[starpuck]

 

Cracks and blemishes.   Soil and rust.   What had been her weapon, her force against the darkness, sat heavy in the barrens beyond.

It must be reclaimed.  Found, carried, reforged. 

It was hers to wield, and though it had long been from her hand, she knew she wanted it back.

 

 

 

A deviation from the normal plan of attack here perhaps?  Yes!   Food, exercise, art, all these things are wonderful and important - but I believe I have a new #1 priority for myself right now.  Something, that in turn, will likely help all the other stuff too!   

 

Today I feel like taking the first step on a new journey.  But just like Mr Frodo accepting the quest to return the ring to the fires of the mountain, mine will be a hard journey fraught with enemies!  It will take a Fellowship of helpers to keep me on this path (that's your cue) too!    I am on a quest to return to the brighter, more out-going, more cheerful, more kind, more patient Starpuck that I used to be!   I'm not sure how I got to this part of The Dismal Forest - maybe just life and circumstances, maybe being too long in a house with someone who  is negative day in and day out, I'm not sure.   And I am not blaming him, or anyone , for my arrival into this place.  Ultimately, I decide who I am, and how I react to things.

 

 

 

This isn't going to be just a light switch that gets turned on though.  I'm going to forget, or fail, or feel too tired or too upset about this or that on occasion.    But the more I work toward it, the more little wins I will get, and those wins will build up, and gain momentum, until eventually, the overall general outlook and being will start to change too.  Like slowly sweeping up the dust and grit in a warehouse that hasn't been aired out in years.  Little by little.  I can clean it up and then it will be bright and ready to house all sorts of things and people again!

 

The first things first, I need to stop venting / complaining about people and things.  I think this is natural human nature.   And indeed, it is important to air out feelings now and then instead of bottling things up and letting them fester into a poison.   But I will limit this, and also work to communicate all the great things about people.  Or see things from a different angle so as to not overly blame or come down on folks.   I've gotten into a terrible habit of complaining almost daily about people I consider friends and whom I care about, and that's not good.

 

This is all fine and good, but without track-able goals, how am I going to make sure I am putting one foot in front of another in the right direction?!    And do I really want to give up on the other things I've been working on?  No!  Of course not!    So let's get our boots on and grab our cloak and figure out how to complete this quest.

 

Goal #1 - MAKE THE CHOICE

Every journey begins with a decision.    As my mindset is really, truly, the biggest rival I have on this, I am making this top priority.    I will work on this by, daily, in the morning, use my bullet journal to set the tone for the day.   I must write something positive to start my day.    It can be something I am grateful for, a positive choice I plan on making, a comment about a friend or family member I am glad to have in my life.  Anything that would be considered a bright, positive output.    DAILY.

7x/week

 

Goal #2 - PUT YOUR BOOTS ON

After making the choice, the next step is to get your gear together and start moving.      This goal will represent that I need to maintain healthy physical habits, because  exercise helps keep my mood up, so I need to get my boots on and keep moving one step after the next.   Any kind of movement counts toward this, but I would like to still aim for 2x strength a week.

5x/week

 

Goal #3 - PACK YOUR RATIONS

You can't survive a long journey without having rations with you in your bag of holding.     This will be about eating good food, in healthy amounts, and that's that.   I don't believe I will track calories while working so hard on the mental/emotional side of things.   But without some kind of tracking, there's no way to be accountable to this.  So, since I will be using my BuJo daily anyway, I will write down what I've eaten at least, daily.

7x/week

 

Goal #4 - BRING YOUR PARCHMENT AND INK

What, why?  To document your journey of course!    But in my case, it will be less about journaling my antics, and more about putting implement to canvas.  Inktober got me back into art, as it always does, and I think it's essential for me to have a hobby that I don't feel 'super good' at, but continue doing anyway.   As I've got a lot on my plate this challenge, I am keeping it toned down (hah pun) so it's not oppressive.

3x/week

 

Now all that's left ... is to start the journey!

 

 

 

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Oh, dibs on the first healer spot. And here is my first offer of a suggestion.

18 minutes ago, Starpuck said:

The first things first, I need to stop venting / complaining about people and things.  I think this is natural human nature.   And indeed, it is important to air out feelings now and then instead of bottling things up and letting them fester into a poison.   But I will limit this, and also work to communicate all the great things about people.  Or see things from a different angle so as to not overly blame or come down on folks.   I've gotten into a terrible habit of complaining almost daily about people I consider friends and whom I care about, and that's not good.

 

Instead of "not venting/complaining" focus on the emotions you are feeling. If you feel the pull to complain about someone, dig. What is the emotion behind the complaint? Instead of "Uggg, FriendX is so annoying!" something like, "When FriendX does Y I feel Z." This is a common technique in couples counseling to allow people to speak up about their needs and feelings without it being an attack on anyone. If even that feels uncomfortable, you could simply name the emotion without the cause. "I feel annoyed" is a neutral statement. This will allow you to validate and observe your emotions without ascribing value to those emotions. You also aren't suppressing anything, you are getting the feeling out by naming it. Particularly strong emotions could also be vented through physical activity, or art.

 

 

[Nymeria]

Following for the art inspiration!

[Elastigirl]

Love this challenge!

[Mr_Willes]

5 hours ago, Starpuck said:

(that's your cue) too!  

 

Cue?

 

Is that like...

 

 

Cause that fits me perfectly!

 

If you need someone to bounce stuff of on, there are plenty of much more suited people in here, but there is also me, if you want. Use it if you think it can benefit you. To some i have a very "other" view on things, which might even help, sometimes, occasionally...

 

Anyways, glad to see you here friend!

[Cheetah]

6 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Oh, dibs on the first healer spot. And here is my first offer of a suggestion.

Instead of "not venting/complaining" focus on the emotions you are feeling. If you feel the pull to complain about someone, dig. What is the emotion behind the complaint? Instead of "Uggg, FriendX is so annoying!" something like, "When FriendX does Y I feel Z." This is a common technique in couples counseling to allow people to speak up about their needs and feelings without it being an attack on anyone. If even that feels uncomfortable, you could simply name the emotion without the cause. "I feel annoyed" is a neutral statement. This will allow you to validate and observe your emotions without ascribing value to those emotions. You also aren't suppressing anything, you are getting the feeling out by naming it. Particularly strong emotions could also be vented through physical activity, or art.

 

 

 

I agree with Tank.  Processing feelings with intent is very powerful.

[obax]

7 hours ago, Starpuck said:

 It will take a Fellowship of helpers to keep me on this path (that's your cue) too!  

 

You have my sword! Granted, my sword is made out of an old hockey stick and may or may not shatter into 1000 pieces upon dealing it's first serious strike, but you've got it!

 

One thing that I found really helped me when I was dealing with a lot of negativity and gloom in my life and wishing I could get back to a happier way of being was to think about what was different between now and then. It could be the smallest thing or a big habit that you've stopped doing, or maybe it's something you are doing now and didn't used to but it sucks more time than you'd like. Then, if you identify something, think about how you might try to reincorporate it into, or eliminate it from, your life. If it's something big, break it down into steps; if it's multiple things, just think about one at a time. See how that change effects other things, and build off that.

 

In the end it's often more complex than just that, but it can be a stepping-off point for other things, or just a thought exercise that gets you thinking differently about things, you never know what you'll find when delving into your own mind.

[starpuck]

10 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Oh, dibs on the first healer spot. And here is my first offer of a suggestion.

Instead of "not venting/complaining" focus on the emotions you are feeling. If you feel the pull to complain about someone, dig. What is the emotion behind the complaint? Instead of "Uggg, FriendX is so annoying!" something like, "When FriendX does Y I feel Z." This is a common technique in couples counseling to allow people to speak up about their needs and feelings without it being an attack on anyone. If even that feels uncomfortable, you could simply name the emotion without the cause. "I feel annoyed" is a neutral statement. This will allow you to validate and observe your emotions without ascribing value to those emotions. You also aren't suppressing anything, you are getting the feeling out by naming it. Particularly strong emotions could also be vented through physical activity, or art.

 

This is really solid and I really appreciate the insights.   Something my mother taught my sister, who taught me, was 'when you find something is super irritating to you that someone else does, pause and see if it is something you yourself do.  Sometimes you notice your own ugliness in others first.'   So in a way, I kind of sometimes do that.  Except for lately, when it's just all moan moan moan!  I caught myself today wanting to tell my work wife about something that happened over the weekend, but I paused and said, "Why?"   In the end, it happened 3 days ago, may have been more minor than I took it as being, and wasn't even the business of the person who SAID the thing that stung me, let alone my work wife's business.  So I didn't do it.   Bonus?  The event didn't have the power of irritating me again, 3 days later.

 

8 hours ago, Nymeria said:

Following for the art inspiration!

Ohh, well I can't promise it will be /good/ inspiration, but hiiii!  Glad to see ya!

 

8 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Love this challenge!

Thanks chica!  I gotta find yours tomorrow!! 

 

5 hours ago, Mr_Willes said:

 

Cue?

 

If you need someone to bounce stuff of on, there are plenty of much more suited people in here, but there is also me, if you want. Use it if you think it can benefit you. To some i have a very "other" view on things, which might even help, sometimes, occasionally...

 

Anyways, glad to see you here friend!

Hmm, cue - as in : a thing said or done that serves as a signal to an actor or other performer to enter or to begin their speech or performance.    I do appreciate many angles.  I think more people would do better in life in general if they sought many angles!   And you have an optimism that is very inspiring and I want it to be contagious!  Give it to me!  Give me your optimism germs!!

 

4 hours ago, Cheetah said:

 

I agree with Tank.  Processing feelings with intent is very powerful.

You guys are really good at this!

 

2 hours ago, obax said:

 

You have my sword! Granted, my sword is made out of an old hockey stick and may or may not shatter into 1000 pieces upon dealing it's first serious strike, but you've got it!

 

One thing that I found really helped me when I was dealing with a lot of negativity and gloom in my life and wishing I could get back to a happier way of being was to think about what was different between now and then. It could be the smallest thing or a big habit that you've stopped doing, or maybe it's something you are doing now and didn't used to but it sucks more time than you'd like. Then, if you identify something, think about how you might try to reincorporate it into, or eliminate it from, your life. If it's something big, break it down into steps; if it's multiple things, just think about one at a time. See how that change effects other things, and build off that.

 

In the end it's often more complex than just that, but it can be a stepping-off point for other things, or just a thought exercise that gets you thinking differently about things, you never know what you'll find when delving into your own mind.

I can't hear, 'You have my sword' without dropping into "And my axe" - but the internet spoof where Gimli says, "And my SAX" and then they have him edited in with a saxophone.     But thank you!  I appreciate having ya as part of my adventuring party!    I'll tell ya, the first thing that came to mind was my excessive video gaming!   What was a covid crutch is now, I think, contributing to a harder time exiting the gloom rut.  But here we go sliding into winter when... what else is there to do?  I will have to work on some alternates.  

 

 

Okay, quick follow up on today, which is week zero, day something - whatever, lol.   

 

Food was ... not really dialed in at all today.    It's alright, I got a lot of other stuff going and felt good about that.     Even just getting this challenge put together has me feeling really good about things and I want to push that feeling into tomorrow.    I did go out on my lunch break and get 3 miles in.  2 of them were alternating run/walks and it felt really good.  I just did 30 second intervals and that got my heart up and my lungs moving without feeling so gosh dang hard that I hated it.   I also took some pretty pictures.

 

 

 

I managed to catch up on two of the prompts I'd fallen behind on.  Compass and Moon.     Compass was rushed a bit, and moon was challenging because ... ugh, didn't want to just draw a white circle, lol!

 

 

 

I am going to get into bed here now after brushing up the teeths, and try for some solid solid rest.

 

 

 

[Mr_Willes]

1 hour ago, Starpuck said:

Give me your optimism germs!!

 

I've got all kinds of other germs just waiting to be spread....

 

 

1 hour ago, Starpuck said:

I also took some pretty pictures.

 

I miss fuzzyfriend™

 

1 hour ago, Starpuck said:

So I didn't do it. 

 

I think i would actively try to think of something fun/positive that happened and tell that instead. Though you could be a much more talky person in general. Me as a bit of awkward nerd who is mainly in listening mode IRL, one of the things i consciously do is to try to make a positive conversation, or at least "contribute" to a conversation.

 

 

 

Alos, here let me help you as you forgot a mandatory thing (spoilered for size and fun)

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

[Jarric]

23 hours ago, Starpuck said:

will take a Fellowship of helpers to keep me on this path (that's your cue) too!

 

 

(I realise this reference has been made a ton already, but I couldn't resist the gif)

 

12 hours ago, Starpuck said:

moon was challenging because ... ugh, didn't want to just draw a white circle, lol!

 

Ironically, I wish I had drawn a white circle! It would have been better than not drawing anything, which is what happened for me. Still, another 10 days of prompts to play with.

[Artemis Prime]

I absolutely love using Reforging as a theme. It's got a natural bad-assery to you (much like you, dear Puck) along with all those cool renewal themes. 

 

[Cheetah]

2 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

I absolutely love using Reforging as a theme. It's got a natural bad-assery to you (much like you, dear Puck) along with all those cool renewal themes. 

 

 

I guess when you're a magic elf you can stick pieces of a sword back together by banging them with a hammer.  Sadly, real hammers don't work this way.

 

It does remind me of a funny conversation I had once.  There's a little town south of here called Pigeon Forge.  Dolly Parton is from there.  I went with some friends once, and it got me wondering where the name came from.  Was there a person, once upon a time, who was known for attempting to forge pigeons together into stronger pigeons?  Then I have a mental image of holding a pigeon with a pair of tongs in a fire until it's smoking hot, then slapping it down and wacking it with a hammer.... this is probably only funny to me, but I still laugh when I think of it.

[Artemis Prime]

17 minutes ago, Cheetah said:

 

I guess when you're a magic elf you can stick pieces of a sword back together by banging them with a hammer.  Sadly, real hammers don't work this way.

 

Maybe that's why Elrond looks so stern. "That's not how you reforge something. Give me that sword before you destroy a priceless artifact!"

[starpuck]

On 10/20/2021 at 12:31 AM, Mr_Willes said:

 

I've got all kinds of other germs just waiting to be spread....

 

 

I miss fuzzyfriend™

 

I think i would actively try to think of something fun/positive that happened and tell that instead. Though you could be a much more talky person in general. Me as a bit of awkward nerd who is mainly in listening mode IRL, one of the things i consciously do is to try to make a positive conversation, or at least "contribute" to a conversation.

 

Alos, here let me help you as you forgot a mandatory thing (spoilered for size and fun)

  Hide contents

 

 

 

 

 

Heeee, hiii  Willes!!!

 

 

These are all really good ideas.   Thank you also for the Sax video hehehe.    Soooo gooooooood.  Always want to watch it.

 

On 10/20/2021 at 11:14 AM, Jarric said:

 

 

(I realise this reference has been made a ton already, but I couldn't resist the gif)

Ironically, I wish I had drawn a white circle! It would have been better than not drawing anything, which is what happened for me. Still, another 10 days of prompts to play with.

It's a solid gif.  I'll take duplicates!

I decided to just get to the other prompts as I can... even combining a few if it makes sense.    No pressure, and it gives me extra days to keep art up.

 

9 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

I absolutely love using Reforging as a theme. It's got a natural bad-assery to you (much like you, dear Puck) along with all those cool renewal themes. 

 

Thank you!!!  I was feeling a bit like it was going to help with motivation.  Story telling always hypes me to DO, so it works.   And gosh, thanks for the compliment.

 

7 hours ago, Cheetah said:

 

I guess when you're a magic elf you can stick pieces of a sword back together by banging them with a hammer.  Sadly, real hammers don't work this way.

 

It does remind me of a funny conversation I had once.  There's a little town south of here called Pigeon Forge.  Dolly Parton is from there.  I went with some friends once, and it got me wondering where the name came from.  Was there a person, once upon a time, who was known for attempting to forge pigeons together into stronger pigeons?  Then I have a mental image of holding a pigeon with a pair of tongs in a fire until it's smoking hot, then slapping it down and wacking it with a hammer.... this is probably only funny to me, but I still laugh when I think of it.

There is a Pigeon Forge Indiana??   Because I know the one in Tennessee nearing the Smokies... but huh!   This image IS hilarious.  As is the idea of a bunch of pigeons, with their quirky head ticks, pecking around miniature forge and bellows.

 

7 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

Maybe that's why Elrond looks so stern. "That's not how you reforge something. Give me that sword before you destroy a priceless artifact!"

Bwuahahah hilarious!

 

 

Thursday Update

I have not gotten my eating ship out of the muck and mire.  It's still wedged in the very not good waters.   I have to get it right, and I am worried because I have a lunch date and Halloween party this weekend on Saturday.   I could play it smart?  Pre plan my approach?   Regular breakfast.  Decent lunch with my friend while we watch Critical Role's new campaign start together, then getting ready for the party and heading out.  

 

I've spent a large portion of the past few weeks shopping online for things I need for the costume.  A pirate tiefling.   Huzzah!   I did get some exercise on Monday (yard work and room rearranging) and on Tuesday I did a 3 mile run/walk, Wed was a strength day and today - nothing but a run to Target for costume stuff.    I did a few arts this week, I think 2 days so far, but I fell behind on prompts so did a couple each day.

 

I honestly have not bad mouthed anyone since I made this thread.   I know there will be harder days on this, but for now, even just focusing on what I am trying to do has made a ton of difference.   It's really got me thinking I can do something with this, which is awesome!!

 

Still need to set up the bullet journal so I can track the goals better.  Should be able to do that tomorrow since the costume stuff is all ordered and nothing more to be done with it.

 

Thanks all for checking in with the support!  It feels great to have my Fellowship lining up!   Here are the recent Inktober thingies.

 

Combined "Sprout" and "Fuzzy"  - side note on fuzzy; during my run on Tuesday, I saw like 3 Wooly Bear caterpillars on my run - also sometimes called Fuzzy Bears - which have some old wives tales business about predicting the harshness of the coming winter.

 

"Pressure"  - this is from days ago, and I just couldn't think what to draw for this prompt.   That's when it came to me...

 

(Pic of the real life inspiration for the fuzzy)

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

27 minutes ago, Starpuck said:

 

I honestly have not bad mouthed anyone since I made this thread.   I know there will be harder days on this, but for now, even just focusing on what I am trying to do has made a ton of difference.   It's really got me thinking I can do something with this, which is awesome!!

I'm really proud of you Puck. You already are doing something with this, and it's working. 

[Jarric]

7 hours ago, Starpuck said:

Pressure"  - this is from days ago, and I just couldn't think what to draw for this prompt.   That's when it came to me...

 

Wooow, this is really good! I love that interpretation of the prompt.

[Cheetah]

9 hours ago, Starpuck said:

There is a Pigeon Forge Indiana??

 

No, I meant the one in the Smokies.

 

9 hours ago, Starpuck said:

I can do

 

[Ranger Hal]

14 hours ago, Starpuck said:

(Pic of the real life inspiration for the fuzzy)

That's so interesting. The ones I've seen in my area have a much smaller red stripe.

[starpuck]

14 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm really proud of you Puck. You already are doing something with this, and it's working. 

Thanks Tank!   It's always awesome when you get your Shepard Book to smile at you proudly!  

 

7 hours ago, Jarric said:

 

Wooow, this is really good! I love that interpretation of the prompt.

Haha, thanks!  It just felt so fitting.  

 

5 hours ago, Cheetah said:

 

No, I meant the one in the Smokies.

 

 

WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN!

 

3 minutes ago, Ranger Hal said:

That's so interesting. The ones I've seen in my area have a much smaller red stripe.

Ooooh, do you live somewhere that gets hard winters typically?  I think we should do data on this for this winter!  You rate your winter based off your red stripe pillers, and I'll base mine off my guys!

[Ranger Hal]

7 minutes ago, Starpuck said:

Ooooh, do you live somewhere that gets hard winters typically?  I think we should do data on this for this winter!  You rate your winter based off your red stripe pillers, and I'll base mine off my guys!

Not really. Winters are usually cool and wet. We might get snow once or twice a year, but it tends to melt within a few days. Data is good. Let's do it!

[Artemis Prime]

15 hours ago, Starpuck said:

which have some old wives tales business about predicting the harshness of the coming winter.

 

 I see these around my place all the time, but they always have different sized stripes. I guess just like human meteorologists they have trouble agreeing. Saw one little guy the other day that didn't have any stripe at all. 😱 Really hope he isn't right.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Starpuck said:

Thanks Tank!   It's always awesome when you get your Shepard Book to smile at you proudly!  

 

[WhiteGhost]

On 10/20/2021 at 11:54 AM, Starpuck said:

the first thing that came to mind was my excessive video gaming!   What was a covid crutch is now, I think, contributing to a harder time exiting the gloom rut.  But here we go sliding into winter when... what else is there to do?

I feel you so hard on this.  I am pretty sure I have spent more time in Tamriel than the real world over the last month

[starpuck]

4 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

I feel you so hard on this.  I am pretty sure I have spent more time in Tamriel than the real world over the last month

Yeah, I've been playing Hades and well... my bad die rolls in D&D seem to translate to the worst RNG luck.    I am having the worst luck with the game based on random drops. 😛

  At least Tamriel is beautiful!!

 

 

Friday wrap up.

Food - not the best.   I had a root beer float, which was HUGE.  Could have been smaller.   Dinner was Raising Canes awesome chicken tender dinner that I've been craving for a week and I ate the shit out of it.    I will do better ... Sunday.  I'd say tomorrow, but outing with friend and party does not set me up for success.   On the flip side - the costume is hard to sit, walk, breathe in ... so maybe I won't eat too much!

 

I did some art today.   Was happy with how it turned out.  Prompt was "open".

 

Also put on the whole costume, minus the body paint and make up.   Really tickled pink about how the tail I bought from Etsy, ended up being the right color for the wig I got from Amazon, and then how the pirate sash I last minute ordered really tied it all together.

 

 

 

Now it's a really late sleep.   Then wake up, breakfast, a little ESO, pack up and head to friends, watch Critical Role, get costumes on and head to party!

Woot woot!

 

[Cheetah]

Have fun!