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If I don’t make this thread now I probably won’t ever make it so half-formed ideas here we go!

 

1 - do things to beat 1:04:33 at June 5 5k

2 - stretch hamstrings and calves regularly because ow

3 - ???

4 - profit 

 

jk

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if flea did a 5k but didn’t post every two seconds to complain about it, did it really happen?
 

1:04:33 was my unofficial time today. Not sure when the official times come out but I’m half expecting a DNF for taking longer than an hour. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ When the race started I thought I was far enough back at the starting area to be with all the slow people but nooooope I was in the actual jogging bunch. So I jogged over the starting line and to the end of the first block before I could manage to get out of the way. Which resulted in an immediate cramp from like, the top of my foot to halfway up my shin? And despite various stretching breaks it didn’t fuck off until I passed the 2-mile marker so yeah that wasn’t fun. Hustled the last half mile or so but couldn’t make up for that time. Womp.

 

I’m bummed because I was certain finishing under an hour wouldn’t be a problem. but whatever, now I have something to aim for at the next one. Still not going to be running but I should be able to walk faster and now I know not to go near the starting line until everyone else is gone. >_> 

 

there’s also the fact that last night I was somewhat seriously considering not even going because I had so much anxiety about so many aspects of today. So I went, and I didn’t bail partway through (also a consideration), and I crossed the finish line before they packed it all up and left. Good enough for now. 

 

my father is being an asshole about it, which was fully expected but still sucks to experience. 

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19 minutes ago, fearless 2.0 said:

Hi flea, good luck with your challenge! I wish I could do a 5k again! Have a good evening! :) 

hiii good luck to you too!
 

13 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

For Goal #2, I have found that giving myself full credit for the day simply for doing 30 seconds of forward fold did wonders for me.

 

Oooh that’s a good one. I was googling stretches before I made this post and there were so many 15-minute YouTube videos. I knew there had to be something else. 

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So clearly despite my doing stretches and PT exercises, my knees and ankles need a lot more work. I’m freaking dying right now. I got a massage last week and she told me my hamstrings were crazy tight, even more than my calves which I know are awful. And of course that’s all connected so fml.
 

Coming up with the rest of my goals will be interesting. I feel like I’m headed back to the old standard where I’ll do a food goal and an exercise goal and then who tf knows. Write down all the usual goals I make and fail, then pick two out of a hat to try again? :rolleyes: I’m going to ask my nutritionist tomorrow if she has any ideas/suggestions, but we’re still in the beginning/feeling things out stage so that may just be a “do whatever goals we come up with weekly” thing. There’s also a 4-week meal plan I’ve been looking at in a book I read but I def don’t think I can commit to that right now so I’ll see if I can take pieces of it or something. 
 

Have I ever mentioned I hate the coming up with goals part of this? Hooray for shitty mental health ugh. 

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Hey, wait up! I'm here!!

slide deploy GIF

 

I know if I don't warm up properly my ankles/calves/shins pay for it and cause me no end of pain...generally five minutes at a steady (like 2.7 mph) keeps them from getting angry at me!

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Hi y’all! I will reply to everyone tomorrow. Right now I’m trying not to die. Legs hurt less than yesterday but still hurt, and the rest of me is just fucked. Woke up feeling sick and congested, which has gotten better over the course of the day but not totally gone; stomach is angry that food is a thing; brain has just checked the fuck out and refuses to be involved in anything whatsoever. I’m sure part of it is recovering from the exertion yesterday, part of it is probably recovering from the anxiety of yesterday, and part of it is probably just because it’s Monday. Who knows for sure. I’m going to go eat some vegetables and also hope that my father hits his head on something and dies while he’s up in the attic right now. Totally normal way to spend an evening. 

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hahahahahahaha I went on Reddit to check something Pokémon related since I can’t sleep and the top hundred fucking threads are about how Roe v Wade is going to be overturned. Definitely not fucking sleeping now. What a goddamn fucking joke this country is. 

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

hahahahahahaha I went on Reddit to check something Pokémon related since I can’t sleep and the top hundred fucking threads are about how Roe v Wade is going to be overturned. Definitely not fucking sleeping now. What a goddamn fucking joke this country is. 

Yeah. It is so discouraging. We're going backwards instead of forward. 

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8 hours ago, fleaball said:

hahahahahahaha I went on Reddit to check something Pokémon related since I can’t sleep and the top hundred fucking threads are about how Roe v Wade is going to be overturned. Definitely not fucking sleeping now. What a goddamn fucking joke this country is. 

I'm hoping - and praying - that the backlash will EITHER set an actual fire under Congress to fucking CODIFY it like they could\should have done at any point over the last 40 years - OR - there's a shift in the court before the decision is handed down and this is the MINORITY opinion and not the majority. But I'm not particularly ok either as the opinion, IN DETAIL, also puts other things squarely in the cross hairs.....

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Started off therapy saying I wish I hadn’t liked The Handmaid’s Tale so much when I had to read it in college. (Intro to Women’s Studies, obv.) Therapist says “you know Margaret Atwood’s kind of a TERF right?” Did not know that, don’t particularly care on a personal level because I didn’t know anything about her at all, actually, but fuck TERFs anyway. So that was a wonderful start to a therapy session that got super intense and I was not prepared for. None of it was related to any of this but still it was rough all around. 
 

I know I still owe people replies but I have to go shower. Replies when I come back. 

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Lmao well I wasn’t last…

2F867E35-66AB-43ED-938F-129A805587A0.jpeg.4762315684858799b2e7a7f15912df35.jpeg

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On 5/1/2022 at 8:55 PM, RES said:

Hey, wait up! I'm here!!

slide deploy GIF

 

I know if I don't warm up properly my ankles/calves/shins pay for it and cause me no end of pain...generally five minutes at a steady (like 2.7 mph) keeps them from getting angry at me!

 

Glad you made it! I thought I warmed up enough. Was def up and moving around before it started. Ah well, lesson learned I guess.  

On 5/1/2022 at 9:45 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

Hi

 

Flea, you did better at me then at the 5K since I never got off the couch.  I am amazingly proud of you for doing that.

And your Dad is ... well your Dad, so ignore him.

Maybe the food goal is "Do what Nutritionist says?

 

❤️ 

 

doing the nutritionist thing would be the smartest option for sure. I'm resistant to it for some reason though. meh. 

 

On 5/2/2022 at 7:09 AM, Tateman said:

Great work on the 5k. I really want to get myself able to do that stuff again

you can do eeeeet! I have another one the morning of June 5. Did not realize that was GO Fest. Pray for me.

 

On 5/2/2022 at 2:01 PM, Countess D'If said:

FLEA DID A 5K!!!!!!!

!!!!!

 

 

On 5/3/2022 at 5:09 AM, Emma said:

Yeah. It is so discouraging. We're going backwards instead of forward. 

 

On 5/3/2022 at 11:31 AM, Athaclena said:

I'm hoping - and praying - that the backlash will EITHER set an actual fire under Congress to fucking CODIFY it like they could\should have done at any point over the last 40 years - OR - there's a shift in the court before the decision is handed down and this is the MINORITY opinion and not the majority. But I'm not particularly ok either as the opinion, IN DETAIL, also puts other things squarely in the cross hairs.....

 

I was really hoping to wake up that morning to find out it was a mistake or bad joke or something. yeah no. I don't even know what to do other than shake my head in disgust. 

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Apologies for the world's largest screenshot. Took me way too long to figure out how to resize it. Also took me way too long to get around to posting today. My father has a colonoscopy Thursday and has been driving me up a wall over it since Saturday when the dietary restrictions started. Tuesday night he starts panicking because he was planning on having pasta for dinner but he doesn't think he can have sauce with it - because the sauce is red, and the instructions say to avoid red clear liquids the day before the test (so Wednesday). On top of that, even though the instructions from our hospital are very specific in what you can't have, he decided to google what other places say and started freaking out and getting confused that other hospitals and doctors have different guidelines. 

 

I'm not even fucking joking, I really hope he has a reaction to the sedative and fucking dies. I'm so tired of his shit. I genuinely don't even know at this point if he's just dumb and anxious or developing alzheimer's. I know he's freaking out because he's been having GI issues for months now with no explanation after several other tests, and his mother is the one with the genetic colon cancer thing, and this on top of his usual anxiety and executive dysfunction issues probably isn't great. But he's just driving me insane and I really cannot deal with him. God help us all if he actually gets bad news from this colonoscopy. I'm moving away and changing my name. 

 

Because he got squeezed into this appointment last minute it's in the middle of the day, which is fucking awesome because we'll be leaving right as rush hour hits and he's going to be hangry. Yay! It's not fucking worth it for me to drop him off and drive home so I'm just going to wander around Boston and catch Pokemon again. Why the fuck not. 

 

but so this post isn't entirely me complaining: I had cats sleeping on my bed today and they were cute. Fat Kitty also wormed his way under the covers in the morning and managed to tuck himself in adorably. That was nice. I like cats. 

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Okay this is TMI that no one wants to know but there’s no not-TMI way to explain my father’s stupidity right now. 
 

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So because he’s had GI issues for months now, he’s developed some raging hemorrhoids. (To match his personality!) He saw a nurse, she told him to get these medicated witch hazel pads that you basically use to just dab the medication on and then throw out, and you’re not supposed to use more than 6 in a day. 
 

This motherfucking dumbass

 

has spent two weeks

 

using them to wipe his ass after shitting

 

and then throwing them in the (open and uncovered) trash.


 

I can’t. I just fucking can’t.

 

I finally said something tonight, because up to now I’ve been trying to convince myself he isn’t actually that stupid. And he says no, it says on the container than you can use them like toilet paper.

 

what it fucking says is “can be used up to six times daily or after each bowel movement.” 
 

as in, clean yourself up and then use the pad to apply the medicine. Like the fucking instructions before that particular point even say clean the area with soap and water etc.  

 

and he keeps complaining that the medicine isn’t helping. I fucking wonder why.


so anyway it’s 4:30, we’re leaving in 6 hours, I doubt I’ll get much sleep because whose bed is right against the shared wall with the bathroom? Oh yeah, mine. At this point I’m thinking fuck Pokémon, I might just drop him off and go back to bed. I’m so over this fucking moron. 

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God I hate my brain. Trying to sleep, all kinds of thoughts bouncing around, oh here’s an idea! Since my father keeps trying to be healthy but going about it the most ass fucking backwards ways and failing miserably, clearly I should fire up the spite machine and become pro-athlete level fit immediately. Like lose 120 pounds and get abs by tomorrow. Yeah, that’ll show him. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

seriously though he looked at my bottle of basic multivitamins and then asked me what I thought about turmeric supplements. He doesn’t even know what turmeric is other than “supposed to be good for you” and also “that’s something you eat right?” (The implication being it must be gross if I eat it.) 

 

seriously. Send help. One of us is not going to make it out of this alive. I’m not sure which one of us it will be. 

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My father did not mysteriously die during his procedure. Kinda pissed. They also told him everything looked good, which on one hand is great but otoh that means the crazy GI saga continues. Which means I get to listen to him being a whiny little shit for even longer until they figure it out. 
 

i woke up after about 4 hours of sleep and said fuck it, I’m dropping him off and coming home because I don’t want to deal with people right now. And then the more I thought about it the more I realized I also didn’t want to deal with traffic, nor would I relax at all once I got home because I would just be waiting for my phone to ring. So I wandered around and caught Pokémon after all. All of them were shitty but they still count for something. And I walked 4km so there’s that. 
 

I did walk up some hills today and oh man something is fucked in my hips. I don’t know if it’s weak muscles or tight muscles or both, or neither. Don’t know if I need to be working on flexibility or strength or even which muscles are causing the issue. But doing anything that involves bending over is bad because of the hiatal hernia, so it doesn’t really matter. I really wish there were a thing like a full body evaluation to tell you where you’re weak or need to work on things and what to do about them. That would be helpful. I also wish there were a pool reasonably close to me for exercise but alas. 
 

im gonna go do nothing for the rest of the day now. 

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Wanted to go to bed early, haven’t yet because I got hungry so now I have to wait because reflux. Lame. Was still in a reasonably decent mood considering what the past 48 hours have been like. Went down to make food, dared to go into the living room to ask my brother a question relating to said food, got a monotone two-word answer and now my decent mood has evaporated and I am anxious as all fuck. I hate that this fucking happens. I know it’s trauma and I know I basically learned “if someone is in a bad mood things are going to suck for me real soon” but like… I don’t need this super intense knot in my stomach and the immediate tensing and waiting for some kind of explosion. I would really like my brain to learn “brother is a raging asshole but not a threat, roll your eyes and move on” instead of what it’s doing now. 
 

So anyway. Now I’m eating and I feel physically hungry but I’ve lost all appetite and kinda feel like throwing up instead. Which is awesome. Especially because one of the things with the nutritionist is learning to recognize when I’m hungry and then eating something instead of ignoring it. So now I felt the hunger and want nothing to do with food. I’m sure that’s a wonderfully helpful step in this process. 
 

in other news, even though I said I was going to do nothing all day, I did dishes, cleaned the nasty fucking kitchen sink, washed a set of sheets, cleaned my room, and started a grocery order. Go me. 
 

and then I was briefly convinced I have Covid. Simply because my throat is irritated. Which could be an illness, sure, or it could be allergies or dry air in the house or general stress response or aftermath of the 5k or just the fact that I haven’t slept well in a week or so and my body isn’t recovering. Plenty of non-Covid options, especially given the lack of other Covid symptoms. But no, my brain went right to the worst case scenario. Huzzah. I’m real fuckin over this shit. 

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Went to urgent care because my throat is bothering me so much. It doesn’t hurt to swallow or anything, which is why I’m not concerned, but it’s so irritated that every so often I start coughing so hard I’ve almost thrown up. Got a strep test (rapid was negative, 48 hours for the other one) and a covid test that I should hear back about tomorrow. No other covid symptoms so who knows what will happen with that. The doctor said sore throat is the most common symptom for the current strain so that’s not encouraging. If it turns out to be covid I’m going to be so pissed for so many reasons. But I’ll save that rant for tomorrow since it may not even be applicable. The doctor said my throat looks fine though, which I find odd; if it’s feeling irritated shouldn’t it at least look red or something? Idk. Whatever. 
 

so anyway. Haven’t done anything else of value today because I feel like shit. Adding honey to my grocery order to I can have all the tea tomorrow, currently chugging water and will be running the humidifier at night. Whatever it is I just want it to go away because it’s annoying.

 

happy thing to report: the current limited-time bosses in Pokémon GO super hard and need twice the number of people than usual to beat them. The app I usually use to join groups of randos around the world hasn’t accounted for this so it’s kind of a crapshoot. I’m in two local Discords but usually don’t say anything because everyone seems to know each other already which means I get hella anxious about like, intruding or whatever like they’re gonna be mad I sat at their table. But both Wednesday and today people were planning to go do boss fights and I put on my big girl pants and asked for invites. Which I got, huzzah. In the grand scheme of things it’s such a small thing, but I’m quite proud of myself. Please send cookies. 

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lol right, challenge. My food goal is just going to be making my own breakfast every day. Overnight oats, smoothie, bagel, whatever. I swear the only obstacle is going to be that I'm so not used to making my own breakfast. Which is the saddest fucking thing to say. But in grad school I either grabbed something on the way into my internship or slept late enough that lunch was my first meal of the day; and then I moved back here and was just grabbing something on the way to visit my mother; then when I was doing Lyft I’d just grab something while I was out or again, slept in until lunch; and since covid started I’ve regrettably been ordering breakfast from UberEats all the fucking time. Oh yay now I’m pissed at myself about it. I mean I’m trying to be nice to myself because we all know *why* I haven’t wanted to make my own food, but still. 
 

anyway. Breaking that habit. Making my own easy breakfast. The end. 
 

still trying to think of a 4th goal and also how to structure the ones I already posted. I’ll work on it more tonight but now I’m wondering if I’d have to scrap planned activity if I do in fact have Covid. Again, saving that for tomorrow after I get the results back but this is how my brain works. 

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My problem with breakfast is that it interferes with that extra 15 min of sleep - so as much as I used to say I'd rather eat than drink my food - I gave up and now just do protein shakes. I get chocolate and mix with Almond Milk and coffee when at home. When I travel, a scoop of instant milk plus scoop of shake mix in snack bags so I mix with water and coffee - 2 things I can ALWAYS get at any hotel.

I think I posted my Vegan Shake Mix before is you'd like it again as an easy alternative if you forget to do overnight oats and are out of bagels. It's a great backup and doesn't go bad :)

 

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"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still." - Chinese Proverb

 My Recipe Thread

1st dozen-ish Challenges for the curious 12,11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,More attempts, #1 with Intro, Failed attempts

Spoiler

Quick Bio: IT Consultant, Been in IT 25+ Years, Bounced around and landed as a traveling Consultant for a medium-sized Software Company. I love to cook & read, I travel for a living (although amount varies widely, sometimes I'm home for weeks, others I'm traveling for weeks on end), and trying to move out of Atlanta (plan in place, working to implement).

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  • fleaball changed the title to flea is not even trying.

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