Simple and Sinister - 2022

[Unix]

New year, new (and very old) goals as well. 

 

I wont be lying, and i will that last year has been the worst and the best year as well. The first 8 months has been so bad that i considered suicide once again. I got out of my toxic relationship, well, she left me but it was necessary. Lesson learned, never try to help people that don't want to be helped. 

 

I decided to embrace backstabbing and be even more open about myself and about forming relationships with people. In fact i have always been kinda concerned about people backstabbing and making fun of me, but since she left me i decided to embrace it fully. Better to have a thicker skin than to avoid hard feelings.

 

My dark shadow small talks and experiences has been game changing. I spend a big deal of my time alone, but i never felt as satisfied and as tranquil by myself as in these 4 months. Perhaps its something temporary, but it helped me tremendously. There also was a book that explained the existence of other tools to deal with other problems, and i want to master them all.

So, these are the goals for 2022.

 

Physical:

1. Weight 95kg or less before the new years eve. I am at around 127kg now.

2. Manage to do 100 kettlebell swings in 5m with a 24kg kettlebell.

3. Start and keep doing boxing at least twice per week.

4. Master the 6 fundamental stretches. 

 

Mental:

1. Talk to my dark shadow without the need to have my eyes closed and without the need to have music 

2. Silence therapy: i noticed that its very difficult for me to not have any white noise or music, or a podcast, or having something in the background. And its not good, Whatever i  go hiking or anything i always have the need to be listening to something, podcasts, music, you name it. It makes me dependant on these things and it feels as i am feeling lost without having any noise in my head. Its not exactly clear on how i can measure this goal, but something needs to be done.

3. Read 7 books. 52 books per year is bullshit, 7 is more than enough 

4. Master every other mental tecnique in the tools book. 

 

Productivity?:

1.Mind map the following books: The laws of human nature, the tools, the power of habit and some others as soon as i learn how to mindmap properly.

2. Lean those books almost by memory. Not word for word, but use the memory tecniques that i have learned. 

3. Learn by memory the 100 key words that i have been practicing. 

4. Partecipate in every single challenge on NF

5. Get my "Thinking in bets" discord up and running. If you want to join it, its something related to better decision making that i first saw in the book thinking in bets. No money involved, don't worry  https://discord.gg/8n6nBQCDvX

6. End up with At least 200 days free of my addiction  

7. End the year with at least 11k in savings in my bank

 

For now, Its a pretty full and demanding list. Things will change for sure, and some goals will be dismissed or failed. But its good. We all make mistakes

 

 

[Unix]

Day 3 - Monday [Weight  : 000.0kg]

Challenge Day 1

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Stretching done! workout not done.

 

Waking up:  1       Addiction:  1         Addiction free days:  1

Perfect dayz

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  1         Cooking: 1

Perfect. I had an amazing breakfast and ate only once.

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

I managed to do 2 potato times, 41m each. 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

I am reading the book "Power to the people" for strenght training. And, going to talk to my dark half now. We are creating an inception like kind of world in these days

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 1           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 1          Habit Four :0

I managed to not stop in the kitchen, and i woke up early as well

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything

Day total : 15

Awesome day,  this stuff definetly works.

[Unix]

Day 4- Tuesday [Weight  : 000.0kg]

Challenge Day 2

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Stretching done! workout not done.

 

Waking up:  -1       Addiction:  -1       

Failed both 😐

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  1         Cooking: 1

Perfect. I had an amazing breakfast and ate only once. I can feel some hunger, hopefully it will motivate me to wake up early tomorrow lol cooked eggs

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

I managed to do 2 potato times, 41m each. 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Its hard to keep focus on my buddie. The world building has to have a meaning, i'm still working on that

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 1           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 0          Habit Four :0

I managed to not stop in the kitchen, but i haven't woke up early

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 10            Addiction free days:  1

Pretty good day. Feeling hunger but its definetly something manageable. Hopefully the hunger will motivate me to get up early!

Tomorrow is also weighting day.

[Unix]

Day 5- Wednesday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 3

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Stretching done! workout not done.

 

Waking up:  1       Addiction:  1      

Went amazing

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  1         Cooking: 1

Perfect as well. I ate two mozzarellas as well. Cooked steak

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

2 potato times, 41m each. 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

I think i have an idea on how to create a mental space to store things. I am reading the power of habit

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 1           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 1          Habit Four :0

Didn't stopped in the kitchen and woke up early as well

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 15            Addiction free days:  2

Very good day. More to come

[Kratos]

On 1/2/2022 at 5:42 AM, Unix said:

New year, new (and very old) goals as well. 

 

I wont be lying, and i will that last year has been the worst and the best year as well. The first 8 months has been so bad that i considered suicide once again. I got out of my toxic relationship, well, she left me but it was necessary. Lesson learned, never try to help people that don't want to be helped. 

 

I decided to embrace backstabbing and be even more open about myself and about forming relationships with people. In fact i have always been kinda concerned about people backstabbing and making fun of me, but since she left me i decided to embrace it fully. Better to have a thicker skin than to avoid hard feelings.

 

My dark shadow small talks and experiences has been game changing. I spend a big deal of my time alone, but i never felt as satisfied and as tranquil by myself as in these 4 months. Perhaps its something temporary, but it helped me tremendously. There also was a book that explained the existence of other tools to deal with other problems, and i want to master them all.

So, these are the goals for 2022.

 

Physical:

1. Weight 95kg or less before the new years eve. I am at around 127kg now.

2. Manage to do 100 kettlebell swings in 5m with a 24kg kettlebell.

3. Start and keep doing boxing at least twice per week.

4. Master the 6 fundamental stretches. 

 

Mental:

1. Talk to my dark shadow without the need to have my eyes closed and without the need to have music 

2. Silence therapy: i noticed that its very difficult for me to not have any white noise or music, or a podcast, or having something in the background. And its not good, Whatever i  go hiking or anything i always have the need to be listening to something, podcasts, music, you name it. It makes me dependant on these things and it feels as i am feeling lost without having any noise in my head. Its not exactly clear on how i can measure this goal, but something needs to be done.

3. Read 7 books. 52 books per year is bullshit, 7 is more than enough 

4. Master every other mental tecnique in the tools book. 

 

Productivity?:

1.Mind map the following books: The laws of human nature, the tools, the power of habit and some others as soon as i learn how to mindmap properly.

2. Lean those books almost by memory. Not word for word, but use the memory tecniques that i have learned. 

3. Learn by memory the 100 key words that i have been practicing. 

4. Partecipate in every single challenge on NF

5. Get my "Thinking in bets" discord up and running. If you want to join it, its something related to better decision making that i first saw in the book thinking in bets. No money involved, don't worry  https://discord.gg/8n6nBQCDvX

6. End up with At least 200 days free of my addiction  

7. End the year with at least 11k in savings in my bank

 

For now, Its a pretty full and demanding list. Things will change for sure, and some goals will be dismissed or failed. But its good. We all make mistakes

 

 

Nice goals here. The silence therapy is a big one. I'm in the same boat where the silence/boredom/loneliness can feel so oppressive that you just want something on in the background to cut it out. I remind myself that only a few decades ago, silence was what everyone dealt with most of the time. 

 

Also reading 7 books seems like a pretty great goal for the year. I'm reading Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It's a great book that is helping me a lot in my NF journey.

 

Good luck with your challenge. Wishing you success!

 

[Unix]

Thank man

[Unix]

2 hours ago, thealienthing said:

Nice goals here. The silence therapy is a big one. I'm in the same boat where the silence/boredom/loneliness can feel so oppressive that you just want something on in the background to cut it out. I remind myself that only a few decades ago, silence was what everyone dealt with most of the time. 

 

Also reading 7 books seems like a pretty great goal for the year. I'm reading Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It's a great book that is helping me a lot in my NF journey.

 

Good luck with your challenge. Wishing you success!

 

I found that this way of tracking things is actually somehow helping. I don't want to ruin everything with red squares, so i am more motivated to have everything full of green. 

[Unix]

Day 6- Thursday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 4

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Stretching done! workout not done.

 

Waking up:  1       Addiction:  1      

Went amazing as yesterday!

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  1         Cooking: 1

Perfect as well. I ate two mozzarellas as well. Cooked steak for breakfast

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

4 potato times, 41m each. 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Still reading the power of habit

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 1           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 1          Habit Four :0

Woke up early. I am reworking my habits 

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 15            Addiction free days:  3

It went pretty good. The day was pretty boring but well worth it 

[Kratos]

Hell yeah! Nice work on skipping the addictive behavior. I bet a lot of people here have demons of their own that they're facing that take the form of addiction, myself included. Keep at it!

[Unix]

22 hours ago, thealienthing said:

Hell yeah! Nice work on skipping the addictive behavior. I bet a lot of people here have demons of their own that they're facing that take the form of addiction, myself included. Keep at it!

its not as bad. Today i relapsed, but its good! i have been pretty good on this week overall

[Unix]

Day 7- Friday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 5

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 1

Stretching done! Did my first weight training workout since like 4 years  

 

Waking up:  1       Addiction:  -1   

Failed the addiction

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  -1         Cooking: 0

first meal perfect. i messed up cause i had a 2nd meal

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

1 potato times, 41m each. 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Still reading the power of habit

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 1           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 1          Habit Four :0

Woke up early. I am reworking my habits 

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 11           Addiction free days:  3

Not that good of a day, but could have been much worse!

[Kratos]

Nice job getting back to weight training. Excited for you! 

[Unix]

Day 8- Saturday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 6

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 1

Second weight training with deadlifts and kettlebells _D

 

Waking up:  1       Addiction:  1   

Done both

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  0         Cooking: 0

Cheat day :P, well deserved

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 0

I decided to spend some time with my sister instead of studying

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Still reading the power of habit, trying to associate the crossing of my fingers with the shadow

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 1           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 1          Habit Four :0

Woke up early. I am currently reworking my habits 

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 14           Addiction free days:  4

Good day

i went to dog training as well  

[Kratos]

Nice work! Happy to hear things are working for you!

[Unix]

Fell off the vagon in these days. Gotta start again

[Unix]

Day 13- Thursday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 11

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Managed to at least do my stretching 

 

Waking up:  -1       Addiction:  -1   

Failed both. but its fine 

 

Meal one:   0          Meal two:  0         Cooking: 0

One meal only but not really healthy 

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 0

was barely able to stretch. Still a success 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Uhhh, i failed hard about it in the last days

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 0           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 0          Habit Four :0

Work in progress

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 5           Addiction free days:  4

Not a good day but back on track again. Don't stop believing  

[Unix]

 

[Unix]

Day 14- Friday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 12

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Managed to at least do my stretching 

 

Waking up:  -1       Addiction:  1   

Only failed the addiction

 

Meal one:   0          Meal two:  1         Cooking: 0

One meal and decently healthy. Still better than two unhealthy 

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

Had some success in the studying my kettlebell programs 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Gonna talk to the shadow now 

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 0           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 0          Habit Four :0

Work in progress

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 5           Addiction free days:  9

Pretty decent day. Nothing to add

[Unix]

Day 15- Saturday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 13

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 1

105kg deadlifts

 

Waking up:  1      Addiction:  1   

woke at 6. Pretty good considering its saturday 

 

Meal one:   0          Meal two:  0         Cooking: 0

Cheat day 

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 1

Meh

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 1

Gonna talk to the shadow now . I am falling behind on this 

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 0           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 0          Habit Four :0

Work in progress

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 11           Addiction free days:  5

Pretty standard saturday. Could have been worse  

[Unix]

Day 16- Sunday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 14

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Only did some easy stretching 

 

Waking up:  1      Addiction:  0   

Relapsed into addiction

 

Meal one:   -1          Meal two:  0         Cooking: 0

Not goot 

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 0

Haven't done anything 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 0

Gonna talk to the shadow now . I am falling behind on this 

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 0           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 0          Habit Four :0

Work in progress

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

Done everything 

 

Day total : 6           Addiction free days:  5

Not an extremely good day, but i went hiking, so it was fun 

[Unix]

Day 18- Tuesday [Weight  : 126.8kg]

Challenge Day 16

 

Stretching: 1       Workout   : 0

Meh, bad times

 

Waking up:  -1      Addiction:  -1   

Failed both

 

Meal one:   1          Meal two:  0         Cooking: 0

Not perfect but acceptable 

 

Memory Training: 0                                   Studying: 0

😐 

Split personality: 1            Novelty of the day: 0

Its really getting hard to talk with it now 

 

Challenge special 1: 0         Habit one: 0           Habit three:0

Challenge special 2: 0         Habit two: 0          Habit Four :0

Work in progress

 

Teeth: 2               Update this topic: 1                 Expenses?: 1

...

Day total : 5           Addiction free days:  5

Feeling so tired in these two weeks 

[Kratos]

Hang in there! We have rough days and that is okay. It's all about doing our best to increase the ratio of days when we make the right choices. We change our habits and character with each day of honest work.

[Unix]

16 hours ago, thealienthing said:

Hang in there! We have rough days and that is okay. It's all about doing our best to increase the ratio of days when we make the right choices. We change our habits and character with each day of honest work.

 

Thanks. I am trying so many things and 99% of them fail, this is why its so draining. I also tore my leather jacket today  

[Unix]

Day 19- Wednesday   Addiction free days: 5

Challenge Day 17

Stretching: 1          Workout   : 0                                                Meal one: 1           Cooking: 1

Stretching done. I would say that i almost mastered this stretch. Didn't worked out. I had one meal with beef and a lot of other things. Had some fruit, but nothing too sinful  i also cooked some eggs. It aint much but its honest work 

Waking up:  -1      Addiction:  -1                                              Memory : 0           Studying: 1

Didn't woke up. Relapsed. Haven't studied numbers, but i have read for half hour. I haven't studied memory as well, rip. Am i boring? perhaps, but lets see if it works.

Is this format any good? I am just throwing stuff to see what sticks and what works for me xD i wonder if this text is going to bother me  

Dark Half: 1                     Newsz: 0                                              Then->IF: 0          Numbers: 0

My dark half progresses are not going too well. Actually i think its because i am quite aimless with it. Except than befriending it, its not sure on how i should approach it. I am developing a habit of evoking it when i cross my fingers. Then if not done, its new. Numbers is going to be a memory thing. Which i just put in here

Habit0:1           Habit1:1                          Habit2:1                         Habit3:1               Habit4:1

Habit5:1           Habit6:1                          Habit7:1                         Habit8:1               Habit9:1

Work in progress for my habit. I am not sure if tracking this many things is actually good or beneficial but we will see. Habits still need to be defined. I want to define even the most mundane things. Boring? it surely is, but whatever, i am just looking for something that works. This is mostly work in progress

Teeth:2                      Update this:1                                            Expenses?:1      Goals Read:0

Done! Goals reading not done, i added it right now. Expenses none, topic updated. I added a day feeling kind of tracker, to just see how i felt about the day. This can be my journaling i would say  

Day score:7                                   Failure counter :????                       Day feeling: 8/10!             

 

What can be improved?: My challenge is looking quite dull. Sleep pattern can be improved. Eating habits can too. For now lets stop here                           

 

[Unix]

Hmm, gonna try something new. I will use my excel spreadsheet as a journal, since i can access it from everywhere. 

 

A different approach. I will have a detailed "IF---->THEN" kind of spreadsheet. I want to be ready for most things that can go wrong with my daily routine. 

 

New task: use my shadow to help me learn things by memory. I also want to create spaces where i can learn by memory things. Like my goal list.

 

You know what? I am going to add Goal reading to my daily Task List