[Harriet]

Overview of the Battle

 

The objective: to gain and hold the mountain and the treasures within: lifting, writing, painting, walking, cooking and spirit work.
The enemies: fatigue, emotional resistance, distraction addiction, hopelessness

The weapons: axe of strength, sword of courage, staff of clarity, reflective shield

 

Details of the Battle

 

Spoiler

The Mountain (and its treasures)
I know what I want to achieve: The mountain is a reliable schedule that involves the treasures of daily meditation and spirit work, cooking and walking, and regular lifting, painting and writing. I have identified the enemies that stand between me and the mountain, and the weapons that can defeat them:

 

Fatigue

First is fatigue. When I overdo activities or neglect recovery, I enjoy slug phases in which I have very low physical energy and motivation, which I cannot reason or persuade myself out of.

 

Axe of Strength

Techniques for managing fatigue include: pacing, diet, sleep, stress reduction and better lifting programme design.

 

Distraction Addiction

The second enemy is addiction. Although my main addiction is to the internet, I have also used sugar, alcohol, caffeine, and other things as distractions and pick-me-ups nearly constantly.

 

Staff of Clarity

Techniques for managing addiction include: internet blocks, meditation and other mindfulness practices, plus having lots of books to read. And abstaining from sugar and alcohol, and limiting caffeine.

 

Emotional Resistance

The third enemy is emotional resistance. Often when facing creative work, a vague anxiety and hesitation holds me back. Once I get started, it’s usually okay. But there remains a significant surface tension upon the activities I want to do, especially writing and painting.

 

Sword of Courage

I must decondition my fear of creative work. Techniques might include journalling, meditation and low-stakes, fail-proof practices. I could also develop enspiriting rituals and calming schedules to help defuse the tension of getting started.

 

Hopelessness

The fourth enemy is Hopelessness. I can push through difficulties and stick to my plans when I fully believe that my efforts will be effective. But if this faith wavers, and I start to wonder if what I’m doing is effective or worthwhile, I am very prone to quitting.

 

Reflective Shield
The techniques to maintain inspiration and faith include journalling, spirit work and meditation, plus regular time devoted to search for inspiring and helpful materials.

 

At the start of each new challenge, I should consult this document and create a plan that takes into account the objective, the enemies, and the weapons. At the end of each challenge, I should review how well it worked.

 

 

THE FIRST SKIRMISH

Reflective Shield

Journalling structures all the other efforts.

 

• I shall journal daily, noting how the activities went and taking a moment to enjoy my successes.
• I will note my fatigue (mental, physical, joints) after lifting, in order to start establishing what my maximum recoverable workload is.
• I will use Sundays to reflect more thoroughly.

 

 

Sword of Courage

To begin the de-conditioning of writing anxiety, I will implement a low stakes, no-fail ten minute writing practice:

 

• Every weekday after my walk or workout, I will sit at my desk and open whatever writing piece I am working on, or a blank document if I have no piece under construction, and then I will stay at my desk for ten minutes without doing anything else.

 

 

Staff of Clarity
Cold turkey is keeping me off the internet, and meditation is helping rehabilitate my distracted, agitated, discontented mind.

 

• I will set a new block for the length of the challenge
• I will meditate daily after my cup of tea and before breakfast, with the new course that I found and paid for.
• I will have no alcohol, excepting a maximum of two drinks at Sylvester.

 

 

Axe of Strength
Meat! Iron! Politely declining excess social obligations!

 

• I will lift three times per week according to the starting-lifting-again block I have planned.
• I will continue eating my current high meat, low carb diet, and put a quick end to any unsupportive comments or discussions from Mr Harriet
• I will refuse excess social obligations and guard my energy. I will start using the phrase “I’ll think about it and get back to you” to give myself some space if people invite/demand/plead.

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along to offer encouragement along the way. 

[KB Girl]

Journaling is so helpful  

Is NF part of your reflective shield? Or not always?

[Harriet]

Monday

I meditated, lifted, wrote, and journalled. I was unfortunately very tired and had a drop in mood after lifting, so I had an obligatory nap and did a second meditation when I woke up because my mood is to some extent within my control.

 

For Christmas, my brother bought me a book entitled "Nose to Tail: Meisterstücke Für Männer". It's a German book on meat and cooking the whole beast (I had mentioned I would like a German meat cook book. This is less cookbook and more comprehensive reference book, but it's pretty cool in its own right). It includes charts that show how American cuts differ from German ones, and some recipes. We both thought it hilarious that the book is apparently "for men", (it's mine now, fools) and that the series is called BEEF! (with an exclamation mark). Anyway, it's interesting to learn that steak loving Americans cut their cows differently, to produce as many grillable steak-like cuts as possible, whereas Germans feel that many such cuts are not worth grilling, and possibly have a greater number of traditional recipes for soups, roasts, roulades and so on. I don't understand 100% of the German, but it's good practice. It was sad to learn that only 35% of a cow makes "edle" fine cuts and the rest is liable to be used for pet food or even thrown away. (I'm not sure where ground beef fits in here. I don't think it is a fine cut but we obviously eat it. What's it made of?).

[Harriet]

54 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following along to offer encouragement along the way. 

 

Thank you, Tank 😊

 

3 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

Journaling is so helpful  

Is NF part of your reflective shield? Or not always?

 

Yes, NF is a core component of the reflective shield! These challenges are the spine and ribs of my journalling, really. Probably the hand bones, too. So it's important I review things and reflect and don't just waffle on.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

Germans feel that many such cuts are not worth grilling

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

I love the structure of your challenge.

[Jupiter]

I'm loving this challenge. Following.  

[Harriet]

11 hours ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

I love the structure of your challenge.

 

Thank you! Nerdfitness is helping me hone in on what's central, I think.

 

5 hours ago, Jupiter said:

I'm loving this challenge. Following.  

 

Welcome and thank you!

 

11 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

Don't worry, we still have steak. Four entire types! Though I think one of these four cuts is not really steak-worthy. So three, really. Everything else is for roasting, braising, soups, and wurst of various kind, apparently.

[Harriet]

Tuesday

Meditated, did the grocery shopping, and sat for ten minutes with my writing. It is so darned cold I cannot even think of going for a walk, or doing anything else. I am roasting a whole chicken which I will eat for the next couple of days.

 

I'm trying to manage my negative emotions again after Mr Harriet brought up that he thinks my diet is the cause of the acid reflux. His mother in law said it is caused by an übersäuerter Magen (overly-acidic stomach) and he believes her. He has no idea what else I can eat, only that there must be some less "extreme" way of managing my anxiety. I read about GERD yet again. It's caused by a weak lower esophageal sphincter, not acid as such. It can allegedly be worsened by fatty foods, but studies seem to show keto improves it (many studies that find "fatty food" is harmful are actually looking at high fat, high carb, processed junk food, which makes it difficult to tease out what's causing the harm). In any case, other culprits include chocolate and tea (even decaf) and spices, tomatoes, and citrus.

 

At the moment I have a wedge pillow, and the symptoms are very mild (just an acid taste in my mouth every morning). I'll cut chocolate, tea (and the cream I was drinking with the tea), tomatoes, citrus and spices. It could well be the chocolate, since I went from eating almost none to about 35g per day when I started keto.

But yeah... I just want to feel supported and not judged. Mr Harriet says he's worried about the acid reflux (it can cause cancer!) but I strongly suspect he *wants* the keto to be to blame for the reflux because he *wants* the diet to fail because he doesn't like it, aesthetically. It angers me that he insists there must be some other way to manage my anxiety when he has zero knowledge (as far as I know he's not even done a single google search on the topic).  How? HOW? HOWWW THEN??? I found a near magic solution after 20 years and there's a second miracle just lying around??? I mean, maybe there is. Maybe it's fasting. Maybe the solution to being unable to design a diet that meets all criteria, and feeling completely trapped, is to NOT EAT FOOD.

 

...Okay, I'm going to take responsibility for my emotions and calm down/cheer up now. Cutting out chocolate is a fine next step. It's fine. I should give it a few weeks. If it doesn't work, I'll worry about the next step later. I'm going to eat some chicken now, and release all of Mr Harriet's opinions from my self. I alone choose how I feel and what I eat. I will decline further conversation on the topic.

[KB Girl]

Someone should explain confirmation bias to your mr. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm frustrated on your behalf. How would Mr. feel if someone constantly judged him for not eating meat?

[Alanna]

Following! Although it seems a bit unhelpful to just follow a battle, so...

 

 

I am sorry that Mr Harriet is still not on board or at least pretending neutrality. It's frustrating that he's honing in on the meat part of your diet, too, when keto has led to other nutritional changes that could also be contributing to the acid reflux. I hope (for your sake!) that you figure out what is triggering it. 

 

As frustrating as the situation is, I do appreciate the image of miracles just laying around, waiting to be stumbled across like spare change on the pavement - maybe we need to convert a metal detector into a miracle detector and scan for them on the beach...

[Elastigirl]

I'm impressed that you are giving  up chocolate in your quest for health! That meat cookbook sounds amazing.  I never understand why woman are supposed to love to eat only salads and men get the meat. Give me a ribeye anytime over a salad

[fearless 2.0]

Hi possum,

Im sorry I just fucked off wordlessly!

But Im back for this challenge and like your challenge structure a lot. I feel your frustration about Mr. H. and keto. And I know what you are talking about when you say it helps you a lot.

my party shares the view that meet is bad for you mostly and I wish I could educate the big shots on how helpful keto is to many people. Personally I tried out almost every diet existing and nothing else lets me feel this well.

 

I hope you have a relaxed and nice evening! ❤️

[h3r0]

12 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Don't worry, we still have steak. Four entire types! Though I think one of these four cuts is not really steak-worthy. So three, really. Everything else is for roasting, braising, soups, and wurst of various kind, apparently.

 

Is beef common in Germany? I've only been once and since I don't speak German and couldn't read the menus I would just randomly point to something and see what I would get. Almost every time it was some kind of pork covered in some kind of gravy. So I came away with the impression that was the common foods. Maybe it was just the luck of the draw. 

 

[Salinger]

Harriet ❤️ 

 

Here for you again, as much as possible!

So sorry you arent being supported by Mr H...hoping he changes his tune through the challenge and becomes a support network for you xx

[Harriet]

18 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Someone should explain confirmation bias to your mr. 

 

He knows what it is, but he thinks it's something other people have 😅

 

18 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm frustrated on your behalf. How would Mr. feel if someone constantly judged him for not eating meat?

 

How indeed. He's settling down about it, but I'm just sooo sensitive from previous conversations that any hint sets me off. He was good last night. I was a little worried about the entire chicken I was roasting, but he said it smelled good and then thanked me sincerely for his dinner.

 

13 hours ago, Alanna said:

Following! Although it seems a bit unhelpful to just follow a battle, so...

 

 

Oh yeah!!! I am feeling so enspirited and envaloured right row!!! No one can fail with an Aragorn meme and their good nerds standing by!

 

13 hours ago, Alanna said:

I am sorry that Mr Harriet is still not on board or at least pretending neutrality. It's frustrating that he's honing in on the meat part of your diet, too, when keto has led to other nutritional changes that could also be contributing to the acid reflux. I hope (for your sake!) that you figure out what is triggering it. 

 

Ja. I may go back to medium carb paleo again later (I was kinda planning to cycle seasonally anyway) but my doc said we'd do more blood tests so I'm not switching yet.

 

13 hours ago, Alanna said:

As frustrating as the situation is, I do appreciate the image of miracles just laying around, waiting to be stumbled across like spare change on the pavement - maybe we need to convert a metal detector into a miracle detector and scan for them on the beach...

 

Hehehe. More likely to find them on the beach than in a doctor's office, in my experience.

 

12 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I'm impressed that you are giving  up chocolate in your quest for health! That meat cookbook sounds amazing.  I never understand why woman are supposed to love to eat only salads and men get the meat. Give me a ribeye anytime over a salad

 

Thanks, I didn't think I could do it, myself. But hey. When your health is crap you'll try a lot of things.

I guess meat has always been associated with vigour, vitality, and strength. There was clearly a fashion for women to be very underfed from, IDK, at least the eighties or something. Delicate, wilting, nibbling gazelles. Except gazelles are strong and sturdy and eat without restraint. What other animal would make themselves less fit? Only animals with a complex society with non material resources to be won.

 

10 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

Hi possum,

Im sorry I just fucked off wordlessly!

But Im back for this challenge and like your challenge structure a lot.

 

Hello fearless!!! I am very glad you're back! ❤️

 

10 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I feel your frustration about Mr. H. and keto. And I know what you are talking about when you say it helps you a lot.

my party shares the view that meet is bad for you mostly and I wish I could educate the big shots on how helpful keto is to many people. Personally I tried out almost every diet existing and nothing else lets me feel this well.

 

Yeah, I can imagine. About the party, I mean. Same as my brother's buddhist housemates. Plants good, animals bad, case closed.

 

10 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I hope you have a relaxed and nice evening! ❤️

 

Thank you!

 

10 hours ago, h3r0 said:

 

Is beef common in Germany? I've only been once and since I don't speak German and couldn't read the menus I would just randomly point to something and see what I would get. Almost every time it was some kind of pork covered in some kind of gravy. So I came away with the impression that was the common foods. Maybe it was just the luck of the draw. 

 

 

It is, but pork may be more popular here than in the USA. According to my book, the German method of butchering doesn't yield many beef cuts appropriate for grilling/frying (just boneless rib eye, tenderloin, and strip steak), so pork is more popular as it offers several pieces that can be grilled or fried, and more cheaply.  At any German restaurant, you should find both, and at my butcher there's about equal space for each. Mind you, most restaurants here are not German cuisine as such.

 

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

Harriet ❤️ 

 

Here for you again, as much as possible!

So sorry you arent being supported by Mr H...hoping he changes his tune through the challenge and becomes a support network for you xx

 

Thank you Sal! ❤️

I hope so. We'll work on it.

[Harriet]

Wednesday

I meditated, lifted, and wrote ten minutes on my essay. I feel very horribly tired, same as yesterday. I had a two hour nap AND slept for ten hours yesterday. I have just pried myself off the sofa after today's nap. Not really less tired than when I lay down. This is very unpleasant. I also have a headache, I assume from quitting tea. Gosh I want some sugar. Or any kind of pick me up. Usually I would have chocolate but there is none because I quit. I ate some pure coconut oil instead. I would rather not say how much. Not hungry, just desperate for energy.

Still, at least my energy had the decency to last until after lunch so I could lift. Added 5kg to the tiny deadlift. They didn't feel heavy, but I did feel tired afterwards, like I would after housework or bodyweight exercises. Kept the OHP the same, just 20kg, unfortunately, since I sensed the increased reps would have taken me to failure and I want to avoid that.

[fearless 2.0]

I feel you on the sugar cravings... shit! well done, you!!!

be extra kind towards yourself tonight. I tried that for me today and it helped so much!

hugs! ❤️

[KB Girl]

Dropping the chocolate is quite a carb reduction? Maybe something else with a couple carbs would be alright to replace it?

[Alanna]

You accomplished a lot under the circumstances! Congratulations on the deadlift progression - 5 kg is a large jump.

 

I know the "I want carb/sugar energy feeling." And I have eaten coconut oil with carrots in similar circumstances when I had a very restricted diet and was craving lots of calories. Hopefully it's just your body adjusting to the caffeine/chocolate loss and you feel better soon.

[Harriet]

13 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I feel you on the sugar cravings... shit! well done, you!!!

be extra kind towards yourself tonight. I tried that for me today and it helped so much!

hugs! ❤️

 

Thank you, but I ended up caving spectacularly, lol.

 

11 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Dropping the chocolate is quite a carb reduction? Maybe something else with a couple carbs would be alright to replace it?

 

The chocolate I eat is 100% dark, so it has about 5 carbs in the amounts I eat it in. I think I was maybe missing the caffeine? I will reintroduce tea. It's too hard.

 

11 hours ago, Alanna said:

You accomplished a lot under the circumstances! Congratulations on the deadlift progression - 5 kg is a large jump.

 

I suppose it would be, but I'm started from the lightest possible weights! Once, I lifted 90. Now I am lifting 45 😕 But last time, I got there by pushing hard all the time, and I don't think I can reproduce that feat again a second time. So this time we're going slow.

 

11 hours ago, Alanna said:

I know the "I want carb/sugar energy feeling." And I have eaten coconut oil with carrots in similar circumstances when I had a very restricted diet and was craving lots of calories. Hopefully it's just your body adjusting to the caffeine/chocolate loss and you feel better soon.

 

Thank you. I do like coconut oil. Not sure about carrots, though. Maybe something else? Maybe I can fit in some fruit?

[Harriet]

Friends, I ate three prunes, about 2 tablespoons of coconut oil, and no fewer than four slices of panettone (I think it's an italian fruit cake thing) with butter. I think taking away my tea and my chocolate at the same time was too cruel. I think chocolate is the likelier culprit regarding the acid reflux, so I'm going to put the tea back in for now, but not too close to bed time.

 

Interestingly, I did feel better (temporarily) after the panettone, so clearly I can benefit from at least some carbs for energy, though when my diet was about 40% carbs I still had the anxiety. Why? (hypothesis 1: grains cause anxiety because of celiac or non-celiac sensitivity? hypothesis 2: grains, legumes and tofu cause anxiety because of lectins or some other plant mischief hypothesis 3 excess carbs cause anxiety and the boundary of excess is more than 5% but less than 40% possibly depending on whether I'm lifting and walking much hypothesis 4 fast acting carbs cause anxiety through blood sugar instability, and rolled oats are fast acting carbs despite lies to the contrary hypothesis 5 ketones are independently helpful for anxiety regardless of whether carbs are helpful in other ways).

I wonder if free floating fats aren't worse than fats integrated into whole foods, for the reflux. I can actually afford to have milk with my tea instead of cream, so I'll do that. I'll throw the prunes out today (my brother and I bought them to wrap in bacon at Yule, but they're 5 carbs... EACH. Dark, wrinkly little temptation-betrayal-packets). I'd be better off with a real piece of fruit as an afternoon snack. In fact, I could probably do that and still stay under thirty grams. I'd really like an apple.

[KB Girl]

Delicious crisp apple 🍎 go for it 😁

Really wish i could help you figure out which of those hypothesis is true… fingers crossed ditching just the chocolate will make your acid reflux go away!