shaar Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Hi friends - I went back and forth a zillion times about “should I post a challenge after falling off my last 183 of them” and I thought to myself… why not? What’s the worst that could happen, I make it 184? So hi, I’m shaar, and I’m 100% going through the motions. 🙃👋 Since my last updates in January my mental health has gotten worse than ever and I am currently struggling with high functioning depression - TL;DR my mom passed away very unexpectedly 6 months ago yesterday and my usual chaos life has been waaaay more of a tragic tornado than usual. I’m dragging around an enormous amount of trauma and grief and poor mental health from having to shoulder every bit of her passing and estate myself and now that the dust has settled things have gotten worse instead of better. I’m honestly not even sure what this challenge will BE or how often I will try and check in but it will at least be something. I’ve made a big decision to take a mental health hiatus from my job, which is a HUGE point of my stresses - I am at the point where I can’t function and do my job at the level I need to and I need to back away to get better. I am pretty much expending all of my energy at work to Keep Up Appearances and not lose my mind that by the time I go home or the weekend comes, I’m spending 80% of it on the couch or in bed, and that’s Not Okay. That will start next month (if I don’t have a meltdown and quit first ha ha ha) for a few months so there may not be a whole lot of posting here until I can get to that point where I actually have energy to do updates or, you know, actually give a flying heck about anything at all. My nutrition has been somewhat tragic 🙃 and my drinking has been a little bit excessive 🙃🙃 but I made a deal with myself yesterday that today the drinking was going to stop. So, there’s a goal! I haven’t been to the gym in a week but at least I hope to have the energy to tonight. And that’s about it! I will do my best to stay around this time and hang in there so I can start to get better and work towards CAPS LOCK SHAAR again. ❤️❤️ 5 1 3 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
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