[foxinthenorth]

Hello friends. It’s been a while.

 

My last challenge was with the rangers, ending in October. Mere days, in fact, before I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t spin up another challenge, as I spent the first trimester napping and trying to work and dealing with some difficult family stuff. Come second trimester, I was walking more and doing some yoga, and thinking about what my post-partum challenge might look like and how once I’ve recovered from childbirth I might take up kickboxing for a few months until I’m ready to have another baby.

 

But those idle daydreams, along with pretty much every other dream I had, ended suddenly in an early stillbirth. I delivered my poor baby, perfectly formed and inexplicably lifeless, at 24 weeks.

 

My doctor cleared me for exercise about two weeks ago, and I’ve done physical therapy for my core muscles maybe 10 times so far (didn’t see my chiro/PT until about a week and a half ago), plus a couple yoga routines and walking. I want to run for the psychological benefits, so I need to build up some strength and flexibility so I can do that safely. Really, I haven’t been this out of shape for years. (Hence the Rookie/Rebels guild this time — in a lot of ways, I'm starting from scratch.)

 

I'm up 13lb (11% of my pre-pregnancy bodyweight of 115lb) and spent my 6 weeks of post-partum disability leave crying on the couch, playing video games, and eating chocolate and takeout (we had many people bring us home cooked meals as well as GrubHub gift cards, but since cooking let alone grocery shopping was far outside our capacity, we still ate a lot of takeout). So what weight I lost by delivering, I gained back in sadness.

 

Given hormonal changes and the effects on my body overall I don't expect to return to pre-baby weight nor do I expect to fit into most of my jeans ever again. But the sheer dread of trying to find and buy a new work wardrobe when I was hoping to be taking care of a baby instead of working suddenly kicked in last week and I decided to at least try losing weight and see if I can keep my button shirts.

 

So my goals are twofold:

1. Regain enough strength and flexibility to run
2. Weigh in at 120lbs OR trim enough waist inches to wear my work shirts again

 

I intermittently remember how it feels to want to be strong and physically capable. I’ll channel that when I have it. But most of the time I just feel like broken glass inside. There’s no fixing this. I just have to keep going, and the fact I have to keep going feels like a cruel joke half the time. I know from past experience that running helps when all I want to do is scream, so that’s what we’ll do.

 

And breathe. We’ll do that too.

 

I played Kena Bridge of Spirits while I was home on disability. It was comforting.

[foxinthenorth]

Here's my plan for the challenge:

 

	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
May 1-7	Rest	✅ Sunrise Yoga (15 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises	✅ Full Body Flow (20 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises	✅ Feel Good Flow (20 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk ❌ Core Exercises ❌ Yoga for Wrist Pain
May 8-14	Rest	✅ Brain Body Balance (22 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises	✅ Yoga Joy (20 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk Core Exercises	✅ Morning Yoga Flow (22 min) Core Exercises	30 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises Yoga for Wrist Pain
May 15-21	Rest	✅ Gentle Yoga (25 min) ✅ Core Exercises	Jog: 5 minute walk, 10 minute jog, 5 minute walk ✅ 30 minute walk Core Exercises	✅ Yoga for Psoas (22 min) ✅ Core Exercises	Jog: 5 minute walk, 10 minute jog, 5 minute walk ❌ 30 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises	❌ Yoga for Runners (20 min) ✅  Walked instead Core Exercises	✅  30 minute walk ⚠️ (partial credit) Core Exercises Yoga for Wrist Pain
May 22-28	Rest	✅ Reunite with Your Body (19 min) ✅ Core Exercises	Jog: 5 minute walk, 10 minute jog, 5 minute walk ✅  30 minute walk (plus bonus walk) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ Strong | Move (22 min) ❌ Core Exercises	❌ Jog: 5 minute walk, 10 minute jog, 5 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises	❌ Morning Yoga (24 min) ❌ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk Core Exercises Yoga for Wrist Pain
May 29-June 4	Rest	❌ Full Body Flow (20 min) ❌ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk ❌ Core Exercises	✅ Yoga for Runners (20 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk ✅ Core Exercises	✅ Morning Yoga Flow (22 min) Core Exercises	30 minute walk Core Exercises Yoga for Wrist Pain
June 5-11	Rest	✅ Yoga for Runners (20 min) ✅ Core Exercises	✅ 30 minute walk Core Exercises	Deep Core (21 min) Core Exercises	30 minute walk Core Exercises	Travel for family wedding	Family wedding

 

 

The wrist yoga on Saturdays is a bonus. I'll update this comment with checkmarks as I complete each element of the schedule.

 

Update: I don't feel up to running yet so I switched those slots to walking. And the last two days of the challenge I'll be at a family wedding.

[Bluegreen]

Ventured here as a newbie, with no intention of commenting anywhere, but I couldn’t read and run. I’m so, so sorry for your loss and wanted to send some love, even though I’m a stranger ❤️ 

[fearless 2.0]

Im so sorry and I cant even begin to understand what you are going through! ❤️  Hope this group makes you smile and feel welcome! have a good challenge!  

[foxinthenorth]

1 hour ago, Bluegreen said:

Ventured here as a newbie, with no intention of commenting anywhere, but I couldn’t read and run. I’m so, so sorry for your loss and wanted to send some love, even though I’m a stranger ❤️ 

Thanks Bluegreen, I appreciate it 💕

 

48 minutes ago, fearless 2.0 said:

Im so sorry and I cant even begin to understand what you are going through! ❤️  Hope this group makes you smile and feel welcome! have a good challenge!  

Thanks Fearless! I've really enjoyed participating in challenges before so I'm hoping this helps me take care of my self as life goes on.

[Elastigirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love hugs and prayers.

 

I like your plan for the challenge!

[Snarkyfishguts]

I’m sorry for your loss.  

You have an amazing plan here, and I appreciate your sharing links to different yoga sessions. 💜
 

[sarakingdom]

I'm glad you're back. Not the reason for it, which is horrible, but that you were ready for community and find it here.

[foxinthenorth]

16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love hugs and prayers.

 

I like your plan for the challenge!

Thanks Elastigirl 💕

 

5 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I’m sorry for your loss.  

You have an amazing plan here, and I appreciate your sharing links to different yoga sessions. 💜
 

I'm doing the yoga plan with my sister and my husband. The accountability of my sister waiting for us to call her when we're ready to start the video helps a lot.

 

1 hour ago, sarakingdom said:

I'm glad you're back. Not the reason for it, which is horrible, but that you were ready for community and find it here.

I'm glad to be back, in the odd sort of way I'm glad about things these days. The friends I have been turning to most with emotional stuff are not particularly into fitness or nutrition (or they're passionate about strategies that don't work as well for me) so when I decided it was time to get moving, I knew the place to be was back here. I really think getting in shape again and taking up an active hobby once I'm strong enough will help me.

 

--

 

Updatewise, I did my yoga this morning! Had steak and eggs for breakfast 🤤  and I'm taking a break from work to make coffee now.

 

I weighed in at 125.2 which makes me think my starting weigh in (129.2) was a fluke because 4lbs in a week seems like far too much. My plan is to not change anything this week (from last week), and see what happens to gather more data points. I don't really know what my metabolism is like now.

[Mikroftt]

Hey Fox, sorry to hear your story but glad you are back.  We have had 2 kids since I was last on here and watching my wife go through the post partum stuff was not easy for our kids, so I can only imagine the emotions that come with your situation...  We have some friends who had a lot of troubles with pregnancies but recently were able to have a kid.  So there is hope!  It might not be now but that doesn't mean never!  I don't want to discount what you are going through but more to offer some encouragement. 

 

You seems like you are off to a great start if you have the whole schedule for the challenge done!  Welcome back! 

[Shello]

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss you are suffering.  Sending all the hugs and positive thoughts.  You've got a great plan for this challenge.  I'm here for support! 

[foxinthenorth]

2 hours ago, Mikroftt said:

Hey Fox, sorry to hear your story but glad you are back.  We have had 2 kids since I was last on here and watching my wife go through the post partum stuff was not easy for our kids, so I can only imagine the emotions that come with your situation...  We have some friends who had a lot of troubles with pregnancies but recently were able to have a kid.  So there is hope!  It might not be now but that doesn't mean never!  I don't want to discount what you are going through but more to offer some encouragement. 

 

You seems like you are off to a great start if you have the whole schedule for the challenge done!  Welcome back! 

Thanks Mikroftt. I do take hope for future children especially since I had no troubles with this pregnancy. I was low risk, got pregnant quickly, all my bloodwork came back good and the risk screening for trisomy-18 (fatal chromosome disorder) came back super low, and after she passed and I delivered her all the pathology screening came back negative, plus she had been growing on track and her anatomy ultrasound looked perfect.  In spite of all this, right now I only have fear of losing another one. But I expect with time the fear will reduce some and hope will grow.

 

I planned out my whole schedule so I don't have to think about what I need to do from day to day. 🧠 I'll have to think about what I'm eating, but I'm mostly cooking stir fries right now because they have a lot of veggies and are quick/easy, and I have snacks pre-planned.

 

1 hour ago, Shello said:

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss you are suffering.  Sending all the hugs and positive thoughts.  You've got a great plan for this challenge.  I'm here for support! 

Thanks Shello. I appreciate it. 🙂

 

--

 

It's encouraging to come here and have support and encouragement from so many people! Thank you~

 

I had a protein smoothie for lunch — I won't be posting about all my meals this whole challenge, but since I'm getting into the groove right now, might as well.

[foxinthenorth]

Updated my chart to include core exercises on every day, which it was supposed to. Did my core exercises last night and I did two sets of scissors just to highlight that my abs are in fact still quite weak 😅 I do feel a little better having done the core PT for nearly two weeks now, but I still have a ways to go.

 

I made teriyaki chicken stir fry last night. Stir fries are saving me in my healthy eating endeavors. Just chop and bag chicken, freeze it, get an assortment of veggies, and make some different sauces, and get some rice in the rice cooker early in the week.

[Shello]

2 hours ago, foxinthenorth said:

Just chop and bag chicken, freeze it

I'm a little embarrassed to say this additional level of prep work has never crossed my mind!  I love stir fries too!  When I really want to get a lot of veggies in stir fries are my go to.  I sometimes skip the rice and stir fry some cabbage night of.  It takes like 5 seconds and then I can add all the other veggies and the chicken (from the freezer! 🤯) 

[foxinthenorth]

34 minutes ago, Shello said:

I'm a little embarrassed to say this additional level of prep work has never crossed my mind!  I love stir fries too!  When I really want to get a lot of veggies in stir fries are my go to.  I sometimes skip the rice and stir fry some cabbage night of.  It takes like 5 seconds and then I can add all the other veggies and the chicken (from the freezer! 🤯) 

Honestly I never prepped my chicken before either. But I've been trying to streamline things as much as possible to conserve bandwidth and one day I knew I needed to freeze the chicken because we changed plans and were getting dinner with someone or something, so I chopped it into cubes and labeled the bags with what I intended them for and realized....this is easy...I just have to remember to take it out to thaw, but if I forget, one pound of chopped chicken thaws quickly in a bowl of water, so no biggie.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Here for the efficient cooking ideas... what type of stir fry sauces do you use?

 

Also yay accountability in two fronts for yoga. 

 

Sorry for your loss, a friendly internet hug. 🤗

[foxinthenorth]

11 minutes ago, Fairly_Bouncer said:

Here for the efficient cooking ideas... what type of stir fry sauces do you use?

 

Also yay accountability in two fronts for yoga. 

 

Sorry for your loss, a friendly internet hug. 🤗

Thank you 🫂

 

My favorite stir fry sauces are....

 

Teriyaki (recipe from Daring Gourmet)

- 1/2 cup tamari or low sodium soy sauce
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 1 1/2 teaspoons fresh ginger, minced
- 1 teaspoon garlic, minced
- 1 tablespoon honey
- 1 teaspoon sesame oil
- 3 tablespoons mirin
- 1/4 cup water mixed with 1 tablespoon cornstarch

Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 4 minutes.

 

Orange Sauce (adapted from Jessica in the Kitchen — unrelated to stir fry but I love her bang bang cauliflower)

- 1/2 cup orange juice
- 2 tablespoons orange marmalade
- 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
- one small garlic clove
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce
- 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
- 1/4 tsp sesame oil
- red pepper flakes

-1 teaspoon corn starch dissolved in 1 teaspoon water

Combine all ingredients except cornstarch in a small sauce pan before you start cooking and let simmer to reduce. Add cornstarch dissolved in water and simmer for another few minutes until thickened.

 

Peanut Sauce (adapted from an internet recipe for Thai peanut noodles but unfortunately I didn't write down the source)

- 1 tablespoon vegetable or canola oil
- 1½ tsp. sesame oil
- 5 tbsp. soy sauce
- 2 tsp. rice vinegar
- ½ tsp. Sriracha or to taste
- ¼ c. peanut butter
- 2 tbsp. honey
- 2 cloves garlic, minced

- 2-3 tablespoons water (adjust for desired consistency)

Mix all ingredients.

 

And then I really like this cashew chicken recipe.

[foxinthenorth]

Did my core exercises last night and today's yoga routine was a workout! I can tell I'm a little stronger than last week but still a long way to go. (Which is how I feel about my work performance as well, incidentally.)

 

I went over my calorie goals for yesterday (roughly, I'm going off potion size most of the time, did I mention that already?) because a friend brought us smoked tri-tip, grilled corn on the cob and asparagus, and mashed potatoes, and it seemed like a meal worthy of trying my cousin's home-brewed beer (of which my husband didn't want any, so I drank it all myself — I'm allergic to a particular bacteria used in fermentation, so I generally can't buy or order beer, but home-brewed meant I could find out what they used in brewing, so I was happy to drink this rare beer myself haha).

 

Scrambled eggs (2) and a whole grain English muffin for breakfast this morning, and I'm going to make coffee in a bit (I drink it black). I'm going to have a spinach salad with the last scraps of smoked turkey and a hardboiled egg and some bell peppers for lunch so that should, hopefully, I think, even out the beer calories, and then we're eating out with some friends tonight so I'll aim to eat light tomorrow too. (And then only 3 more days until my second weigh in and I can find out if my starting weight was a fluke, or if I went way too hard on the calorie restriction, hah.)

[foxinthenorth]

Okay so I know all of us here know how bonkers calories are, but for ~150 calories I could have 15 pretzel chips, or less than one Kind bar, or a salad made with the following:

1 cup spinach (13 cal)

3/4 oz smoked turkey (37 cal)

1 hard boiled egg (80 cal)

10g mustard (10 cal)

1 mini bell pepper (10 cal)

 

Which explains why in the past I've made salads for lunch and then been starving all afternoon. I didn't actually realize how few calories leaves have. In this case, I'm having mostly leaves because I'm anticipating a large dinner and will probably have another hard boiled egg for a snack later to make sure I have enough substance in me.

 

For my ballparking efforts:

Breakfast: 320 cal

Lunch: 150 cal

Afternoon snack: 80 cal

That leaves me about 1000 cal for dinner. That's an abysmally small number of daily calories but it's what the calorie calculator told me based off body size and activity level so I'm trying it to set a baseline. If I've lost 2lb this week I'll increase my calorie intake because I'm aiming for 1lb per week weight loss.

 

tbd if I survive the leaf life today 😂 so far I haven't had too much struggle with caloric restriction because my activity levels are fairly low and I'm recalibrating my sense of hunger after weeks of snacking and desserts.

[Elastigirl]

1 hour ago, foxinthenorth said:

d I'm recalibrating my sense of hunger after weeks of snacking and desse

I think this is an important thing to remember. When I have times in my life where I'm overeating junk food consistenly, my body often tells me I'm hungry, even when it's not. For me, tracking  helps me to  judge that me accurately.

Congrats on doing so well! 

 

[Bluegreen]

Feel you on the recalibration. For me, it’s recalibrating my taste buds to not crave sweet all. The. Time 🤣 that’s what happens when you develop a serious chocolate/cake habit during a pandemic it turns out. Who knew that the more sweets you eat, the more you want?!

 

Your salad sounds good, but not very filling it’s true! Maybe increasing the meat portion might help?

[foxinthenorth]

1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

I think this is an important thing to remember. When I have times in my life where I'm overeating junk food consistenly, my body often tells me I'm hungry, even when it's not. For me, tracking  helps me to  judge that me accurately.

Congrats on doing so well! 

Thanks! I did find that the urge to eat after I had already had dinner was usually sated by some tea, so that was a dessert habit. And I like the feeling of being recalibrated. Hunger feels more real, and I've also found in the past that I don't get as hangry when I'm eating lots of veggies and more in tune with my hunger.

 

51 minutes ago, Bluegreen said:

Feel you on the recalibration. For me, it’s recalibrating my taste buds to not crave sweet all. The. Time 🤣 that’s what happens when you develop a serious chocolate/cake habit during a pandemic it turns out. Who knew that the more sweets you eat, the more you want?!

SO TRUE. The first six weeks I was pregnant I couldn't eat any sugar at all without getting a headache. But then that went away, and I started eating sweets again. Then after we lost the baby, people brought us chocolate and baked goods and I ate so much of it guilt-free, that my sweet tooth went way up. Lately I've noticed I drink more diet soda to scratch the sweet itch, but I should get some fruit and try that again, especially since summer fruit season is approaching.

 

53 minutes ago, Bluegreen said:

Your salad sounds good, but not very filling it’s true! Maybe increasing the meat portion might help?

Definitely — last time I made a similar salad I used 3oz of smoked turkey. Today 3/4 of an ounce was all I had left of the meat. I'll get more when I get groceries for next week because I really liked the salad I had today and doing it with 2oz of turkey and maybe some cucumber would be 👌👌👌👌 Especially if it's a day when I'm going to have pretzels for my snack (like when I work in the office) and a normal stir fry dinner, I'll want the extra protein. Oh and I bet it would be really good with leftover meat from a rotisserie chicken!

[foxinthenorth]

I added some mustard and pretzel chips to my hard boiled egg snack cuz dinner isn't for another 2 hours. Pretzel chips and mustard are forming the base of all my new favorite snacks — the other day I had some of that smoked turkey with mustard and pretzel chips. It's just so satisfying to get the protein, the crunch, and the tanginess of the mustard in one small bowl that can be easily dialed up or down depending on caloric goals.

[fearless 2.0]

unfortunately I eat keto and cant try out your awesome sounding stir fry sauces. But I will try and adapt the peanut butter one. Have a chilled evening,, fox!!!  

[foxinthenorth]

21 minutes ago, fearless 2.0 said:

unfortunately I eat keto and cant try out your awesome sounding stir fry sauces. But I will try and adapt the peanut butter one. Have a chilled evening,, fox!!!  

The original peanut sauce recipe calls for 1/4c canola oil and no water! (I adapted it to make it lower calorie for now) I'm not super familiar with the details of keto but I think you could make that one work.  good luck!

 

--

 

UPDATE! I did my core exercises last night. I see my chiro/pt this evening. 

 

I went out to dinner and had fries with braised lamb, tzatziki, and pickled vegetables on top, my favorite. I didn't eat all the fries. My sense of hunger is nearly recalibrated because I felt satisfied in terms of how full my stomach felt and how much my body wanted to eat, before I mentally felt satisfied, so I stopped and waited and drank water.

 

I snuck in a midweek weigh/belly measure and I'm down a little bit more in both, so it's working! Currently planning a hangout on Friday with a friend during which we will eat Korean beef soup and I will introduce her to gin and tonic and we will paint, so gotta factor in a little higher calorie day then, but I suspect the 1500 cal the calculator told me is a little lower than I actually need so I'm not too worried about it. Portion control is getting me a long way. 💪

 

Have a good Thursday everyone!