[Mistr]

There are a lot of things vying for my attention this challenge. My goal is to choose just one thing at a time.

 

If I try to look at all the things it is overwhelming. I tried doing that this weekend and got depressed. If there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it is months away. I need to keep my sanity while coping as best I can.

 

Last week my boss told me that two high priority projects need to get done SOON, on top of my regular work. I was planning on working more on those next weekend, when I found out that the aikido seminar I'd signed up for was not cancelled after all. I volunteered to drive my sensei to the seminar, so I can't bail out of it. Thankfully it is just Saturday and Sunday morning. There is a Friday class, but I knew from the start that I couldn't get there on Friday. There is another aikido seminar coming up the second weekend of April. I do really want to go to these and see people, it just is a lot all at once. Oh yeah, and tax time is looming. And gardening. If I look at all the things, I want to run and hide. So I'm not going to do that.

 

Goal:

I will pick one thing, work on that, and put it down. It does not have to be finished to put it down. I will pick up another thing that seems doable at the time. It can be fun and relaxing or work. No judgement. Just keep going.

 

I am going to make sitting zen a high priority for this challenge. I need to get my brain to hold still so I can make good choices. 

[RES]

I am mesmerized by that picture...I'm following along (of course) and wishing you well with your efforts not to be pulled in too many directions at once!

[sarakingdom]

One thing at a time is very powerful.

[Mistr]

Week 0 Monday

 

Things done:

• Yoga - NF Star A. My balance is worse than usual. Need more of this.
• Work - mostly stayed on task and got done on time  yes, this is unusual enough to merit listing
• Zen - found a set of meditation cushions in a conference room at work - yay!
• Dropped off stuff at the charity shop on my way to the dojo
• Aikido. Also confirmed carpool details for the seminar this weekend with my sensei.
• Fill-in grocery shopping on my way home from the dojo. Critical item was milk.
• Duolingo

It was a very productive day. I stayed on plan the whole time, except for food. I ate my lunch late and was going to be fine with an apple for dinner. Then I got home from the grocery store and Cleo had made lumpia (a variant on egg rolls) and left a plate of them out on the kitchen table, still warm. I did not try to resist. I think it was just as well. I got up in the middle of the night to pick up Dumbledore from the airport. I felt hungry and could tell myself to ignore it because I had just eaten in the evening.

 

Today I am lowering my expectations because of limited sleep. So far I have avoided caffeine. I may be able to take a nap over lunch or after work. 

[sarakingdom]

You are inspiring me to do just one thing. Which I need to do.

[Harriet]

Happy monotasking!

[RES]

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

I did not try to resist.

This is not a thing you should try to resist!

[Mistr]

I did indeed take a nap at lunchtime yesterday. Amber assisted by curling up under the blanket behind my knees. She generates snoozon radiation. My brain clearly needed the sleep.

 

The rest of the day went about as expected. I tried to do more work in the evening but found that our internet was too slow. I think streaming was happening both for Dumbledore & Hermes and for Elf & Cleo. My dinner choices involved beer and pizza.  I think the take-home message is that I should just stay on task at work and put it down at the end of the day, done or not.

 

Done: yoga for core strength, picked up French audiobook from the library, got cash for the weekend

Not done: Zen

[Harriet]

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

I did indeed take a nap at lunchtime yesterday. Amber assisted by curling up under the blanket behind my knees. She generates snoozon radiation. My brain clearly needed the sleep.

 

This sounds lovely. I assume Amber is a cat and/or dog.

[Mistr]

5 minutes ago, Harriet said:

 

This sounds lovely. I assume Amber is a cat and/or dog.

 

Yes. Amber is a cat. Dumbledore is her favorite human, but I will do in a pinch. Especially if I am sitting on the couch or napping when she wants a heating pad for her naps.

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

8 hours ago, Mistr said:

Done:

You keep doing way more than one thing. You gotta save some for later.  

[Gemma]

On 3/22/2022 at 11:41 AM, Mistr said:

I did not try to resist. I think it was just as well. 

 

 

Lumpia are Borg. Resistance is futile. 

[Scaly Freak]

On 3/23/2022 at 10:44 AM, Mistr said:

I did indeed take a nap at lunchtime yesterday. Amber assisted by curling up under the blanket behind my knees. She generates snoozon radiation. My brain clearly needed the sleep.

 

Napping with pets is so relaxing. They commit so fully to the nap, I think that's what makes it contagious.

[Mistr]

Just one thing has been serving me well.

 

Work continues to be super busy.

 

The aikido seminar this weekend was lots of fun. It was wonderful to be on the mat again and meet new people. Some of the classes were more helpful than others, but that is what one expects in a friendship seminar. I have plenty to work on even when I don't see the point of what the instructor wants us to do.

 

One particularly happy sign was that I did not feel tired and beat up on Sunday morning, even though I trained for six hours on Saturday. There was plenty of space on the mat, so I was taking ukemi most of that time. I took ibuprofen right after class, but did not feel like I needed more when I went to bed. I got plenty of sleep and felt normal in the morning. My "normal" is usually kind of stiff these days, but certainly not worse than usual. My sensei taught the second class on Sunday morning and included a technique I know well. I got to do that with a friend who takes beautiful ukemi. It made me feel like I could do aikido again. 

 

Continued excitement

Spoiler

Dumbledore got home from his second work trip in two weeks on Sunday afternoon, right after I got home from the aikido seminar. We went for a lovely walk and compared notes. Then we both chilled for the evening.

 

Later in the evening he got the news that a family member is having medical problems. He is flying there today to help her out for a couple weeks. He woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me about it. I got up to keep him company as he figured out what he needed to do. He has been working on the road for the last two weeks, so he just repacked his bags to keep doing that. I was amazed how calmly he took the sudden change in plans.

 

I am taking it calmly too, at least on the outside. My failure to fall back asleep for hours and heavy consumption of chocolate today says that I'm fooling myself about that. I know I'll be fine, it just adds one more stress at an already difficult time. To top it off, I learned about some family drama from my mom. Now I'm looking around for the third thing to hit the fan.

 

On the bright side, Elf found me after work to discuss groceries and cooking. They noticed that the fridge was getting bare and wanted to know my cooking plans. I just made a chicken curry stew on Friday and won't have time to cook for several days. Elf volunteered to go grocery shopping and do grilling on Wednesday, when the weather is supposed to be warmer. Cleo also had an idea for a main dish to cook. I asked them to take care of the dishes.

 

I think we're going to be okay.

 

I was looking forward to a spinning group zoom call this evening. I decided to catch up on work some instead. I just did not want to face coming into tomorrow with a backlog to deal with. I still have a big project with a deadline looming. That is tentatively booked for tomorrow evening.

[Mistr]

Third thing just hit. Another person is leaving our team. She is staying in the company, and not transitioning to her new role for six weeks. That will give our new people time to get trained and start taking some of the load. We have approval to fill the newly open position and add another person. That means we will have a second round of new hires starting in June. There have been some good candidates in recent phone interviews, so that looks promising.

 

The light in the tunnel was in fact a train.

[Scaly Freak]

Ouch. I'm sorry about all the issues hitting all at once.  That work change would have been stressful under ideal circumstances, this is supremely bad timing.

 

Spoiler

And of course you're taking it calmly on the outside - one does not fall apart when one's spouse needs support.

 

The additional drama from your family is supremely bad timing too, but it seems as if Elf and Cleo are going to be helpful with housework, which is always good. Since they are offering anyway, this might be a good opportunity to ask them to take on a little bit more, just while you're dealing with all the family drama and the work changes right now? Let them know that you are dealing with a lot right now, and it would be very helpful and appreciated, if they could please help out a little bit more than usual just for a week or so?

 

[Mistr]

1 hour ago, Scaly Freak said:

Ouch. I'm sorry about all the issues hitting all at once.  That work change would have been stressful under ideal circumstances, this is supremely bad timing.

 

  Hide contents

And of course you're taking it calmly on the outside - one does not fall apart when one's spouse needs support.

 

The additional drama from your family is supremely bad timing too, but it seems as if Elf and Cleo are going to be helpful with housework, which is always good. Since they are offering anyway, this might be a good opportunity to ask them to take on a little bit more, just while you're dealing with all the family drama and the work changes right now? Let them know that you are dealing with a lot right now, and it would be very helpful and appreciated, if they could please help out a little bit more than usual just for a week or so?

 

 

Thank you, the emotional support makes a difference to me.

 

I am doing my best to keep it together.  There is a Buddhist proverb "pain is inevitable, but suffering is not".  I have choices in how I cope and what I want to prioritize. I think that is going to involve a lot of chocolate, yoga and spinning. Aikido too, but that won't be until the weekend. It looks like I will be teaching class tomorrow instead of practicing.

 

I am hesitant to ask Elf and Cleo to do more. We talked about things that they could do. Their timing of implementing what they promise to do is very slow. That makes me antsy. I feel better just leaving things open. Then if they do tasks that is a nice surprise. The house is mostly in good shape except for the vacuuming. The cats are shedding their winter coats and there is fur everywhere. I plan on vacuuming this weekend. If someone else feels inspired, they can certainly vacuum sooner.

 

Spoiler

Dumbledore is in a much worse situation than me. He is staying with an elderly relative who has untreated mental illness, as well as heart problems. Plus she smokes. She has been living alone and not quite keeping up with things.

 

He was worried about bedbugs. He did not find those, but there are roaches. He is going to go buy an air purifier today so that the room he is sleeping in has breathable air.

 

He will also have to deal with the medical people. 

 

He will probably be okay if they want to check her into the hospital for treatment. He could clean up enough of the house to be comfortable and work remotely. If they send her home with new meds, that will be hard. He will have to deal with a lonely, unbalanced person and try to keep his own projects going at the same time.

 

I told Dumbledore that we are both playing on Hard mode this month. Time to use all my best techniques.

[Harriet]

28 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I am doing my best to keep it together.  There is a Buddhist proverb "pain is inevitable, but suffering is not".  I have choices in how I cope and what I want to prioritize.

 

I really like this idea. I assume they're treating pain as the objective injury and suffering as our thoughts about it that expand and amplify it into a bad story.

 

28 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I told Dumbledore that we are both playing on Hard mode this month. Time to use all my best techniques.

 

I wish you a good game. I hope the hardness does not wear you down too much.

[sarakingdom]

Oof, hang in there. Work can darned well be understanding about how understaffed you guys are.

[RES]

9 hours ago, Mistr said:

I have choices in how I cope and what I want to prioritize.

I admire how well you do this, and how you seem to take everything in stride...you and your family are in my thoughts 🫂

[Mistr]

Week 1 Tuesday

 

Summary: Not so bad, considering.

 

Details:

I was mostly caught up with regular stuff at the end of the day at work. I planned to come back to my office corner after supper to work on the big project with the looming deadline. I decided to make a shopping run to Costco and pick up a few things at the grocery store so that Elf and Cleo can cook. Elf was stopping at a different grocery on their way home to pick up chicken breasts. My main goal was to get chocolate to deal with stress.

 

I should know by now that "quick" and "Costco" cannot occur in the same sentence. Just one circuit of the store takes 15 minutes because it is so big. I really did only get a few things. I found some things I had been keeping an eye out for, and could not find other things. Par for the course. I was mostly done when Elf called to let me know that the store was out of chicken breasts. No problem, there is another location of that chain near Costco.  This is near for suburban values of near. That added a total of 10 minutes driving time plus another lap of a supermarket. I found bottles of vanilla on clearance as well as the requested chicken breasts. Then off to the main grocery which is another big box store.  I had a short list and did not have to double back to find things like I usually do.

 

It was 8pm by the time I got home, and Elf and I still had to drop off our Honda to the mechanic. No more work for me this evening.

 

While I was out, Elf made calazone from scratch. One was sitting on a plate waiting for me when I got home. 🥰 The young people also promised to do dishes.

 

Dumbledore and I compared notes

Spoiler

His relative who was on death's door on Sunday and needed him to fly down NOW is feeling better. She had not gone to the hospital on Monday and was resistant to going all day Tuesday. She is also resistant to the idea of having an exterminator come to deal with the roaches. Really, she is resistant to any sensible suggestion.

 

On the bright side, she already had an air purifier in the house. Dumbledore cleaned that and set it up in the guest bedroom so the air will be more breathable.

 

Another good point is that she does not have internet in the house. She is sure that people will spy on her through the computer. Dumbledore needs internet access to work. This means he has a legitimate, unarguable reason to be elsewhere for hours at a time.

 

He was about ready to scream and run last night. He put his foot down about boundaries in the evening. I hope that helped.

 

This morning he told me about his plans to go to a laundromat and buy cleaning supplies. She is not willing to have a service person repair her washer and dryer (they will just over-charge her) and she is afraid to go to the laundromat (sketchy characters and Covid). She isn't happy about Dumbledore cleaning her house, but he is family and will prevail on that front.

 

I am sure she is embarrassed that she has let her house get into its current state. She was raised in the generation where women's virtue was judged by their housekeeping skills. Most people her age have someone come in to help with housework, if they are not already in an assisted living situation. There is no way to have a reasonable discussion about any of that with her. Dumbledore is going to choose his battles and do enough cleaning so that he feels comfortable staying there for two weeks. Maybe that will ease her fears enough that she will let service people into the house.

 

I finished the day with 30 minutes of zazen. Exactly what I needed.

[Kishi]

Geez. Hard mode indeed.

 

Well, this won't last. And as you say, there's power in doing one thing. One thing leads to another, and more than that, one thing changes everything else, even if it's not immediately obvious how. You know that better than me.

[Mistr]

Weekend report

 

I got my project done and to my boss by noon Friday. This involved me staying up late Thursday night working on it and delaying a different project on Friday morning. By the end of the day Friday I was a crispy critter. I didn't go to aikido because I felt like swinging weapons at people was a bad plan.  Instead I went to my BFF's place. We drank white wine and commiserated about our lives. It was lovely. 

 

Saturday I did aikido and worked on project #2. Sunday I did zen, fill-in grocery shopping, and made a cake. I tried to do more work but my brain was mush.

 

To add to the fun, my team is in the process of moving into our new office. The current corporate fad is to have "touch-down spaces" instead of assigned desks. Our team was able to persuade Management that we really would prefer to all be in the same room, and we have enough desks so that is feasible. The desks are adjustable height and have two monitor mounts, but they have no drawers or storage space. There is nowhere to stash a purse or lunch bag. We have some common storage cabinets and my boss got small plastic bins that we can use. I'm fine with putting a stash of tea bags and granola bars in a common space, but not valuables. I am sure that a person with male privilege came up with this scheme. Women's clothes do not have pockets big enough to hold a wallet. Having a locking desk drawer is a necessity. I know that the risks are very low right now because our building is limited access. It still bugs me. Very attractive but not functional.

 

I did not do any batch cooking because work was a higher priority. Cleo did all the vacuuming. Elf and Cleo talked about cooking and bought ingredients, but have not cooked anything (other than frozen chicken nuggets). The fridge is looking bare again. I am planning on getting take-out for the next couple days. Normally I would cook so I have healthy food. This week I can get by. I am curious to see how the young people do left to their own devices.

 

The doing one thing at a time approach is helping. Last night the things were making popcorn and rereading a novel. Hopefully I can do some projects after work today. I did yoga before work and will do zen at lunchtime. 

 

Spoiler

Dumbledore is coping as well as can be expected. He has gone to doctor's appointments and got his relative set up with oxygen. She adamantly refuses to let anyone in the house to spray for bugs or fix anything. Dumbledore has done a lot of cleaning in the kitchen so he can feel better about cooking and eating in the house. He is racking up points in his application for sainthood. His brother will be coming tomorrow, so this afternoon he is taking a break and driving an hour or so to visit friends for the afternoon. One of my tasks for after work is to call and see if I can get our family member to see reason. Chances are poor, but it will probably help if I call. I have a big pile of wool I can work on while I listen to her rant.

 

I made progress on spinning as a fun thing this weekend. I had to sew a new drive band for my spinning wheel twice 😒. With that fixed, finished plying a bobbin of yarn. I can see the end of the dark grey Wensleydale fleece that I bought several years ago. I have two boxes of carded BFL to spin next.

[Scaly Freak]

I just want to point out that

 

Spoiler

The way Dumbledore is going far above and beyond what anyone could reasonably expect him to put up with, for a relative who may not even thank him or show any appreciation, is really admirable. You have a good man there.  

 

[RES]

17 hours ago, Mistr said:

I didn't go to aikido because I felt like swinging weapons at people was a bad plan.

Very wise of you, not sure I'd have made the same decision some days