[athousandwords]

credit: Still Stuck with you. by PascalCampion
 

CHAPTER 2: AThousandWords is a Constant Refrain

 

"You didn't even look?"

I frown.

The door at the train station has been in the back of my mind all day — the missed opportunity, the cost of not peeking through that clouded glass. Your own child crying at the crucial moment when you might have reached out to touch the door handle... until reality snaps back in. Hungry toddlers. A juice box spilled on the pavement. No time for doors or adventure.

I shake my head. "We'll walk back up that way again tomorrow. I'll take a peek then and see if it's anything interesting."

My husband shrugs, accepting the ordinary solution for an ordinary problem. He wasn't there to feel the light-as-a-dust-mote prickling that made you doubt whether the door was there at all.

"It's just weird, " he says after a minute. "We're at that train station all the time. I feel like I would have seen a door like that."

"We're always busy, right?" It's the constant refrain of parents everywhere. "We probably just didn't notice it. But," I hesitate, and he raises his eyebrows. I'm debating whether to explain the pull I felt, the sense that something is coming closer. I wonder if I'm just being melodramatic: imaging myself at the precipice of a cliff, unsure of whether it's safer to remain where I am or catapult myself off. It must play out on my face because my husband drops his eyebrows into a concerned look. He can always tell when I'm making myself smaller, sanding myself off at the corners.

"Well. It would be nice to go somewhere," I say finally. "Get out of here for a while."

He hums in agreement, then smiles at me until I find myself smiling back. But we walk to the train station the next day and the door is gone.

 

This challenge is all about accepting what we can't change, I suppose. Last month was a struggle: between snow and quarantines I think we had a total of 7 full days of daycare out of the entire month. And then last week we we learned that under-5 vaccines won't be submitted for approval until April and the small thread of hope we'd had for travel and normalcy this spring is put on hold again. I'm stretched thin between demanding work and unrelenting parenting, I miss spending time with my husband and friends, and I find myself wishing so badly we could get out of this day to day routine and go adventuring. Instead we're treading water and the best I can do this challenge is just to focus on what I can control.

 

Half-marathon training has become a small lifeline of personal time, and I'm starting to feel ready. I ran 11 miles last weekend and this challenge will be ending the weekend I run the real thing: 13 miles. Inconceivable to the me who started the Couch 2 5k last summer. It also feels like a light at the end of the long tunnel of winter: travel, family, community. So this challenge I'm going to do my best to be ready for it, avoid injury, and picture myself crossing the finish line. You'd think flexibility would be key here, but I'm running the opposite direction. I'm going to try and nail myself to a schedule and let consistency take me through the rest of winter. I'm hoping there will be warmer days ahead with more breathing room and joy, and setting habits in stone now will keep me on track for the rest of the year.

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

• I will commit to running all the days and distances in my training plan: Mon, Weds, Thurs, Sat
• Bonus: Figure out what comes next after I finish training for this Half Marathon

 

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

• I will complete a 30 min yoga class from the Peloton app on Tuesdays and Fridays, after daycare drop-off
• Can switch this to evening practice only if my morning is booked

 

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

• I will only eat during an 8 hour window (usually 12pm - 8pm) for 6/7 days a week
• Coffee + creamer or water allowed outside this window (I can't give up my morning coffee! 😆 )

 

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

• On Monday morning, I will schedule 4 hours of projects with goals of what to accomplish for during that time

 

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

• I will ensure I have a new book ready to read on Monday nights and spend at least 1 hour reading before bedtime
• Finishing the previous week's book is obviously preferred, but not required!

 

Tracking will be done here! Live! No habit apps or spreadsheets, just forcing myself to get on to NerdFitness, say hello, and stay aligned with my goals.

 

Cheers, all - to the last challenge of winter and hopefully the start of something new.

[athousandwords]

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

❌

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

+30 min

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

Yesterday was a lovely Valentine's Day for our little family. I made the kids pink milk and red sprinkle yogurt in the morning, which was the perfect mix of "special" and "very little effort required." 😆 They came home excited about exchanging cards with their friends (and the toys and candy and stickers that came with), and were happy to just play while I cooked. I surprised my husband with a steak dinner and homemade baked mac and cheese - I think he was just planning on leftovers - and then our 5 year old put on a "show" that was mostly just singing at the top of this lungs and striking superhero poses. I love this age.

 

 

Anyway - it was a good day to start the challenge! My run was a little "blah" yesterday morning, because I was spoiled by running outside all last week and had to get back on the treadmill when the temperature dropped 20 degrees. 😞 But! We got our new workout room set up in the basement, which made the run easier because now my tread actually faces the TV, and I had so much more room for yoga this morning. We still have work to do (like getting rid of the shag carpet and dressers), but it's nice to have dedicated space instead of having to move 50 kid toys out of the way to do yoga in the living room.

 

 

I squeezed in 30 min of anchoring bookshelves to the walls before the kids came home, which is something that badly needed to happen but I probably wouldn't have found time for without this challenge pushing me on, so yay there. IF didn't really happen because I had a romantic drink with the hubby after the kids went to bed. We lounged in the jacuzzi tub and drank raspberry stouts while I read my book, which was a very nice at-home date night.  This week's book is Gold Diggers by Sanjena Sathian and is funny and intriguing so far, I'm looking forward to finishing!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

4 hours ago, athousandwords said:

having to move 50 kid toys out of the way to do yoga in the living room.

I feel that in my soul.

[KB Girl]

Incredibly cute kids  

your intro write up was good, would have continued reading if possible, hehe. 
i hope you can get some parenting and routine breaks soon- but I look forward to watching you nail this half marathon first! 

[athousandwords]

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

❌✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

Total: 30 min

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

I don't have much to add here today, but I'm trying to get in the habit of updating regularly again. It's cold here this morning, but supposed to get up to 50℉ today (10℃) so I'm saving my run for the afternoon so that I can run outside. This is one area where IF kind of doesn't work, since I like to run fasted. Ideally I'd eat around 10am and then go for a run around 12 so my stomach isn't as full, but then I wouldn't be doing an 8-hour eating window. So I'm going to try and eat at 12 and wait until 2 for my run, which sort of messes with my work day, but I can deal with it since I'm not too busy today.

 

15 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Incredibly cute kids  

your intro write up was good, would have continued reading if possible, hehe. 

 

Thank you and thank you! ❤️ I'm being self-indulgent and writing my own narrative this year. By the end I hope the challenges form a complete story (of what? I have no idea. We'll see where the year takes us!) 

[athousandwords]

6 hours ago, athousandwords said:

So I'm going to try and eat at 12 and wait until 2 for my run, which sort of messes with my work day, but I can deal with it since I'm not too busy today.

 

Nope. Bad idea. Forgot I had a 12 meeting so I didn't eat until 1ish, and that made my 2pm run rough. Felt like my stomach was churning the whole time. 😩 I did all 5 miles but I'm still grumbly about it.

[athousandwords]

Thursday

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅✅✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

❌✅✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

Total: 30 min

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

This morning was unusual: baby girl is sick with a fever, so she's home today. My husband had a call he couldn't miss, and the weather was decent, so I took her outside and we walked about 2 miles. As we were heading home, I got a call from big brother's teacher letting me know he spilled his lunch and needed us to bring him a new one. So I packed his lunch, dropped baby girl off with DH, and literally ran the .5 mi to daycare with a lunchbox in hand, then ran the rest of my 3 mi. 😆

 

In other news... I seem to have manifested myself a vacation. I decided to take off Feb 28 - Mar 2 for my birthday - thinking I'd just bum around the house, or maybe go to IKEA or something. Then DH realized he had some PTO that was about to go away if he didn't use it, so he's taking those days off too. So now we have a 5 day weekend and daycare coverage for 3 of those days. So we're debating taking the kids out of daycare on family trip ...or maybe asking my parents to come watch the kids while they're still in school so we can take a couple's trip. The big question is where, since we're not comfortable flying, I don't want to spend half a day in the car, and I'd rather go somewhere southern so it's warmer. That limits us to basically Virginia, but a lot of southern/rural VA is still pretty Covid-rampant. And also it's 2 weeks before my half-marathon and I don't want to throw off my training plan, so this weekend will somehow need to include a 12 mi run and lots of recovery (somewhere with a hot tub perhaps?).

[Sylvaa]

24 minutes ago, athousandwords said:

That limits us to basically Virginia, but a lot of southern/rural VA is still pretty Covid-rampant. And also it's 2 weeks before my half-marathon and I don't want to throw off my training plan, so this weekend will somehow need to include a 12 mi run and lots of recovery (somewhere with a hot tub perhaps?).

 

What about Colonial Williamsburg? It's been a hot minute, but I remember there being a lot that was semi-open (although, I went in the summer, not the winter), and as of the last update to their webpage, they were still requiring facemasks indoors.

[Mahalak]

6 hours ago, athousandwords said:

This morning was unusual: baby girl is sick with a fever, so she's home today. My husband had a call he couldn't miss, and the weather was decent, so I took her outside and we walked about 2 miles. As we were heading home, I got a call from big brother's teacher letting me know he spilled his lunch and needed us to bring him a new one. So I packed his lunch, dropped baby girl off with DH, and literally ran the .5 mi to daycare with a lunchbox in hand, then ran the rest of my 3 mi. 😆

Unusual maybe, but no less impressive!

[Chesire]

That pic is adorable ❤️   Following to cheer you on your way to the half!

[Rookie]

Loved the intro ❤️ I agree with KBGirl I would of kept reading. 

 

The feeling of wanting to get away and do some adventure is really relatable right now. I hope your mini birthday vacation turns out great ❤️ 

[athousandwords]

20 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

What about Colonial Williamsburg? It's been a hot minute, but I remember there being a lot that was semi-open (although, I went in the summer, not the winter), and as of the last update to their webpage, they were still requiring facemasks indoors.

 

That's definitely a possibility! My kids might be a little too young to enjoy the indoor/ticketed events, but IIRC there's a lot you can do outside without needing tickets. Good to know they're still requiring facemasks though!

 

2 minutes ago, Rookie said:

Loved the intro ❤️ I agree with KBGirl I would of kept reading. 

 

The feeling of wanting to get away and do some adventure is really relatable right now. I hope your mini birthday vacation turns out great ❤️ 

 

Aww thanks! To be continued in the next challenge... 

 

And yes, I feel like most of us are missing travel and adventure by now. Hopefully we all get a break soon! ❤️ 

[athousandwords]

Friday

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅✅✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

❌✅✅✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

Total: 30 min

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

You know where I'm really falling behind? Those home projects. 😬 I had 2 blocks of time scheduled in the evenings to work on different things this week, and skipped both of them. I'm just exhausted by the time I put the kids to bed lately and end up going straight to bed. And once there, do I finish the book I started on Monday? Nope. I scroll Facebook on my phone. Ugh. Exactly the wrong habit to be in. I should have some time this weekend to play catch-up, but the real goal here was to make progress during the week, not try to cram it all in at the weekend. Also I feel like I should really prioritize making a Dr appt and getting labs run because maybe it's not normal to be so exhausted at 8pm? 🤷‍♀️

 

Still haven't decided on where to go for the birthday trip, and waiting on my parents to get back to me about whether they can watch the kids. Baby girl is still sick and heading to the doctor today to make sure it's not Covid. I moved yoga practice from morning to afternoon today so I could watch her while I work (well, catch up on slack and emails), so I need to keep myself accountable and actually do it this afternoon - I have a bad tendency to blow off afternoon workouts once my day has started.

 

(ETA: updated after I did finish yoga)

[Sylvaa]

1 hour ago, athousandwords said:

Also I feel like I should really prioritize making a Dr appt and getting labs run because maybe it's not normal to be so exhausted at 8pm? 🤷‍♀️

 

While it is always a good idea to go to the doctor about concerns, how ARE you sleeping? Do you have a tracker that gives you info about sleep hours and quality? I am super guilty of being tired, then staying up late for random reasons (which are never worthwhile). And you've had a lot of random things going on, which probably aren't helping. 

 

That being said, if you are getting a good 8 - 9 hours of sleep a night and are still exhausted, go to the doctors. Just to make sure. 

[athousandwords]

2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

While it is always a good idea to go to the doctor about concerns, how ARE you sleeping? Do you have a tracker that gives you info about sleep hours and quality? I am super guilty of being tired, then staying up late for random reasons (which are never worthwhile). And you've had a lot of random things going on, which probably aren't helping. 

 

That being said, if you are getting a good 8 - 9 hours of sleep a night and are still exhausted, go to the doctors. Just to make sure. 

 

I do wear a fitbit, but honestly I rarely look at the sleep stats. I'll have to look over that. Typically I sleep about 8 hours a night (11 - 7) but this week I've been falling asleep around 9:30. And I feel like my quality of sleep is usually ok? I'll wake up a couple times during the night, but can usually roll back over and fall asleep. I'm going to try upping my water intake and seeing if that helps - it occurs to me that since the last challenge ended, I've fallen behind on drinking enough water, and it happens to coincide with this uptick in fatigue.

 

But also I should probably go to the doctor anyway because I haven't had a well-check since the pandemic started...

[athousandwords]

5 hours ago, athousandwords said:

I moved yoga practice from morning to afternoon today so I could watch her while I work (well, catch up on slack and emails), so I need to keep myself accountable and actually do it this afternoon - I have a bad tendency to blow off afternoon workouts once my day has started.

 

Just an update that I got this done this afternoon! I got someone from my mom/workout group to text me and make sure my butt actually got on the mat! 🙌🏼 

[athousandwords]

Week 1

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅✅✅✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

✅✅✅✅✅✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

✅

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

Finished out the weekend strong! 💪🏼

• We dropped the kids off at my in-laws for Sunday night and spent the whole afternoon/evening working on the built-in bookshelves we're constructing in the playroom. We hit quite a few snags (including a second trip to Home Depot because I forgot to order half the trim 🤦‍♀️) so progress doesn't look like much yet. But we're further than we were before, at least! Hoping to keep working on it during the week now that we have all the supplies.
• Ran a chilly 8 miles in terrible wind on Saturday. It took me ages to warm up after. 🥶 And I ran out of episodes to listen to on The Maintenance Phase, which has been my sole running podcast for the last few months. So I picked back up with The Adventure Zone, having stopped listening after the Balance arc. Still not sure if it's the best choice for running, but at least it kept me entertained on Saturday.
• Matt and I settled on a place for my birthday trip! We decided to take my parents up on their offer to babysit, and booked a hotel in downtown Charlottesville. Looking at the forecast it's probably going to be too cold to be outside much anyway, so I'm glad we don't have to entertain the kids. Even if we just stay in bed and binge watch season 2 of Witcher it'll be a nice break for us! We made sure to book a room with a table to eat at and lots of GrubHub options close by. 😁

On 2/18/2022 at 11:17 AM, Sylvaa said:

While it is always a good idea to go to the doctor about concerns, how ARE you sleeping? Do you have a tracker that gives you info about sleep hours and quality? I am super guilty of being tired, then staying up late for random reasons (which are never worthwhile). And you've had a lot of random things going on, which probably aren't helping. 

 

So I connected some dots here... it turns out not drinking water and having a glass of wine or beer with dinner is the culprit. I don't typically  drink with dinner these days, but I used to fairly regularly, so it didn't occur to me that it could be making me so tired! I'll have to keep an eye on that going forward, whether it was just this week or maybe a combo of running + alcohol or maybe it's just getting older! 😂

[KB Girl]

5 hours ago, athousandwords said:

• Matt and I settled on a place for my birthday trip! We decided to take my parents up on their offer to babysit, and booked a hotel in downtown Charlottesville. Looking at the forecast it's probably going to be too cold to be outside much anyway, so I'm glad we don't have to entertain the kids. Even if we just stay in bed and binge watch season 2 of Witcher it'll be a nice break for us! We made sure to book a room with a table to eat at and lots of GrubHub options close by. 😁

That sounds excellent! Good for you

 

5 hours ago, athousandwords said:

So I connected some dots here... it turns out not drinking water and having a glass of wine or beer with dinner is the culprit. I don't typically  drink with dinner these days, but I used to fairly regularly, so it didn't occur to me that it could be making me so tired! I'll have to keep an eye on that going forward, whether it was just this week or maybe a combo of running + alcohol or maybe it's just getting older! 😂

Ah, glad you've got a possible/likely culprit. Being tired sucks. 

[athousandwords]

Week 2

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

Total: 3 hours

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

Yesterday was a good start to the week - it was a US holiday and absolutely lovely out and my in-laws were watching the kids so we got lots of progress done on the bookshelves. I ran 4 miles in beautiful, sunny, crisp weather - the best running weather. After lunch I worked on the bookshelves for about 3 hours. Matt wasn't available to help, so I did all the little tasks that I could do by myself: wiring up the new outlet, screwing in furring strips, taking down the crown molding, and cutting the trim boards to length. Which sounds like a lot written out, but there's so little visible progress. Today we're going to shift our work schedules a bit and try to get the trim boards nailed up while the kids are at daycare and then do actual work after bedtime, since we can't hammer in trim while the kids are sleeping. The goal is to get the shelves functional and the playroom cleaned up by the time we go out of town this weekend. Here's how everything looks currently:

 

Spoiler

 

I also totally forgot that yesterday was Monday and I was a bit behind in my reading last week. So I finished Gold Diggers (last week's book) and kiiinda cheated and read the intro to a book I just got from the library (Organizing with ADHD) just so I could check off my goal and say I started a new book last night. 🙈 But I actually need to start the novel for book club this Friday, so the organizing book will be on the backburner. Also, I just got the first two books of the Stormlight Archives in from the library after being on the holds list for months and it's so tempting to blow off both those books and read that instead. #bookproblems

[MezzotheLefty]

Your intro is lovely. I very much enjoyed it. 😊

 

You're running volume is mind-boggling! That soooo many miles!! Amazing! I'm so excited to keep following your half marathon journey.

 

Did you make a decision about your vacation/break?  All options sound fabulous and I hope it's a restful and rejuvenating time for you.

 

Bard has caught me 3 times passed out with my daughter after our bedtime routine, so I 100% get that early bedtime exhaustion. It really is hard to know if the exhaustion is parenting-related (potty training and TV tantrums are rough right now) running-related (I did 15 miles total last week) or health-related. I'm finally seeing a doctor on Friday for the first time since I had Sweet Pea (16 months).  I'm a little nervous (new town means new doctor) but it needs to be done. It sounds like you may have found the issue already, but a check up is never a bad thing!

 

Following along friend.

 

[athousandwords]

17 minutes ago, MezzotheLefty said:

Your intro is lovely. I very much enjoyed it. 😊

 

You're running volume is mind-boggling! That soooo many miles!! Amazing! I'm so excited to keep following your half marathon journey.

 

Did you make a decision about your vacation/break?  All options sound fabulous and I hope it's a restful and rejuvenating time for you.

 

Bard has caught me 3 times passed out with my daughter after our bedtime routine, so I 100% get that early bedtime exhaustion. It really is hard to know if the exhaustion is parenting-related (potty training and TV tantrums are rough right now) running-related (I did 15 miles total last week) or health-related. I'm finally seeing a doctor on Friday for the first time since I had Sweet Pea (16 months).  I'm a little nervous (new town means new doctor) but it needs to be done. It sounds like you may have found the issue already, but a check up is never a bad thing!

 

Following along friend.

 

Good to see you popping up here friendo!!

 

 

The running is a lot right now! I think I'm consistently doing about 18 - 22 miles a week. I'll be relieved when this half is over and I can do some other activities on the weekends — the weather will be nice for biking and hiking! For this upcoming weekend, we decided to take the offer of kid-free time and go visit a town about 1 1/2 hours away that has good food and vineyards nearby. The weather might be too chilly to do much, but it will be a welcome and restful break. I'm looking forward to it!

 

And yes, yes on the parenting exhaustion. Sounds like you're doing a lot right now (15 miles is no light effort!) and the potty training tantrums are rough. 😩  I hope you're able to get a break soon and recharge. It's been a long, long winter with all the covid worries and daycare closures... ❤️ 

[athousandwords]

Week 2 - Tuesday

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

✅✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

Total: 3 hours

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

Not much progress here. I did yoga yesterday and stuck to my IF window. Didn't get any time in to work on the bookshelves, but maybe today. Spent the evening realizing that baby girl's 2nd birthday is next week and oh snap I haven't bought her a gift or planned anything except having in-laws over for dinner. So I did a panic amazon buy of decorations and a birthday outfit and gifts. 😬 Now debating if I want to spend $40 on a custom Minnie Mouse cake from our local bakery or just pick up one from the grocery store... I think I'm just overcompensating because her whole life has been in pandemic and I feel bad that she hasn't gotten any of the fun birthday parties her brother had for the first 2 years. But it's not like she knows or cares - she'd be happy with any cake and any amount of celebration. Just overthinking it as always.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

The first couple of birthdays are more for the family than for the child.

[athousandwords]

23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

The first couple of birthdays are more for the family than for the child.

 

This sounds like "go ahead, buy all those decorations if it makes you happy!" right??   I decided against the $40 cake though - we'll just do a grocery store cake and it'll taste great, I'm sure.

[athousandwords]

Week 2 - Wednesday

 

Habit 0: Run four times a week

✅✅

Habit 1: Practice Yoga twice a week

✅

Habit 2: Intermittent Fasting (16/8), six days a week

✅✅✅

Habit 3: Work on home projects for 4 hours a week

Total: 5 hours ✅

Habit 4: Start a new book every Monday

✅

 

Made some good progress on the bookshelves yesterday - Matt and I found an hour during the workday to get some progress in, and then gave the kids some tablet time after school so we could finish up for another hour or so.  That's actually enough to check off my 4 hours of home projects for the week, but our goal to have the bookcases trimmed out before we leave on vacation this Saturday, so I'll end up exceeding this goal for the week.

 

I started Cloud Cuckoo Land yesterday and wish I'd started it a little earlier in the week, because it's pretty dense! I don't think I'll have it done by Friday's book club, but at least I should be about halfway through. It's a very interesting read so far - reminds me a little of The Starless Sea but with more narratives.