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Happienumber gets ahold of herself


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1 hour ago, Happienumber said:

-- that if I ever do have a brain tumor or an aneurism I'll almost certainly just lay down and try to sleep it off. 

One time when I was visiting my friend in Albania and had just avoided being human trafficked so I was kind of stressed and hadn't drank enough ect, I had the worst migraine of my life and went blind, and instead of like, calling the dr, I just laid on their living room floor and was like "lol I hope this passes because it will be very inconvenient for my friends to find my corpse in the morning. If this turns out to be not a regular migraine, sorry guys haha." 

 

So, one of my sisters gets migraines. And one time, she had this really bad migraine that would not let up and was really bad, so she is trying to call my grandmother (who is a retired doctor) to see what she should do. And while she is on the phone, her arm drops and half of her body goes numb. The family friend who she was staying with at the time rushed her to the hospital because she thought she was having a stroke. They ran a bunch of tests and came to the conclusion...she just had a migraine and the symptoms went away with some medication, lol

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Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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13 hours ago, Rookie said:

😂 I love that they are like WELP ANYWAYS

 

And it's been like at least 6 doctors now. I'm like...do none of you find this curious????

 

13 hours ago, Rookie said:

ok I need to do this lolllll I’m sure there’s something I need at Home Depot

 

There's always something you need at home depot. It's a wonderland. 

 

13 hours ago, Aquarii said:

And while she is on the phone, her arm drops and half of her body goes numb. The family friend who she was staying with at the time rushed her to the hospital because she thought she was having a stroke.

 

This is so terrifying! I can see how everyone would assume stroke. I've had this happen a few times with migraines, CRAZY stuff migraines can do. But the entire-side-of-body thing has only been one or two times, usually if things go numb it's three fingers on one hand (and half the hand) or three toes (and half the foot) idk what's so special about three.  That happens sometimes even when the migraine isn't even very severe pain-wise. 

 

13 hours ago, Aquarii said:

They ran a bunch of tests and came to the conclusion...she just had a migraine and the symptoms went away with some medication, lol

 

OMG that must have been so frustrating! There's nothing quite so irritating as going to the ER and finding out it was exactly nothing

But I mean...biologically speaking it does make sense doesn't it? Because migraines have something to do with restricted blood flow and/or chemical/hormonal imbalances, and if certain areas of the brain (like motor control) aren't getting enough blood or are overwhelmed/starved for chemicals they need, they would malfunction. I can assume almost anything could happen from a migraine, it's in your central processing unit after all. 

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30 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

OMG that must have been so frustrating! There's nothing quite so irritating as going to the ER and finding out it was exactly nothing

But I mean...biologically speaking it does make sense doesn't it? Because migraines have something to do with restricted blood flow and/or chemical/hormonal imbalances, and if certain areas of the brain (like motor control) aren't getting enough blood or are overwhelmed/starved for chemicals they need, they would malfunction. I can assume almost anything could happen from a migraine, it's in your central processing unit after all. 

 

Yeah, I am sure it was frustrating, but also relieving. Being told you are having a migraine that has symptoms that are immitating a stroke, it seems much better than the alternative of being told you had a stroke. 

 

I have had issues with headaches in the past, sometimes lasting for quite awhile. But I have never really had migraines, and don't know much about them aside from what I have seen my sister and mom experience with them. I did go through this year-ish long period where I would get these ice-pick headaches. I can't remember what they were called, but it is this rare form that is in the same family as a cluster headache. It would feel like an explosion o pain in right side of my head that would just crowd out my vision and hearing and if I was walking or standing, I would nearly collapse. And it lasted for maybe 15-60 seconds and then went away. Sometimes it would happen multiple times in a day, sometimes only a few times every few months. It was so weird.

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Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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50 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

This is so terrifying! I can see how everyone would assume stroke. I've had this happen a few times with migraines, CRAZY stuff migraines can do. But the entire-side-of-body thing has only been one or two times, usually if things go numb it's three fingers on one hand (and half the hand) or three toes (and half the foot) idk what's so special about three.  That happens sometimes even when the migraine isn't even very severe pain-wise. 

+

12 minutes ago, Aquarii said:

I did go through this year-ish long period where I would get these ice-pick headaches. I can't remember what they were called, but it is this rare form that is in the same family as a cluster headache. It would feel like an explosion o pain in right side of my head that would just crowd out my vision and hearing and if I was walking or standing, I would nearly collapse. And it lasted for maybe 15-60 seconds and then went away. Sometimes it would happen multiple times in a day, sometimes only a few times every few months. It was so weird.

Both of these sound terrifying! 😬

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1 minute ago, Mad Hatter said:

 

Both of these sound terrifying! 😬

 

It was. I ended up getting a CT scan, because they had no idea what was going on (and my family has a history of brain tumors 😬), but the scans came back clear, so they diagnosed it as that rare form of headache. I haven't had an issue with it in quite awhile. I think stress and maybe diet/hydration/sleep issues might trigger it. 

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Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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19 minutes ago, Aquarii said:

they had no idea what was going on (and my family has a history of brain tumors 😬

37 minutes ago, Aquarii said:

It would feel like an explosion o pain in right side of my head that would just crowd out my vision and hearing and if I was walking or standing, I would nearly collapse. And it lasted for maybe 15-60 seconds and then went away. Sometimes it would happen multiple times in a day, sometimes only a few times every few months. It was so weird.

 

loki-scared.gif.b007a25fab5ff5f3f884c498b4c28eca.gif

 

And THAT is a scary kind of headache, those are literally all the symptoms that drs say "don't ignore this go to the ER" because of like aneurisms and stuff. Holy yikes. I'm so glad it wasn't something more serious. 

I do wonder if it's something sort of genetic, if you sister and mother get migraines and you get these ice-pick headaches, the correlation there makes me wonder how connected they are. 

 

27 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

Both of these sound terrifying! 😬

 

Aquarii's sound scary, but mine I just kind of find annoying LOL. Like "ugh I'm trying to type and I lost the use of half my fingers. Inconvenient."

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2 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

loki-scared.gif.b007a25fab5ff5f3f884c498b4c28eca.gif

 

And THAT is a scary kind of headache, those are literally all the symptoms that drs say "don't ignore this go to the ER" because of like aneurisms and stuff. Holy yikes. I'm so glad it wasn't something more serious. 

I do wonder if it's something sort of genetic, if you sister and mother get migraines and you get these ice-pick headaches, the correlation there makes me wonder how connected they are.

 

Yeah, the first time it happened, I was like "am I dying? Is this how it ends?" But then I survived and proceeded to not see a doctor about it for like a year or something, when it started happening multiple times a day for a week or so at a time. Then I was like "ok, so whatever this is, it isn't killing me instantly, but maybe it is like a tumor or something killing me slowly?" But then I saw a doctor, got scanned, and was fine. I still don't know specifically what triggers it, but it almost never happens anymore. 

Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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5 minutes ago, Aquarii said:

But then I survived and proceeded to not see a doctor about it for like a year or something

 

It seems we have near-identical reactions to medical malfunctions that are supposed to be concerning. 

 

im-dying-jake.gif

 

"Oh it seems I didn't. Interesting development."

 

ExemplaryFarawayAfricanwildcat-size_rest

 

"Moving on."

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I must control my THOUGHTS...
THOUGHTS become WORDS
WORDS become ACTIONS
ACTIONS define your CHARACTER
CHARACTER determines your DESTINY
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22 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

 

It seems we have near-identical reactions to medical malfunctions that are supposed to be concerning. 

 

im-dying-jake.gif

 

"Oh it seems I didn't. Interesting development."

 

ExemplaryFarawayAfricanwildcat-size_rest

 

"Moving on."

 

Lol, that is pretty accurate, yes.

 

21 minutes ago, Happienumber said:

 

Thank the trees. 

Would they have even had a treatment for you if it kept continuing?

 

Not really. It only comes on randomly and only lasts for a few seconds to a minute or so. They don't have a treatment to prevent it from happening, and it is over too quickly to really treat. I mean, I think they said they could maybe do some injection into my head if it was happening a lot to maybe subdue it for a few days/weeks or something. But not a full preventative measure.

Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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9 hours ago, Aquarii said:

Not really. It only comes on randomly and only lasts for a few seconds to a minute or so. They don't have a treatment to prevent it from happening


that sounds like it could be really debilitating if it continued on.

😬

I must control my THOUGHTS...
THOUGHTS become WORDS
WORDS become ACTIONS
ACTIONS define your CHARACTER
CHARACTER determines your DESTINY
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6 minutes ago, Happienumber said:


that sounds like it could be really debilitating if it continued on.

😬

 

It was more annoying than anything, because even at its worst it only happend a few times a day, and only for a few seconds. Though, I always felt kinda off for a few hours after it happened. It didn't hurt, and I don't even know how to describe it, but something just felt off about my brain, lol. I mean, more than usual 😆

 

It was kinda terrifying when it happened while driving, especially because it is really hard to hear or see anything for a few seconds as it is happening.

Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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Ending week one at 225/180 for training minutes. 
part of this is sort of a cheat but I’m counting it.

 

because I’m house sitting I’m no longer in the “fully no contact with outside world” COVID bubble so I’m took this opportunity to visit some friends who are fully vaccinated and also work from home so I felt safe doing it. 
I discovered I’m both extremely good and horrifically bad at ping pong. 
I apparently have better reflexes than I thought, yet also don’t know the rules at all. My one friend was like “holy crap, you’ve gotta give it to her, she’s hitting everything.” But I guess there’s a whole lot of them you’re not supposed to hit because it was out of bounds and the other team loses a point or you get a point or something if you DONT touch it. But my brain was like “single track, fruit ninja GO!”

The others were staying in like their own 5 foot radius and I was running all over the place, jumping up to hit ones way over my head, drenched with sweat lol 😂 I somehow made it into a major workout. We played for two hours and I’m counting it as training because some of the movements were very similar to staff work, and it’s good hand eye coordination training. 
 

Spoiler

And now I’m going into my weird but common post-having-a-good-time anxiety spiral! Yay!

everyone hates me and I was super annoying and they would have asked me to leave if not for polite manners! Look at all these cringe things I said! Wow I was an arrogant jerk! I talked too much, too loud, or didn’t speak when I should have, came off as aloof, literally everything I did was wrong!

 

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I must control my THOUGHTS...
THOUGHTS become WORDS
WORDS become ACTIONS
ACTIONS define your CHARACTER
CHARACTER determines your DESTINY
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10 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Happie, im sorry you are struggling with that spiral. 

 

How do you feel now?

 

You are an amazing, cool, kind person and i am sure your friends love you like we do xx

 

What she said. ☝️

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On 1/8/2022 at 12:11 PM, Happienumber said:

But the entire-side-of-body thing has only been one or two times, usually if things go numb it's three fingers on one hand (and half the hand) or three toes (and half the foot) idk what's so special about three.  That happens sometimes even when the migraine isn't even very severe pain-wise. 

Ooh! I might maybe have a suggestion here if the three fingers are the last three fingers, ie. not the thumb and index. I had cubital tunnel syndrome for a while and that is the exact symptom. Doctor said it's when you have made the ulnar nerve angry because it is rubbing on something (usually something around your elbow), then it gets swollen, then it angries up more easily, cue cycle. Usually you get the numbness when either your arm is bent or you have been leaning on your elbow. Quickest way to get it to go away is to hold the arm straight for a while and leave it that way. Annoying, but it works. The foot is probably built the same way nervewise. I don't know how this is related to a migraine, except that maybe it makes the nerves swell just a little, or maybe you are more likely to lean or hold yourself in ways that put pressure on the nerve?

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Going out and socializing with people is surprisingly stressful when you have been in a bubble for a long time. It takes a lot of energy.

 

On 1/7/2022 at 5:56 PM, Happienumber said:

135/180 minutes for today. I did a little more kali stick work. Rewatching the video I'm seeing that I'm not chambering the stick at my hip low enough. It went from bad > better when I started thinking about it as circles like basic flow got my sliding the stick up and down the side of my body smoother, but still not low enough. 

 

I love the progression you show over the course of the video.

 

With a different sound track, that would look like you are threatening the camera, or the point of view character.

 

How are things going outside of training? I know those are not your main goals this challenge, but that doesn't mean you had to put everything else down.

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Spoiler

I struggle with that spiral too sometimes. I start introverting and way overthinking  everything I said and did. For me, it helps to tell my husband my thoughts, he is good at reminding me that I am overthinking it. Do you have someone you can talk to when you feel like this? Or you could just journal. Sometimes just getting the thoughts in my head someway is helpful, and I can move on. You are kind and loving, and I am sure people thought you were great.

I loved your description of playing ping pong!

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"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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Sorry I fricked off into oblivion, I fell into a bit of a depression cave and watched so much television. I am NOT a huge tv watcher in general but I think since I posted last I watched all of stranger things, all of squid game, and the first 3.5 seasons of the blacklist. Like....that seems like too many hours. I mean, not even in the "wow I watched too much tv" way but in a "I posted on saturday and it's wednesday how did I actually do that that's like almost 100 hours of television. " sort of way. 

I MUST have watched some of that last week and didn't realized it was on Thursday or friday but STILL. Too much TV. And I didn't even enjoy myself. 

 

45/180 minutes so far for the week, I emerged from my cave this afternoon for some reason and decided to practice 9-count lightsaber attack form basics. First time trying it, so my form is sloppy, but boy it doesn't look like much yet I was sweating after 45 minutes of this:

 

 

I want to start practicing these in very slow deliberate moves like every day if I can motivate myself to do so. 

 

On 1/9/2022 at 2:21 AM, Salinger said:

i am sure your friends love you like we do xx

 

I can usually get around to this way of thinking after a nights sleep but it seems to have derailed me a few days this time....

 

2 hours ago, Mistr said:

Going out and socializing with people is surprisingly stressful when you have been in a bubble for a long time. It takes a lot of energy.

 

And I honestly think THIS has a lot to do with it. 

 

1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

Do you have someone you can talk to when you feel like this?

 

Honestly the issue with this particular spiral is that the closer the people are to me the worse it is, so the people I would normally trust more are the people I'm suddenly the most convinced hate me. It's a pretty textbook symptom of my BPD and something I need to write down to discuss with my therapist on Monday. If I had thought of it, I could have talked to her about it TODAY but of course it didn't cross my mind LOL. 

 

7yn0u3jldd371.jpg?auto=webp&s=65c9a704e8c60e432e66ce42ddc50b433d1fa381

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

How are things going outside of training? I know those are not your main goals this challenge, but that doesn't mean you had to put everything else down.

 

I'm enjoying my time house-sitting, although it's going massively fast-- possibly because I dissociated most of the last three days lol. Instant time travel. I can't belive I'm leaving this job tomorrow already.

 

1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

I loved your description of playing ping pong!

 

Pingpong is fruit ninja and I'll die on this hill LOL I just have to learn what bombs to avoid. 

 

1 hour ago, Jupiter said:

Hey Happie, hope you're doing okay. 

 

Today, at least this afternoon, is better. Thanks.

 

5 hours ago, Aquarii said:

image.jpeg.30f6305048a702c6f9f74f527d8fdf1a.jpeg

 

The last three days:

 

tumblr_31f02352dcb0604d4188803491eb10ef_

 

At around 3pm today:

 

yz16VMA3s8nx.gif

 

For no definable reason. But I'm hoping it sticks lol.

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I must control my THOUGHTS...
THOUGHTS become WORDS
WORDS become ACTIONS
ACTIONS define your CHARACTER
CHARACTER determines your DESTINY
MyFitnessPal | tumblr 

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1 hour ago, Happienumber said:

At around 3pm today:

 

yz16VMA3s8nx.gif

 

For no definable reason. But I'm hoping it sticks lol.

 

I'm glad you're feeling better. :) 

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