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Salinger's forty sixth challenge!


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30 minutes ago, Rookie said:

 

 

 

 

Sounds like a happy tired though? Like one of those "Yes... I am content" lol I think that makes it worth it ;)

 

You have a great day ahead of you! The fajitas sound amazing. The gym sounds amazing. That house sounds great.

 

 

Hey Rookie!

 

Yeah i think im content!! Im cold, i know that hahaa both doors downstairs are open to air out the place! Smells lemony from mopping the kitchen and hallway :D  

 

We had so much cardboard stacked up that its filled the bloody recycling wheely bin haha how embarrassing. 

 

But thats a big job we kept putting off, done. 

 

Also just sprayed down the surfaces in kitchen, and will wipe in a moment. Will then sweep living room and mop. 

 

Done a lot though so far. Hope Rox notices... feels a bit like ive done loads but you cant tell !!!! 

 

I have just heard from the house people, they had more applications so going through with landlord and will 'let me know' if the landlord chooses us. 

 

HATE this. Due to my income, and having a cat, we are likely not desirable tenants. (someone earning more with no animals is more likely) 

 

Feels impossible tbh guys. 

 

Anyway nothing i can actually do about that is there! Just got to keep hoping, and keep looking. 

 

Got a meeting at 3pm today. (in an hour) so will carry on cleaning till then. After the meeting, ill go to the gym. xx

 

 

 

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43 minutes ago, Salinger said:

HATE this. Due to my income, and having a cat, we are likely not desirable tenants. (someone earning more with no animals is more likely) 

 

Feels impossible tbh guys. 

 

Anyway nothing i can actually do about that is there! Just got to keep hoping, and keep looking.

 

Yeah, that's a bit tricky. But I think you're totally right about just hoping and trying. You'll find one.

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Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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1 hour ago, Harriet said:

 

Yeah, that's a bit tricky. But I think you're totally right about just hoping and trying. You'll find one.

 

Thanks Harriet, Just really dont want the place we get to be a shit hole, one that no one wants etc

 

Be depressing !

 

_______

 

Had a meeting, went well! Lots to do, lots of emails to send out etc. Im trying to get better at pacing myself with work, making more plans and properly planning it out etc. Hard sometimes to not throw myself totally in and do everything at once haha

 

Im doing my best though with it all. It is hard to properly move forward without knowing the outcome of the funding...i should hear within two weeks. *gulp* 

 

Either i move properly forward and get cracking on EVERYTHING (if successful) or read feedback and rewrite/submit again (if rejected) aaghhhhhhhh

 

My anxiety is in overdrive tbh

 

*breathe*

 

Just mopped the floors downstairs, will finish my tea, then head to the gym for 45 mins :) xx

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Lots on your plate today but it pretty much sounds like all good things! Crossing my fingers and toes for the right house at the right price to come up for you!

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Morning all. 

 

*yawn* 

 

9.20am, just back from dropping off Rox. I cant wait to not do this commute!!!!

 

I slept ok, my fitbit said 86 points (which is good) so im pleased, the night before was 88 points, so im doing well with sleep scores!

 

Got my period annoyingly this morn. I havent had a period for like 6 months ... remember they did tests because i was 'on' constantly. Well it just randomly disappeared for ages, but today its back, and i am hoping so much that its not going to hang around like last time. Cant be dealing with that. 

 

Lots of work to do today, including website build, emails, house searching, cleaning (hoovering stairs) should put some washing on and out to dry...etc etc

 

Feels never ending sometimes.

 

I would love a nap as well at some point. And need to get my steps in, so a stroll round the block or something too. 

 

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This was from last night :) went to the gym did 30 mins on treadmill. Was going to do some KB stuff but there was tons of people around and they were in use. I went at a bad time yesterday!! And i needed to pick up Roxy. 

 

Got my 5000 steps in, and my water intake was good. As was nutrition. 

 

Had these in fajita wraps. Delish. 

 

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xx

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Gosh, i feel bad today. 

 

Very anxious, very stressed out too. Sad even. Missing my dad a lot, and worried about my mum who is struggling. 

 

No emails coming through, to distract me either :(

 

Also kinda fed up with the art scene here, same people getting chosen for every fucking opportunity. Frustrating. I am not in the clique here, so no chance for me tbh. 

 

Not a good day thus far :( xx

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I’m sorry lovely, that’s rough as guts. Hope by the time you see this things have settled a bit for you ❤️ Can you walk-and-talk it out? Holding space for you, if you’ve already thrown in the towel on the drinking  and drugs we’ll be here for you, if you haven’t yet knowing that they don’t actually help things and sometimes make the sass stick around longer might be useful info. It also might not. Main thing to remember is: none of this is your fault? No self hating.

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12 hours ago, Salinger said:

Grief is killing me. 

 

And found out my sister has pre-cancerous cells which needs treatment. She is fucking 30. 

 

Whats the point?

 

Hey Sal. It looks to me as though pre cancerous cells are very different from cancer, and not nearly as dangerous? Perhaps the treatment is all she needs and then she will be well. I hope so.

 

12 hours ago, Salinger said:

Done barely 1000 steps today, desperate for alcohol and drugs. 

 

Fuck it

 

I think you deserve better than a binge. It's Thursday morning, a fresh day. Is there anything you can do today that's nourishing and helps regulate the emotions? A walk, maybe? A healthy meal that you really enjoy?

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Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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2 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

I’m sorry lovely, that’s rough as guts. Hope by the time you see this things have settled a bit for you ❤️ Can you walk-and-talk it out? Holding space for you, if you’ve already thrown in the towel on the drinking  and drugs we’ll be here for you, if you haven’t yet knowing that they don’t actually help things and sometimes make the sass stick around longer might be useful info. It also might not. Main thing to remember is: none of this is your fault? No self hating.

 

Morning Yasha, thank you for kind words. ❤️

 

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

 

Hey Sal. It looks to me as though pre cancerous cells are very different from cancer, and not nearly as dangerous? Perhaps the treatment is all she needs and then she will be well. I hope so.

 

 

I think you deserve better than a binge. It's Thursday morning, a fresh day. Is there anything you can do today that's nourishing and helps regulate the emotions? A walk, maybe? A healthy meal that you really enjoy?

 

Thank you Harriet. I dont understand the lingo as much as my sister and mum. All i know is the stage they are at is very high risk, and the treatment will cause complications if she wants a baby :( just sad for her .

 

I will do my best ❤️ xx

 

 

 

__________________

 

 

Hey all. Thursday morning. 8.30am. I am sat in Starbucks, having a tea and lemon muffin. I have my laptop to do some work. As I am waiting to view a house (9.45am) I dropped Rox off at work and no point going home, as I would need to leave again so came here. 

 

Hope the house is nice. Hope they accept us. We will see i guess. 

 

Last night after messaging here, i had a big cry. I did my best to stay away from binging the drugs and booze. 

 

Roxy made me a glass of milk which i had with some shortbread. 

 

We ended up ordering maccies, and i had the McPlant burger (so im still meat free) but more importantly I am still sober. 

 

We watched some crappy quiz show and then went to bed. I slept quite well. 

 

Today, i feel sort of numb, anxious and sad. 

 

But trying to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. *sigh* 

 

Plans today include house viewing and trying to sort application forms for that if i like it. Come home, do some cleaning, do some work, emails etc - then another viewing at 4.15pm (might cancel this one as it doesnt have a bath and cba with that) pick up Rox... go to the gym, make some food (eat well throughout) drink enough water. 

 

Trying to self care and soothe. Sun is peeking out, its chilly but looks like it will be nice day. 

 

xx

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6 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Thank you Harriet. I dont understand the lingo as much as my sister and mum. All i know is the stage they are at is very high risk, and the treatment will cause complications if she wants a baby :( just sad for her .

 

Ah, I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope she gets the best possible care and outcomes.

 

6 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Today, i feel sort of numb, anxious and sad. 

 

But trying to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. *sigh*

 

This is the way. I think you are showing outstanding valour. Carry on, possum ❤️

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Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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I'm sorry that you had a really rough  day and you were feeling so hopeless.  But I'm still so proud of you for sticking to your goals and staying sober.  I'm putting positive vibes into the universe for your sister and her treatment!

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“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” John Steinbeck

“Do I dare disturb the universe?” – T.S. Eliot

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison

"All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given to us" JRR Tolkien

 

Human Bard: CON 2, WIS 5, INT 1, CHA 2

 

Current Challenge: Nova Levels Up (and maybe doesn't abandon a challenge...)

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9 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Ah, I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope she gets the best possible care and outcomes.

 

 

This is the way. I think you are showing outstanding valour. Carry on, possum ❤️

 

Thank you Harriet, very kind of you to say xx

 

 

8 hours ago, Novaurora said:

I'm sorry that you had a really rough  day and you were feeling so hopeless.  But I'm still so proud of you for sticking to your goals and staying sober.  I'm putting positive vibes into the universe for your sister and her treatment!

 

Thanks a lot Nova ❤️ xx

 

 

1 hour ago, fearless 2.0 said:

&1 ❤️

 

 

:) xx

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Hey all. tough day but better than yesterday. 

 

Viewed the house, real nice, perfect location. Have applied so will now have to wait to see if they choose us.... nightmare. Might not hear till next week. 

 

Also nothing about funding so likely to be next Thursday now. HATE it. So anxious ...

 

Full of butterflies inside, constantly nauseous bluergh. 

 

Done work on the website though, not much cleaning done at all... had a nap. Got petrol etc 

 

Tonight making halloumi salad...

 

And TRY to get to the gym. TBH lost some momentum and motivation with my bad mental health :( any advice or push please do say xx

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3 hours ago, Salinger said:

 

And TRY to get to the gym. TBH lost some momentum and motivation with my bad mental health :( any advice or push please do say xx


Trying Do It GIF by Back Row Radio

 

“I will go to the gym today”.

 

Dont care if you sit in the carpark, but go. I’d encourage you to sweat out the sads. As to motivation: fuck motivation. You’re going in spite of. To show the brain gremlins that you’re the boss. Plus, there might be some endorphins after the fact, and you sound like you could really use those right now.

 

I am going to the gym in two hours, I will check in on you afterwards. You can do it.

 

PS: SOOOO proud of you for keeping sober even in the face of badtimes. You are a badass. 

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I have been to the gym and am checking in afterwards as promised, though I forgot about the timezones 😂 hope you’re feeling a little better by the time you see this message ❤️❤️❤️

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