to try to reclaim my back fence and one of the damned things came up and got aggressive again so that ain’t happening until they’re confirmed gone. 
 

I plan on bakery-ing up a storm’s worth of welcome and invite to the new neighbors. These neighbors moving are the only ones I’ve not known at all in my whole life, who just pretended I didn’t exist when I tried to introduce myself several times. I had an off feeling about them even before their dogs attacked mine and I found out about the rest. I will be sure to establish a good relationship with the new neighbors who move in. 
 

I don’t really have news on other business except to say that we’re suddenly able to move forward with a lot of additional pieces and we’re moving closer to big things. I am excited and slightly relieved. I’ll be fully relieved when we are finished. 
 

I listened to Come From Away this morning and it was cathartic. It’s on Apple TV now too which is good. We’re going to watch it with the kids tomorrow. They talked about 9/11 in school and then saw a fire truck flying a flag and 9/11 memorials on the way home so we also talked about it all night. Gods, that is still a traumatic memory for me and I was just a Midwestern high school student at the time. I think it’s gotten worse over time since that’s when so many things (and people) accelerates in changing for the worse. Though Come From Away reminds me that there were some good things that we managed to pull from that tragedy. 

[sarakingdom]

6 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

They talked about 9/11 in school and then saw a fire truck flying a flag and 9/11 memorials on the way home so we also talked about it all night. Gods, that is still a traumatic memory for me and I was just a Midwestern high school student at the time. I think it’s gotten worse over time since that’s when so many things (and people) accelerates in changing for the worse. Though Come From Away reminds me that there were some good things that we managed to pull from that tragedy. 

 

I would not be this open about my 9/11 feels if we were not friends and Voyager buddies, because I have Unpopular Opinions.

 

Spoiler

As someone based in the New York area back then, I have... feelings about how that became a national trauma for people who didn't live there, and probably didn't even remember the 1993 World Trade Center bombing by Al Qaeda. The country wasn't with New York in 1993, and didn't help New York or use the 2001 bombing in any way New York approved of, so they weren't very much with them then, either. I hate that 9/11 was so politically useful that it got used to traumatise a whole country that had nothing to do with it. It was the most openly cynical political use of fear that I'd ever seen up close, and is still at least number 2 on the list. I hate that it got appropriated to be used as a major trauma of people who had had no skin in the game, lost no one, helped no one, did not experience it, saw nothing first hand, didn't call a loved one working downtown to make sure they were okay, didn't get on those streets the next day and the next, did not in truth live the experience. They watched it on TV. It was an experience happening to someone else that they saw on a screen, and they were led to believe that meant it had happened to them. New York held strong. The rest of the country wallows in second-hand grief every year, and it's a bit disgusting to me. In no other tragic event would it be considered remotely okay for people who were not the survivors to make it all about them and grieve every year. No rape, no murder, no natural disaster would be all right for third parties who saw it on the news to appropriate as their own grief and use that way. No one turns to a cancer survivor they saw on the news on every anniversary of the diagnosis and weeps that they can't believe they got through that together, and that it was such a tragedy in both their lives. The event was used. It was turned into that.

 

I loathe that anywhere else in the country has a 9/11 memorial, because from a New York perspective, it's manufactured grief. (And New York, on the whole, does not have one. Some private observances, some government and first responder speeches to mark things, but it's on the whole a private observance. People don't talk about it, at least not on 9/11.) It's not the quiet solemnity of someone who was there and helped or lost people. It didn't come with compassion for New York, but rather the irrational fear of what was coming to Main Street in rural America (answer: nothing, because nothing in rural America is a target a terrorist could use for headlines) and irrational fear of a lot of the pro-immigration, pro-multicultural values New York held and holds dear. That's the only trauma most of the country experienced on 9/11: fear. And not rational fear. No one in South Dakota or Ohio, or anyone outside a small handful of cities, many of which had experienced terrorist violence before, had any reason to fear anything coming to them until a steady drumbeat of fear mongering said so, and deep down, I think they knew that it was a safe fear. Fear lite, all of the chills with none of the possible consequences; the moral high of victimhood without the cost. No one in Indiana or Arizona was afraid after the first successful Al Qaeda bombing in '93, they forgot it within a couple of weeks, if that. 9/11 was an artificially whipped-up self-involved fear, mixed up with xenophobia and political utility, used to scare and manipulate good people into listening to their worst and most fearful instincts, and if I could wipe the memory of 9/11 from the minds of everyone but New Yorkers and survivors every year, I would. To my mind, watching the US  observe 9/11 every year is at best like watching the country wallow in its least wise, most self-absorbed self, and at worst like enduring National Spit on a Survivor Day every year. It's disrespectful to the survivors for the rest of the country to grieve like this every year over what they experienced as a remote news story. I hate it. I hate it a lot. And there are, in my experience, not many New Yorkers truly okay with how the rest of the country treats 9/11. Some, certainly. But I've never met one firsthand,

 

(I'm starting to feel like the Scrooge of 9/11, wishing everyone going around with a Merry Christmas on their lips would be found with a sprig of holly through their hearts, and, like, then my brain explodes from trying to imagine that redemption story with the three ghosts and throwing myself into the festivities as a reformed character who is now all in favor of, uh, *checks notes* 9/11, and I can't even, so I might just choose to remain the Scrooge.)

 

Uh, sorry about that. I seem to have a hot button this time of year...

[Sciread77]

6 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

I would not be this open about my 9/11 feels if we were not friends and Voyager buddies, because I have Unpopular Opinions.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

As someone based in the New York area back then, I have... feelings about how that became a national trauma for people who didn't live there, and probably didn't even remember the 1993 World Trade Center bombing by Al Qaeda. The country wasn't with New York in 1993, and didn't help New York or use the 2001 bombing in any way New York approved of, so they weren't very much with them then, either. I hate that 9/11 was so politically useful that it got used to traumatise a whole country that had nothing to do with it. It was the most openly cynical political use of fear that I'd ever seen up close, and is still at least number 2 on the list. I hate that it got appropriated to be used as a major trauma of people who had had no skin in the game, lost no one, helped no one, did not experience it, saw nothing first hand, didn't call a loved one working downtown to make sure they were okay, didn't get on those streets the next day and the next, did not in truth live the experience. They watched it on TV. It was an experience happening to someone else that they saw on a screen, and they were led to believe that meant it had happened to them. New York held strong. The rest of the country wallows in second-hand grief every year, and it's a bit disgusting to me. In no other tragic event would it be considered remotely okay for people who were not the survivors to make it all about them and grieve every year. No rape, no murder, no natural disaster would be all right for third parties who saw it on the news to appropriate as their own grief and use that way. No one turns to a cancer survivor they saw on the news on every anniversary of the diagnosis and weeps that they can't believe they got through that together, and that it was such a tragedy in both their lives. The event was used. It was turned into that.

 

I loathe that anywhere else in the country has a 9/11 memorial, because from a New York perspective, it's manufactured grief. (And New York, on the whole, does not have one. Some private observances, some government and first responder speeches to mark things, but it's on the whole a private observance. People don't talk about it, at least not on 9/11.) It's not the quiet solemnity of someone who was there and helped or lost people. It didn't come with compassion for New York, but rather the irrational fear of what was coming to Main Street in rural America (answer: nothing, because nothing in rural America is a target a terrorist could use for headlines) and irrational fear of a lot of the pro-immigration, pro-multicultural values New York held and holds dear. That's the only trauma most of the country experienced on 9/11: fear. And not rational fear. No one in South Dakota or Ohio, or anyone outside a small handful of cities, many of which had experienced terrorist violence before, had any reason to fear anything coming to them until a steady drumbeat of fear mongering said so, and deep down, I think they knew that it was a safe fear. Fear lite, all of the chills with none of the possible consequences; the moral high of victimhood without the cost. No one in Indiana or Arizona was afraid after the first successful Al Qaeda bombing in '93, they forgot it within a couple of weeks, if that. 9/11 was an artificially whipped-up self-involved fear, mixed up with xenophobia and political utility, used to scare and manipulate good people into listening to their worst and most fearful instincts, and if I could wipe the memory of 9/11 from the minds of everyone but New Yorkers and survivors every year, I would. To my mind, watching the US  observe 9/11 every year is at best like watching the country wallow in its least wise, most self-absorbed self, and at worst like enduring National Spit on a Survivor Day every year. It's disrespectful to the survivors for the rest of the country to grieve like this every year over what they experienced as a remote news story. I hate it. I hate it a lot. And there are, in my experience, not many New Yorkers truly okay with how the rest of the country treats 9/11. Some, certainly. But I've never met one firsthand,

 

(I'm starting to feel like the Scrooge of 9/11, wishing everyone going around with a Merry Christmas on their lips would be found with a sprig of holly through their hearts, and, like, then my brain explodes from trying to imagine that redemption story with the three ghosts and throwing myself into the festivities as a reformed character who is now all in favor of, uh, *checks notes* 9/11, and I can't even, so I might just choose to remain the Scrooge.)

 

Uh, sorry about that. I seem to have a hot button this time of year...

 

Spoiler

I did have people in New York, and struggled to call/contact them to ensure they were all right. That wasn’t the thing they really traumatized me. I never really feared terrorists attack at my home. 
 

It was ultimately the 24 hour new cycle, the way it was used politically, and the fact that a lot of people changed totally (or, possibly, started to express their true values rather than the ones they pretended to hold). It was a catalyst for the religious trauma I had been developing, because I legitimately thought we had entered Biblical end times. 
 

It wasn’t my home, and I didn’t live in fear of a terrorist attack as much as I did TSA or the sudden, seemingly

multiplying  invasions.  It’s a totally different kind of trauma that took place over years and marked the death of what I thought my country and family and friends stood for.  And it never really hit me, not really, until I saw Come From Away how much it all affected me. 
 

I think those changes and the way it was politicized turned it into a national trauma. There’s a reason that Karl Rove and several other people responsible for this are treated like 4-letter  words in our household. They didn’t crash the planes, but they definitely made it as bad as possible for as many people as possible for political points and to stoke anger to fuel support for their wars.  It’s unjust, unfair, and an affront to the memory of those who died and those who experienced personal loss. 

Also to your point,  here’s Lewis Black about the “city” I went to college in and their ridiculous fear during the anthrax scare. 

 

 

 

 

[sarakingdom]

1 hour ago, Sciread77 said:

 

  Hide contents

I did have people in New York, and struggled to call/contact them to ensure they were all right. That wasn’t the thing they really traumatized me. I never really feared terrorists attack at my home. 
 

It was ultimately the 24 hour new cycle, the way it was used politically, and the fact that a lot of people changed totally (or, possibly, started to express their true values rather than the ones they pretended to hold). It was a catalyst for the religious trauma I had been developing, because I legitimately thought we had entered Biblical end times. 
 

It wasn’t my home, and I didn’t live in fear of a terrorist attack as much as I did TSA or the sudden, seemingly

multiplying  invasions.  It’s a totally different kind of trauma that took place over years and marked the death of what I thought my country and family and friends stood for.  And it never really hit me, not really, until I saw Come From Away how much it all affected me. 
 

I think those changes and the way it was politicized turned it into a national trauma. There’s a reason that Karl Rove and several other people responsible for this are treated like 4-letter  words in our household. They didn’t crash the planes, but they definitely made it as bad as possible for as many people as possible for political points and to stoke anger to fuel support for their wars.  It’s unjust, unfair, and an affront to the memory of those who died and those who experienced personal loss. 

Also to your point,  here’s Lewis Black about the “city” I went to college in and their ridiculous fear during the anthrax scare. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Wow, I got a heck of a rant on last night, sorry about that.

 

Anyway, it was not intended to call you out in the least, though I can see why it may not have given that impression.

 

What a shitshow that whole era was. I can definitely understand why it triggered a lot of religious end times fears, because it was whipped up into a big religious war of civilizations on the one hand while the other hand made the right soothing motions that no one was doing that. Definitely not an angle I was aware of at the time, though it was hard to miss the crusade angle.

 

(It's hard to overstate how incredibly regional the focus on the end times or the rapture is; it's like a religion of its own that only affects part of the country. I never heard either phrase until I was in college, and it had to be explained to me. No church I'd been to or Christian I'd met had ever mentioned it. It's just not a thing. So there are huge cultural translation issues even between Christian groups. And boy, are they politically exploited.)

 

There definitely were people who openly feared for their safety going to the mall in small towns outside Des Moines; who knew when or where Al Qaeda would attack, no one was safe. It stuck with me because it was so bizarre and sad and careening away from reality, and all the more sad and ominous because it was being groomed. No one was afraid of that in 1993, even though they managed a near complete media blackout for days in one of the largest metro areas and a major media center. I'd totally forgotten the anthrax thing, but yeah. Yeah. There are, looking back, some things that should have been bigger warning signs about how politics was being reshaped at the ground level.

 

Every so often, I'm confronted with some unexpected reality of having a generation of adults who've never known a country that wasn't at war. We may discover a lot more of those now that the situation has changed. I suspect we'll learn some of the problems with a  all-voluntnteer army and how they're run, too.

 

[Happienumber]

On 9/7/2021 at 8:52 AM, Sciread77 said:

At the beginning of this year, we started shopping for an existing business with a professional kitchen  to give a physical location to our small bakery. I’m not at liberty to discuss much more at this time

 

Ok just starting off that i'm extremly intrigued by you as a person that has a classified bakery relocation operation in the works.

 

On 9/7/2021 at 2:18 PM, Sciread77 said:

See, I love autumn and winter because I hate bugs. 

 

 

16 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

It’s been stunted and doing nothing. Still alive, but not producing flowers or fruit. It isn’t dead, which is good, I’m just not sure I’m gonna get a reaper out of it. 

 

Maybe next year it will revive?

I am so shocked that the deer ate them I thought capsaicin was supposed to dissuade monching animals LOL

 

 

[Sciread77]

3 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Wow, I got a heck of a rant on last night, sorry about that.

 

Anyway, it was not intended to call you out in the least, though I can see why it may not have given that impression.

 

What a shitshow that whole era was. I can definitely understand why it triggered a lot of religious end times fears, because it was whipped up into a big religious war of civilizations on the one hand while the other hand made the right soothing motions that no one was doing that. Definitely not an angle I was aware of at the time, though it was hard to miss the crusade angle.

 

(It's hard to overstate how incredibly regional the focus on the end times or the rapture is; it's like a religion of its own that only affects part of the country. I never heard either phrase until I was in college, and it had to be explained to me. No church I'd been to or Christian I'd met had ever mentioned it. It's just not a thing. So there are huge cultural translation issues even between Christian groups. And boy, are they politically exploited.)

 

There definitely were people who openly feared for their safety going to the mall in small towns outside Des Moines; who knew when or where Al Qaeda would attack, no one was safe. It stuck with me because it was so bizarre and sad and careening away from reality, and all the more sad and ominous because it was being groomed. No one was afraid of that in 1993, even though they managed a near complete media blackout for days in one of the largest metro areas and a major media center. I'd totally forgotten the anthrax thing, but yeah. Yeah. There are, looking back, some things that should have been bigger warning signs about how politics was being reshaped at the ground level.

 

Every so often, I'm confronted with some unexpected reality of having a generation of adults who've never known a country that wasn't at war. We may discover a lot more of those now that the situation has changed. I suspect we'll learn some of the problems with a  all-voluntnteer army and how they're run, too.

 

 

Spoiler

No worries, I didn’t take it that way so much as I want to clarify and note that a big part of my trauma is ultimately a betrayal of everything people taught me. Which has continued more and more into the present. 
 

Keeping in mind that I was a kid who in early high school meticulously researched the rise of fascism and the Holocaust to keep it from happening again. 2 of my best friends I met at 12 were Jewish and brought it closer, and I started to see things I didn’t like. Many of my conservative allies (I was quite conservative then thinking wrongly that was how to fight fascism) turned out to be pretty open and accepting of that.

 

I said for years that I was more concerned with our fear and racism than the terrorist threats. I was routinely harassed by TSA. And it was ridiculous that people were afraid to go to Midwestern malls “because terrorists.”  The war on terror was always poorly defined and unwinnable. 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, Happienumber said:

 

Ok just starting off that i'm extremly intrigued by you as a person that has a classified bakery relocation operation in the works.

 

I will be posting more details later this challenge when I can release them publicly. My family started a cottage bakery in 2018. The state rules require a commercial

kitchen for us to sell the volume that would make it a full-time business, and we need one. After all that was 2020, we decided that 2021 is the year, pulled our partner (and my eldest son’s godfather) Marinara into the business and started shopping. 

 

2 hours ago, Happienumber said:

 

 

 

 

All of the above 😂 

 

2 hours ago, Happienumber said:

 

Maybe next year it will revive?

I am so shocked that the deer ate them I thought capsaicin was supposed to dissuade monching animals LOL

 

 

 

It isn’t dead, just not producing. I’m not sure if they’re perennials. 
 

I am pretty sure it was the babies. The adults don’t come near our house and it was in our porch. Plus, it was only the very top and they’ve not come anywhere near the peppers or even  the potted kumquat tree since then. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Thinking about you and your horrible garden today ❤️  My herbs are dying and it's very rude. I did not tell them to die.  Rude, rude. My parsley has catepillars on it. I know they'll turn into butterflies, but all I can think about is their gross little feet on my parsley, and it's enough to make a person order pizza.  

[sarakingdom]

2 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

It isn’t dead, just not producing. I’m not sure if they’re perennials. 

 

In their native climate, they are. In your climate... not so much, though there are people who talk about how to overwinter their peppers and get a head start. The safest route is lift and store, but you might get lucky with a heavy mulch.

 

53 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

My parsley has catepillars on it. I know they'll turn into butterflies, but all I can think about is their gross little feet on my parsley, and it's enough to make a person order pizza.  

 

They aren't putting their gross little feet all over it, they're the quality inspectors and anti-aphid patrol, and their fluttery parents entrusted you with the care of their offspring in your hatchery and nursery.

[Sciread77]

On 9/11/2021 at 7:49 PM, sarakingdom said:

 

In their native climate, they are. In your climate... not so much, though there are people who talk about how to overwinter their peppers and get a head start. The safest route is lift and store, but you might get lucky with a heavy mulch.

 

I am definitely planning to overwinter in my closet, which is protected from certain dumb cats and has a south-facing window in it. If I can keep it alive I absolutely will. 
 

Based on my reading, I think it’s in too small of a container and it’s about as big as it can get there. I’ll have to change that, and if I put it in one of my big pots I suspect I can get the root system nice and established there so it can really explode next year. We’re overwintering the Kumquat tree and I’m planning to overwinter the serranos as well. 

 

Quote

 

 

They aren't putting their gross little feet all over it, they're the quality inspectors and anti-aphid patrol, and their fluttery parents entrusted you with the care of their offspring in your hatchery and nursery.

Aphids are the devil. 

[Sciread77]

Yesterday, I transplanted the two pepper plants into substantially larger containers. I also identified and manually fertilized 3 female pumpkin/squash flowers. If we got 3 pumpkins, even small ones, each kid would have their own home pumpkin and I would be quite satisfied. 
 

I’ve also been working hard to try to actually get the lawn under control. It’s been so overgrown and thick that instead of being able to clear the whole thing on 2-2.5 batteries, I’m only getting about 1/5 of the back on a battery.  They’re overheating and that’s not good. They’re also 3 years old now and that may be contributing.  
 

I’ve been working a little every day on several projects in addition to making sure I have something concrete and visible done as well as ensuring that the business stuff gets done, which has mainly fallen to me right now since Jessie and Marinara work during the day. I’m clearing the basement and cleaning the carpet slowly, in an effort to clear out the play room (which is an unmitigated mess and doesn’t actually function as a playroom 90% or the time) and turn it into a craft room/spare bedroom as well as generally reclaim the basement as a relaxing place where I do more than just work. I cleaned and cleared a good part of my area and Woody converted his remote schooling desk into a stop-motion animation studio, which is pretty cool. 
 

I’ve been really off on calisthenics but I started back up yesterday. I’m feeling good about that and sleep the last few days. 
 

I’ve been doing well with the “no yelling” rule and only raise my voice to call into another room. I think I’ve been calmer and less angry, and I’ve been working a lot of my anger and emotions out with the stupid log and via cathartic music. Plus, I have some hope and that really helps. 
 

[Sciread77]

I am anxious but mostly excited. 

[Happienumber]

On 9/14/2021 at 2:05 PM, Sciread77 said:

I’ve been doing well with the “no yelling” rule and only raise my voice to call into another room. I think I’ve been calmer and less angry, and I’ve been working a lot of my anger and emotions out with the stupid log and via cathartic music. Plus, I have some hope and that really helps. 

 

Amazing!! This is so awesome to hear!

[Sciread77]

5 hours ago, Happienumber said:

 

Amazing!! This is so awesome to hear!

Today has had some hard moments with this. I think part of the problem is the insane volume level the kids reach. I know that’s overwhelming and frustrating when the baby is making loud noises and the other kids are all talking over each other. 
 

Even so, I’m pleased with staying calm throughout it. 
 

We have a very busy week ahead of us, starting tomorrow. I have two meetings tomorrow, a big meeting Friday, and a lot of work to get done tomorrow and Friday including helping Jessie load and return some set pieces we borrowed for the last production. There’s a ton to get set up. I’ve come to realize that we are the engine of progress; essentially, all other parties will sit around waiting for someone else to give them an ok or drag their feet if we let them. This is our dream and our will drives it. In practice, it’s mostly been our phone calls 😂 

 

 

 

[Sciread77]

Rex is killing me today. He forgot his activity bag at home so I ran it up to school. Then it turns out he left his lunch in Jessie’s van. I’d say forget it and buy but those private school lunches cost about the same as a meal out at a sit down restaurant. So I guess I’m running that up too. 
 

Edit: Jessie’s aunt is close by so she’s able to take care of the lunch. I made a new one, nothing in his existing one is spoilable and it’s in a cooler bag anyway, so he’ll just have today’s lunch tomorrow and use his backup lunch box. 
 

Kids are a never ending series of surprises 😂