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4 minutes ago, Marauder said:

Im in Utah.  I can't help anyone.  Not even myself or my daughter.  Im mostly just angry.  I imagine there are plenty of us feeling that right now.  I've always been the minority here in many ways, but its feeling more and more burdensome as time passes.

Tennessee here. Literally not a single dem even RUNNING for most local races. And watching\reading local "debates" makes me want to scream. It's the same back home in SC where I grew up - and I just couldn't stay in Atlanta (although my district flipped blue in the last election - I was about ready to commit felonies on my neighbors and needed to go where there were fewer people). I will personally be poking our state party leadership about WTF to do in our district - state and federal - before 2024.

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Quick Bio: IT Consultant, Been in IT 25+ Years, Bounced around and landed as a traveling Consultant for a medium-sized Software Company. I love to cook & read, I travel for a living (although amount varies widely, sometimes I'm home for weeks, others I'm traveling for weeks on end), and trying to move out of Atlanta (plan in place, working to implement).

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21 hours ago, fleaball said:

Dear diary,

 

today after helping my father complete more than half a dozen tasks and instructing him to do others while I worked on things, I told him “you better hope you die before I move out or you’re screwed.”

 

he didn’t really appreciate that. 
 

#sorrynotsorry

LOLz. He is such a lump. 

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I’m gonna fucking murder people. Mostly my father. Yesterday I asked him if he was going to the Thursday night car show because if yes I’d get groceries delivered but if not I’d pick them up from the store and run other errands at the same time. He said he was going. So today I’m like great, the delivery is coming shortly before he’d leave, my brother is going to work around the same time, I’ll have the house to myself for a bit and I’ll make some food. 
 

he’s not going. 
 

i can still make what I wanted because it’s mostly cutting things and not cooking but like… fuck you? I specifically asked what you were doing today and made plans accordingly and now that’s all just gone out the fucking window. 
 

hilariously, my homework for my nutritionist this week is to “observe the flow of the kitchen every day” to see if I can identify a time where no one else is around to bother me so I could jump in and meal prep or something. I love her but she just doesn’t get that rules and patterns don’t apply in this house and as soon as I identify something that might work they just change up their routines as if they can read my mind. 
 

Now I’m going to be angry for the rest of the day. And I still have to shower and go to target, plus whatever other fucking bullshit comes my way. 

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9 minutes ago, fleaball said:

she just doesn’t get that rules and patterns don’t apply in this house

I SO feel this. I love my hubby - but because of his health issues he is completely unable\incapable of having anything resembling a set schedule. But the kitchen is MINE and he doesn't complain (possibly because he knows he BETTER NOT) when he gets a plate in the fridge if he sleeps through dinner..... but lots of people don't understand that he flips his schedule REGULARLY unless he absolutely HAS to do something\be somewhere that he simply cannot bail on.....

 

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"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still." - Chinese Proverb

 My Recipe Thread

1st dozen-ish Challenges for the curious 12,11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,More attempts, #1 with Intro, Failed attempts

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Quick Bio: IT Consultant, Been in IT 25+ Years, Bounced around and landed as a traveling Consultant for a medium-sized Software Company. I love to cook & read, I travel for a living (although amount varies widely, sometimes I'm home for weeks, others I'm traveling for weeks on end), and trying to move out of Atlanta (plan in place, working to implement).

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On 6/29/2022 at 8:53 PM, Severine said:

Wait...he thinks you're seeing a robot therapist? Or does he mean like...setting goals and having friends online?

 

The pension thing is a classic case of skewed priorities. I've heard so many stories of him doing dumb things that cost him a bunch of money and/or time (poor decisions about repairs on the house come to mind) and he seemed fine with all of that, but can't let that $63 get away.

I don't even fucking know. Like, best case maybe he doesn't understand how therapy can work if you're not in the same room with them? Because he's seen multiple doctors virtually so he definitely wasn't questioning the concept of virtual appointments in general. He def doesn't mean me being here because he has no concept of it. 

 

he's the fucking textbook definition of 'penny wise, pound foolish.' add to that his massive sense of entitlement and it's just a mess of wasted time and unnecessary stress. but yeah, let's spent a stupid amount of time trying to claim this laughable pension, but then totally ignore actual problems that will have actual consequences sooner rather than later. :rolleyes: 

 

11 hours ago, Marauder said:

Im in Utah.  I can't help anyone.  Not even myself or my daughter.  Im mostly just angry.  I imagine there are plenty of us feeling that right now.  I've always been the minority here in many ways, but its feeling more and more burdensome as time passes.

 

11 hours ago, Athaclena said:

Tennessee here. Literally not a single dem even RUNNING for most local races. And watching\reading local "debates" makes me want to scream. It's the same back home in SC where I grew up - and I just couldn't stay in Atlanta (although my district flipped blue in the last election - I was about ready to commit felonies on my neighbors and needed to go where there were fewer people). I will personally be poking our state party leadership about WTF to do in our district - state and federal - before 2024.

 

It's not the same thing at all, but I feel like I can't do a whole lot to help from where I am either - like, Elizabeth Warren is one of my senators. Doesn't really need to be convinced of anything right now. I can call and say "hey keep doing what you're doing" but like, aside from donating to the ACLU or Satanic Temple or whatever, there's no one I can vote for to change things and no angry phone calls I can make to register with some dickhead who only cares about getting reelected in November. Like yeah for now I'm safe living where I am but it's a different kind of "fuck, now what?"

 

5 hours ago, Athaclena said:

I SO feel this. I love my hubby - but because of his health issues he is completely unable\incapable of having anything resembling a set schedule. But the kitchen is MINE and he doesn't complain (possibly because he knows he BETTER NOT) when he gets a plate in the fridge if he sleeps through dinner..... but lots of people don't understand that he flips his schedule REGULARLY unless he absolutely HAS to do something\be somewhere that he simply cannot bail on.....

teach me how to scare people out of the kitchen plz. every time I think I've found a time where no one can possibly be around to bother me... nope.

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Sharing this in case it helps anyone else make sense of their issues. 
 

so this week in therapy I brought up how I like, can’t conceptualize things in the future? Like I’ll book races months out with more than enough time to train and then suddenly the race is tomorrow and I haven’t done anything. Or I’ll see a job I want to apply to and it actually has a closing date on it and somehow my brain translates that to “it’s not due til X date” and then I still won’t do it and the date passes. Or the ever popular “there is a 20-page paper due at the end of the semester and I swear I’m going to start next week” and then whoops the paper is due in two hours and I’m on page 3. 
 

fun fact, I’m not trying to pathologize every single issue I have. Buuuuuut my concept of “normal” is so fucking broken that I’m constantly asking her “is this an actual problem, and if so how big of one, and either way how do I fix it?” I’m saying this mostly as a reminder to myself because I’m so fucking annoyed that I constantly need literal reality checks and am still finding things that are like “yeah no, that’s not how normal/healthy people do things.” Womp. 
 

anyway. So I’d also mentioned seeing a tumblr post once upon a time discussing how for some people with certain issues, some are somehow like hyperaware of time and some have time blindness and it just means nothing to them. I didn’t explain it well to her nor am I doing it well now because it’s been years since I saw that post but still. And she said that some with various executive dysfunction issues only deal with time as “now” and “not now.” Where obviously “now” is what matters and “not now” is too far away to be real. And “not now” varies from person to person; for some it might be next week, others next month, etc. The key is figuring out what your own “not now” is and structuring things within those limits. 
 

 

aaaand that’s all I got on that. It totally makes sense to me but it also overloaded the poor hamster on its spinning wheel in my brain. My therapist is off the next two weeks so I guess I get to spend that time trying to parse this shit out. And trying to untangle what is a time issue (just doesn’t feel soon enough to matter) vs what is an anxiety issue (avoiding it because scared) vs what is a depression issue (inertia mostly). Yes something could be more than one of the above but untangling things will still help. 
 

Also I’m really fucking annoyed. A number of things I wind up talking with her about, like this one, she’ll say something like “in people with depression/anxiety/ADHD…” and fine, that makes sense because they’re all executive dysfunction. But I’ve wondered about AD(H)D f o r e v e r and can’t get an answer. Did a couple of assessments with my therapist in DC and fell juuuust below the threshold for needing to see someone for a diagnosis. Take online assessments, grains of salt included, constantly get scores  that say “hey go talk to a professional because you might have this.” Asked my current therapist, apparently it’s not a stretch to think I could have it but since most of my symptoms could also be explained by anxiety or depression or ptsd any testing or whatever would be inconclusive. So I need to wait until I can downgrade from being a hot mess to just a lukewarm one? Room temperature? Regardless I’d have to move out because nothing that I could do know would give a clear picture given the constant reacting to trauma and bullshit. 

 

and it sucks because while not every problem needs to have an associated diagnosis and I can work on things as they crop up, having a name or an explanation for things helps me deal with it and gives a more complete picture. Case in point, I was seeing my therapist in DC just for anxiety. We talked about my parents and my shitty childhood and she agreed with me that they weren’t supportive and really sucked and that’s where some of my issues came from, it makes so much more sense to say “oh this is a trauma response” than “yeah idk my parents suck.” Like knowing that I have PTSD puts things into perspective and presents a framework through which to deal with the symptoms and the causes. If someone could tell me, for sure, that I *dont* have adhd, I could go “okay, time to look harder at how this issue could be trauma or anxiety.” And if I *do* have it, then it’s “okay how does this complicate the issues” and/or “have I been attacking this one thing thinking is mostly a depression thing but maybe it’s adhd instead?” But nope. Caught here in fucking purgatory. 
 

i had no plans to write the second half of this post, I was just going to write about the time thing and move on. But clearly this adhd thing is weighing on me. It’s not like one of my signature moves is fixating on something that I can’t actually do anything about and then use said fixation as an excuse for not actually doing anything about other problems I could maybe work on. Nope, never done that in my life. Never. 

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9 hours ago, fleaball said:

Warren is one of my senators

wootwoot, rhode island ftw.

 

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

apparently it’s not a stretch to think I could have it but since most of my symptoms could also be explained by anxiety or depression or ptsd any testing or whatever would be inconclusive. So I need to wait until I can downgrade from being a hot mess to just a lukewarm one? Room temperature? Regardless I’d have to move out because nothing that I could do know would give a clear picture given the constant reacting to trauma and bullshit. 

 

*cracks knuckles*

 

Within the DSM, there are a list of criteria that 'qualify' a person as having a specific issue.  Within differential diagnosis, there is a section according to each condition that talks about overlap with other disorders.  Say, for example, a child might have ADHD.  Within ADHD there is also a differential diagnosis of Autism spectrum.  Both exhibit "inattention, social dysfunction, difficult-to-manage behavior."  The social dysfunction and peer rejection seen with people with ADHD need to be *differential* from the social disengagement, isolation, and indifference seen from someone who is on the autism spectrum.  So he bold section is applicable to both people with ADHD and people on the spectrum, but more time needs to be taken in order to more clearly define the person as having adhd or having austism.

 

Based on a lot of what you write in prior challenges, it sounds like there is overlap with a couple of things, which then makes it harder to clearly define what, exactly, is the classification that you have.

 

I mean, think about co-occuring disorders: a person is exhibiting a lot of issues - it is because of a specific personality diagnosis or is it because they are taking drugs to self-medicate?  It's hard to separate conditions if there is overlapping critera.

 

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

If someone could tell me, for sure, that I *dont* have adhd, I could go “okay, time to look harder at how this issue could be trauma or anxiety.” And if I *do* have it, then it’s “okay how does this complicate the issues” and/or “have I been attacking this one thing thinking is mostly a depression thing but maybe it’s adhd instead?” But nope. Caught here in fucking purgatory. 

 

*cracks knuckles*  Gonna write a lot.

 

 

ADHD has a whole list of criteria that might be muddied because of other issues.   Here, it'll take a few minutes but I'll type straight from the DSM/therapist's bible and include my own personal notes throughout:

 

 

Must have:

1)Inattention- 6 (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that NEGATIVELY IMPACTS DIRECTLY on social and academic/occupational activities:

a-Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities (overlooks details and work inaccurate)

b-Often has difficulty in sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (has difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading).

c-Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of any obvious distraction)

d-Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (starts tasks but quickly loses focus/sidetracked)

e-Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (difficulty managing sequential tasks, difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order, messy, disorganized work, has poor time management, fails to meet deadlines).

f-Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (schoolwork/homework, reports, completing forms, reviewing lengthy papers).

g-Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallet, keys, paperwork, phone)

h-Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (unregulated thoughts)

i-Is often forgetful in daily activities (doing chores, running errands, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments.)

 

Part 2) Hyperactivity and impulsivity- 6 (or more) of the following list:

a-Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet or squirms in seat.

b-Often leaves seat in situations wen remaining seated is expected (school/work)

c-Often runs about of climbs in situations were it is inappropriate (in adults, may translate to feeling restless)

d-Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly.

e-Is often 'on the go' acting as if 'driven by a motor' (is unable to be or uncomfortable being still for extended time, as in restaurants, meetings, may be restless)

f-Often talks excessively

g-Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed (completes other sentences, cannot wait turn to talk)

h-Often has difficulty waiting their turn (in line)

i-Often interrupts or intrudes on others (buts into convos, games, activities, may start using people's items without asking or receiving permission, may intrude on others.

 

 

Now besides needing 6 in part 1 and 6 in part 2, there also needs to be:

-Several inattentive or hyperactive impulsive symptoms present PRIOR to age 12.

-Several inattentive/hyperactive impulsive symptoms present in TWO or more settings (home and work, school and home, with friends and with relatives, etc)

-Clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with or reduce the quality of life of social/academic/occupational functioning

-The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder and are not better explained by another mental disorder (ex: Mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, personality disorder, substance intoxication or withdrawal)

 

 

Right there in the bold is what the therapist is talking about.  The differential diagnosis, aka, the overlap conditions within ADHD are the following:

 

-Oppositional Defiant Disorder (basically, being rebellious towards authority figures.  The antsy-restlessness criteria might be because someone has this instead)

-Intermittent Explosive Disorder (Both ADHD and IED have high levels of impulsive behavior.  IED has more aggression tied to that disorder and IED can pay attention.)

-Neurodevelopmental Disorders (like how i was talking about autism earlier. repetitive movements for autism could be = restless for ADHD.  The social issues overlap as well. Tourettes and repetitive tics could also be classified here.)

-Specific Learning Disorder (Restless-impulsive because the person has a learning disability and it's more an outburst of frustration from not 'getting it'.)

-Intellectual Disability (Same as the learning disorder, basically.  It's stemming from frustration rather than an inability to focus.)

-Reactive Detachment Disorder (social disengagement overlap)

-Anxiety Disorders (ADHD are inattentive because of their attraction to external stimuli, new activities, or preoccupation with enjoyable activities.  The differential diagnosis that separates Anxiety from ADHD is the 'due to worry and rumination'.  ADHD, the classification, is NOT associated with worry/rumination..

-Depressive Disorders (Inability to concentrate overlap.)

-Bipolar (Both has increased activity, poor concentration, and increased impulsivity, BUT the features within bipolar are -Episodic-.  They come and go.  The Increased impulsivity and inattention is also accompanied with elevated mood, grandiosity, and other bipolar features during an Episode.  ADHD is common for those who display "excessive anger and irritability".)

-Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (Overlap is pervasive irritability and intolerance of frustration, but there is NO impulsive actions with DMDD.  However, a lot of people who are diagnosed with ADHD are also diagnosed with DMDD as they seem to go hand-in-hand.

-Substance Use (all depends on the substance.  Basically you can't make a distinction if, say, a person is ALWAYS drinking: maybe the person always drinking is showing ADHD symptoms, or weed or cocaine, etc)

-Personality Disorders (Such as Borderline, Narcissistic, and others.  A lot of the personality disorders feature disorganization, social intrusiveness, emotional dysregulation, cognitive dysregulation.  HOWEVER, ADHD is not characterized by: Fear of abandonment, self-injury, extreme ambivalence, etc.

-Psychotic Disorders (ADHD is not diagnosed if there is a psychotic episode)

-Medication-induce Symptoms (Inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity can be attributed to certain meds, like bronchodilators, isonazid, neuroleptics, thyroid replacement medication.  For instance, if people have an overactive thyroid, there is a surgery done to intentionally damage the thyroid.  Then you have to be on a medication forever which essential does what your thyroid should have done - which is related to having energy and weightloss.  That energy increase might be too much and come off as irritability/impulsive/restlessness, so a person on a thyroid medication might have symptoms that would seem like ADHD even though they don't have ADHD.)

-Neurocognitive disorders (Dementia and other neurocognitive disorders have similar features of restlessness/confusion/inattention, etc.)

 

---------------------

 

Looking at all of this, in addition to your posts and the fact we hung out years ago in person, it looks like you might not qualify (but be close/have overlap) but even though I'm a professional - I didn't have multiple therapy sessions with you so take what I'm saying with a few grains of salt.  If there are other classifications you have in that Differential Diagnosis list, then the explanation for ADHD might lie in those conditions instead.  If you are always irritable and frustrated, but you aren't going out and doing impulsive things, that looks like Disruptive Mood Dysregulation.  If you are inattentive a lot and you ruminate and worry, then it makes sense that you would be classified as having a Generalized Anxiety Disorder instead of ADHD.  PTSD has overlap with these things as well.  So if you had Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD, that might look like having 75% of what would qualify as ADHD.  The overlap is what makes classification so difficult, because it's not very often that a person has just 1 single thing that is going on with them and instead, you end up with a ballpark estimation of what is going on with the person.  Knowing clearly what you do have would then determine what kinds of meds - it would be a mess if you were categorized as 1 thing and given a med that doesn't actually help at all (or even makes things worse) rather than getting a clear and precise diagnosis.

 

While I totally understand 'I need to know what is wrong with me', as I've been in that boat for many years as well, it's not something very cut and dry.  However, the fact that you care and are concerned about this shows you have motivation to change and work on whatever issue(s) there are.  You're a great person.  You're funny and engaging when we met.  And I know that, given time, fine-tuning this with a therapist will be helpful for you.  You got this: even when there are lots of days that you think you don't.  You still show motivation for change and that's the biggest determining factor for *actually* changing.

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Something set off my anxiety but I have no idea what it was or why so now my brain is just blue screening. If anyone needs me I’ll be rocking back and forth in the corner mumbling nonsense. 

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Oh hey and now we have an ant problem in the kitchen. Raise your hand if you’re not fucking surprised at all  


 

 

 

 

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Decided over an hour ago I wanted to go to bed. As soon as I stood up I realized I was hungry. Fine, eat food and then go to bed after waiting a bit so reflux doesn’t murder me. Yeah no, still hungry. Then my brother texts me “so many ants.” Awesome. I go down and the two of us move pretty much everything on the counter and there’s no magical ant colony or hole where they could be coming through. Between us we kill about 30, but not all at once. No, they’re just popping up one or two at a time. Not in the same area of the counter either, just all across it. Doesn’t look like they’re coming from or returning to a central location, they’re just there all of a sudden. They’re not in the bread box (or even in the moldy half loaf of bread that expired in May!), they’re not in the trash barrel part of the cabinet, they’re not anywhere. Until they are. 
 

idk. I’m pissed. And tired. And still hungry. My life is dumb. 
 

also it’s 3:35am and 77F and humid. Imma need climate change to call the fuck down because I do not need this shit right now. 

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Oh my god kill me. So one of the things I helped my father with the other day was the patient portal for our hospital system because holy fuck is it not user friendly and also he’s an idiot who doesn’t pay attention to things anyway. In it we find an unread letter from the guy who did his colonoscopy the first week of June and it says there’s an indication of collagenous colitis; some medications can cause it, apparently, so he told my father to make an appointment with his office to go over his med list and discuss what else to do. (He immediately called to make said appointment, after I yelled at him to, but then he made it for the very end of this month. It’s virtual. You’re an idiot.) 

 

I googled it just now while I’m waiting to not get reflux from my snack. 
 

it’s a form of IBD. 
 

fuck my life. 
 

according to the Cleveland clinic page it’s not life threatening or nearly as serious as other types of IBD but it’s also rare and thus not well studied so the treatment is basically ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Like generally modifying your diet, trying an elimination diet, reducing sugar and gluten, and eating an anti inflammatory diet are all suggested. Have I mentioned my father has the eating habits and palate of a toddler? When I looked at his test results in the past and said oh you’re negative for celiac he was like “good because I would have punched someone if they told me I had to do that gluten free bullshit.” So this is going to go over real fuckin well. 
 

 

am I catastrophizing a bit? Probably. Is whatever treatment he needs for this going to suck for me regardless? Absolutely. Even if it’s just diet modification I’m going to have to hear him bitching all the time. Ugh. 
 

 

 

okay. Now I’m gonna try to go to bed despite it being hot as balls and despite thinking there are ants crawling all over me. Wish me luck. 

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I wonder how many ants it would take to carry your dad away?

 

FWIW, those little plastic square traps (example here, but there are lots of brands) are super effective. We used to see ants every spring, and I'd buy two packs of those, spread them around the house near doors or other possible entry points and in places I'd seen ants. They take the poison back to the colony so the beauty of it is you don't need to know where they're coming from, you just need to let them go back there and in a week or two they're all dead. Worked every time for years.

 

I can only hope that if he has some kind of IBD you can somehow use it to your advantage. If his doctor scares him badly enough maybe he'd be less weird when you want to cook healthy stuff and actually listen to you for a change.

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7 hours ago, Severine said:

FWIW, those little plastic square traps (example here, but there are lots of brands) are super effective.

We use those - PLUS this for active infestations. Obviously, put it where cats can't get to it - but this will typically halt an infestation in a day or 2. That plus the squares keeps them from coming back - and if you get them a particular time of year, put the squares out BEFORE it gets bad and you won't need the liquid bait. But if you forget .... the liquid stops 'em "cold".

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I texted my father to get the aforementioned ant traps while he was out. (Thanks ladies!) He wasn’t out, he’s on the back porch. He started taking a sleeping med on Wednesday and it’s not helping him sleep yet but it is fucking him up so he can’t drive during the day. As far as ant traps go, whatever, I’ll ask my brother to look for them at work tonight. But if my father is going to be around all day every day now I might just cry. 

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This doesn’t resonate quite so much with me because I’ve never seen Star Trek, but I yoinked it from Reddit bc some of y’all might need it. 
 

image.png.116e6b9fcc348e57dbd80b6639750597.png

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Scheiße. It’s July 3rd, otherwise known as the day my mother went to the hospital and began her downward spiral. All week I’ve been feeling like there was something significant coming up and whoop, there it is. Now we can all look forward to me being extra moody for the next six weeks. Especially as it gets closer to august, because this will be 5 years and I have no idea how Thing 1 and Thing 2 will handle it. 
 

Unrelated, it just occurred to me that if my father’s sleeping meds actually start to do their job so I might also be able to go to bed earlier and sleep better since he won’t be up screaming at all hours. Cross your fingers yall. 
 

and now I’m going to eat a salad and continue reading a book aptly called Toxic Parents. 

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Fairly certain I used ‘aptly’ wrong there. It’s 1am I can’t be fucked to figure it out. 

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bruh reading books like this sucks because so fucking much of it resonates. #triggered

 

if anybody else is a masochist, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is also a helpful book. 

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I’ve told my father three days in a row we have an ant problem and to be aware of leaving food out. He gets pissy that I nag and also because having pests of any kind is an obvious we aren’t some kind of “””normal””” household.* 

 

So of course my brother texts me a photo at 2am of an ice cream sandwich wrapper just hanging out on the counter and oh yeah, swarming with ants. There’s also a plate with the remnants of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, plus some aluminum foil covered in watermelon juice. 
 

but we don’t know why we have ants, right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

i put down two bait traps and I’m crossing my fingers. It was a bitch to figure out where to put them because I am the only one of us that ever closes cabinet doors, so even my brother agreed we shouldn’t put them in certain places if we want the cats to stay away. 
 

have I mentioned I hate my life?

 

*because he is obsessed with appearances even though no one will see ants or mice or whatever from outside the house? When I was younger he would storm through the house every day yanking blinds all the way open because “people will think we’re freaks” if they were closed. 

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Oh and on top of all this fun, there’s a weird bump that just appeared on my boob today. Doesn’t look like a zit, doesn’t itch like a bug bite. I know cancerous lumps usually can’t be seen and are internal so I’m not panicking that it’s that. But like, hey mystery bump, of all the places you could have appeared you have to pick that one? And right now?

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God what a bloody night. Everything always happens all at once. You should take all the food wrappers and put them in your dad's room if he can't clean up after himself. Let him enjoy the ants. Okay, not really, but fun to imagine. Also lol, we have our blinds closed most of the time.

 

Totally hear you on the book-reading discomfort at recognizing things in the descriptions. I felt that way about a couple of the trauma books I read. I still found them very helpful but it took a lot of emotional energy to read them.

 

FWIW another good pet-safe place to put the little ant squares is under the stove and fridge. If they're far enough under, animals can't fish them out and they tend to be ant-attracting places due to dropped crumbs.

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2 minutes ago, Severine said:

God what a bloody night. Everything always happens all at once. You should take all the food wrappers and put them in your dad's room if he can't clean up after himself. Let him enjoy the ants. Okay, not really, but fun to imagine. Also lol, we have our blinds closed most of the time.

If we didn’t have brain dead cats who like eating plastic and other not-cat-food things I would seriously consider just dumping all his shit in his room istg. Like he complains about my brother leaving shit lying around all the time (valid, although he’s somehow less messy than my father in common areas) and like… dude just shut up. Pot/kettle, glass houses, whatever, pick your metaphor. 

 

2 minutes ago, Severine said:

 

Totally hear you on the book-reading discomfort at recognizing things in the descriptions. I felt that way about a couple of the trauma books I read. I still found them very helpful but it took a lot of emotional energy to read them.

High five. I noped out of The Body Keeps the Score in chapter 1 two or three years ago. Now it just sits on my bookcase taunting me with its stupid orange spine. I’ll get back to it at some point but hoo boy there are not enough spoons for that one right now. 

 

2 minutes ago, Severine said:

FWIW another good pet-safe place to put the little ant squares is under the stove and fridge. If they're far enough under, animals can't fish them out and they tend to be ant-attracting places due to dropped crumbs.

Oooh good call. I’ve been hyper focused on trying to put them where we think the ants are coming from right now, but putting them elsewhere can’t hurt. 

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I woke up with such a fucking headache that won’t go away. Pretty sure it’s TMJ related bc my posture has been extra shit for a while. i actually can’t wait for that fatty liver study to start (was supposed to be last week, they rescheduled to next week) bc taking baby aspirin every day (or getting the placebo effect if not) definitely can’t hurt given all the inflammatory bullshit happening in my body right now. 
 

in other news, even though I haven’t gone out for a walk in like six weeks my father has apparently become accustomed to me going out now. I came downstairs with headphones on as he was coming in the front door and he starts asking me if I have a house key. Yes? I ask why it matters and he says so he doesn’t lock me out. Never mind that the side door and garage door are never locked but whatever. He keeps getting pissy that I’m questioning why he’s suddenly asking me about keys when he should know I have one. Whatever. Subject changes, he does his complaining about life bullshit, then when he’s done complaining he says never mind go for your walk, how far are you going etc etc. 

 

i look down to where I’m wearing ratty pajamas, no bra, and slippers. “I’m gonna finish doing the dishes.” Then he gets all pissy again, he thought I was going out because I have headphones on. So it’s my fault for not understanding that he was asking if I have a key *with me* under the assumption I was going for a walk. Never mind that literally every time I’ve gone out in the past I said “I have a key, please lock the door if you go out” because he never fucking locks the door. 
 

so yeah. I guess Pokémon was good for something. Now I just need to get in the habit of going out again. 

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