SkyGirl Posted November 7, 2021 Report Share Posted November 7, 2021 The bright autumn sun colored the forest a shimmering rainbow of oranges, reds and yellows, curtains of leaves floating and tumbling down around me as I walked slowly down the path toward town. And I saw none of them, because I was in the throes of the pounding panic that beset me every week on this miserable assignment. "Sky, think of all the opportunities this will open up for you," my husband had said earnestly, holding my hands as if to help me feel how strongly he felt about his words. "There's so much you can see, so many new places you can go, whenever you want. We can help more people instead of relying on them. You'll be even more independent and it'll be such a confidence boost. I really think this is something important for you to do." I didn't know how to explain to him the steel-cold shots of fear that gripped my stomach at the thought of trying this again. I knew he was right and I wanted everything he said - yet I could think of very little I would rather do less. Every weekly lesson felt like the culmination of every failed exam at the Temple, every scolding from my parents, every wound from the Elder and every bungled work assignment, all wrapped up in one miserable hour. But I was Sky Elvenword Nobleheart; and I was brave. I did not run away from hard things; I did not let fear stop me from my goals and I never said no to an adventure. So I swallowed hard and tried to hide the panicky tears in the back of my throat as I said quietly: "I'll try, Eamon." I wrapped my cloak a little tighter around my shivering body and hoped no one in town would see how pale my skin was. I had learned after the first lesson to keep the runes on my arms carefully covered with long sleeves or strips of cloth - my Dark ice powers shone like beacons out of every exposed rune the first time my terror levels shot through the roof. And considering how close I'd come to a fiery crash last week, keeping those runes covered seemed like wisdom for every lesson going forward. Much too soon, I came over the dreaded last hill and saw the stables and open field ahead of me. I was right on time; the other students were opening the pens and greeting their mounts for the day. But I was not learning to ride a horse. I was learning to ride a dragon. I'm not a Dragonrider. I'm not a Dragonrider. I tried to drown out the refrain beating like an ice storm in my brain, but it matched my footsteps toward my assigned pen. I've gotten along fine all these years without this. It's not worth it. I don't need it. I'm not good at it. I can't do it. I don't want to - A gentle huff from the pen at my elbow made me jump, and I realized I couldn't stall any longer. Slowly, I turned to face the slender white dragon who sat quietly in her cage, her ten-foot tail curled primly around her four graceful white feet, her long neck bent to bring her intelligent dark eyes down to my level. She seemed almost amused by my shaking and heavy breathing. I fleetingly wondered, not for the first time, how much these creatures could understand about us. "Hello, Tianlong," I stammered, fumbling with the latch on the gate. She waited quietly until I shook it off and pulled open the door, and I held my breath as she gracefully unfolded herself and slipped out into the grass. She was too well-trained to try to escape, even though it took me three tries to get the harness on her neck and the saddle on her shoulders, my hands shook so badly. Once again, I saw her glance at me with a look in her eyes that was almost amused. "How we feelin' today, Missus?" The teenage boy teaching the lessons, Erkus, stopped by and doffed his hood respectfully. "A little nervous," I admitted. There was no point in hiding it; I let a strap slip through my fingers the moment I spoke. "'Ow, now, ye'll be just fine, you wait an' see," he said confidently, and patted Tianlong's neck affectionately. "This 'ere is the finest dragon I ever took off an Eastern trader. Almost as smart as our Western dragons, she is. Just trust 'er, trust yerself, an' ye'll get along just fine." He'd said the same thing the last few times, so I nodded politely and focused on getting her saddle strapped snugly around her muscular body. I didn't trust Tianlong, and I didn't trust myself, and we probably were not going to get along at all. "Owright, today we're takin' a short flight out to the hills an' back, same as we did two weeks ago," Erkus hollered to me and the other (much younger) riders shuffling nervously. "We'll be practicin' the turns, so remember how to use the reins an' shift yer body weight. Remember: Trust yer dragons. They know more'n ye think they do." My mouth was too dry to swallow against the nausea rising in my throat, so I just tried to focus on steadying my rapid breathing as I shakily climbed up into the saddle and settled onto Tianlong's back, strapping my own safety harness around my thighs. The dragon flicked her tail and stood up, ready to take off into the frigid, empty heights yet again. I sucked in a deep breath. I was a Ranger. I was a Lightbearer. I was a Protector. And now I was going to be a Dragonrider. 4 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted November 7, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2021 Hello friends! I didn't mean to be so late joining the challenge, but - I am late, and I am here. Tonight I'm just sketching broad goals because it's bedtime; I will break them down more in the next day or two. So far my health and fitness goals are pretty much in a shambles. I'm eating a lot more than I'm moving, so I'm gaining weight fairly quickly; and while I definitely needed to gain weight after being borderline underweight for much of the pandemic, I would really rather be in control of my weight rather than just sitting back (literally) and watching it happen. I also don't feel my best without regular exercise, mentally or physically. I'm still having sleep / nightmare issues due to all the upheaval of getting married, and I need to rebuild some self-care habits for my brain as well as my body. The Big Thing, though, is my dragonriding - by which I mean, finally getting my drivers license. ❤️ I am in my early 30's and never learned to drive - partly from circumstances, but mainly from fear and anxiety. My husband is helping me drive a little bit every day, in neighborhoods I know fairly well; but while my actual driving is getting better, my anxiety is getting much worse. I almost wrecked the car a couple of weeks ago, and now every time I take that route I get distressingly high anxiety about it. That, in turn, has bled over into rising anxiety about the anxiety about driving in general. The only way I know how to tame this fear is by gently continuing to expose myself to it and building my confidence - and that is really hard and taking a lot out of me. I need to find my "why" for this and let that motivate me to keep going even when it's hard. And now it's bedtime, so more tomorrow! ❤️ 6 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Ranger Hal Posted November 8, 2021 Report Share Posted November 8, 2021 I love the way you have framed learning to drive as dragonriding! I hope that your anxiety gets less with more practice. 2 Quote Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, Current Walk to Mordor: 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 9, 2021 Report Share Posted November 9, 2021 Hugs friend. You're awesome. It's ok to have anxiety. It isn't fun, and it makes everything more difficult, but it isn't good or bad, it just is. 2 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Loveable_Bouncer Posted November 9, 2021 Report Share Posted November 9, 2021 Whoot for having the support to surpass your anxiety! Nice part about you starting to drive, you don't have all the "pressures" of getting that drivers license fast as possible... More of getting further and further on getting there! Here to cheer you on! 1 Quote Larger than Average Fairy Druid Level 1 10 STR / 8 DEX / 10 CON / 13 INT / 13 WIS / 17 CHA (DnD Stats) Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted November 9, 2021 Report Share Posted November 9, 2021 Sky! It's so wonderful to see your challenge pop up! I'm sorry about the anxiety over driving. If it helps, I really, really hated learning to drive. I would get so stressed and overwhelmed with it all, I wasn't sure I would ever pass. But I did and I have no doubt whatsoever that you can to, especially with your husband in your corner! Congratulations once again by the way! Be gentle with yourself. This is hard, anxiety makes it a thousand times harder. But you've got this. I know you have. 1 Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted November 13, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2021 On 11/8/2021 at 3:21 PM, Ranger Hal said: I love the way you have framed learning to drive as dragonriding! I hope that your anxiety gets less with more practice. Thanks friend! I had the inspiration late one night after getting home from driving in the dark (my least favorite) - I can't wait to see what stories come out of this new adventure. So glad you're here! On 11/8/2021 at 8:14 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Hugs friend. You're awesome. It's ok to have anxiety. It isn't fun, and it makes everything more difficult, but it isn't good or bad, it just is. Thank you, my friend, and I'm so glad you're here. I do need that reminder. On 11/8/2021 at 10:04 PM, Fairly_Bouncer said: Whoot for having the support to surpass your anxiety! Nice part about you starting to drive, you don't have all the "pressures" of getting that drivers license fast as possible... More of getting further and further on getting there! Here to cheer you on! That's a great point and I appreciate it! ❤️ I'm so glad you're here - I'll take the cheers! On 11/9/2021 at 1:38 PM, Rhovaniel said: Sky! It's so wonderful to see your challenge pop up! I'm sorry about the anxiety over driving. If it helps, I really, really hated learning to drive. I would get so stressed and overwhelmed with it all, I wasn't sure I would ever pass. But I did and I have no doubt whatsoever that you can to, especially with your husband in your corner! Congratulations once again by the way! Be gentle with yourself. This is hard, anxiety makes it a thousand times harder. But you've got this. I know you have. Thank you so, so much, my friend - that really does help!! Shame really does exacerbate anxiety (and many other mental illnesses) and when I get stuck in the "this is easy for everyone but you, what's wrong with you" loop it becomes MUCH harder to stay focused. Knowing that's absolutely a lie and I'm not the only one struggling with this is powerful in helping me be unashamedly imperfect and determined!! Love you and so glad you're here! ❤️ 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted November 13, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2021 GOOOOOOOD MORNING FRENS It is a mega-gloomy Novemberish day outside, cold and rainy and full of lovely muted fall colors, and I am hoping to pack as much Good Stuff into this weekend as I possibly can. I started the morning with some extra-strong coffee to try to jumpstart my digestive system (still wrestling with meal planning for both of us, and the simplest one of "just eat what Eamon eats" means too much protein for my plumbing to process promptly), then took a lovely brisk walk down to CVS to buy makeup and quickly became overwhelmed with trying to find some new deep-moisturizing face cream. I'm trying to change up my skincare routine to stay hydrated this winter, but wading through all the marketing can be tricky. (Do I need micellar water + a serum + a toner + a moisturizer + a primer before my makeup?? Or are they just messing with my insecurities again??) As is expected for someone going through a couple of major life transitions, my health and fitness routines are still in a bit of a shambles - but also, that's okay, and I'm trying to be gentle with myself too. ❤️ I've only been married / living in my new community for 2.5 months; of course I don't have a new routine / plan / social circle built up yet. I took some time this morning to do a Big Picture Inventory on what I need right now: Diet and exercise. These are their own separate project, but they're also closely linked. Eating Eamon's lean, protein-driven diet is not supporting my digestive or hormonal health; and like many newlyweds, in our busyness and exhaustion we're not exercising much at all, which means that weight management is challenging too. Like I said last challenge, gaining weight is a good thing because I was almost underweight for a lot of months of the pandemic - but I want that weight gain to be controlled, and I'd rather not just gain fat without getting back in shape. The action points for this bullet point are closely related to the ones for the next one: Anxiety. I recently started with a new therapist, which is great - my anxiety symptoms, while not as intense as they have been, are constantly at a moderate level that makes a lot of daily life challenging. Driving in a bad headspace can jack my heart rate up to the level of a cardio workout and leave me crying; mealtimes and eating are persistently difficult now and trigger low-level panic at least a couple of times a month; and after being out of therapy for a few months, I have gotten out of practice in interrupting irrational thought patterns, so it's harder to get myself out of anxious spirals. We'll see whether my new therapist suggests medication (I confess I'm feeling more ready for it lately, just from sheer weariness from the constant symptoms), but either way, doing the mind work will absolutely help. Some specific action items to work on (for both food and anxiety) include: Eat smaller meals throughout the day, rather than putting three larger meals in my stomach. This will also help with blood sugar maintenance (I've noticed that if my blood sugar crashes, my anxiety symptoms get worse). Restart my nutritionist-recommended meal plan. This will be a fairly large project since I want to minimize our family meal prep - I don't want each of us to have a completely separate meal prep routine unless we really have to. So reconciling our dietary needs, while a little overwhelming and something we've been putting off, will pay off when we finally tackle it. Get a little exercise daily. We have an exercise bike with a desktop attachment, and even though I don't care for biking much, it's something very simple I can do during the workday without any prep. We also have a gym in our building that I've been meaning to check out for a few weeks, and there are nice walking trails not far from here too. Stick with my therapy assignments. I'm the poster child for losing interest and stopping things I'm assigned in therapy, but I want to work hard and stick with it this time. I won't see my therapist again for a month due to Thanksgiving, so for that time I'm supposed to keep a thought journal. Keep a consistent daily schedule. This is coming naturally since getting married - Eamon is a very disciplined person who gets up and goes to bed at the same time every day, regardless of weekends; and I actually really like waking up early on Saturdays and having more day to work with. We also have morning devotional time daily and I love finally sticking with my Bible reading every day. Maintaining all this is Very Good. Make time for friends. Eamon is lovely, and of course I want to spend most of my time with him. But time with friends and family is very important for both of us too. Driving. Again, closely related to anxiety, but separate. I'm eligible to take my driver's test in mid-December, but right now I still have a lot of things to practice to be ready for that. I'm getting better at changing lanes and parallel parking comfortably; I haven't hit a curb or missed any turns for a few weeks; but I still need to drive on a highway and be comfortable driving at more than 35 mph. Plus, the route where I almost wrecked the car is also the route we travel every week to get to the store, and I haven't driven it in several weeks because I get very panicky about it. So I need to: Don't give up on the grocery route. The only way through that is ... well, through it. My plan is to drive it a few times during the day, when I can see better, and then tackle it again at our normal (evening) grocery time. Find and tackle steps to work up to highway driving. The highways in my are are notoriously insane. We have the worst drivers in the entire country (like, that's a statistic, not just a subjective judgment), and pretty much every time I'm riding with Eamon on the highway we get cut off, nearly hit, or stuck behind road rage or impaired driving. Plus, the speed limits are essentially arbitrary, and the flow of traffic may be as much as 20 mph over the posted speed . So ... in my present timid state, I absolutely can't just hop onto a highway and hope for the best. I'm going to work with Eamon to plot out some intermediate steps. Big Life Goals. As I also mentioned previously, we're also trying to keep an eye on the next two Big Things in our lives: Buying a house and having a baby. *cue muffled scream into pillow* Both of those require significant preparation and it's not really time to start concrete goal-making for them yet. Those goals, however, include: House: Narrow down geographic areas Figure out budget Study financing options Develop timeline Baby: Get in better shape (esp. fitness, nutrition, emotional stability) Study pregnancy, postpartum, and newborn resources so it's not all a surprise Spend time with new moms, babysit, and otherwise re-familiarize myself with small children So YEAH. It's a LOT. Like: Spoiler Obviously waaaaaaay too much to tackle in one challenge - but also, having the Big Picture in mind helps! For this month, the sub-goals I want to work on consistently are: Health: Eat smaller meals throughout the day. Restart my nutritionist-recommended meal plan. Get a little exercise daily. Stick with my therapy assignments. Keep a consistent daily schedule. Driving Dragonriding: Don't give up on the grocery route. Report on progress. Find steps to work up to highway driving. Just find, this month. Maybe try some, maybe not; but identifying them is the goal. And like last month, I may not check in as often as I like, just because of busyness in my weekly schedule. But I'll at least try to check in on weekends and once or twice during the week. 3 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted November 13, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2021 Oh and: Stay hydrated. I hate water, I hate drinking water. But I need it and I feel good when I drink it. Even if that means downing unhealthy amounts of stupidly expensive Mio flavor drops, I will work back toward my 64-ounces-a-day benchmark and go from there. 1 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted November 13, 2021 Report Share Posted November 13, 2021 Solid plan! Here to cheer you on. Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
Maggie-Miau Posted November 13, 2021 Report Share Posted November 13, 2021 Heyoo, Sky! I'm working on Driving too I like your framing it as Dragonriding! Quote Matthew 25:34-40 Link to comment
juliebarkley Posted November 14, 2021 Report Share Posted November 14, 2021 On 11/6/2021 at 10:33 PM, SkyGirl said: I am in my early 30's and never learned to drive - partly from circumstances, but mainly from fear and anxiety. I am 40 and in the same boat. My own anxiety moved driving from "it will get better with practice; I can do this" to "welp, that is extremely dangerous and getting worse, not better; it would be wisest to walk away". It's not a great situation to be in though. I'm so proud of you for fighting through it! On 11/13/2021 at 12:16 PM, SkyGirl said: As I also mentioned previously, we're also trying to keep an eye on the next two Big Things in our lives: Buying a house and having a baby. *cue muffled scream into pillow* I don't know if this will help at all, but Get Married -> Buy A House -> Have Kids is not a mandatory life path, just a common one, and not one that guarantees happiness. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a different path if that is right for you. Whether you rent or buy, you have a place to live, which is the important thing. (Not even going to touch outside pressure to have kids or I will get really angry.) If you have though about it and really truly want those things, then that's great! But if you aren't sure, I just want you to know that that is valid too. You have so much going on, lots of new and stressful things. Here to cheer for you and support you as best I can. 1 Quote Challenge archive Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted November 14, 2021 Report Share Posted November 14, 2021 On 11/13/2021 at 5:55 PM, SkyGirl said: Oh and: Stay hydrated. I hate water, I hate drinking water. But I need it and I feel good when I drink it. Even if that means downing unhealthy amounts of stupidly expensive Mio flavor drops, I will work back toward my 64-ounces-a-day benchmark and go from there. Have you experimented with putting fruit in water? Cut lemons work well, but I've used strawberries and even crushed mint as well. I have a bottle that has a inner compartment for the fruit, but often I'll just dump it all into a big jug when I want flavoured water and pour into a normal bottle, or glass. Spoiler I just realised I can't remember the last time I drank water out of a glass instead of a sports bottle Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 14, 2021 Report Share Posted November 14, 2021 To piggy back on Rho, you can also make herbal teas cold. Just get a pitcher of water and put the tea in there and let it sit for a few hours to a day, then you can drink herbal tea cold, like water, but it has flavor, not like water. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: To piggy back on Rho, you can also make herbal teas cold. Just get a pitcher of water and put the tea in there and let it sit for a few hours to a day, then you can drink herbal tea cold, like water, but it has flavor, not like water. I drink so much tea, I'm practically British, but have never done this before. 2 Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 41 minutes ago, Elastigirl said: I drink so much tea, I'm practically British, but have never done this before. Chalk it up to the different climates in which we live. I'm much more motivated to think in terms of cool drinks. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Chalk it up to the different climates in which we live. I'm much more motivated to think in terms of cool drinks. We won't even talk about Texas's habit of ruining their ice tea with all that sugar 1 Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Elastigirl said: We won't even talk about Texas's habit of ruining their ice tea with all that sugar FWIW that's more a deep South thing than a Texas thing, and I don't drink Sweet Tea. Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 4 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: FWIW that's more a deep South thing than a Texas thing, and I don't drink Sweet Tea. Interesting. When I was a child ( 100 years ago) whenever we went to Texas to visit relatives, I always had to order unsweet tea, or they gave me sweet tea, thus why I assumed Texans mostly drank sweet tea. But, that wasn't how my dad drank it, so maybe it was just a restaurant thing? Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted November 15, 2021 Report Share Posted November 15, 2021 4 hours ago, Elastigirl said: I drink so much tea, I'm practically British, but have never done this before. If it helps, I am British and I have never done this lol. I prefer my tea hot. 1 Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted November 16, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2021 On 11/13/2021 at 1:35 PM, Elastigirl said: Solid plan! Here to cheer you on. I'm so glad you're here, EG! ❤️ On 11/13/2021 at 4:16 PM, Maggie-Miau said: Heyoo, Sky! I'm working on Driving too I like your framing it as Dragonriding! That's right, I forgot you were learning too! ❤️ I'm so proud of you - this isn't easy but we are going to do it!! On 11/14/2021 at 12:44 PM, juliebarkley said: I am 40 and in the same boat. My own anxiety moved driving from "it will get better with practice; I can do this" to "welp, that is extremely dangerous and getting worse, not better; it would be wisest to walk away". It's not a great situation to be in though. I'm so proud of you for fighting through it! Big hugs to you, Julie! It can be every bit as hard to step away as it can to keep pushing, and I'm really proud of you for knowing this wasn't healthy for you. ❤️ In my case, my hangups are less about the mechanics of driving than they are about "I'm a failure because this is easy for everyone but me, they're all looking at me and thinking what a stupid driver I am, I drive as bad as a teenager when I'm an adult," that sort of thing. Mechanically I am a decent driver and improving. So as I keep gently but firmly tackling the mental demons, I am confident I'll find success. But as a fellow bus-and-Uber aficionado, it is NOT easy to live a full adult life without being able to drive, so I see the extra work you do and I'm proud of you for not letting it limit you!! On 11/14/2021 at 12:44 PM, juliebarkley said: I don't know if this will help at all, but Get Married -> Buy A House -> Have Kids is not a mandatory life path, just a common one, and not one that guarantees happiness. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a different path if that is right for you. Whether you rent or buy, you have a place to live, which is the important thing. (Not even going to touch outside pressure to have kids or I will get really angry.) If you have though about it and really truly want those things, then that's great! But if you aren't sure, I just want you to know that that is valid too. You have so much going on, lots of new and stressful things. Here to cheer for you and support you as best I can. I really appreciate this reminder!! Buying a house and having children are both emotionally very uncomfortable ideas right now, because up until a very short time ago, I had fully expected to live as a single woman in a rented apartment for the rest of my life. The best way I can think of to describe it is that driving, owning a home, and having children feel like something I'm stealing from someone else's life - like those are for Other People, the Real Adults, and not for me, the twelve-year-old wearing tall shoes and a trench coat so people think she's a woman. Eamon and I decided before we were married that we wanted to give ourselves time to adjust to being married before moving on to parenting, especially since we only dated for a year and were engaged for just four months, and didn't live together before getting married. While a lot of other newlyweds in their 30's have experience with living and homemaking together, physical intimacy, navigating life as a couple, and so on, we're complete noobs at all those things. So we're both delightfully and awkwardly uncomfortable right now and firmly resisting the older relatives' pressure to hurry up and get pregnant. I so appreciate your encouragement and support and I'm so glad you're here! ❤️ On 11/14/2021 at 3:19 PM, Rhovaniel said: Have you experimented with putting fruit in water? Cut lemons work well, but I've used strawberries and even crushed mint as well. I have a bottle that has a inner compartment for the fruit, but often I'll just dump it all into a big jug when I want flavoured water and pour into a normal bottle, or glass. Reveal hidden contents I just realised I can't remember the last time I drank water out of a glass instead of a sports bottle I have! I have an infuser bottle that is really easy to use and I do enjoy putting frozen fruit into it - when it's frozen and thaws, it's kind of like an ice cube, and more of the fruit flavor leaks out into the water. I'm embarrassed to admit that most of the time I just feel too lazy to take the extra step and put fruit in the water instead of just complain and not drink all day. But thank you for the reminder!! (I only drink water from a glass when I haven't been drinking enough water during the day and therefore don't have a sport bottle actively in use! ) On 11/14/2021 at 4:06 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said: To piggy back on Rho, you can also make herbal teas cold. Just get a pitcher of water and put the tea in there and let it sit for a few hours to a day, then you can drink herbal tea cold, like water, but it has flavor, not like water. Yes, one of my Chinese friends taught me that! I am a little short on tea at the moment but I need to get some more. Thanks for the reminder! 19 hours ago, Elastigirl said: We won't even talk about Texas's habit of ruining their ice tea with all that sugar I really hate unsweetened tea even though I technically grew up in the north ... But sweet tea that isn't homemade has SO much sugar and caffeine that when I drink as much as I actually want, I don't sleep that night. The last time I had a storebought sweet tea was during a D&D campaign, where I kept myself hydrated by drinking four or five glasses of it ... I couldn't figure out why 2AM rolled around and I felt like I could go to the gym for an hour ... 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted November 23, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 Okay first of all, stop everything you're doing and listen to this: Secondly, hi! It's been a BUSY couple of weeks getting ready for Thanksgiving travel, and this is likely to be brief because I have some packing to do - but just to update quickly: Eating is going a bit better. I'm being more intentional about including fruits and vegetables in my daily diet, and while my water intake isn't back up where I'd like it to be, I'm working on it. Still less exercise than I'd like, but I'm hoping to take some siblings ice skating this week, and Eamon has expressed his desire to get back to exercising more too once we're home. Not giving up. Started keeping a thought journal for therapy and it's been really cool to spot and catch cognitive distortions as they happen - I still have a lot of practice to do, but I'm observing with curiosity. Physical anxiety symptoms come and go but mental symptoms have been mostly tolerable. Less driving this week due to busyness, but I'm going to try to tackle a highway in the Midwest this week, or at least drive around my hometown some. (We also discovered a flat tire on our own car this evening, so I'll get the fun experiences of learning how to drive a rental car and then helping Eamon repair and buy a new tire when we get home.) Also observing with curiosity as we go home to my parents as a married couple for the first time - my parents have been struggling a little bit with "letting go" and seem to want to take me back under their wings a little bit, which is totally understandable, but also not quite The Thing To Do. So it'll be interesting and I want to set boundaries, but gently. Might not update until after Thanksgiving but I'm just out here puttering and living life!! ❤️ Love you guys and I do try to check in when I can!! 4 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 23, 2021 Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 Have fun with travel, and with setting boundaries. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Loveable_Bouncer Posted November 23, 2021 Report Share Posted November 23, 2021 May Thanksgiving travels be awesome! Especially with all these healthy habits forming! 1 Quote Larger than Average Fairy Druid Level 1 10 STR / 8 DEX / 10 CON / 13 INT / 13 WIS / 17 CHA (DnD Stats) Link to comment
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