[h3r0]

 

I was nervous but excited to move away from the last two years of working from home and returning to the office and just normal life in general. Somewhere along the way I have gotten lost. I do not recognize where I am or how exactly I got here.

 

A good sleep routine is not something that I have ever really had but lately it has gone straight out the window. Late nights, late mornings, always tired. My diet is total crap too right now, just junk and carbs. 

 

My workout schedule has always been clutch, may not be long or intense, but I got it in day in and day out like clockwork but I haven't exercised in a month now at least. I keep telling myself that I will start again tomorrow and then I don't which is unusual for me. 

 

I just keep finding myself becoming more and more isolated, finding less joy in anything, and just being increasingly pissy about everything. 

 

I just feel lost. I actually thrived the last two years but that time is over. I thought I could just hit the reset button to who I was before but that didn't happen. Plus I don't think I want to be that guy anymore. I want to build a new shiny life and future self but I have no idea what that would even look like other than not this. 

 

This challenge I will focus on reestablishing fundamental pillars that support everything else and allot time for self reflection and determination of what exactly I do want. 

 

 

Finding my way 

 

Challenge Goals:

 

#1 Sleep 

 

Sleep goals have always been my nemesis but I am making it my number one priority this challenge. I absolutely cannot do anything else or have the mental bandwidth without fixing this. I'm just too tired all the time. 

 

-phone off at 9:30

-bed at 10

 

#2 Exercise 

 

No workout goals other than do it and reestablish the habit. 

 

-5:30am workout, 4-6 days a week 

 

#3 Mental Space

 

I absolutely need this. I need to carve out time daily for my mental space. This is to be used for destressing activities, planning, what if day dreaming, and creative activities. I don't know what this will look like yet but it is the second priority this challenge. 

 

-make a plan and do it 

 

 

[Harriet]

Sounds like a rough sort of transition. Focusing on the the basics that can support physical and emotional health sounds prudent. Good luck!

[Conquius]

Hey, I wanted to tell you I understand how you feel. I found myself in a similar position last year, struggling to put my life back together. 8 months passed, and I'm thriving.

 

You're on the right track. Let me know if you want an accountability partner 👍

[h3r0]

 

Asleep by 10:30pm

 

Workout 

 

Halos 

Shin box 

4 Getups 16 kg 

2 KB Press 24 kg 

 

Just getting some movement in is a win. 

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

On 5/3/2022 at 8:53 AM, h3r0 said:

I actually thrived the last two years but that time is over. I thought I could just hit the reset button to who I was before but that didn't happen. Plus I don't think I want to be that guy anymore. I want to build a new shiny life and future self but I have no idea what that would even look like other than not this. 

 

This means you have a good starting point - you know which direction you don't want to go. You have also realized that trying to go back to where you were is not going to work. These things aren't necessarily helpful, but it's good data to work from.

 

Can you make the mental space a part of a daily walk? That way you get away from all the distractions in your home, including the people in it, and can listen to an audio book, or to music or podcasts if that is your preference. 

[h3r0]

16 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Can you make the mental space a part of a daily walk? That way you get away from all the distractions in your home, including the people in it, and can listen to an audio book, or to music or podcasts if that is your preference. 

 

Possibly but that reminds me that I use to use music therapy pretty effectively to combat anxiety flare ups and I haven't done it in so long. Used to put in the ear buds and just zone out and jam in my own world. 30 minutes and I was a new person. 

 

Might need to bring this back. 

 

[h3r0]

 

1. Sleep 

 

Didn't go to sleep until 11pm. Woke up randomly at 2:30am and actually thought it was morning. Back to sleep by 3am and turned off alarm and overslept this morning. 

 

2. Exercise 

 

Nope, see #1

 

3. Head Space

 

Updated bullet journal minimum. Wasn't a huge time investment but feel a little bit more in control. I will do some music tonight and maybe brainstorm on the future. 

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

4 hours ago, h3r0 said:

 

Possibly but that reminds me that I use to use music therapy pretty effectively to combat anxiety flare ups and I haven't done it in so long. Used to put in the ear buds and just zone out and jam in my own world. 30 minutes and I was a new person. 

 

Might need to bring this back. 

 

That sounds incredible. I use music for the same thing, and it's amazing how effective it is. Highly recommend. Bring back the music!

 

 

[h3r0]

 

1. Went to bed late, 11pm, and had trouble getting to sleep. Woke up with my alarm but laid in bed awhile before I got going. 

 

2. Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 5 X 45:60s

6 Getups 16 kg 

 

This actually felt really good. True test is if I can do it again tomorrow. 

 

3. Mental Space 

Did some coloring in a adult coloring book. Fun cyberpunk I picked up. Just for decompression 

 

 

[h3r0]

 

1. SleepW

Went to bed late and woke up early. Hmmmm

 

2. Exercise Habit 

 

Jump Rope 5x 45:60s

6 Getups 16 kg 

 

3. Mental Space

Did a little drawing 

[h3r0]

 

1. Sleep 

 

Insomnia. I still managed to get up on time. 

 

2. Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 5x 45:60s

2 Pushups 

 

Out of town last week for work so I was the first time I have had a chance to exercise. 

 

3. Mental Space 

 

Hmmm. I've been coloring a lot in adult coloring books, listening to a lot of music, how to speak Chinese podcasts, deleted my Instagram account, and spending a obscene amount of time on Twitter. So much has been going on in my life the last few weeks it really has been a blur. But strangely feeling a little bit better. 

 

 

[h3r0]

 

1. Sleep

 

Asleep by 11pm, awake at alarm

 

2. Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 5x45:60s 

2 Pushups 

1 Chinup

 

3. Mental Space 

 

No real updates today but feel like some planning later. 

 

[Defining]

1 hour ago, h3r0 said:

Asleep by 11pm, awake at alarm

[h3r0]

 

Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 5x45:60s

2 Pushups 

1 Chinup 

 

The jump rope is definitely getting easier 

 

[h3r0]

 

Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 4x60:90s

3 Pushups 

2 chin ups 

 

 

[juliebarkley]

I love your mazes. Loving less that you feel trapped in one though. @Scaly Freak is right - knowing where you don't want to be is a good step to figuring out where you do want to be. Especially if you can work out, specifically, what parts of your current life are not working for you or are actively sabotaging your mood.

 

How has goal # 3, the second priority, been coming along?

[h3r0]

 

Update for the week 

 

1. Sleep 

Hit or miss. I stopped stressing about it. I went to bed late last night but slept in really late which was nice. 

 

2. Exercise 

Getting back into the groove with 3xWeek target. Actually getting maybe add a little more vibes. 

 

Tue and Thurs 

 

Jump Rope 4x60:90s 

3 singles Chinups 

3x4 Pushups 

 

3. Mental Space 

 

I revived my weekly planner. Plot out my goals and tasks for the week and check them off as I complete them. I am a big planner and if I don't have one I feel lost and don't know what I am doing. I have also come to realize that I have a tendency to over plan and become too ridged, lost in the plan and not living, and beat myself up if I don't meet my goals and plans. I need space in those plans to breathe and take in my surroundings around myself and live my life instead of living in my plan in some future state. I am working on how square the circle between those two now. 

 

 

[h3r0]

 

Training 

 

Jump Rope 4x90:90s

4 singles Chinups 

3x5 Pushups 

 

OK so that was actually a challenge. 

 

On another topic. My old fencing club is still inactive and I haven't been able to find a new one yet. But I did manage to find a HEMA club in town that looks pretty active. Do I want to hit people with a long sword? I really need the socialization and even though I only got to do it for a few months I desperately miss having a sword in my hand. Strange how I have had other hobbies and activities that I used to do for years and I don't miss them a bit. Dang anxiety about new groups of people, showing up and not knowing what to do. They meet on Sundays and I am out of town next weekend so I have two weeks to decide if this is something I would want to do and to get my courage up if I want to do this. 

 

 

 

[Brovatar Korra]

15 hours ago, h3r0 said:

 

 Do I want to hit people with a long sword?

 

 

YES!!!

[Scaly Freak]

15 hours ago, h3r0 said:

Do I want to hit people with a long sword?

 

Is this a rhetorical question?

[juliebarkley]

On 5/29/2022 at 8:15 AM, h3r0 said:

They meet on Sundays and I am out of town next weekend so I have two weeks to decide if this is something I would want to do and to get my courage up if I want to do this. 

Do they give you a free first lesson? If so, you could have a no-risk, no-commitment thwacking day. Just saying.

[h3r0]

 

Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 4x90:90s 

4 singles Chinups 

3x5 Pushups 

 

 

[h3r0]

 

Exercise 

 

Jump Rope 4x90:90s 

4 singles Chinups 

3x5 Bench Press 115# 

 

Adding a little bit of weights to routine 

 

 

[h3r0]

 

Passed out last night. Went to a concert this weekend and led to a very late night. 

 

Exercise:

 

Jump Rope 4x 120:120s

5 single Chinups 

3x5 Bench Press 115#