[WolfDreamer]

 

"Quiet friend who has come so far,

 

feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,

 

what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

 

In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.

 

And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.

 

Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29

 

Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower by Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Greetings and Happy Holidays fellow Rebels. As some of you know, life has been wild crazy busy for me lately but for good reasons. While this is always a difficult time of year for me personally, I am determined to rise above dwelling on past traumas and instead focus on upgrading my mind and body as I turn this new page in my life. 

 

My challenge will be similar to my last one with a few minor changes. Since winter is approaching and cold weather is already upon us, I am returning to my Wim Hof training. I'll be squeezing it in with my morning meditation practice. I am also intermittent fasting again but not in the same way as before: I will eat if I feel hungry (as in stomach actually growling), but if not then I will hold off until I am hungry. So here are my challenge goals:

 

PHYSICAL GOAL: Lift heavy objects as often as possible and move in ways that bring me joy.

 

This includes cinderblocks, logs, stones, kettlebells, weights, and my own body whenever the opportunity presents itself (yoga, Darebee workouts, etc.). The key is to have fun moving again and to lift mindfully, focusing on specific muscles/muscle groups and specific movements.

 

NUTRITIONAL GOALS: I will eat mindfully, selecting foods that nourish my body and don't leave me feeling blah after eating them.

 

From the Harvard School of Public Health:

 

"Eating mindfully means that you are using all of your physical and emotional senses to experience and enjoy the food choices you make. This helps to increase gratitude for food, which can improve the overall eating experience. Mindful eating encourages one to make choices that will be satisfying and nourishing to the body. However, it discourages “judging” one’s eating behaviors as there are different types of eating experiences. As we become more aware of our eating habits, we may take steps towards behavior changes that will benefit ourselves and our environment."

 

This will also include eating only when I feel hungry and not because I'm bored or because I think I'm hungry. This requires me to listen to my body and be mindful of my hunger.

 

MENTAL/SPIRITUAL GOALS: I will re-instate my morning practice which will now include Wim Hof practices. I will meditate twice daily (morning contemplative meditation and evening gratitude meditation). I will read and post one poem a day, as well as write a poem of my own every day. I will read at least ten pages of a spiritual development book daily.

 

I dropped the ball on the "poem a day" goal last time, but I struggled because life was so busy. Now that I'm finished with my Master's degree work, I should have the time to read and compose some poems.

 

MORNING PRACTICE:

• 0400 wakeup
• prayer/contemplative meditation
• scripture reading
• breath work (Wim Hof)
• cold shower

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along, and I don't know if I said it last challenge, but congrats on your Master's.

[Ann of Owlshire]

Congrats on finishing your Masters! Here with you on your journey. ❤️ 

[Heidi]

Congratulations on the Master’s, and thank you for the Rilke — he always seems so perfectly timed, whenever and wherever I encounter him.

 

I very much like the approach you have this challenge, especially with movement. Doing things as we can, with a glad heart, is a whole new level. Nicely formed! 

 

This is a very sacred time of year for me, not for outward religious reasons, but for longstanding personal spiritual development that occurs if and when and as I let it. Looking forward to being part of your journey.

[WolfDreamer]

Monday 11/28

 

 

PHYISICAL GOAL:

• 10 minute warmup
• 15 minute arms/back workout with a series of pulling exercises using machines and dumbbells
• 20  minute yoga routine

NUTRITIONAL GOAL:

• breakfast was alone in my classroom: breakfast pastry with eggs, cheese spinach, and mushrooms
• sat alone in the cafeteria for lunch and ate quietly without getting distracted by my phone: roast pork, broccoli salad, steamed cauliflower, roasted red potatoes
• dinner: ate Taco Bell with my little man while the girls were all at dance class.

MENTAL/SPIRITUAL GOAL

• 0415 wakeup (working my way to 0400)
• listened to the daily contemplative prayer using the Pray As You Go app
• completed one round of WHM breathing
• 2:30 cold shower (cold only, no warm); also took the dogs outside after my shower while shirtless and shoeless; it was 32 degrees F.

 

Daily Poems:

 

This poem damn near wrecked me. It is poems like this that remind me of the power of poetry to reach right into us in some way and pull at our insides.

 

 

In the Chapel of St. Mary’s

Written by Donika Kelly

 

I can’t tell you what happened
there, why I entered the sanctuary,

 

a non-believer. Only that I
have been thinking about worship,

 

the altar of the body and supplication,
for some time. My thoughts turn,

 

as they often do in this season of absence,
to my wife, and how tired a god can get

 

when called, and too often, for little reason
but loneliness. Of course I don’t mean god here,

 

but rather the woman I love, who alters
the orbit of my life, pulls me with the density

 

of light toward her, the draw thinner
when she is farther away, as she is now.

 

I try to find comfort in the inevitability
of science, when what I lack is faith.

 

The sanctuary—the stained glass,
four girls saturating it with soft chatter,

 

small pots of stargazer lilies, a lace ribbon
for each pew—this place is full of faith

 

in the unknown, and I don’t know
how to believe in what I cannot see.

 

Tonight, I will drive through the foothills
and into the valley. I will try to make

 

a little practice, to trust you are with me,
even though you are somewhere else.

 

(For an excellent audio reading of this poem, check out this link here).

 

This one came to me as I was walking across campus.

 

 

BUT... NO JASMINE

by Me

 

I don’t think I’ve ever known

The smell of real jasmine

 

But... 

 

I’ve known the look and feel

Of ginkgo leaves in the fall

Once enviously green

Now essenced by the sunlight

I’ve known the look and feel

Of a bat’s wing at twilight

Once kept at a distance

Now begotten by the wind

I’ve know the look and feel

Of rainfall on the ocean

Once roaring with the tide

Now humming with quintessence

I’ve known the look and feel

Of a rhino’s hide and horn

Once thought impossible

Now etched in my memories

 

But...

 

No jasmine.

[Sciread77]

Congrats on your Masters. I’m proud of you and knew you could do it!

[WolfDreamer]

Sorry for the absence. Had a sick little one, and now I'm sick again. Fortunately, it's just a cold, and typically when I get sick it hits hard but doesn't last long. Took the day off from work today.

 

I have been consistent with my physical goal and mostly consistent with my nutritional goal. My mental/spiritual goals, however, have been meh, mostly because I have been sleeping in because I've needed the rest. It's tough to want to get up early when a 1 year old disturbs your typical full night's sleep.

 

I have a couple of poems for you:

 

December Morning in the Desert

by Alberto Rios

 

The morning is clouded and the birds are hunched,
More cold than hungry, more numb than loud,

 

This crisp, Arizona shore, where desert meets
The coming edge of the winter world.

 

It is a cold news in stark announcement,
The myriad stars making bright the black,

 

As if the sky itself had been snowed upon.
But the stars—all those stars,

 

Where does the sure noise of their hard work go?
These plugs sparking the motor of an otherwise quiet sky,

 

Their flickering work everywhere in a white vastness:
We should hear the stars as a great roar

 

Gathered from the moving of their billion parts, this great
Hot rod skid of the Milky Way across the asphalt night,

 

The assembled, moving glints and far-floating embers
Risen from the hearth-fires of so many other worlds.

 

Where does the noise of it all go
If not into the ears, then hearts of the birds all around us,

 

Their hearts beating so fast and their equally fast
Wings and high songs,

 

And the bees, too, with their lumbering hum,
And the wasps and moths, the bats, the dragonflies—

 

None of them sure if any of this is going to work,
This universe—we humans oblivious,

 

Drinking coffee, not quite awake, calm and moving
Into the slippers of our Monday mornings,

 

Shivering because, we think,
It’s a little cold out there.

 

CARDINAL

by Me

 

Little bird

Baptized in red

Tiny treetop priest 

Sing your sermon to the morning 

A litany of love

A liturgy of longing

Break open the clouds with your voice

Bring forth an offering of worship

All else fades 

All worries dissolve

Passed by with the storm and cold

Only reflections in raindrops remain