[Jean]

I didn't go to bed in time, that was not a good call, as I've been tired most of the day.

 

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:30 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[Jean]

Twice in a row, I wanted more time for myself.

 

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[toracorbat]

Time for yourself is important as well. Is there any chance you can set a timer in the evening to start your me-time?

[Jean]

Basically all time since I get home is me time (one of the advantages of living alone), though it's not always quality one and most often spent laying around, so this is more about disciplining and energizing myself than setting special times dedicated to myself. One thing I've realized lately is that time cannot be extended and everything has a price, which has put a stretch on "me time" since the time not spent recovering couldn't be used for other things the day after. It's also still a matter of finding balance.

 

It's been a strange weekend. While I had low physical energy, I actually had mental availability on my own time on Saturday, for once, so this weekend has been mentally regenerating, which is very good. Sunday has been the opposite and I've spent the day in bed trying to rest. I'm still tired and will go to sleep soon.

 

Saturday, March 5: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Friday, March 4: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 am.

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[toracorbat]

11 hours ago, Jean said:

One thing I've realized lately is that time cannot be extended and everything has a price, which has put a stretch on "me time" since the time not spent recovering couldn't be used for other things the day after.

This is so so true. Take care! 

[Jean]

Sunday March 6: Went to bed by 10:00 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, March 5: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Friday, March 4: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 am.

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[Jean]

Monday, March 7: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

 

Sunday March 6: Went to bed by 10:00 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, March 5: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Friday, March 4: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 am.

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

 

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

 

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[Mistr]

I also tend to fall into the trap of wanting "me time", then staying up too late and having to pay the price the next day.

 

The solution that seems to work best for me is to lighten up on myself. Yes, there are many things that need to be done. So many things that some are just going to have to wait. If I look at it that way, a few more things can wait a bit too.

 

That lets me take breaks to relax and do (short) fun things between other tasks. This approach helps me feel like I can have a life while facing an endless task list. YMMV

[Jean]

22 hours ago, Mistr said:

Yes, there are many things that need to be done. So many things that some are just going to have to wait. If I look at it that way, a few more things can wait a bit too.

Indeed. I'm still a novice at it but that's the path that seems to work. How do you ward yourself against the thought that so many things are waiting that nothing is actually being done? It feels at times like tackling drops one at a time won't make a difference in the ocean.

 

 

Tuesday, March 8: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Monday, March 7: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

 

Sunday March 6: Went to bed by 10:00 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, March 5: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Friday, March 4: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 am.

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

 

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

 

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[Mistr]

2 hours ago, Jean said:

Indeed. I'm still a novice at it but that's the path that seems to work. How do you ward yourself against the thought that so many things are waiting that nothing is actually being done? It feels at times like tackling drops one at a time won't make a difference in the ocean.

 

I try to alternate between things that will stay done for a while and things that will need to be done again soon (like dishes and laundry). The projects that stay done give more satisfaction, but often require more time. The repeating tasks feel good for a shorter time. I can admire the clean kitchen counter and sink for a few hours. I know it is temporary, so I appreciate it while I can. 

 

Maybe you can think of it as riding the waves in the ocean. Each wave you sail over gets you a little closer to your destination. They look alike, so it can be hard to see that you are making progress.

 

The first European travelers in the Great Plains of the US had a similar problem. There were no landmarks, just flat prairie from horizon to horizon. They dealt with it by shooting an arrow with a colored marker in the direction they wanted to travel. They went one bowshot at a time, counting how many they had done so they knew they were moving forwards.

 

A similar approach works well for big projects. Looking at the whole thing is too much. Breaking it down into pieces allows you to feel the satisfaction of making progress. There is a project management tool for doing this called a Work Breakdown Structure. The layman's approach goes like this:

1. Brainstorm tasks that need to be done to make the project happen. Write each one on a sticky note. You don't need to be completist about this, you will add more later.
2. Arrange the notes in order of dependency on a whiteboard, big piece of paper, or a wall. Some things depend on other things and some don't. You will probably have several tracks of A -> B -> C -> D, and a bunch of independent tasks that can be done flexibly at any time.  Organize them by which ones need to happen first.
3. You will probably notice that there are more things that need to fill in between other things. Write more sticky notes and add them where they belong.
4. Now you have a map showing the much smaller set of things that need to be done to get the project started.
5. Pick one thing that you actually can do. When it is done, move that note to a Completed section outside your map.

The nice part about this approach is that it shows all the places where you can attack a project.  You may be waiting for something before you can do task B, but you can do task M today and that will let you do task N next week. The Completed section will get more and more full and the to-do section will get smaller.

 

Dumbledore and I did this when we were planning to sell our house and move. That was a huge endeavor. Breaking it down into small pieces helped tremendously. Most of the individual tasks were small. Keeping track of them helped us see that we were making progress and pick a thing to do next.

[Scaly Freak]

2 hours ago, Mistr said:

A similar approach works well for big projects. Looking at the whole thing is too much. Breaking it down into pieces allows you to feel the satisfaction of making progress. There is a project management tool for doing this called a Work Breakdown Structure. The layman's approach goes like this:

1. Brainstorm tasks that need to be done to make the project happen. Write each one on a sticky note. You don't need to be completist about this, you will add more later.
2. Arrange the notes in order of dependency on a whiteboard, big piece of paper, or a wall. Some things depend on other things and some don't. You will probably have several tracks of A -> B -> C -> D, and a bunch of independent tasks that can be done flexibly at any time.  Organize them by which ones need to happen first.
3. You will probably notice that there are more things that need to fill in between other things. Write more sticky notes and add them where they belong.
4. Now you have a map showing the much smaller set of things that need to be done to get the project started.
5. Pick one thing that you actually can do. When it is done, move that note to a Completed section outside your map.

The nice part about this approach is that it shows all the places where you can attack a project.  You may be waiting for something before you can do task B, but you can do task M today and that will let you do task N next week. The Completed section will get more and more full and the to-do section will get smaller.

 

Dumbledore and I did this when we were planning to sell our house and move. That was a huge endeavor. Breaking it down into small pieces helped tremendously. Most of the individual tasks were small. Keeping track of them helped us see that we were making progress and pick a thing to do next.

 

I became so much better at managing big and stressful endeavors in my personal life, after I started learning about project management at work.   

 

Glad to see I'm not the only one, it makes me feel less like it's an adulting fail on my part and makes it more obvious that, yes, like every other things adults are required to do, this is a skill that needs to be learned before we can apply it successfully.

[Jean]

Thanks for your inputs. 

 

On 3/10/2022 at 12:11 AM, Mistr said:

Maybe you can think of it as riding the waves in the ocean. Each wave you sail over gets you a little closer to your destination. They look alike, so it can be hard to see that you are making progress.

 

My own imagery is going through a forest where you keep walking and only see trees until you see the edge, at this point, it's still feeling like the wave don't stop and the ocean has no shores. More precisely, it feels like I won't have the time to carry on the journey and need to find a way to compress it. I know it doesn't work, so I'm welcoming tips to anchor the thought. Mixing different type of tasks sounds good.

 

 

On 3/10/2022 at 12:11 AM, Mistr said:

The nice part about this approach is that it shows all the places where you can attack a project.

 

That sounds great! I've been trying to implement something like that for some time and have always blamed logistics and the lack of a whiteboard, space to hang things on or others for that. I don't think I've learned my lesson enough because my thoughts are still to overpower that and get to it, even though I know that's not working right now. We'll see what happens.

 

 

On 3/10/2022 at 2:44 AM, Scaly Freak said:

I became so much better at managing big and stressful endeavors in my personal life, after I started learning about project management at work.   

 

It helps, no doubt.  I'm a bit tired of drawing Eisenhower matrices inside Eisenhower matrices in order to handle the imperatively important and crucially urgent while letting most of the rest go down the toilet (getting better at delegating could help with that part, though).

 

 

On 3/10/2022 at 2:44 AM, Scaly Freak said:

Glad to see I'm not the only one, it makes me feel less like it's an adulting fail on my part and makes it more obvious that, yes, like every other things adults are required to do, this is a skill that needs to be learned before we can apply it successfully.

 

My bet is that we are in the majority. It baffles me how, even though everybody I talk to absolutely loathes paperwork and is bad at it, we have created a society absolutely thriving on paperwork. We have not designed a world that was made for us and it is time to correct it and start acting based on our real ideas and needs rather than what we think will make us look good in society (because the other people are sometimes faking too and we're all putting up with something we'd all agree to get rid of otherwise...).

 

I'm living at a low energy level and need to put more layers to protect and nurture my energy into this challenge. Starting today, I'll be cooking and eating real meals as often as I can manage to (the plan involves cooking 7 meals a week, with 2 portions of each to cover all my dinner and supper needs). It's already not going as strong as originally designed but I don't care. I had a delicious fried chicken burger with custom everything today and that rocks!

 

Also, I'll have to take my bed time more seriously going forward (says the man who plans to pull a all-nighter to get done what he couldn't on Friday - relying on all-nighters, which I can't pull anymore anyway (but I can still get a few hours of work in during the night)- to get things done is part of the problem).

 

Saturday, March 11: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 9:30 am.

Friday, March 10: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Thursday, March 10: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Wednesday, March 9: Went to bed by 9:30, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 8: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Monday, March 7: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

 

Sunday March 6: Went to bed by 10:00 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, March 5: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Friday, March 4: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 am.

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

 

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

 

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[Jean]

I have mostly slept and not done a good chunk of what I thought needed to be done and I'm alive and everything (that is in my power) is fine. My new target game plan is to acknowledge that plan A is not achievable, throw it in the garbage can without even thinking I should go for it and make Plan B Plan A.

 

In this prospect, Plan A is the idealized version of what I think should be done if I were Superman and was living in Carebears' land and Plan B is the workable version of what I can realistically achieve with my current level of energy and environment.

 

 

Sunday, March 12: Went to bet at 10:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, March 11: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 9:30 am.

Friday, March 10: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Thursday, March 10: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Wednesday, March 9: Went to bed by 9:30, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 8: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Monday, March 7: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

 

Sunday March 6: Went to bed by 10:00 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, March 5: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 10:30 am.

Friday, March 4: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 am.

Thursday, March 3: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Wednesday, March 2: Went to bed at 10:30 pm, woke up at 6:30 am.

Tuesday, March 1: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 5:30 am.

Monday, February 28: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

 

Sunday, February 27: Went to bed at 3:30 am, woke up by 5:3 0 am (did what I had to do).

Saturday, February 26: Went to bed at 9.30 pm, woke up at 9:00 am.

Friday, February 25: Went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 6:30.

Thursday, February 24: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 1:30 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Wednesday, February 23: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, woke up at 3:00 am, kind of rested from there until 6:30 am.

Tuesday, February 22: Went to bed at 9:30 pm, got out of bed at 6:30 am.

Monday, February 21: Went to bed at 7:00 pm, woke up at 3:30, then back to sleep by 5:30 am until 7:00 am.

 

Sunday, February 20: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, woke up at 4:30 am.

Saturday, February 19: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 10 am.

Friday, February 18: Went to bed by 9:30 pm, slept until 7 am.

[Mistr]

On 3/14/2022 at 12:55 PM, Jean said:

I have mostly slept and not done a good chunk of what I thought needed to be done and I'm alive and everything (that is in my power) is fine. My new target game plan is to acknowledge that plan A is not achievable, throw it in the garbage can without even thinking I should go for it and make Plan B Plan A.

 

In this prospect, Plan A is the idealized version of what I think should be done if I were Superman and was living in Carebears' land and Plan B is the workable version of what I can realistically achieve with my current level of energy and environment.

 

Very smart.

 

I also want to make plans for the ideal situation. I'm just starting to come to terms with the fact that those never work. It makes me feel better to have a plan than to feel like I'm just winging it. However, now I don't expect my plans to hold up more than 10% of the time. I have a few contingency plans and a sort-of wish list for what I might do if unlikely things happen.

[Jean]

Thank you all for following and for your inputs, time to wrap this thing up.

 

This last week has been a mess at work and I've let that drive everything else, so no sleep time was followed. I'll spare myself the hassle to try and reconstruct my bed- and wake-up times and be content that the mean on the times I've registered is around 8.6 hours/night, which is enough.

 

I've accumulated a big backlog, though, and must work through it. I've done absolutely nothing productive this weekend, but resting. This is a problem. I want and need to be fresh and active during my weekends because if I surrender that time, then I may as well have no life. I'm not dealing with the esoteric, this is all very known bad habits/giving in:

 

• I need to dedicate enough time to sleep and tell my mind it is ok to rest even if not everything is done and the to-do list keeps growing.
• I need to drink less coffee and more water.
• I need to have less screen time, be more active and have more fresh air.
• I need to eat enough.

The master metric for "enough" of these is pretty easy. If "Nope!" is the answer to "do I have a headache right now?" then I am doing it right.

 

I'll have to think of the beacons I could use to guide me in this direction and will be late for next challenge. Enjoy your life!

 

P.S. : as an aside and since I've spoken of it before, my try at pivoting at work didn't pan out, which could be a blessing given the reasons why it didn't but still feel somewhat disappointing. I've got other ways forward so I'll keep moving.

 

Edit: Change of plans: let's get at it while I have the energy for it. New challenge is up: