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Sara Kingdom Wears the Lilac for the Glorious 25th of May


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1 minute ago, sarakingdom said:

this being an excellent challenge for cake

 

I think this is the tie-breaker. My cake recipe is pretty dense on almond flour and butter, and the cake is small, so it's actually a very efficient calorie delivery system, and it's easy to have a couple of pieces of cake when you're drinking a liter of tea or coffee all afternoon. Plus, THIS IS NOT THE END OF CAKE, and that probably makes cake mandatory. I just need to do more baking.

 

terry pratchett death GIF

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I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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Week 2 Day 5

 

 

Mon      Tue       Wed     Thu     Fri       Sat     Sun    

Journal

🖊️ 🖊️ 🖊️   🖊️    

Written Plan & Review

    🖊️ 🖊️      

Emotive Writing Exercise

             

Meditation

🧘‍♀️ 🧘‍♀️ 🧘‍♀️        

Walking

  🚶‍♀️ 🚶‍♀️        

Strength

             

Yoga

             

Assassin Style Bonus

🗡️

🗡️     🗡️    

 

 

Brother Big Wee Angus kicked back against the inkstand and put his feet up on a stack of paper. "Oi! Bigjob!"

 

Sara glared.

 

"We need tae get on wi' the drinkin' and the stealin' and the whatnot," said Brother Big Wee Angus. "It's been a whole thirty-seven minutes of pushin' yon pen around. This is nae life fae a Feegle."

 

"This is my job," said Sara. "I'm doing my job."

 

"Powerful dull, ye ken?" he said. "Jist a bit o' drinkin' and fightin' would liven it up no end."

 

Sara pinched the bridge of her nose. Surely a headache was coming on. "Why are you still here at all? I didn't ask you to be here."

 

"Oh, I've a job, too," said Brother Big Wee Angus. "This is it. The Big Man's payin' me to be yer spiritual advisor."

 

"Do you think maybe he meant the..." Sara waved her hand at the saffron kilt. "...time business and the enlightenment and what have you, rather than getting drunk and stealing sheep?"

 

Brother Big Wee Angus gave this some serious thought. "He didnae gie that impression, no," he said. "I hardly think there's likely tae be enlightenment without the drinkin' and stealin' o' ships, now, is there? There's nae a thing quite so enlightening as some special ship liniment and a bit o' swingin' a sword around."

 

"I ask," said Sara, "because ordinarily I'm paid not to steal things or drink on the job. The Patrician is something of a stickler in that regard." Well, more than most, anyway. And for certain types of stealing.

 

"Nae wonder ye need a spiritual advisor, then!" said Brother Big Wee Angus. "Ye're doin' it wrong, ye ken?"

 

"Well," muttered Sara, "I'm starting to need a drink, anyway."

 

Brother Big Wee Angus beamed. "Oh, aye," he said. "I'm guid at my job. I knew ye'd see th'light."

  • Like 4

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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19 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

I think this is the tie-breaker. My cake recipe is pretty dense on almond flour and butter, and the cake is small, so it's actually a very efficient calorie delivery system, and it's easy to have a couple of pieces of cake when you're drinking a liter of tea or coffee all afternoon. Plus, THIS IS NOT THE END OF CAKE, and that probably makes cake mandatory. I just need to do more baking.

 

Some time ago you gave me a recipe for dough that was made from cheese with a bit of almond flour to hold it together. It was mozzarella, but I'm sure you could use full-fat mozzarella. That would give you a low carb, moderate fat baked good for the savory side of things.

 

My lilac is blooming and my next task today is to make cake. B)

Level 63  Viking paladin

My current challenge   Battle log 

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31 minutes ago, Mistr said:

Some time ago you gave me a recipe for dough that was made from cheese with a bit of almond flour to hold it together. It was mozzarella, but I'm sure you could use full-fat mozzarella. That would give you a low carb, moderate fat baked good for the savory side of things.

 

Yeah, I can probably mix some up, put it in the fridge, and bake as needed. That could help.

 

32 minutes ago, Mistr said:

My lilac is blooming and my next task today is to make cake. B)

 

Our lilac is blooming as well! It smells wonderful. Like sweet, sweet revolution. But baking cake is not on my list today. Alas. Maybe cookies, though.

  • Like 1

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

 

You know an assassin is there when you can't see him.

  • Like 1

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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55 minutes ago, sarakingdom said:

 

You know an assassin is there when you can't see him.

I don't know what happened there. I was going to say something about a hard boiled egg in the absence of cake, but couldn't remember if that was part of the demands they made or not. I had to stop and get offline, and must have hit post when trying to delete the quote. Now as I have time to look it up the demands made on the 25th of may were:
Justice! Freedom! Reasonably Priced Love! And a Hard-Boiled Egg!"

Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Today I made schedule improvements. I started my day on schedule. I did the most important tasks on schedule. And I stayed on schedule for several hours, until I hit my afternoon rest break, meditated, and realized I was genuinely too tired to meditate properly (I got through it, but there was some tiredness hallucination in there, when you're not quite asleep but trying to be) and that was likely why I was resisting certain tasks on my list. So I took a nap, and then made cookies for me and dinner for everyone. Now I need to see what I can recover from my schedule.

 

The good news is, scheduling the new reduced task list out fully, with all the random challenge bits added on, worked well, and there were plenty of appropriate rest breaks. When my sleep deficit is more under control, I should have a workable schedule.

 

Bah, I need sleep. Sleep would solve all my focus issues, surely. Probably. Maybe.

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  • That's Metal 1

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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2 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I don't know what happened there. I was going to say something about a hard boiled egg in the absence of cake, but couldn't remember if that was part of the demands they made or not. I had to stop and get offline, and must have hit post when trying to delete the quote. Now as I have time to look it up the demands made on the 25th of may were:
Justice! Freedom! Reasonably Priced Love! And a Hard-Boiled Egg!"

 

Ooh, hard-boiled eggs would be good to have... and unlike truth and justice, I just might get them tomorrow morning. (Presumably, reasonably priced love depends on one's haggling skills and subjective notion of reasonability.)

  • Like 2

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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I'm having a major attack of the don't wannas. I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna.

 

Temper Tantrum GIF

  • Sad 1

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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11 minutes ago, sarakingdom said:

I'm having a major attack of the don't wannas. I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna.

I hear this. What would you rather do instead? Is there a way to do that and use it to transition into the things you don't want to do? Sweeten the pot so to speak?

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1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

I hear this. What would you rather do instead?

 

I don't wanna do that thing either! I really don't wanna today.

 

Okay. I will do the least annoying thing on my list. And watch Marvel movies while I'm doing it. And then I will see what the next least annoying thing is.

  • Like 3

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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Today I maybe wanna a little, but I'm also having an existential crisis. I think this calls for more Marvel movies. And brunch.

  • Like 2

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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1 hour ago, sarakingdom said:

I'm also having an existential crisis

 

Oh, dammit, this is part of my challenge that I'm supposed to be rotating in. I DON'T WANNA. But it's not actually hard, so I guess I will. Sigh.

  • Like 3

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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More ADHD dopamine hacks:

 

Spoiler

 

This is a bit sprawling, but let's outline it all.

  • The dopamine pathway can be pulled into conscious control.
  • The relationship between dopamine and the growth mindset: the reward system seems to attach to effort, the process of pursuing a goal, not just achieving a goal.
  • Neuroplasticticity can kick in to reinforce the process when the process and reward both release dopamine.
  • Consciously reframing difficult actions as steps in a process with a larger purpose can change the dopamine release.
  • Dopamine release can counter the adrenalin release of powering through difficult things, and suppress the negative effects.
  • Dopamine release to process steps relies on the conscious attachment of meaning.
  • The neural wirings are built by attaching subjective meaning to steps of the process.
  • The key thing is not just to go through the steps, but to pause and tell yourself you've accomplished a win in the process. This replenishes the effort spent on the action, rather than spending down available capacity.
  • Neuroplasticticity kicks in with heightened alertness.
  • Weird hack for stress/trauma: physical forward motion (walking) and also simply the lateral eye movements that mimic walking inhibit the fear response of the amygdala, and trigger the dopamine-related growth mindset response of leaning into stress.  
  • Take some physical action when overwhelmed or stressed, etc - this suppresses the fear center of the brain. Walking might be the strongest.
  • The activity level of the frontal cortex (executive function, etc.) has a huge impact on whether one views oneself as a winner or loser.
  • This brain area drives up stress to make the animal move forward (action linked to winning), and then to physically stop, experience despair, and quit when epinephrine/adrenalin is too high.
  • Quieting the stress of that brain area can be problematic, because it stops the circuit that drives action/winning/accomplishment/dopamine release. Reframing or recontextualizing it is probably healthier. Also, dopamine can inhibit the negative impact of that adrenaline, which might indicate that when feeling stress or the need to act, it's important to do something, even a token walk, to release dopamine and protect against that adrenaline level going too high. So suppressing the stress, but also suppressing the active response to that stress, can be an issue.
  • Serotonin/oxytocin is the reward system for things that happen inside your body (touch, comfort, gratitude, feelings), and dopamine is the reward system for things that happen outside your body (action, etc).
  • To stop the loop of negative thoughts: Thoughts can be deliberately introduced. Give yourself dopamine rewards in small increments, in particular increments that are related to progress and forward action. Don't worry about having negative thoughts, and focus instead on introducing thoughts to wire the dopamine reward circuits.
  • In essence, it's teaching yourself yourself enjoy friction and effort by consciously rewarding those things. (And avoid extrinsic rewards.) Learn to use self-reward to handle increasing amounts of strain.
  • Okay, this is a tangent. Hypnosis relaxes the nervous system to slightly undermine the linearity of the brain while still highly focused, and seems to open the door for neuroplasticity and rapid rewiring. (This is similar to meditation, I think.)
  • Certain breathing patterns will calm the brain quickly, like hypnosis. (A double inhale through the nose and long exhale through the mouth seems to be instant calm. Two or three rounds will do it.)
  • To heighten alertness/induce neuroplasticticity, the reverse pattern: longer inhales than exhales. (Wim Hof or kundalini breathing, etc.)
  • For rapid learning, first heighten alertness, then induce calm.
  • The most important thing you can do for your physical and mental health, if you do one thing: get 5-10 minutes of sunlight first thing in the morning. (Not what I expected, but hey.) (Relatedly, no strong light from 10pm-4am.)

 

  • Like 2

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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3 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

More ADHD dopamine hacks:

 

Oh, good, are we going to cure ourselves of the don wannas? (Don Juanas? Gondwannas? Goannas? Monitor lizards generally?) Last time I watched one of his videos on dopamine I quit the internet for a whole day! I'm still me, unfortunately. But seriously, are you going to implement anything? Since it's a lot of info, what first?

Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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6 hours ago, Harriet said:

Oh, good, are we going to cure ourselves of the don wannas?

 

I don't know if that's the source of the don't wannas, which is often lack of sleep, but it is a big part of ADHD treatment.

 

6 hours ago, Harriet said:

Last time I watched one of his videos on dopamine I quit the internet for a whole day!

 

Weird, I've never seen one of his dopamine videos talk about dopamine fasting. (Although this might be because he goes on for 90 damn minutes, and that's beyond my average attention span.)

  • Like 1

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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1 hour ago, sarakingdom said:

Weird, I've never seen one of his dopamine videos talk about dopamine fasting. (Although this might be because he goes on for 90 damn minutes, and that's beyond my average attention span.)

 

Oh, I may have watched other things as well, as a result of getting interested in dopamine generally. I think Huberman's advice was more like don't layer rewarding stuff (music, caffeine) in order to do hard stuff like the gym, or at least not every time.

Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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3 hours ago, Harriet said:

Huberman's advice was more like don't layer rewarding stuff (music, caffeine) in order to do hard stuff like the gym, or at least not every time.

 

I think I've heard him say that. BUT I LIKE COFFEE AND MUSIC. And it probably doesn't give me a free coffee pass because I can't (consciously) feel the caffeine, grumble grumble.

 

That makes sense with his discussion of external rewards harming the wiring of pathways that generate internal reward, though.

  • Like 1

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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15 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

More ADHD dopamine hacks:

 

And now that I have a few moments to go over the list, the action steps:

Spoiler
  • Consciously reframe small steps as steps in a process with a larger purpose.
  • Give yourself dopamine rewards in small increments, in particular increments that are related to progress and forward action.  Pause after completed actions to mentally reward myself for completing a step in the larger goal. Do this a lot.
  • When stressed or overwhelmed, go for a walk, or at least stand up and do something physical.
  • When massively stressed with a whole amygdala fear response going on, take a walk.
  • Reframe task or goal related stress as excitement, a la Kelly McGonnigal, rather than soothing it.
  • When feeling task or goal related stress, do any small step, even token exercise, rather than nothing, in order to release dopamine and protect against epinephrine effects.
  • Avoid external rewards.
  • The most important thing you can do for your physical and mental health: get 5-10 minutes of sunlight first thing in the morning.

 

And the associated tasks on the task list:

Spoiler
  • Put morning sunlight on the daily task list, and decide how to modify my current routine to slide it in there.
  • Create a daily log sheet for contextualizing tasks and noting completed tasks as progress towards a goal.
  • Create a checklist for what to do when stalled or garden-variety overwhelmed, and put physical activity and reframing stress as excitement on it.
  • Create a checklist for what to do when primitive human brain takes over, and put going for a walk on it (and possibly also reframing stress as challenge, but to make sure I'm walking while doing it, to suppress the amygdala response).

I think I'm actually pretty good at avoiding external rewards, in part because I'm converting all my rest activities from "have I earned it" to "rest is necessary to keep working". (Rest is therefore a step towards greater progress, and I am supposed to generate a sense of internal reward for resting my brain.)

 

And now it is time for me to give myself an incremental dopamine reward: I have just successfully taken a step towards the greater goal of hard-wiring some ADHD response and growth mindset in my neural pathways.

 

Now I'm going to rest my brain, stretch my body, and hydrate.

  • Like 3

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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Week 3 Day 2

 

 

Mon      Tue       Wed     Thu     Fri       Sat     Sun    

Journal

  ½          

Written Plan & Review

             

Emotive Writing Exercise

             

Meditation

🧘‍♀️ 🧘‍♀️          

Walking

             

Strength

             

Yoga

  ½          

Assassin Style Bonus

 

🗡️          

 

Not 100% sure what I did yesterday. However, today I had like, five deliberate dopamine rewards. Maybe six. I think they helped, cuz I got myself a bonus two or three I didn't really plan on after that. Small ones, but useful ones, cuz the habits are not quite solid. Oh, also another one just now, because I'm making progress towards my evening light restriction schedule. (Intermittent light fasting?)

 

It is hot, but I'm finally cooling off. (One of my dopamine hits was doing a chore involving window screens and rain guards. Hang on, let me enjoy the fruits of my labor for a minute and get another one.) My vertebrae were all locked up today. I think I finally got them to crack and unlock. I wonder if back strength exercises would help with this. They are on my list, and it is week 3, so it's probably time to rev them up a bit. I think three of the four habits I've had in play so far are kinda sticking. They're not 100%, but they're regular, which is a reasonable start.

 

I'm nearly prepared for tomorrow's revolution. Our lilac is out, I have my audiobook ready to sleep to, and I have the option to boil an egg in the morning. (That is the mandatory breakfast for the 25th of May.)

 

Ah, there's my sleep audiobook on the timer. We're officially counting down to the 25th. Happy Revolution, y'all. Don't die before the truce tomorrow.

 

 

Jobs to add to the list tomorrow:

Spoiler
  • Change the timer on the lights
  • Move the rug where I want to do yoga

 

  • Like 3

I felt like I could run forever, like I could smell the wind and feel the grass under my feet, and just run forever.

Current Challenge: #24 - Mrs. Cosmopolite Challenge

Past: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6,  #7#8, #9#10, #11a & #11b, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23

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19 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

I think I've heard him say that. BUT I LIKE COFFEE AND MUSIC. And it probably doesn't give me a free coffee pass because I can't (consciously) feel the caffeine, grumble grumble.


I like them, too. But maybe it would be good to subtract them from whatever habit I'm currently trying to ingrain?

 

19 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

That makes sense with his discussion of external rewards harming the wiring of pathways that generate internal reward, though.

 

Yes. Gotta get into the habit of talking to myself about how much I like the friction of doing hard things, instead.

Me, crying: "This is great!"

 

I hope you enjoyed your egg today.

Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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