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15 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

*note to self: watch dance academy* ;) 

Yes do it! And if you wanna talk about it, I'm here. :D

 

13 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Also glad it's not Covid! Feel better soon!

Thank you! :) 

Already feel a bit better, but not yet handstand-worthy. xD

 

 

I spent the day today working from home and finishing Dance Academy. I don't know what to do with my life now. xD Probably get to studying... xD 

It's like if you finish a good book and are not yet ready to let it go, to let the people, that have been a part of you life go... 

 

Our DM sent us this artist on spotify and I'm in love with it, and it cheers me up after the doom and gloom (but in an awesome way) of Dance Academy:

 

 

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Challenges: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, 13, 1415

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On 5/17/2022 at 1:25 AM, Epsilonte said:

Oh dear... I'm just now watching the end of season 2 of Dance Academy and NOW I'm crying. 

It starts so nice and fluffy and gets so dark... QQ I guess that's life... (sorry, not challenge related, but I kinda needed to talk about it xD)

I KNOW THE FEELS! I considered warning you but didn’t want to spoil anything. 😄It’s really unexpectedly rough for this kinda show.

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1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

I KNOW THE FEELS! I considered warning you but didn’t want to spoil anything. 😄It’s really unexpectedly rough for this kinda show.

Totally!! I read (in the youtube comments, lol :D ) that the whole story is based on the author's life and it is something that happened in her life, so it makes sense, but I was NOT expecting that in this kind of show. I do think they show the whole aftermath in a really realistic way though. 

Challenges: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, 13, 1415

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9 hours ago, Epsilonte said:

Totally!! I read (in the youtube comments, lol :D ) that the whole story is based on the author's life and it is something that happened in her life, so it makes sense, but I was NOT expecting that in this kind of show. I do think they show the whole aftermath in a really realistic way though. 

Oh interesting, didn't know that. It does make a lot of sense, I feel like TV writers wouldn't typically have chosen at least some of the story arcs.

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Friday! 

I still got my cold, but it's just a nasty cough now that will probably persist for a few weeks, as it tends to do... I tried a few handstands today, very carefully with the ball. Did two sets of 5 and that is enough for now. xD But I'm back in the handstand game, bitchezzz. :D 

 

I might or might not also have looked up some hip hop and ballet classes for adults (I tend to get really obsessed with things, ok? xD)... Ah, I want to start again, it's been 20 (!!!) years since I stopped. xD But I don't really have the time for it right now. :(

Also there is an amazing dance festival here every year in summer and each year I wanted to participate but didn't. Maybe I'll try it this year? I just wish it was 2-3 weeks later to better go with my school holidays in August... I'm full into an internship when it starts, don't know my working hours there yet...

 

Maybe I should just get on tiktok and learn those dances. :D :D 

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I just did a beginner ballet class on youtube and it was great fun! I can kinda remember some things from way back when. My technique is horrible though and my turn-out non-existent. xD Also I will definitely feel my calves tomorrow. I did take a little break halfway through though because I'm still not quite healthy yet and this stuff is harder than it looks. ^^

 

Now back to studying and I plan my second movement break today to be handstands again. :) Maybe I manage 2x6 today... xD

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1 hour ago, Epsilonte said:

I just did a beginner ballet class on youtube and it was great fun! I can kinda remember some things from way back when. My technique is horrible though and my turn-out non-existent. xD Also I will definitely feel my calves tomorrow. I did take a little break halfway through though because I'm still not quite healthy yet and this stuff is harder than it looks. ^^

 

Now back to studying and I plan my second movement break today to be handstands again. :) Maybe I manage 2x6 today... xD

In my next life I want to be a ballet dancer! happy for you that you can actually do some of it in this life :) 

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be fearlessly yourself! :onthego:

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On 5/21/2022 at 2:17 PM, fearless 2.0 said:

In my next life I want to be a ballet dancer!

What keeps you from trying in this life? :D (it's a very nice hobby. :)

 

 

Sunday was spent studying and cleaning the flat, as usual. :) Did a few handstands on the freshly cleaned floor which was nice. xD

 

Monday: Had an exam and school in the morning, chilled all afternoon (minus doing a little groupproject that is due tomorrow - I also have one due on Wednesday, but just couldn't bring myself to do anything today xD). Now I'm off to bellydance and pole class. :D Could be worse.

Still coughing, still negative, so I'll just ignore the cough and dance. :P If I can (have to) go to school, I can also go to dance class. xD 

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I was DEAD after the two classes yesterday (and those both weren't particularly stenuous classes). xD I notice that I'm not up to my full strength and endurance, but it's ok, still getting over that cold. I also really felt that I haven't done a choreography class in ages (I mean one that I didn't write the choreo for :P ) and I've gotten slower in picking up the combos and stuff. I really want to do more of those... Ah, if the day only had more hours (I'd love a week that is 10 days long with a 5 day weekend to have enough time for all the fun stuff I want to do xD). 

After being dead and stuff I totally forgot about doing my handstands. My one goal. Oops. I'll try to make up for it today. :) 

 

 

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Challenges: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, 13, 1415

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On 5/21/2022 at 3:17 PM, fearless 2.0 said:

In my next life I want to be a ballet dancer! happy for you that you can actually do some of it in this life :) 

+

On 5/23/2022 at 6:07 PM, Epsilonte said:

What keeps you from trying in this life? :D (it's a very nice hobby. :)

Right, plus it's much better as a hobby than the physically and mentally brutal discipline it is. 

 

On 5/24/2022 at 3:48 PM, Epsilonte said:

I've gotten slower in picking up the combos and stuff.

It's so interesting how this ability is trainable. I'm let's call it... choreographically challenged... but I've really noticed an improvement recently. Yesterday my mind was crazy all over the place distracted and last year that state would've crushed my ability to do anything at all. But yesterday my body sort of remembered for me? I mean I still kept forgetting, but I was never so out of time I kicked anyone, and that's what I call a win. :P 

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4 hours ago, MezzotheLefty said:

Man, this cold is really hanging on! :( I hope it goes away soon and you feel 100% again!

It's not that bad, just the cough that is persisting and those tend to stay for 2-3 weeks for me. Or more. I blame my asthma. xD I have a nice cough syrup now that keeps me sane and enables me to still teach my classes without having to cough too much. :)

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Right, plus it's much better as a hobby than the physically and mentally brutal discipline it is. 

Oh yes. Totally. Also no need to go on pointe ever, the rest is just as enjoyable and doesn't hurt as much. :P :D 

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

It's so interesting how this ability is trainable. I'm let's call it... choreographically challenged... but I've really noticed an improvement recently. Yesterday my mind was crazy all over the place distracted and last year that state would've crushed my ability to do anything at all. But yesterday my body sort of remembered for me? I mean I still kept forgetting, but I was never so out of time I kicked anyone, and that's what I call a win. :P 

Oh yeah it totally is a skill like any other (same with freestyling btw. :D ). 

Yay for not kicking anyone, you rock! :D (and I mean it)

Challenges: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, 13, 1415

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Tuesday was rather uneventful. Oh, I have one highlight: Played Guild Wars since we had guild raid and I got a super rare drop. First one of its kind in all the over 9 years I've been playing... xD I legit thought those things just don't drop for me... xD Feels good. :D 

 

Wednesday was fun. I had only one pole class but it was soooo much fun! Did just a few super quick handstands afterwards since the room was occupied. But still, awesome day all around. :) 

 

Thursday was a public holiday here, so it was a chill study day. Two pole classes and some more handstands afterwards. :) Today I could really feel myself floating in that handstand again, it almost starts to feel somewhat stable for a second or two. :D I'm super close to get this, I can feel it!! :D I did just normal wall handstands because I haven't done as many in the last few days as I'd like. 

Now very tired and off to bed. :) 

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Some days are high, some days are low. Saturdays tend to be on the lower side for me, don't know why but I can see a pattern. 

I tried to study today (two weeks with three exams to go! Then I'm kinda free and doing internships xD), but it wasn't very fruitful.

Negative rant inc, feel free to skip, I just find writing it done somewhat cathartic:

Spoiler

I'm at that point now where I don't know why I'm doing this to myself and what's the point in all of it?  

Usually I like my studies and think that I will be an awesome Physio, but on some days I regret quitting my normal job and doing this. Mostly right before an exam... xD I really don't do well with exams, even after all this time. And maybe it was a bit much in the last months, but I just can't anymore. I don't want to anymore. Well quitting isn't an option so I have to finish this, and it's only one measly year to go but still... 

And I absolutely hate it if people ask me if I'm having fun with the studies. Most of the time - yes. Sometimes - hell no. MIL asks me this EVERY TIME I see or hear her, and always with this "you sure you don't regret it" undertone. No I'm not sure. Time will tell. I don't wanna talk about it. Stop asking. Now I can't say that to her because all I get then would be pity and I don't want that. Just wanna work this stuff out for myself... (Can you tell I saw her today? xD And now she wants a "monthly meeting to drink coffee and talk"... I don't even have such a thing with my best friends because I don't have the time... Not gonna happen, at least until this school stuff is over. 

 

I bet in two weeks when everything is done, all the deadlines are past and all the exams are done I'll be my chipper self again, but right now I wanna hide under a rock and cry myself to sleep. I had a few plans in the next days and weeks and cancelled them all today. Only thing that is staying are the dance classes. I need them. 

 

Hubby just went out to get Schnitzel and fries and I really hope this helps, but I can't eat my frustrations away* every time... Ah well, rest of the evening will be guilt free eating, netflix, cuddling and maybe a bit guildwars. 

Tomorrow all will be well again, as usual, Sunday is usually better than Saturday, but Saturdays are really killing me right now. xD Especially since exams tend to be on Mondays... 

 

*Complication there: I stumbled over some old pole videos from 2016, when I was thin and strong and 10kg lighter than now and now I feel fat and weak and arrrrrgh. It's all playing together. Usually I don't have a problem with my weight and I like my body and what it can do, but some days are hard. And then I start hating my little tummy. I already had it when I started pole in 2013 but that was gone by 2016 and now it's back and apparently here to stay. And then I want to never eat ice cream again. While eating ice cream. 

 

Thank you for reading my rambles. Much appreciated. :)❤️ 

 

 

At least I did my handstand again today, 10 ball-assisted ones until my abs started burning. :) 

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Good luck with your exams!

 

Spoiler

That sounds hard! Like you said, the future will tell whether or not your choice to go studying again was a good one, and I think it is only harmful to analyse that decision too much at this point in time. It's so frustrating that your MIL doesn't seem to understand that you don't want to talk about it, I feel for you! 

 

Also, my weight seems to adapt to my stress levels: when I'm more stressed, I gain weight due to snacking and comfort food, and if I'm relaxed, I automatically lose weight again. Could it be that it works the same for you?

 

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19 hours ago, Waanie said:

Good luck with your exams!

 

  Hide contents

That sounds hard! Like you said, the future will tell whether or not your choice to go studying again was a good one, and I think it is only harmful to analyse that decision too much at this point in time. It's so frustrating that your MIL doesn't seem to understand that you don't want to talk about it, I feel for you! 

 

Also, my weight seems to adapt to my stress levels: when I'm more stressed, I gain weight due to snacking and comfort food, and if I'm relaxed, I automatically lose weight again. Could it be that it works the same for you?

 

 

Thank you!! :)

 

Spoiler

You might be onto something with the eating and stress there. I tend to eat a lot more sugary stuff when I'm stressed and a lot less "good" stuff... And I've been stressed for quite a while now. xD Plus less time for working out which also doesn't help. Back in 2016 when I was super fit I didn't do much else besides pole dancing every day and working 25h a week... What a life. xD

I hope this gets a bit better with the internships when I don't have an exam every week... We will see. One year to go... 

 

 

10 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

Read your hidden content and can understand everything you write. Sending hugs and good luck for the exams!

Thank you!! ❤️ Much appreciated. :) 

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I'm feeling a bit better today, but still not great... 

Started the day with a zoom session with my fellow students talking about tomorrows exam.

Spoiler

Also a pet peeve of mine... We do these sessions before every exam and they help a lot. I like to do them in such a way that I have the evenings free to wind down and destress. They like to START at 8pm and go for 2-3 hours... Not my style. We actually planned to do this session yesterday afternoon (!), and when I asked about the starting time and got "after 8pm" as an answer I nearly lost it. xD Told them that is too late for me and to go on without me, but they gave in and so we did it today in the morning. And it was nice not being super tired for this for once... xD 

Then I did a few hours of procrastination and some more studying, now I'm finishing another thing I need to do (or rather right now I procrastinate some more ahem... I need to turn this in today, so I will finish it sooner or later anyway xD). And as soon as this is done, I don't wanna hear any school stuff for the rest of the day. 

 

Tomorrow will be a bit nicer, with lots and lots of movement and dance and I hope that will help as well. :) 

 

Still need to do my handstands, but hubby is running around with the vaccuum right now so I'll wait until he is finished and the floors are nice and clean again. :D #blessed (usually I clean the bathroom while he cleans the floors but I fear that might not happen today)

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