shaar Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Hi friends - I went back and forth a zillion times about “should I post a challenge after falling off my last 183 of them” and I thought to myself… why not? What’s the worst that could happen, I make it 184? So hi, I’m shaar, and I’m 100% going through the motions. 🙃👋 Since my last updates in January my mental health has gotten worse than ever and I am currently struggling with high functioning depression - TL;DR my mom passed away very unexpectedly 6 months ago yesterday and my usual chaos life has been waaaay more of a tragic tornado than usual. I’m dragging around an enormous amount of trauma and grief and poor mental health from having to shoulder every bit of her passing and estate myself and now that the dust has settled things have gotten worse instead of better. I’m honestly not even sure what this challenge will BE or how often I will try and check in but it will at least be something. I’ve made a big decision to take a mental health hiatus from my job, which is a HUGE point of my stresses - I am at the point where I can’t function and do my job at the level I need to and I need to back away to get better. I am pretty much expending all of my energy at work to Keep Up Appearances and not lose my mind that by the time I go home or the weekend comes, I’m spending 80% of it on the couch or in bed, and that’s Not Okay. That will start next month (if I don’t have a meltdown and quit first ha ha ha) for a few months so there may not be a whole lot of posting here until I can get to that point where I actually have energy to do updates or, you know, actually give a flying heck about anything at all. My nutrition has been somewhat tragic 🙃 and my drinking has been a little bit excessive 🙃🙃 but I made a deal with myself yesterday that today the drinking was going to stop. So, there’s a goal! I haven’t been to the gym in a week but at least I hope to have the energy to tonight. And that’s about it! I will do my best to stay around this time and hang in there so I can start to get better and work towards CAPS LOCK SHAAR again. ❤️❤️ 5 1 3 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
sarakingdom Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Anti-burnout challenge! I am for it. 2 Quote I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever. Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23 Link to comment
Salinger Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Shaar, i love you. and so good to see you here. I am sorry you are going through so much right now. We are here for you whenever you need us ❤️ xx 1 Quote Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Hugs friend, I'm always available to be a friendly ear. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
fearless 2.0 Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 many of my closest people suffer from burnout. Life IS very hard right now. Stay here and let us virtually hug you back into health! Just rest and try not to booze too much . and apart from that: REST, SWEET SHAAR! ❤️ 1 Quote be fearlessly yourself! Link to comment
Sloth the Enduring Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 1 Quote “We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log Link to comment
Salinger Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 How has your week started Shaar my love? xx 1 Quote Link to comment
Mr_Willes Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 i added a thanx to your first post! Cause thanx for dropping by, even if stuff is hard! You know where to find me if you want to outlet some stuff! Hang in there friend! 1 Quote ... a little odd in the head ... Link to comment
shaar Posted March 23, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Hi everyone and thank you all for your kind words and gifs!! ❤️ It means a lot!! Burnout is REAL and I hope everyone is doing okay. Yesterday I went to the gym, and yesterday I did not drink, so that is good. Today is a rest day and also I will not drink, so that is a good x 2! I don't know if the forums have gone weird or if it is just me but the only way I can log on and update is in INCOGNITO MODE - if I use my regular Chrome I get stuck on this CLOUDFLARE page where it's checking my browser (or so it says) and I have this big ! symbol and it just sits there and never finishes checking it. Frick off CLOUDFLARE I don't have time for your shit >:[ I have dragged my corpse home from work a few hours early because I wasn't feeling super hot so I'm here and working up the gumption to pay some bills and email a CPA to do my moms taxes - it continuously amaaaazes me how much LEGALITY and THE GOVERNMENT is involved when someone dies. Like wowie zowie just let 'em go and let their next of kin figure out their chaos life without having to worry about 1099-R's and if I have to pay someone else some more money!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE it's wild y'all, wild. Get life insurance and write a will if you haven't already, folks. My advice to Y O U. I think my main goal for this challenge is to write up a list of everything I'd like to accomplish while I'm on hiatus. Fun things, necessary things, all the things. I'm having trouble with that right now because honestly nothing really SpArKs JoY so we will see how this goes. :] Ciao for nowwww~ 6 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Hugs friend. If you are to the point where you are ready to look at books on burnout recovery, I have a recommendation. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Salinger Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Hey Shaar.... the forum is working ok for me.... just to say. Hope you can rest this eve...look after yourself. You deserve it my friend. To be safe and happy and loved. Whats the weather like over there? xx 1 Quote Link to comment
Novaurora Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 2 hours ago, shaar said: INCOGNITO MODE Same on my desktop, but not on my phone. I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. And if we fall of another challenge, at least we fall off together. ALL THE HUGS!!!!! 2 Quote “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” John Steinbeck “Do I dare disturb the universe?” – T.S. Eliot “You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison "All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given to us" JRR Tolkien Human Bard: CON 2, WIS 5, INT 1, CHA 2 Current Challenge: Nova Levels Up (and maybe doesn't abandon a challenge...) Link to comment
fearless 2.0 Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 I wish I could send over a nice female attorney who would solve all your legal and grown up stuff! I promise that you will feel better again, this doesnt last! ❤️ 1 Quote be fearlessly yourself! Link to comment
Mr_Willes Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 13 hours ago, shaar said: I don't know if the forums have gone weird or if it is just me but the only way I can log on and update is in INCOGNITO MODE - if I use my regular Chrome I get stuck on this CLOUDFLARE page where it's checking my browser (or so it says) and I have this big ! symbol and it just sits there and never finishes checking it. Frick off CLOUDFLARE I don't have time for your shit >:[ Yelling at the screen always helps for me. It doesn't fix anything but you feel better afterwards! 1 Quote ... a little odd in the head ... Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, and do I very much understand. I'm always here to listen if you need someone and I'm so proud of you for taking the steps you need to start to move forward!! 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Cheetah Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 On 3/22/2022 at 11:51 AM, shaar said: there’s a goal That's a good goal. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that all of the nonsense gets sorted soon. You are strong, and you can do it! 1 Quote Level 47 Quasi-Human Ranger "Forget failure. Forget mistakes. Forget everything except what you're going to do NOW, and DO IT." - Lou Ferrigno "Foxes Never Quit!" - Leicester City FC KBO. - Churchill Link to comment
Jarric Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 On 3/23/2022 at 6:50 PM, shaar said: Today is a rest day and also I will not drink, so that is a good x 2! Lovely stuff! Keep up the good work! On 3/23/2022 at 6:50 PM, shaar said: I'm having trouble with that right now because honestly nothing really SpArKs JoY so we will see how this goes. :] Maybe write down a list of things you have enjoyed in the past, and then see how you feel about them once you've listed them? 2 Quote Level 18 Wood Elf Ranger STR: 14 - CON: 11 - CHA: 3 - SAN: 9 - INT: 13 IAgreeWithTank™ "Shit is going down, but I am not." - iatetheyeti Don't say "I don't have enough time", say instead "that's not a priority right now" and see how that makes you feel. Current Challenge: Jarric's birthday party External: Epic Quest - Instagram - Strava Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 Old Stuff: Battle Log - My Introduction - 2017 Road Map - 2018 Road Map - 2019 Road Map - 2021 Road Map - 2022 road map/wrap-up Link to comment
Salinger Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 How are you today Shaar? ❤️ xx 1 Quote Link to comment
shaar Posted March 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 On 3/23/2022 at 4:28 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Hugs friend. If you are to the point where you are ready to look at books on burnout recovery, I have a recommendation. Heck yes, please! I have some time on my hands coming up. and would love this resource! On 3/23/2022 at 4:32 PM, Salinger said: Hey Shaar.... the forum is working ok for me.... just to say. Hope you can rest this eve...look after yourself. You deserve it my friend. To be safe and happy and loved. Whats the weather like over there? xx Your words always bring me joy, I'm so grateful we are friends! It is warm-ish but not really spring yet, BUT we are out of the clutches of winter snow at least... I'm hoping within the next few weeks we can put the coats away and break out the spring plants and maybe some short sleeves!! On 3/23/2022 at 5:32 PM, Novaurora said: Same on my desktop, but not on my phone. I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. And if we fall of another challenge, at least we fall off together. ALL THE HUGS!!!!! My thoughts exactly, we can fall as a team and support each other to keep going as a team!! ❤️ On 3/24/2022 at 1:19 AM, fearless 2.0 said: I wish I could send over a nice female attorney who would solve all your legal and grown up stuff! I promise that you will feel better again, this doesnt last! ❤️ Legal stuff just keeps showing up! And I'm just like!! WHY?? Can you please stop showing up at my house and in my mailbox??!! I can't wait to feel better again, I have a little hope lately for it... thankyou ❤️ On 3/24/2022 at 4:28 AM, Mr_Willes said: Yelling at the screen always helps for me. It doesn't fix anything but you feel better afterwards! I am always a fan of CONSTRUCTIVE YELLING (and even non-constructive yelling haha), it's good for energy flow or something!! On 3/24/2022 at 3:06 PM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, and do I very much understand. I'm always here to listen if you need someone and I'm so proud of you for taking the steps you need to start to move forward!! Thank you friend!! We can navigate these hard parts of our life together ❤️ On 3/25/2022 at 7:25 AM, Cheetah said: That's a good goal. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that all of the nonsense gets sorted soon. You are strong, and you can do it! I am doing my best!! Thanks Cheetah, it's good to see you here again too!! 23 hours ago, Jarric said: Lovely stuff! Keep up the good work! Maybe write down a list of things you have enjoyed in the past, and then see how you feel about them once you've listed them? JARRIC HI thank you!! ❤️ I think part of it is I am overwhelmed with The List so when I sit down to write it I'm like "!!!!!" but also "......" because I have no motivation.... it's a hard mix. Bleh. A big part of it though will be things I have enjoyed and want to experience again, you are spot on! 4 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
shaar Posted March 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Good morning nerdpals! Happy weekend!! This week was EXHAUSTING. Between work stress and shark week sneaking up and just Regular Ol' Depression I am very glad I have a weekend to recover. I did go to the gym yesterday! I was ready to deadlift but shark week snuck up fast and my lower back literally laughed at me (in pain that is) so I backed off at 95 whole-ass lbs and made the smart decision to switch to an upper body routine instead. I got a decent workout in if nothing else. I feel like garbage today but that's totally on me, hehe. I was looking at a lot of my old lifting logs from 2017 and WOW I was strong then! I honestly forgot how much I lifted and how diligent I was and it kinda of makes me feel like a small baby duckling right now, but ALSO I do realize I am shouldering a lot and not nearly in the frame of mind I was in back then. So, something to work for I guess. Goals goals goals. I am also PROUD of myself because usually weekends for me are solid times when I will have a drink (or a few drinks), but last night I didn't drink, and I don't want to today either. I 100% realize I am enabling myself by stopping by the liquor store on the way home from work, but if it's not in the house, I am making it easier for myself to be my best self. Not saying I'm never drinking again BUT the fact I haven't had anything to drink since Monday is very good for me and honestly a PR streak! Last night we watched a movie called Free Guy with Ryan Reynolds about a guy that's an NPC in an MMO and starts to break out of his role and think for himself, I'm not usually into comedies but this was cute and enjoyable! I think I'd rather watch horror movies though, hehehe. This weekend will be laundry and groceries and a little bit of cleaning but mostly relaxing and meal prepping for the week. Lunches are going to be cobb salads with egg and bacon and bbq chicken and I'm looking forward to it! Ok that's all from me~ Laaaater! 7 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Here is the book. @Scaly Freak recommended it to me, and I've suggested it to all kinds of people since. It helped me a great deal. https://www.amazon.com/Burnout-Secret-Unlocking-Stress-Cycle/dp/1984818325/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1BTKNVGFQU7RV&keywords=burnout+the+secret+to+unlocking+the+stress+cycle&qid=1648308061&sprefix=burnout%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-1 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
fearless 2.0 Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 2 hours ago, shaar said: Good morning nerdpals! Happy weekend!! This week was EXHAUSTING. Between work stress and shark week sneaking up and just Regular Ol' Depression I am very glad I have a weekend to recover. I did go to the gym yesterday! I was ready to deadlift but shark week snuck up fast and my lower back literally laughed at me (in pain that is) so I backed off at 95 whole-ass lbs and made the smart decision to switch to an upper body routine instead. I got a decent workout in if nothing else. I feel like garbage today but that's totally on me, hehe. I was looking at a lot of my old lifting logs from 2017 and WOW I was strong then! I honestly forgot how much I lifted and how diligent I was and it kinda of makes me feel like a small baby duckling right now, but ALSO I do realize I am shouldering a lot and not nearly in the frame of mind I was in back then. So, something to work for I guess. Goals goals goals. I am also PROUD of myself because usually weekends for me are solid times when I will have a drink (or a few drinks), but last night I didn't drink, and I don't want to today either. I 100% realize I am enabling myself by stopping by the liquor store on the way home from work, but if it's not in the house, I am making it easier for myself to be my best self. Not saying I'm never drinking again BUT the fact I haven't had anything to drink since Monday is very good for me and honestly a PR streak! Last night we watched a movie called Free Guy with Ryan Reynolds about a guy that's an NPC in an MMO and starts to break out of his role and think for himself, I'm not usually into comedies but this was cute and enjoyable! I think I'd rather watch horror movies though, hehehe. This weekend will be laundry and groceries and a little bit of cleaning but mostly relaxing and meal prepping for the week. Lunches are going to be cobb salads with egg and bacon and bbq chicken and I'm looking forward to it! Ok that's all from me~ Laaaater! I feel you on your thoughts about being strong in former years. I think of my CrossFit year 2018 and could laugh hysterically about what I did then compared to now. Your weekend plans sound great and I nudge you to rest more than you feel like resting. You need to wind down from all that shit happening in your life. Hurray for being dry for so long! My non alcoholic streak is long forgotten and I could do with some of your diligence here! sending hugs and good vibes all the way from Germany ! 1 1 Quote be fearlessly yourself! Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted March 27, 2022 Report Share Posted March 27, 2022 On 3/22/2022 at 11:51 PM, shaar said: I’m 100% going through the motions I'm pretty sure this is where I have been for the last... well, since time stopped having meaning sometime back in 2020 1 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Recipe Book Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
Mr_Willes Posted March 28, 2022 Report Share Posted March 28, 2022 On 3/26/2022 at 2:23 PM, shaar said: I was looking at a lot of my old lifting logs from 2017 and WOW I was strong then! I honestly forgot how much I lifted and how diligent I was and it kinda of makes me feel like a small baby duckling right now, but ALSO I do realize I am shouldering a lot and not nearly in the frame of mind I was in back then. So, something to work for I guess. Goals goals goals. I think this could be an excellent strategy slowly try to shift the weight from your mind onto your muscles! On 3/26/2022 at 2:23 PM, shaar said: honestly a PR streak! 2 Quote ... a little odd in the head ... Link to comment
Salinger Posted March 28, 2022 Report Share Posted March 28, 2022 Hey morning shaar hope your weekend was lovely ? how have you been feeling the past few days? 💙 lots of love to you xx 1 Quote Link to comment
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