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Jean deals with what matters


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Well, let's do this!

 

I had sort of planned great intentions for this year, most of it will probably happen in a messy way, but it will happen nonetheless. I am not ready for this, but few have been the times when I've taken the luxury to take the path I was ready for. Balance, to me, is more of a dynamic thing than a static one: not staying long enough on the crumbling part for it to crumble under me. I can do it.

 

I don't have the energy for either grand or many things, instead, I will focus on one single habit, the one that truly matters:

 

Go to sleep by 9:30 pm, wake up by 4:30 am.

 

That's it. Most other things will sort of fall in place as I hop on my merry way, oriented chaos is kind of my thing.

 

 

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  • That's Metal 1

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Here with whet stones and honing straps. ;) 

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Reading Challenge Thread 2022

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38

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Here to follow your journey, pretty sure your goal will help give the needed energy you need for the rest of it.

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE isn't cutting it!

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 69

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|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Welcome y'all and all and thank you for joining me on this journey. I'm afraid I will skip Week 1 as I will be building igloos and sleeping in them and the people I'm doing it with enjoy spending joyful moments until late in the night without caring much about the time as much as I do. The lack of power outlets to allow the spending of precious battery power on the internet is also part of the picture.

 

One thing I tend to do too is sharing random music videos that fit my current mood so that may happen here too.

 

As a matter of fact, here is one. :)

 

 

  • Like 3

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Alrighty folks, I'm back! T'was less igloos and more pseudo-tents but it was fun nonetheless. I've got enough energy to win a few battles and if I choose which ones wisely, I can win the war. Let's get to it!

 

Friday, February 18:

Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 3

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 3

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 2

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 4

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 3

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Your sleeping seems to be back on track... aside from Monday and Sunday, but going back to sleep counts as a win, doesn't it?

Reading Challenge Thread 2022

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38

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Woke up at 3am today. xD

 

The win is probably on its way but I have such a backlog that it feels like it will take forever. Tiny drops make an ocean, though, the important part is to keep on and not drop the habit. :)

  • Like 3

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

Got a job interview today. Let's just say this world isn't ready for me... xD Not sure I'm willing to turn it around against itself.

 

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 4

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

 

This is not looking too conclusive. xD

 

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 1

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

You have been doing great on getting to bed on time. That is an excellent habit to establish.

 

Have you looked at factors that might be waking you up? Does someone drive by in a noisy truck at 3:30am? Are there foods or beverages you consume on days you have poor sleep but not on days you have good sleep?

 

Does it help to get up and do something for a bit, then go back to sleep? I managed to finish a dense book on Zen by reading it in the middle of the night. It would put me to sleep in the daytime. I figured either it would help me get back to sleep or I would learn something, and that was true.

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Level 62  Viking paladin

My current challenge   Battle log 

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Oh, I have an awful bed and I drink too much coffee. The first is an ongoing long term project (moving, which is mainly dependent on financial parameters), the second seems to be the real culprit. Drinking coffee being my way to handle stress too (I associate coffee breaks with time when I can't be assailed by problems/situations/others), it would take some mental energy to address that issue so I'm not doing it much for now.

 

I also usually go to bed thinking about all the things I haven't been able to perform that day and that I will have to do the day after (in my head, because I know I won't do most of them: there's too many and new ones keep coming. Whoever invented the phone and emails can go back and bury the blueprints for their inventions as far as I'm concerned) so my body reacts like I'm going to bed while a lion is around ready to eat me and seems to be trying to settle on as little sleep as it can, which may help if the problem was a lion but doesn't when it is low mental energy due to excess stress. xD

 

I'm very tired these days, so the hours I spend in bed after having woken up seem to be among the most peaceful and battery refilling time I have (I can feel my body sinking into the mattress, which is a sign that it's giving up being all stressed and all, which I interpret as good). I lack the willpower to get up and do something at that time.

 

That being said, my next focus would be getting out and having a walk in the morning, before work. I don't want to tackle too much at once, so will keep focusing only on the going to bed time for now, but it could help set my mind in the right place at the start of the day.

 

 

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 3

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

Planning on not holding the target for tonight: I really need to find a way to have energy and no headache during weekends. Also not having to do things to keep my life afloat. My job situation (current and opportunity) is starting to look like a terrible one and I'm not sure what I can do to get into one where things are actually achievable and I'd get time for my own pursuits.

 

We'll see how that turns out.

 

Edit: It seems I'm still always making the mistake of thinking the path forward involves me getting better and making better use of my time while I maybe should start using what I've accumulated to find better living conditions. I don't know how I can handle that as of yet, so I'm still kind of stuck, though I trust myself to handle the moving forward properly.

 

After all, fleeing forward has been a theme in my life these past years (Flucht nach vorn = Flight forward in German):

 

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 2

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment
On 2/25/2022 at 11:48 PM, Jean said:

Oh, I have an awful bed and I drink too much coffee. The first is an ongoing long term project (moving, which is mainly dependent on financial parameters), the second seems to be the real culprit. Drinking coffee being my way to handle stress too (I associate coffee breaks with time when I can't be assailed by problems/situations/others), it would take some mental energy to address that issue so I'm not doing it much for now.

 

Getting off of caffeine is a difficult and worthwhile project. I did it by substituting other hot beverages. You can still have your break, but drink something else. Herbal tea offers a lot of variety. Another option is grain-based beverages. I am currently drinking Pero. Kaffree Roma is very similar. Both are made in Portugal, so you might be able to find them. I think Kaffree Roma dissolves better, but my regular grocery store stopped carrying it. None of these taste like coffee. If you really like the taste of coffee, you could switch to decaffeinated. That does not completely remove caffeine, but it reduces it quite a bit.

 

Cutting back gradually also has the benefit of not causing headaches and fatigue from withdrawal.

 

On 2/25/2022 at 11:48 PM, Jean said:

I also usually go to bed thinking about all the things I haven't been able to perform that day and that I will have to do the day after (in my head, because I know I won't do most of them: there's too many and new ones keep coming. Whoever invented the phone and emails can go back and bury the blueprints for their inventions as far as I'm concerned) so my body reacts like I'm going to bed while a lion is around ready to eat me and seems to be trying to settle on as little sleep as it can, which may help if the problem was a lion but doesn't when it is low mental energy due to excess stress. xD

 

Yes, I hear you on the to-do list woes. @Scaly Freak gave me a tip that helped: at the end of the day, write down your top three things to get done the next day. If it helps to get them out of your head, you can write down the other things on another list as bonus point tasks. You already know that you won't do most of them, so pick just two or three that you can do. Then you can go to bed knowing that you have already got that sorted out for the next day.

 

Several people have also reported good results using a guided meditation to help let go of the day and get the brain to relax.

 

On 2/25/2022 at 11:48 PM, Jean said:

I'm very tired these days, so the hours I spend in bed after having woken up seem to be among the most peaceful and battery refilling time I have (I can feel my body sinking into the mattress, which is a sign that it's giving up being all stressed and all, which I interpret as good). I lack the willpower to get up and do something at that time.

 

Resting is good. Almost as good as sleep.

 

On 2/25/2022 at 11:48 PM, Jean said:

That being said, my next focus would be getting out and having a walk in the morning, before work. I don't want to tackle too much at once, so will keep focusing only on the going to bed time for now, but it could help set my mind in the right place at the start of the day.

 

Getting outside in the morning is a great way to start the day. Especially as the sun rises earlier and the weather gets nicer.

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Level 62  Viking paladin

My current challenge   Battle log 

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Thanks @Mistr for the tips, I'll answer later (probably this evening, so in 14ish hours)..

 

For now, well, this went about as expected:

 

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:30 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 1

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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19 hours ago, Mistr said:

Herbal tea offers a lot of variety.

Indeed. I find that the difference between (herbal) tea and coffee is that (herbal) tea is something to be taken when you are taking the time for it, while coffee can be gobbed down. I guess I'm also using my coffee intake as stimmy shots. I have to work on the mental effect but also, as you suggest, work on adding things rather than substracting, by having something else to drink on hand. I'm mainly working on water, which works when I take it out of small bottles. Now not to forfeit refilling them instead of walking down to the coffee machine... ^^

 

19 hours ago, Mistr said:

If you really like the taste of coffee, you could switch to decaffeinated.

giphy.gif

 

I once refrained myself from serving a glass of water to a customer asking for a decaffeinated coffee with saccharin when I was working as a waiter. Decaffeinated. is. not. coffee. Same as Coke zero sugar is no Coke. I have respect for my poison, take that hideous thing away from me.

 

19 hours ago, Mistr said:

at the end of the day, write down your top three things to get done the next day. If it helps to get them out of your head, you can write down the other things on another list as bonus point tasks. You already know that you won't do most of them, so pick just two or three that you can do. Then you can go to bed knowing that you have already got that sorted out for the next day.

I'm not sure I have the strength for that. Thinking of 3 things only makes me think of the dozens of other things at the same level of importance that are waiting to be done and that I had forgotten even existed while I was focusing my mind on those 3 things. My list usually holds a dozen things that need to be done. Writing them down helps but I've never managed to keep the habit for long as I quickly start thinking it's pointless since most of those things never get done. Maybe something to add in a later challenge.

 

19 hours ago, Mistr said:

Several people have also reported good results using a guided meditation to help let go of the day and get the brain to relax.

I've heard good things about it too. That's also something I have to ponder adding in my daily "soldier routine" for when it will be time to start implementing it. I think rigid discipline and schedules might be a way forward, as well as carrying tasks until they're fully done, from getting ready to putting the tools I've used back in the spot they belong to, fully cleaned. I'm not ready for it, but it's coming.

 

19 hours ago, Mistr said:

Resting is good. Almost as good as sleep.

Indeed! Thanks for your words and ideas. I'll get some sleep and see what to do next. :)

  • Like 1

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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It's funny having days of apparently more clarity mixed into the foggy ones. As I like to remind myself, it seems that what I'm doing is working. Planning based on pessimistic parameters seems to do that: providing random boosts along the way when things don't go as bad as planned. I have to remind myself that:

  • my job security is set. The world isn't out to get me, what I'm doing is good enough.
  • my financial security is set. The path forward will still have a few rocks but they're just the last remnents of the path that lead me here.
  • I live in a safe, democratic country providing for most of the necessities of my life. I am healthy and properly insured against most of life's potential hardships and am very lucky in that regard.
  • I intimately know my way and will walk it down as time goes by. I might appear to be lost at times but just because I'm wandering doesn't mean that I am. Not all those who do are. I will find peace of mind because that is the path I am on, though I have to remember that doing so before 40 would be boring and it is fully normal that I am juggling with pointy rocks at times.

Now to the future:

  • my professional project is working, I live in an area that has the ability to ward itself against natural hazards, shrinking of the availability of natural resources and geopolitical disorders. I want to make it happen.
  • my network is there and willing to help me. It's time to activate it again, spend time with friends and stop letting feelings of inadequacy drive that part of my life.
  • my sentimental life is a bare field because that's what I've done with it: put it in a closet while I was building up my life, until it was ready to put it on display once again. That time is now, the window for action isn't that large and doors will close as time passes, this should take high priority.

Let's make these stars dance to the tune of a challenging but fulfilling future with more freedom, opportunities and solidarity. We are on the path to there though maybe we have to go through the darkness first. Humans learn that way, humanity prevails.

 

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:30 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

  • Like 2

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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