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Oh so pretty!! How do you resist the parkour urges? :D If you do? :D 

 

Re: environment is important: So true! I think one can also see this small scale with movement classes versus training at home - it's much easier to be motivated and give your best when there are other people around who are also motivated and trying their best. 

Are you planning to relocate "for real" now? Or still trying out the nomad life and see where you like it best? :)

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Seville is awesome! Do the horse drawn carriage tour that starts at the cathedral, it's a lot if fun and as part of the tour you drive through the plaza the used for exterior shots of the Naboo palace in attack of the clones.

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I think it is a necessity that you post daily updates of your life. It is cold, and dark here, and I'm super struggling with having any motivation, so I need to live vicariously through you.😉

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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On 11/16/2021 at 11:46 AM, Elastigirl said:

You should take up geocaching. It seems like we are always finding the "fun" paths🙂

Seconding this. Geocaching is full of comical misadventures.

 

8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

It’s much more open and has more of an artsy vibe and even though it started to rain for the first time I just feel better here. It makes me realize that 1) I really do need to relocate properly and 2) for me the environment really is crucial. Both people and physical environment and digital environment. This is hardly something unique but I think for me it’s maybe extra important to have the right sort of external stimulation, and sunlight and also space to move, otherwise I just withdraw. If I had more willpower/discipline/adulting capability and was less impulsive maybe it wouldn’t be such a problem, but alas. 😛

That makes a lot of sense. The people around you, even if you don't know them, set your mental baseline for "normal". So if the people you see are all out and having fun, you will be more inspired to do that too. If you hear grumpiness or negativity around you, you may gravitate towards that way of thinking without even realizing or seeing it as a problem. What do you mean by digital environment though?

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8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

This is hardly something unique but I think for me it’s maybe extra important to have the right sort of external stimulation, and sunlight and also space to move, otherwise I just withdraw. If I had more willpower/discipline/adulting capability and was less impulsive maybe it wouldn’t be such a problem, but alas. 😛

 

Whoa there. Did you really just say, "if only I tried harder, my mental health would be better"?

 

That is not how it works. It's also the opposite of very good advise you've been giving various Nerds around here for a long time, so if you are not applying that to yourself, you may need to start investigating why that is, and what needs to happen to remove the obstacles for letting you apply it to your own situation.

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32

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On 11/20/2021 at 2:04 PM, Epsilonte said:

Oh so pretty!! How do you resist the parkour urges? :D If you do? :D 

 

Re: environment is important: So true! I think one can also see this small scale with movement classes versus training at home - it's much easier to be motivated and give your best when there are other people around who are also motivated and trying their best. 

Are you planning to relocate "for real" now? Or still trying out the nomad life and see where you like it best? :)

By not wanting to get immediately kicked out. 😄


Yep, exactly. When I didn’t have classes last year everything fell apart… Though it can also backfire, like it did for me with climbing and I ended up constantly injured instead. 😛

I think so? Don’t know where yet, but I see little point in staying in Finland if it’s making me miserable 9 months a year. Especially now that my friends are getting to the breeding stage of life. But I’m going to spend some time testing out a few places first. 

 

On 11/20/2021 at 3:17 PM, Harriet said:

Ooooh lovely. I want to visit.

Would recommend. 🙂
 

On 11/20/2021 at 3:19 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Seville is awesome! Do the horse drawn carriage tour that starts at the cathedral, it's a lot if fun and as part of the tour you drive through the plaza the used for exterior shots of the Naboo palace in attack of the clones.

Hmmm I’d rather not, I don’t know how the horses are treated but I’m not convinced cities are particularly good environments for them.
 

22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I think it is a necessity that you post daily updates of your life. It is cold, and dark here, and I'm super struggling with having any motivation, so I need to live vicariously through you.😉

I’m afraid most days are thoroughly unexciting as I still have to work. 😛 But I’ll try! Though I’d like to engage more, I feel like me mostly lurking is the worst of both worlds, i.e. I still do the same amount of scrolling but without the benefits… 
 

18 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

That makes a lot of sense. The people around you, even if you don't know them, set your mental baseline for "normal". So if the people you see are all out and having fun, you will be more inspired to do that too. If you hear grumpiness or negativity around you, you may gravitate towards that way of thinking without even realizing or seeing it as a problem. What do you mean by digital environment though?

Yep. Which also makes me think about my own interactions…

 

Boundaries can be a bit blurry, but it can for example be something like using website blockers bc I can’t control myself otherwise. It can be the content I’m following and how it makes me feel, though I’m pretty good at aggressively culling feeds. It can also be which devices I’m using, e.g. using a laptop vs desktop. I’m a lot more likely to say binge watch shows on my laptop. It can also be whether I’m playing music or not. It happens quite frequently that I feel super lazy or listless and then I realise it’s because it’s been too quiet around me and as soon as I put on the right tune suddenly I want to move! 

 

18 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Whoa there. Did you really just say, "if only I tried harder, my mental health would be better"?

 

That is not how it works. It's also the opposite of very good advise you've been giving various Nerds around here for a long time, so if you are not applying that to yourself, you may need to start investigating why that is, and what needs to happen to remove the obstacles for letting you apply it to your own situation.

LOL kind of. 😄Though I don’t think I explained it well… It’s more like… oh I know! I remember yonks ago @Elastigirl posted about four personality types (I can’t remember from where though!), which is iffy at best, I know, but whatever. Each type had its own list of “tricks” that can help habit formation, e.g. some people like charts, some rewards, some schedules/timers, some need external accountability etc. Now three of the types had loads of tools listed, but I belong to the fourth Rebel category which had almost zero tools… Basically it boiled down to that I have to feel like it in the moment… Which is unfortunately not wrong, but it just makes it hard when the mood or energy is not there. If I were a different type of less chaotic person haha maybe it wouldn’t be such a problem as I’d have more tools available (not to say that it’d make it easier!) but so far none of the classic tools have really worked. So I think I have to be more mindful about my environment so that it encourages me to move etc or at least so it doesn’t drain me of energy/mood like Scandi winters do. Does that make more sense?

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19 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

Seconding this. Geocaching is full of comical misadventures.

I already got a dose of this. 🙈I went out exploring yesterday, and one of the caches was in front of a museum with a looot of foot traffic. I was walking back and forth trying to discreetly look for the cache, but the only thing I could find was this small plastic box in the window behind some bars.  I didn’t think it was the cache, but then again I don’t know what to look for so I thought I’d try and open it. It doesn’t open on the side, but it has a button of sorts so I press it just in case it’s a pressure thing. Aaaand I hear a buzzer go off inside the museum! Oops! 😄I immediately wander off pretending nothing happened, but man that must’ve looked super dodgy haha.

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1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

Though I don’t think I explained it well… It’s more like… oh I know! I remember yonks ago @Elastigirl posted about four personality types (I can’t remember from where though!), which is iffy at best, I know, but whatever. Each type had its own list of “tricks” that can help habit formation, e.g. some people like charts, some rewards, some schedules/timers, some need external accountability etc. Now three of the types had loads of tools listed, but I belong to the fourth Rebel category which had almost zero tools… Basically it boiled down to that I have to feel like it in the moment… Which is unfortunately not wrong, but it just makes it hard when the mood or energy is not there. If I were a different type of less chaotic person haha maybe it wouldn’t be such a problem as I’d have more tools available (not to say that it’d make it easier!) but so far none of the classic tools have really worked. So I think I have to be more mindful about my environment so that it encourages me to move etc or at least so it doesn’t drain me of energy/mood like Scandi winters do. Does that make more sense?

 

...not really. Now it sounds an awful lot like, "if I wasn't who I am I'd be a better person", and I don't think that's what you meant either. 

 

I'm curious about why the Rebel personality type seem so incapable compared to the other types? Are Rebels not able to learn commitment, or focus, or any kind of mental discipline at all, ever? 

 

Some context: I've spent a lot of my career reading and listening to drivel (for lack of a better word) about how different personality types learn in different ways, not to mention the different "learning styles" that were super popular until they were debunked by actual science, and behind all the smoke screens and buzz words, what study after study eventually started to show was that it doesn't matter what someone's personality is, or what their preferred communication style is... an adult who is given training by someone who is genuinely trying to teach them something, will always learn that something, as long as the trainer does their job of making it clear to the adult in question why they should be interested in learning anything at all. 

 

So when you say, "the fourth Rebel category which had almost zero tools", the first thing that comes to my mind is that someone who fit into that category and who had a lot of money, and who wanted to feel better about their own inability to get shit done the way they saw others do, went out and purchased a study so they could have "proof" that it wasn't their fault. ;) 

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2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I already got a dose of this. 🙈I went out exploring yesterday, and one of the caches was in front of a museum with a looot of foot traffic. I was walking back and forth trying to discreetly look for the cache, but the only thing I could find was this small plastic box in the window behind some bars.  I didn’t think it was the cache, but then again I don’t know what to look for so I thought I’d try and open it. It doesn’t open on the side, but it has a button of sorts so I press it just in case it’s a pressure thing. Aaaand I hear a buzzer go off inside the museum! Oops! 😄I immediately wander off pretending nothing happened, but man that must’ve looked super dodgy haha.

All that excitement and you didn't even find the cache!

 

2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I remember yonks ago @Elastigirl posted about four personality types (I can’t remember from where though!), which is iffy at best, I know, but whatever. Each type had its own list of “tricks” that can help habit formation, e.g. some people like charts, some rewards, some schedules/timers, some need external accountability etc. Now three of the types had loads of tools listed, but I belong to the fourth Rebel category which had almost zero tools… Basically it boiled down to that I have to feel like it in the moment… Which is unfortunately not wrong, but it just makes it hard when the mood or energy is not there.

I know this set of personality types. I come up as Questioner leaning Rebel. :)

 

Here's the thing about personality tests. They are meant to be a tool to help you understand yourself better and grow, not a box that limits you. To help you be mindful of your natural strengths and, maybe more importantly, your natural weaknesses, how your thought patterns work, and so on. When you treat them with fatalistic determinism, you're doing it wrong. Compare: "I'm an INTJ so it's okay for me to be rude. That's just who I am and will always be, and people need to deal with it." and "I'm an INTJ so my natural way seems rude to some people. This is something I should be aware of and learn to soften it when that is important to me."

 

They're also descriptive, not prescriptive. Any list on a website with tips and tricks is only going to be suggestions that may or may not work for you. What is only a minor problem to one Rebel might be an enormous obstacle for another. The value of the test comes in helping you identify your obstacles. I think your recognizing that environment plays an important role for you in your mental health and motivation and working to change that for the better is a good strategy which uses your Rebel desire for freedom to help, not hinder you. But "become a digital nomad for a while" is unlikely to show up on a list.

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40 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

..not really. Now it sounds an awful lot like, "if I wasn't who I am I'd be a better person", and I don't think that's what you meant either. 

Oops.😄Things are making a lot more sense in my head, and it’s actually not all that negative! Well, ok I do get frustrated with myself, especially on days when I accidentally waste all my energy on work, or when I completely misjudge the time or don’t get organised and miss everything as a result. That can get quite disappointing and then I wish I could like just set a stupid alarm like “normal” people, or stop getting distracted. But the flip side of that is being spontaneous and not stressing out when everything goes to shit. 😛 There are always pros and cons!

 

40 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

I’m curious about why the Rebel personality type seem so incapable compared to the other types? Are Rebels not able to learn commitment, or focus, or any kind of mental discipline at all, ever? 

On the contrary, because fewer fucks are given towards other people’s expectations it’s actually easier in some ways to for example go all in on some big impulsive project or pick up new weird hobbies or pack my bags and go travelling with 30 hours notice. 🙂And I’m fully capable of doing all the things, the struggle is with forcing or bribing or coaxing myself to do them when I don’t feel like it…  But the things do happen, they just require the right mindset/environment. Sustaining it can be trickier though, well, unless it becomes an obsession. Either way, I only think it’s negative when coupled with other mental health issues, like getting incapacitated for weeks/months periodically throughout the year as that can really kill the momentum. I wouldn’t want to change my personality though, for better and worse it’s who I am. 😛 There are many ways to skin the cat and I just need to get more creative in figuring out those ways. 

 

Btw I’ve no idea if any if this aligns with the personality type at all, probably not, I really can’t remember and it’s 100% unscientific drivel anyway. 😉 

 

40 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

So when you say, "the fourth Rebel category which had almost zero tools", the first thing that comes to my mind is that someone who fit into that category and who had a lot of money, and who wanted to feel better about their own inability to get shit done the way they saw others do, went out and purchased a study so they could have "proof" that it wasn't their fault. ;)

Nah they’d hire people to do the boring stuff. 😛And either way it’s not meant as cop out, it’s more recognising that some things just won’t work however much I’d like them to. I’m still responsible for my life though. 🤷‍♀️

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21 minutes ago, juliebarkley said:

Here's the thing about personality tests. They are meant to be a tool to help you understand yourself better and grow, not a box that limits you. To help you be mindful of your natural strengths and, maybe more importantly, your natural weaknesses, how your thought patterns work, and so on. When you treat them with fatalistic determinism, you're doing it wrong. Compare: "I'm an INTJ so it's okay for me to be rude. That's just who I am and will always be, and people need to deal with it." and "I'm an INTJ so my natural way seems rude to some people. This is something I should be aware of and learn to soften it when that is important to me."

Yeah I really don’t take them seriously at all. Especially since for me I can flip many of the results 180 depending on context, such as mood or work vs free time. 😛

 

21 minutes ago, juliebarkley said:

The value of the test comes in helping you identify your obstacles

This didn’t even do that haha. I think I just remember this one because I’ve tried the lists of habit tools and none of them have stuck and it’s frustrating (and sometimes it does make  me feel like crap coming here to a goal forum when I’m constantly failing at “everything”) and there were no ideas except “go with the flow” kinda thing.

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Anyways, I’m not sure how this turned into a bunch of navel gazing, that wasn’t my intent. 😛 The main takeaway is that I’m going to leave Sevilla early and head back to the sea and the warmth. Sevilla seems like a lovely city and all, and I love the colourful buildings and the orange trees everywhere! But I want to be somewhere more open and I miss the sea!
 

Feel free to mock me, but I’m now officially old and going to the Canaries. 🙈 To make it worse I’ll be too close for comfort to my boss. 😬

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1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

the struggle is with forcing or bribing or coaxing myself to do them when I don’t feel like it

 

That's a universal human struggle. There are no personalities who don't struggle with this.  ;) 

 

24 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

Anyways, I’m not sure how this turned into a bunch of navel gazing, that wasn’t my intent.

 

We can turn any topic into anything! It's our community's super power. :D 

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32

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Gretchen Rubin;The Four Tendencies.  For me, knowing it helps  when I am struggling to be motivated with something, rather than just continually being frustrated, trying to figure out what would motivate me. I think  for you, being able to just follow stuff and do things like picking up and moving is super helpful. As far as fitness goes, that method may not help you be an expert in anything, but just doing what sounds like fun at the moment will keep you active.

Mine was internal/ external motivation. I found it super helpful, but now I can't remember most of it.🙄

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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From GretchenRubin.com

I am a questioner. If it makes sense, I will follow. Which is why I have loved this season of Covid and all the nonsensical government mandates😉 Also weirdly why I think calorie counting works so well for me. I can see the data right there, and so I am less apt to argue with myself. 

  • Upholders want to know what should be done.
  • Questioners want justifications.
  • Obligers need accountability.
  • Rebels want freedom to do something their own way

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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34 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

From GretchenRubin.com

 

Ah, her. Okay. She's the one with The Happiness Project.

 

And after reading that book, I'm not taking anything of hers seriously. That thing is a study in privileged obliviousness from start to finish.

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32

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2 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Ah, her. Okay. She's the one with The Happiness Project.

 

And after reading that book, I'm not taking anything of hers seriously. That thing is a study in privileged obliviousness from start to finish.

Interesting. I rather enjoyed the book. Not that I totally bought into it all. I think however, you can totally ignore all her other books and be just fine.😃

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

That's a universal human struggle. There are no personalities who don't struggle with this.  ;) 

 

 

We can turn any topic into anything! It's our community's super power. :D 

Yes that’s why I said it’s not easy for anyone. But that’s still missing the point…

 

😄

True, but sometimes a discussion is not actually needed. 😉

 

14 hours ago, Epsilonte said:

Sounds nice :D 

Is your boss living there?

Semi officially yes. 😛

 

13 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

And after reading that book, I'm not taking anything of hers seriously. That thing is a study in privileged obliviousness from start to finish.

Hate to break it to you but we’re exactly the target demographic. 😜And if some people find it helpful is it really that terrible? She’s not claiming to be a scientist or even science communicator. Keep in mind I haven’t read any of her stuff, it just seemed like an unnecessary amount of hate here. Kinda regret even mentioning it when the whole thing wasn’t even about the book, but my own experience. I can just the same find papers on habit formation and it’s not going to change the fact that I tried them but they didn’t stick. Even for things that I want to do and enjoy and have zero reason not to do.

 

14 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Also weirdly why I think calorie counting works so well for me. I can see the data right there, and so I am less apt to argue with myself. 

Makes sense. I love seeing the data too, but then I’m like I’m going to do whatever I want anyway. 😛

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17 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Anyways, I’m not sure how this turned into a bunch of navel gazing, that wasn’t my intent. 😛 The main takeaway is that I’m going to leave Sevilla early and head back to the sea and the warmth. Sevilla seems like a lovely city and all, and I love the colourful buildings and the orange trees everywhere! But I want to be somewhere more open and I miss the sea!
 

Feel free to mock me, but I’m now officially old and going to the Canaries. 🙈 To make it worse I’ll be too close for comfort to my boss. 😬

 

Who would mock you for aging, which is in fact the achievement of not dying before your next birthday? Just rub some soothing ointment into those creaky joints and enjoy the sun for me.

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Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the viking

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On 11/22/2021 at 7:57 AM, Mad Hatter said:

Keep in mind I haven’t read any of her stuff, it just seemed like an unnecessary amount of hate here. Kinda regret even mentioning it when the whole thing wasn’t even about the book, but my own experience.

I wondered about the strong negative reaction too. I haven't read the Happiness Project book (I did read the Four Tendencies one and thought it was okay), so I looked it up on Goodreads. Oof. The one-star reviews. Many people seem upset that she's well off in many ways (wealthy, husband, kids, etc.), then isn't happy enough but wants to tell them how to be happy as only an entitled rich white woman can (ie. a lot of readers are materialistically equating wealth with happiness). And also the book is shallow, self-centred, and doesn't bring anything to the table that isn't done better elsewhere. Honestly, it seems like a mix of genuine criticism and envy/hatred directed at the author. Either way, I don't think anyone's missing out on much by giving it a pass.

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38 minutes ago, juliebarkley said:

I wondered about the strong negative reaction too. I haven't read the Happiness Project book (I did read the Four Tendencies one and thought it was okay), so I looked it up on Goodreads. Oof. The one-star reviews. Many people seem upset that she's well off in many ways (wealthy, husband, kids, etc.), then isn't happy enough but wants to tell them how to be happy as only an entitled rich white woman can (ie. a lot of readers are materialistically equating wealth with happiness). And also the book is shallow, self-centred, and doesn't bring anything to the table that isn't done better elsewhere. Honestly, it seems like a mix of genuine criticism and envy/hatred directed at the author. Either way, I don't think anyone's missing out on much by giving it a pass.

 

I completely agree with your conclusion about the book, but not necessarily with the conclusion about the reviews. 

 

I think a lot of the 1-star reviews were written by people who have real life problems, and who were looking for help on how to deal with them and find happiness despite life being very difficult. What they got was navel-gazing by a woman who managed to reach her 40s without once being forced to do any self-reflection at all. She is blown away by insights that I and everyone else who were in the book club with me had during the first month of living on our own for the first time, and we were honestly startled at the kind of self-discoveries she made during this year... and seems to believe were somehow remarkable. Anyone who has made a difficult choice at some point in their life has all of the insights she spells out in The Happiness Project. One of the book club members sarcastically commented that based on the discoveries Rubin makes during her project, the book should have been titled "how I finally grew up". (No, that was not me. I was less restrained. ;) ) 

 

To give an example, in the chapter about money, she talks about struggling with learning how to stop taking money for granted and the challenge of learning to actually pay attention to what she buys rather than just spend thoughtlessly, and she talks about these problems as if everyone has them and that's what having "money problems" really means. That is the sort of thing that rubs people the wrong way, especially people whose problem with money is that if they had more of it, trying to make sure it was enough for everything they genuinely need wouldn't occupy their every waking thought.

 

I think more than anything else, the resentment and anger in so many 1-star reviews of this book comes from how very obvious it is that the author has never struggled a day in her life, but because she did list exercises in self-reflection, she now knows what struggle is and how to overcome it.  The tone of the entire book is also very smug, and often self-congratulatory, so yes, I agree that criticism that the book is shallow and self-centered is spot on, and no she doesn't impart anything mind-blowing that isn't done better by anyone with more life experience than Rubin has. :) 

 

On 11/22/2021 at 5:57 AM, Mad Hatter said:

Hate to break it to you but we’re exactly the target demographic. 


Between the book and the blog connected to it, I was left with the impression that bored mothers with too much money and free time, are the target demographic ;) 

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32

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19 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

(No, that was not me. I was less restrained. ;) ) 

This does not surprise me. :D Fair enough. I have only the reviews to go on.

 

6 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

She is blown away by insights that I and everyone else who were in the book club with me had during the first month of living on our own for the first time, and we were honestly startled at the kind of self-discoveries she made during this year... and seems to believe were somehow remarkable.

8 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

The tone of the entire book is also very smug, and often self-congratulatory

These were by far the most common criticism, phrased in various ways, as I read farther down the reviews. There were ... glimpses ... of this tendency to self-absorption in The Four Tendencies as well, now I'm thinking of it.

 

Personally, I think the best way to cultivate happiness is to appreciate what you have, to try to love and help others, and to seek meaning and self-improvement through a religious/philosophical tradition and genuine, honest reflection. Stuff like journalling and meditation probably don't hurt either. Not very saleable though. Darn, there goes my chance to be a best-selling author. :P

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